#‘NOW IM JUST SO TERRIBLY SAD’

[yuuta-okkotsuu]

HI OFFICIAL TRANSLATIONS HAVE ME GOING EQUALLY INSANE

#‘NOW IM JUST SO TERRIBLY SAD’ #i am emotionally compromised #these stupid little french twinks live inside of my brain rent free #i love both this and fan translations for different reasons #rimlaine #bsd paul verlaine #bsd verlaine #bsd rimbaud #paul verlaine #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd stormbringer #bsd spoilers #bungo stray dogs spoilers

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

heyyyy who wants some lowish-resolution Lights Out angst scribbles before i go sleep!!!

(gonna put this under the cut bc im not sure if it can be considered spoiler-y or not? does this au even Have spoilers if there's no shared cohesive plot yet? who knows! i'm doing this impulsively i don't know what i'm doing ever! ! i like drawing characters in distress and anguish! thank you!)

#also if i dont share them now i just Know i never will #i like scribbling distress but Especially when its barnaby. he has the face for it. sad puppy <3 #i mostly scribble these to help myself Think and Visualize #who knows! in a week some or all of them could be rendered non-au-canon by Evolving Ideas #scribble salad #wh lights out au #the last wally one is probably my favorite of the bunch #i like making myself sad by playing the Scene its from in my head <3 #wail in anguish puppet boy... wail and sob.... #going back to my roots with these babeyyyyyy #kind of. mildly. #its been too fluffy on this blog #i need to remember where im from... what im about... Who I Am.... #also 'why is wally so small' bc all of the puppets are there physical sizes #also im Terrible at scribbling consistent size differences <3 #i will Always overcompensate <3 #anyway this au is called lights out aka I Torment Barnaby On An Intensely Emotional Level #what can i say? i have cuteness aggression <3

[cometrose]

and haein just outright said i love you to hyunwoo god damn my soul cracked a bit

#queen of tears #if she dies... #i don't know #i love that hw starts threatening her #if you die im going to become a sad lonely terrible man #haein don't die not now #honestly i feel like im pretty good at predicting dramas ive watched so many but at times like this #im not sure my optimism is interfering with my media analysis #i want to believe she will live so she will live #that is how it will go #also i lowkey feel like the team recorded two endings and will just chose the one that will make fans satisfied

[hella1975]

your sokka is SO sokka and i say this as someone who holds him so dear ur writing of him is amazing. tbh im sooo fussy with his portrayal but its pretty nailed. like so many fics (esp zukka and zuko centric and ESPECIALLY ones where hakoda like adopts zuko) he's constantly pushed to the side in favour of zukos issues and zukos problems when in reality sokka is very hurt himself and has suffered a lot. man i GET taob sokka i really do bc people seem to think he was a lil mean but nobody seems to realise when you're in sokkas position it would've read like everyone was against you. all the swt men, including his dad who snapped at him, and even katara and aang and suki tell him to give zuko a chance and the fact that they were trusting someone who had hurt all of them so much- because yes WE know zuko wouldn't have killed them, but the gaang didn't. not when they were being chased and terrorised, and when sokka had his trust betrayed in the prison, he had absolutely every right to hate zuko, esp when it felt like everyone who he thought would understand his feelings, including his own dad who had been hiding his relationship with zuko from him, seems against him. his conversation with hakoda was probably my favourite scene in taob just bc he was allowed to feel like that without being treated by the narrative as someone just being mean to poor little zuko. he gets to be a sourpuss and angry and jealous at zuko for feeling like hed been replaced by his own dad. all of the water tribe men get this treatment like they're not written as bad people for being wary or disliking zuko initially (even chena despite being enemy no.1 at the start). his convo with hakoda was so important bc it stressed the detail that yes zuko has suffered and deserves to be cared for but SOKKA is his son, his actual child who is so hard on himself for things out of his control and who has hurt so much and deserves just as much as zuko does. sokka is just a baby my boy. he's not the main character but he's just as complex and intricate as zuko, not just in taob but also for the times we have seen him in tams there's been keen detail to his emotion and how he's feeling pointed out

