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raaorqtpbpdy · 28 days

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Highway Home

Jazz and Kyle have a little chat about their brothers after the brothers in question leave the two of them stranded on the freeway and forced to walk home.

Based on the prompts: Jazz and Kyle are stuck wandering the freeway after their brothers show up and steal Kyle's car. [from @camels-pen], and “So how do you feel about the fact that ‘that Fenton kid’ always refers to your little brother, whose infamy has made him far more well-known in the school than you?” ...Maybe Jazz wants some crazy rumors too. [from @dragonsdomain]

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[Warning for death threats (to siblings), and a creepy guy showing up for a hot minutes, but thankfully Jazz and Kyle aren't stupid]

"Well that just happened," Kyle Weston said flatly as his car drove away with his brother and that Fenton kid inside, apparently chasing after something, although Kyle hadn't seen what.

He looked to his side where the other Fenton kid was standing with her arms crossed, looking only mildly annoyed, given the circumstances. She had been catching a ride with him back from the academic decathlon team victory party—they'd kicked Elmerton Central High's ass, and Jackie Calloway threw a huge party at his fancy house in Polter Heights to celebrate.

The party had been awesome, but Kyle wasn't really a night owl, so when Jazz—the team's MVP—said she was gonna head home early, and then her parents wouldn't pick up the phone, Kyle offered to give her a ride.

Now the two of them were standing on the side of the freeway as it grew steadily colder and darker. Which was... significantly less awesome than hanging out at Jackie Calloway's party.

Even so, the two of them knew their respective brothers well enough that a circumstance such as this was all but expected at this point.

"Guess we're walking home," Jazz said with a sigh.

Kyle groaned, but didn't outright complain as the two started to walk along the side of the freeway toward home. The cars on the road passed them at frighting speeds, throwing gusts of wind their way that did nothing to combat the rapidly cooling evening air.

"At least it's only one more exit," Jazz pointed out optimistically.

That one more exit was over a mile away, and they would have to walk the whole way like this. Kyle hadn't even had the chance to grab his jacket when Wes forced him out of his own car, yelling that it was some kind of emergency.

"Wes doesn't even have his driver's license yet," Kyle grumbled. Wes only had. a learner's permit because he spent all his time screwing around with Danny Fenton instead of doing driving lessons with Dad. "If he wrecks my car, I swear I'll kill him."

"I wonder what all the rush was," Jazz said thoughtfully. "They didn't exactly explain much when they kicked us out. I hope they'll be okay."

Kyle really didn't understand what Wes' deal was with the Fenton kid. It seemed like Wes hated him one day, but they were buddies the next, and then enemies again a week later. He hoped they either made out, or broke up, or whatever needed to happen to make the two of them chill out.

He looked over at Jazz again, and reminded himself for the second time that she was a Fenton kid, too. He wondered if it ever made her self-conscious, that even though she'd been going to Casper High for tree years compared to her brother's one, his reputation was so much more significant than hers.

Sure, pretty much everyone knew Jazz Fenton. Her tutoring list was substantial, so a lot of students even knew her personally, but if they didn't, most still knew of her. Kind, helpful, in line to be valedictorian, highest scorer ever on the CAT exam. But people knew Jazz in the back of their minds, whereas what they knew of her brother was front-and-center. His reputation spread far and wide, so basically everyone in town knew of him.

The passing cars had been too loud to let them carry a conversation, but when there was a lull in traffic, Kyle figured he might as well take the opportunity to ask while it was just the two of them.

"So hey... does it ever, like, bother you that when people say 'that Fenton kid', it always refers to your little brother?" he asked. "I mean like, how does it feel that his infamous reputation has made him way more well-known around school than you are?"

Jazz side eyed him, pulling her cardigan closer around her.

"I'd think of all people, you'd know," she replied. "Aren't you basically in the same situation with Wes? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say 'that Weston kid' and mean you."

"Fair point." He shrugged. "But still, I'm curious. Same situation, different people right. Maybe you feel differently about it than I do."

"Alright, I'll bite," she relented. "But you've gotta tell me your feelings on the matter so we can compare. Otherwise, it's not very scientific."

"Deal," Kyle agreed immediately.

Another car drove passed, and they paused their conversation until the Doppler effect had faded enough for them to be hear.

"So how do you feel about it?" Kyle prompted once it was gone.

Jazz looked into the distance, her lips pursed in consideration, and then she shook her head.

"I don't know really," she said. "I guess mostly I'm just concerned for my brother, you know? What if this reputation he's developed as a weirdo and a troublemaker follows him into college and his future career? What if it prevents him from being able to network with people, and make new friends? But also...."

"Yeah?" Kyle encouraged, sensing that this 'also' was gonna be pretty juicy.

"Well... maybe I want some crazy rumors too, you know?"

A car drove by right as she started to reply, and she had to yell to be heard.

Kyle put on an incredibly satisfied grin at that. He was right. That was a juicy 'also'.

She waited for the noise to fade before continuing.

"I mean, there are people at our school who genuinely, unironically believe that my brother's bladder can predict ghost attacks," she said. "How nuts is that? Your brother swears up and down that Danny is a ghost himself. And ever since all that pirate stuff, the entire freshman class thinks he's some kind of ghost hunting badass, even though he still gets bullied by the football players.

"There are people on the academic decathlon team—some of the smartest, most logical kids in school—who are completely convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Danny is some kind of bad luck charm, because of a series of total coincidences that happened when he sat in on one of our practices. None of them were even remotely his fault, he was just waiting around so I could give him a ride home from school because he sprained his ankle.

"Obviously, I don't want people thinking I'm bad luck, but maybe something just a little weird going around about me would be fun," she finished. "Or make me seem like a little less of a goody-two-shoes at least."

"You want some kind of bad girl reputation?" Kyle teased.

"Well... no," Jazz said, half-shrugging and half nodding. "I like being a goody-two-shoes, but that's not all I am, you know? I can be just as creepy, and badass, and mysterious as Danny can." She punctuated her statement with a pout that was neither creepy, nor badass, nor mysterious.

Kyle shook his head and chuckled.

"To be honest, I don't get what the deal is with our school's obsessive ghost superstition," he said. "I've got a lot of friends online in gaming groups and I've never met anyone as adamant about the existence of ghosts as our classmates at school. I don't know if it's a gimmick, or some cultural thing I missed out on, or what, but it's so over the top."

Jazz laughed out loud, although, for the life of him, he couldn't tell if she was laughing with him or at him. She didn't say anything though.

He knew that she used to be just as much of a staunch skeptic as he was, but at some point in the last year, public opinion on the existence of ghosts had shifted dramatically, and he wasn't sure if her opinion had shifted with it or not. Even if she did believe in ghosts, at least she wasn't as much of a fanatic about it as everyone else was. At least she never spent an hour trying, unsuccessfully, to convince Kyle that ghosts were real.

"Alright, I've said my piece," she told him with a smile like she was humoring him. "Your turn. How do you feel about your brother being so much better-known around school than you are."

"Hmm...."

Kyle thought about it for a moment, his brows furrowed under the edge of his baseball cap. He probably should have thought about it before. It wasn't like he didn't know this was coming.

"I would have to say... I guess I'm like, half annoyed, and half relieved."

"Interesting," Jazz replied. "Elaborate."

Another car drove by, and they both shivered in the wind it blew their way. It was fully dark now, and Kyle was really regretting the fact that he hadn't thought to grab his Jacket when they got stranded.

When the chill passed, and the sound of the engine faded, Kyle chuckled to himself.

"Alright, sure," he allowed. "I'm annoyed because most of the people I talk to, when I mention Wes, they immediately recognize his name, and then they say they didn't even know he had a twin brother. So like, at least people know you exist, even if your brother's more well-known than you are.

"And I'm relieved because have you heard Wes' reputation?" Kyle all but snorted. "People think he's a total nut-case, some kind of raving mad conspiracy theorist. I'm much happier to wallow in anonymity than be the target of constant mockery. He's got such a reputation that people won't even believe him when he says something objectively cool.

"In computer class one time, a girl remarked that she hadn't seen any ducks at the pond in the park lately, and Wes said that was because they migrate south for the winter. Common knowledge, right? Except because it was Wes that said it, she opened a new tab and googled it right in front of him."

Jazz busted up with laughter. "Oh my god, really?"

"I swear to god," Kyle confirmed. "So yeah, if my choice is between obscurity and whatever Wes has got going on, I think I have the better end of the deal, honestly."

"Okay, I can see your point. At least for as wild a reputation as Danny has, his credibility is still pretty high."

"He did get featured in Genius Magazine," he remembered. "Some... gorilla thing, right? That'll boost anybody's credibility."

"Ha! Fair enough, yeah," she agreed. "Somehow, I always forget about that."

"Too bad my brother's just a doofus and not a genius," Kyle joked.

But Jazz didn't laugh at that, only smiled in such a way that was knowing as much as it was amused.

"I don't know," she said, and Kyle didn't like her tone as she said it. It wasn't... mocking exactly, but she spoke as if she knew something he didn't, and that bothered him. "Maybe he's just misunderstood."

"Maybe he's just a pain in the rear," he retorted with a scoff.

Another car came by, but this one slowed when it got close to them.

Kyle saw Jazz tense up, and he put himself between her and the strange vehicle, just in case.

A man leaned out the driver's side window to talk to them. "You kids need a ride?" he asked.

"No thanks," Kyle told him, smiling politely. "We haven't got much farther to go."

"Just the same, it's gettin' late," the man insisted. "I don't like the idea of two kids wandering the highway in the dark for any distance."

"And you like the idea of two kids climbing into a stranger's car any better?" Kyle raised an eyebrow. "If it's all the same to you, we'd rather take a mode of transportation that's guaranteed to get us where we want to go, instead of landing us dead and buried in the woods."

The man scowled. "Is that anyway to talk to a good Samaritan just trying to help?"

"What did you expect?" Jazz pitched. "You're a total stranger trying to pick us up off the side of the road even though we didn't indicate in any way that we were looking for a ride? You can't seriously be worried about us running into a creeper and not realize that you're acting like one, can you?"

Kyle glanced back at her and her thoroughly derisive look, impressed for a moment, before fixing his gaze back on the man, who scowled at the both of them, but pulled his head back in his car and drove off, grumbling the whole time. They waited until the man was a long way down the freeway before they started moving again.

"Damn, you sure told that guy," Kyle commended. "You can be badass."

Jazz flipped her hair for effect and rolled back her shoulders. "I did tell you, didn't I?"

"That you did."

"Now, come on. Our exit's just up ahead, let's take it before another creep drives by that we can only hope takes 'no' for an answer."

"Good call."

Their conversation faded as the two of them started to run ahead to the downtown Amity Park exit where they could finally get off the free way and onto the much safer surface roads.

Once they were back in town, they struck up a conversation about academic decathlon, and the computer camp Kyle went to, and the colleges Jazz had been touring lately as she chose where to apply.

Kyle's apartment was much closer than Jazz's place, but since it was already well after dark, he offered to walk her all the way home if she wanted. She thanked him, but politely declined, assuring him she could handle herself for a few blocks, and it wasn't a dangerous neighborhood. All the same, he asked her to shoot him a text when she got home so he wouldn't have to worry about her, and that, she did agree to.

He was just logging into his favorite online game, about ten minutes later, when the text came in from her, letting Kyle know she hadn't died on the way home.

