hazeltiberiuslee

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Learning to Love Again Chapter 1

I gazed at the glaze lilies that wafted through the wind and took a deep breathe.

Eyes heavy, I closed my eyes slowly and just listened to the slight air breezing through the plants below me as I stayed leaning on the wooden railing.

I thought about my ex and how things transitioned from love to manipulation. How I felt played and stupid being fooled and staying even after all the red flags. My eyes started stinging and I could feel the dewy drops slowly appearing on my eyelids.

I felt so stupid. So hurt. So upset and mad at not just myself but him as well. I wondered why I stayed for a moment to process my feelings.

“Did I want to fix him? Did I feel like he was the only one who could ‘love me’ which is why I settled for him?” I wondered out loud. The wind seemed to softly rustle the back of my head and I just let the tears drop.

He was my first love, and I was an adult. For someone who saved themselves for a long time and to be called ‘easy.’ It hurt. It made me upset and anger ignited. “I fucking hate him for what he did.”

All the things he said. All the things he did. The way he went about consent and how I handled the whole thing as well. I felt ashamed and my pride had crumbled to the floor into shattered pieces by the time I completely left him.

“I wanted it to work.” And that was what had upset me.

“He was my first love and I had sworn the whole time I was saving myself that my first would be my last.” I muttered. Turning around, I finally lifted myself off the railing and slowly started looking around to make sure no one was watching.

Though I advocated vulnerability a lot, it was still a subject that I wasn’t completely ready to share with others. Or at least, those who wasn’t close to me.

Walking grudgingly on the beige path before me, I pulled my sleeve and was about to wipe my eyes before pausing. I gave up on the notion and set it back down, letting tears fall as I continued thinking.

“I was just being stubborn…” I whispered. Biting my lip, I griped my pants and breathed out deeply again.

“Because of that belief, because I wanted it to work and live that fairy tale life of first love being the last one… I let two years go by trying to fix something that was a lost cause in the first place.” I heaved.

My ex had no intention of fixing himself. Sure he became nice when he needed sex but that was about it. Just a means to an end to get what he wanted.

“And I let him do it.” My voice broke as I lowered my head down. “It sucks.” I said. There was silence in the air and I found loneliness as well as contentment in it.

Sitting down underneath an apple tree, I heaved out all the tears that had built up in me over the years.

I cried there for a long time. By the time I gazed back up, the sun was drifting down to settle underneath Teyvat again. I continued sitting there in silence, not bothering to do anything about my tear stained face.

Closing my eyes again, I soaked in the leftover warmth before the sun completely said goodbye.

“Ha…” I released my fetal position and leaned back against the apple trunk. It was now time to sleep, though it might have been dangerous doing so. But you were strong, so you just let yourself drift to sleep, not knowing that two men were watching over you to make sure you were safe.

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #self insert #isekai

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Meeting My Love From Another World

Chapter Text Marionette smirked at the Captain. His short blue hair shimmered from the reflections of the sun and his eye twinkled dangerously. "Kaeya. Pffft." She chuckled, unable to restrain her laughter at the juicy sight before her. This wasn't what either of them were expecting but Marionette couldn't hold in her giggles. Her husband in another world was a genuine pirate, with the Fatui flag waving on the ship. "My my, this world sure is giving me a new view." She commented to herself, appreciating the loose shirt Kaeya displayed to the world. Even here, he still knows his sex appeal. she thought. "It seems our guest isn't right in the head as she seems to be humoring herself in the middle of a dangerous ship." Kaeya’s voice cut through. A sickeningly frosty smile replaced his once shocked features and like a switch the air went rigid. Ice started crackling over the ship floor and Kaeya’s crew shivered in cold sweat. "What is a daring lady like you doing here?" He asked. "Hooo. I prefer you with longer hair, but as I thought, you still look great with short hair." Marionette sighed in admiration and flapped her black fan open as she observed him. The corner of Kaeya’s lips twitched at the unexpected praise but knew he was being ignored right now. Opening his mouth to get answers, he slammed it shut in stunned silence at the next few sentences. "A husband's harsh attitude, my, what a culture shock." Marionette sighed. She tsked as she seemed a little mournful. "Hmph, I'll make sure to get cuddles out of you once I go back home." The sound of metal clashed against the ground as a ship mate snapped his head in shock towards Captain Kaeya. More swords and guns dropped as the rest of the crew's head turned to look at him. Their eyes seemed to be bulging out of their sockets. "O-Our cold captain who doesn't even give women another glance is m-m-married?!!?" Someone cried out in horror. A grimace darkened Kaeya’s expression at the unexpected turn of events but his body suddenly flinched. An odd warmth rose in his chest and his palms got sweaty. Light headed, Kaeya stumbled as he grasped his head. "Ugh!!" He groaned in pain as a rush of memories that weren't his own flooded his vision. Emotions slammed through him and he felt as though he couldn't breathe as his body heated up. "I love you Marionette. Let's make a spirit contract." Another Kaeya who was dressed differently in Mondstadt clothing kneeled before a beautiful woman with wavy, fiery red hair. A memory? But its not even mine- The memory pulsed and another image came through as love burst with life for the woman named Marionette. "Please don't leave me."

