#(((but this one particular way—the way that emilie is most familiar with and the way that was ultimately going to kill her—

[jattendschaton]

Émilie Agreste purposefully giving Adrien an allergy to feathers to make sure her son would never be able to use the peacock miraculous in the future

#miraculous ladybug #emilie agreste #adrien agreste #I'm never quite sure what I think about emilie as a parent #but clearly she was aware of gabriel's obsessive tendencies #and maybe she didnt want him to be able to force adrien #(his son who he can literally control to do anything) #to wield the peacock miraculous #hard to do much miraculous-ing when you're sneezing every two seconds ! #she trusted her husband so little she had to magically prevent him from using his son (in this specific way) #((obviously gabriel has lots of other ways of controlling his son)) #(((but this one particular way—the way that emilie is most familiar with and the way that was ultimately going to kill her— #he cant have that way. she will protect adrien at least from this. at least from what killed her))) #that or it was just for the bit #who knows

[cloudlessly-light]

you should do something where like Emily may be left a book on the counter and aaron opens it up and reads a little bit of it and it’s pure smut and he gets like super turned on

A/N: Happy first day of the new year to all of you wonderful people! I hope you enjoy this little filth, I might not be able to write much in the coming weeks but I wanted to get this one out here to start the year off right with our favorite idiots in lust (and love) <3

Title: Tell me your favorite  Summary: Aaron doesn’t think much of it when he randomly picks up Emily’s book one day. What he reads, he certainly enjoys and he wants more.   Word Count: 2,6k Rating:  Explicit Warnings: Smut, oral sex, dirty talk, choking (quickly)

Emily had always loved to read. Ever since learning how to put the letters together to read the words in her colorful books she had loved storytelling and getting lost in other worlds. It was a love that would last a lifetime, starting as a young child in her bedroom reading about princesses and fairytales. As she got older she found herself lost in science fiction and strong heroines. Countless nights being spent imagining that she was in another realm or battling for what was right. It was her way to escape.

Then one day she randomly found the term erotica, and as a curious 19-year-old who hadn’t really seen the appeal of sex since losing her virginity way too young, she bought a book and read it in her dorm room.

She was instantly intrigued, and even though she still loved her female heroes and science fiction or even the occasional thriller, her collection of erotica also expanded. Even as she grew up, became older experienced what sex could really be like, and the thrills of it, she still loved to get lost in the fantasy of what was written on the pages.

It’s not something she hides, but she also doesn’t bring it up and when she moves in with Aaron he doesn’t seem to think much of the books he’s placing on their bookshelf in their new home. Most of them aren’t very telling, and even though she’s not ashamed of her books, she’s secretly happy that he can be looking at the cover of one of the filthiest books she owns and he doesn’t realize. It was something just for her, and even though she wouldn’t care much if he knew, she had never really shared that part of herself with anyone before.

“We’re going to need another bookshelf soon.” Aaron teases when she gets home one day, two new books added to her collection.

“I’ve been waiting for these for months.” She smiles and places one on a shelf and the other hand still in her hand as she makes her way towards their bedroom to be put on her bedside table.

“What is it about?” He grabs the book and inspects the cover that’s black, showing what looks like curtain ropes tied together. “This seems… dark.”

Emily bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smirking, that particular book a particularly kinky one that delves into BDSM dynamics.

“It can be.” She says and takes the book back and then loops her arms around his neck. She smiles when his warm hand immediately moves under the hem of her shirt to press her against him.

“Don’t you get enough of this at work, sweetheart?” His nose nuzzles hers and she shakes her head.

“Not that kind of dark.”

“Can you read it to me?” He mumbles against her lips and she hums, the sound content and low.

“Maybe some other time.” She kisses him, enjoys the way his familiar body feels against her for a moment as she gets lost in him. It’s not until they hear Jack’s bedroom door opening that she pulls away, knowing that the 8-year-old was most likely in search of food.

She doesn’t start her new book that night, too occupied by Aaron as he wrings pleasure from her body until they’re both exhausted.

A couple of weeks go by and they’ve finally gotten back from a case when she decides to start reading her new book. Aaron was going to come home late and Jack was at Jessica’s for the weekend. The thing with Emily was once she started reading, she sometimes had trouble stopping unless she was interrupted.

That’s how Aaron finds her asleep with the book on her chest, and he smiles at the sight. He often teased her about her almost complete oblivion to the outside world when she read, but in truth he loved that she could get so immersed in something.

He’s unsurprised to find her sitting at the kitchen island reading her book as she’s drinking her coffee the following morning. He takes a moment to simply look at her, how her dark eyes move over the sentences, her lips slightly pursed. But there’s something else, a slight blush on her cheeks, a look that was familiar to him, usually caused by him. And he’s even more intrigued than he had been before. He had always wondered about her books, but never really thought to read them. Until just then.

“Morning sweetheart.” He says, voice still rough from sleep and she finally notices him.

“Good morning,” She accepts the kiss he presses against her bare shoulder as he comes to stand behind her and she puts her book down on the counter. “when did you get home last night?” She turns her head to catch his lips in a gentle kiss.

“Late, but I finished everything I needed so we have the whole weekend for ourselves.” He laughs when she lights up. It was rare that they got two whole days just the two of them, and they both treasured them. “So I was thinking we’ll go to the store, I’ll cook tonight, maybe we can finally watch that new show Penelope raved about?”

“Ugh that sounds perfect honey.” She slides off the stool effortlessly. “I’ll shower and then we can go.”

“There’s no rush, we got all day.” He cups her cheek and when she kisses his palm he smiles at the simple gesture. “Go, I’ll make breakfast.”

He watches as she leaves, eyes moving over her body in only a tank top and shorts and he feels that familiar pull in his gut. But he ignored it, they’d have the rest of the day to enjoy each other. Instead he moves to the fridge, grabs eggs and butter and a few vegetables and then turns back to the counter to grab a knife from the drawer. That’s when he sees the book, and without thinking he picks it up.

He almost drops the milk as he reads a couple of sentences. The descriptions were sensual, full of dirty words as he skimmed over what could only be described as erotica. He knew that these kinds of books existed, but he had never imagined it was what Emily liked to read. Half a page down and he was turned on, that pull in his stomach by now intense as his mind pictured what he was reading, his body responding to it.

He doesn’t think as he starts to make his way through the house, tearing his shirt off on the way towards their bedroom. The sound of running water makes him go into the bathroom and he kicks his sweats off and the book lands on the sink.

“Honey, what are-” Emily is cut off by his lips against hers, his body pressing her into the cold tile and she gasps.

“So you like to read huh?” He whispers and for a moment she’s confused. Her eyes move over his face and then looks behind him to see the book on the sink and she feels her cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“Yeah, sometimes.” She feels his intense stare on her, then his fingers move under her chin to make her look at him.

“Don’t be ashamed.” His voice was graveled, his hard shaft pressing against her hip. “I like it too.” Without warning he pulls her out of the shower, ignoring that their wet bodies make a mess as he continues until she’s on the bed.

He’s quick to join her, his body covering hers as he pins her hands above her head and her legs spread for him to lay against her.

“Are all of them that kinky?” He mumbles between open-mouthed kisses against her neck, his teeth grazing over her fluttering pulse.

“No, I read everything.” She breathes, her head falling back against the bed as he bites gently on her shoulder. The vibration of his hum makes her shiver and she tries to free her hands, but his hold is too strong. “It can be romance, it can be kinky, it can be anything in between.”

Aaron grins, something feral as he moves up to watch her before kissing her, his tongue delving into her mouth to taste her soft moan.

“Tomorrow you’re going to read one of your favorites to me.” He says lowly when they break apart. When she nods he feels another rush of want tingling down his spine and he starts to move down her body. He presses kisses and light bites down her body, doesn’t stop until he’s kneeling on the floor and with strong arms he pulls her to the edge of the bed.

“Baby.” She gasps when he sucks on her thigh, maddeningly close to where she needs him. She feels his lips curl into a smile against her other thigh, his stubble rough against her soft skin and she whimpers. When he licks through her unexpectedly she moans, eyes closing as her hand finds its way to his hair to grasp at.

He groans at the taste of her, his tongue pushing inside of her before he licks over her clit. He had always loved the taste of her, could spend hours between her legs if she allowed it. Today was no different. He sucked lazily on her clit and when her hips pushed against his mouth he pressed two fingers inside of her.

“Fuck, so good.” She whispered as her fingers tightened slightly in his hair. His fingers curled and her hips buckled in response and when she looked down her breathing hitched at the way his eyes were blown black by lust.

Aaron flattened his tongue over her clit, massaged the little bud and he felt her slick walls tighten in response. He knew her body, could read her better than anybody and when her chest started to heave and her heel dug into his back he was quick to press his forearm over her hips to keep her still. Just like he knew, her hips rocked into him, her moans getting breather and louder, his name rolling of her tongue repeatedly. His fingers press against her spot and she mewls, her thighs trembling slightly as they close in around his head, keeping him in place as she gets closer to the edge.

“Don’t stop, fuck Aaron do not stop.” She mumbles desperately and then he flicks her clit quickly, and she comes so hard she forgets to breathe. Her body spasms as he continues, his tongue insistent on her clit, fingers sure as they continue to move and curl inside of her. He doesn’t stop until she’s panting and jerking away from his touch with a breathless laugh.

“How do you always taste so good?” His voice is low as he moves to hover above her, his lips and chin shiny from her and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip to chase the taste of her. When she kisses him, he’s quick to push his tongue against hers, knowing that she always loved the mix of them on his tongue.

She moans softly as he lays between her legs, his cock hard and hot and leaking and she sneaks her hand in between them. When she wraps her hand around him, he gasps and jerks against her touch.

“What do you want?” She asks, dark eyes wide as she swipes her tongue over the tip of him, only to spread his precum into his skin.

“Stay just like this.” He all but growls, his hand heavy against her sternum as he pushes her back as he gets on his knees between legs. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.” He smirks when her eyes move from where they watched the heavy weight of him on her pelvis. She licked her bottom lip as she stared up at him.

When he pushed inside of her it was slow and deep and the groan that left him sent goosebumps across her body. Her eyes fluttered closed when his hips pressed against hers and Aaron squeezed her hip warningly.

“Don’t tell me you can’t remember one simple rule?” He slowly bent down, his hand coming to wrap around her throat and she gasped. “Considering the filth you read I’m surprised you can’t seem to listen.” He whispered against her face as he continued to grasp her throat, but he didn’t squeeze. When Emily’s hips jerked in a wordless warning for him to start moving, his head fell to the side slightly and he smirked.

“You’re so impatient baby.” His voice was condescending and her hips rocked harder against him with a whine.

“Aaron, move.” She tried, her voice needy in a way she only got with him and the ego boost went straight to his cock. He squeezed around her throat in response and she whimpered.

“What do you say?” He grinned when she groaned in frustration and he let go of his hold, only to move his hand between their bodies and gently circle her clit. It had the desired effect and Emily moaned, her eyes closing and lips parting.

“Please.” She breathed and he chuckled lowly. He started to move, slowly thrusting in and out of her and she smiled at the feeling.

“Eyes on me, don’t make me tell you again.” He muttered and when she opened her eyes he groaned at the hazy look reflected in them. His hands were firm around her hips as they found a rhythm. It was long pushes of his hips, their sounds of pleasure mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin. He groaned as she clenched around him, her slick making him shiny as he looked down where they connected.

“You’re so wet sweetheart.” He whispered and she whined in response. Her eyes were still on him, heavy lidded and dark and Aaron was sure she had never looked sexier. She was gripping the sheets, the flush on her skin moving down to her chest.

“You’re going to make me come again.” She mumbled and he laid down again, catching her lips in a breathless kiss as he continued to thrust against her, his movements getting more frantic.

“Look at me when you come.” He grunted, his eyes locked on hers as she started to tense against him. When she came, it was with a broken moan and he felt her clench around him as her nails dug into his skin, leaving angry red lines that he knew would sting later.

She gasped, her legs tight around his hips as he continued to move, clearly chasing his own release. Through panting breaths she whispered against his ear.

“When I read I always picture you and me, on nights when we’re apart I touch myself as I read and I think of you, of how good you make me feel.”

“Fuck baby.” He growled, his face buried against her neck, his breathing heavy.

“I have since before we got together, ever since we met, I fantasized about you.” She clenched around him and he tensed as the pleasure built. It wasn’t long before his groans got louder, his body getting heavier against her as she continued to whisper against his ear. When he came he bit down on her shoulder as his hips jerked against hers, his orgasm making his whole body quiver and Emily gasped at the heat of his release inside of her.

“Jesus Christ Em.” He panted, feeling blissed out as he slowly rolled off her. “I should have read one of those books sooner.”