It turned out Wes wasn't as stupid as Kyle thought he was, because he brought Kyle's car back in the same condition he'd taken it, and he'd even filled the tank. After examining it for scratches and dents, Kyle decided that his brother could live another day.

He asked Wes why he had taken it in the first place, of course. But Wes had replied with a long, convoluted story about the Fenton kid losing his powers and they needed it to chase after some evil, uber powerful ghost. After a couple of minutes, Kyle just cut him off and said he didn't need an elaborate lie and if Wes wanted it kept private so bad, he could just say so.

That, of course, made Wes irrationally angry, which was hilarious, and made the whole ordeal worth it in Kyle's opinion. He got to see his brother seethe, and he had a nice conversation with Jazz Fenton, so all in all, he couldn't even find it in him to be that mad about his car being stolen.

#danny phantom #dp #jazz fenton #kyle weston #fic #phic phight #things i wrote #phic phight 24

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ikibli · 6 months

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A Dystopia is Utopia from Another Angle(BNHA HPSC POV)

The Meta Liberation Army, cause of so much death and suffering, is a thing because people wanted to use the superpowers they were born with without thinking of the consequences.

Flying if you have wings is all fine and dandy. But who's going to make every possible villainous use of a Quirk an enforceable crime that doesn't unfairly discriminate against people with certain Quirks? Who's going to clean up all of the accidentally destroyed buildings, and who's going to fix them, or pay for the repairs?

That's not even counting the purely legal or economic problems.

If someone can create gold from nothing and sells the gold, soon gold will be worth a lot less. And the American dollar is technically based on the gold standard...

If someone can clone themselves infinitely, do the clones count as employees or just the original? If the clones count, where do their paychecks or vacation days go? If only the original counts, then their boss doesn't need any other employees since they can just pay their one cloner employee a bonus to learn any new skills, thus thoroughly depressing the job market since nobody wants an employee that isn't a cloner and his company makes millions in profit from only needing to pay one employee. This is also assuming the cloner has a boss that isn't him.

If someone is about to be late to school and starts running at 80 miles per hour, do they count as a pedestrian, car, or cyclist? This seemingly pedantic question is important because of things like right of way, safety laws and who's liable for what in the event they collide with something or get run over. The insurance clauses for colliding with a car and colliding with a pedestrian are very different, as you well know.

The only reasonable solution to all of these problems is to just put a blanket ban on using your Quirk, for any reason, then hand out licenses, under the control of a responsible authority.

Then there's heroes. We all love heroes, don't we?

They help you when you need it, and they expect nothing in return except the smile on your face. Every schoolchild wants to be a hero- why would you dream of anything else unless it's to be an "everyday hero" like a doctor? Why wouldn't you want your name chanted in awe? Why wouldn't you want to use your powers to put a little good into the world?

Stop laughing, you were like that too when you were eight. I have the transcripts on my phone.

Heroes are famous celebrities. Heroes are emergency responders. Heroes are the police. Heroes are the military. Heroes are judge, jury and executioner for villains. Heroes are the righteous defenders of justice, here to stop the villain and save the day. No cost is too great for them (or others, but we don't talk about that) to pay in the service of others, but even if you die you can die satisfied you contributed to the greater good.

Oh, it's not like that? Your license is a chain, a burden? You wish you had said no in the beginning? You wish you could be assured you would make it to forty? You wish you could be with the one you love without duty getting in the way?

Well, that license is also the only thing keeping you from drowning in the tide of real life. We fed you. We housed you. We trained you to be the best hero you can be. And we can take that away at any second if you disobey.

Do you even think of what you would have been if we hadn't saved you? You would have remained a filthy, uneducated child living in a slum. You would never have made it to forty either way- you would have turned into a wretched villain and been killed by a hero if not by your own filth, if we hadn't saved you. Just like your father.

Yes, your father. He was a thief who ruined what he couldn't steal, and inevitably ruined that too. He died at age thirty-five, killed while robbing his fifty-eighth convenience store.

Don't worry, we erased every mention of your parents' existence from all but the most classified of our own records.

What do you mean, I'm a monster?! We did it for your own good! How would the people react to finding out a hero like you was related to a lowlife like him? Think about it.

Why am I telling you this? I thought you'd never ask.

I'm explaining this to you, so that you understand why we have to do this.

We're the Public Safety Commission, not the Public Happiness Commission. We can forgive a few mistakes here and there, provided you understand what you did wrong.

What we can't forgive is for you to keep making mistakes, mistakes that get people killed.

So, you're going to tell us every little secret you've ever kept from us. And if we find out you've turned on us...we'll have to terminate your employment. Permanently.

What do you mean you'd never tell me? Of course you will!

You're confused? Don't worry, I'll tell you.

You see, unlike my quaint little cousin in the police, I don't just detect the truth. I force the truth. Agent Orange, start the recording.

Now, Hawks. Are you loyal to the Hero Public Safety Commission?

No? I thought so. Why?

Oh, you have a boyfriend. How cute. How much do you know about any Commission secret projects?

Nothing? Good, we might be able to let you live then. What are the main and secondary weaknesses of each League of Villains member?

Congratulations. I see you've found a way around my Quirk. With video game slang, of all things.

Too bad I'm smarter than you.

What are the best three ways to kill each League of Villains member?

You're still trying to get around it? I thought you knew better than this.

What are the best three ways to kill each League of Villains member in real life?

Seriously?! I really hate people that make me get this specific.

What are the best three ways to kill each League of Villains member in real life without access to alien technology, orbital missiles, orbital space stations, intercontinental missiles, nuclear weaponry or a Quirk that allows you to manifest objects from video games?

I'm beginning to think it would be better to just tell the media what you've been doing and let them eat you alive.

What are the best three ways to kill each League of Villains member in real life with any combination of any number of the following things-any of the Quirks of any licensed hero, conventional firearms, conventional melee weaponry, poison, fire, explosives, any support gear that is possible to construct without the use of a Quirk-What was that?

The League of Villains coming to rescue you?

Ah, I see I've been outplayed. You truly didn't need to resist, all you needed to do was stall.

I see you've made your decision. Goodbye, Hawks. Let us never meet again.

#bnha #my hero academia #fandom analysis #spoilers #bnha spoilers #fanfic #creative writing

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robyndehood · 3 years

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My Son's Story (pt. 1)

DISCLAIMER: I Know it's a bit of a long read, but it's important. Please read. I promise it isn't boring. Thank you!

Hi Everyone,

Intro

This is my first real attempt at Tumblr. Please contact me if anything I post violates a rule or is not considered appropriate. Anything I post, I truly mean no harm nor offense to anyone. But I need to write daily again to regain my gift and share it with the world. I have been working on my version of the "great American novel" for years. As a child, I was well on my way to becoming a successful author, but people had other ideas for my career path - and to put it bluntly - my contribution to society. Writer's block set in and then what was second nature to me - creative writing, became a lost skill. Or maybe a distant memory. Writers know that half the struggle as an artist is the dilemma of our own aspiration towards perfection. But nothing is perfect. It is a social construct and the antithesis of true beauty.

The Ultimate Birthday Gift

So, that said, let's talk about my son. He's three - he's actually turning four in December. He was born on my birthday and has been the greatest gift that I have ever received. I won't pretend that he is perfect or even generally compliant with my directions. But he's loving. He's empathetic. He's brilliant. He's beautiful. And most of all, he is the sweetest person I have ever met.

I am going to go slightly off-topic for a bit; just to paint the full picture. I don't want to ramble and I am definitely a believer that a short and to the point message is almost always far superior to a long and complicated message. But bear with me because this snippet of the backstory is essential. And my son's story is important.

Appalachia

We live in Pittsburgh, part of the Appalachian Mountain Range. There is no other way to say it than the unadulterated, ugly truth of it - Pittsburgh is racist. Very racist. Beyond that, there is a general lack of common courtesy to outsiders, customers of businesses, other patrons in stores, etc. And the rudeness, is actually pretty much unrelated to the racism. It sounds strange and surely, minorities who are on the receiving end of it would certainly assume that racism was the reason why they said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. and about half the time are ignored like they're a ghost. But don't get it twisted - there are many times the aforementioned behaviors by many Pittsburghers IS induced by racism AND a lack of common courtesy and manners. You see, their deep-seated tribalism is indoctrinated into many Pittsburghers so completely from a young age that they know no different. It would be difficult for them to understand this article and I'd bet anyone ten bucks that if enough PIttsburghers read this post - they will attack my analysis of Pittsburghese culture as though the post itself is a blitz on the entire city.

Brown or White?

I am latin and there aren't many latins in Pittsburgh. But when we moved to Pittsburgh when I was in seventh grade, people knew my last name. Summer had just passed and I do get brown. I can get brown very quickly in the right type of sun and I get brown eventually in the sun that exists in cloudy and northern Pittsburgh. In seventh grade, some boys decided it would be funny to call me "estupido," and up until two years ago, I avoided sun exposure that would reveal my "brownness" like the plague.

Subversive, Subconscious, and Secret Racism

So, not long after I started that strategy, I was treated as white. (Side note: latins can be any race; but it seems that societal constructs are seeking to change this long accepted designation and categorize latins as some in between, brown race and not an ethnicity. To be honest, I am ok with that and now proud to be latin.)

The reality of being treated white in Pittsburgh for many years was that I learned what white people actually said when they were only with other whites. The most common thing that was said was one white person mumbling to other white people that someone was a "dumb n******" or a "dumb monkey." I've heard white adults refer to children who were black as "n***lets." But it was always this crocodile smiling through their teeth behavior. They'd never dare say it to a black person. Instead, they'd just indirectly discriminate against them.

I do have to mention that by no means do all Pittsburghers behave this way. It's just too many of them. I don't know the percentage, but if I had to guess I'd say - 50% plus.

Yes, Racism Happens All The Time Even if You Don't See it Happen

Many white people will tell you that racism is gone because they don't ever observe it and Obama was president - a black president. Therefore, everything is now over. I can admit that I have experienced my share of discrimination when my skin darkens. But I had no clue how bad it was for black people out here until my son became the recipient of the ugliness of it all. To me, racists are by definition ignorant cowards; so it makes sense they'd pick on a small boy whose only family is his mother.

Evil Always Starts Slowly

If one reviews history, every evil dictator or regime began slowly chipping away human rights. By the time the citizens realized the dire state of their country, it was too late. Their freedoms were already taken away and mechanisms to fight back had also been methodically erased.

When my son was born - a boy who is half African (his father (if you want to call him that since he is basically not involved) is from Ghana); no issues arose for the first two and a half years. But then the indirect discrimination started. The same rules that applied for white children didn't apply to him. I could give so many examples. But let's just say, as a rambunctious boy, if my son mimicked a white boy's same rambunctious behavior, we were confronted and the white family was not confronted.

One day I made an appointment for my son's hair to get cut at Philip Pelusi. They made the appointment knowing that he was only two and a half. The receptionist let me know that the stylist was a "Grade A Stylist," so I would have to pay more. I was fine with paying more; cool. After the appointment was made, I mentioned to the receptionist that my son was mixed race. We ended the call and I began to get my son ready to leave. Within ten minutes, the salon called back and informed me that they didn't/wouldn't cut my son's "type of hair." I promptly returned the call and explained his hair was curly, that's all. They blatantly lied and told me that the stylist doesn't cut ANY curly hair. Right. So, if a white lady came in with curly hair she would be turned away? I doubt it. Either way, the stylist is "Grade A." She is also licensed to cut hair by the state. Shouldn't a requirement for state licensing require one to know how to cut all "types of hair"?; I saved the recording, by the way, and still have it.