The other Kaeya caressed Marionette's shoulders with a tenderness that he had never expressed before as he embraced her from behind. He held onto her for dear life as if the moment Kaeya released her, she would disappear in front of him. His body shivered in fear as the feelings of desperation and anguish filled his being. The short haired Kaeya gasped for air as he reached out in pain towards the intruder. As if by habit, Marionette stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him lovingly with a surprised expression.

Everyone on the ship completely dropped their weapons and looked back and forth between the two in confusion. Though their leader had just collapsed, they didn't know what to do since he was clinging on to her. Whimpers that they had never heard before escaped their Captain's voice at the contact.

Marionette cautiously peeked at the panting man who's body felt like fire to the touch. She pursed her lips before cautiously whispering close to his ear. "Kae?" Kaeya felt tremors through his body as he heard the now-familiar voice. The look that this world's Kaeya was giving him was a familiar one. One that she would see many times before her Kaeya’s marriage proposal. A look of love and fear of abandonment. An eye full of tears ready to spill in hopes that she would stay. A helpless look that never seemed to have gone away until their contract was made. "Ma...ry." he struggled out, breath hitching with agony before collapsing into her. His grip on her dress remained tight as though even unconscious, he was afraid she'd slip away forever from him.

Notes: If you liked it please leave a like, comment, or subscribe to me :3 I really appreciate comments, it helps me write instead of keeping my ideas all inside my daydreams. Also the pirate Kaeya thing was actually inspired by a fanart of Kaeya that Heartselect from youtube/instagram drew. You can find it here! https://www.instagram.com/p/CTqY8eiBU2U/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #kaeya angst #kaeyagenshinimpact #oc #originalcharacter #pirate #au #alternative universe

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Unloved Barbara

(flash fiction for Genshintober)

Asher grimaced as he glanced at Barbara talking (or more like nagging) Rosaria. Rosaria had her arms crossed as she looked bored into the distance, nodding her head as if she was listening.

Mondstadt was bustling since it was noon, the time to grab lunch. A line was already forming at the restaurant and Asher sighed as he watched Sara tirelessly relay orders to the chef.

Turning away, Asher decided that instead of getting the radish veggie soup that he was craving, he would go out of the city to catch a meal instead.

Lumine had gone out for a commission with Piamon, so he found himself bored out of his mind by himself. Lumine had scolded Asher prior to make more friends, but like Xiao, he simply stated that he didn’t need any more.

Rolling her eyes, Lumine shook her head at him before going out to Dragonspine.

Playing with a dagger in his hand, Asher crossed the bridge only to hear a sweet high voice calling out to him. A frown started forming on his face but he simply erased all emotions from his expression. Turning around, he found Barbara running up to him with Rosaria grudgingly following behind.

“How may I help you Ms. Barbara, Rosaria?” He asked politely.

Barbara beamed at him while Rosaria looked somewhat disgusted at him. Asher ignored her expression while keeping eye contact with the cheerful Deaconess.

“You’re Asher the adventurer correct? It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Barbara and we work at the Cathedral. There is an event planned today where we are welcoming newcomers with a free lunch!” Barbara beamed.

Giving a slight nudge with her elbow, Barbara gave Rosaria a puppy eyed look as if to cue something. Rosaria looked close to rolling her eyes but instead held out the basket she was holding.

The sweet smell of freshly made pancakes wafted out of it, making the corner of Asher’s lips twitch. He quite detested sweets like pancakes.

“Here.” Rosaria said flatly. She looked blankly at Asher, but some amusement twinkled in her eyes seeing Asher’s lips twitch a bit more before calming down. Her and Kaeya were well aware of his distaste towards sugary dishes. Barbara on the other hand, thought he was trying to suppress his excitement for it.

