y’all already know this by now, but this is an official post to say i’m on semi-hiatus/hiatus for the time being. i might decide on an official day to come back later to help get me back into the spirit of being here, or i may pop in occasionally if i’m bitten by the writing bug; regardless, i just need a good, zero-pressure break to rest and handle the internal and external issues happening in my life. i could ramble about it, but i won’t this time :’ )
all that said, you can message me on discord at ‘ waitforspring. ’ and that’s with the period! i still wanna keep in contact, and i might even feel up to writing a few, little things on discord, too. just keep in mind that i may be slow to respond at times — i’m known to be a snail, and i don’t think that’ll ever change asdfg
i miss y’all, and i want you to know that whether it’s a day or a month or a year, you deserve to rest. you deserve to take time for yourself. you deserve to focus on different parts of your life, and you deserve to use your time how you want. remember that, and please take care of yourselves, friends 💜
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“Oof-” Ava slammed straight into the grass, sending plumes of dust up in her wake. Her muscles ached in protest as she dragged herself off the ground. Nope, not as young as she used to be. Reya’s realm had felt like centuries. To her, it literally had been, slowly aging her as she fought God herself to go back. What didn’t make sense though was Michael. Maybe he’d just taken the term “growth spurt” a bit too literally and just ran headfirst into adulthood. Nevermind that. Ava shook herself off, a jumble of emotions climbing up her throat at the sight of Cat’s Cradle. She was almost home.
The sisters were nice, but wholly unfamiliar. No Cam, no Lilith, not even Mother. And definitely no Bea. A trill of joy ran up her spine – maybe Bea had listened, and actually went to live her life. A spike of fear wedged even deeper at the same time – what if Bea didn’t want her in her life anymore? What if she had gone and done all these amazing things while Ava was stuck in another realm. What if Bea had outgrown her, like plenty of roommates had before, being adopted out or leaving for school and bigger things than Ava and witty banter.
She still had to try. Beatrice had left almost nothing. No phone number, no email, just a P.O. box in familiar writing, paper aged with the tendrils of time. Even then, Ava could see that the strokes were sure, certain, like the Bea she’s always known. But they were lighter too, the ends of her letters lifting up just a bit, like even she didn’t know exactly what was coming next.
So Ava thanked the sisters and rushed on out.
She didn’t move as fast as she used to anymore, even with the halo thrumming in her back. But she trudged along, feet drawing her closer and closer to her final destination. The sunrise broke over the horizon as she plowed up the mountains. Of course, Bea would go back to the one place they’d shared. Not Ava-the-Halo-Bearer and Sister Beatrice, but simply Ava and Bea.
The sun glowed against her cheeks and she felt like she was nineteen-just-turned-twenty again. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes when she realised that this could all be gone. Bea’s, but not hers. Who wouldn’t love Beatrice? She probably had a whole new life, new family, new love, just conveniently in the same place they’d learned to love each other. She planted herself on a park bench, just across from the pool she’d spent almost every free second she’d had at, and the doubt wormed into her chest, shredding at her heart til she could barely breathe.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” A young voice drifted in in German, accompanied by someone settling on the bench next to her.
It took her a second to respond, “I’m fine, thanks!” The language felt odd on her tongue. Thirty years had passed, but her mouth still moved, falling into a routine that was natural, but a bit misshapen, like clearing the cobwebs of an old hangout.
The young man had looked straight through her, with a funky little mustache and mischievous eyes. Ava wasn’t quite sure why, but in seconds she was pouring out her life’s story to this random stranger. She could almost hear the music in the background, like she had done hundreds of times to Hans before.
“It’s been years, and I don’t even know if she’d wait for this long. It feels selfish to want it but–”
The boy stopped, glancing as another figure settled near the pool, “Sorry, my father sends me each morning to watch–”
Ava followed his line of sight and everything faded. Bea. Streaks of grey laid where the blond used to be. Hair still up in a bun, a few strands hanging loose and framing her face perfectly. Ava’s hand itched to tuck it back behind her ear. To trace the soft smile lines at the edge of her eyes. Good. All Ava had wanted was for Bea to be happy.
She couldn’t help but launch herself at Bea, Halo giving her a little boost. Bea’s head shot up at the movement, cycling from alarm to immediate recognition as Ava’s feet pounded against the grass. Bea shot to her feet, arms reaching forward, crashing together in a tangle of limbs.
“Ava?” Bea’s voice cracked, a slight tinge of disbelief, as she clutched at Ava’s spine, drawing them together as close as she could.
“Bea,” she whispered, gripping at anything she could. She buried her nose in the crook of Bea’s neck – she smelled exactly the same. A flood of relief washed down her muscles as Bea pressed her lips against the side of her head, tears dripping against Ava’s face and mixing with her own.
It took a few seconds of stunned relief, multitudes being said without any sound.
“You came home,” Bea sniffled, voice thick with emotion.
Ava drew back, hand gently tilting Bea’s chin, eyes searching for the truth she already knew. “I’m home.”
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