me rn

#BESTIEEEEEEEEE YOU GET IT <333 #like ik the atla fandom including unfortunately some taob locals are generally AWFUL with sokka when zuko is involved #but it really was only a handful of taob readers esp in the grand scheme and i do want to clarify that #but now we're on the same page. OH MY GOD WHEN I SAY I WANTED TO PHYSICALLY FIGHT SOME PEOPLE #JUST THE SHAMELESS FAVOURITISM??? THE EXPECTATION THAT I TREAT A CHARACTER AS SOMETHING NOT-HUMAN BC THEY HAPPEN TO BE MEAN TO THEIR FAVE?? #like idc if zuko means a lot to you!! idc if it's sad seeing people be mean to him bc you relate to him so much!! #id be a terrible writer if i treated the other characters as planets in zuko's orbit. THEY dont know they're in his story #and sokka is a fucking sixteen year old. like come on i get mad when people do the same with chena being a dick to zuko #but at least he's a grown man. sokka is a TEENAGER. even if he was being irrational that would be completely fair #bc teenagers ARE FAMOUSLOY IRRATIONAL!?!?!?! GO OUTSIDE??!?!?!!? #anyway. im so normal about this topic and hold noooo grudges not any haha #remembering when someone commeted saying me personally as a real life person i was insidious and evil for insinuating #that adopted children arent worth as much as biological children and i should NEVER adopt bc im clearly the Worst #when that is not only an insane thing to say to a stranger on the internet but also. not what happened #hakoda never adopted zuko. that's a joke made in fandom. jokes are when people say untrue things for comedic affect #adoption is an actual official process of willingly and actively bringing a child into your family #NOT taking some teenage symbol of your culture's oppression as a prisoner and unwillingly growing attached #and now he's someone you're fond of and feel protective over as is natural of an adult towards a hurting child #but your actual son feels replaced and it's especially cutting bc of aforementioned symbol of your culture's oppression #and also this specific kid was a dick to him. like as a pretty notable part of his character he was a dick to him #so you reassure him bc that is your actual real life son. yeah? #are we on the same page? are we good? please i dont know how much more i can take- #taob asks #ask

[jessiesjaded]

random picture dump :)

#cat update: theyre good #clancy update: he just ate roast chicken so hes also good #jess update: Im good #im happier rn than anytime since 2020 i think #still up and down but way less up and down- if that makes sense? #its nice its good- its autumn now and i always look forward to winter #suffice to say: i hope you guys are well too #i saw in an email i have messages on discord but last time i attempted to log in it wouldnt allow me so... if you msged there and i never #responded its bc i cant get in to respond and tbh #i think discord was maybe terrible for my mental health #which is a little sad bc that was the main way i talked to people but also... idk #jury is currently out on that front we'll see maybe i'll download it again #but regardless i miss you but im well and i hope youre well and i hope one day coming back wont feel so daunting #relationships are hard arent they? i hate things changing and ending more than anything else in the world #side effect of my dad dying when i was little i think #but the main thing thats been making me feel guilty and uneasy lately is feeling guilt about disappearing from people so again! #im trying and we'll see ! #yeah :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany. #and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

[frecklystars]

i know nobody is online rn to read this but ;-; i gotta get it off my chest i love ken so much he means everything to me he's making me so happy and i've needed him so so so bad. he's brought me comfort when my ptsd has been so fucking unbearable and every time i'm having a crying fit over losing my tf f/os or every time i'm having a flashback i ALWAYS immediately IMMEDIATELY think about him rushing to my side, holding me and saying "hey hey it's okay, i'm here, i'm right here" and it's such a relief because i haven't been able to genuinely wholeheartedly believe any character would be willing to do that for me the entire time i've been struggling this year.