“No need to be shy! I made them myself, please have some and enjoy the rest of your day! If you’d ever like more, please stop by the Cathedral.” She smiled warmly.

Asher stiffly took the basket and nodded before Barbara turned away to make more deliveries. Rosaria stayed and hid her smirk behind her fist.

“You know you could always reject the gifts. I don’t know why you were so polite to her face when you’re not fond of her.” Rosaria stated.

Asher groaned slightly with his eyes closed as he knew how full he was gonna feel with the amount of pancakes in the basket.

“I’m not fond of her because of personal reasons. Not because of anything she did, so it wouldn’t be fair to her if I treated her wrongly.” he sighed.

Rosaria cocked a brow and shifted her weight onto one foot as she waited. “Oddly, you’re quite reasonable. So why do you not like her? She nags often but I don’t find her to be a bad kid. Though she does get on my nerves quite quickly.”

Gathering his thought, Asher sighed once more as he sat down and opened the basket. Another grimace appeared on his face as the smell of syrup assaulted his senses.

“She’s weak and way too nice.” He started.

“Always trying to put a smile on other people’s face at sometimes the expense of her own health. I don’t like how everyone adores her and she gets self conscious so easily.”

Pulling out the pancakes Asher crinkled his nose before cutting it into bite sized pieces.

“She doubts her own skills and tries to cut back on certain food just to look good. I don’t like how she caters herself to others when she should be confident and prioritize herself.” Asher said.

“…and I may not like how she gains the affection of others as easily. I know she puts in the work and is friendly so there’s no reason not to like her. I guess I’m just resentful that I didn’t gain affection like that growing up either.” He admitted.

Rosaria looked at him in surprise for saying something so personal but didn’t say anything. Instead she nodded before turning away. “Let’s meet up for drinks tonight at eight. Kaeya won’t be there so feel free to say what you want.”

Walking away, Asher watched Rosaria go. He felt a bit warm inside as he scarfed down the pancakes and thought that for once, it didn’t taste so bad.

///Yes Barbara is my least fav character. Fight me. link to genshintober prompt is here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CUXT3Efhcl6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

#barbara #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #rosaria #genshin #Oc #genshintober #writer #flash fiction

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Kaeya. Knight of Favonius.

and a series of few hairstyles ofc.

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Is My Life of Value? (Noelle & Zhongli Fanfic)

Noelle paused as she reached out for the cup of water on the counter. Dejected at the thoughts consuming her mind, she gripped the air tightly before lowering her hand.

As she glimpsed at the waters reflection, she saw her distraught expression looking back at her.

This was her eighth time taking the exam to become a knight of Favonius, and again, she had failed it. This time, Jean had come up to her to explain why she had failed.

“Though you have all the traits of a wonderful knight Noelle, you are a tad too reckless when it comes to yourself. A knight must treasure themselves, and value their own lives while aiding others. I wish for you to take this time to truly think about the value of your life, and not just everyone else’s. You’re special too, I only wish you could see that.” Jean said.

Noelle held her head as she kept thinking about it. Was she really that reckless? She only wished to give her all when it came to her aspirations. She didn’t think that was a bad thing.

But that had been exactly what kept her back from becoming a knight.

She sighed before heading outside of the shed to gaze at the sunset dipping lower into Teyvat. Gripping both her hands anxiously, she desperately looked around in vain to see if there was anyone in need of her help. Straining her ears, she tried to hear any horses footsteps, or a cry for help that she can assist with. But no one uttered her name, only the sounds of snoring from a boar who laid near a tree.

Shoulders drooping, she sighed deeply and decided that maybe she needed a walk to clear her head.

As the light from the sun diminished, the stars took its place to guide Noelle in her walk. Dandelions wavered in the air with its luminous blue glow, and Noelle finally stopped at the end of a giant cliff.

“Acting grand master Jean had told me to take some time off to rest and figure things out. I should do as she says since it is her order, however…” Breathing in another heavy sigh, Noelle sat down at the edge and let the wind rustle gently past her cheeks.

Her perfect posture made her sit upright, hands automatically folding itself on top of each other, neatly resting above her lap. The breathtaking view of Mondstadt filled her eyes as her mind wandered.

Did anyone call her name in hopes that she would arrive? Did someone feel an ache of disappointment, as she did, that she was no longer available to help them in their moment of need?

“…It is…quite lonely when I’m not doing my duties within Mondstadt.” she whispered.

She missed the feeling of being needed. Being wanted.

