#élite s1 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theonevoice · 8 months

Text

Rumination n. 4 – On Aziraphale, sacrifice and guilt (another bold hypothetical)

I feel like we've been almost only considering the tragedy of the Fall from Crowley's point of view (it's obvious why), but I would really like if in s3 we get to see the battle before the Fall (the big missing event between what we have seen in the s1 and s2 prologues) and learn something about how Aziraphale experienced that moment. So I started wondering what kind of situation would be in character for the two man-shaped entities we know, being at the same time relevant enough to deserve to occupy a prologue (that is, to open our collective third eye about some new underlayer of this millennia-long cursed relationship). And then, one specific thought popped into my empty brain, and I went down a rabbit hole.

One aspect of Aziraphale character that I have never seen discussed per se is his attachment to his identity as an angel. There is plenty of wonderfully insightful takes about how this attachment influences his behaviour (to Crowley and in general), but why is he so attached in the first place? What if there is something other than fear of punishment in his oh so painful obsession with preserving his angelic status? What makes it so precious to him? If Gabriel so readily dropped his role of Supreme Archangel to be with Beelzebub, why is Aziraphale so obsessed? Is it really only a weird metaphore for "class struggle", reminding us that powerful élites get to do whatever they want while the little people must abide by even the stupidest rules?

What if Aziraphale's rank of principality is particularly dear to him for a personal reason? We know that angels get promoted or demoted and not created with a fixed role. What if he earned his during the great war of Heaven? But would the Aziraphale we know be the kind of "soldier" able to win a title in battle?

I think it is not entirely absurd to imagine that Aziraphale didn't want to go to battle at all and was forced to by other angels. That coul explain why in s1 he is, for once, so strong and determined when he tells the Quartermaster angel that he has "no intention of fighting in any war". Consider how remissive he tends to be with other angelic entities throughout the series: he is uncharacteristicly resolute here. It almost looks like he was setting a non-negotiable boundary here.

Maybe Crowley is not the only one traumatized by what happened. Maybe after being forced to go into war, Aziraphale also experienced something terrible, a moment that scarred him forever. What could that be? Here it comes another bold hypothetical.

Maby he and soon-to-be Crowley run into each other and realize they both don't want to fight. Maybe they are on the verge of developing the unfathomable thought of running away together from the battlefield. Maybe they almost try but keep getting separated by crushing waves of opposite legions. Maybe they finally manage to step away from the thick of the fight, but other angels surround them before they can even discuss what to do next. Maybe Crowley is struck by the unbearable cruelty and absurdity of what is going on and decides to protect the only pure, gentle, and actually good angel he knows from harm. So maybe he pretends that Aziraphale just captured him and let them take him away and put him with the other defeated angels. And for his achievement Aziraphale earns a promotion to principality that will forever remind him of that horrific moment, of how he could not find the courage to tell the truth and say something in Crowley's defense.

Maybe this is why he is so obsessively attached to his place in Heaven, because someone he loved sacrificed himself in order to preserve it for him. Maybe this is why he is so fixated on the unspeakable desire to bring Crowley back to Heaven, not just as a compensation for a generic cosmic injustice but as atonement for his own fault.

Maybe this is his side of the trauma.

Maybe this is why, whenever he is in a state of emotional pressure, he tends to fall back on his black and white, "you are the bad guys, we are the nice ones" pattern of behavior. Because actual - clinical - trauma prompts the traumatize mind to deploy self-defense strategies, and if I can convince myself that you were evil all along, then I am not guilty of letting them catch you.

(I still believe it would be interesting if Crowley actually "didn't really fall," but he willingly chose to leave Heaven - but I've already rambled on about it long enough here, and the two scenarios could even be compatible if my math is correct).

Maybe this is also why, when dispatched on Earth, he does so poor of a job (by Heaven's standards, of course). Because trauma also causes self-sabotaging behaviours leaning on the deep unconscious belief that you don't deserve to succeed and never will. How could you ever deserve to succeed if the accomplishment that gave you your very rank of principality - the word that defines who you are in Heaven's books - was a lie?

Maybe this is what makes the dialogue at the end of the Job minisode - and all the other bits of dialogue that he have on the same topic - so dramatic and tragic: Aziraphale needs to convince himself that he is worthy of the sacrifice that preserved his angelic status, and finding himself lacking in that department would activate the most devastating guilt. And even more he needs to convince Crowley of it, to prove to him (even if he probably doesn't remember it) that he didn't sacrifice himself for a fraud. He doesn't need to be an angel because he likes it, but because it was the identity that the angel who hung the stars bought him with his damnation.