As months progressed, little by little wherever my son and I went in "white areas," we felt hostile vibes. Other incidents occurred that couldn't be proven as racial discrimination, but I knew. Whites behaved as though my son didn't deserve to be around them.

Southern Hospitality

We traveled down south a few times in the past year. Yes, some of the south is very racist still to this day. But not where we drove. Suddenly people responded when we said "excuse me," "thank you," etc. No white families prevented my son from playing with their children. No one told me my son was a nuisance or put out that vibe.

The Lesser of Two Evils?

But we had to come back each time because we live here and I've been working my way out of the projects that I have lived in for four years. Shootings. Open drug use and sales. The smell of crack in the hallways. Infestations in other apartments that come our way no matter what we try. People peeing on the hallway floors. Yes, seriously. Young children being encouraged to bully and beat up other kids. Children stealing or attempting to steal my son's toys because their mothers buy them none. Gamgmembers as young as twelve.

So, I concluded: "yes, we will move, but until then, we only sleep in our apartment and we do not play at the projects' playground." I figured IF I saved a certain number of money since I have a car that I saved for and bought last year, we would make it in our new, chosen city (Tampa or Jacksonville).

But then the racism against my son in the "white playgrounds" became worse. One day he was playing with a five year old boy at an indoor playground. The mother had no issue with it. The father of the boy arrived half an hour in, promptly scooped the boy away from my son, and told his son that he had told him he was not to "play with n*****s." My son couldn't understand why he could no longer play with his new friend and kept calling to him, "friends again!" while sobbing because he thought he had upset the boy. I had to leave with my son because of it.

Another time, a ten-year-old boy taunted my son on an outdoor playground and called him a "dumb monkey." My son first attempted to yell, "I NOT DUMB MONKEY," a few times; but the boy persisted and even smirked in my direction. My son ran to me and asked me to make the boy stop. No parent in sight and again, I just had to leave with my son.

Enough is Enough

Finally, last month or so, my son and I were at our usual laundromat doing laundry. We had finished. My son skipped a few steps in front of me and tried to open the glass door but couldn't push the bar to open it because of his height. He placed (yes, placed..lightly) his foot on the door to try to give it a bit more of a nudge. I was a few seconds behind him so just pushed the door open and we went to our car to load our clean laundry into it. In retrospect, I saw an older white male go next door to the beer store right after we walked out of the laundromar. The beer store employee approached us as I loaded my laundry into my car and then intended to leave.

The beer store employee told me he was getting "reports that kids were kicking glass." He said kids. Plural. And what he said made me envision a bunch of grade school kids kicking around broken glass on the sidewalk or parking lot. I responded calmly that "I have one kid and he's been with me the whole time. He wasn't involved." The beer store employee wanted drama to transpire. It was obvious. He said in a threatening manner: "Just so you know, I have cameras." My son and I exchanged glances because we were confused. What kids? Kids were kicking glass. Where? What glass?

Again though, I calmly responded that my son wasn't involved and he should check his cameras. He told me he was calling the cops. So I got my three-year-old son in his car seat and set a time limit of ten minutes to wait. We weren't running when he didn't do anything. The cops of course showed up about a minute later. It's ridiculous because in our projects (different police department than the laundromat police department), there have been shootings where children were outside playing when several clips were emptied into crowds and the police station is a block away. I know people called and it took an hour for them to arrive on scene.

Long story short, the laundromat cops knew it was a bullshit call. The supposed "kicking glass" was because my son placed his foot on the door to try to open it when we were LEAVING. The police eventually informed us that was the alleged "kicking of glass." There was no kicking that happened. The door wasn't even dirtier, let alone damaged because my son tried to use his foot to open the door. Lightly, by the way.

Even though the police were kind to my son, for the next week, my usual gregarious child was terrified to go anywhere. He eventually told me it was because "the cops will chase me and take me to jail because I bad guy now."

He's over it now. Mostly.

But we still have to pick between the craziness of playing at our aforementioned projects or going to a "white playground" and risking my son being rejected. It's usually a 50/50 shot that he will be rejected. If he gets rejected, he gets very upset.

Again, these are problems we never faced on our travels down the southern eastern seaboard. We didn't get treated like this at the destinations or on the journey by car to and from the destinations.

I knew we were living in an extremely racist and rude area, but one day I found this. It's a map delineating the results of a study conducted by Google and others regarding the level of racism in different parts of the country.

I already knew this much. But it's good to know I'm right that we are in the worst part of the U.S. for racism and the kindness we received traveling to those certain southern states was no illusion. And I did ask locals before I found this map if I was right that people are kinder to all colors in whichever given area.

Not the Worst Thing That Happened But the Last Straw

People talk a lot about Karens these days. This lady looked like she jumped right out of a Karen meme. My son was two feet away from her while we waited in line and she said as obnoxiously as possible: "Can you handle this? Please get him out of MY space." Yeah, I didn't let it go. At all. Her argument was that she said "please" so it's OK to make my son feel like a "this" and not a little boy. I held him while he sobbed. Long story short, I decided right then anywhere has to be better than this.

It isn't me just knowing people are being nasty to my son and I'm upset. He understands. He had an evaluation for something and he tested very well. He cried about each of these incidents. He just wants to make people smile and make friends.

So, next month we are going for it. I'm no where close to the aforementioned goal. I have some savings. We may end up in shelters at first after savings dry up in a few weeks. But we cannot survive up here. Nor can we advance here.

Side Note

I wrote this mostly to inform others of the status quo and reality of racism and the real effects it has on one tiny boy. And I know it will just get worse if we stay since it's this bad already.

But if you anyone knows of any resources to help us get on our feet in a month in Tampa or Jacksonville (Tampa is my first choice, but either one.) I have applied for housing, even though I didn't and don't want to go back to projects; but I'd take one down there over watching my son endure so much pain any day of the week.

Ok, so final part: I'm going to say upfront I feel extremely awkward with this paragraph because this isn't my way (years before my son was born I was homeless for a stint and never sat with a sign or a cup. Just couldn't do it), but for my son, I'm going to drop my cashtag here. Everyone is struggling and I know there are people with much worse problems. I appreciate anyone who has read this far and can help spread the reality of what I wrote about. That's the reason for the article; but if help is received at all because of it, we would be grateful but it's definitely a far second most important reason for the post. Here it goes, for my baby, in case it'll change his life and give us that better foot up, here it is: $RobyndeHood

#black love #blm #race and politics #kids #parenthood #parenting #latinboys #latin women #writers on tumblr #black lives matter #black stories #nonprofit #karens