She laughed, sweaty and sated and easily curled into him. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t told him about the books, but she knew now that she would enjoy watching his reaction to every single one.

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss smut #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotch x emily #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron x emily #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss smut

[thewales]

This article about the Sussex is... they're toast. They are finished before they even start. If everything in this article is true... wow. They are far worse off than even the most pessimistic of us thought.

The WSJ:

The graveyard of video projects they hoped to make includes an animated children’s show called “Pearl” that was canceled by Netflix, as well as at least two TV ideas that the streaming service rejected within the past year, people familiar with Harry and Meghan’s projects said. Netflix is unlikely to renew the couple’s deal, which runs through 2025, the people said.

People who have worked with the pair say their Sussex-upon-Sunset outpost was undermined by their inexperience as producers and trouble finding material consistent with their brand, as well as problems beyond their control, including a retrenchment in the entertainment and podcasting businesses.

Archewell employees and associates say the company often lacks direction, and that its founders at times seem surprised by the work required to finish entertainment projects. Most potential initiatives, they said, follow a similar route: Big idea, subpar execution.

In May 2022, the head of communications at Archewell and the head of communications at the couple’s nonprofit foundation stepped down. In the following months, several others followed, including the company’s head of audio and Mandana Dayani, president of the entire operation.

In March, Ben Browning, the film producer hired to oversee Archewell’s content slate on the strength of such credits as the Oscar-winning “Promising Young Woman,” left the company to return to his prior job. Archewell’s head of marketing parted ways with the company, as did its head of scripted content.

Archewell employees felt the future of their Netflix deal hinged on the documentary’s success, and the project created tension inside the company. Harry and Meghan weighed in on edits, though at times were overruled, people involved in the project said.

Other proposed projects seemed designed to replicate successful shows already on Netflix, such as a sitcom described as “Emily in Paris,” but about a man, and a family-friendly TV show about gay characters that felt similar to the fan favorite “Heartstopper.” Netflix said no to both, people familiar with the matter said.

Executives at Netflix have groused about Archewell’s output, according to people familiar with the matter, and feel that the success of the “Harry & Meghan” documentary is all the company has to show for the deal.

Today, one Archewell project is nearing completion at Netflix: a documentary series on the Invictus Games, a tournament Harry founded for wounded veterans after serving two tours with the British Army in Afghanistan.

Harry and Meghan are also developing a TV show for Netflix called “Bad Manners” based on Miss Havisham, a Charles Dickens character from “Great Expectations.” The prequel would recast the lonely spinster as a strong woman living in a patriarchal society, though it is unclear whether the show will get a green light from Netflix.

Choosing the right kind of guest was often fraught. Meghan wrote Taylor Swift a personal letter asking her to come on the podcast. The pop star declined, through a representative.

Harry, in particular, struggled to land on an idea.

He explored a podcast on veterans but couldn’t find a compelling way to tackle the subject in podcast form. He tossed around subjects such as misinformation and his point of view as someone new to living in America, and at one point considered co-hosting a show with comedian Hasan Minhaj.

Given their distance from the crown, the sheen Harry and Meghan once lent show-business projects is dimming. It helped cost them what was intended to be their first project with Netflix, an animated show about powerful women of history called “Pearl.”

The children’s show was developed when Meghan was still a working royal. It was created with help from David Furnish, who knew the royal family through his husband, Elton John. When the couple left the Palace and signed their Netflix deal, “Pearl” was the first show announced.

#this is BAD for them #they really have no talent a apart for complaining about everything #and meghans talent of making expensive clothes look cheap #and ugly #they really have nothing #and Hollywood don’t really care anymore #this is BAD… For them. it’s extremely entertaining for me #the suxs

[viscerax]

heyy so ive read a lot of ur fics and like they are really amazing and i have this request where fem!reader and finney blake have this type of like enemies to lovers and it ends with them like together and stuff if not it’s totally fine!!!

Conflicting Feelings

It wasn't rare for Finney to get bullied. In fact, he was used to it. He was used to girls making fun of him or calling him names, or snickering when he walked by. And not in the "he's so cute Emily i dare you to ask him out!" Kind of snickering.

Finney however was not used to being bullied or teased by someone who he had any remote interest in.

Until he met you.

You were the most beautiful girl Finney had ever laid eyes on. And yet, you showed no interest him. Not only that, but any time you talked to him, you only seemed interested in teasing him. It was nothing he wast used to, the typical teasing or nicknames.

It wouldn't be as bad if you weren't so god damn perfect.

You used to not be so mean. Finney remembers the sweet girl in elementary who would play with him on the play ground or gift him cool rocks that you found, or even watch as he drew spaceships and planets.

But as soon as the two of you graduated and moving into middle school, you found yourself hanging out with new people, and Finney noticed almost an immediate change in the way you treated him and others. Finn longed for the days on the swings where the two of you would rant for hours about all the things you found cool.

Its not like you enjoyed bullying Finney. You didn't get anything out of it except for a guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when Finney would give you a fearful or saddened look. But you feared what would happen to you if you dared go against the almighty authority of the popular girls.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you had someone "on the other side" waiting for you. It wouldn't be so horrible if you weren't so lonely.

The weight of your guilt weighed down on you everyday, and it made you feel even more lonely then if you had just ditched the popular crowd and abandoned all of your "friends."

One particular day was horribly difficult. Your "friends" had decided today would be a great day to pick on Finney more than usual.

You found yourself sat on the floor on the side of the school. You figured it would be better to avoid them. Sure it was ironic, the bully avoiding people, but irony was your least concern at that moment.

Your knees were scrunched up to your chest, and your forehead rested on them, creating a perfect little space for you to let your sobs and tears fall into your lap.

The sound of gravel crunching under shoes fell upon deaf ears. Its not like any of your friends would be over here anyways. The only people who came to this side of the school was people looking for drugs or a safe place to hide.

You had paid no mind until the footsteps stopped almost directly in front of you.

You lifted your head up, wiping your tears and mascara from under your eyes to clear your vision.

There standing in front of you was a familiar head of shaggy brown hair. You quickly replaced your frown with your typical sneer and defensive attitude.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Running away from your problems again?" Despite trying to sound tough, the way your voice wobbled and cracked made you cringe. Finney just stared at you for a moment before taking place next to you, sitting down and pulling his knees up to his chest as well.

"What? Coming here to mock me? Surprise surprise, Y/n has human fucking emotions! I'm capable of feeling guilt and sadness." You scowled and rolled your eyes, hoping you could just push Finney away, even though a huge small part wanted him to stay.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I make you like this?" You were surprised to hear Finney speak. You figured he was just going to sit there and stare at you. He had a sort of saddened and guilty expression, and you felt tears pricking at your eyes again.

You looked away from him, staring at the gravel you sat on, picking up small pebbles and tossing them away from you.

"No. Its my fault I'm fucking like this. God, how could you ever think this was your fault!" You sighed and rested your cheek on your knee. "Its not your fault. Its mine. I shouldn't have ever treated you like I did. You didn't do anything wrong." You tried to stop yourself from going further, but the words just kept spilling out like vomit. "God, I miss when we would hang out on the swings and you would nerd out about rockets and space. And I just sat there and listened because you were the only person who ever payed attention to me. You were the only person who made me feel like im wanted. And then I turn around and just treating you like shit because I realize that 'hey, if I bully him, I get more attention from the popular girls. That's got to be great, right?' News flash. Its not. I hate being so mean. I hate that you hate me." You sighed, and a few tears spilled down your cheeks, sliding down and landing softly on the gravel beneath you.

Finney just stared at you, eyes wide like a does. "I-i don't hate you, Y/n." Finney frowned and gently scooted closer to you. He tentatively reached his hand out, brushing a few tears off of your cheeks. "I still want to be your friend. I just- you have to promise you won't treat me like sh- like crap anymore." You chuckled at his cover up swear. It definitely seemed like something he would do. You sighed and sat up a bit, resting your head on his shoulder. Finney tensed up, and you worried you had made things awkward.

"I don't deserve you, Finney." You murmured as you closed your eyes, almost nuzzling into his comfort a bit.

"Everyone deserves to be loved." Finney smiled, before he realized the implications of what he had said. A bright flush spread across his cheeks, but you just chuckled and reached out, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers.

"Thank you, Finn."

#the black phone #the black phone x reader #black phone edit #finney shaw #headcanon #finney x reader #robin arellano #vance hopper

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Mr. Gallagher and Me

Jim x Reader

A/n: please don't hate him lol

Playlist Masterlists Interlude

Chapter 16

Summary: Threats made against Y/n and Jim's academic and professional careers leads to a fight that may change everything between them. Warnings: Manipulation, blackmail, yelling, angst.

Mid February  Despite being enormously prepared and knowing her work- and her field- like the back of her hand, Y/n had still been nervous through her entire defense. Naturally, everyone from the thesis committee had been present, even if she hadn’t worked very closely with most of them. The committee, though, did include Nadia, the department's head, and of course Jim, in his capacity as her supervisor. Their eyes were all on her, while their questions, ranging from easy and straightforward, to complex and detailed, were aimed at her. And while she could easily answer every question after just a few moments of thought, the presentation had been open to other members of the faculty and it was a little unnerving; students and lecturers who she’d barely had any interaction with alike. Her nerves were also aided by the nagging thought that everyone was staring at her for the wrong reason; she was visibly pregnant by then and couldn’t help but wonder if they all secretly knew that the man at the helm of her committee was also the one whose child she was having. 

Of course, she supposed that if they did know, she might not have even been standing there, but logic had long gone out the window. 

In a bid to keep their professional lives, and her academic one separate from their personal ones, Jim had kept tight lipped on any of the things he’d be touching on during the defense, and, perhaps more coincidentally than purposefully, his questions had been the most difficult. Thankfully though, they had been very few and far between, as he allowed committee members who were less intertwined with her work have more time for questioning. 

Surprisingly, the whole thing had been through within forty minutes or so, and when she’d been dismissed by the committee, Y/n had quickly put her laptop and notes away, gathering them in one arm before carefully making her way down the step of the stage, doing her best to ignore Jim’s concerned gaze  as she descended slowly while grasping the railing. Keeping her head straight, she passed right near where he was sitting, she tried not to notice that he was now doing the same, just so they could both seem as disconnected as possible.  

By the time she was stepping out of the room, where other faculty members were filtering out to enjoy the twenty minute intermission before the next defense, Y/n smoothed a delicate hand over her blossoming bump, clad in a light, loose, beige sweater, discreetly whispering to the little one inside; “We did it!” And as if in response, she felt a familiar, gentle flutter. It was more of an internal feeling, and not one that she- or Jim when he was around- could feel against her hands. Quickening was what Dr. Shaw had called it after Y/n had frantically phoned her a few days earlier, worried that something was wrong. Alas, it had actually been a very good thing; the first indication that she’d have of movement and a sign that told her that she’d be feeling more pronounced kicks soon. 

With her sleep laptop and file of notes still in hand, Y/n slowly continued down the hall, in no particular rush to get back to Jim’s office to collect her things and simply happy to bask in her newfound freedom; every ounce of stress that she harbored towards her degree could finally be put to rest and she could start being an almost graduate……and a mother. 

“Y/n!” The voice momentarily stopped her in her tracks, and during the very brief pause, Y/n contemplated ignoring Emily altogether and just walking away, but before she could decide, the other woman’s footsteps had already grown closer. 

“Emily,” Y/n sighed, exasperated already as she reluctantly turned, “What?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now,” she grinned, glossy lips upturned in a broad, fake smile, “But I wanted you to get over your defense, so you’d have some time to think,” she paused for emphasis, but it was brief, “You know, I just caught some of it, they’re saying really good things about you.”

Humming, Y/n smiled tightly, knowing that Emily’s peculiar, and out of character compliment, wasn’t free, “Really?” She sighed, ready to be through with their conversation, “Great, thanks for letting me know, I guess,” rolling her eyes as she was about to turn to start walking off again. 

“We’re not through, silly,” Emily’s tone was still bubbly, but Y/n could hear the malice underneath, “Besides, I got you something, well, someone.”

“What?” Her brows knitted, and suddenly nervous as Emily absently typed something on her phone, Y/n clutched her things tighter. 

As if on cue, she heard the door behind her, that lead in and out of the building, ‘swoosh’ open, just before a chillingly familiar baritone greeted, “Hey pretty girl.” Kyle. 

It was pretty clear by then that she was being ambushed for some reason, though, the only thing Y/n couldn’t seem to figure out was why? Why her? Why then? Stuttering as Kyle moved around her to stand next to Emily, confident grin plastered on his stupidly attractive face, Y/n felt her heart speed up as her mind tried to make sense of the entire ordeal. “What…..what the hell is going on here? Why are you here?” She glanced at him, fury tugging at her features.