i've never gone so long without comfort from f/os, much less being triggered by the ones who used to comfort me the most. so to have barbie and ken right now is like the biggest wave of relief every single day when i wake up and the hyperfixation is still there. sometimes i will literally close my eyes and sigh in relief when i hear a song and my first thought is sebastian or ken or six or... whomever. i love being in love again. i NEED this. i love waking up and my first thought isn't my trauma most of the time now, it's ken. or it's six. or it's barbie. or it's harley. or it's officer k. or it's... yeah you get it. i needed these characters so fucking badly. every time i see a gifset and get excited over it, i feel a rush of gratitude bc self shipping has always been the glue holding me together. it doesn't feel as intense or strong as the SB musical or TF used to make me feel but i am not picky. not at all. i will take anything and i'm praying this lasts for at LEAST another few weeks please

i may not be at a sense of peace right now and i dont know when i ever will be, it could be years, but im so. so. so. so so so thankful to have these characters right now when i've needed someone so badly for so long. i hope ken knows how much i love him ;-; i hope barbie knows how much she has helped me, has saved me from one of my major triggers and has helped me to love and feel safe around the color pink again. i wish they could see me when i'm not so broken but i'm glad they're here even when i'm at my worst, i'm glad they still love me even when they deserve to see me in a much better light

#it feels so fucking terrible not celebrating my bday with my starlight. i used to buy myself cakes and put his figurine next to them #i mean i still have... a little bit over one week... i cant... let it pass by without him being involved somehow #so i might make a quick vent doodle and queue it for the actual day of my bday #i refuse to not draw myself with him at least once for my special day #its not like we 'broke up' or anything but fuck it feels so bad #he's a literal fucking ptsd trigger. how fucking insane is that #im still in shock. im still in shock over what happened to me like i cant fucking believe it #wearing his necklace makes me cry so i just leave it on my dresser #that shouldnt be normal!!!! #but im hoping that shipping with barbie/ken is going to help me feel like i can reclaim control over my ships #bc my abuser made me feel like... i had no control over my TF ships whatsoever for a solid year #so now that i'm finally free of that toxicity i'm still shakily trying to learn how to ship again #i'll have moments where i'll worry ken will try to hurt me on purpose bc im so used to my abuser telling me how abusive any f/o would be #but then i tell myself 'hey what the fuck. this is MY story. NOBODY would abuse me i dont care WHO they are' #but it's so hard to unlearn several months of abuse 😔 #and even harder to look at a character who i invested so much time and energy and money into #my voice clips. my cameos. all of my steve blum autographs. my art for steve. all of it feels sad and numbing #not just stsc but everyone in any TF universe feels like... a threat and i get panic attacks when i see very specific characters sometimes #its awful. it hurts so bad. i love ken so much. but nothing compares to what i had with my TF comfort characters #but it's okay bc... ken is holding my hand and he might not understand ptsd at all but he can still squeeze me tight #and six HAS c-ptsd he GETS it. and he's there to hold me when my nightmares make me fall apart. he's my rock #vent #ptsd #sorry it's 5am i had a bad nightmare and now i refuse to sleep again #i fucking hate ptsd i fucking hate living like this i rly wish i knew how to cure myself #im exercising im eating and drinking often im sleeping as much as i can #theres only so much i can do #when does it get better?? when the fuck does it get better? im serious. not rhetorical. when does this finally heal #i dont even know if im healing or if im just distracted... but fuck ill take anything

[bunnihearted]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[erikatsu]

my biggest flaw is suppressing my feelings for the sake of others

#like. i had so many faves or potential faves that i just casted aside for the sake of other people #whwn i should not have to #and now im really sad and emotional ab it all 🥹 #because theres fos i terribly miss but i dont say anything #there are characters i never gave a chance bc someone else expressed their interest first #and i just. i need to stop that. im done with it. #tbd #i just needed to let it out

[iamthekarmapolice]

where i'm mentally at most days by 4:30 pm:

#i start the day full of optimism and motivation - like yeah there will be challenges but i can face them! #the doubts creep in at around 11am ('but you'll feel so sad? then what?' #by 3pm im convinced that this is a terrible mistake and will ruin my life and im crazy for doing this #and by 4pm i get philosophical #its now 4:45 so by 5:30 i'll somehow gather the self control to climb out of the anxiety spiral and distract myself #thereby ensuring that im nice and refreshed tomorrow for the cycle to begin anew #why is change inevitable by the way? why do i have to grow as a person? why do people not just stay the same forever?