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: can we talk? Janis: [leaving this on read for time] Janis: what Jimmy: do you wanna meet me somewhere or Jimmy: just like this? Janis: I'm not about Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [massive pauses and the 🗨 with the dots cos he's deleting and doesn't know what to say and everything like] Janis: Just say it Jimmy: I dunno how to Jimmy: for a start, you were right but I ain't here to chuck you a 🏆 Janis: what about Jimmy: Becca Janis: yeah well Janis: I knew that Jimmy: well I'm sorry I didn't Janis: whatever Janis: it's your life Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: I want you about in it Janis: I can't Janis: and I'm not gonna say congratulations Jimmy: weren't gonna have a party myself Janis: sure she won't be offended Jimmy: I don't care how she feels Janis: bit rude Jimmy: her throwing herself at me were that Janis: so you turned her down then Jimmy: I near fell out the fucking car and broke another rib trying to get away Janis: what was you in her car for Jimmy: what do you think? Jimmy: nah don't answer that actually, I know what you reckon Janis: how would I know Janis: and I don't think you can claim to know fuck all after this really Jimmy: I knew I didn't wanna go off home with just Gracie going on at me, how's that? Janis: what do you want Janis: an apology Jimmy: I want you, you dickhead Janis: you've said a lot of shit since then Jimmy: I've never said I don't though Janis: not in exact words but you don't really need to when you call me mental and say you don't need any of this Jimmy: might be that headcases are my type Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: you are Jimmy: it's on the list of what makes you 🥇 Janis: as far as attempts at flattery funny > headcase Janis: you can have that for free Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: bit skint after chucking petrol money at the lass who tried to jump me Janis: stop Jimmy: that were what I said Janis: I mean it Janis: I told you Janis: it was so fucking obvious why couldn't you just listen Jimmy: I thought you were just Janis: yeah, jealous and mental Jimmy: like I am about him, yeah Janis: it's just Janis: at least I know he wants to fuck me Janis: I'm not pretending Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: why would I have a clue what she wants? Jimmy: I don't know her, I don't want to Janis: she were hardly shy Janis: but alright, whatever Jimmy: lasses aren't Jimmy: she never said owt, did owt until Janis: 'cos people always say what they mean and want Jimmy: I'm just saying if I reckoned she were like that I'd have left it Jimmy: I weren't doing nowt to get at you or Janis: okay Jimmy: I get that I fucked this but it weren't 'cause I proper fit in with them Jimmy: or I don't like you enough Janis: does it matter why Janis: if its fucked its fucked Janis: don't need to dole out blame Jimmy: I read it all back and you said I say and do shit to go back on it when I have Jimmy: and when I am that dickhead it's 'cause I really fucking like you Jimmy: that matters if it's nowt that you want Jimmy: we said we were just gonna be mates, fuck Jimmy: I shouldn't have signed up for something that were never gonna work Jimmy: so 'course you need to know it weren't your fault Janis: Neither should I Janis: and I knew it wouldn't work before then Janis: for loads more reasons that have nothing to do with you Janis: aren't your fault, like Janis: but I just did it anyway because Janis: I wanted to Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I still want to but Janis: How Janis: why Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: What kind of questions are them? Janis: I don't know why you like me Jimmy: seriously Janis: we argue all the time Jimmy: 'cause I've only got the one good ear for listening Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Alright, you listen Jimmy: we argue all the time 'cause you make me feel things Jimmy: care about things Jimmy: I'm a 👻 it weren't part of the plan Janis: Me too Janis: on both Jimmy: I never argued enough with my ex, it ain't better Janis: it's like Janis: I want you too but I don't know how to be hurt anymore Janis: and I don't know how to not hurt you either Jimmy: if one us has to get hurt, I'm alright with it being me Jimmy: however you do it Janis: I ain't Jimmy: it won't be any worse than what's already happened before I got here Jimmy: it can't Jimmy: you don't have to be 🙀 alright? Janis: I'm not scared Janis: not of that Janis: I don't want to Janis: I won't Jimmy: not gonna make you, girl Jimmy: ain't a kink I've got Janis: I told you, I can't be nice Jimmy: it don't matter what you say Jimmy: I've felt it Jimmy: literally in my rib, not just a metaphorical way Jimmy: which rhymes now so tah for that 🙄 Janis: just can't help being artistic Jimmy: weren't trying to write you a poem Jimmy: but I wouldn't only start breathing around you if I couldn't Jimmy: if it weren't safe to Janis: are you sure Janis: because you're just Jimmy: I told you, northern, not that thick Janis: I don't think you're thick Jimmy: I am but that's not a reason for you to do one Jimmy: only works for the lads Asia is with Janis: don't get above yourself Janis: this weren't all about you Jimmy: just a 🤏 Janis: [sends picture like 😒] Jimmy: [sends one back like 😍] Janis: you make everything so bloody difficult, you know Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: What are we gonna do Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Janis: I don't know Janis: tell me Jimmy: what you should do? Janis: yeah Jimmy: come back Janis: yeah Janis: I thought you might say that Jimmy: to me though Jimmy: not just to this shithole Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'm sorry too Janis: I didn't mean to make you Janis: whatever you were Janis: are Jimmy: it's alright Janis: well Janis: I missed you Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: haven't stopped Janis: I'll come back Janis: I'm trying Jimmy: Where are you? Jimmy: I'll drive there Janis: I'm ages from where the festival was Janis: never mind there Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I know but I do Janis: I can get back Jimmy: I can get there Jimmy: won't get lost, promise Janis: your dad will 100% notice Jimmy: his girlfriend's here, he can't kick off enough to stop me Janis: damn, break my heart why don't you Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: if I leave you to it he'll be single again before you're back Jimmy: mums never last Janis: we'll ignore that you reckon I can't get back alone Jimmy: I never said you can't Jimmy: I said it'll take ages Janis: oh, so you're gonna speed as well as steal and drive without a license are you Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: and what? Janis: stop trying to seduce me Jimmy: I can't help being #goals, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 you're a dickhead Jimmy: yeah but I wanna be yours Janis: say that again Jimmy: I wanna be your dickhead Jimmy: the only one you want Janis: you are Janis: you seriously are Jimmy: you're Janis: okay, you can come Janis: [location] Jimmy: you sure? Jimmy: I'll meet you halfway if you need to show me how 💪🏆 you are Janis: if you want to Janis: just don't get caught Jimmy: nah, tell me what you want Janis: I want to see you Jimmy: okay Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: Your sister messaged me Janis: I don't wanna get you in proper trouble Jimmy: she what? Janis: [screenshot] Janis: so we can say its for her benefit if you like Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [ages while he's talking to Cass] Janis: are you okay Janis: not tryna start drama Jimmy: she's coming an' all, don't worry she's never been caught for nowt Janis: alright Janis: family reunion Jimmy: but you should know Jimmy: snap Janis: snap, what? Janis: you've got my sister in the car too Jimmy: I've had her in my inbox Janis: you are joking Jimmy: piss off, I'm funnier than that Janis: debatable but Janis: eurgh Jimmy: [screenshots of his faves insults because Grace going off thinking he's a cheating scumbag] Jimmy: she's got her own jokes Janis: great Janis: that's great Janis: not mortifying on so many levels Jimmy: I weren't gonna say owt but Jimmy: you might wanna 🗨 Janis: I might wanna kill her Janis: we'll see Jimmy: wait and we'll get 'em all in a go 🎯 Jimmy: stand by my pisshead comparison to her and my 🐕 Janis: barks worse than her bite? Jimmy: were gonna say sheds loads and she reckons you're 🥇 near as much as I do Jimmy: but that'll work an' all Janis: 😏 piss off Jimmy: [screenshots of all these real af Janis compliments in the vein of how dare you etc we know the vibe] Jimmy: didn't write of word of it myself Janis: stop it Janis: already in hiding here Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: well hard to be adored, isn't it? Janis: you should know Jimmy: 🤤 ain't 💕 Janis: it ain't that simple either, like Jimmy: Ian wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire, Cass might spit and Bobs would put it out by 😭 Jimmy: that's simple enough Janis: she likes you more than that Janis: I can tell Janis: but don't do anything, you're so uncool and you'll just blow it Jimmy: she don't like me at all, she's my sister Jimmy: don't have to Janis: exactly, someone'll just be getting at her too Janis: for losing me, or some other bollocks Jimmy: probably Janis: no 💕 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: if that's how you want it, baby Janis: being just friends didn't work Jimmy: it didn't Janis: so Jimmy: Do you wanna stop fucking me then? Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: Alright, do you wanna be my girlfriend instead? Janis: do you mean it Jimmy: Why else would I say it? Janis: I just have to ask Jimmy: you heard me before, I really like you Janis: I did Janis: I could be your girlfriend Jimmy: so go on Janis: alright Janis: let's do that instead Jimmy: sorted Janis: so you can use 💕 Janis: sometimes Janis: if you like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah, just like that Jimmy: you don't have to be so hot about it Janis: 😂 soz Janis: kids onboard, I remember Jimmy: kid Jimmy: weren't letting Bob come, we'd never make it for stopping every 15 minutes Janis: Got younger brothers, don't need to tell me about the aim they ain't got for the bottle trick Jimmy: would love him to piss all over Ian's car if we didn't have to be sat about in it for ages after Janis: not very romantic Jimmy: as roadtrips go Janis: didn't fuck off for the drama or the 💕 reconciliation Janis: soz to report Jimmy: we can keep that between us, Jules Janis: don't tell Grace, obviously 💔🙄 Jimmy: doubt she'll speak to me again Janis: sound more thrilled Jimmy: best day of my life Jimmy: hands down Janis: now you're being too much Jimmy: 💕 Janis: better be @ me not her, dickhead Jimmy: it's yours, dickhead Jimmy: same as me Janis: you really can't be saying things like that and not be here for me to Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're always in the middle of nowt Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: just a 🤏 Janis: we agreed, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: make me Jimmy: [most 🔥 sext ever] Janis: fuck Janis: know I literally asked for it but Janis: you really always go above and beyond, yeah Jimmy: you're that inspiring Jimmy: and I can't stop thinking about you Janis: I think about you more than anything else Janis: I can't stop Jimmy: we can stop for a bit though, can't we? be alone in a proper bed, no crying or crap music playing Janis: that sounds like a plan to me Jimmy: then it is Jimmy: a real plan Janis: I promise Janis: no faking, no one else Jimmy: it really is so different with you Jimmy: I still can't fully get my head round it Janis: No one else has ever Janis: fill in the blank, like, probably true Jimmy: I get that Jimmy: unless we're filling them in like 💔🎻😭 Jimmy: my ex holds all them cards Janis: I'm not gonna fight her for them Janis: but I can smack that other bitch for you Jimmy: no need, all her mates saw me fall onto the gravel instead of into her arms so Jimmy: and I were pretty loud about telling her to fuck off Janis: are you alright Jimmy: I'm not dying for anyone but you Janis: too right Jimmy: I should've listened to you Janis: don't matter now Janis: never have to see her again Janis: lucky for her Jimmy: alright, you're well fit, you can stop now Janis: but I'm well serious too Jimmy: don't I'll 💀💀💀 Jimmy: no one else has ever fought for me before Janis: well, you're coming to rescue me now so the score'll be even there 🤴⚔ Jimmy: nah, you didn't need me to Jimmy: you could get back Janis: I want you to Janis: and I'm only coming back for you Jimmy: I'm only staying here for you, might make us even enough Janis: if you're okay with it, I am Jimmy: til we can go together, I'll have to be Janis: yeah Janis: where are we gonna go? Jimmy: somewhere it never stops 🌧 Jimmy: where's that? Janis: Guinea, apparently Jimmy: 🤓🌍 Janis: thanks, google Janis: though I'm suspect, the top three are all in Africa Janis: thought they were starving 'cos no rain Janis: can't believe bob geldolf lied to us Jimmy: @ his 👻 Janis: and that bono bastard too Janis: he might still be alive, less sure Jimmy: there can be only one 😎👻 so