fattskinnygurlie - Tumblr blog

fattskinnygurlie · 10 months

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I deleted this app and was so much happier:

I was on this app for probably a year and was involved in this community of toxicity. I know wanting to look a certain way is important and don't get me wrong, your appearance is important, but there are more important things. I did make some amazing friends and talked to amazing people from this app and it really has a great side to it of advice and friendly people but there is also a really bad side. This environment of comparing makes people selfish. I didn't realize how obliviously selfish I was until a family health scare. Now I've been trying to not focus on my looks and I have been happier. I have more friends than I've ever had. I've been more successful and I look the best I have in a while. Change is scary but it's so worth it and I'm really happy with my life now.

#tw ed diet #ana trigger #ed life #ed bllog #tw ana shit #disordered eating thoughts #tw ana diary #th1n$po #ribspiration #notprojustusingthetags #i want to be slim #speak now #life #happiness #self love

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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Getting to the point where every day seems exactly the same as the last and all the weeks and days and months just blur together. Don't know if I'm depressed or just sad. So lonely that I don't know what to do. I don't have friends im just friendly. I'm never happy. Nothing makes me laugh anymore and I miss the days where everything seemed so easy.

#i dont know #ed life #i want to be pretty #loneliest #sadgirl #fat and ugly

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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Never being happy and always mad at myself abt food:

Lana Del Rey being my short term happiness

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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Pov your family is enjoying themselves in the other room and your sobbing in the next because you just can't hold it in any longer.

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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self love bullshit

self love is - as the title says- bullshit. honestly i think its a concept for people who really hate themselves to pretend. Pretend to love their bodies when really they think about fixing their looks all the time. People pretend to be confident when they really are all just insecure.

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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@lesbeunstable2 go follow them!!!

Hello!! I’ve been really inactive lately but I decided that I actually need to start working harder to make it to my goal weight.

I’m looking for an ana buddy who will message me actively. We can help each other!

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fattskinnygurlie · 1 year

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I have had the absolute worse week. I binged every single fucking day and why? Because I was "stressed"? Suck it up. People out there who binge (including myself this week) are the most disgusting people to exist. So suck up your feelings and please stop... Don't let it ruin you the way it did me. I'm fat now, I can't get anything under control and now I have to go into a two week fast to make sure these pounds shred off. Dont mess up because when you do your missing out on perfection.

Currently starting this look on my BMI simulator

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Things to do to suppress heavy cravings and binges:

* during a fast you should always stick to hot water in the morning like True Lemon(0 cals) packs for tea and green tea(2 cals)

*try not to go into your kitchen or near food items out in a counter or table... Studies show your more likely to eat something if it's near you.

* find inspo and keep an optimistic mindset! It feels less motivating when your upset or dont have anything to do so get out and go for a walk or meet up with friends!

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Tomorrow I need to remember:

I'll look better skinny

Spoiler alert; there is no tomorrow... Looking better skinny starts now

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Thank you everyone for 100 followers!! I'm very grateful to all you wonderful people out there and thank you all for the support you have given me. Wishing everyone the best!!

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Yo this is my new motto 😎😎

You will not lose weight with eating such high calorie-fatty foods. Don’t you want to make it to your goal weight? No food tastes better than skinny feels. Chew gum instead.

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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The mask.

Idk how to explain the drop in my stomach when the scale changes. I can't explain the looks I get when the guy i'm talking to is an inch shorter(i know, i know) and half of my weight. I can't explain how I can't cry. How the tears never come. But I can't breathe. Every time anything changes I can't hold in the panic. Nothing really makes me happy except for a plan. My plan. When I'm skinny, and pretty, when people smile at me instead of the other way around. When they want to come up and be with me. When people really care about me. I try, for all of them to be there for everyone and I am, but no one is never really here for me. I'm alone. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. And no one notices. Because to lose the weight I have to cover up everything that's really me. Sometimes I don't even know if any of it is really me, because its never been my life. My life's been for everyone to benefit from. But no one really cares for me. Ever. I want someone to love me for me. Not for my mask. Not for the gentle smiles and soft spoken voice, but the ugly laugh and sad brown eyes. I want them to love me

and not her.

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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stop encouraging people to kill themselves with your fucked up posts.

Im not encouraging it, I'm making them for myself and people are coming to them. If there's any specific post that's too much let me know and I'll see if I can edit it. This page is really my own place where I can express my own feelings so if you could understand that, I'd really appreciate it. I'm sorry if the posts are too triggering but there for the people who want to connect with me and I'm sorry if there upsetting to you.

If anyone else has a problem with my posts please let me know and I'll try to accommodate it so it's less triggering. Honestly people come on this app to see posts like mine so I'm not really sure how I'm the most triggering one but I'm not trying to upset people. I hope everyone can understand and help me make it more comfortable for you all.

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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I hate the feeling when people start to recognize your habits. I hate the feeling of when someone you know is so much smaller than you. I hate the feeling of knowing that I'm trying hard to look the way I do, while the rest of them role out of bed looking perfect. I hate looking in the mirror because I know she doesn't look like me. She isn't who I want to be. I hate the thought that one day I'm going to end up hurting others just because my ED will become severe. But I have to do it. Maybe it makes me selfish or dumb, but I want to role out of bed and be perfect. It's strange how something I never thought of has become my life. How to be perfect.

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Idk but I've gotta get this down so if anyone wants to join go ahead:

I have a goal that by Halloween I'll be 25 pounds lighter so if anyone has any tips or anything please comment I'd really appreciate! Happy fasting and hope you have a good day!

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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For a second you think your skinny... But after looking at other people around you and realize your the fat one. It's sad when you try and try but it's never enough... There always skinnier. The only thing to do is try harder, do more, push yourself, because once you reach a certain point in your life you won't be able to change, to fix things. Life is like Autumn, it seems slow but really the leaves fall all at once. Ana is like Autumn, do it now before it turns to winter.

Be the beautiful person that someone else will compare themselves to.

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fattskinnygurlie · 2 years

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Being a fat person is so embarrassing. I don't wear nice clothes because I'm ugly and huge, Im shy because I don't have the confidence like skinny girls do... But I will be skinny. I need to be skinny. The people you know and talk to all start with an opinion of how you look. So why can't people be interested in me? Because I'm fat. Because I'm quiet at the start. But being skinny means you could be loud and people won't look you up and down in disgust. Being skinny means people want to talk to you, they want your praise and attention... Not the other way around. Being skinny means that other people will love you the way you wish you loved yourself. Being skinny means your the top of the pyramid. The best.

So be skinny. Do it.

#i wish i was thinner #tw ed diet #4na diary #ana goals #ed life #tw ed in the tags #skinnysp0 #thinsppp #fat and ugly #i need to lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be pretty #i want to be weightless #i hate my body

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