Maybe this is why he shows such a pathological conduct about forgiveness and forgiving. Because under all the many, many layers of denial he believes that he is the one that has to be forgiven, but doesn't know how to ask for it, being afraid that he could be, in fact, unforgivable.

It is entirely unsupported speculation, of course, but imagine what it would mean if Aziraphale angelic identity was "stained" by such a gigantic deception, his "original sin," and he spent 6000 years in full impostor syndrome mode, repressing the thought of his unworthiness. Not out of fear of Heaven but out of fear of being a disappointment to the angel that Crowley was once (and that demon Crowley constantly reminds him of). Maybe Aziraphale has spent his entire existence telling himself that he had the duty to repay this enormous, secret debt by being the most irreprehensible angel ever, only to have this plan thwarted by the tempting presence of none other than Crowley himself. The most cruel temptation of all. Imagine being torn between the joy of misbehaving with the entity you love and the duty to be irreproachable, not for Heaven, but for the unspoken obligation that (you believe) this same entity put on you a long time ago.

It would mean that Aziraphale's struggle is not between his love for Crowley and his allegiance to Heaven, but between his love for Crowley and his obligation to (past) him. It would be not "I cannot love you because I am afraid of losing my place in Heaven," but "I cannot love you because if I lose my place in Heaven, I will have wasted your sacrifice and failed you again." It would be the tragedy of renouncing the happiness of being together with the person you love because you convinced yourself that that same person, when he saved your place in Heaven, implicitly gave you a mission that denies that happiness. "I cannot love you because if I do, I will betray you in the worst possible and most unforgivable way." "I cannot love you because you wanted me to be a good angel, and good angels don't allow themselves to love demons." "I cannot love you because you chained me to the duty not to." It would be tragic in the "classical tragedy" meaning of the word, like in Antigone by Sophocles (that Aziraphale actually namedrops in the 1941 flashback), where the main character is torn between two conflicting moral laws and cannot move without infringing on one of the two. But with the extra pain of having both laws coming from the same person and the person in question actively trying to pull you away from that (self-)imposed lawfulness in the meantime.

Honestly, by this point this is more a fanfiction than a speculation, but it would give us an explanation for why Aziraphale decided to take the Metatron's offer specifically after Crowley's reaction to the opportunity of being an angel again (when he leaves the Metatron, he tells him "you don't have to answer immediately. Take all the time you need", which means that he didn't say no, but he also didn't say yes). In this scenario, he is so excited for the prospect of restoring Crowley to his angelic status because he still pins his Fall on himself. The idea makes him so happy not because he wants to be together in Heaven (it's hard to imagine that he wants to go live there or doesn't know that Crowley is not interested) but because this would extinguish his imaginary debt and allow him to leave the cage where he held himself hostage for 6000 years. The cage that prevented him from getting to close to a demon. With Crowley restored as angel, Aziraphale would be "off the hook," and they could finally "go off together." He would not feel chained to his heavenly rank anymore. It's not "come back to Heaven so I will not be trouble by our love," it's "come back to Heaven so you I will be relieved of the duty of being worthy of my rank and be free to be the kind of questionable angel that can love a demon."

It's only when Crowley refuses to go back - and only then - that Aziraphale feels definitely compelled to take the role of Supreme Archangel. If his moral duty to be a worthy angel cannot be erased, it must be paid entirely. And the payment is sticking with the responsibility that he thinks Crowley gave him, to live up to his rank of principality, to do good and, even better, to "make a difference," which, in his mind, would be the ultimate way to honour that never forgotten sacrifice, sacrificing himself in return.

#good omens #go2 #good omens 2 #good omens thoughts #go 2 speculation #go2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #coping with grief #good omens theory

20 notes · View notes

spiderlingh · 2 years

Text

CONTROL Z S3 (SHORT) REVIEW

includes spoilers !

and if you haven’t watched or finished the show, you should. highly recommend.

———

alright so

s1 and s2 were better not gonna lie here

i didn’t see it coming that javier’s dad cleaned up the mess and moved the body. nice twist in my opinion

this season was a bit too messy. even if it was still a well done mystery

i missed the chemistry scenes we used to get back in the first two seasons… like between javi and nati but especially raul and sofi

i don’t know i guess i was expecting this last season to be a bit more spicy. it just wasn’t. season 2 really had that going good tho.

bro maria committed suicide ???