he better be Janis: 😂 Janis: you know those are medical, what's your excuse? Jimmy: #same Janis: you can see just fine, it's your 👂s, remember Jimmy: Oi, have you know I'm allergic to bollocks and slags Janis: sounds serious Jimmy: would be deadly but I'm well hard 🏆💪 Janis: I'm so glad, baby Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😏 cute Jimmy: you Janis: you more Jimmy: there's nowt more than you Janis: I'm gonna have to get used to how nice you're gonna be to me, aren't I Jimmy: I can be a twat to you all you like Jimmy: had loads of practice Janis: you've got range, I got it Janis: no need to show-off Jimmy: 👻🎭🖋💕 Jimmy: let's go to verona Janis: alright Jimmy: if it don't 🌧 enough I'll spit off our balcony, know how you feel about piss Janis: 💕 Janis: so respectful Jimmy: such a romantic, me Jimmy: you might be athlete but I'll jump through them hoops easy Janis: I'll train you Janis: All the 🥇👑🏆 for you, boy Jimmy: I'd settle for a kiss right now Janis: when you get here Janis: soz to your sister in advance Jimmy: she'll live Jimmy: like I said, Ian had his missus round Janis: well I am NOT alright with 🥈 Janis: get your cringe on Jimmy: that's why you're 🥇 Judith Janis: you know it Janis: pulling out of the race to be your new step mum has nothing to do with not being able to win, tah Jimmy: now I feel car sick, weird that Janis: Baby Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: please call me that again, I reckon it'll help Janis: if you say please again, I reckon I can Jimmy: please Janis: shit Janis: okay, you're my baby Jimmy: shit is right, I'm well 😳 but I just shivered, dunno what we're gonna do now Jimmy: might 💀💀💀 Janis: not without me Jimmy: do you wanna go first or at the same time? Janis: such a gentleman Janis: 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: literally got the wrong accent Janis: I'll work on my impression Janis: but you don't need to ask Jimmy: what do I need to do then? Janis: focus, so you don't crash Janis: then get us home so we can be alone and I can 💀💀💀 you properly Jimmy: alright Janis: good boy Jimmy: you're just Janis: I just Janis: miss you Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: so much Janis: I can stay 'til your da's girlfriend leaves at least, can't I Jimmy: you can stay as long as you want to Janis: never can Janis: that's why I have to 🏃 too Jimmy: I'm not chucking you out and he can't Janis: alright Janis: just squat in your gaff then Jimmy: I mean it, if he ever does or says owt to you I'll 💀💀💀 him Janis: I'm not 🙀 Jimmy: there's no need to be Janis: I know, I believe you Jimmy: goes for owt else an' all 🚫🙀 Janis: contrary to what you 📢 Janis: not scared of much of anything, tah Jimmy: Thelma and Louise-ing it then, yeah? Janis: what was my fellas job again Jimmy: sells carpets Janis: oh yeah Janis: deffo kms asap then Jimmy: 😂 Janis: so Janis: are they gay or what Jimmy: they have at go at it at the end 😘 Janis: cute Janis: may as well reignite those rumours before my death Jimmy: you get stuck into loads of lads though Jimmy: when you've left Mr Carpet Janis: Oh good Janis: Mia can have 'em all on speed dial Jimmy: she would Jimmy: well her type Janis: she wants to thelma all over me Jimmy: she'll have to want Jimmy: not sharing with her Janis: fair Janis: not breaking the no other people thing for a 💀 Jimmy: too right, if we're getting anyone else involved they'll be fitter than that Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: oh god Jimmy: deliberately left out the 👵 'cause I know you ain't #teamdoris Janis: cheers Janis: everyone knows it ain't gay if you do it for a lad though Jimmy: that 💌 ain't made it up north Jimmy: nowt isn't gay there Janis: bummer, no threesome then Janis: really are deprived Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Ian reckons our Cass is gay 'cause she don't wear dresses and Bob is 'cause he would if you let him Jimmy: I reckon they're 12 and 6 Janis: 🙄 Janis: wait 'til he hears about femmes and masc4masc, gonna blow his tiny mind Janis: I'll bring it up over dinner or something Jimmy: #sozbabeyourfaveisproblematic 💔 Janis: way to shit on your own nature-nurture too, Ian Janis: 2/3 of your kids are gay?! 🤔 sounds like you fucked up somewhere Jimmy: he loves to shit on my nurture, that'll be it Janis: least he did you alright genetically Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: yeah tah Jimmy: and my mum actually did something 👏 Janis: 🥇🥇🥇 that woman Jimmy: if Ian's about she can have all the 👏🏆🥇 Jimmy: loves talking about her, like Mia does carbs Janis: gotcha Janis: only to impress your date with how totally amazing you're doing without, yeah Jimmy: if it gets Sandra going that's her business Janis: 🤢 Janis: and my name is bad but christ Janis: Sandra is awful and would sound even worse in your accent, I can hear it and 😬 Jimmy: 1. Juliet is a beautiful name 2. that might not be hers 3. I call 'em all mum any road so they piss off down a far off one quicker Janis: 🔥💡 babe Jimmy: does the job I need it to do Jimmy: and it's a label that's going spare round ours Janis: if the apron fits, ladies Jimmy: Ian's gotta tie you to the sink with something, like Jimmy: can't have you going out and about earning your own 💰 and forming your own 💡🗬 Janis: gonna need his kinks to stay 🔒 and in the bedroom only thanks Jimmy: #relatable Janis: I mean I know you'll be a while yet ut you had to turn me off that hard? Jimmy: if you want me to turn you back on, that's easy Janis: 🤖💕 Jimmy: [🔥 sext numero 2] Janis: oh Janis: was gonna contest easy but Jimmy: I love a good lass protesting too much Jimmy: crack on Janis: good 'cos that didn't make me make any unholy noise at all Janis: and I know exactly what to do with myself right now Jimmy: did it not? 🤞 this one might do a more 🥇 job Jimmy: [🔥 sext 3] Janis: Jimmy, I do not like you at all Janis: not a little or a whole load Jimmy: I'll have to change your mind somehow Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: I really can't take much more though Jimmy: where are you? Janis: some cafe Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: gutted for the CG Janis: it's more greasy spoon, can't even compete, I swear Jimmy: my dear, what kind of SLAG Janis: come on, don't tell Jimmy: you know you can't make me 🤐 only 📢 Janis: your sounds are Janis: I wanna hear them on repeat Jimmy: I'll make you a playlist Janis: please Jimmy: we can do track 1 in a bit Janis: be here be here be here Janis: it's gonna be fucking torture being in that car and not being on you too Jimmy: every roadtrip needs stops Janis: I need you Jimmy: I've got a plan not to do any for ages, then Cass'll be well keen to get out when we finally get there Jimmy: she'll piss off and it'll be me and you for a bit Janis: I can work with a bit Janis: I'll take it Janis: it feels like ages since I've seen you, proper ages Jimmy: I know it does Jimmy: haven't taken a breath since I saw you last so Janis: Baby Janis: I hurt too Janis: I'll make you feel better and you'll make me feel Janis: everything Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: it'll be better than I 🖋 it Janis: always is Janis: and you're really fucking good at writing it so Jimmy: you're really fucking good at everything Janis: I do my best Jimmy: it's the best Jimmy: not that I'm a massive slag obvs Janis: I promise I won't get jealous if you were Janis: much Jimmy: just throwing a few lasses under the bus Janis: I don't need to try no one else to know Janis: how you are and how you do it is exactly how I want it Jimmy: you're not allowed to say you're shit at words any more Janis: okay 🤐 on that Janis: as long as I can use my words to tell you how good you are Jimmy: if you can get 'em out Janis: Fuck Janis: I was planning on 'til I could show you but you are making that harder and harder Jimmy: how am I so sorry but also not sorry Janis: I'll still be this wet for you when you get here, if not more Janis: you don't need to be sorry Jimmy: I'll be sorry that if I drive any faster I'll get arrested then Janis: Slow Janis: be good Janis: I'm waiting, I'll be waiting, so patiently Jimmy: fuck Janis: I really missed you Jimmy: I can't be this far away from you Janis: I'll stay Jimmy: you have to Janis: keep giving me a reason to stay Jimmy: I'll give you whatever you want Janis: you Jimmy: as much as you want then Janis: all of you Janis: all the time Jimmy: take it Janis: tell me again Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: just take it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: it's what I want too Janis: you want me to have you Janis: you wanna be mine Jimmy: you know I do Janis: you won't regret it Jimmy: I know I won't Janis: I'll look after you how you deserve Janis: make you feel as good as you are Jimmy: it's already been more Janis: I've only just started Jimmy: track 1, yeah Janis: track 1 Jimmy: this is really happening, isn't it? Janis: either that or I've died Janis: but I'm never getting rewarded like this so yeah Jimmy: you've not yet, baby Jimmy: but if I'm having a dream I will be fuming Janis: do you dream about me Jimmy: Yeah Janis: I dream about you too Jimmy: I have done since I first talked to you Jimmy: not this, that'd be weird Janis: Weird is fine Janis: you can't help what you dream Janis: or what it does to you Jimmy: you've been in my head for ages Jimmy: from when I got here Janis: I can't say I'm sorry Janis: you mean the school trip? Jimmy: I mean what I said Janis: You noticed me Jimmy: There were a before and you were fit and mysterious in it Janis: well Janis: that was clearly mutual but I don't win any prizes as you were the new boy too Jimmy: Lasses just don't look like you Jimmy: as beautiful as you are Jimmy: that being on the telly rumour should've been about you Janis: maybe you can make me speechless from there Jimmy: then we did that bollocks project and you were so Janis: it was Janis: you were an arsehole but in a way I've never known a boy to be, not standard, boring Janis: its like, everyone else could be following a fucking script, all the same scenes with all the same characters Janis: but I couldn't predict you, you changed shit Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: nobody'd spoken to me like that Jimmy: I thought it was like being back up north but it wasn't Janis: I wanted to keep talking to you Jimmy: I forgot where I were for a bit Jimmy: those two Jimmy: all of it Janis: Yeah Janis: forgot who I was Janis: my role, anyway Jimmy: the one they put me in an' all Janis: maybe we're not that now Janis: don't have to be Jimmy: I don't want it, I'm not new for them, I'm new for you 'cause you did something Janis: Fuck them Janis: fuck all of 'em but us Jimmy: there's nobody but you Janis: I don't know how that's true but I know I believe you Jimmy: 👻 they can't see me and I only see you Janis: we can keep it that way Jimmy: it is, I didn't see what Becca were like 'cause she's barely there Janis: you're too good for everyone, I think Jimmy: did you ever see that kid's show where the kid had a watch or some bollocks and he stopped time from going? Janis: yeah, know the one you mean Jimmy: it's like everyone's stopped and you're the only one that's moving Jimmy: and I can move with you, but when you're not about, I'm stopped an' all Janis: stay with me Janis: I like it when it's just you and me Janis: other people can stay stopped forever for all I care Jimmy: and we'll piss about moving 'em into weird positions if we want but most of the time we'll just leave 'em to it Janis: yeah, obviously it's our fun first but it's for their own good too Janis: they'll just be making a mess of their lives otherwise and we haven't got time to care or worry Jimmy: too right Janis: at least we could fuck on Mia's bed again that way Jimmy: she's our BFF now we could drop in there in a bit Janis: only if we're pretending we've been on a romantic getaway post-festival Jimmy: easily done Janis: we can tell her all about it in detail Jimmy: she can act it out method with her dad when we've gone Janis: 😂 oh no Janis: if I never have to see her again, it'll be too soon Janis: her da, as well, soz creep Jimmy: and his girlfriends profiles Jimmy: burned into my 👀 Janis: they were fine ambitious young ladies keen to get ahead Jimmy: told you the 😎 were medical, that's all I'm saying Janis: omg babe you're so smart Janis: blackmail AND a lawsuit Jimmy: BABY Jimmy: where have you been all my life? Janis: pissing about with time travel waiting for someone to play with Janis: obvs Jimmy: well chuffed to meet you after my death Janis: your ghost sex skills are next level so not even mad Jimmy: don't have to touch you, but I properly wish I could Janis: you friggin' better Jimmy: stop pissing about and freeze these other cars, would you? Janis: clearly a range limit on this bullshit magic watch Jimmy: meant to get what you pay for, rich girl Jimmy: did you nick it or what? You can tell me Janis: from that nerdy kid Janis: what was he using it for anyway? Janis: bullshit is what Jimmy: 😂 Janis: your laugh Janis: 10/10 Jimmy: [sends her a voice memo of him loling cos I like to imagine he told Cass to shout slags out the car window or something and she really loudly did] Janis: 😍 Janis: can be secret bonus track Jimmy: alright Jimmy: what's the album art? Janis: 🤔 Janis: how are you in front of the 📸 Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: we'll have to work that out Janis: you'll have to teach me to be behind it too Jimmy: you gonna listen to me? Janis: tempted Jimmy: I won't be fuming if it turns out you've got a bit of an artistic temperament Janis: I know what you like Janis: so I know how to get you in the position I really want Jimmy: there's not loads I can teach you by the sounds of it Janis: you have Janis: you just didn't know you were at the time Jimmy: do you mean that? Janis: yeah Jimmy: but Janis: ? Jimmy: how have I? Jimmy: you know everything Janis: I never Janis: well, I'd actually never had sex with anyone before Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: that dickhead from the party Janis: I didn't sleep with him Janis: never have Jimmy: you said Jimmy: didn't you say that you were? Janis: It's embarrassing but, fuck it Janis: we'd make out whenever we met up, and I'd get him off and he'd feel me up but that was as far as it went Janis: that night, at that party Janis: I tried to feel something, if I did, then I would've fucked him Janis: but I didn't so Jimmy: so you're just Jimmy: that 🥇 Jimmy: alright then Janis: you make me feel things Janis: you can just through kissing Janis: hell, just through a look Janis: he couldn't, no one I ever kissed did Jimmy: yeah I remember when it were only that Jimmy: no lass is that good at faking Janis: shut up, nothing fake about your reaction either Jimmy: never said it were Janis: be nice then Janis: I'm 💀💀💀 Jimmy: don't 💀💀💀 Janis: it's rude how good you are Janis: how was I meant to not feel anything Jimmy: I'm not sorry Janis: me either now Jimmy: all them sounds you like, I weren't making them before Jimmy: not how I do now Janis: they can be just for me Jimmy: they are Jimmy: I used to be 🔉 Janis: if I was nice, I'd say I was sorry for your exes for missing out Janis: but I'm really not Jimmy: she'd say I was crap and she's well rid probably Jimmy: there's reasons she fucked half the north and some of 'em are to do with me Janis: then she's more mad than me Jimmy: when I said headcases might be my type, weren't lying Janis: try not to be offended, like Jimmy: just don't 💀💀💀 yet, alright? Janis: not gonna top myself Janis: the madness ain't that real Jimmy: Shakespeare not Austen, I get it Janis: shh Jimmy: and no dickhead's at the Bronte level Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: Maybe I was lying about my type Jimmy: nah Jimmy: your type is me Jimmy: you just admitted it Janis: not regretting that at all Jimmy: are you? Janis: no, idiot Jimmy: telling me, I mean Jimmy: 'cause I get why you didn't before Janis: I mean, obviously there was loads of shit I couldn't tell you before Janis: because we weren't saying anything Janis: but that was because I didn't want it to be different, 'cos you were freaked out Janis: I don't care if you know now, I wanted you to Jimmy: I weren't gonna throw 🌹 petals at you, girl Jimmy: it were good, I know it was Janis: you might not have done it though, thinking I wanted that Jimmy: not that thick, it was well obvious what you wanted Janis: great Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: 'course Jimmy: nowt else matters, we both wanted to Janis: and it was good Jimmy: so I don't care Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: except being chuffed that you didn't fuck that twat 'cause that's what he is Janis: hadn't escaped my notice Jimmy: got my own party twats up my sleeve, can't really say owt Janis: you can say what you like Janis: not buzzing about it myself but was what it was Jimmy: I'll hit him harder next time if you like Jimmy: make him feel something Janis: You can't hit everyone who doesn't turn me on Janis: as we've covered, it's just you Janis: you've got enough to be getting on with Jimmy: get your magic watch out and we've got loads of time Janis: still rather you put your hands to better use Janis: my magic, my rules Jimmy: UGH fine 🙄😏 Janis: I know Janis: another job Jimmy: might feel 🎻🎻 for him anyway Jimmy: he don't turn Mia on either Jimmy: that's her daddy Janis: he won't mind standing in Janis: must be his kink Jimmy: keep his 🔒 tah very much Janis: 🤐 Janis: 🤞 Mia doesn't make him do a boyfriend Q&A any time soon Jimmy: she'd have to do him a script first Jimmy: oh and he'd actually have to be her boyfriend Janis: no dating 'til daddy says so, probs Janis: don't give her 👻🖋 deets Jimmy: when we go over hers we should nick her phone Jimmy: the 🗨 must be Janis: actually dread to think Janis: starts off as a joke, fully ends up being forwarded to the police Jimmy: I am the 👮🚔 mate Janis: right Janis: but bit pot kettle ain't it Jimmy: ain't my fault you Lolita-ed me Janis: well I've seen that one Janis: both versions Janis: and you were never my stepdad, tah Jimmy: 'course you have Janis: rude Janis: my sister was obssessed with it, not me Jimmy: Grace? Janis: ew, not that one Janis: if it's not got a 2 star or lower rating, she ain't watching Jimmy: I were gonna say Janis: bet she has the sunglasses though Jimmy: who don't? Jimmy: 💕 mine Janis: 😂 Janis: 🖤 though, right Jimmy: duh Jimmy: my lungs an' all Janis: got to match your accessories to your disease Jimmy: ✔ Janis: we done here then? Jimmy: what? Janis: you need to work on your 👋s Janis: so blunt Jimmy: Why are you trying to stop my 🖤? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: awh, baby Jimmy: not an answer Janis: I didn't mean to Janis: swear on your 👂s Jimmy: what's left of 'em Janis: so dramatic Jimmy: I can't say owt I'm all in black Jimmy: if I were a lass my eyeliner'd be so thick Janis: rookie error Janis: if you want sympathy you gotta wear 'none' so you look like 💀 and they know how serious the situation is Jimmy: trying to get you to come back not leg it further away Jimmy: there's been enough of 💀 lasses to last ages Janis: well you can count it as a win, like Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: how far are you now Jimmy: [a location] Janis: Hmpf Janis: I'm gonna walk a bit then, see how far I can get Jimmy: another downside to the black I'm covered in 🐕 hair Jimmy: just reminded us Janis: hot Janis: you tryna put me off again? Jimmy: you don't miss her then? 🐕💔 gutted Janis: shh Janis: don't tell her Jimmy: if I don't, what are you gonna do for me? Janis: I can tell you how you're the only person or creature I've missed? Jimmy: go on Janis: I've only thought about you since I've been gone Janis: where you were, what you were doing, if you were thinking about me at all Jimmy: I've been doing nowt but thinking about you Janis: I'm sorry Janis: but also not not glad, you know Jimmy: it's alright, you're all I wanna think about Janis: but I know it weren't good things Jimmy: it were though Jimmy: I told you, I do my own head in, it ain't you Jimmy: and I know I fucked up Janis: I didn't have to be so Janis: well, I did Janis: I wanted to be worse but Jimmy: I've been a massive dickhead an' all Jimmy: I get it Janis: I just wish I'd smacked her instead of all this Jimmy: I thought your sister were gonna when she 👀 us Janis: still might Janis: get one of the others to serve her for a while I reckon Jimmy: could win her over with my latte 🎨? Janis: what are you gonna do Janis: 'soz 💗' Jimmy: take a chapter out of our kid's book Janis: 😏 Jimmy: don't listen to a word of it Jimmy: got loads of lasses in my phone, me Janis: 👌 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what? Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: taking the piss Janis: I ain't Janis: how thrilled you want me to be that you're such a lad, not your dad Jimmy: it's your type, Jasmine Janis: oh yeah Janis: so you've told me Jimmy: there's that enthusiasm Janis: you want fake 😍 I can do it all day Jimmy: not @ me, you can't, first off Jimmy: second, you know what I want Janis: Yeah Janis: but I can't lie Janis: if I had a type, it weren't you Janis: you're beyond that bullshit Janis: league of your own, like, it's ridiculous Jimmy: I said it first, no lasses I've ever seen are as beautiful as you Jimmy: on screen or off Jimmy: dunno how my 📷 didn't break Janis: you're so Jimmy: it's not just that though Jimmy: we've always had a right laugh even doing that bollocks project Jimmy: and on that school trip where I didn't wanna fucking be Janis: no one treats me like that Janis: like a person Jimmy: if they can't handle it, that's their 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: 'cause you're a top person Janis: yeah, you're pretty sound too Jimmy: @cassthelass Jimmy: not what she's saying Janis: have to win her back 'round Janis: take full babysitting responsibilities and let her fuck off for a while Jimmy: she wants me to smack this teacher for her when we go back Jimmy: might do, he sounds like a right bellend Janis: could assume as much from being a teacher Janis: what'd he do though Jimmy: they had this homework and she didn't know they'd have to read it out when she wrote it so when he tried to make her she kicked off Jimmy: he reckoned the right thing to do would be to take her book off her and read it out to everyone anyway Jimmy: they all took the piss, obvs Jimmy: including him, she says Janis: definitely a smackable offense then Janis: fuck that Jimmy: you'll alibi me, yeah? Janis: duh Janis: what are girlfriends for but lying and making excuses for you Jimmy: lying and making excuses to you? but that might just be my ex Janis: can if you like Janis: reckon anyone but you will believe I've just popped to the shop? Jimmy: Depends who you mean Jimmy: we can make the #fans believe owt Janis: get on it then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [on the socials like there's nothing to see here peeps just flirting like old times] Janis: they'll never know Jimmy: 🥇 me Jimmy: lying, excuses, owt you want Janis: I know Janis: not gonna go out with someone 🥉 Jimmy: you wouldn't have left with him if he had come to the festival Janis: is that a question or Jimmy: does it need a ? Janis: nah Jimmy: Nah you wouldn't or nah you don't want it to be a question? Janis: nah it don't need to be a question Janis: 'cos you're not him, you're you Jimmy: yeah but you were fuming at me Jimmy: and you reckoned me and Becca were Janis: that's not the story we're telling though Janis: obviously Jimmy: Alright Janis: even if you and her were Janis: not like I was allowed to be angry a you anyway Jimmy: didn't stop me when I thought you and him were Janis: didn't stop me either Janis: but if you wanted to, couldn't stop you or say shit Janis: we were just mates so Jimmy: yeah but I'd do owt for you Janis: That wouldn't have been a dead giveaway Janis: oh yeah, can you just not fuck her, or her, or her Janis: anyway, I thought you might like her Jimmy: you just didn't wanna say it first Jimmy: bit rude, girl Janis: 1. not true, boy 2. what was my 'strop' that you were really receptive to if not saying it, dickhead Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆💕 Janis: I don't want it Janis: I'm trying to explain Jimmy: You will want it, baby Jimmy: but go on Janis: You're so rude Jimmy: I'm listening well intently Jimmy: talk to me Janis: Well now I'm distracted by all the things I could be saying now I have your attention Jimmy: well now I wanna hear 'em all Janis: we can just forget about all that mess and everyone else, can't we Jimmy: nowt I want more Jimmy: except you Janis: Good Janis: we're on the same 📖 now Jimmy: we have been for ages we just never said Janis: yeah Janis: s'weird Janis: but good weird Jimmy: as first boyfriend's go Jimmy: I'll make sure it goes alright Janis: 😏 Janis: no pressure or anything Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 Janis: you can be shit Janis: aside from being my type Janis: makes for a better storytime, yeah Jimmy: I don't wanna though Jimmy: I'm shit at the rest of what I've got going on Janis: shut up Janis: you ARE barista boy Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: and nowt really to do with me Jimmy: I could muck up every single order and still get tips Jimmy: that fit and mysterious, like Janis: well, I like the smoothies Jimmy: they're not on the menu, just make 'em for you Janis: that's 💕 Jimmy: the ones that are have loads of bollocks you wouldn't like in Jimmy: not gonna do that to you, my dear Janis: stop being so cute Jimmy: lasses first Janis: well serious Janis: if I'm gonna keep living my life you'll have to tone it down or I'm getting fuck all done Jimmy: oi, what else have you got on other than being my muse? Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you can do that lounging about, don't have to get dressed or nowt Jimmy: be like that other famous Leo film Janis: either way, I'm 💀 you when I'm over it Jimmy: we wouldn't both be fitting on that door Jimmy: too tall, you Janis: yeah but you're tiny Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about Janis: 🤐🤐 Janis: buy my silence Jimmy: with what? Janis: get rid of my horrible rich fiance for me Jimmy: easy Janis: and my cunty ma Jimmy: even easier Jimmy: like I said, mums never stay about when I am Janis: blessing in this case Jimmy: and all cases up til now Janis: 👍 Janis: k, you can fuck me in the fancy car then, Leo Jimmy: hang on, I'll just trade in this shitty volvo Janis: ⏲ Jimmy: How far have you walked then? Janis: [new location] Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you haven't Janis: did a bit of running too Jimmy: What the fuck do you get up to when I ain't distracting you? Jimmy: that's Janis: eh, lot of thinking about you, like I said Janis: and I told you I wanted to see you now Jimmy: you're so Janis: desperate? Janis: give you that one Jimmy: impressive Janis: ( . _ . ) Janis: my head Jimmy: should've gone with inspiring Jimmy: for the 🎨 Janis: hidden talents, I know Janis: ( . u . ) Janis: more accurate Jimmy: Gonna get Cass to tattoo that on me, hang on Jimmy: bound to be a needle in this car somewhere Janis: can't wait 'til that gets all infected Janis: look so 😎🚬 babe Jimmy: you just wanna nurse me again Janis: maybe Jimmy: maybe it's your turn to be nursed though Janis: just don't drop me Jimmy: I won't Janis: okay Janis: let's look after each other Jimmy: okay Janis: if you get ay shit tattoos though Janis: you will have to cover then before you see me Jimmy: I'll leave the marks to you Janis: you might regret promising that Jimmy: doubt it Janis: there's not enough space to show you how much I need you Jimmy: you'll work something out Janis: what if I don't? Janis: I really need you to know, like Jimmy: if you can't show me any more, you'll just have to tell me Janis: I'll try Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: not shit with words, remember Janis: until I see you then I just Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: whatever you wanna do is Janis: I wanna just Janis: be, you know Janis: for long as we can Jimmy: we don't have to go straight back, you know Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: if you don't wanna Jimmy: Ian'll have his hands full with the kid Jimmy: can't shop me if he can't get any time to himself for it Janis: what about your sister and shit Janis: I ain't been staying in no hotel, like Jimmy: she won't mind us taking the long way round Jimmy: getting lost for a bit is what I do Janis: alright Janis: if you're sure Janis: fuck all I'm going back to Jimmy: there we go then Jimmy: don't worry about Cass, that's my job Janis: 👍 Jimmy: she said you're alright, for a lass Jimmy: I reckon that means you can close both eyes Janis: 🙏 Janis: first time in a while, cheers Jimmy: you are alright though? Janis: 'course I am Janis: and you are Jimmy: you know what kind of question it were Jimmy: and why I'm asking it Janis: I've done this before Janis: know what I'm doing Jimmy: I've stolen this car before, don't mean it's nowt Janis: Honest Jimmy: promise then Janis: I promise Janis: being away ain't what fucks you, it's the whys, and that's sorted now Jimmy: I just Jimmy: there'd be no point to nowt if you weren't here Janis: I am Janis: I will be Jimmy: and if owt happened to you 'cause of me Jimmy: with that being how we left it Janis: nothing did, it's okay Janis: and we ain't leaving it there, fuck that Jimmy: I'm so sorry Janis: Shh, you don't need to apologize now, it's all sorted Janis: we're good Jimmy: right Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: you don't need to explain Janis: it's a lot Janis: from nothing to this Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [the longest pause while he gets his shit together] Janis: no rush Janis: not pissing it down today 💔 Jimmy: Alright fine, I'll spit at you when I see you Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 🤤 Janis: you Janis: 😥 me Jimmy: Baby Janis: not a 😍 face with water on soz Janis: well into it, obvs Jimmy: Duh, who wouldn't be? Janis: idk, virgins probs 🙄 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Dans gonna be gutted Jimmy: when he broke up with that girl, we all were Janis: I meant 'cos bucktooth practically promised him the job of deflowering me but way to rock my world there Janis: dropping like flies Jimmy: What was her name? Cheryl? 💔 about that an' all tbh Jimmy: nowt's in a name but Janis: her ma had taste Janis: runs in the family Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: I can't fight him Janis: 'cos he's well 💪? Jimmy: obvs the sexual tension would well get in the way Janis: fine, I'll punch the puppy in the face Janis: good 👮 bad 👮 Jimmy: you're decent to have about, give you that Janis: high praise indeed Jimmy: I'm not far now Jimmy: you'll 👂🎶 soon Janis: wait 'til Cass has gone though Janis: I'm alright for a girl and you ain't bringing me down Jimmy: she's got a point Jimmy: as lasses go, you're not bad Janis: 🥇 or nothing Jimmy: you'll do til I get 👴💕 Janis: Appreciate it 😏 Jimmy: you will if you don't already Janis: trust me, I plan to do a lot of appreciating Janis: not just missed your charming personality, like Jimmy: I heard some dickhead can make you feel things with a look, gonna give that a go once I ain't having to watch for 🚔 Janis: are your eyes like his Jimmy: Dunno, what are his like? Janis: fuck Janis: you've got to see them some time Janis: really dark but really warm Janis: like you'll never know what he's thinking but you also know exactly what he's thinking Janis: like that Jimmy: they sound alright but I don't reckon it'll be worth breaking eye contact with you to have a look Jimmy: and there's loads of you left to look at after that if I did so Janis: It's alright, I don't wanna share him really Jimmy: I'm not bothered, he don't sound like enough of a lad for me Janis: well you'll be even more disappointed if you reckon I am Jimmy: just saying, sounds like he'd write poetry or some bollocks and always be kissing and touching you all the time Jimmy: really slowly Jimmy: like he drives Janis: don't you wanna kiss and touch me all over Janis: or just look? Jimmy: Depends what it feels like when I look Janis: he's a lot to beat Janis: you'll know when you do though Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: I hope you do Janis: I need to be touched Jimmy: [🔥 sext 4? I think lol about all the touching he's gonna do] Janis: Jesus Janis: I love how you do everything so slowly but you are killing me Janis: you know that Jimmy: I feel like I could 💀💀💀 right now Jimmy: just thinking about you Janis: just imagine how good feeling me is gonna be Jimmy: fuck Janis: my favourite place is in your lap Jimmy: if you were here now you'd really like it Janis: exactly Janis: when I can feel how hard you are Jimmy: if it's not now I don't wanna say it Janis: knowing that it's all for me Jimmy: I want you to know everything Jimmy: feel everything Janis: I want to feel you Jimmy: I need to feel you too Janis: I told you, I'm just getting more and more ready for you here Janis: there's no hiding it Jimmy: have a word with that god mate of yours Jimmy: I can't be this close and not be this close to the street you're on Janis: It's so unfair Janis: but we've got time now, yeah, so if we cum on sight, I'm not mad Jimmy: I'll be a bit Janis: well, you know Janis: try to wait 'til we're alone and you're inside me at least Jimmy: it is something a first boyfriend would do, if I can't Janis: it's been too long Jimmy: ages Janis: not allowed to leave it this long again alright Jimmy: suits me Janis: promise Jimmy: I do Janis: you're gonna fuck me, every day? Jimmy: at least Janis: Good Janis: you know what I want Jimmy: might as well do all night an' all, never get any sleep any road, do we? Janis: yeah Janis: but maybe we can wear each other out Jimmy: you up for that challenge? Janis: yes Jimmy: famed for my stamina, me Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: I know Janis: but don't I always look after you? Jimmy: Yeah Janis: then that's what I'll do, I'll fuck you so long and so good you'll have to have the best night's sleep, ever Jimmy: that's actually proper romantic Janis: 😏 Janis: I mean it though Jimmy: I know Janis: remember how sleepy you were Janis: after the ice bath Jimmy: it were like being a kid Janis: in what way Jimmy: you know when you wanna stay up but you just can't Janis: yeah Janis: you have to fight to keep your eyes open but you feel all fuzzy anyway, like you're half in sleep Jimmy: right Janis: I get it Jimmy: Did I say tah for that? Janis: I'm sure you did Janis: not doing it or bringing it back up for that though, don't worry, like Jimmy: I still can't believe you did that for me Jimmy: any of it Janis: why wouldn't I Jimmy: people don't Jimmy: when it's your own fault Janis: that doesn't matter to me Janis: you're not that much of a dickhead Janis: you don't need to be hurting like that Jimmy: I am though, and you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect nowt to come back Janis: nah, no one is that bad Jimmy: 🤞 next time I won't be so pissed Jimmy: can look after myself better Janis: what's the story then Janis: who'd you piss off Jimmy: surrounded by knobheads, not news, is it? Janis: nah, guess not Jimmy: nowt to worry about once I stop sleeping in fields Janis: not up for the next one then? Janis: gutted Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: 1. how much of a lad Asia's bringing 2.🌧 3. if I get to have a makeover this time Janis: 😏 Janis: you can get tarted up with the best waterproof makeup money can buy to steal Asia's man Janis: before he runs, anyway Janis: how's that? Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: Wonder about you, boy, really do Jimmy: I heard how often you think about me, yeah Janis: piss off 😂 Jimmy: hang on, I'll just turn this car around Jimmy: see you Jimmy: been good but goodbye Janis: don't Janis: just be nice Jimmy: I can't even fake that I'm about to Janis: no faking either Jimmy: few more streets then it'll get well real Janis: 🙏🙏🙏 Jimmy: Oi Janis: ? Jimmy: I didn't get lost Jimmy: say something Janis: OMG Janis: babe Janis: actually though Janis: 👏👏👏 Jimmy: would @iantaylor8 to finally be proud of me an' all but don't want him knowing where I am Jimmy: the speech is all on you, Jules Jimmy: hope you iced a cake Janis: no pressure Janis: maybe circle those last few streets a couple of times, yeah Jimmy: I've had Cass' heartfelt 🙄 Jimmy: it's loads to try and top Janis: damn Janis: I'll have to think of something really 💕 Jimmy: soz babe Janis: if you're happy I'm happy, babe Janis: and not scared of a challenge ever Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: does sound like you though Janis: if you're 😒 I'm 😒 Janis: better? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: but it makes me wanna kiss you Janis: that's not a bad thing Jimmy: you've kissed loads of lads before haven't you? Janis: not really Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: so that's something else you're just well good at then Janis: I don't know Janis: I only like it when it's you so maybe you're just that good Jimmy: it weren't a question, dickhead Jimmy: I know the answer Jimmy: you're 🥇 Jimmy: It ain't me 'cause it would've been that good with everyone else Janis: not for me Janis: it weren't like bad Janis: just like, actual faking Jimmy: that I've kissed, I mean 'cause it weren't this good for me with them either Janis: oh Janis: I think you're good, even if I don't have as many to compare you to Jimmy: not that I have loads Janis: how long were you with your girlfriend Jimmy: ages Janis: makes sense then Jimmy: what does? Janis: why your body count ain't higher Jimmy: I'm not actually 45 Jimmy: or a SLAG Jimmy: that's also why Janis: well yeah Janis: but you're also fit Jimmy: what my DMs tell me day in and out Janis: Baby Janis: can always go psycho on 'em for you Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: you are though Janis: but I know what you mean Jimmy: it's why I picked you Jimmy: 'cause you do know what I mean Janis: and 'cos I'm well fit Jimmy: obviously Janis: I'm glad you did Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: not that I reckoned you'd go for it Janis: you must've thought I was mental Jimmy: like I'd have a leg to stand on with that Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: true Jimmy: and we've covered that mental's my type so I would've been too 😍😍 to think of nowt Janis: Charming as ever, dickhead Janis: what did you think, actually Jimmy: How far back? Janis: Well, now I wanna know first impressions too Janis: but when I agreed to the plan Jimmy: when we get home I'll show you my first impression, if you want Janis: intriguing Jimmy: when you agreed to the plan I was chuffed there were a plan and that it were you Jimmy: 'cause we'd done the project, like I said, and it didn't make me wanna top myself Jimmy: I reckoned it'd probably go alright, for a bit Janis: it kinda worked Janis: as much as it ever were Jimmy: yeah but I didn't expect you to be so Jimmy: for us together to be like Janis: can't say I predicted that either Janis: very inconvenient, actually Jimmy: I had a crack at it, I reckoned I'd thought about every way that kissing you that first time could possibly go but then Janis: I thought I didn't even need to Janis: be the same as every other kiss, non-event Janis: but nope Jimmy: I was such a dick to you about it Jimmy: you were meant to tell me it weren't worth the hassle and you couldn't even fake it Jimmy: bit rude of you not to Janis: I couldn't then Janis: not that I can now Janis: I mean, the plan was, to get what I needed from the plan, then do one, regardless if you got what you needed Janis: but you fucked that all up so yeah, very rude Jimmy: I were geared up for it to either be crap or just alright, even for you to freeze up on me, not for it to