“Am I naive in thinking that chasing after your dreams without stopping is the right way to go?” She wondered out loud.

Keep your eyes on your goal and never stop working to get it. If you slack off, you’re being lazy. Never stop racing towards your dreams. Those had been the messages that came through while growing up as a child.

Is it possible those messages have been always wrong? She thought.

“Sigh…”

Closing her eyes, Noelle let herself go and flopped to the ground. The grass tickled the sides of her face as she listening to the rustling of the trees. All of it had somehow started to calm her raging thoughts.

It had been years since she rested like this. The only time she had done so was before her dreams ignited within her chest, as a child to be a knight. Ever since then, she had read hundreds of books about knights and their moral code.

Every time she read about them, the words had fanned the flames of her passion higher than it did before.

As her consciousness started fading, she felt a tug deep within her guiding her to another direction.

Looking around the dream, Noelle heard a sigh, and a slight whisper. She didn’t understand the context of the words, though the voice sounded oddly familiar.

“That old blockhead sure likes to put me to work even though there’s no wine to be exchanged for it.” It muttered.

‘Huh?’ Noelle voiced.

“Ah well, it’s not much work anyway. Well then, have a good talk Noelle! And next time, drink some wine with your friends! Wouldn’t want you to end up the same as that workaholic.” It sang, before a flash of light appeared and faded.

Out of habit Noelle shielded her eyes and blinked rapidly, only to find her breath escaping her.

‘Wow.’ She exclaimed.

All around her she saw pools of water and a low, wide tree centered on the small patch of land that she was standing on top of. Near her, a stone table stood with ceramic cups filled with herbal tea.

“Come child.” A voice called out.

Gasping in surprise, she snapped her head to look at the source of the voice and saw a tall gentleman with long brown hair and amber eyes. He gave a small smile and gestured her to sit.

For some reason, she found herself easily doing so.

In normal instances, she would have refused and instead asked if he required assistance before serving up some snacks.

He chuckled as if he knew what was going through her mind.

“I heard that the exam didn’t go quite as you wished.” he stated.

A pout began to form as Noelle’s lips puckered out. ‘It didn’t go well at all! Though I got everything right.’ She slumped in her seat.

‘From the physical aspects to the written parts, I’m sure I aced everything! But… I failed because master Jean said I didn’t care for my life well enough. But isn’t knights supposed to be able to put their lives on the line anyway to serve?’ She moped, hanging her head low.

A part of her was dumbfounded that she was suddenly acting like this but she couldn’t stop revealing her true feelings to the stranger. It was quite baffling.

The stranger didn’t seem to mind though as he smiled and gave a hearty chuckle.

“You have a strong sense of duty and loyalty to Mondstadt. That is what I quite liked about you, which is why I gifted you your vision.” he said nonchalantly. Bringing the cup close to his lips, he breathed in the scent of hot green tea.

Under normal circumstances, Noelle would have opened her eyes wide in shock at the revelation that the person in front of her was the Geo Archon. But whether it was the fact that they were meeting in a dream or not, she remained calm, accepting the situation easily.

Picking up her own cup, she followed Morax and breathed in the tea before drinking it. The warm taste of green tea penetrated her being and strangely put her in a calmer mood despite her misgivings.

While staring at the tea’s reflection, she found that the knots holding her complicated emotions tightly in a knot were slowly unwinding itself.

‘I don’t understand… Why is my life important if others may benefit from my actions, especially if Mondstadt finds itself in dire need of my assistance? As long as I am okay with it, is it not fine to continue the way it is?’ She pondered.

There was a moment of silence as Morax stirred his cup. He closed his eyes before lifting his arm. The air behind him shimmered before revealing the knights of Favonius headquarters.

In there, Jean and Kaeya were in a hushed discussion with each other. Jean’s face was furrowed with concern while Kaeya had his arms crossed but tried his best to comfort the acting grand master.

“She’s going to be fine Jean. The doctor said she will live, and that Noelle didn’t suffer from frostbite. Just need a few days rest and she’ll be back up ready to take on the world as always.” Kaeya reassured. He flashed her a charming smile but a corner of it twitched.

That didn’t escape Jean’s eyes and she just sighed with worry. She didn’t want to be acting like this but she had no one else to express her concerns to.

“She took on a reckless mission all by herself. What made her think that it was okay to do this without telling us?! Noelle barely had enough water and food as she went up into the mountains, and continued on even though her armor iced over after discovering the missing man.” She sighed.