[pathologising]

I am not idolizing someone to the point that it is "soul crushing" when it is found out that they're not a good person I have to be honest that cannot be normal

#just saw something abt that cryaotic creep like first of all why are we focusing on how terrible it is for you and not the victim #everyone in the comments was like 'but he was my childhood im so sad now' can we please focus on the survivors and not like....your weird #parasociality lolllllllll people are strange man

[carter-is-a-disaster]

Decided to post some of the critical role sketches i did this year.

Fcg/ Nott, Caleb and Jester hug/ a pokemon meme from bell's hells fight with Lady Emoth from the beginning of campaign 3/ Beau/ Laudna and Imogen/ an Ashton drawing i'm never gonna finish/ a scene with Beau and Caleb from early campaign 2/ a greystorm kiss doodle i did for a friend

#critical role #critical role campaign 2 #critical role campaign 3 #critical role fanart #the mighty nein #bells hells #i just realised there's no one from vox machina in this post and now im sad cause i haven't drawn them in a while #drawing ashton's head is very hard #that's why i gave up on this drawing #imogen and laudna are gay for each other and no one can tell me otherwise #imodna #also i love beau and caleb's friendship so much #please ignore my terrible attempt to take photos of the sketches from my sketchbook

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[hella1975]

#tams plot outline: so the siblings are travelling again and they travel with some refugees for a bit. that’s it that’s all I’ve got down #me: okay… just make some OCs for it no biggie…. it’s just i think im going to flesh them out for no reason and get attached #and then get upset that the ‘showing the reality of war typically through the unjust treatment of helpless civilians’ fic #goes on to treat the civilians unjustly #like it’s just so SAD why did I put so much life into them just to have them be treated terribly #i have got so ridiculously attached in the TWENTY MINUTES they’ve existed as a concept #like not even written them yet #and now I’m getting upset for them and their injustice #and YEAH that’s sort of the point of tams and shows me im doing something right #but also OWWWWWWW #the dancing scene. that’s it #in my defence of the next tams chapter I’ve been listening to american pie on loop while hashing it out #it was always going to be heartbreaking. blame don mclean #twice as many stars

[puppyeared]

child of divorce moment

#just finished the shadow play episode. you alrready know where im going with this #i like how macaque was like yeah i was gonna torment you emotionally but youre already doing that lmao #its like when i was on call with my brother and cousin and our cousin was like 'im gonna steal your diamonds >:)' #andthen theres a pause and hes like 'wait wheres youre diamonds' 'dude we dont have any' and he was like 'damn thats sad. do you want some #DUDE LITERALLY BREAKSINTO OUR HOUSE FOR DIAMONDS AND HES LIKE DAMN BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS? HERE #i really like how this ep makes it clear that macaque doesnt actually have a beef with MK and its really a beef by extension bc hes with #wukong lol. literally tells him hes a good kid and doesnt pretend to have a beef with him just because #doesnt stop him from using mk like he did in the first ep he appeared in which i cant remember the name of. but its there #maybe im reading into this too much but idk. does this say something about his morals like how he didnt go further with tormenting mk when #mk basically spilled everything to him? like he absolutely could have done it so?? this fucking show man #ALSO he might be right about mk just having a terrible teacher because he knows firsthand as a former friend of swk. so there are some part #that mk might not know of based on stories or what swk has shown to him. especially since hes supposed to be someone mk looks up to #this feels very obvious now that i said all that and something the show is probably trying to show me anyway i know #yapping #lmk

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube