sk1nny-bee

[sk1nny-bee]

I hate realizing that this is it. this is life. I only get one chance and I’m spending it crying over food, hurting myself and unable to get out of bed some days.

[sk1nny-bee]

i hate seeing pro-ana/mia scumbags tell impressionable children that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, because that lie (and a few others) really helped bring to life an eating disorder i still haven’t recovered from a decade later.

do you want to know how ‘skinny’ really feels?

‘skinny’ feels like going from captain of a sports team to someone who nearly faints so much that they become the only student in the school to be removed from PE class.

‘skinny’ feels like bombing all of your exams because you’re too hungry to think, and never actually managing to finish school.

‘skinny’ feels like dead eyes, dull hair, yellowed teeth and premature ageing. it feels like aching joints, a million bruises, and no resistance to heat or cold.

‘skinny’ feels like being too preoccupied with your body to enjoy your youth or even allow yourself to be photographed with the few remaining friends who can tolerate your spaciness and food freakouts.

‘skinny’ feels like endlessly waiting for the day when you’re finally light enough to be worthy of love, and weighing your current hunger against this vague point in the future that never comes, because even if you reach the weight you thought you needed to be it still won’t be enough.

‘skinny’ feels like being told you’re too bony to hug.

‘skinny’ feels like watching everyone else live happy, healthy lives while you can’t even do laundry without getting lightheaded, and wondering if you can undo any of the damage you caused by malnourishing yourself for years.

i thought that starving myself would somehow fix my life, but all it did was make things worse. i’m 25 years old and i haven’t really accomplished anything since i was 15. people my age are doing things like graduating from university, getting married, having children, and getting cool jobs, and i’m just trying to convince myself that it’s okay to eat more than 1000 calories a day.

don’t listen to the pro-anas. weighing less isn’t worth risking your future. please eat.

[sk1nny-bee]

i am a walking red flag ,,, and i don’t really mind

#dear diary

[sk1nny-bee]

does anyone have that master list on the ice blocks / ice cream calories??

#ana recipes #ed recipes #just ed shit #tw ed related #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #ed humor #tw eating things #i want to be skiny #ana #anamia #4norex1c #4n4m14 #4na tips #4n4 #4n4 tips

[sk1nny-bee]

i’ve binged so bad for the last few days but tomorrow is monday, new day, new week, im going to go back to eating around 400-500 cals a day… wish me luck

#just ed shit #tw ed related #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #ed humor #tw eating things #i want to be skiny #ed #tw eating mention #eating disoder thoughts #disordered eating tw #it's not as simple as just eating #4n4 #4norex1c #4na tips #4na #4n4m14 #anamia

[sk1nny-bee]

lol i just ate 4 bowls of pasta and 7 ice blocks; brb going to go kms

#just ed shit #tw ed related #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #ed humor #tw eating things #i want to be skiny #ed #ana #anamia #anarex1c #anareksic #low cal ana #anarecia #not pr0 ana #tw ed mention #tw eating mention #eating disoder thoughts

[sk1nny-bee]

psh not ME 💪💪😎

guess who might be getting admitted into hospital 😩😩😩😩

#just ed shit #tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention

[sk1nny-bee]

guess who might be getting admitted into hospital 😩😩😩😩

#just ed shit #tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention

[sk1nny-bee]

it’s 11:43pm and all i’ve had today is 450 cals and i feel like i’ve eaten way too much

#just ed shit #tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #ana #anamia #4n4m14 #4norex1c #4n4 #it's not as simple as just eating

[sk1nny-bee]

tw: sh

about half an hour ago i went to the bathroom, as one does, but my mum forgot her lighter [for cigarettes] on the sink, something inside of me told me to pick it up and so i did, i walked over to the toilet and sat down, flicked the lighter on, let it burn for about 5-8 seconds, flicked the lighter off, then rammed the burning hot tip of the lighter onto my thigh.

i can’t explain the sensation it gave me… it stung, oh god did it sting bad, i had to cover my mouth and shut my eyes and slam my foot on the ground but… it felt so fucking great, the intense heat from the burning hot metal on the lighter?? like fucking euphoria against my skin and in my head.

i have a history with self harming in many ways: cutting, bruising, punching myself, etc etc. but i’ve always been too scared to use a flame, but with this? i only just started tonight and i’m already addicted to the feeling it gives me

#just ed shit #tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #ana #anamia #4n4m14 #4norex1c #4na tips #self h4rm #self h@rm #lol help ?????

[sk1nny-bee]

um hello??!?! 2 weeks ago, my doctor weighed me and i was at 46kg [101lbs], and then in my appointment today my doctor weighed me again and i’m now at 42kg [92lbs] ??? and that was WITH JEANS, SHOES, AND A T-SHIRT ON!!!! this is so exciting omg!!! this has given me so much motivation AWLFJSLDKAKL i’m so happy ^-^

#tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #tw eating things #ana #anamia #not pr0 ana #it's not as simple as just eating #not pro just using tags #anareksic #anarecia

[sk1nny-bee]

[sk1nny-bee]

what are the pro’s & con’s of eating 400-500 cals a day?? *_*

#tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #tw eating things #ana #anamia #it's not as simple as just eating #anareksic #low cal ana #not pr0 ana

[sk1nny-bee]

skinny girls will have a starting weight of 100lbs and an ugw of 98 but invalidate overweight and obese ed sufferers who have lost 50lbs but still remain overweight or obese

if weight was truly a measure of an ed’s validity, then yours would be the least valid

but the fact is that it’s not. weight is not and never will be a measure of the extremity of someone’s illness. eds are mental illnesses, that often have physical consequences to the actions you carry out. but that doesn’t necessarily mean huge weight loss and/or being underweight is part of that.

to my overweight and obese ed sufferers: you are valid. your illness is valid, and it always will be. i see you, and i see your pain.

[sk1nny-bee]

because i’m losing weight, a big part of me wants to see how skinny i can get???? like how far can i push it?? almost like a competition between myself and the scale??? thinking of updating my UGW to 35kg [77lbs]

#tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #tw eating things #ana #anamia #all of these tags that are misspelled ways of ana are all hilarious #anareksic #low cal ana #anarecia

[sk1nny-bee]

a whole bunch of links for a bad day

distract yourself + positivity

2048

control the weather (flash warning)

spend bill gates’ money

read a book

write without distractions

snickerdoodle mug cakes

recipes for when you’re low on spoons

khan academy

an aggressive reminder

1000 awesome everyday things

bongo cat

useless websites

emergency compliments

a nice uquiz

more useless websites

sketch comedy

sculpt something

guess google searches

white noise

rain

customizable

coffee shop

thunderstorm + fireplace

rain on a tin roof

rain + traffic

train sounds

a fan

catharsis

scream into the void

cut your screen (trigger warning)

break glass

self-care

inexpensive self-care

small acts of self-care

develop a self-care plan

do nothing for two minutes

cope with:

common sleep problems (+solutions)

nightmares

stress

stress 2

are you stressed or depressed?

homework stress

an eating disorder

things to do instead of harming yourself

trauma

anger

worrying

grief

a breakup

the suicide of a loved one

bullying

is this relationship harmful?

sexual assault

obsessive-compulsive disorder

obsessive-compulsive disorder 2

suicidal thoughts

help

a whole bunch of hotlines

more hotlines

suicide hotlines

talk to someone

active positivity blogs

@positivityreblogs

@positivitie

@recoverystuff

@survivor-positivity

@ocdiscourse

@positivelypastelpink

@positiveautistic

@mental–healthawareness

@slfcare

@traumasurvivors

@softheartedsuggestion

remember:

drink some water

eat something if you haven’t in a while

take a break

sleep if you need to

you’re doing amazing i love you

[sk1nny-bee]

lol so … I got diagnosed with severe depression lololololol and the doctor said i need to get a psychiatrist ASAP on top of regular doctors appointments AND weekly psychologist appointments *_* lol

#tw ed related #skip dinner get thinner #anarex1c #anorekic #tw ed thoughts #eating disoder thoughts #ed humor #disordered eating tw #tw eating mention #tw eating things #tw #tw vent