“I told you I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Emily interjected sweetly, and when Y/n flashed her an expression that was laced with anger and confusion, she coolly elaborated. “You’ve probably heard about the assistant professor job, right? You know they’ve been looking to hire out of the MBA program?” Blinking quickly, Y/n glanced away from them. Of course she’d heard about it, everyone in the entire program had heard about it, and about half the students from the degree were vying for it. 

Rumor had it that  a certain professor had put in a glowing recommendation for a certain student. Rumor had it that he was practically lobbying for her. 

“Yeah, I heard,” Y/n offered reluctantly, shaking her head. 

“Great,” Emily seethed, “Then you’ve also heard that it's pretty much your job. I guess being the teacher’s pet pays off, huh?” Through the interaction, Kyle, who was ordinarily mouthy, had been unusually silent, though Y/n was not willing to take that as a good thing. 

“Well there’s nothing I can do about that,” Y/n shrugged.

“No,” Emily smiled coldly, “But there is something I can do about it,” she let out a soft, controlled breath, “You know what else I’ve been meaning to do? Congratulate you and Mr. Gallagher on the baby, I’m sure you two are very excited. Though, I’m not sure the rest of the department would be,” she added, almost as if destroying Y/n’s life and Jim’s career was an afterthought. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/n lied easily, clenching her jaw, up until then, she’d been adamant about avoiding questions about the baby’s father, earning herself sympathetic smiles and the occasional ‘you two are probably better off without him anyway.’ Each time, it stung her a little, and sometimes, it would feel like a direct hit at Jim, who’d been as involved as possible, but every time they talked about it, they’d both agreed that at least until she’d graduated, it was best to let people believe that the baby’s father was out of the picture.  Better sad smiles than vapid gossip. 

Again, Emily referred to her phone, swiping and tapping for less than a minute before pulling something up to show Y/n. A video, taken through what appeared to be the open sliver of a door; her and Jim, that day in his office. He was sure he’d closed the door, he probably had- the knob hadn’t been broken, someone really had opened it. “I think you know what I’m talking about,” she retorted. 

“What do you want?” Y/n gritted, it was pretty obvious that Emily had cornered her- and taken that video- as leverage for blackmail.

“Mr. Gallagher is a senior lecturer, and he's close to Dr. Michael's, what he says means something here. I want him to rescind his recommendation for you and submit one for me. I want the same effort. Or-”

“And what the hell do you have to do with this?” She gritted, glancing at Kyle, so seemed irritatingly smug, as he usually did- to think she used to love him. 

“Woah,” he chuckled defensively, “Put your claws away baby, I’m just here to help you-”

“Help me?” Y/n returned with a scoff, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I’m not an idiot, Y/n, the deeds been done and I know that you being here fucks my chances of getting that job-my job-”

“If it was your job you wouldn’t worry about me being here,” she huffed a dry chuckle, “If you’d done better work, you’d have gotten a recommendation. But just like you, everything you’ve done has been, at best, mediocre.” 

Her words seemed to make Emily fume and angrily, her hand fell to her side, squeezing her phone so tightly in a white knuckled grip  that  it was a wonder it hadn’t crumpled. “The point is,” Emily spoke through grinding teeth with her jaw set tightly, “You are going to leave. You’re going back to San Fransisco or wherever the fuck your from so when Jim writes me that stellar recommendation, and the department’s new poster-child isn’t here, they have no choice but to give me the job.”

Y/n scoffed, rolling her eyes, more so at Emily’s stupidity than her threat, “Me being gone doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed the job.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather lose it to someone else than you,” she spat furiously, “So here’s what’s gonna happen; you’re gonna get that recommendation rescinded, tell Mr. Gallagher to write me a better one and then leave. Or, I can give this video to Dr. Micheal's and let her figure out the rest-”

“You wouldn’t-”

“Oh, I would,” Emily scoffed wickedly, mirth dancing on her porcelain features, “Stay in the running for that job, and she gets the video. Stay in Ireland, and she gets the video. But its okay,” Emily perked up, grin brightening, “You’re smart and you have until next week to figure it out,” and with that, she turned abruptly, headed back to the auditorium where the next defense was happening, leaving Y/n with Kyle.

“I still don’t see why-”

“You’ve really gotten yourself into a mess here, huh?” Kyle teased, stepping closer and reaching out to touch her jaw with the back of his finger, falling short when Y/n flinched away, “Oh come on, don’t be like that. You know, I was trying to forget about you,” he licked his lips, putting his hands away in his pockets, “But then outta the blue, this chick, Emily dms me, said she saw a picture of us together on my profile from….” He waved his hand dismissively, “Whenever. She said a lotta shit that I didn’t believe, that you were fucking your thesis supervisor- that couldn’t be you,” he joked, “My Y/n?”

“I’m not yours,” Y/n shook her head, swallowing thickly. She wanted to leave, she really did, but Kyle, as usual, had this way about him; when he talked, you listened. And she was desperate to know what mess he was going to try to make for her. 

“Yeah you are, Y/n,” he determined firmly, “I don’t know what you did to that bitch,” he scratched his jaw, “But she really hates you, she wants to ruin your fucking life. But I’m trying to help you, Y/n; come back to San Francisco with me and forget this bullshit place. We can get married, like we used to talk about, I’ll take care of that baby like it's my own.”

“This is not your baby,” protectively she laid a hand on her bump once more that time while blinking quickly to discard her emotion. 

“But it can be, no one would know,” he enticed. 

Sniffling, Y/n dragged her lower lip through her teeth, still feeling like she hadn’t heard the whole thing yet- there was still something missing, a bigger reason for Kyle being there. “Not happening. Even if I left Dublin, It would never be with you.” 

“You don’t have a choice, Y/n,” he grabbed her arm, effectively stopping her when she tried to walk away, “Emily didn’t make it clear, so allow me; when you leave Dublin, it has to be with me, or its over for you and your boyfriend.” 

And finally, it made sense; Kyle would be an anchor of sorts, the thing that kept her away from Ireland. 

Jerking her arm away, Y/n took a step back,  “Go the hell, Kyle. The two of you can just go straight to fucking hell,” Y/n spat bitterly, before turning away and hoping to make back to Jim’s office, or at least the nearest bathroom before completely breaking down.

“You know, I probably shouldn’t say anything, but I was talking to Nadia before we left and we both think your defense went really well,” Jim broke the silence as they prepared dinner, “Your thesis was obviously amazing, but she thinks that this could be the thing that  gets you that job next semester. I was actually working it out,” he rambled on, “You’re due in July, and the earliest Nadia can hire you is a maybe a few days after you graduate. Which means that you could probably start  work in September- if you want to.  Or you can take the entire six months after Jellybean’s born and start early next year. I think you should take the six months, maybe it’ll be better for- Y/n?” When Jim touched her shoulder while she was in the process of chopping cucumber for a salad. 

“Huh, what?” She set the knife down, glancing at him and meeting his big, blue, worried eyes. That very morning, she’d woken up before him and fantasized about their baby having his eyes, that evening though, she had too much on her mind to think about anything other than her run in with Emily and Kyle. “Sorry, what’d you say?” She shook her head, after missing most of what he’d been talking about. 

“I was talking about your presentation today,” he frowned, clasping her arms affectionately as she turned to face him, sighing heavily. Her mind was still run amuck with memories of earlier that day, and she hadn’t found a way to tell Jim yet- it all still felt unreal that Emily and Kyle were both willing to go that far. “Are you okay?” 

She didn’t know how to tell him, but Y/n didn’t think she could lie to him either. “I…” She sighed heavily, shrugging off his touch, “I saw Kyle today,” Jim’s eyes went wider with surprise, “He said that if I go back to San Francisco with him, he’ll take care of the baby like its his own.”

That was possibly the worst way to start the story, and the fact was written all over Jim’s face. 

Scoffing, he shook his head, “I don’t under…..what?” 

“I also saw Emily- she told Kyle, tracked him down ro whatever,” she sniffed, swiping at her eyes as she moved away from the counter, abandoning the cucumber and going over to the sink to rinse her hands off, “She um…..” Y/n sniffed again, “She wants me to leave Ireland, oh and, uh, she wants you to recommend her for that job.”

Without turning to see him, she knew that Jim’s expression was riddled with confusion, and she caught the sound of surprise he’d emitted before saying, “None of that's gonna happen so I don’t understand why you’re so upset about any of this-”

“Because she knows,” Y/n blurted out before he could finish, and at the profession, they looked at each other, and she continued her stuttered explanation, “She knows. She-she has a video from that day in your office and she told Kyle, I guess so she could corner me into leaving and they’re saying that they’re gonna take it to Nadia.”

By the end of it, Y/n was in tears again and for a moment, Jim simply stood there, leaning against the counter before simply swearing, “Fuck.” 

Sniffling, Y/n brushed warm, salty tears off her cheeks, “Its bad, I know.”

“Bad?” Jim chuckled dry and humorlessly, “Bad? This is fucking….God, we shouldn’t have-”

“Shouldn’t have what?” She cried.

Jim shook his head, trying to maintain his calm disposition, “That day in my office wasn’t a good idea,” he scrubbed a hand over his jaw, “Why didn’t you say something when you found out?”

“I only found out today,” Y/n defended, “Like hours ago, and I didn’t know how to tell you- I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“Well how the hell am I supposed to react?” He yelled, startling them both; the last time she’d seen him like that would have been the day he accidentally found out she was pregnant and she’d confessed that she’d been planning to lie about the paternity. “Do you have any idea of what happens to me if this gets out?”

“Oh, what happens to you?” Y/n retorted, suddenly furious; how dare he get mad at her for being scared? How dare he act like he was the only one that would go down for it? “Right, cause you’re the only one in this, right? Its not like I’m the one carrying the baby or anything.”

“That has nothing to do with this,” Jim pressed hotly. 

“That has everything to do with this!” Angrily, Y/n spoke through the downpour of tears, both mad and utterly hurt that he’d try to act like he was the only one affected by what they’d done. Even if part of her knew his reaction was nothing more- an impulsive reaction fueled by fear- she couldn’t help but feel like he was being selfish. “I could get expelled!”

“I could lose my career! I’d never teach again. I can’t afford to lose my job,” he elaborated, fury weighing down his tone as he began pacing the kitchen, barely paying any mind to Y/n who was sobbing quietly as she continued standing by the sink, “I have kids,” he shook his head, “You’re having a baby,” he pointed accusingly.

“I’m having a baby? I guess I got myself pregnant, right?” She rose her voice again, eyes widening with disbelief. Suddenly, unable to stand anymore of their argument, Y/n pushed away from the counter near the sink. Hastily making a beeline for the door. “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this right now.”

“Shit,” Jim hissed immediately after he’d said it, “God,” he shook his head, staring to follow her, “I didn’t mean it like that,” he fumbled, easily catching up to her, "That was a stupid, fucked up thing to say, okay? But that’s not how I meant it.”

With her lips trembling and her eyes blurry, Y/n reached for her coat, “How else could you have meant that?” She blubbered, eyes stinging and face hot. 

Jim sigh heavily, reaching out, only for Y/n to flinch away, “I….just, please, calm down and we can talk about it-”

“Yeah? Like you were pretty calm when you were just yelling at me! I can not even ….think about being in the same space with you right now,” she held her hands up for a moment before starting to shrug on her jacket. 

Letting out an exasperated breath, Jim poorly reasoned, “Come on,” he urged, “Its late and you don’t have anywhere else to go.”  In response to his words, her jaw hung slack and she gasped, and, realizing that he’d tied up his feet again, he immediately tried to back track, “That’s not-”

“What you meant,” Y/n’s voice dropped, and her throat hurt from yelling, “Of course,” not bothering to get out of her jacket, Y/n simply shook her head, and deciding she wanted privacy, she shuffled past him, heading for the bedroom. 

“Can we please talk about this?” Jim pleaded as he followed her down the hall, “Those were really dumb things to say, I shouldn’t have said them.” That time, instead of arguing with him, Y/n simply shook her head, continuously brushing tears off her face. “You know I didn’t mean them,” he continued, and part of her knew he was right, the were just words tumbled out on impulse, but another part of her, the part that had always been scared that he’d turn out like Kyle, couldn’t stand to even look at Jim, and in that moment, all she wanted was to get away. 

“Y/n can we-” As she entered the bathroom connected to the master bedroom, Y/n hastily shut the door in Jim’s face, turning the lock so he couldn’t come in, at least, not without a key. And then, exhausted from their fight and wanting nothing more than to just cry her eyes out, she sank to the floor, propping her back against the door while burying her face in her hands, succumbing to doing just that. 