which no one really seemed to care about that much i’m so sorry but that could’ve been handled much better

still do not condone gerry’s actions of course but seeing his transformation between seasons 1 and 3 was fantastic and i’m happy he got that development

maybe this season would’ve been a bit better if they spread it out more. maybe 10 episodes instead of 8, including some scenes based on the (different) relationships between the characters? idk just a thought

i am so sorry i have disliked javier since season 1 and i still do

but oh well

so i’m not good at predicting endings at all. but like i genuinely thought netflix was gonna make javier end up with sofi in the end — like every time raul fucked up she’d go back to him and shit so i just really expected them to be endgame

AND THEY WERENT YESSSS

raul and sofi have always had more chemistry and i am beyond glad they ended up together. for real

the idea my man was behind everything just to get her back… fuck it, i love it.

maybe i’ll add more later but this was it for now. i’m sad the show has come to an end but it’s for the best, it would just get worse if they continued it, it’d only get dragged out just like they’re doing with élite right now.

the story is closed, everything has come to the surface and i’m happy with the ending so <3

hats off to the people who worked on this show. it was a pleasure to watch and definitely gonna rewatch it sometime in the future. loved this it so much.

#control z spoilers #control z s3 #raul leon #sofia x raul #yankel stevan #ana valeria becerril #netflix #control z netflix #javier wiliams #natialia alexander #sofia herrera #control z

102 notes · View notes

otg2012 · 2 years

Photo

Somebody asked me about my favorite BL series and I wanted to make a list but then I thought it’d be more useful to make a list of series I recommend with LGTBIQ+ characters because in some cases they aren’t one of the main characters, or their love story/story happens just in one of the seasons or in individual episodes. If you want more details about any show or you just have any questions, you can always ask me in the chat where I’ll be happy to answer.

I had some doubts about including certain Asian series but I finally decided to add them if I have given them at least 7 out of 10 stars on MyDramaList because even if they could be improved, I think they still have some enjoyable elements and they are worth checking out.

The shows are ordered chronologically and by nationality. I know there are many more shows but I haven’t included anything I’ve not seen (at least 1 season or enough chapters to have an opinion) and obviously, I’ve omitted those with less than 7 stars.

Since these are all shows that I recommend, I decided to make a list of my favorite series at the end as well as I was asked. I tried to make it a top 20 but it was impossible.

I’ll edit this post when I have more series to add or if I’ve forgotten any.

It’s also on AO3. EDIT: Updated on AO3 > 12.8.2022 / Posted; 31.7.2022

From USA:

My So-Called Life (1994)

Party of Five (1994-2000)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

Dawson's Creek (1998-2003)

Will & Grace (S1-8:1998-2006 + S9-11: 2017- 2020)

Queer as Folk (US) (1999-2005) (Edit: I have watched the UK version and I don't like It at all)

Six Feet Under (2001-2005)

The Wire (2002-2008)

Cold Case (2003-2010)

Desperate Housewives (2004-2012)

The Closer (2005-2012)

Ugly Betty (2006-2010)

Brothers and Sisters (2006-2011)

The L Word (2004-2009) + The L Word: Generation Q (2019-2021) (*I’ve watched S1/2019)

The Closer (2005-2012)

True Blood (2008-2014)

Kings (2009)

Southland (2009-2013)

Glee (2009-2015)

The Good Wife (2009-2016)

Spartacus (2010-2013)

Parenthood (2010-2015)

Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Teen Wolf (2011-2017) + Teen Wolf: The Movie (Coming in 2022)

Partners (2012)

Political Animals (2012)

The New Normal (2012-2013)

Major Crimes (2012-2018)

Nashville (2012-2018)

Scandal (2012-2018)

The Originals (2013-2018)

The Fosters (2013-2018)

Looking (2014-2015) + Looking: The Movie (2016)

Black Sails (2014-2017)

The 100 (2014-2020)

Sense8 (2015-2018) (I’ve just seen S1)

Grace and Frankie (2015-2022) (I’ve watched S1-2)

Eyewitness (US) (2016)

Shadowhunters (2016-2019)

Star Trek: Discovery (2017-...) (I’ve watched S1-2)

Pose (2018-2021) (I’ve watched S1-2)

Killing Eve (2018-2022) (I’ve watched S1-2)

The Red Line (2019)

The Politician (2019-...)

The Umbrella Academy (2019-...) (I’ve watched S1-2)

Doom Patrol (2019-...) (I‘ve watched parts of S1)

Hollywood (2020)

Love, Victor (2020-2022) (I’ve watched S1)

Roswell, New Mexico (2019-2022) (I’ve watched S1-2)

Canada:

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009) (From Canada, UK & USA)

Stargate Universe / SGU (2009-2011) (From Canada & USA)

Versailles (2015-2018) (From Canada, France, UK & USA)

Killjoys (2015-2019) (From Canada & USA) (I’ve seen S1)

Schitt's Creek (2015-2020)

Spain:

Al salir de clase (1997-2002)

Física o Química / Physics or Chemistry (2008-2011)

Vis a vis (2015-2019) (I’ve watched S1)

Merlí (2015-2018) (I’ve watched part of S1)

El ministerio del tiempo / The Ministry of Time (2015-2020).

Paquita Salas (2016-2019)

Toy Boy (2020-2022) (I’ve watched S1)

La casa de papel / Money Heist (2017-2021)

Élite (2018-...) (I’ve watched S1-4 and I don’t recommend S4)

Veneno (2020)

Sweden:

Young Royals (2021-...) (S1-2)

Norway:

Skam (2015-2017) (I’ve watched just the gay storyline of 1 season)

United Kingdom:

Torchwood (2006-2011)

Downton Abbey (2010-2015)

London Spy (2015)

Butterfly (2018)

A Very English Scandal (2018)

Years and Years (2019)

Gentleman Jack (2019-2022) (I’ve watched S1)

Heartstopper (2022-...) (S1)

Taiwan:

HIStory2: Right or Wrong (2018)

HIStory3: Trapped (2019)

We Best Love: No. 1 For You (2021) + Fighting Mr. 2nd (2021)

Papa & Daddy (2021-2022) (S1-2)

DNA Says Love You (2022)

Korea:

Mr. Heart (2020)

Where Your Eyes Linger (2020)

Wish You: Your Melody From My Heart (2020)

Color Rush: S1 (2020) + 2 (2022)

To My Star: S1 (2021) / TMS (Movie) (2021) + To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories (2022)

Light On Me (2021)

You Make Me Dance (2021)

My Sweet Dear (2021)

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (2021)

Tinted With You (2021)

The Tasty Florida (2021)

Semantic Error (2022-...) (+ The Movie is coming in August 2022) (S1)

Blueming (2022-...) (S1)

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (2022)

First Love Again (2022)

Kissable Lips (2022)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (2022)

Oh! My Assistant (2022)

Choco Milk Shake (2022)

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (2022-23) (Still airing)

The New Employee (2022-23) (Still airing)

Japan:

Life: Senjou no Bokura (2020)

Cherry Magic (2020)

Kieta Hatsukoi (2021)

Given (2021)

Utsukushii Kare (2021)

Gunjo Ryoiki (2021)

Old Fashion Cupcake (2022)

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (2022)

Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! (2022)

Eien no Kino - Eternal Yesterday (2022)

Thailand:

Until We Meet Again (2019)

Theory of Love (2019)

TharnType: S1 (2019) + TharnType 2: 7 Years Of Love (2020)

I Told Sunset About You (2020) + I Promised You the Moon (2021)

Why R U? (2020)

Lovely Writer (2021)

Not Me (2021)

Call It What You Want (2021) (There is a season 2 but I don’t recommend it)

A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021)

Bad Buddy (2021)

Star and Sky: Star in My Mind (2022)

Secret Crush On You (2022)

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (2022)

The Tuxedo (2022)

Cutie Pie (2022)

Triage (2022)

KinnPorche (2022)

The Eclipse (2022)

My Secret Love (2022)

Never Let Me Go (2022-2023) (Still airing)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

MY FAVORITE (so far 02/01/2023):

My So-Called Life (1994)

Queer as Folk (US) (1999-2005)

Brothers and Sisters (2006-2011)

Kings (2009)

Teen Wolf (2011-2017) + Teen Wolf The Movie (Coming in 2022)

Black Sails (2014-2017)

Eyewitness (US) (2016)

Shadowhunters (2016-2019)

The Red Line (2019)

Until We Meet Again (2019)

HIStory3: Trapped (2019)

TharnType: S1 (2019) & TharnType 2: 7 Years Of Love (2020)

Color Rush: S1 (2020) & 2 (2022)

Cherry Magic (2020)

To My Star: S1 (2021) & To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories (2022)

We Best Love: No. 1 For You (2021) & Fighting Mr. 2nd (2021)

Lovely Writer (2021)

Kieta Hatsukoi (2021)

Light On Me (2021)

Gunjo Ryoiki (2021)

Not Me (2021)

Semantic Error (2022)

Young Royals (2021-...)

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (2022)

DNA Says Love You (2022)

Cutie Pie (2022)

Star and Sky: Star in My Mind (2022)

Triage (2022)

KinnPorche (2022)

Not Me (2021-22)

Posted on 31.7.2022 - Updated 02/01/2013

#semantic error #kinnporsche #to my star #cutie pie #black sails #bl series rec list

28 notes · View notes