#(affectionate but still a bastard)

[crispycreambacon]

[Image Description in the Alt Text]

Ever wondered what happened to the puppets stuck in the Wondrium Arena?

So did the Professor and his meat shield/bestie westie, Ryan. Instead of waiting for an answer, they planned to get the puppets out of there. They even argued with God over it, or rather the Professor did since Ryan was too mentally out-of-it from the absolute absurdity of this situation.

And what did God give to them in return for winning the argument? A bus. To drive to the Wondrium Arena with. ‘Cause what better way to rescue a bunch of dead puppets than crashing a bus into their purgatory?

— ☆ —

I'm happy to announce the release of my first AO3 fanfic: Seatbelts, Everyone!

As you can see from the blurb above, it's a one-shot crackfic about the Professor and Ryan rescuing the puppets in the Wondrium Arena by crashing a bus into it. 'Cause why not?!

This fic has it all! We got:

Ryan learning how to drive a bus via WikiHow!

God being the absolute worst!

Silly puppet interactions!

Existential crises occuring throughout the fic!

An honestly heart-warming ending?

Y'all the line between silly jesting and sincere genuineness is so blurry in this fic. So if that all sounds like a jam of a time, you can read the fic via clicking here! Or clicking the title. Or searching up "Seatbelts, Everyone!" by crispycreambacon on AO3.

Thank you so much for checking it out! And even if you don't, I hope you enjoyed the comic. May you all have a fantabulous day!

#this comic took 10 HOURS but it was so worth it #I had a lot of fun drawing the expressions and giggling at myself while I poorly photobash to create the backgrounds #THANK GOD FOR IBISPAINT X FREE ASSETS FR FR #Not this God this god is an absolute bastard #(affectionate but still a bastard) #I missed making comics so much you have no idea!! #So proud of myself for completing this fic.. it's been so long since I've written a full story for fun #also fyi we have TWO non-binary icons (affectionate + derogatory) in this fic #the Professor and God #I'm sure you know which one is which :}}} #okay rambling over lemme uh #puppet history #the professor puppet history #the professor #ryan bergara #ryan beef boy bergara #shane madej #estranged producer shane madej #watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher fanart #art #artists on tumblr #fanart #chris p fried art #image described #chris p fried writings

[cedarsmoke4]

#karl heisenberg #resident evil village #re8 village #self insert #valentines day #he’s saying pussy in ASL btw #cedar doodles #sorry I’m late on this we had a family death and I haven’t really been able to draw until tonight #I’m doing Bad but at least Heisenberg is there for me #stinky garbage bastard #affectionately #also I spent like an hour on his face alone and still couldn’t quite get it right so #stinky garbage man (derogatory)

[nostalgia-tblr]

Hey do yous want to see my favourite bit from the first Thor film? It's this bit:

What's going on here? Why would anyone be standing behind that big gold pillar for any reason other than to slink out from behind it? There's nothing there! Not even the sinister shadows that I suspect were supposed to be on that part of the set.

Oh ho ho, here we go, here we goooooo!!!

Oh yeah, I absolutely 100% trust whatever this lad's about to say. That's the least shifty approach I've ever seen in my life. He barely even skulked.

Listen to him, Thor! I don't care what he's saying to you, it's definitely good advice whatever it is. See how he's leaning towards you in a completely un-conspiratorial manner, speaking quietly because he knows you're a sensitive type who gets nervous around loud noises. This is really good advice. You can tell because he looks so earnest.

Oh and here come some witnesses! I mean your friends!

You can safely ignore whatever he's saying now though, Thor. He's obviously got a bit intimidated by the success that lies ahead when you carry out this amazing plan that you've just come up with all by yourself after he suggested it.

Oof, he's very against you doing that thing that you're about to do! He's sooooo disappointed with the way this is going. He's just said it's madness! In a loud, clear voice that should have carried across the room quite well.

I wonder if any of the witnesses overheard that part of the conversation?

Aye. Aye, they did :)

#no really i love this bit #this is true cinema. this is art. this is making me want to check if my purse is still where i left it. #that's why i get a bit sad when people tell me loki was just lurking behind that pillar because it has such a nice view of the sunset #if i'm supposed to conclude from this scene that loki was entirely innocent at this point then someone's fucked up quite badly here. #i mean aside from thor. thor's definitely fucked up quite badly here. he's fucked up by listening to slinky mcslinkface. #all that later drama could have been avoided if only this room hadn't had huge pillars along one side that a person could lurk behind :'( #why were you even standing there in the first place you shifty wee bastard (affectionate)?! #thor (2011) #mcu tag i guess

[solradguy]

I am so easily distracted by sad monster men with beautiful hair and claws and perhaps a large sword

#textpost #Hold one out in front of me like pspspspsp and you can get me to do tricks #Siegfried needs to be more fucked up he like drank evil dragon blood and you can't even tell #I can make him worse #I still don't know his lore outside of that lmao but I wanna get to it in the game and not just read it on the wiki #There was untranslated Japanese text on the wiki and they do fan translations on there #I had to close the tab I can't cheat on Guilty Gear sorry Granblue Fantasy gacha game #My grandma used to have an absolute unit of a Maine coon named Siegfried that hated everyone #and it's an uncommon enough name that I still associate it with that cat #We called him Ziggy lol #So when I see Siegfried Granblue I do think of Siegfried Cat pretty often #He was grey with tabby markings and had a huge poofy tail lol #The only time he ever let me pet him was when he got really old. Rest in peace you grumpy bastard [affectionate]....