Maybe her mother was right, maybe she had made a mistake. 

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy fanfic #jim x reader #the delinquent season #mr. gallagher and me

[maschotch]

Few different thoughts on 701 and 702.

The unsub in 702 is so creepy and f'd up. It was pretty good writing.

I don't really understand the fued between JJ and Reid because at the end of 701 everyone is in the meeting room and looks fine. If they had written that Reid wasn't there then it would've made more sense in 702.

Also I didn't like the writing when Reid yells at JJ, it just didn't flow well.

I don't understand the whole "what if I had started taking Dilaudid again would you have let me part?"

Specifically the "would you have let me" part.

It should have ended at "What if I started taking Dilaudid again?"

And going to JJ's house crying. That's not really Reid's character...he doesn't really ask for help, people usually ask him if he's okay and eventually he may say something...like with the drug problem or the headaches...

What do you think?

701 was one of their worst episodes honestly. the whole doyle arc was done so well, which makes it so much worse when the finale falls flat. i think bringing declan’s mom as a foil for lauren was cool (and low empathy emily interacting w no empathy doyle is fucking hilarious), but other than that, it was just so… disappointing. all that build up for nothing. even the reunion felt insincere (other than shemar who acted his fuckijg ass off w that kicked puppy look). no one really reacted. idk they just made that whole ep so… uninteresting. like it wasnt entertaining at all and made absolutely no sense for anyone. truly a waste. the doyle arc couldve been so good if they just managed to stick the landing

702 was definitely the most blatant ableism in a while.. that being said, it’s a fun episode bc they make him so vile. and tbh i kinda like the little reid jj drama.. it does admittedly feel like it comes outta nowhere, and it’s not even bc the last episode didnt build up to it—we just haven’t seen jj/reid interact in an emotionally vulnerable way? like of all people, jj feels like the last person reid would go to if he needed to cry. she’s shown him nothing but disdain or indifference when he’s ever emotional around her. but i do think it’s fun that they played w the betrayal. jj’s annoyance that reid hadn’t forgiven her yet was so in character and it was interesting to see that confrontation

i dont mind their fight honestly. yeah it’s a little choppy and all over the place w reid jumping from one point to another, but i think it works bc 1) when anger reaches a certain point it becomes difficult to think linearly and 2) reid in particular isn’t exactly known for being in touch with his feelings, so he’s dealing with it while arguing. all his emotions are bubbling up at once, all the different reasons he has to be (rightfully btw) upset. reid is already a little scatterbrained and has a hard time focusing—he has so much going on in his mind at any given time that it’s hard for him to control when he’s this frustrated. all things considered i think he got his points across pretty well

i think it’s interesting that he brings up his addiction now when it’s gone unmentioned for like three seasons. i think it shows that (yeah the writers probably just forgot/didnt care) he’s pretty private about it. it’s something that was embarrassing for him, and we know he doesnt have the healthiest standards for deserving self respect. it’s partly bc he wants to be private about it and partly bc his attempts to reach out went ignored in the early stages of his addiction. so he’s been quietly struggling in the background all this time—recovery isn’t linear either. it’s definitely realistic for him to want to turn to a familiar sense of release. i think that’s what he was trying to convey: how deeply this hurt him. he was in genuine pain, and he resents jj for letting him suffer when she knew emily was still alive. to be fair i dont think he’s processed that she didnt really have a choice, or thought at all about the repercussions of jj telling the truth. bringing up dilaudid was his way of saying “what if it got that bad? how miserable do i have to be to earn mercy, to earn the truth? do i have to risk ruining my life for you to be honest?”

idk. jj was doing what she could (what she had been ordered to do) to protect emily, so i dont blame her for keeping quiet. but reid is also entitled to his anger—it’s very fair of him to be upset at the perceived betrayal from a (supposedly) close friend. the problem is that jj is rejecting reid’s emotions for a second time, this time without reason. she expects him to be perfectly understanding and everything to go back to normal as if nothing has changed. but that’s her own fucked up little coping mechanism lol. im actually a big fan of this moment (even if they didnt provide any fucking context)

#asks #cm crit

[rudie-wr1tes]

Endless Passion- A Sandman Fan Fiction

VIII. Atonia

Synopsis: As Sabine settles into her new life as a permanent resident of The Dreaming, Lord Morpheus meets her with compassion in his ancient heart. This realm is not the only chamber that has a place exclusively for her...

It took another day of food and a shower before Sabine found the courage to venture in Morpheus’s palace again. In the bare chamber closet, she found a light washed pair of high waisted jeans and a ribbed long sleeve tee. Both were familiar to her closet from home, with her white sneakers waiting at the bottom of the closet. It was the first pair of real clothes that had no blood stained on them. She hesitated at first at the jeans, knowing how much of a terror it was to have them hemmed constantly before. But as she stumbled into the pair, she was pleased to find everything fit her like a glove, hugging her hips in the best way possible. That itself gave her enough confidence to finally brave a journey to Lucienne’s library. 

Sabine embraced the carefully quiet company of the Dreaming’s grand library. From its arched stained windows letting in golden light from her left, to the infinite shelves of novels as far as the eye could see. And most of all, it was quiet. The gentle silence of this area was what she adored most. And thanks to Lucienne, every book she could ever ask for was here, on the shelves. But for now, there was solace in the early pages of Emily Dickinson’s poems. Sabine and Emily finally had one thing in common- chosen to a life of isolation, the space leaving them to both ponder the wonders of life and death as it has presented. Her eyes drunk in every word of the posthumous poet, wishing she could write to her and tell her the beauty of such a place. 

“Ah, Emily. I remember her.” Lucienne said fondly, “She spent many dreams in her lifetime here, amongst these books.”

Sabine paused, looking up at Lucienne across the way, “Wait, I’m sorry, you actually saw her?” 

“Yes.” She smiled softly, “Strange thing she was. Always wearing white- she told me the absence of color would highlight the soul in its purest form. I would try to speak to her, but she wasn’t the social type.” 

“That was her.” Sabine confirmed, “Do you know what she read?” Sabine asked, resting her elbow on the desk surface. Lucienne nodded. 

“She loved reading the histories of other cultures.” Lucienne answered, “As well as knowledge of the tides and sea. Maps of the waking world. She was fascinated by them.” 

Sabine smiled nostalgically, soon taking notice of the book leaden cart she pushed forward, “Are those all the books I requested?” 

Lucienne nodded proudly, “Per your request. I found many of those novels you told me about and slipped in a few of my own recommendations… You must let me know how you enjoy these classics when you find time for them.” 

Her fingers drummed across the cover of one particular hardcover of Pride and Prejudice. Sabine feigned a smile, not having the heart to tell her she had fallen asleep the first attempt in reading it. 

“Time is something I’m not really worried about here… Did you end up finding the one I mentioned to Matthew the other day by any chance?” 

“...Yes, as promised.. A Patio of Wisps and Jury is in there as well.” Her face soured as if she sucked the pit of an old lemon at the purposeful butchering of the novel’s name. Sabine laughed through her nose. 

“I appreciate your enthusiasm.” Sabine giggled, “But I think you’re slightly off on the title’s name.” 

Lucienne begrudgingly shook her head, “I may not understand your infatuation with such a novel, but it’s here before flying off the shelves again…” 

“Not a fan of it?” Sabine asked, intrigued by the librarian’s sour responses, “Have you had the chance to read it, at least?” 

 Lucienne checked over her shoulder once, as if in fear of listening ears, before returning to answer Sabine’s burning question. 

“You don’t have a clue how many times I’ve seen these…” Lucienne dragged in a disgusted tone, waving her hand, “Motifs…. And symbols…. Recreations of certain scenes…. In this realm.” 

Sabine covered her mouth, “Oh god… No, Lucienne, you poor thing. I’m not surprised. It’s finally reached its peak popularity…” 

Lucienne huffed and braced herself on the desk before Sabine, “It’s been a problem. I’ve had to chase several dreamers out of these dark corners. Too frequently, it has been a menace, making my library a backdrop to their desires!” 

Sabine let out a small wheezing laugh, leaning forward, “Get out. You can’t mean that they were…”  

“You’ve read the cursed thing!” Lucienne hissed under her breath, “Everything you can think of! On the cupboards, on the shelves… My dear, I couldn't look at soup normally for a week in your time.” 

Sabine’s face tinged red again, as she snickered. Soon, Lucienne broke her annoyance with a laugh as well, shaking her head. 

“Lucienne!” Sabine chided softly, “You are killing me with this!” 

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re the first person who has believed me!” Lucienne whispered with wide eyes, “And don't even get me started on the paint spills we had to clean in the east wing before!” 

Sabine wheezed loudly, covering her eyes, “That’s terrible! What did Lord Morpheus say about it?!” 

“Not much. He was the one who walked in on them!” Lucienne gossipped. 

Sabine gasped louder, “No!” 

Lucienne bit back a laugh, glancing away from Sabine. Sabine was too stunned to speak at such sheer human audacity. She couldn’t imagine how embarrassing it must have been to have him enter such ravenous dreams. 

“What happened?” Sabine asked, leaning in, “Did he get angry with them?” 

“No one knows.” Lucienne uttered in a low tone, “But he wasn’t pleased when a trail of blue paint was left in his boot tracks…. Mixed with something else.” 

Sabine’s jaw gaped, “You don’t mean….” 

“Well it certainly wasn’t turpentine…” Lucienne trailed off, “That is all I will say.” 

Both exchanged glasses and burst into laughter. 

“Augh!” Sabine lurched back with a yell, covering her mouth, “Lucienne, that is deplorable!” 

Lucienne clenched her eyes shut. Sabine’s space was not quiet any longer, as her loud cackle echoed down the halls. She thumped her knee, her head falling to the table, only to have her injury pull against her skin. She threw her head back, throwing her head back into the chair, which tapped lightly. The domino effect of such clumsiness made Lucienne stumble away and cling to the support of Sabine’s cart, bending forward into a silent laugh. Sabine could not breathe, her mouth gaping, feeling mortified by this moment of error. 

Lucienne took a breath, clearing her throat loudly, trying to sit up. 

“Are you okay, Sabine?” Lucienne chortled, barely able to contain decorum, “Sabine, stop, you’re going to rip your stitches-” 

Sabine’s stomach clenched, as she shook her head in silent laughter. Lucienne hurried to her side to gently rub her reddened forehead from a low thump, which made the mortal resident laugh harder. They could barely keep it together, as Sabine slowly began to collect her senses. An eternity spent here wouldn’t become so dull, Sabine realized, as she had bonded over a librarian over something so niche. 

“Oh, oh, god.” Sabine wiped her eyes, “I seriously needed that. Thank you. Oh my gosh. I bet you have stories from everything here.” 

“That is but only scratching the surface, Sabine.” Lucienne heaved, wiping a tear behind her glasses as she pulled away, “There’s so much more. So much…”

Sabine coughed, covering her mouth, “I barely got this thing healing and it feels like I’m about to burst again.” 

Library doors creaked open, as Lord Morpheus strode into the shared space. Lucienne quickly pulled away, pulling her hands in a clasp in front of her. Sabine sucked in a deep breath through her nostrils, holding her head high. Her book rested in her lap with a swift hand, as if she had been reading all along. 

“Hello, Lucienne.” Lord Morheus greeted warmly, “Sabine. Is all well here?” 

“Hello, sir, you’ve returned.” Lucienne said in a calm tone, “And everything here is fine.” 

Sabine swallowed, before struggling to look at him seriously again. Her eyes glanced down to his boots, wondering what else he had to trudge his way through helping out dreamers. His long, black cloak carried such a sophisticated aire. She felt sheepish without a stitch of makeup, the redness peppering her cheeks with small bumps. Dream’s gaze fixated on them a moment too long, before maintaining a focus on them both. 

“I was just enjoying the selection Lucienne provided me from this epic library of yours.” Sabine said in a neutral tone, “She found a book I miss dearly as well.” 

“That is wonderful news.” Lord Morpheus hummed, “I couldn't help but to wonder if all was well. Upon entering this area, I heard a strange thud from within these halls.” 

Sabine stammered, “Well…. It was my knee, tapping the table. Usually happens.” She shrugged, “Your desks here attacked my shins.” 

Lucienne shot her a look, which made Sabine nearly collapse into laughter then and there. 

Morpheus stifled a chuckle, “I see. I apologize that this realm is no stranger to your… Biological haphazardness.” 

Lucienne walked away quickly, almost too quickly to another shelf away from them both. Sabine nodded, moving a stray hair out of place from her eyes. 

“That’s a fancy way of putting it.” Sabine remarked, standing slowly. Her sides still ached from laughing hard, “How is Kalea?”