Rubbing her face with both hands, Jean felt the stress building back up at the memory of Noelle nearly collapsing in front of Mondstadt gates. Jean had been making her rounds with Lisa when a guard yelled out in shock. Everyone had turned around to look expecting an attack, but found Noelle in the distance pushing herself to carry the man back through Mondstadt walls.

Everyone had ran to help her but it was as if Noelle couldn’t see them. Her eyes hazy and breathing haggard, she kept muttering that she’ll make sure that they both arrive home safe. For the man to hold on for his family. That it will be warm soon. She kept repeating those lines over and over, and those around her found it hard to make Noelle let go of the man on her back.

Kaeya suddenly stepped in and grasped Noelle by the shoulders before leaning in. “Welcome back. You did well Noelle, thank you for your services. Because of you, both you and Nimrod will live to see another day. Now let go of him, we will take care of the rest.” he said.

Transfixed on the voice speaking to her, Noelle lost grip of Nimrod and like a puppet with their strings cut, collapsed into his arms.

Jean felt thankful for Kaeya though she wondered how he knew that’d work.

The scene changed, and an image of Noelle unconscious on a patient bed appeared. Klee was looking concerned at how red Noelle was. Though red was her favorite color, she didn’t like it on Noelle like this.

Rummaging through her bag, Klee happily brought out a slightly crisp fish. She placed it on a plate that she brought out separately and left it on a counter before sitting up on the hospital chair.

“You need to get better so that we can go get some more fish together okay? Don’t tell master Jean, but I have the perfect spot to go to so that we can get a fresh meal! Fish is the just the best!” Klee exclaimed loudly.

There was no response from Noelle as Klee nestled her head onto the bed next to Noelle’s hand. Klee gently grasped the unconscious maid’s hand as she closed her eyes.

“Wake up soon so that we can together. I’ll even stay inside just for you, so that we can go together later. So please, wake up soon.” Klee whispered.

And with that the images from the past ended. Noelle stared stunned in silence. The Geo Archon had brought up a past incident and the reminder that she had worried people stung her conscience.

“You wish to charge in without rest and regard to your own life. As heroic as that may sound, it is not the way a knight should live.”

Morax set down his cup and looked into Noelle’s wavering eyes.

“Were it any of them marching through the dangerous winters of Dragonspine, would you also not fret for their lives?” he questioned. Noelle’s face flushed with guilt as she started understanding.

“Though there will always be situations where one puts their lives at risk for the safety of others, it is not ideal to completely disregard it.”

Bringing the cup to his lips once again, Morax sipped on the remainder of the tea.

“A knight is a citizen of their country. And what good country would want to needlessly throw away the lives of their citizens?”

Refilling his cup, Morax watched as Noelle looked down once again. A kind smile formed on his face.

“It is good to have the spirit of a knight, however, do not forget that you are a individual. Your life isn’t just yours once you build connections as well. There will be those that grieve for you, and those who will happily share their moments in life with you.”

He got up and stopped in front of Noelle. Reaching out, Morax patted her head tenderly like a father would with their daughter.

“Do take care to enjoy those moments yourself, and to share your times of suffering as well. Enjoy life, and you will shine like gold in the memories of both yourself and others.”

Closing his eyes he gave one last smile. “Now awaken and go home.”

Authors note:

Please like and subscribe! This is from my archiveofourown account as well https://archiveofourown.org/works/34323085

You can find more fanfics on my archive account as well, under HazelTiberiusLee. Have a nice one! <3

#genshin impact #zhongli #genshin fanfic #noelle #kaeya #klee #jean #morax #geo archon #daughter #father #lifepurpose #meaning of life #knight #knight of favonius #maid #heartwarming #fluff

[hazeltiberiuslee]

new video for tcf :>>> more pain tho. can’t say i didn’t warn ya esp with that song

[hazeltiberiuslee]

no one’s left to wipe it away for you.

[hazeltiberiuslee]

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

[hazeltiberiuslee]

*tcf spoilers*

Remember that time Lock couldn't transform anymore and hanged his head in front of Cale? When Cale apologized saying that he didn't mean to hurt him, that was the moment I knew Cale was a great person. Cause I ain't ever heard an adult in my family apologize for hurting me when I was in pain, with their 'good intentions'. He saw how hard it was for Lock, apologized and then proceeded to say that he didn't have to do anything since he was a child. That he would protect him, because that's what adults do. And he lived up to his word.

#tcf #trash of the count's family #spoilers #cale