[somethhing-someethinng]

watching lego ninjago and there are so many small gems here like wow

that little dance zane did after flipping on his funny switch? chef kiss

*the great devourer emerges*

Wu, looks at the gang: GO!

Nya: flies the fuck out of there

everyone: 🧍

#check the notes for further update #lego ninjago #and thats just the first season #fact abt me #this the first time im watching lego ninjago #ive only ever seen like two episodes from season 8 #saw jay s u f f e r i n g #and decided that he was my favourite #now im watching it #and hes such a bastard (affectionate) #i still love him #fruit ninja #polyninja #zane julien #nya ninjago #wu ninjago

[ladybugkisses]

the hazbin brainrot is STRONG so i have no choice but to put my lackadaisy art streak on hold :'^)

#this is just a heads-up for anyone who did not follow me for hazbin content lmao #i've been unwell from the premiere to the finale and i'm still Not Okay ohhh my god #and of course i have other thoughts not surrounding him but #i missed my ugly bastard (affectionate) so much i'm back to reading every new alastor x reader content i can find like a starved animal- #anyway. i'm still hoping to have new cat content finished it's just cOMICS TAKE LOOONG #so y'all get alastari this saturday ♥️ #wheezes

[jokest3r]

Shot through the heart (fatally) and he's to blame ❤️‍🩹

Introducing "Blue" / "Norton" Shark, sole (begrudging) heir to the Shark fortune as well as budding Nepo baby psychopath I play as my GTAO PC !

#my art #gta online #gta oc #gta oc: blue/norton #still find it funny that i wrote him to be more of a vagabond that dislikes most government agencies/organizations yet has exes in both- #NOOSE and FIB #he is not water or plane friendly #he hates his father but doesnt deny the money given to him #he is the one blackmailing him for it anyways #i love my bastard son (affectionate) #hes mute for most people besides his mom and his favorite IAA agent #he will need his own tab soon i swear #my favorite criminal #maybe i can finally work on my agent 14 fic LOL

[panigamermauser]

Squid Smash😏

Honestly cannot believe that one of the most tender and romantic scenes in the game is with the squidman!🐙

(I need to reload and make him turn into Daisy too, and hope the cutscene is just as cute. Will keep squid save tho. Wysteria IS a horny monsterfucking bard, after all.)

And more naughty bits under the cut.

I am convinced companions do not talk about it because each of them thinks they just had a very weird dream 🤣🤣🤣

(Also, cannot praise enough the design of tiefling bodies. Perfection! 🤩)

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #tav around and find out #wysteria tav #bg3 guardian #Also I'm sure the fucker let them in on purpose. To show he has Tav under his sway. I very do not trust him. Not at all. I - as a player - #know that Stelmane was mind-controlled by him. Not the version of events he presents #but I am still so tempted to make a tavlock who will become squid empress with him #slimey bastard (affectionately)

[roseyjustice]

Role/aesthetic swap cause I like designing codependent messed up little guys <3

Ezra's version of the troupe is more of a roaming theater than a circus and Gri.mm would become a dancer once he joins c:

#self ship community #selfshiptember #selfshiptember 2023 #safeshiptember #self ship #romantic self ship #hk oc #hollow knight oc #hollow knight grimm #it took me the entire day to finish this #and the other piece peeking in the corner akdbkana #i had to take breaks but im proud of my self !! #also human grimm is such a cutie im pinching his cheeeks #i think vamp!ezra is much more affectionate than regular grimm #like he loves hanging off his grimm as much as he can #hes still a dramatic bastard like hk grimm tho lol #i need to draw the swaps and canon ones together some time ! #ship: forged in rituals promise🌹🎪 #jescove scribbles (art)

[runesinthenight]

John Constantine

This is the only productive thing I did today despite having internship applications and homework I should be doing. This bastard demanded to be drawn. So here he is.

Not sure how I feel about the smoke. Not super happy with that I don't think. But I like how John turned out.

#john constantine #the bastard #(affectionate) #giving me brain rot #still love him though #hellblazer #art #my art #traditional art

[fleetsonourgecentral]

what kinds of pranks do Sonic and Scourge do?

Pretends to be good at coming up with pranks for the sake of this ask

Honestly just think of every time Sonic has pretended to be dead or that a situation is hopeless, only to turn around and be like "lol bitch u thought". And then make it worse. Because those are their absolute favourite kind of pranks. Scourge's presence just makes everything worse because he'll think of ways to make it look more realistic. Poor Tails has a very vivid memory of Scourge coming home one day after a battle, ears flat against his skull, carrying a bruised and bloodied and lifeless Sonic in his arms, growling a choked-out explanation about how Robotnik... Sonic couldn't - that bastard is going to pay for what he...