“She is well.” Morpheus informed her, “Kalea will no longer have any involvement with any rogue nightmares. She is partially disoriented, but recovering much faster than expected.”

Sabine bore a tentative smile, “Thank you, Lord Morpheus.” 

He flashed a smile at her, “Upon visiting your living arrangement, I have also made adjustments to your chambers, as well as a few other necessities upon your stay here.” 

There was warmth in his pale grin, putting her at ease. It was almost unsettling, making her feel thrilled. But was there another catch to this, she wondered. What was this, then, trying to be so kind after presenting so cooly before her? The sensation gave her whiplash, as she left her seating. 

“I appreciate that, but really, it isn’t necessary..” Sabine nodded, “I wasn’t sure who exactly to ask about clothes here, that was my only concern until this morning. I mean, I figure you’ve bumped into nude dreamers before… But that’s different. As much as I adored those gowns… This was a great change.” 

“Understandably so.” the Lord mused, “Would you care to see your living arrangements now to change that?” 

Sabine looked back at Lucienne behind her main desk. Lucienne waved her off. 

“I’ll have these books sent your way later.” Lucienne insisted, “You go ahead, don’t worry. You’re always welcome here.” 

“Okay!” Sabine grinned, “I’ll see you another time then, Lucienne.” 

“Be seeing you.” Lucienne nodded. 

Morpheus looked back at his creation, whose eyes sparked with humor at a joke he was not a part of. Her expression grew serious again, as Sabine turned away, seemingly still hiding her humor. 

The two strolled beside each other at an awkward distance whose gap had not closed- at least, not yet. 

“I’m grateful Kalea is okay.” She said aloud, “It’s about to be her second year in college and she’s going to struggle so much figuring out classes and books.” 

“Her spirit is strong.” Dream spoke, “Just as yours. It will be her time to learn as she goes, as you did.” 

Sabine almost felt annoyed by his reassurance on the matter. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Sabine said, “I’ve tried to show her right from wrong. She was in my custody after our aunt died. But… Since our parents have been gone, it seems like… Something shifted. She was once so sure of herself- in her aspirations, her goals… But ever since, it seems that she isn’t always there. She’s quick to wander off. She tries to find herself in other people and it hurts her in the process. That’s what scares me. I had to be a sister, and a mother.” 

The Lord shook his head, “In my abduction I failed to protect the dreamers from such terrors, your family included. There is no doubt she is a wanderer, but with my control on the realm now, I can ensure her safety.” 

Sabine inches closer as they spoke, “What happened to you? If you don’t mind me asking. You were captured. Lucienne loosely mentioned it earlier in speaking to Matthew, but I didn’t catch all of it.” 

“I was abducted by humans and forced into isolation.” Dream answered in a dry tone, “Everything created here is for dreams and nightmares of humanity. It is as much a part of me, as I am to it. My creations come in all shapes and forms in response to dreamers. It is never healthy to drown in them. One human who did this, being a sorcerer by the name of Roderick Burgess foolishly summoned me with the Magdalene Grimoire to summon Death. His goal was to return his deceased son, who was killed in combat. Instead… He summoned me.” 

Sabine struggled to process this new information, “A human thinking they have control over power that’s beyond them? How groundbreaking.” 

At first, he seemed amused. But Sabine was serious. 

“Glad you came in prepared, being so coarse with me.” 

“No.” Lord Morpheus feigned, “Hence why I was concerned prior when you entered my realm. The last time anything like this happened, I was trapped in a sphere of glass when I refused to fulfill his delusions.” 

Sabine frowned, “Lucky for you, I won’t be putting you in a hamster ball for keeping me here instead of near my only family.”

She walked forward on fast feet, as automatic glass doors cued for her to enter a terrance towards her chambers. He hurried then, and stopped her there, in a stone hall that opened to the outside. The Endless stood, brows softened, his head tilting down to look upon his new resident. Sabine stopped in her tracks, as he stood to face her. 

“I can assure you are nothing in the slightest similar to Roderick Burgess.” He spoke in a tender tone, “You are human, but that does not make your intentions nefarious. I see that now, and saw it in your confession before.” 

Sabine felt angry in response to his sudden gentleness. He was being kind now, but why? What was he playing at? Her teeth clasped together in her jaw, lips pursed softly. 

“Thank you.” She said, “I’d rather you know now than to spend an eternity reminding me of every mistake I ever made.” 

She was still angry. She had every right to be angry and yet the Endless still ached at her responses. Hatred was a far cry from how he felt upon speaking to her. What he wished to say was that he could never hate her- that she was not just a human but every reminder of the beauty in humanity that shone through every vein of this realm. He hadn’t heard laughter like hers fill his halls in… ever, really. And he never wanted to go without it again. Dream hesitated, holding back what he wished to say. It wasn’t right. Not just yet. 

“Shall we continue, Lord Morpheus?” Sabine asked in a neutral tone. 

“Yes.” He snapped from his inner thoughts, “I beg your pardon.” 

Sabine would have done just that if the skies surrounding them had not caught her attention. The sun was slowly beginning to set here. Other humans, in their dreams, passed by below. Some were alert, excitedly wandering about. Some were in a haze with gazes fixated on the horizon. She watched over them carefully, looking out to the other places in his realm as far as her vision could muster. 

“What do you see?” He asked. 

“I wish I could find the right words, but this is how I imagined heaven to look… And this is all of your creation,” She observed, “How do you do it?” 

“In my solitude, I questioned that many times as well.” Dream answered, “And at first, I only assumed my power came from the tools of my creation. That without them, I was convinced by Burgess that I was nothing.” 

“But he was wrong.” Sabine remarked, “I don’t even know him, but he was an idiot.” 

“You cannot place yourself in the powers of your trinkets,” Dream stated. 

“You’d have a laugh at my purse back in the apartment, then.” Sabine joked, “I carried my entire life in that thing.” 

He reached from his pocket, thumbing through grains of sand to show her. Sabine watched carefully and dared not to touch it. The last, he presented was a terrifying looking helmet- with ruby red eyes and a long, slender beak of iron. She tilted her head, observing it closely. 

“So that’s what that is.” She hummed, “It kind of looks like a mosquito.” 

“I have never heard that comparison before.” Lord Morpheus chuckled lowly, “And thanks to you, I may now never unsee it. It is more like a gas mask. ” 

Sabine scoffed, “Oh, great. I’m just digging my own grave here, aren’t I? Here I am being rude when you’ve given me a home here. That’s perfect.” 

Her gaze shifted downwards to avoid any further trouble with him. But he was delighted. 

“In case this was a peculiar way of expressing your concerns for mosquitoes, they do not bite here.” Lord Morpheus informed. 

“Good.” Sabine crossed her arms over her chest, “Because I do not have a good track record with them. I’m sure you’re probably tired of me already and I’m giving you ideas. I know there was this ancient punishment involving being steeped in stagnant water with milk and honey, while the victim gets munched on until they’re gone. You’re probably going to do that to people who overshare, won’t you?”

The words were falling out of her mouth, but she could not stop them. 

Lord Morpheus, however, was pleasurably entertained. 

“Your punishment would be far more creative.” He teased. It was so easy to tease her, when she was already embarrassed. Sabine huffed in annoyance. 

“Then I won’t give you any more ideas.” Sabine thwarted, “... Another thing, is it true that you’re the reason behind sand getting in my eyes, or is that just an excuse for people with dry eye issues?” 

“That depends on the dreamer.” He diverted along with her subject changing, “But my sand does have the tendency to linger. It is usually dangerous to humans at first touch. Addicting, even.” 

“Why?” Sabine asked. 

Her ramblings and constant questions delighted him. He stalled in his response to her, in hopes of another day spent just hearing her voice. 

“In short, it can grant humans immortality.” He answered, “But at a very dire cost, they can rot in a perpetual state of dreaming. They wither in time, forever dreaming.” 

“Rotting in their beds, wasting their life away.” Sabine nodded, “So, Kalea wasn’t as bad?” 

“There has been worse.” 

He held a pained expression, remembering Johanna Constantne’s lover passing in an unfortunate way. Sabine noticed this, walking forward. 

The pair finished their walk to Sabine’s room in silence, and Sabine soon paused, finding the door appearing different than before. An ornate, midnight blue door decorated with shimmering stars and golden swirls stood before her. She opened her mouth to speak once, looking at him. 

“Was it always this way?” She pondered, “Hold on, you did this?” 

He seemed proud in that moment at her wonder, “Look closer. You’ll find something more fascinating on its surface.” 

As Sabine walked closer, small glimmering stars seemed to twinkle and ebb across the surface. Glints of shooting stars, and a moon at its current phase plastered over the doorway at her eye’s level. Planets loomed in the distance, as her fingertips ran across the door. A spindly figure made of shimmering light danced across her fingertips, the spite waving her to come in. Sabine flinched, the figure curling her head with the speed of a hummingbird. 

“This is mine?” She asked softly, looking back at him. 

“You will find the remaining aspects of your chambers altered as well.” He added, “To better suit your comforts.”

Sabine laughed nervously, “Wait a minute… Wait a second here, sir. Sir.” She pointed a finger, “These kinds of things take weeks to renovate. And you barely know me. You mean to tell me that the entire bedroom has changed… Just like that?” 

“Like what, exactly?” Morpheus asked coyly.

Sabine snapped her fingers, “Like that? Like… Poof?” 

Lord Morpheus laughed through his nose, “With that little blurb, no, but I may have to appropriate it from now on in all my work.” 

Sabine sighed in annoyance, “Don’t tease me! Be serious. Don’t tell me you changed my bedroom into some… Royal, fancy, pretty thing…” 

She bit her lip to stop herself from talking. 

“I will let you be the judge of that.” The lord charmed.

She grabbed the door knob, looking back at the Lord again. She was almost scared to open it herself. 

“Please tell me you didn’t go crazy in there.” She said, her voice filled with dread, “I don’t. I’m sorry. I know you’re not messing with me, but I have trust issues. This has been a very strange day for me. Or for… Two days. I talked to someone with a jack-o-lantern for a head.”

There was a ghost of a proud smile across his lips, but he still maintained distance from her. 

“And?” He asked, listening intently. 

Sabine took a breath, wiping her palms on her robe, “And you’ve put me through the ringer, you know. I thought one second you’d kill me, the next you’re being so kind. I just feel a little nervous. I don’t know what to make of you, Lord Morpheus.” 

He stepped past her, placing his hand on the doorknob and opening it. 

“Where are my manners then?” He acknowledged with a swayed hand, “You can trust there are no tricks here. No binding contracts, not after what you agreed to.” 

Sabine’s shoulders dropped from tension- they ached as she held them higher in his presence. She nodded, letting him show her the way. 

“Then I hope you haven’t forgotten about the four post canopy king sized bed.” She huffed with an air of teasing, “Or the duvet cushions. Or the chaise lounge… And a diffuser! I haven’t washed my hair in four days, you know.” 

Morpheus knew she was stalling. That was to be expected. What was inside her chambers, she couldn’t have expected, even beyond her half-joking request. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love writing banter and dialogue. I love them. You aren't even ready for what's coming next....

#dream of the endless #fan fiction #writeblr #my fanfiction #the sandman netflix #the sandman #fic writing #lord morpheus

[interact-if]

And the final interview for our Pride Month Event, with Jessamine!

Jessamine, Author of The Black River

Somewhere, somehow, you lost your memories. You’re aware that–whatever it was that happened –it involved chanting cultists, and horrible serrated knives, but unfortunately none of those nice gentlemen are around to explain what’s going on to you. Oh… and also it seems that whatever they did with the aforementioned chanting and knives tore a hole in the fabric of reality and opened a gateway from the world of the living to the Underworld.

Which you fell through.

And now you’re stuck, despite your best efforts, on an antique ship from several centuries ago, with a crew of dead sailors and a motley assemblage of others from the living world. You don’t know what’s going on back in the world where you’re supposed to be, but you know that it can’t be good.

In order to get home, you’ll have to help sail the Will-o’-wisp across the length of the Black River, uncovering truths that change the entire way you view the world and fighting villains whose ambitions extend to the very act of deicide.

And you’d quite like to get your memories back, while you’re at it.

Read More about The Black River here. Play the Demo here.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1 - Please, introduce yourself and tell us a bit about your project(s)!

Hi, I’m Jessamine (Jess for short, but not to be confused with Jess, the author of Fields of Asphodel and Diaspora – I’m surprised there isn’t more author name crossover, but it does happen occasionally), and you may have seen me around from time to time. I write The Black River, and I also do editing for other games (sometimes), and art (very rarely). You may also have seen pictures of my cat, Fëanor… she’s very cute.

My main project The Black River is a story chiefly about faith, which is a subject near and dear to my heart, but it’s also about resilience… being taken to the very edge of your limits and knowing that there’s no one coming to save you, that you’re on your own against a seemingly insurmountable foe. It’s fantasy, but it might not be the exact kind of fantasy that you’re particularly familiar with – it was very important to me that it not be Eurocentric, and there are steampunk and science-fantasy elements as well!

I wouldn’t say it’s romance-heavy, since some of the Relationship Options are aromantic, but it’s definitely character-focussed. All of the characters are important to the story and the plot in one way or another, and all of them have unique perspectives and information to give you, if you put the effort into spending time with them.

My secondary project is Boldly, a game that I haven’t really spoken much about (I’m trying to be good), but I’m honestly dying to, because I love it so much. It’s a Star Trek parody (hence the name), but along the lines of Galaxy Quest, with a different breakout scifi TV show hit taking the place of Star Trek in this universe. It’s divided into 16 episodes, a full season, and you get to play as a little spaceship ensign manning your duty desk and repairing lamps or calculating trajectories while the main crew save the day.

At least in theory… there may be some… complications.

Q2 - What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

I’m a bit of a chameleon in that I’m always constantly taking some degree of inspiration from most things that I read or watch and enjoy… I don’t think I’ve ever stopped being inspired by things, to be honest. A lot of the authors that had the most definite impact on my style in particular are ones that I read a lot growing up, like David Eddings, Emily Rodda, Kate Forsyth, and Sara Douglass, but Tolkien and Terry Pratchett also had a huge impact on me in terms of storytelling inspiration. Also Dick Francis, but… I haven’t come up with an idea for a horse-racing thriller IF… yet.

For The Black River specifically, I don’t jokingly describe it as steampunk fantasy Mass Effect 2 for no reason. There’s also a bunch of other games that have given me some degree of inspiration… the various Dragon Ages, Diablo 3 and World of Warcraft are probably the most prominent. Boldly of course draws on Star Trek a lot, but also Galaxy Quest, and there’s quite a bit of Stargate, and especially my favourite TV show of all time, Stargate: Atlantis, in there, too.

Q3- What excites you most about IF? What drew you to the medium?

This is probably quite a boring answer but for me the most exciting thing about IF as a medium is the variation. That’s always my favourite part about any RPGs with choices (like Bioware games), seeing what things change based on different decisions. The ability to craft a story that is moulded to and by the player is something very special, and it really appeals to my love of storytelling in general.

As for what drew me to the medium, I was really very encouraged by a lot of the first IFs I came across, which were high quality stories told in a way that was very interesting to me, to give it a go myself. A lot of those stories are ones I’m still reading (Virtue’s End, When It Hungers, The Northern Passage, and Fields of Asphodel in particular… though sadly 3150 Dahlia Street is no longer around), and I was lucky enough to become friends with a lot of the authors! I have to admit meeting so many wonderful friends in the community was a huge factor in helping me decide to stay also.

Q4 - Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

Yes and no. I have a very complex identity for various reasons, and to date I’ve never made a character who was really everything that I am in one person, but I do tend to use separate aspects of my identity in my characters here and there. I also generally default to all of my characters being bi or pansexual, which I suppose is the most obvious influence my identity has on my work overall.

When I first started writing The Black River, there weren’t a lot of ace characters around – there are some more now, but it was definitely more unusual when I started. Our Lady is a character that has quite a bit of me in her, in regards to her asexuality and her relationship to it, and her feelings about it and about romance.

There’s also an RO in Boldly who is intersex and nonbinary in a similar way to how I am… I’ve never been somebody who particularly looked to stories for representation, maybe because I expected to never find any characters that were really much like me, due to the aforementioned complexity. I’m enjoying writing a character that is more like me than any other I’ve read for myself, though… I hope other people will also enjoy it!

Q5 - What are you most excited about sharing related to your project?

All of it, really; I’ve always been excited, in general, by storytelling as a whole. I love when people read things I’ve written and feel emotions about it… I love when people think about my work and it leaves an impact on them. I suppose in a more specific sense I’m looking forward to unravelling some of the mysteries that have already been laid out in The Black River. Some of them probably don’t go quite where people will expect… oh, and soul-familiars. Those are coming towards the end of the next chapter.

When it comes to Boldly I’m just excited to get to the stage where I can share the game haha

Q6 - What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction/IF community?

It feels somewhat trite to say “more acceptance,” but I do think there’s still a ways to go on a lot of issues. Recently some parts of the community took quite a hard stance against intersex representation, which as an intersex person was obviously quite worrying for me. I used to regularly receive hatemail from people about having ace characters, and I still get hate-filled comments about my aro and aroace characters.

The landscape of the community can change slowly sometimes, but I’ve seen nonbinary ROs change from oddities to a norm over time, and I’ve seen a slowly growing acceptance of ace-spectrum characters and binary trans ROs, so I’m hopeful that things can continue to become more accepting as time goes on.

Otherwise… maybe just more understanding that a single character doesn’t have to be universally-applicable representation. If I write a character that specifically reflects my personal relationship with my specific nonbinary gender, it probably won’t be the same as yours or a character based on you– but that won’t make them bad, or wrong. Just different threads in one large tapestry.

Q7- Lastly, what advice would you give to your creators and readers?

I’m not sure that I have much advice to give to readers, and even a lot of what I would say to other creators has probably been said before, many times. I suppose the thing I feel needs to be said the most, from my experience in the varying corners of the author community, is that creators are so often too harsh on themselves, for no real reason.

“Author” as a vocation is a full suite of interconnected skills working together, not just writing but also other things like planning, editing, time management, worldbuilding, critique, and in the case of IF authors, coding and design as well. I’ve seen too many authors, who have spent years and years writing but never edited or outlined before, be frustrated with themselves and expect to be able to perform just as well in a skill they’ve never even tried before as in one that they’ve been honing for years, and then berate themselves when they understandably fall short of that impossible expectation.

It's not odd to find editing hard if you’ve never edited before; it’s not strange to have to fumble through outlining if you’ve never outlined before. It’s normal, actually. You wouldn’t assume that someone can speak fluent German just because they can speak fluent French. They’re separate skills, that need to be worked on separately, and you’ll never metaphorically learn German if you don’t allow yourself to start with the basics and keep expecting to be able to jump straight into complex conversations.

Be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to be still learning. We all are. And good luck!

#if: events #Pride 2022 #Pride Month #The Black River

[mediaevalmusereads]

Penguin's Poems for Love. Penguin Books, 2009.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: poetry

Series: N/A

Summary: Here are poems to take you on a journey from the 'suddenly' of love at first sight to the 'truly, madly, deeply' of infatuation and on to the 'eternally' of love that lasts beyond the end of life, along the way taking in flirtation, passion, fury, betrayal and broken hearts. Bringing together the greatest love poetry from around the world and through the ages, ranging from W. H. Auden to William Shakespeare, John Donne to Emily Dickinson, Robert Browning to Roger McGough, this new anthology will delight, comfort and inspire anyone who has ever tasted love - in any of its forms.

***Full review below.***

Since this book is a collection/anthology, my review will be structured a little different from normal.

I picked up this book after hearing it recommended by a YouTuber whose opinions on poetry I respect. As an English PhD, I'm fairly fond of poetry, and I was looking for a good collection that varied in both style and time period in which it was composed.

This collection was charming in part because it chose romantic love as its theme (the intro affirms this). Under that umbrella of romantic love, the book was divided into sections loosely defined by adverbs: suddenly, secretly, passionately, etc. It didn't make for rigid distinction between the poems, but I actually liked how nebulous each section was and that the arrangement wasn't imposing a particular reading of the poems on me.

Within those sections, there were a number of familiar names and some that were new to me. I was glad to see poets such as Sir Philip Sidney mixed in with more modern writers, as it gave me the opportunity to revisit old favorites alongside new discoveries. And as am avid lover of "old stuff," I very much appreciated the range of poetry from varying time periods, medieval to modern.

However, I do have my criticisms. For one, there were selections that I thought were incredibly odd; for example, Barber chose to include the passage from Paradise Lost in which Eve falls in love with herself and runs away from Adam. She also included a passage from Goblin Market (though not the one where Laura and Lizzy kiss). These selections sometimes made me feel like Barber was trying to force some of the heavy hitters from English Literary canon in the collection, rather than choosing poems that fit but were less popular.

For two, there were not a whole lot of prominent POC or queer poets (though there are some), which meant that the collection felt more heavily weighted towards the established canon. Maybe Barber was limited in what she chose based on copyright, but even so, it felt like some poets (such as Shakespeare, Donne, and the Brownings) were overly represented. But I should give Barber some credit; she did choose some poets who would be less familiar to an audience with a poetry background, so for that, I'm grateful.

Still, I do think this is a solid volume for anyone who might want to get into poetry for the first time or who might want to read more (if they aren't already a poetry fan). There's enough variance in style and subject matter for readers to discover their own poetic preferences and tastes, and most selections are taken from well-established poets with a lot of technical skill.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week Year 2022-12-26

Currently in the middle of goddamn nowhere next to a giant hole.

Listening: Tom Lehrer's A Christmas Carol, because Merry Chrysler.

Reading: Finished Africa Risen, some really good sticky stories in there.

Calling out a few favourites and notables:

A Dream of Electric Mothers by Wole Talabi, which really shows his engineering background. What if a nation built a computerized store for their ancestors that could be consulted for guidance.

A Knight in Tunisia by Alex Jennings, a story about coming back from war and trying to help others avoid it in the first place

The Soul Would Have No Rainbow by Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, which mostly stands out because I also got a praying mantis tangled in my hair the night I read it.

Housewarming for a Lion Goddess by Aline-Mwezi Niyonsenga, a goddess deals with her intimacy issues.

A Soul of Small Places by Mame Bougouma Diene and Woppa Diallo, about the cost of getting revenge and doing it anyway.

Hanfo Driver by Ada Nnadi, what if your weird rich uncle got you to drive a shitbox taxi that was also a hovercraft. Sci-fi slice of life fluff.

The Lady of the Yellow-Painted Library by Tobi Ogundiran, about being stalked by a library when you forget to return a book

There's more but I'm going to cut it there. As a compilation with some focus on the Diaspora there's a lot of African-American stories because the transatlantic slave trade was the second biggest thing to ever happen to Africa. Those stand out as both more foreign in some ways and more familiar in others, I don't necessarily understand the Nigerian slang as well as I get the more Carribbean linguistic influences but I feel much more familiar with a story about a Danfo which is close enough to a minibus tax rather than the ones that involves the particular strain of black evangelical Christianity.

It's fun to read into a very specific context you don't have, a lot of sff build their context as they run whereas themed short story collections often presuppose it.

On net the stories are pretty optimistic which I'm mixed on, i get it but I also like stories about the inevitability of being subsumed by something bigger than you and finding your way through that.

Watching: Nothing, on the road most of the week.

Playing: Also nothing.

Making: Disastrously failed at baking bread. Doing some landscape photography around the Karoo which is not my usual forte but it's fun to practice.

Tools and Equipment: Speaking of landscape photography, of all the disciplines it's perhaps the one where a smartphone most closely performs like a much, much fancier camera. You're already working down narrow apertures and long exposures for clean shots so it's not like you're really missing out on much. Just maybe get yourself a tripod mount for the phone and learn how the manual mode works.

#last monday of the week #Youtube

[wizisbored]

How's 10 minute old Lydia doing? What's life like? What's confusing, what's cool, how's her intelligence level compared to an actual 15 y/o

life is... weird, i guess. charles has no idea what to do about the situation, so she doesnt have much certainty of whats going on. hes kind of a mystery to her - out of the house most of the day, akward and quiet when they do interact (partially from just not knowing what to do, partially from the pain of her being a glaring reminder of emily).

whats particularly confusing is where her mama went. she wasnt exactly concious before she was properly awakened, but she was on some basic level aware of her creator interacting with her. emily would talk to her, sing, sometimes even try to play with her in a rather one-sided way. but then emily vanished, and when she properly woke she was nowhere to be found. charles doesnt talk about her, beetlejuice told her she died, but as much as she tries shes struggling to get her head around what that means.

whats cool is her familiar! beetlejuice is a shapeshifter but his favourite form is a racoon, and usually sits on her shoulders. i havent decided what it is but he has a particular bird form he likes to use for solo travel, and for going places with lydia he'll turn into a donkey to carry her. he often takes her into town like that - charles wants her to stay at home while she's out but beetlejuice insists she doesnt have to do what he says. since charles is so quiet with her beetlejuice answers all her questions about the world and she finds him fascinating because of it, which definately goes to his head.

im not 100% sure on where lydia is mentally. id say shes still smart (or at least has the potential to be, if that makes sense) but she lacks knowledge. she has none of the lived experiences and education that would have usually shaped her thinking. its almost like she has the shell of a fifteen-year-old brain, but its just kind of... empty? ill probably be able to explain it better when i have a better idea of how i want her to be, and once ive thought more about the effects of her being 'overcooked'. but one thing shes determined to do is get her head around death, because she wants to be able to understand what happened to emily, and that leads to a fixation that doesnt help charles not knowing how to interact with her.

#augh i have to think of a tag for this thing #overcooked homunculus au #yea thatll do

[pridepages]

Served Cold: A Million to One

I just finished A Million to One by Adiba Jaigirdar. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

Considering the myriad of possible stories the backdrop presents, it’s astonishing to me that there haven’t been more notable narratives set on the doomed ship Titanic. Naturally, I was excited and intrigued to hear about Adiba Jaigirdar’s newest YA novel A Million to One, which was pitched to me as Ocean’s 8 meets Titanic. A girl gang setting out for a heist on the high seas? The highest of stakes as their con is forced to become a race for survival? Sapphic romance along the way? Sold. But at its heart, Million is more than a heist story: it’s a cautionary tale about the dangers of vengeance.

The tale brings together four heroines, each of whom has a past of pain, loss, and (often) rage. Violet has fled a broken home in her native Croatia, leaving behind a little brother she’s desperate to rescue. Hinnah was cast off by her traditional Indian family after a misunderstanding left her in a compromising position. Emilie, a biracial Haitian-French girl, was raised by her single, white father until he died and left her alone and unprotected in a world hostile to a black woman trying to survive on her own. Josefa was born to privilege, but she chose to trust her own skills and instincts to make her own way...only to be betrayed by the only friend she had left in the world. The four find themselves living in the same boardinghouse in Ireland until one day, Josefa approaches each of the others with a plan: sneak aboard the Titanic to steal a precious treasure that is en route to New York.

Josefa presents the con to her friends as if it’s just about fabulous riches that could set them up for life. What Josefa neglects to mention is that this particular mark was chosen with purpose: the treasure’s guard is the same friend who sold Josefa out years before. Josefa hasn’t come up with this plan to become fabulously wealthy--that’s just an added bonus--this is about setting up her betrayer to take the fall.

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. And it doesn’t get colder than the middle of the North Atlantic, surrounded by icebergs, as an unsinkable ship and 1,500 souls sail toward a watery grave.

One of the both most realistic and most frustrating aspects of A Million to One is the sequence related to the sinking. The trouble is that the reader knows what’s coming. The reader’s fascination is going to be at least half in the events related to the sinking itself. But that’s not where Jaigirdar chooses to spend most of the time. The novel is 58 chapters long and the ship doesn’t strike the iceberg until the very end of chapter 42. From there, it’s a speedrun to the end that barely covers the wider events of the sinking, choosing to focus closely on the experiences of the four heroines as each meets her respective fate. 

For readers who picked up the book for a Titanic story, this may come as a disappointment. Familiar figures are barely alluded to, most are never seen, and the horrors of the sinking are given glancing mentions as each girl races by, plotting her next move. There’s very little about the ship or its famous passengers...but that may be exactly Jaigirdar’s point. 

Firstly, it’s realistic for a couple of reasons. After all, the ship sank very quickly. In the grand scheme of the voyage, it was shockingly quick: approximately 2 hours and 40 minutes from strike to disappearance. So it’s natural that these scenes are experienced in real, even sped-up time for the characters racing against the clock. Furthermore, it’s also fair to acknowledge that these girls would have been considered nobodies. Most of the famous figures of the Titanic were first-class or officers. There really is no reason that any of our heroines would have encountered any of them or had time to observe them with the waters rising.

Secondly, I think that Jaigirdar wants us to take away a story of love and loss that doesn’t glamorize or revel in horror. We’ve all seen James Cameron’s iconic film--possibly many times--and if we need a tear-jerker, we can always go see it again (let’s face it: Kate and Leo are timeless). A Million to One, on the other hand, is about these four girls. They would have been considered nobodies and nothings. But through each of their lives and their transformative experiences in the face of tragedy, we have something to learn.

The lion’s share of this novel takes place in the few days aboard the ship as the girls plan, and execute, small steps of the heist. Along the way, we see a character study as each of these girls must come to grips with her past. 

Josefa, the engine of the story, is fueled by her determination for revenge. Not so much that she’s stone cold, after all: she has a vulnerability and a passion for Emilie that tends to get her into trouble. “Josefa had wanted to approach Emilie, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd been too afraid...Emilie was an artist and artists were observant. If she got too close to Josefa, would Emilie see some of the cracks in her armor? Would she see all the insecurities that Josefa liked to pretend didn't exist?” But the fact isn’t that they are aboard the Titanic because Josefa is greedy or cocky and wants to prove she can pull off this heist (although she certainly is and wants all of these things). Fundamentally, they are there because Josefa cannot get over the fact that a boy who had an unrequited crush got the drop on her and sold her out. 

Josefa assumed that she and her traitor, August, “had been through too much together to let something as silly as feelings stand in the way” before she fell into his trap. Instead of learning from this experience and becoming the bigger person herself, moving on from this incident and putting as much distance between herself and August as possible, Josefa puts herself and all three of her unwitting friends directly in harm’s way. She does so knowing that “she had to focus on the task at hand. Feelings only ever got in the way.” Nevertheless, trapping them all out at sea on what is almost certainly a doomed mission is only the beginning of her rash actions. At one point, to impress Emilie, Josefa makes a foolish mistake that gets them all identified as thieves long before they can make their move for their prize. It was an entirely avoidable error that may cost them everything, but Josefa “couldn’t say she regretted it.” No wonder, after all is found out, an enraged Violet declares “Well, I think we all know what it’s like to be betrayed by a friend now.”

Emilie and Hinnah, more sensitive souls, aren’t powered by a need to revenge themselves upon the world for their pain and their loss. But they are still suffering, desperate to find love to fill the emptiness that has plagued them since they lost their respective families. 

For Emilie, that love comes in the form of an unexpected romance with Josefa that inspires her to take risks and become a person she never would have predicted. “Emilie could see the appeal of...a kind of life she had never known or envisioned before. And she thought maybe it was because of Josefa, because it would mean being by her side, experiencing the thrill of it all.” For Hinnah, she has been constantly seeking some kind of replacement family: first with one performing troupe, then with an Irish circus, finally, unexpectedly, finding one in this girl gang. “But here, on the brink of death, holding on for dear life, Hinnah knew that there were at least three people who loved her. Not for the person they wanted her to be, but for the person who she was...she had spent too much time living life the way others had wanted her to. Listening to her parents’ whims and trying to live up to their expectations... ashamed of all the ways she didn’t fit in. Josefa, Violet, and Emilie had given her something like the freedom she sought, the feeling of belonging she always craved--even if it was only for a few days.” 

Violet is somewhere in the middle. On the one hand, she’s intuitive enough to read the people around her and know that Josefa is withholding information and likely compromised by emotion--be it overconfidence, attraction, or vengeance. On the other hand, Violet does allow her mistrust and her rage to blind her, both keeping her at a distance from her own teammates and even causing her to try to go rogue and almost get caught after Josefa’s deceit comes to light. Still, when caught in a battle between her worst and best self, in the end love always wins. When Josefa comes to Violet and sincerely apologizes, Violet “knew Josefa was being utterly sincere. And she couldn’t begrudge her that.” And when faced with the threat of death, Violet’s thoughts aren’t of recrimination against Josefa for bringing them all to this. Instead, they are for her little brother a world away: “I would tell him...sorry. I would tell him that I love him.” 

Infuriatingly, it is Josefa who had the most to learn over the course of this story and she is the one who pays the least. Her mistakes cost her friends everything...even, in the end, some of their lives. But Josefa gets to walk away. Arguably, she’s the one who will have to live with the pain, but is that any kind of justice for the girls who trusted her and who she betrayed, forcing them to pay the ultimate price? 

There’s another saying they have about revenge, one that A Million to One forces us to remember: when set on a course of revenge, dig two graves. One for your enemy...and one for yourself. Jaigirdar could have pulled off a miracle--the glories of fiction--and had all four ride into the sunset and live happily ever after. But she didn’t. Instead, she showed us that dwelling on pain of the past inevitably costs us possible futures. And that the fires of revenge inevitably leave us cold.

#a million to one #adiba jaigirdar #wlw #sapphic #lesbian #lgbt reads #queer lit

[katherinemathew]

Top 10 Best Beaches in the South Pacific

Beachside getaways offer a relaxing escape from the bustling everyday, with proximity to water being scientifically proven to help relax the nervous system. For travellers considering a South Pacific holiday it’s likely that white sand shorelines and lapping azure waves were high on the list of attractive drawcards. Our specialist team have compiled a list of our Top 10 best beaches in the South Pacific to help you decide which destination to visit, and get you into the ultimate zen state! For tailored advice call one of our reservations specialists on 1800 800 722 or explore our online package deals.

10. Emily Bay, Norfolk Island

Coming in at tenth spot on our list is Emily Bay, recognisably featured on most Norfolk Island post cards and travel brochures. It sits right beside the historic Kingston and Arthurs Vale Historic Area and is a safe harbour for swimmers.

Why do we love it?

With the historic settlements near by it is easy to comprehend just how many generations have dipped into these waters, and have left the Bay with a ‘presence’. Not to mention it’s cool clear blue waters and cute swimming platform! Did you know that the local school uses Emily Bay for it’s swimming lessons and carnival? And in Summer local families get permits to camp in the treeline surrounding the bay — a unique Norfolk experience!

9. Fare Beach, Huahine

Fare Beach on the lesser known Tahitian isle of Huahine takes out position 9. Unlike her more popular sister islands, Huahine has a peaceful ambience and simplistic way of life. Here you will find Polynesia’s largest concentration of marae from pre-European times, and you’ll also find Fare Beach.

Why do we love it?

The beach at Fare is public and just off the town, but it has a treelined shore with glistening waters and some worthwhile snorkelling. From here you can see the islands of Raiatea and Tahaa too, which are all encircled by the same lagoon. Lots of visitors travel to Bora Bora for her bottomless blues and island views — Huahine can offer a similar, more discreet, experience.

8. Titikaveka Beach, Rarotonga

Anyone familiar with the main hub of the Cook Islands will have spent some time on Titikaveka’s shores. On Rarotonga ‘s southern coastline this 10km stretch of coastal perfection is dotted with swaying coconut palms and volcanic rock snorkelling spots.

Why do we love it?

Because it’s a long expanse of beach Titikaveka never feel crowded, and the resorts on the beachfront don’t absorb all it’s beauty. At the halfway point of the island, around the Fruits of Rarotonga sign, lies some of the best snorkelling you’ll find in Raro.

7. Blinky Beach, Lord Howe Island

Being a World Heritage Listed destination means Lord Howe Island’s visitor numbers are capped. Perfect for those wanting a quiet, nature-based getaway! And Blinky Beach, on the eastern side of the island, is perfect for a dip in the sea, casting a rod, or a sun kissed picnic.

Why do we love it?

Lord Howe is synonymous with great walks and hiking trails, so much so that the beaches don’t get much of a broadcast — but they should! Blinky’s in particular is an idyllic spot for warm sands and rolling waves, with a lush mountainous backdrop. The waters here are known for being uncrowded and full of clean breaks, what locals have come to call ‘Champagne surf’, so bring the board or fins!

6. Chateaubriand Bay, Lifou

Our 6th spot is relatively unknown to most travellers and that’s part of it’s appeal quite honestly! Lifou, located in the Loyalty Islands of New Caledonia and a 2 hour flight from Noumea, is the largest in the island group and offers the greatest contrast too. On the eastern side of the island lies Chateaubriand Bay.

Why do we love it?

Swimmers, watersports lovers and even fitness enthusiasts can revel in the beauty and accessibility of this beach. It’s a postcard with pristine azure waters that seem to glitter in the sun, yet isn’t ever crawling with tourists. The best part about it is that time seems to stand still here, so the days seem to be even more tranquil and freeing.

Read the full artcle to know more about Top 10 Best Beaches in the South Pacific

#spacificatravel #cookislandsholidays #cookIslandstravel

[valerie]

TWITL - week 8 - sunshine through the clouds

MONDAY - 19 February Is it weird that I remember that it's someone's birthday today? Too bad he's not on social media. https://flic.kr/p/4vCFMr no, my name was never "Valerie Hayward" TUESDAY - 20 February https://flic.kr/p/2pzkSgc Back to work today. It was a dreary gray day and the rain started in the afternoon. I was able to take my walk to the library so small blessings, I suppose. I had my window open until it started raining. The breeze was lovely... WEDNESDAY - 21 February We'll be in Ireland in a month. I AM SO EXCITED!!! We need to book a couple of tours so that we get out of Dublin a couple of times but otherwise I'm just looking forward to going to different pubs and restaurants and shops and just enjoying somewhere different. I'm also looking forward to the accents. ;) Have I ever mentioned that I love reading a particular gossip blog? I do! They report on a lot of royal gossip, mostly adoring the Sussexes and mostly wondering what the purpose of the British royal family is. This gossip blog is one of the only places where I *like* to read the comments. Most of the people who comment love the tsismis, of course, but they also have thoughtful perspectives. It's not all "oh, they suck!" or "oh, I just love them!" I mention all of this because there's a bit of a thread on one of the recent posts about how the Sussexes should have an IG. They do not, instead relying on updating their recently launched website to post news and photos. The Sussexes have made it quite clear that they do not like social media so it's not really a surprise that they aren't using it. And I'm all for it. Let's get back to posting on our own domains instead of relying on social media to house our content. I say this even though I love my social media. Having your own website, where you can control your own content and the people who might comment, is the ideal thing. Maybe I'm old school (no maybe, I am) but I still look for the "official" sites for the people I follow and I appreciate them even more when their sites are current and updated. Even if their sites aren't updated and merely point to where else on the internet you can find them, it's still a good thing. Don't depend on the social media for your presence on the internet, my lovelies. https://flic.kr/p/2pzqYRc William Gregory Lee on the episode, "Protect Us," of Genius: MLK/X I was randomly looking through the IMDB and saw that Greg had a new credit so of course I had to check it out. I did some screenshots but didn't listen to his few scenes. After the screenshots, I checked the IMDB on the filming location for this iteration of the show and yes, it was Atlanta, Georgia. Why do I feel like Greg has moved back to the east coast, perhaps even to Georgia? His latest credits have been for productions that filmed in Georgia. I wonder if I would see him whenever I finally go to Georgia to visit. Now that would be cool. SUNDAY - 25 February I was super annoyed the other day from a comment on something I posted. I wanted to vent about it, so I took it to Spoutible. I was glad for the support on my feelings about the scenario. It's easy to dismiss things that are said online and I've done that most of the time. The fact that this time I needed to vent meant that the annoyance had built up enough for me to say something. I should probably talk about here but maybe as a "disconnected" post. Hmm, now there's a thought. https://flic.kr/p/2pzybDL MOVIES Oppenheimer - We watched this one last night (Saturday). It started off a little slow but it picked up after the first hour. I thought it was well done and super interesting. It's a very encompassing movie with non-linear storytelling but it weaves its way well enough. So many familiar faces in the cast! Cillian Murphy was amazing, of course. Emily Blunt seemed a bit underused. Florence Pugh made the most out of her scenes. Robert Downey Jr. was excellent as well. I've now seen two of the 2024 Oscar nominees for best picture and if I had to choose, well, I think I would choose this movie to win. (Though it would ROCK if Barbie wins.) Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One - These movies never disappoint in terms of action sequences and the latest one has them in spades. Another action packed installment with gorgeous vistas and heart stopping action. The non-actions sequences were thrilling in their own ways. And of course, there has to be a gut punch or two. Cannot wait to see how this one ends. The next one will be the last, right? https://flic.kr/p/2pzvYkh Here's to a good week to you all! It's going to be a 5 day work week after two 4 day work weeks. I miss the long weekends already. Oh well! Read the full article

#movies

[finclgicls]

＋ closed starter for ( @someotherdog ) based on — slender man kind of mixed with the empty man — laela and your muse are childhood friends who have distanced themselves over the years after having one night summoned the slender man as a prank with three other friends who have all gone missing. now, years later, laela has started having weird dreams and a sense that someone is following her, she reaches your muse to know whether they are sensing it too and to close a door they've opened years ago. — open to any of your muses, around the same age as laela, they were high school best friends.

laela really thought they were done with it. they had closed the door. out of their close-knit group of five, only two of them were left. laela remembered as if it was yesterday—all of them in her attic, searching the internet about urban legends, the slender man came on the screen. they brought it to their other friends—not as much of a part of their group—but close enough that their opinion mattered. soon the boys started challenging them to have the ritual, and so they did. in her attic. at midnight. all of them with their eyes closed and something... happened. maybe it was mass hysteria or group hallucination, but they all felt something, and all of them left her attic that day feeling different, no matter how much they tried to brush it off the next few days.

the first one was emily. they were on a field trip with their biology class when she diverted from the group. into the woods. they all heard her scream. but they never saw her again. laela and the rest of them were helping emily's parents hand out flyers around town. the second one was alex, she was the kindest of them, perhaps the most naive. alex's mother said she was drawing outside when she simply walked into the woods behind her house—they never saw her again. alex had left behind the first clue as to what they were dealing with. in her drawing before her disappearance stood a man, they had to squint their eyes to figure him out but the black ink stood out among the trees.

the last of them had been pippa. but she didn't disappear, no. pippa was found underneath the bridge that divided their small town from the big city. she was dead, hanging from her wrists. they ruled out a potential homicide. how would she do this to herself? after that, the last friendship she had was dissolved. laela stayed in that god-forsaken town until she couldn't anymore. running away, she skirted by on life, from place to place until recently, when she started hearing the familiar whispers again.

for her photography, laela had gained a knack for exploring abandoned and eerie locations, and she didn't know if it was the whispers, the dreams, or the sheer curiosity, but she stumbled upon a collection of old photographs in an abandoned psychiatric hospital. among them were haunting images of children and unsettling depictions of the slender man lurking in the background. after finding these disturbing photos, her sleep had been filled with nightmares and somehow she knew it was coming for them again, she knew she needed to find them.

which was exactly how she stood there. outside the door of the bar. working herself up to walk up and talk to the person who used to be her very best friend. how she had found them? she had her ways—and the internet had some marvelous data. including an address, phone number, and even place of work. their instagram had seconds ago posted stories about drinks at this particular bar. if only she used her skills for the good. laela walked inside the bar and didn't walk directly to them but close to the barista where she placed an order, only turning toward them when they approached. "hey there, squirt," she said, making sure to use the childhood nickname she loved to mess them with once upon a time. ＋ @someotherdog

#❛ ⸻ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ﹕ l. rahman. #someotherdog #is this unnecessarily long? #yes #but i needed to give the setting #hope you like it #we're about to get SPOOPY in here #more to come #love u #implied suicide tw #gore tw #death tw #just to be safe???

[jezfletcher]

1000 Albums 2022: Albums #5-1

Top 5 time! All of these are worth a listen, at least to the representative tracks here! Remember, these represent the top 0.5% of all the music I listened to this year. Give them a try, and let me know what you think.

5. Christopher Tin, Voces8 & The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra - The Lost Birds (contemporary choral)

First up today, we have a really surprising but also deeply beautiful album from composer Christopher Tin, who is largely known for his work on video games. Here, he works with contemporary choir Voces8 on a cycle of pieces surrounding and evoking birds and birdsong. He sets different text to music, including the poems of Emily Dickinson into familiar but exquisite shifting harmonies. There's something wonderful about the way things swell and resolve here, and it turns this music into something exquisite. My top track is indeed a Dickinson poem, The Saddest Noise, which is undoubtedly more poignant for the fact that it's so bittersweet in content. You'll like it if you like: choral music, epic video-game music, and the vast overlap between the two.

4. Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Fallen Paradise (vapor pop)

Vancouver Sleep Clinic · Love You Like I Do

There are always a few albums each year that I really love, but which I may have very easily. Despite listening to 1000 albums every year, there are ten times as many which I don't listen to, even if I screen them. Vancouver Sleep Clinic's Fallen Paradise is one of those albums which very nearly slipped through the cracks—as it was a substitute added in at the last minute by Sam one week when we crossed over and both picked another album. I'm so fortunate he did, because this ended up blitzing the week it was in, and it finds itself here as my #4 of the year. It's a atmospherically beautiful album—finding itself with shifting harmonies, ambient dreampop instrumentation, and ethereal falsetto vocals—you almost get a blues groove underneath some of these tracks. But for all that, it has a wonderfully familiar pop rock structure to the compositions, so while it's taking you on a journey, you're comfortable in the swells and troughs. I love this kind of thing, and I could highlight about half the album as "my particular favourites". Nightfall has some wondeful harmonic shifts in it, Fallen Paradise reminds me of "artist of the year 2019" ViVii, and The Flow manages almost to feel like rock while sacrificing none of its atmosphere. I'll call out here Love You Like I Do, which feels like the most emblematic of the whole. You'll like it if you like: ViVii, dreampop, vapor pop, being assessed for apnoea treatment in British Columbia.

3. Ellevator - The Words You Spoke Still Move Me (indie pop rock)

The Words You Spoke Still Move Me by Ellevator

This one for a long time felt as though it was going to be my Album of the Year. It's a banging album of banging tracks, and albums like that have commonly gone on to top the rankings. We have the pop excellence of the opening number Claws which still remains my top track, or the sultry Charlie IO, or the slightly heavier Slip with a riff based on vibraphone chords. They also has the feeling of one of those bands who are just an album away from really being launched into the stratosphere—one of their tracks features on the next hit TV series, and suddenly everyone knows Ellevator. It's familiar and has all the key elements of popular music, but it also manages to spin it in a way that sounds like they've found their own distinct style. So why is this only #3 of the year, and not higher? To be honest, while this is a great collection of tracks, it lacks something in the whole—the tracks themselves make the album good, but there's not something more than that in the collection. The two (only two) albums above it this year manage to transcend being "a great collection of songs" and become "a great album". There's a difference. Still, this is a fabulous selection of music, and I'll give you Slip as a sample of it. You'll like it if: you want to be ahead of the next big thing, or if you want to be able to lament the fact that Ellevator never really struck it big in 10 years' time.

2. Dim Gray - Firmament (art rock)

Firmament by Dim Gray

In the end, I think my top albums were pretty easy to identify. There were three albums that absolutely gripped me on the first listen: Ellevator's, this one, and the one still to come. Dim Gray hail from Oslo, where they put a cold Nordic spin on atmospheric prog, and evoke a sense of vastness in their use of 70s style synths to build a layered symphonic experience. We start with the lightly shuffled Mare which then turns into the segmented but symphonic darkness of Ashes. But more than that, this is an album where everything is crafted for a whole listening experience. While there are exultant moments in individual tracks, they feel like they're in service of the album—even tracks which take on folk elements (like Cannons) feel like a capricious side-plot that serves as a comparison. Overall, it's huge and monumental. My favourite track is probably Abalus | In Time which has an otherwordly lyrical dance mixed with the wash of a thunderstorm rolling in over the ocean. I'll leave that one for now though, and stick with Ashes which has a better sampling of everything the album has to offer. You'll like it if you like: atmospheric prog; but I honestly feel like even if you specifically don't like atmospheric prog, you'll find something in this.

1. The Blackheart Orchestra - Hotel Utopia (progressive folk)

Hotel Utopia by The Blackheart Orchestra

As a final example of what a great boon At The Barrier is to me as a source of new music, I came across The Blackheart Orchestra solely via At The Barrier, and their monthly Spotify listener count sits currently at about 344, so it was unlikely I would have bumped into it otherwise. But I'm so glad I found it because this is without a doubt my top album of the year. Nothing, as it happens, was ever going to top this album from the moment I first heard it. This was a behemoth for me—I thumbed every single track on my first pass through the album, and had at least three tracks which I identified as potential Tracks of the Year (all from the one album!). Moreover, on relistening I was just greeted time and time again with a track that made me shiver with delight. It flows so wonderfully between orchestral folk, to dreampop, to chamber pop all with the sense of progression and scope you might get in art rock. There's also a distinction provided by the ethereal vocals of Chrissy Mostyn. Compositionally, this shows off so much inspiration and brilliance, and I find myself just letting myself get enveloped by it time and time again. I really do think this is an album that's up there with some of the very best we've listened to in the music project, including some of the all time classics (even though it's foolish to do that—I'd only be setting myself up for disappointment). While the album is brilliant in its entirety, it's also filled with individual moments of brilliance: the tempo-shifting, atmospheric and slightly menacing Alive, the harpsichord-toting Safe with its unstable vocal harmonies, the driving rock of Astronaut, or the surprise fucking sleazy sax solo in A Dangerous Thing. That last one is the one I'll leave you with—it's not all that distinctive of the album as a whole, but it will give you a example of the type of delights you will encounter if you take the time to spend with this album—truly my favourite album of the year. You'll like it: and that's all I have to say about it. That's it for the year of albums. I'm still going to post my Top Tracks (probably in one shot) in the next couple of days, as well as a big list of all my favourite music in order (I have about 100 albums and 200 tracks ranked), with playlists available for all of them. Until then, enjoy!