feel like Jimmy: that were my plan out the bloody window and then you didn't even have the decency to let me out of it Jimmy: very rude is right Janis: I didn't like you that much from one kiss, soz Janis: I wanted to do a lot more of it, but not 'cos you were so lovely Jimmy: as I said, we've been on the same page for ages Janis: in that fucking bunkbed Janis: Jesus, I wanted you bad Jimmy: if they hadn't been there Jimmy: I would've just Janis: you can show me that too, yeah Jimmy: I had no idea it were possible to want someone that bad Janis: guess usually you don't have to stop at what we had to Janis: whilst pretending you're doing what you wanna Jimmy: I dunno, I've had to stop before Jimmy: it weren't the same Janis: okay Janis: I can believe it Janis: felt like I was dying Janis: in a really good way Jimmy: I can believe that Jimmy: it's how I feel now in this fucking car Janis: I'll be in there too soon Jimmy: there were so many bits of it where I near said or did Jimmy: something Janis: Me too Janis: thought when we finally admitted we wanted to fuck, that would fix everything Jimmy: I had my 🤞 an' all Jimmy: we might be great romantics, girl, but I don't reckon we can call ourselves geniuses Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: them bad ideas were still some of my best ones Jimmy: 💔 we can't tell anyone about this Jimmy: it'd be a 🥇💰💰💰 film Janis: probably say it's too far-fetched Janis: outdid ourselves again 💪 Jimmy: it'd have to be american, they always take things too far Jimmy: and fuck that Jimmy: what kind of accent Janis: you'd be on the football team instead of me Janis: such bullshit Jimmy: I wanna wave the pom poms Jimmy: so rude Janis: I'll get you the costume, baby Jimmy: I'll never take it off Jimmy: not just 'cause I'm a dutiful missus but we can fake it's only that and not for Ian's heart attack, piece of piss, like Janis: get that story straight for the inquest Jimmy: but don't delete your socials yet, can only handle so many 💔 at a time Janis: Duh, what's the point in murder if you can't post not so cryptic statuses about it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you better 🤣 that shit Jimmy: play track 1 Jimmy: hang on, nah that was the hidden bonus track, weren't it? Janis: mhmm Janis: fake fan Janis: 🥇 president of the fanclub, me Jimmy: real fan who can't think proper Janis: I'll let you off Janis: as you're letting me sit in on the live recording of #1 Jimmy: and every track after Janis: 😍 Janis: promise Jimmy: get ready to recreate them 😍 IRL Jimmy: I reckon we're here Janis: [just 👀 into cars like hello? 'til she spots them] Jimmy: [making Cass get out cos he can't even cos just dying like 😍😍] Janis: [seriously, this gon' be SO tense but luckily in a 😍 way not a way like before, poor Cass though lmao] Jimmy: [go stretch your legs and get some car snacks gal you don't need to see any of this] Janis: [like we're not exchanging pleasantries here there's no time] Jimmy: [not soz because I can only imagine how long this convo would've been going if it was real time like she was FAR] Janis: [exactly, and we are highkey and in love so] Jimmy: [literally that] Janis: [like hope this street isn't full of people lol] Jimmy: [yeah I hope you at least parked it somewhere with as much privacy as possible because we're not stopping] Jimmy: [I just imagine a lil Irish village and like some Miss Marple type bitches just living their lives and I'm cackling tbh] Janis: [they will be thriving enjoy the show] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [we're probably gonna need to skip aren't we] Jimmy: [mhmm we know the only thing that's happening rn] Janis: [as much as we love it] Jimmy: [have some coupley af time in this tiny village full of 👵 before you gotta drive again] Janis: [get an ice cream, v famous five] Jimmy: [ginger beer] Janis: [lmao, fat mood] Jimmy: [get some tea too you love it] Janis: [must be done, lowkey have you eaten much this past however long, get on it] Jimmy: [we know you haven't, we know what you're like] Janis: [the #dramatics are so real] Jimmy: [they are which is why he would've brought her clothes cos all she had was from the festival like are they wet or muddy we don't know, probably] Janis: [and just slightly inappropriate to be walking around in lol] Jimmy: [he's got your back babe] Janis: [as if you weren't already so overwhelmed we gotta hold back the emotions here] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [like you've been this extra and you're still holding back things I can't never change] Jimmy: [can't blame y'all 🔓 the backstories is an event and it's why you're like this] Janis: [we've only just begun to live] Jimmy: [I love it] Jimmy: [they need some kind of memento from this roadtrip even if they steal it but idk what it should be] Janis: [hmm I'm pondering] Jimmy: [me too] Janis: [maybe something music-related? steal a record or two] Jimmy: [that's a good idea boo] Janis: [for that ref but also shoving a record up your top would be blatant and they'd probably get chased so that too would be a moment they'd love lol] Jimmy: [I love that and how coupley of you to start a record collection together honestly] Janis: [ugh, nerds, be more #couplegoals] Jimmy: [seriously fuck you cs gal we know it's your dream but you're not having it you hipster hoe] Janis: [not with this boy sweaty] Jimmy: [not with any boy if that's how you conduct yourself] Janis: [sort yourself out my love, we aren't letting you near Pete] Jimmy: [you ain't gonna be the one he marries and has those kids with thank you] Janis: [can you imagine, like Pete no, we're never seeing you again missy] Jimmy: [I bloody love Pete] Janis: [don't we all but not really yet] Jimmy: [soon you will have mates and life will be everything, hang in there kids] Janis: [emosh for you both honestly] Jimmy: [hard same] Jimmy: [let's also take a moment for Cass living her best life just because she's not babysitting/around Ian's bs the bar is so low and you'll be living your best life with your lil bf soon too babe] Janis: [literally, we just want not shit all the time tah] Jimmy: [I was thinking that her and Janis should have a #bonding moment because something happens that she needs a girl for like she gets her period being the obvious cliche but whatever and it's like help] Janis: [a mood though, deffo] Janis: [and she is chill in a #crisis so you won't wanna die babe] Jimmy: [she's not Grace thank god] Janis: [imagine, Cass would murder you forrealz] Jimmy: [hence she's gonna be more team Janis after because the text was her being team Jimmy and wanting her to come back round for his sake like no offense she didn't give a fuck who you were but then it's like oh she's alright as a person not just his gf] Janis: [we building these relationships] Jimmy: [we sneaky like that] Janis: [we moving in lowkey already] Jimmy: [it's my fave thing because he's never like MOVE IN it happens so organically okay bye] Janis: [they just those bitches, so in love so easy] Jimmy: [literally like they're not gonna be like let's get married and have babies it'll just happen] Janis: [ugh bye, is there anything else we wanna specify before they go home] Jimmy: [we know the vibe, they in a happy bubble everything is bliss even boring af villages lol] Janis: [I'm good with that, potentially can leave this here then] Jimmy: [unless we wanna do any chatting on the way back yeah] Janis: [maybe just to be cute with it 'cos can't be saying loads of shit out loud making Cass 🤢] Jimmy: [can always type if you wanna be extra] Janis: [just grooving to tunes outwardly though, having some kind of fast-food car dinner] Jimmy: [living your best lives] Janis: hey Jimmy: afternoon Janis: alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: 😊 Jimmy: that is a decent representation of how you look, yeah Jimmy: [looks over at her to make the point like oh hey] Janis: [pulls ugly face that never is] Jimmy: [lols which we know is adorable] Janis: 😳 Janis: uncalled for Jimmy: it were you that did it Janis: yeah but Janis: now I miss you Jimmy: [gonna assume that she's in the front with him so gonna say that he reaches over and writes I miss you too on her but eyes on the road ty] Janis: [kisses where he wrote it] Janis: real shame your sister can't have a go driving, like Jimmy: she can when it's a bit quieter Jimmy: I had a go when I were her age Janis: umm Jimmy: what? Janis: you made promises for when we get back, so not tryna die out here Janis: not that you aren't a great teacher, obvs Jimmy: you said you weren't 🙀 of owt Janis: 😏 call it skeptical, but fine Janis: you wanna be all hot and capable Jimmy: I don't wanna be whatever the opposite is, tah Jimmy: sounds like Mr Lucas Jimmy: or my dad Janis: bit rude to put the loml in the same category as Ian Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes Janis: let me live a lie in peace Jimmy: [does IRL sarky 👌] Janis: #hater 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, I'm a lover if I'm owt Jimmy: clue's in the name, Jules Janis: I know Janis: 💘 Jimmy: 🌹 Janis: soz, ditched the flower crown on the way outta the ⛺ Jimmy: 💔😭 Janis: @godzilla Janis: think it was hers Jimmy: [pretends he's going to] Janis: we don't have to talk to them anymore, remember Jimmy: [exaggerated phew sigh and wipe of his forehead like a nerd as he pretends to delete everything he's pretending he wrote] Janis: [just shaking her head but in a loving way] Jimmy: [cue Cass shaking her head at both of y'all from the back] Janis: whoops Jimmy: [throws some kind of snacks at Cass like shut up] Janis: [when you and your siblings haven't had a relationship for years haha it's fine] Jimmy: [the cali fam breaks my heart bye] Janis: [texting someone rn, that is Grace, to say she's coming back, 'cos yep, feelings whomst] Jimmy: [we can do it if you want/ a convo between them] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [just 😍 while she's on her phone and can't see] Janis: [looking up like sorted] Jimmy: [holding her hand cos you just wanna] Janis: [squeezing it] Jimmy: [the most genuine smile ever] Janis: [right backatcha, boy] Janis: you're beautiful Jimmy: you Janis: just believe me Jimmy: I can't Janis: try to, yeah Janis: really really hard Jimmy: [squeezing her hand like okay] Janis: [bringing their hands up to her mouth so she can kiss his like okay, before turning to get snacks to chuck in his mouth] Jimmy: you're a really good girlfriend Janis: I didn't think I'd like it Janis: being called that Janis: but it's stupid how it makes me feel when you say it Jimmy: 💕 right? Janis: yeah Janis: something like that Jimmy: I get it Janis: you better Jimmy: I mean, I had it in my head that I weren't gonna do owt like this again Janis: well, I ain't gonna fuck you over Janis: know you can't promise shit like that, or people say you can't, but I am 'cos I won't, whatever happens Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: the bar's pretty low, just don't bother to fuck half of the town Janis: why would I Janis: when I've got you Jimmy: I dunno, do I? Jimmy: why do people do owt? Jimmy: loads of reasons Janis: yeah but I only wanna fuck you so Janis: not an issue Jimmy: Good Jimmy: can leave it out of the comic I'm gonna draw Janis: what comic? Jimmy: What kind of question's that? Jimmy: ain't drawn it yet Janis: it's a surprise Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: how x-rated were you planning on going though, just wondering Jimmy: [winks at her but then lols] Janis: [also loling, 'scuse them private jokes] Jimmy: [bit rude but we're not soz] Janis: [sure she's texting her mates and does not want to be involved in your shenanigans really] Jimmy: [we should let her have a go at driving though like if they're in the middle of nowhere once again] Janis: [yes, deffo] Jimmy: [though she smol as I discovered when I googled her height, not much taller than me] Janis: [I swear she doesn't look that smol] Jimmy: [we'll never know] Janis: [live ya dreams] Jimmy: [she should be a really bad driver though and they're like damn don't actually kill us] Janis: [#triggert] Jimmy: [we're not letting that happen lads don't worry] Janis: [that would be evil] Jimmy: [like do we wanna have them sleep in the car and go back tomorrow though like how far do you think this trip is?] Janis: [they could probably get home, even if it's late, I don't think anyone would've travelled more than a couple of hours or so for that festival so] Jimmy: [yeah we can say Cass falls asleep lying in the back like my little baby boo] Janis: [n'awh'ing at that but quietly 'cos want some alone time tbh] Jimmy: [nobody in that whole fam ever be sleeping well but Ian, you've done us a favour this once sir] Janis: [enjoy it gal] Jimmy: [shamelessly stopping somewhere so you can makeout we all know it] Janis: [deffo, better sit on the car instead of in it 'cos the levels of being bad at being quiet are through the roof rn] Jimmy: [we see through your flimsy excuses of needing a piss or petrol or whatever you're saying you're stopping for, we know it's been ages and you're extra] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [I can't even blame you what an emotional af day] Janis: [the relief, the intensity of all the emotions, gah] Jimmy: [add to that they're literally 15] Janis: [god bless and goodbye]

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