And he lays Sonic on the sofa, disappearing elsewhere into the base, making small noises like he's about to start crying. And Tails is distraught and starts shaking Sonic, begging him to wake up, tearing up when he receives no response, and he's just taking a breath to start wailing-

And then Sonic screams "RAH!" and grabs him and Tails shrieks so loud it rattles the windows, and from the next room he can hear Scourge laughing his ass off. Fucker left the room in the first place not because he was crying, but because he was laughing

Tails sulked for a week straight about falling for that trick again and Sonic and Scourge were told to clean the damn fake blood off the sofa and off the floor (which they didn't do)

Those are the kind of shitty pranks they pull. Not the only kind of pranks they'll pull, they'll also steal Tekno's stuff while she's working to confuse her, she's sure she put that screwdriver around here somewhere, or they'll place important things in difficult to reach places and replace them with taunting notes, or (like you mentioned in your previous ask) will drop paint on someone. They especially like dropping paint on people. But occasionally pretending to fail a mission, or pretending that one of them is dead, is their favourite type of prank, although they don't do it often in order to keep it at maximum effect

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #headcanon #fleetway tails #i feel i should emphasize more that these two are absolute fucking bastards #just. the absolute worst #they fit because no one else should have to put up with being in a relationship with them #but the tradeoff is they often make each other worse and enable one another's bad habits #does scourge become less of a villain? #yes #but he's also going to make sonic worse #the balance isn't perfectly 50/50. overall scourge is receiving more good influence than sonic is bad #but there's still an influence #and honestly sonic is already such a dick who finds those kinds of 'haha u thought i was dead' jokes funny #it would not take much for scourge to enable that #'wow that's a horrible prank to pull' correct. it's because they suck (affectionate) #fun fact in the ghost au i have a scene in my head where the 'i'm dead' pranks come up #but it's from the freedom fighters' pov set right after they find sonic's body and it's not a very long or important section #so i doubt it will ever be written bc it's set before scourge even arrives in the fleetway dimension #but just know it's there. in my heart. and that maybe. sonic would feel bad about the pranks in death if he ever heard them talk about it

[dovesandoranges]

does anyone know of any trustworthy biographies of Brissot? either French or English is fine.

#personal #i'm still undecided on whether or not I want to include him but. also I've taken a liking to that little bastard (affectionate) #frev #brissot #jacques-pierre brissot #french revolution #what uh. other tags do people use here. um.

[across-stars]

just remembered I saw someone on reddit refer to Vanis knocking over B2EMO as kicking the family dog and asjkasissjla I guess so??

#edit: changed the misspelling of B2EMO oops #B2EMO #star wars #vanis tigo #andor #captain tigo #it's maybe a bit of an oversimplification but still gosh he is so pathetic (fans self) #and at a funeral of all things #he's such a bastard (affectionate) #don't like the yelling though that's just embarrassing : [ #anyways #i am once again procrastinating #with my comfort aka procrastination character #chit chat #yes i'm on first name basis with him #he suggested it himself 😔 #across-stars.post

[give-soup-please]

doing the 430 door achievement followed by sitting in the broom closet so the narrator can experience the ecstasies and the agonies

#tsp #the narrator #giving this game yet another go after taking 3+ weeks off of playing it #i'm literally listening to his dialogue as i write the tags here #i always return to the source material every so often to make sure his dialogue stays on point #sometimes it's about fishing for dialogue #other times it feels like giving an animal some enrichment #...kinda miss when his dialogue still gave me Big Feelings #no wonder the poor bastard wants to be listened to #the Big Feelings pipeline to the Affectionate Amusement pipeline #to the Dedicated Duty pipeline to the Appreciation of the Artist pipeline #to the Dwindling Delights pipeline to the... #you get the idea #it's hard to not tune him out actually #that didn't used to be a problem but it now requires active concentration to keep paying attention #so i can pay attention to the nuances to make sure i can copy his dialogue #the fact that stanley in Advanced Ludology could keep hearing 'the end is never the end' on a loop for quite a while before tuning it out #is extremely impressive #the new dialogue still makes me smile though #listening to the salty man complain about tape recordings now

[the1trueanon]

i swear i still have welcome home/actor au/reboot au stuff i wanna do and share im just currently being held hostage by a few certain portal robots

#*stares at glados and wheatley* #you sneaky bastards (affectionate) #i have literally come up with a whole story in the past few days #and some android art #ill maybe share it later #but i promise im still doing stuff #im not dead #and neither is my interest in welcome home #anon rambles #anon rambles in the tags #welcome home au #portal #portal 2

[teaandinanity]

Just saw a post like 'which one of these older phone models did you have' and like. None of them. I went DIRECTLY from an indestructible hand-me-down Nokia brick (the big one with the little antenna nubbin) to the first iPhone. I went from something I did not know how to text with to pocket internet, and I think that's beautiful.

#I am honestly still nostalgic for that phone #the little bastard (affectionate) was fucking indestructible #whereas every phone I have had since is like a racehorse #very pretty #very expensive #spectacularly and overtly suicidal #but the prospect of pocket internet really was too tempting to pass up