I wander off in the world and I find her among flowers, paintings, poetries, sunsets, rain, the grey, espresso and the dead leaves on the ground
I confine myself from everything and I still find her presence inside my heart
I am all but chaotically doomed man who waits for a miracle
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The most pure smile. Staring into the motherhood.
That I see
The leaves have begun to grow orange and fall off those trees in my path
And the sun has left this pinkness in the sky
As the stars are hidden from those mild clouds
It has left this melancholy in my heart
And this sandness around the corner waiting for the dawn.
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A mistake?
The contradictions and morality binds me
Your arms and 'pretenders' warmth set me free
I feel as if the winds are gentle,
as the sun has grown more warm
I feel as if it's not autumn but your hands
Killing the parts of my soul to grow a new one
Just to fit in with your own broken piece
But what hurts me is that I'm not enough
To fill that void inside your soul
So it is not just autumn, it's not the season that is changing
It just just the fact that you're killing me
while keeping me alive
And I would kill myself before I admit that I love you more than myself
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Divine light getting through the leaves hit my face and the words that I was lost into,
And as the November was passing through, you could feel the winds getting colder,
I thought of little less but you holding my cold hands
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I find myself in poems
More than I find myself in people
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A beautiful mind
And a tragic reality
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It's rare to see your own heart clench for someone else
If it does. Let it be
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How many times I wanted to say something, it would feel like a knife was pointed from inside my throat.
And every single time I drank those words with my spit like I was trying to stop something as disgusting as my own vomit.
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And whenever I saw some walking in
I wished
I wailed inside my heart and wished
That it was you
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Tell me what it's like to burn for eternity
Denied child
Tell me what's it like to have light of eternity
O chosen one
- We live in the same house
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What I remember is..
That half my life I just bit my own tongue, and drank my own blood. Just so I could survive, just so I tried to see a light that didn't exist.
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Sometimes I don't know if I'm secluded or excluded
Sometimes I don't understand that is loneliness protecting me? Or just destroying me more than I already am.
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The bad thing about being and thinking deep as the bottomless ocean about everything is
That you start to think everyone feels as much as you
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And even when I'm trying to show myself to people
There's nothing but a paradox of complexities, negativity, pessimistic thoughts and broken pieces
I don't have anything better to show people.
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What are poets, if not bad swimmers drowning on land
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"and somewhere inside my mind, in a parallel universe
I ran towards you to hug you, and you fell apart in my arms
And you were actually happy to see me"
-not a bad nightmare..
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"and today I finally buried her,
with all the deleted texts and pictures"
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