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#(anywayyyy it's too early for this)
rawliverandgoronspice · 3 months
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oh nooooo not me forgetting to not go on zelda youtube and being forced to reckon with the sheer magnitude of its fanbase's unchecked racism
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hiddenbeks · 13 days
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hmmmm i may be back. tentatively
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rosicheeks · 9 months
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I hope you’re doing good.
I miss you.
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minustwofingers · 9 months
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exoplanet part 7
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used)
series masterlist (read parts 1-6 here!)
summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf
warnings: stuck up awful rich people. mentions of: abortion (sowwy ** i can't write kids), homophobia, throwing up, general awful elitism, heavy drinking, implied minor character death, and we talk about stuff like unethical labor practices/basically slave labor. depictions of: violence, guns.
a/n: hey yall....sorry for taking literal months to write this. and sorry in advance for what you're about to read, since this is admittedly a little far removed from tlou. and i'm also sorry if this isn't what you guys are expecting—i know i made you wait a long time for this, so it was tough for me to finally get around to posting because i didn't want to disappoint anyone. also it was just sooo sad writing the last scene because i just didn't want it to end!! anywayyyy enjoy
wc: 14.6k (i know...i know...)
tags: @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @sugarqueencosmos @iriswalrus @chiao1209 @lovecaraya @thatgiraffefromtlou @alwayslongingforyou @thelastofshimmer
May 16th, 2029
Welcome to AskAI! Enter your questions below and I'll try my best to answer :) 
How does Cordyceps spread?
Ophiocordyceps unilateralis is mostly commonly spread between humans by the medium of bodily fluids, though this was not always the case. In the early stages of the outbreak, most carriers were infected by the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores in flour from a Jakartan mill. It is still unclear how the contamination occurred. 
Is saliva included in bodily fluids that carry Cordyceps?
Yes, Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. Other bodily fluids include blood, feces, mucus, and semen.
So if someone were to kiss someone infected with Cordyceps, would that person be infected too?
Yes, because Ophiocordyceps unilateralis can be spread through human saliva. 
How long would it take before seeing symptoms?
If Ophiocordyceps unilateralis spores were to be introduced to an individual via mouth-to-mouth transmission, the approximate incubation window has been recorded to be no longer than 8 hours.
How long would it take to be detected by a standard testing device?
Our testers would detect the presence of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis within an hour after exposure. Note that this only refers to the conditions outside of Terranova. There has never been a detected case of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis in Terranova’s history. 
Thank you.
You’re welcome! Please leave feedback on the AskAI Feedback Form if you have any ideas as to how I can improve <3
One year later
“And there’s no way we can skip?” 
“You know the rules.”
Dina rolled her eyes and sighed as you two stood at the door of your parents’ penthouse, waiting to knock. “Maybe if you went and I said that I was sick or something.”
“They’d know you were lying.”
“They’d probably be happy if I missed dinner.” 
“I don’t know if happy is something they can be,” you said. You tried to make it light and joking, but it came out with the heaviness of truth. “Plus, they’re not exactly thrilled with me either.”
“Not exactly thrilled” was the understatement of the century. Ever since you’d come home with a pregnant outsider toting a gun and covered in dirt, your parents had convinced themselves that you’d somehow become corrupted over your time living outside. 
But Dina had it way worse. Your parents were so scandalized by her rugged ways and the fact that she’d gotten pregnant out of wedlock that they’d nearly fainted upon realizing you were advocating for her Terranovan citizenship. 
You both had had the good fortune of avoiding any further tense interactions with them for the last few months, but that morning you’d awoken to an email that contained an invitation to their home for dinner. It was noted that Dina had to attend.
So here you two were. Dressed in uncomfortable, stiff clothes and nervously twiddling your thumbs. 
“You’re going to be fine,” you promised Dina. It sounded like a lie. “I’ll do most of the talking, okay?”
“If you say so.” 
You rang the doorbell.
It took just a few moments before the door swung open.
“Hi Chris!” you greeted, plastering a smile on your face. 
Your family housekeeper smiled back with a neutral warmth. She looked slightly thinner than you remembered when you saw her last just a few months ago. “Hello. Miss Dina, please remember to keep your shoes on this time.” 
Dina flushed bright red. The last time she’d come over for dinner, she’d taken her shoes off and had been given a very stern lecture by your mother about how improper stockinged feet were for dinner. “Of course not, ma’am.” 
You sent her an apologetic look and stepped inside.
“Your parents are in the sitting room,” Chris told you as she took your coats. 
You thanked her.
“Why don’t they ever come up to greet us themselves?” Dina whispered to you. 
You shrugged. “No clue. They just never have. They probably don’t want to have to take a break from whatever stimulating conversation they’re having about the country club happenings.”
She snorted. All of a sudden, you were overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for Dina and her spirit. After your family had essentially decided you were hopeless, family get-togethers had become torture. Dina was your lifeline.
As Chris had said, your parents were found lounging in the sitting room, your mother fanning herself with one hand and holding what looked to be a gin and tonic in the other, your father sitting across from her in a tastefully worn armchair. 
“Girls,” your mother greeted. Her eyes looked flinty and flat. “How good of you to come. I was worried you’d lost your way.”
It was a classic Y/L/N insult for latecomers, but it was barely a minute past 6:30. 
“The elevator wasn’t working,” you offered. “We had to take the stairs.”
“Hm. Well, come and sit. Petra can get you a drink.” 
A tall girl who couldn’t have been much younger than you was standing at the other end of the room next to the bar. She had bright ginger hair that stood out starkly against the neutral beige of her uniform and a small, squatty nose. You’d never seen her before in your life. 
“Is she new?” you asked.
“Who, Petra? Oh, I think so. It must’ve been…oh, I’m not sure. This March, I believe? What do you think, darling?”
“Around then.” The solid ice globe slid against the glass with a clink as your father answered, taking a long pull of his bourbon after. 
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Dina politely.
Your mother let out a labored sigh. “Dear, I’m very glad to see you working on manners, but there’s no need to engage with the help.”
Dina didn’t answer, instead sending you a meaningful look. 
“Well, not usually,” she continued. “Though it is appropriate to interact with them in matters that are considered strictly business. Take, for example, the fact that neither of you have managed to order a drink yet. Petra, come.”
You stared at your hands, folded tightly in your lap. If there was anything you hated more than your parents, it was how they treated the help. And, though you’d never say it out loud, you didn’t understand how two middle aged adults needed more than one full-time housekeeper on hand. Chris made sense. Petra was entirely unnecessary. 
“We really don’t need anything,” you said to Petra when she was in front of you, looking rather pale. “But thank you.” 
The tension in the air refused to dissipate, not even when you were relocated to the dining room and had the crutch of picking away at the three courses served to you. 
Dina, having been thoroughly scolded by your mother the last time she dined with her, was clinical in choosing which utensil to use for each course. 
Your mother babbled on and on about the country club and the book club. Your father occasionally butted in with a few dull, lifeless comments. There was something especially dead in his appearance, like he was running on zero sleep.
“You may be curious as to why I asked you two here today,” your mother said after the main course plates had been cleared. “First of all, I wanted to extend my congratulations to my daughter for graduating in just a few days.” 
“Thank you,” you said stiffly. 
“And more importantly—” 
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
“—I wanted to announce that your father will finally be retiring,” she said. “He’s been working so hard for the last few years. Isn’t this wonderful?”
“That’s really great, Father,” you said, feigning a smile to hide your confusion. You hadn’t known that your father had even worked, much less hard enough to warrant a formal retirement. 
“Thanks, dove,” he said.
“When’s your last day?” you pried, wondering if you could manage any more information out of him. 
“This Friday.”
“Hm.” So much for that. You exchanged glances with Dina as Petra reappeared with a tray of small goblets filled with colorful globes of sorbet. 
“You’ll both be expected to be in attendance at his retirement party,” Mother added. She was frowning deeper now. 
“Even me?” said Dina.
“Yes.” She smiled tightly. “And please note that they’re unaware that we helped you through your…little problem. I can’t imagine why that would ever come up in conversation, but I would really prefer it didn’t.”
“Uh huh,” responded Dina, her eyes wide. 
When Dina had arrived, your family had given her two options—have her child and give it up for adoption, or terminate the pregnancy then and there in secret. Refusing to comply would lead to your parents being entirely unwilling to sponsor her citizenship as it was far too unseemly to be an unmarried mother. Though it was clear your parents thought she was devastated by the prospect, she’d confided in you later that she hadn’t realized that that had been an option for her. She’d taken the second option without a second thought, telling you that she didn’t feel ready to be a mother. 
The unfortunate part of it all was that your parents held this over her head on occasion, using it as leverage to make Dina feel like she owed them. Hence why she never felt entirely comfortable with telling them off. 
That your parents had kept the abortion a secret was hardly a surprise. Abortion was one of those issues that no one liked to talk about. Though it wasn’t the hardest procedure to get, it was never publicly discussed. You’d never personally known of anyone who had gotten one before, but the clinic had been so full when you’d attended with Dina nearly a year ago that you were beginning to second guess that fact. 
“Anyway,” said your mother lightly, “Darling, have you heard anything from the Thompsons recently?” 
“Oh, no. I haven’t seen Richard in quite some time.”
“It’s funny you say that. Melanie was supposed to host the Garden Club party last week, and you’ll never believe what happened.”
“What, honey?” Your father stared dully at the tablecloth, entirely unengaged. 
“When I stopped by, the rest of the girls were already there,” your mother said. “Just sitting out in front of her building looking very confused. I walked right up and asked what was going on—you know, now that I’m co-president, I need to keep things in order—”
“Yes, honey.”
“—And Angie tells me that they’ve been ringing her for ten minutes and she hasn't answered. I decided to give her a call, and straight to voicemail. So we all sat out there until it started raining. We never even got an apology text.” 
“Oh,” said your father, looking a little more engaged. “Is that really?”
“Yes,” your mother said. The attention made her sit up straighter. “It absolutely was. It was incredibly inappropriate. I couldn’t believe it. And to think that she stole that hosting spot from me…”
“Do you know if she’s alright?” your father asked,
She shrugged. “I should hope not. That’s the only excuse she could have for what happened.”
“Hm.” Your father moved the melting sorbet around without clinking his spoon to the crystal. “It seems that quite a few of us have been dropping off the face of the Earth.”
“It must be because of the long winter,” you said diplomatically. “Too much darkness makes us all a little loony.”
Your mother raised a brow and hummed in assent. “I suppose so.”
“Is that why groceries are so expensive now?” you asked. It had become a new development. About 6 months after you and Dina had returned, the prices on the shelves had rocketed upwards.
“Something like that,” your father said vaguely. 
“What does that mean?”
“Y/N,” your mother warned.
“It’s alright, dear,” your father said, waving his hand. “It’s really nothing interesting. Supplying this city has always had its challenges. This year just happens to be especially hard.”
“What kind of challenges?” pried Dina.
“Shipments are always difficult to orchestrate,” he said. “As is quality control. It’s nothing that we haven’t seen before. Prices will go back to usual within a few months. The pendulum always has to swing back.”
It was a saying he always used—the pendulum analogy.
Dessert wrapped up quickly. Your mother gave you the official date for your father’s retirement party and ironed out your graduation details, and before you knew it you and Dina were off into the night. 
“Thank fucking god that’s over,” said Dina as you two trotted down the street to the metro. 
“Tell me about it.” You zipped up your jacket to ward off the slight chill in the evening air. “I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that. I appreciate you coming with me. I know they’re awful to you.”
“Well, they’ll be worse if I don’t go,” she responded, her eyes cloudy for a second. She was right. One misstep and they could have her citizenship and their financial sponsorship rescinded. 
“True,” you conceded. 
The metro was bustling with people as you and Dina hopped on to the yellow line that would take you to the university residences. It was modeled right after the Parisian metros, with its Art Nouveau signs and themed stops.  There was only standing room, so you two clutched onto the stainless steel poles in the middle. 
The doors made a groaning sound and a speaker crackled as the announcer came on.
“Doors closing. Please stand clear of the exits. This is an express train with service to University Park. Other stops include 25th Street and North Village. There will be no evening service to Rotingham.” 
You and Dina seemed to come to an unspoken agreement to remain silent and process the hell that had been dinner with your parents as the train lurched forward into motion. You closed your eyes and would’ve rested your head against the handrail had it not been so gross. 
The only fortunate thing about your parents was the fact that they were incredibly easy to get to, despite living on the other side of the city from the university. What would’ve normally taken 40 minutes with transfers was cut down to 15 with the use of an express train that ran right from the station outside of your apartment. 
You had resolved to just sit in silence when the train came to a screeching halt. 
Your eyes shot open, meeting Dina’s confused gaze. 
The lights above flickered, then sputtered out to leave you in darkness. 
There was a hushed silence amongst everyone in your train car. 
“What’s going on?” Dina whispered to you. 
“This happens sometimes,” you said quietly back, but it was sort of a lie. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for the lights to go out, but you’d never had it happen in tandem with a train stopping on the tracks before reaching a station. And especially not an express train…
The lights flickered on again, and there was a shared sense of relief as a few of the train’s occupants let out a shaky laugh. 
“Thought we were going to have to walk!” said a ruddy looking old man sitting across from you. The car responded with polite chuckles. 
“Apologies for the delay,” came a voice over the loudspeaker—a human voice, not an automated one. “There was a disturbance on the tracks that had to be dealt with. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Service will continue as usual.”
The train lurched back into movement, the dark walls of the tunnel moving past in a blur.
“That was weird,” Dina remarked once you two had gotten to your stop and were walking up to ground level.
“Yeah,” you said, frowning. “I didn’t want to tell you then because I didn’t want to freak you out, but normally express trains never stop, especially not at this time of night with less trains in service.”
“What qualifies as a disturbance on the tracks?”
“I have no clue,” you confessed. The sun was hovering just barely over the horizon, its last rays of light reflecting aggressively off of the skyscrapers in the distance from which you came. “Someone probably dropped something big like a suitcase onto the tracks and blocked the way. It happens.” 
You were purposefully avoiding the elephant in the room—that it had probably been a person on the tracks. It wasn’t especially common—not nearly as common as you heard it was in places like New York before the outbreak—but it happened on occasion. Terranova wasn’t the best place for everyone.
“The Thompsons are Simon’s family, right?” Dina asked you. She had to raise her voice to be heard over the cheerful chatter of fellow university students socializing and drinking on the green next to the sidewalk.
“Yeah,” you said. You and Dina had occasionally hung out with Simon since returning. You noticed that Simon had really taken a liking to Dina, but neglected to mention it since his parents were actively attempting to arrange a marriage between him and some girl in the Art History program at your school. “Have you talked to him at all? I haven’t heard from him for a week or so.”
“Me neither.” Dina tightened the dark braid that fell over her shoulder as she walked, looking rather troubled. “I didn’t realize his parents were missing.”
“They’re probably fine,” you said. “I seriously wouldn’t worry about it. There’s nothing here that could hurt them.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I just forget that there’s no infected here sometimes. Like, tonight, I thought I was gonna have to start swinging on someone in the train when the power cut.” 
“God, same.” You shivered. “It’s weird to know that we don’t have to worry about that anymore. But I think it’ll get easier with time.”
“Yeah,” said Dina, but she didn’t sound convinced. “Well, I’m going to text Simon and see if he’s alright. Or maybe call him. I’m sure he’ll know what happened.” 
“Let me know what he says.” You’d ascended the steps up to your shared apartment and were slotting the key into the keyhole. “By the way, did I ever formally invite you to my graduation?”
“Not that I recall.” Dina followed you in and kicked her shoes off.
“Well, consider this your formal invitation,” you said, turning to grin at her. “It’s this Saturday. Be there or be square.”
“Will there be free food?”
“And anything you want to drink,” you told her, though you weren’t entirely sure of that fact. You’d only ever been to one graduation in your life, and that had been years before it was socially acceptable for you to drink anything beyond the odd glass of watered down wine—but you recalled a memory of particularly free-flowing champagne flutes being passed around. 
“Consider me sold.” 
~
You had to be going crazy. There was no way. 
You entered the numbers back into the graphing software again. Then again. Then one more time, just to be sure you were seeing what you were seeing. 
“Everything going alright over there?” asked old Professor Gunther, looking up from his grading and his steaming cup of tea. 
“Um—” You blinked, hard, then looked back down at your calculations. “Professor, can you look at these for me? I think I must’ve made a mistake.”
“Of course, my dear.” He graciously accepted the notepad full of barely legible numbers that you came up to hand to him and adjusted the glasses on his face so he could squint more efficiently. “And what is this exactly?”
“I’ve been parsing through the data on that star—that K star you’d been watching for a while—and, um, I’ve noticed something.” Your voice shook nearly as much as your hand as you pointed to the scribbled numbers. “Can you, uh, graph these? And put them into a different program than StarBlast? And look at the spectra? It’s giving me what I think is—actually, I don’t know. You do it and I’ll show you what I got.” 
“I’m confused about what you could have possibly done wrong,” he said, though he was already opening his own laptop and starting up a different program that you hadn’t used before because of how much you hated the GUI. “Did you try to parse it by hand to check?”
“Yes,” you said. “Horrible idea. Took me forever.” 
“And you got the same result?”
“Yeah.”
“Hm.” He took off his glasses to wipe them off, then began typing in the data you’d emailed to him earlier for bookkeeping purposes. “Let me see what I have.” 
The agonizing few minutes it took for him to enter him already had your mind spiraling with possibilities as the implications sunk in. If you were right—if this was right—everything was going to change in your field. 
The spectra graph roared to life.
“Jesus Christ,” you heard your professor say. “Is this—”
“I think so,” you said. “I think so.”
What you two were looking at held more than one piece of crucial information. The first was nothing but basic calculations of a Doppler Shift that detected that there was a planet. Your calculations estimated its size at roughly the same as the Earth, with a similar orbital period and distance from its star that placed it in the habitable zone.
That wasn’t anything earth-shattering. There were plenty of Earth-sized planets in the habitable zone, implying that if the conditions were right, there was an environment conducive to organic life. 
What was, however, were the spectra emissions that you were staring at, slack-jawed and skin prickling. 
“Methane,” you whispered. “And oxygen. And phosphine.” 
And not just a little—enough that it suggested biological processes that could only occur with the presence of life.
“I think you should finish writing this report,” Professor Gunther finally said. 
You froze. “What?” 
He turned to you, his glasses sliding down his bulbous nose and a kind smile on his face. “I’ve made enough discoveries in my life. This one is yours to claim.” 
You were overcome with so much gratitude that you launched yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
Gunther good-naturedly patted your back with the enthusiasm of a grandfather being pestered by his grandchildren. “This is your moment. Take it.” 
“Thank you,” you said, pulling back with tears welling up in your eyes. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 
He smiled again. “It’s truly my pleasure. I feel lucky to have had a student like you.” 
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to start crying.”
“We can’t have that,” he said, standing up and handing you back your sheet of calculations. “You have work to do.”
You settled back into your work across from him, nearly buzzing with excitement as you finished typing up your findings. It would be a long process for the study to actually be published—long, painful, and undoubtedly draining—but it would be so worth it. You’d be the one who discovered a planet that (most likely) harbored life. For the first time in history. 
Though you wouldn’t be publishing a paper any time soon, you still had to log the planet into the “global” (not exactly global given that there was no other place on Earth with the same technology as Terranova) database. And with that meant giving it a name.
In that moment, it was like time froze as the cursor blinked in the box. There was nothing but the blood rushing in your head, the dull hum of the fluorescent lights above, and the slight stickiness of the leather desk chair beneath you. 
You gulped. It was standard in the department to name planets after the astronomer that discovered them. You’d never had a planet named after you before. You’d only ever crunched numbers that Gunther had given to you to analyze spectra emissions. This was the first time you’d ever actually discovered something that hadn’t already been logged before it had landed on your desk.
And yet…
You closed your eyes. Suddenly you were back in the meadow at Jackson, tracing the wisps of the Milky Way with your finger as you and Ellie talked about the constellations. You saw the childish excitement on her normally stern features when she held the moon rock for the first time. You saw the wonder in her eyes when you told her a new space fact that she’d never heard before. That she’d never had the opportunity to learn before. 
Your fingers moved before you could stop them, quickly tapping out the name “Ellie” into the box and hitting the enter button. 
For the rest of the day, you regretted it. You tried not to think of her anymore. It was something that you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t do after you spent the entirety of last summer miserable and doing nothing but turning over the memories in your mind until Dina made you do something with her. 
It was difficult. You wanted to put it in the past, because you couldn’t think about her without thinking about how she probably wasn’t even alive anymore. Which didn’t make any sense. Nothing ever made any sense about Ellie. Even before you predicted she’d been bitten, she’d already been behaving erratically—not packing her things, not saying a real goodbye to Joel, catching more food than their small group of three could possibly need near the end. It was like she knew that she wouldn’t be able to go.
Which didn’t make any sense, because why go all that way knowing that it was for nothing?
Which made you think about how bizarre she was before leaving. How sad she seemed when she told you that she was going, like even then she knew that it wouldn’t happen. 
And you hadn’t gotten sick from her, even though you should have. She’d kissed you long after she would’ve been bitten. And you knew from your frantic research upon arriving that you should have tested positive when Simon checked. 
So why hadn’t you? And why had she?
It was things like this that could keep you up for days if you weren’t careful. It was awful, but sometimes you liked to believe that she had really been sick and had died shortly after. You had a vision of her killing herself before fully turning, and even though it hurt to imagine it, it was the most humane end of them all. If she was dead, then maybe there was an afterlife, and maybe a piece of her was watching over you. Maybe she was still with you. Maybe she finally was able to rest. 
You hoped that little piece of her had seen her name the first planet with life after her.
A tiny smile crept across your face, but inside you felt devastated. You were going to mourn her again all day, like you always did when something reminded you of her. And you were probably going to dream of her, of her stupid grin and the way her hair felt when it tickled your face. 
Pull it together you thought glumly. You had to be normal for your father’s retirement party that night, and you had just under 4 hours to do so. 
~
“Ugh,” you said, staring at your phone as you stood with Dina near the door, both of you dolled up and ready to go to the party.
“That’s how I feel too,” said Dina. “I’m going to kill myself if anyone brings up anything about how hard my childhood must’ve been and how I’m doing such a good job adjusting one more time.”
“Ha,” you said. “Mom just texted me to tell me that we need to stop by theirs first.”
“Why? Aren’t they already at the venue?”
“Yeah,” you responded, wrinkling your nose. “But apparently she forgot her gift for him—some vintage Rolex she got restored for him.”
“A vintage what?”
“Stupidly overpriced wristwatch,” you explained. 
It took less time than usual to get to their building. Despite it being at peak busy hour, the platforms seemed eerily empty.
“Is there some holiday going on?” Dina asked, sitting across from you so that you both had your own row of seats. 
“Oh, I’m such an idiot,” you said, clapping your forehead with your hand. “Of course there is. That’s why my father held his retirement party today. It’s the first day of this festival that goes all week.”
“What’s it for?”
“I honestly don’t know the background,” you admitted. “Most people just use it as an excuse to get incredibly drunk. I think it has something to do with the founding. It’s, like, the only time that public intoxication is okay.” 
“Damn,” said Dina thoughtfully. 
“The trains will probably fill up on our way back,” you said, sighing. “Hopefully it won’t be too bad. Worst comes to worst we can walk.”
“It gets that bad?” 
“There’s hardly standing room,” you said, recalling the last festival you’d been around for—the summer before you’d been catapulted to Jackson. “And it just reeks of drunk people. And you have to be really careful, because I hear the custodial staff has to work overtime to clean up all the vomit.” 
“Gross,” said Dina. “And here I was thinking that it was just all being proper and mannerly.”
“Everyone has their limits,” you said lightly.
The penthouse felt just as oppressive as when you came for dinners, like you were walking into the lair of a dragon who was coming back at any moment. Chris was gone—likely participating in the festival herself—but you were surprised to see the figure of Petra bent in a corner as you entered, dusting the top shelf of their bookcase.
You and Dina politely greeted her before ascending the steps to your father’s office.
“Why did your Mom put it in here?” Dina asked as you began shuffling through papers to find the box that your mother had described over text.
“My father doesn’t work in here all too often,” you said, opening a few drawers and seeing no trace of the green and gold box. “He just uses it to file away things.” 
“What does he do?” 
“I actually have no clue,” you confessed. “He doesn’t talk about it, and I don’t ask.” 
“Do you want to see if we can find out?” Dina asked with a conspiratorial raise of her eyebrow as she motioned towards the filing cabinets. “Just a quick look. They’ll never know that we were here.”
You took a moment to consider. If Chris had answered the door to let you two in, you would’ve told her that you couldn’t, because she would definitely snitch if she knew. But she was nowhere to be seen, and Petra looked like she was busy enough downstairs. 
“Sure. Why not.” 
The first few cabinets held nothing interesting—just spending reports and copies of contracts that were written in legalese. 
“It looks like he works with whoever supplies this place,” remarked Dina as you two skimmed the papers and saw records of contacts all over the continent, from the old continental US and South America, each detailing something boring about shipping dates and inventory. 
But then came the third cabinet, with papers dated back before you were born with what looked like sketches of barren looking buildings and hand-scrawled notes. 
“What are these?” you breathed, laying them out on the ground. 
“I think…” Dina squinted. “I think that these might be manufacturing plants?” 
“Oh?” You dug further around in the cabinet to see if you could find any further illuminating evidence. 
“Yeah,” said Dina, staring as she began to flip through the pages already on the floor. “Holy shit, dude. This is…sort of messed up. Look at how small these living quarters are.”
You peered over her shoulder to see the architectural sketches of what looked to be more of what you imagined a prison to be. There were long bunks stacked on top of each other in what looked to be a never ending line, the mattresses barely even large enough to be considered twins. 
Someone cleared their throat behind you, and you nearly leapt.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” said Petra. Her voice was low and raspy. You noted that it was the first time she’d ever spoken.
“Oh, uh—” You began to frantically gather the papers, hoping she hadn’t seen. Would she tell your parents? “Sorry if we disturbed your work. My parents, uh, they asked us to get something from—”
“It’s fine,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you.” You stared up at her steely green eyes, wondering what had compelled her to approach you and Dina. “Um, is there anything we can do to help you?”
“Don’t drink the bourbon,” she said, so quickly that it seemed to fluster her. 
“What? Why?”
“Just don’t do it,” she said again. “Better yet, don’t drink anything except for the water.”  
“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling genuinely apologetic. “I’m not sure if I understand.”
Something crossed over Dina’s face, and suddenly something in her seemed to shift. Her features paled. She knew something you didn’t.
“I came from one of those places,” Petra said, motioning to the diagrams that you were staring at. “They’re not—they’re not somewhere you want to be. We all try our best to come here. That’s what they tell us, you know. Do well enough and you’ll get sent to where everyone gets to live a life of grandeur and luxury. But they barely send anyone, and when they do, they get shitty positions like this.” 
Your breath caught in your throat as your understanding slowly grew. Of course. How had you been so stupid to think that wealthy people were ever going to have any of their kind work any real job? 
“You two were the ones who came from outside, right?” Petra continued. When you two nodded, she crouched next to you. “And you were wondering what was going on with the prices?”
You nodded again, awestruck.
“Your Dad’s little spiel on it being about bad weather is bullshit,” she said, her words hard. “People are getting tired of this. They’re realizing they’re never getting out. You know what it’s like out there—it’s scary. It’s tiring. So many people get sick, so many die. So when people finally caught onto the fact that the work they’re doing is nothing but dressed up slavery and that their chances of getting out are basically zero, they start doing things to mess with the system.”
“Like contaminating the products?” Even as she said it, it seemed like Dina already knew the answer. 
Petra just gave you two a long look. 
“So that’s what he meant by quality control,” you said, the realization hitting you. 
“Among other things.” 
“How long do you think we have?” asked Dina.
“Not very long at all.” 
“You guys can’t be serious,” you said, nervous laughter catching in your chest. “Do you seriously mean that Terranova isn’t going to be around for much longer? Is that what you’re saying?”
Petra shrugged and stood up. “Believe whatever you want. But from where I stand, it looks like there’s only two possible ways out of this situation. That is, unless you guys all become farmers.”
“I don’t think I’m following,” you said.
“Two options,” Petra said, sighing heavily. “Either we starve or we don’t. And the latter means taking a really big fucking chance on what we bring in.”
“But the system has worked for so long,” you said, more to yourself than anyone else. 
“Too long,” she amended. “It was never sustainable. Maybe if you people had been okay with just eating native plants and wildlife. Maybe if you people were okay with changing your way of life. But no, you just had to have your fucking oranges from Florida and your coffee from South America.” 
“Don’t lump me into this,” said Dina. “I just got here.” 
Petra laughed, but it was a hard and sharp sound. “Well, chances are you won’t be here for long.”
“Hang on,” you said. “We’re still doing quality control inspections. The most likely scenario is that we’re going to have to cut down on imports—not that we’re about to go up in flames any minute.”
“I hope you’re right about that,” she said in that voice that told you that she thought that you definitely weren’t and didn’t see the point in arguing further. “Anyways, I’ve got to finish working so I can get home before dark. Be careful, okay?” 
“You too,” you said. “And thanks for…not saying anything.”
It was a bit presumptuous considering that Petra hadn’t really given you any good reason beyond her word that she wouldn’t mention you lurking in your father’s cabinets, so you and Dina were thorough in carefully placing each file back into the correct place, just in case. 
“Do you really think what she said is true?” you asked once you and Dina had located the watch and were on the metro once again.
Dina shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“Look,” said Dina. “I know that this might be hard for you to hear, but I’m pretty sure this place lives off of what’s basically slave labor. If there’s any humanity left in the world, I would like to think that Terranova would eventually fall.” 
You swallowed hard, then blinked. For a moment you thought you were going to throw up. “I never knew. I didn’t realize.”
“Of course you didn’t.” Dina’s voice was surprisingly patient. “You were a kid. But you’re not anymore, so it’s time to grow up and face the music.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t either.” 
The two of you fell into a silence as the train sped past empty platforms bathed in shadows and you thought and thought and thought. 
There was just too much happening today. First Gunther’s lab, then Ellie, now your entire worldview toppling. 
As the train windows continued to blur the background of the tunnels and empty stations, your mind spun with reflections of your childhood—of you enjoying simple luxuries that you didn’t realize came at the expense of others. That you didn’t even think to ask about. You’d mindlessly trudged along, eating your exotic fruits and drinking your expensive tea and wearing clothes built from indulgent fabrics just because you could. Even when Dina had asked where the oranges came from all the way back in Jackson, you hadn’t let yourself wonder. You hadn’t let yourself consider the possibility that it was anything less than the sanitized fairyland that you’d been brought up in—perhaps because you knew all along. 
And that made it even worse.
Dina seemed to understand, sending you a few glances without prodding. 
“Do you think we need to leave?” you asked, your voice just barely a whisper.
“Us leaving isn’t going to do anything,” Dina said, like she’d been expecting it. “And how would we even do that? It’s not like we can just charter a helicopter again to drop us off back in Jackson.” 
Something twisted inside of you. “Oh, God. You’re right. We couldn’t even leave if we tried.”
And you might have to try, a sinister voice inside you whispered. What if Petra was right about the contaminated products? What if they missed something when checking imports?
You’d never been taught how quickly the fungus spread in the original outbreak, and you knew little about the normal amount of time it would take any sort of disease to infect the entire population. But you did know how densely populated everything was. How reliant everything was on a few strictly maintained channels, like public transportation. 
It wouldn’t be hard for it to all come crashing down, really. It would just take the right place at the right time and—
“Don’t freak out, Y/N.” Dina laid a hand on your shoulder. “We’ll figure something out if it comes to that.” 
You smiled at her, grateful that you didn’t even have to put your words into thoughts. “But if we can’t leave, what do we do? It’s not like we can just sit by and do nothing.”
Dina pulled her bottom lip under her teeth, worrying it before answering. “I don’t really think that we have a choice. Right now, at least. I don’t know if there’s anything that just the two of us can do.”
“I’ll find more,” you said. “I’ll talk to my professors—my friends at university—Simon—”
“Do you think that we’re the only two that know about this?” asked Dina. “Because I really don’t. Maybe your friends don’t. But anyone in the military and anyone who was around when this was founded has got to know. They just don’t care enough.”
Something slowly iced over inside of you as the implications sunk in. 
Gunther had probably known. No, scratch that—he definitely did. He was an academic who had been in his 30s when the world fell apart. Any adult would have asked the same questions that Dina had upon arrival. 
“We’ll figure something out, I’m sure,” said Dina firmly. “Okay? Don’t worry.” 
“Speaking of Simon,” you said, narrowing your eyes, “Did you ever get in touch with him? Is his family okay?” 
“Oh, yeah.” said Dina. “He texted me back a bit ago. Said something about how he was just busy and that his family had been camping up in the mountains.” 
You two faded into silence. 
The retirement party came and went without much trouble. On the outside, at least. You were a mental wreck, barely able to keep it together as near strangers came up to you and expressed how much bigger you were since they’d seen you a decade and a half ago. 
You noted with muted suspicion that Simon’s parents were nowhere to be seen amongst the crowd, not even by the lavishly decorated bar. 
~
That night, you did dream of Ellie. It wasn’t the usual. Ellie wasn’t turning in front of you or bleeding or crying out in pain with a bite mark on her arm. She wasn’t yelling at you for failing her and letting her get bitten without even noticing. No; instead, she lay beside you in your meadow spot and talked to you.
And somehow that was so much worse.
“I named a planet after you,” you said, feeling hot tears pool at the seams of your eyes that you squeezed together to avoid sobbing. You knew you were dreaming. You always knew you were dreaming—seeing Ellie always seemed to prompt a degree of lucidity that was otherwise missing in your sleep. 
“That’s really fucking sappy of you.”
“I miss you.” It came out like a compulsion, like you couldn’t stop it. “Are you here? Are you with me?”
“Y/N,” Ellie said, turning to look at you. The darkness made it difficult to see her whole face, but you could see the look of pity on her features in the gray-blue of the moonlight. “Of course I’m not here. Don’t be stupid. I’m dead.”
“Sometimes I wonder if you’re not. Like, if something happened.”
“Something did happen. I died.” 
“Fuck you.”
She smiled sadly, and for a moment you thought her eyes looked more reflective than usual. “It’s not very helpful to think that way. And what can I tell you? I’m not even real.”
“I’d like you to try,” you whispered.
“Fine.” She sat up, pulling her legs into a lazy tangle as she looked at you. “What did you seriously expect, dude? You were never going to stay. I wasn’t going to go. If I hadn’t been bitten, I’m sure I would’ve orchestrated some way to get out of it. My family is back in Jackson. I liked you just fine, but you’re not my family. That shit’s deeper. Different.” 
You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. The sharp pain in your chest faded into a cold sense of familiarity. Then, because she wasn’t real and there was no reason to feel embarrassed about bearing your emotions: 
“You feel more like family than anyone here.” 
“Then that sounds like a you problem,” said Ellie, flatly. “I’m not gonna let you guilt trip me like this. Boo fucking hoo, you grew up richer than everyone else on Earth and had to deal with strict parents. Do you realize what actual, real problems are? What about the people who make your lifestyle possible, huh? What about them?”
“I didn’t know.”
“Then you’re fucking stupid.” 
The tears were streaming freely down your face now. “I would do anything to be back with you. I wanted to stay. I miss you so much. I don’t know what to do with myself without you.”
“And I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” 
“Will you just say that you miss me too? You don’t have to mean it. I just want—I just want to hear it.” 
“I can’t miss you. I’m not around anymore.” 
Ellie watched as you curled in on yourself and sobbed so hard you thought you were going to be sick. 
“You’re so weak,” she said after a few minutes. There was no venom in her tone. It was as if she was merely relaying something as inconsequential as the weather to you. “All you do is expect other people to care for you.” 
Not real. Not real. Not real you repeated to yourself in your mind with growing franticness. 
She wasn’t real. None of this was real. Ellie was never that affectionate with you, but this was another level. This was something personal. 
“You said that being weak isn’t bad.”
“And you said that you were going to make sure I was going to get to Terranova.”
 “And it’s not my fault that you decided to go gallivanting alone in the woods.”
“You could’ve tried harder.”
“I did as much as I could.”
“Sure you did.” 
You bolted awake. The hair at the nape of your neck was wet with the slick of sweat. For a moment, you let yourself catch your breath, reorient yourself in your surroundings. 
Your room. You were in your dorm room, with your space posters and your books. Ellie hadn’t been here. She hadn’t said that. You were okay.
A blaring noise jarred you as you realized that your alarm had made you wake up. Your alarm, because it was graduation day and you needed to be ready for a full day of festivities. 
“Fuck,” you muttered, scrubbing your face with you hands. The last thing you wanted to do after this was have to see your parents and pretend like you like them for appearances. 
She's gone. She's gone. She's gone you repeated in your head like a mantra. It was over. You shouldn’t have named that stupid planet after her, because she was gone and she always would be.
It would only be a matter of time until your parents would start asking you about your dating life, you realized as you brushed your teeth over the shiny white basin of your sink, the minty bubbles making your lips tingle. They’d been willing to entertain your reasoning of wanting to focus on your studies while you were at university, but you knew they’d been looking for prospective engagements behind your back.
It took you longer than usual to get ready, your mind wandering as you lingered in different corners of your apartment. You kept the lights off, opting to let the cool, gray daylight from the gloomy clouds wash the surfaces of your room. 
“Hey,” said Dina, appearing from her own room and leaning against the doorframe. 
“Good morning,” you greeted blandly, your attention on the necklace that just wouldn’t clasp around your neck.
“Looking spiffy,” she said. “By the way, did Simon say anything to you?” 
“No.” You paused and turned to her, a frown on her face. As far as you were concerned, you really had no reason to be in contact with Simon beyond the general pleasantries. 
“He just called me,” said Dina. “He seemed—I dunno. Like, weirdly frantic. He was saying that we need to stop by his.” 
“His” was inconveniently on the opposite side of the city, even further past your parents’ place. 
“Why? Pretty far for a short jaunt.” 
“He was really insistent,” pressed Dina. Her long black curls were unruly, her skin sallow in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. She hadn’t been sleeping as well recently, it seemed, just like you since you’d spoken to Petra. “Maybe we should just stop by.” 
“Did he say anything about why?”
“I tried to ask,” said Dina, frowning. “But the call dropped.”
“I hate how horrible service is in your room,” you said. 
“Me too. Anyway, are we gonna see him?” 
You shrugged. “I guess. We have some time. I’ll text him too just to see what’s going on.” 
Dina was ready in just a few minutes, pulling a light blue sweatshirt over her shirt and stepping into her shoes. 
“You look soooo cute,” she said, pinching your cheeks. “My little grad.”
You rolled your eyes, but the size of your smile ruined it. 
For once in your life, you noticed that the university green outside of your apartment was suspiciously empty. 
“Quiet,” Dina noted as you made your way to the metro. “It’s eerie.” 
“People were probably partying all night,” you said. “Celebrating graduation and whatnot. I imagine everyone’s sleeping off a hangover instead of having to get up at the crack of dawn to voyage across the city.”
Dina held up her hands. “Gee. Sorry.” 
The train was a little more populated. Some older Terranovans had newspapers cracked as they licked their fingers to turn the page. The silent hum of the train lulled you into another soliloquy as the tunnel plunged you into darkness.
You had to stop thinking about Ellie. You needed to move on, as awful as it was. You’d named a planet after her. She’d be forever remembered in the stars, and that should be enough. You didn’t need to keep dragging her memory behind you like a corpse, because she was dead and she was never coming back and she was—
On the platform?
Your mouth dropped as the doors of the train slowly rolled open to reveal a short girl with shoulder length auburn hair slowly ambling towards the platform. She was wearing a pale green short sleeve that had some sort of edgy spatter pattern on it—something that was very Ellie-esque. But something wasn’t…
It took you one breath to notice that neither of her bare arms had any tattoos. It took you another to see that what you had initially assumed to be a pattern was actually blood-soaked fabric formed from red rivelets that trickled from a wound on her neck.
“Holy fuck,” you whispered, grabbing Dina’s hand. “Do you see—”
“Everybody run!” Dina screamed, leaping up from the train seat and dragging you with her as she bolted off the train and to the opposite exit. 
The girl wailed and barrelled towards the train car, her eyes locking onto the nervous movement of the passengers. You froze. It was slowly becoming obvious that this wasn’t Ellie, from the slightly different set of her eyes to the unfamiliar button nose. But it was hard to not feel anything but sympathy for the monster before you. She was just a girl, probably younger than you. 
“Fucking go, Y/N,” Dina snapped, yanking you harder and onto the platform just as Not-Ellie leapt onto one of the newspaper readers. “It’s not her.” 
She didn’t need to tell you twice. In seconds you two had sprinted to the mouth of the stairs, feet pummeling against the pavement as the sounds of the carnage unfolding behind you followed. 
You ran. You didn’t stop running, not even when the screams faded and you and Dina were blocks and blocks away, hidden in an alley. Not even when your lungs were so empty and sore that they felt like they were breaths away from breaking, not even when you were sure there was nothing left inside you.
Dina kept your pace, blindly following your lead as you darted in between streets and side alleys until you reached your parents’ apartment. 
“Do you think there’s more?” you managed to whisper through heaving voices once you stood on the steps. 
You and Dina hadn’t ran into anyone after the metro, undead or alive. 
“Not here,” hissed Dina. “Inside first. Then we evaluate after we’re safer.” 
For a moment, the phantom dread from your normal life spilled over and you were afraid of facing your parents. It was almost laughable—there were deranged infected hosts looking to eat your flesh roaming the streets, and you were worried about seeing your parents. 
“I’d almost prefer out here, too,” said Dina, looking as if she’d read your mind. 
The apartment complex was also empty and eerily quiet as you two ascended the steps. Dina had insisted that you took the stairs, pointing out that the elevator was far too risky. 
“It might get stuck,” she’d whispered as she’d pulled you away from pressing the button. “Also—unnecessary noise.” 
You nodded wordlessly, following her up the steps until you reached the top floor.
Still no one to be seen.
The spare key was still hidden under the flower pot, and the penthouse door swung open easily. You and Dina locked it behind you before dragging a small bookcase in front of it, piling on books until no one could physically break through. 
“Sweep the apartment,” Dina said lowly, reaching over to grab the fireplace poker that was in the entryway. “Behind me until you get a weapon.” 
For a few tense moments, you cowered behind Dina as she navigated you both into the dark, empty kitchen. Every breath that left your lips was shaky and uneven. Your fingers trembled around the handle of the butcher’s knife that you’d retrieved from the block. 
Nothing was on the first floor. 
Nothing on the second floor, either. There was no sign of your parents anywhere. By all accounts, it seemed that they’d just up and left for coffee. Which is probably what they’d done, given that your father had just retired and had nothing better to do. 
“Fucking thank god,” you’d cried out once you’d swept the last room, collapsing onto the sitting room sofa. “Jesus Christ, Dina. What the fuck. I can’t believe I just—”
The words petered out as the adrenaline rush that had been keeping you at least someone composed dissipated, leaving you a shaking and inconsolable mess. 
“We’re so lucky that we got out in time,” said Dina, her eyes blurry and unfocused.
You took a break from your crying to look at her. “What?”
“The doors close automatically,” she said flatly. “No motion sensor. If that girl had shown up any later—if we hadn’t noticed her in time—”
“We would’ve been stuck on the train with her,” you said, cold realization trickling into you. “Oh my god. That probably happened to the people on the train who weren’t quick enough.”
“Or didn’t know any better,” Dina added. “Didn’t you say that no one here really understands what the infection is? That it makes people hosts?” 
Your heart dropped. “We’re so fucked. We need to get out.” 
“Have a plane anywhere?”
“Oh, god, Simon,” you wailed. “He was probably—he must’ve known—his parents must have—”
“Let’s not dwell,” said Dina firmly, brushing her hands off on her pants. “Okay. Let’s take inventory of the situation. That girl likely wasn’t patient zero. Wherever she came from was around…8th street?” 
You nodded.
“Right. 8th street, which is where the majority of non-student residential living spaces are. Chances are that if it wasn’t already, it’s all over that area. We came south, which is away from the most densely populated area and probably why we haven’t seen anyone else. We’re up high with what seems to be currently running water, no current activity in the building, and plenty of both perishable and nonperishable food. 
“But this isn’t permanent. The power grid is going to fail soon, and plumbing is likely going to go next. And if we somehow make it long enough, any infected in the building are going to turn into clickers, and they’ll stop at nothing to get in. Our window is limited. If we wait to get out, they’re going to get stronger and grow in numbers. We need to play this right.”
“So what you’re saying is that if there’s any possible chance of escape,” you said, feeling the blood drain from your face, “That we need to take it.”
Dina nodded, her face hard. 
“How long do you think we have until we have to make that choice?” 
She winced. “Probably 2 hours ago. There’s likely enough infected scattered around the city after the metro incident that it’s all over now.”
Your stomach dropped. 
“But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try,” said Dina. “It’s only going to get worse the longer we wait. So if that big fancy scientist brain of yours has any genius plans of how to get us out, please hurry it up and say so.” 
“Well,” you said, your mouth dry as you brainstormed aloud, “We are at the southern tip of the city. We’re probably not all that far from the border. The problem would be getting across—and, of course, getting there in the first place. It’s designed to be deceptive so that raiders can’t find it.” 
“We’re not going to cross the border,” said Dina. “We’re never getting across on foot unless it’s been destroyed. Simon told me about how it works. There’s quite literally zero chance unless we start tunneling underground.” 
“So no crossing on foot,” you said weakly. “Noted. Well. Uh. Can you fly a plane?”
“Depends. Do you have one?” 
You buried your face in your hands. 
“Come on, Y/N. Think. There has to be another option.” 
Another option. Another option. Think, think, think…
Scientist brain. Science. 
Like your degree. Like the lab you’d been working in last year. Like the ill-fated experiment that you’d scrapped after the university cut funding for it after your accident.
Like the time that you’d actually succeeded in inventing teleportation, even if it was accidental.
Like the contraption that was likely gathering dust in an unlocked lab room just a few blocks away. 
“Dina,” you said, “I’ve got it. But I need you to get me to Gunther’s lab.” 
The only good thing about today was the fact that Gunther’s lab, which was normally an inconvenient train ride away from your apartment, was in fact within perfectly reasonable walking distance from your parents’. 
There were many bad things, though. Namely the infected now roaming the streets. And the plumes of smoke rising in the distance, suggesting that the Terranovan authorities were attempting to quell the issue the old-fashioned way. 
With two knives and a pistol in your hand (you’d never been more happy to see something actually useful in your father’s antique collection), you were at least feeling more prepared to slowly creep back down the staircase of the building and out onto the streets. 
For the first two blocks, everything remained uneventful. You and Dina stuck close to the shadows, being careful not to speak, make any noise, or bump into anything noisy. 
Then a girl that looked somewhat familiar to you came stumbling around the corner, cloudy orange saliva dripping from her ashen lips. She locked onto you and began to excitedly chitter, her jerky movements becoming more pointed as she started approaching. 
“Knife,” Dina whispered, flicking your arm once she saw you raise your pistol. “Too loud.” 
It was your first kill without the help of a bullet. As the blade slid across the throat of the girl, you realized where you recognized her from—she’d been one of the students you’d tutored back in high school. You’d always liked her. Her name had been Liesel, and she was one of your best pupils. She’d been so bright. You thought she’d end up skipping senior year and just coming with you to college. 
Not anymore. You tried not to think too hard about the look you’d seen in her eyes right as you severed her carotid artery—something human, something cognisant. You couldn’t cope with what that implied. 
Did Ellie look like that? No, surely not. It’d been over a year. She was likely a clicker by now, her freckled face entirely swallowed by the spore shards. But was she still in there, like Liesel had been?
The next ones were easier—random men whose eyes remained flat and flinty even as you sent them to their ends. By the time you and Dina had broken into Gunther’s lab, you were splattered in blood and assorted mystery fluids. 
The sterile building was empty and deathly silent. Each step on the tiled floor echoed, the fluorescent lighting painfully bright. 
“Are there any workers in here usually?” Dina asked, her voice low. 
“Rarely,” you whispered back. “It’s normally totally empty beside me or Gunther.”
“I hope you’re right.” 
A long screeching that sounded like it came from a few doors down made you freeze.
“Let’s move,” Dina said under her breath. “I don’t want to find out who that is.” 
Gunther’s lab was nearly just as you remembered it. The only difference was the missing files on his desk, which suggested that he’d taken his work home with him. 
As you’d hoped, the prototype you’d developed in your third year was under a white sheet, almost entirely untouched. 
“This is what sent you to Jackson?” Dina whispered in wonder, her fingers hovering over the wires but not daring to touch.
In actuality, it was a very small contraption, just transistors and gates and wires that crossed over each other like veins. It had been intended for use on laboratory rats. It’d never been sized to people. But if this was your only shot…
“I can’t remember exactly what Gunther and I did to—”
Scratchhhhhh.
Your blood ran cold. Something was outside the door. 
“I’ll cover it,” said Dina, her voice firm. Don’t worry.”
And you wouldn’t—not when there was one zombie against you and Dina, armed to the teeth.
“Uh, anyway—” You blinked as you stared down at the mess of wires. “Technically what happened was it short-circuit—”
Scratch scratch scratch
You gulped. “Um, like I was saying, it short—”
Scratchscratchscratchscratch
To punctuate the point, the door creaked and shifted. 
Dina pressed her finger to her lips as she slowly crept over to the door, standing on her toes to look through the thin strip of plexiglass that ran across the top of the door. 
For a moment, you thought that she’d frozen. Then she quietly stepped over to the desk, snatched the pen Gunther had lying around, and scribbled something onto it. She handed it to you, her finger still posed over her lips. 
7 of them. All big. I think they followed us from the street.
Just as you finished reading it, the doorknob began to turn, back and forth and back and forth against the lock. 
Dina pulled the note from your fingers to scribble something else out. 
Don't say anything. Noise will send them into a feeding frenzy. Door won't hold long. Do whatever you need to fix it and get us out.
You nodded, your heart crawling in your throat. If you couldn’t figure out how to fix this in time…Gunther’s lab was on the 6th floor. 
There were only 3 bullets in the pistol—you’d checked. And a kitchen knife was fine when you were out on the street facing one infected at a time, but 7 in an enclosed space was different.
You probably weren’t going to get out of here alive. 
Not unless you pulled it together right now. 
You pinched the bridge of your nose as you tried to run through all possible ways to recreate the conditions that had sent you to Jackson. You needed that special iridescent wire, which you could see shoved into the corner. You needed a power source. You needed a working circuit board. 
You had all of it. You could do this. 
SIlently, you retrieved the spool of wire and began reattaching it to the board in the pattern you vaguely recalled from your work. 
The lights flickered above, and it was all you could do to keep yourself from swearing out loud. 
The power needed to hold. It needed to hold for just one more minute, just for a moment while you finished configuring the—
Your hand knocked the spool to the floor.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The thudding started slower but crescendoed into the sound of groaning wood as the infected outside began to pound at the door. 
Dina waved a slip of paper in front of you with wide eyes that said Hurry the FUCK up!. 
You sent her a desperate look back. Your hands were shaking so hard that it was a miracle you were even able to feed the end of the wire through the pliers to snap off the end. You dug your nails into the protective sleeve at the end to expose the tip of the wire.
The door held just until you plugged the wire into the input. 
As it hummed to life, sputtering and sparking and shimmering in the air, the lights flickered once, then plunged you into darkness as the sound of wood splintering came from the door. 
Someone—it was probably you—screamed as a crowd came barrelling through the door, all hunched shoulders and gaping maws. 
Then you grabbed the hand of Dina and felt yourself tumble into nothingness. 
~
The sky was clear and bluebell blue above you when you came to, your back pressed uncomfortably against the sun-warmed earth. Every part of you ached like you’d just been run over, just like it had that day one year ago that started it all.
You didn’t need to look around to confirm—you were certain of where you were. You just knew it. 
A groaning sound made you shoot up, clutching at the pistol in your hand. 
Dina was sprawled on the ground next to you, rubbing her forehead with her hands. 
“We did it,” you said, astonished. “We actually did it. We got out.” 
“And you launched us out to Jackson.” Dina was sitting up now, looking around with wide eyes. “Jesus Christ. Are those things coming with us?”
“I don’t think so,” you said blandly. Your hands were still shaking, just as they had in the lab moments before. 
The backpack you’d packed with supplies lay strewn on the ground, covered in the dust of the clearing. 
“Are we—”
“I think so,” you said. “Funny how it sent us to the same place it sent me. I guess we’ll never figure out how, though.”
“Yeah.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you acclimated to the bright Wyoming sun, the warmth of the air against your skin.
Your heart lurched as the implications sunk in. Now that you couldn’t pretend like Jackson had been some sort of distant memory, you were going to mourn Ellie all over again whether you liked it or not. 
“It’s going to be weird without her.” Dina was apparently on the same page. 
You choked back the sob that came up, rubbing your eyes angrily. You would not cry right now, not when you had more important things to attend to. 
“She really did love you, you know,” Dina continued, also apparently oblivious to the fact that you were just barely holding it together. “Even if she never said it. I’ve never seen her like that around anyone. I hope you haven’t been beating yourself up over what happened.”
You sent her a tight smile. It was odd, talking about Ellie like this with her. You’d never had before. It was one of those topics that you both knew to just avoid. “I just hope Joel is alright. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be—losing two daughters just like tha—”
A twig snapping in the woods sent you into silence, your hand drifting back down to your pistol as you spun around.
For a moment, all you could hear was the breath that hitched in both your and Dina’s throat. Then a girl with short brown hair burst through the tree line, her gun set on you. 
“Ellie?” you gasped. 
She fell still, mouth agape and eyebrows nearly touching her hairline.
“Ellie, what the fuck?” said Dina, recovering much quicker than you. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I—” Ellie dropped her pistol so it pointed to the ground, staring at Dina incredulously. “What are you doing here?” Then she rounded on you. “What did you do? You promised to stay in Terranova.” 
You couldn’t answer. You were just so starstruck that all you could was stare, taking in everything about her. She was certainly Ellie—with her stupid little flashlight on her backpack strap and her fern tattoo and the perpetual grumpiness etched on her face. It was strange to think that you could have mistaken anyone else for her.
“Well?” she pressed, stepping closer, her mouth in a hard line. 
“Terranova fell. It’s gone. I did what I had to do to get us out.” The words came out quietly. Then, without thinking: “You’re alive.” 
“Long story,” said Ellie. “I think the scanner was defective.” 
“That sounds like a pretty short story.”
She stared at you with an expression of such odd devastation that you felt your heart drop.
Dina jumped to her feet and launched herself at Ellie, throwing her arms around her neck and laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe it. I just—I just—you’re alive. I’m so glad you’re alive.” 
Ellie, for her part, stood mostly still, awkwardly patting Dina on the back until she was released. “I’m glad you are, too.”
You tried not to feel jealous, but it was hard not to. Dina could jump into Ellie’s arms and tell her nice things like that without having to think twice because they’d always been friends. You did, because you weren’t sure if Ellie would want that anymore. 
You didn’t try to touch her as she walked you and Dina back. She followed suit, not even trying to speak to you. 
By the time you were walking through the walls of Jackson and waving to the gaping passerbys who were shocked at your return, you felt like you were going to be sick. 
Ellie was alive. She’d never been dead, and you’d left her out here while you and Dina got to eat fancy Brazilian chocolates and Floridian oranges and artisanal bread. You’d been actively trying to forget her instead of trying to find her.
And now she was here, next to you. And she didn’t seem even remotely interested in you. But could you blame her? It had been a year. You’d left her to come back to Jackson all by herself. She didn’t have any reason to wait around for you. She’d probably found someone else. Or gotten back together with Cat.
And who were you to think that she’d even be interested in you if there wasn’t the guaranteed casualness from a definite end date? 
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Joel appeared on the front porch as you and Dina approached with Ellie flanking you, his eyes wide. 
“Joel!” you cried out, your angst briefly forgotten. 
His eyes darted between the three of you, his face awash with shock. “Did ya just get sick of living there or something?”
You looked down and surveyed your outfit. You were clearly wearing something that was intended to be formal—a flowing graduation dress—but you were splattered with blood and viscous mystery substances and covered in a healthy layer of dirt. You’d clearly gone through some shit. 
You were struggling to come up with a response other than “hey” when you were reminded of something you’d shoved into your bag while you’d been preparing to leave your parents’ penthouse. 
Feeling smug that you’d managed to remember, you reached into your pack and fished around until you found what you were looking for.
“We just figured you’d be almost out of this by now,” you said dryly. The value-sized bag of coffee beans dangled from your fingers, its maroon packaging catching in the sun. 
His face split into a wide grin as he shook his head in disbelief. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I guess I’ve got to tell Tommy that we don’t have to ration anymore. C’mon, let’s get you settled.”
~
Joel insisted that you move back into your old room instead of the vacant cottage down the street, which was equal parts touching and equal parts terrifying. Ellie lingered by the doorway as you unpacked, disappearing down the hall when you finally lifted your head from your few belongings to say something to her. 
You let out a long, labored exhale, dropping onto your bed and curling your knees up to your chest. You’d since changed and showered the dirt and blood off, shed your tattered graduation dress and left it gathered in the corner like a snake’s molt. The setting sun filtered through the curtains, turning the walls golden. 
You didn’t know what to do. That you could even come back to Jackson had been a thought you hadn’t dared to consider until this morning, when there were no other options. That Ellie was still alive—well, you hadn’t had any time to strategize or plan for that one. You were still reeling from seeing her for the first time in a year, all summer freckles and flyaway hairs escaping from a loose hairband.
She’d looked even better than you’d remembered. There were certain parts of her that you realized you’d forgotten—like the scar on her eyebrow, the way her voice sounded. It made you feel nauseous, knowing that despite your best efforts, you hadn’t been able to keep the real Ellie alive in your head. 
You’d already eaten something with Tommy and Maria, who had been insistent on hearing from you and Dina about the events in Terranova. Joel had left you to your own devices with instructions to see him tomorrow to figure out work after you’d had a decent rest, so there was really no reason to go roaming around hoping to run into Ellie. 
But you really wanted to. You checked the clock again, seeing that it was already past 9. Dusk had already fallen upon Jackson, the setting sun now just a suggestion of a golden line on the horizon.
You had a feeling you knew where she was. 
The meadow was just as lush and green as you remembered as your feet carried you across the grass. It seemed that really nothing had changed—except for the horses in the distance, where you could see a small foal beside a chestnut mare that you were pretty sure was Shimmer. 
“Hi,” you said, settling down next to Ellie’s spot under the tree. 
If she was surprised to see you, she didn’t show it. She just sighed and fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt. 
“Hi.” 
“I’m sorry for bothering you,” you said, keeping your eyes locked on the darkening sky. “I just wanted to come find you to tell you that I understand if you don’t—want me like that anymore. I’ll leave you alone if you want me to.” 
Even when she took her time responding, you didn’t dare look her way. 
“Is that what you want?” You couldn’t quite decipher the tone she’d used. 
“Obviously not,” you said mildly. “I would never want that.” 
“I wouldn’t either.” 
Your breath caught in your throat, your gaze dropping to meet hers. You were just about to speak when—
“The scanner wasn’t defective,” said Ellie. Her voice was soft, her own eyes falling to look at her tattooed arm. 
“Of course it was,” you said, feeling very confused as to why she was suddenly detouring into something so unrelated. “If it wasn’t, you’d be dead already.” 
“I’ve been bitten twice.”
You blinked, sure you’d heard her incorrectly. “Sorry?” 
“I’ve been bitten twice,” said Ellie again, this time with more conviction. “That’s why the scanner came back red. There was nothing wrong with it.” 
“Then how…” Your words trailed off. 
She didn’t let you ponder long. “I’m immune.” 
Immune. 
You closed your mouth—it’d been hanging open unceremoniously for a moment—and tried to fit this very startling fact in with everything else you knew about her. What did being immune mean? And why was she telling you now?
“You knew from the start that you couldn’t come with me to Terranova,” you realized aloud. 
Ellie was gnawing at her bottom look as she looked back at you. You noted that she didn’t offer up any corrections. 
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You couldn’t hide the hurt in your voice. “Why did you lie to me like that?” 
“I found out that I was immune when I was back in Boston,” Ellie said, the words spilling out of her. “I was in this abandoned mall with my best friend—Riley. She told me she was leaving to be a Firefly, and I begged her to stay and kissed her and for a moment I was so sure that something was going to change between us—something for the better. But then…” She waved her tattooed arm in front of her. “We both got bit. I survived. She, obviously, did not.”
Something deep inside you twisted as you tried to imagine how traumatizing that must’ve been for someone that couldn’t have been older than 14. 
“And so I thought that maybe, you were my chance to right what I’ve done wrong,” continued Ellie. Even though she wasn’t looking at you anymore, you could see the reflective sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’ve gotten to live while so many other people have died. I just can’t handle another. It’s not fair of me to keep someone here when there’s somewhere safer for them. It’s selfish, and I’ve been that enough.”
It was as if you’d found the last puzzle piece for the jigsaw of Ellie Williams. All this time, you’d been struggling in your attempts to understand why she was pushing you away—and why she changed her mind so suddenly. 
Now you got it. Ellie had come into this knowing that she’d likely never see you again. She’d been betting on it, even. It was all some convoluted way for her to set things right in her head, for her to forgive herself for Riley and whoever else she’d lost. 
“You could have told me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I would have understood.” 
Ellie sent you a sad smile, shaking her head. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone that I’m immune. It’s one of those things that only Joel and Maria and Tommy know about. No one else. They’d fucking kill me if they found out you knew.” 
“I’m really sorry.” The fabric of her t-shirt was soft under your fingers as you rested a hand on her shoulder. 
“I’m really sorry for how much of an asshole I was to you,” said Ellie. You didn’t miss the way her eyes had widened when you’d reached out to touch her. “I didn’t want to be that way. I always wanted more. I just couldn’t handle having that, knowing that you were going to leave anyway. I thought it’d be easier for the both of us if you thought I was awful.”
“Didn’t work very well.”
“Clearly.”
“I forgive you,” you said, moving your hand so you could thread your fingers into the loose strands that she hadn’t pulled into that baby bun she always wore. 
Instead of kissing you like you thought she might, she threw her arms around you and crushed herself against you, burying her face into your neck.
You held her there, feeling the way her frame trembled under the weight of a sob and tracing patterns across her back. 
“I missed you,” you whispered, your chin rested atop her shoulder. “I thought about you every day.”
Ellie clung to you harder as you shifted.
“I’m really sorry,” she said again, muffled against your neck. “I’m sorry for everything.” 
“I’m not.” You finally pulled away so that she had to look you in the eyes. Under the soft bath of moonlight, her green eyes glowed. “Terranova shouldn’t have existed in the first place. I’m glad that I got out. And I’m even more glad that it brought me back to you.” 
Her hand found yours, your fingers tangling.
“I used to spend all my free time wondering what you were doing up North,” said Ellie. You felt her thumb brush across the top of your hand. “I thought that maybe if I imagined you happy, it’d be easier.”
“What did you think I was doing?” 
The corner of her mouth quirked up. “Lots of studying, I assumed. And going to fancy events for rich people, eating all that expensive shit that the rest of the world can’t have.” 
“Not far off,” you admitted. “But you missed how much time I’d spend wondering about you. I dreamt about you all the time. Sometimes I’d see people who looked similar to you and it’d ruin my whole day. I couldn’t believe that you were gone. I think that deep down I knew that you weren’t.” 
She squeezed your hand. When you looked down at where you were touching, you noted how there wasn’t such a stark difference between you and her anymore. The doll fresh-out-of-the-box skin had disappeared in favor of scars and marks collected from your time in the real world. 
“I really thought you’d be safe there,” said Ellie. 
“You don’t need to worry about me like that anymore,” you told her, cupping her face with your free hand. Her eyelids fluttered half-closed as she leaned into the contact. “You’ve done enough. You can care about me without taking responsibility for everything bad that ever happens to me. You deserve to have something good without suffering because of it. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” 
“Not anymore,” she agreed. 
When you kissed her, it felt like coming home. There was something so achingly familiar in the slope of her neck, the slight chapped-ness of her lips, the almost silent click of her jaw as her mouth parted with a gasp as your hands twisted in her hair. 
You weren’t quite sure how you managed a year without it. 
The skin of her neck was just as soft as you remembered against your lips, her response just as reactive. 
“What’s this?” you asked, pulling away to point at what looked like a small tattoo on the side of her neck. You hadn’t noticed it before—her hair had been covering it. 
“Oh.” Ellie looked sheepish. “My free birthday tattoo from Cat. It’s the moon.” 
“I see that,” you murmured, brushing her hair back more intentionally to get a better look at it. “Why that phase?” 
“It’s the phase it would’ve been on the day we met,” said Ellie. She was bright red now. “Don’t fucking laugh. I know that it’s stupid. Shut up. Stop!” 
You desperately tried to stop your giggles, schooling your face into something straight and no-nonsense. 
“I spent so long wondering if you even liked me,” you told her. “And now you’ve gone and gotten a tattoo dedicated to me. I feel so validated.” 
Ellie rolled her eyes. 
“I have you beat, though,” you said, quieter now. 
She looked back at you, her brows furrowed. “Huh?” 
“When it comes to grand, stupid gestures,” you explained, your finger pointing up to the sky in the general area that you’d collected your data from. “There’s a planet named Ellie up there now.” 
Her jaw dropped for just a moment. “You’re kidding.” 
“No.” Now you were feeling slightly self-conscious. 
“You would do something like that,” Ellie muttered, more to herself than anything. “A whole fucking planet.” 
You let her drape an arm around you, pulling you into her until your head fit into the space between her shoulder and her chin. 
“So,” Ellie said, and you could feel the words vibrate in her diaphragm, “What now?” 
“What do you mean, what now?” 
“I mean, what are you gonna do now that you’re stuck here with me for the foreseeable future?” 
“Enjoy being stuck with you,” you said. “Maybe get a matching tattoo. Give you the piece of the meteorite I nabbed from the display case in my lab. But mostly spend my time bothering you.”
When she didn’t answer, you shifted so you could look up at her. She was already looking back, her eyes soft and the corners of her lips pulling into two dimples. 
“Is that alright with you?’ you ventured.
Her arm tightened around you, fingers gently pressing into the flesh of your forearm like she still couldn’t quite believe you were there. 
“You can be so fucking stupid sometimes,” she said. “I get a tattoo for you and you’re still asking if I want you around.” 
“It’s been known for you to make rash decisions,” you offered dryly. “I didn’t want to jump to any assumptions.”
 She rolled her eyes, still smiling down at you, eyes awash with the reflections of the stars above. 
Slowly, you reached up and touched her face again, letting your fingers relearn her features, tracing the paths created by freckles—just like you had in her bed all those months ago. 
But unlike last time, she didn’t stop you. She didn’t do anything except let you. There was something in her demeanor, something that was fragile and vulnerable and everything that you wanted her to be with you.
“Is this going to be enough for you?” she asked suddenly, her voice raw. 
“What do you mean?” Your fingers paused and rested at her cheekbones.
“It’s just—” She blinked hard and cast her gaze up to the sky. “You grew up so differently than me. I’m not going to be able to give you that fancy Terranova life. Are you sure this is going to make you happy?” 
“Yes.” 
She looked at you, an eyebrow raised skeptically. Your hands moved to cup her face, fingers threading back into her hair. 
“Don’t make that face,” you chided.
“I just find it really hard to believe.” 
You took in a breath. Perhaps more elaboration was in order.
“I’ll put it like this,” you said. “I spent most of my life thinking I needed to be something extraordinary to be happy. I put so much time into trying to be special and nothing I did ever felt like it was enough. But then I met you, and one day I realized while I was here that I didn’t need that anymore. Just being around you makes me more content than I’ve ever been. I don’t want to be like what I was before. I would consider it my greatest success if I got to lead an ordinary life with you.”
You took her brief silence as an opportunity to press your lips to the corner of her mouth.
“Believe me now?” you asked. 
Ellie nodded, leaning in to drop an affectionate kiss at the top of your nose. 
And as you sat there, nestled into the warmth of her side and craning your head up to the sky, you’d never been more sure of yourself. 
This would be more than enough. 
final a/n: ok so some apologies are in order for this one! first of all, sorry for aborting jj lmao. i just couldn't envision doing light speed travel with a baby strapped to dina. big apologies for not including a final smut scene. i actually had one semi-drafted out because i wanted to write one where ellie bottomed bc i feel like it would really hammer in that she was finally choosing to be vulnerable, but the shift in the scene tone just didn't sit right with me. sometimes i write bonus scenes for big fics like this, so if there's enough interest i might write a short one shot of the scene i scrapped/other scenes that i also scrapped. also, speaking of things i scrapped: i had an alternate ending in mind where joel actually did die and ellie went on her seattle rampage + y/n realizes she's alive and tries to sneak out with dina to find her. i might end up writing that one too, depending on interest! anyway, thank you all for coming along on this journey with me so far! it's not totally over yet...the epilogue is still in the works! i appreciate hearing what you guys think of this and hope you all enjoyed !!!
also idk if this is important to bring up but i will say that i didn't realize the kind of message i'd be sending when i wrote a protagonist who's from a place like terranova—exoplanet isn't meant to be some sort of piece that makes you empathize with ignorant beneficiaries of slave labor...it's just the way it shook out and for that i'm sorry 😭
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joshsbimbo · 2 months
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part one ♡ part two
dedicated to @luverstream
pairings: stalker! mike schmidt x victim! reader
warnings: mike’s a weirdo and a creep wth is he doing here? he doesn’t belong here, mentions of pregnancy, it gets kinda cringey at times bc i’m silly, he jacks off, idk LOL
a/n: sup ladies i hope u likey
♡ when mike came home, all he could think about was you. of course, you're all he thinks about, but he finally felt your lips on his cheek. your lips.
♡ even after jacking off in the mall bathroom, his cock stayed hard. his face flushed from not being able to stop thinking about your praise and lips. he left work early, complaining about how "sick" he felt to his boss. poor mikey, such a lovesick boy. he pathetically thrusted into the mattress, still in his uniform. excess amounts of precum leaked out of his pretty tip and went through his boxers, leaving a wet spot in his khakis.
♡ "please... hmm... such pretty lips," he whimpered into his pillow as he enjoyed the friction, flipping over to desperately trying to pull up a picture of you on your laptop. palming himself with one hand while the other tried to enter your password, tears pricking from the corner of his eyes from how painful his cock felt.
♡ as soon as he unlocked your laptop, the picture he was looking at earlier was still up. your mouth open, tongue poking out, cum in and around your mouth, your eyes half-opened, and tears trickling down your pretty cheeks. his heart skipped a beat as he came, panting heavily as he gripped his pillows. "fuck, need your lips again," he thought before getting up to clean himself.
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♡ his morning was way better than usual. he happily ate his breakfast and scrolled through your laptop, instagram, tumblr... learning more about your sick, pretty head.
♡ ding!
♡ “‘her: you better bring something for him hehehe.’” his heart fluttered. could this be about him? he clicked on the notification.
you: heyyy bae, i just got back from the mall, and guess what?
her: WHATTT? :3
you: ok, ok, so i went to the mall and earrings were in my bag?!? WHICH I SWEAR I DIDNGT PUT IN THERE
her: ok...
you: STFU ANYWAYYYY!!! the alarm went off and this ASSHOLE accused me of stealing and i think he was gonna call the cops but then this CUTESTSTTS guy ever in the world saved me from him :000
i think i'm crushing.
her: did you get his number omg INDJNDJNAKJD
you: hehrheh .,DIJNDIOIK he asked for mine!!!!
her: :0000 he likes youuuuuu
you: i know and i kissed him on the cheek and he was blushing????????? today imma go to the mall again and LOOK 4 HIM he's so cute 😭
her: u better bring something for him hehehe
you: ur so right wtf do i bring
her: :00000 you should bring him food!!!
you: YESYYEYS OK ok imma make something i love u
her: i love you too, bestie <3
♡ mike got up from his seat, mouth agape... you think he's cute? he ran to the bathroom and washed his face, shaved, trying to make himself look presentable. running his fingers through his curls, putting on lip balm, brushing his teeth for an extra long time, even flossing!! his dream girl actually likes him..
♡ he took out his uniform and ironed out the wrinkles, making sure everything was amazing. he wanted to look perfect for you. he put on cologne before leaving for work.
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♡ you excitedly held a bento box. inside was homemade fried rice, salad, and a cupcake. peeking around the mall, you find mike sitting at the food court. he was on his phone, checking your location and wondering why he hadn't seen you yet. he put his phone away in frustration before looking up and meeting your eyes, a blush crept on your cheek. he must think you're a creep! staring at him from afar…
♡ "hey, mikey! i was hoping to bump into you..." you shyly make your way to his table, sitting in front of him. how the fuck is he making you nervous? you've met actual scary men, and this is who's making you avoid eye contact? blushing?!?! who does this man think he is?
♡ "i didn't expect to see you so soon, y/n," mike smiled, and god was he beautiful. you were so mesmerized by how pretty he looked that you didn't notice him saying your name despite not giving it to him.
♡ "hmmm, i just wanted to say thank you for yesterday." you pushed the bento box closer to him. "i made you lunch... i'm sorry if you don't like it, i just didn't know what you liked, and i-"
♡ "thank you. genuinely," he cuts you off, practically killing you with his perfect smile. "it's my fault, i should've texted you, don't worry." his words felt so comforting to you. he knew how all the men treated you before, but he’s different. he knows everything you like, how you want to be treated, your love language, how fragile you are..
♡ he started unwrapping the bow, his heart thumping so loud, trying so hard not to shake, feeling his face warm up as he tried not to seem like a loser. the poor boy was so busy after you left, collapsing into bed as soon as he came home beforejackingofftoyou. by the time it was morning, he had no idea what to text you. ‘sorry it was a busy day’??? ‘i love you and i wish we could be together 24/7’ too creepy!
♡ "n-no!" you cough, feeling embarrassed for stuttering, "don't be sorry, you literally saved me from going to jail."
♡ “jail? probably a warning at most!” he chuckled softly. the conversation went back and forth for a while… they tried so desperately to put the blame on themselves.
♡ "ok! shut up and eat your food, mr. security man!" you teased him while smiling, and he felt like he died. he yearned for this for months, and he finally felt it. the butterflies in his stomach turning into hawks, the chance of becoming your lover becoming even more realistic.
♡ "ok, ok, ok!" he opened the box and gasped, "is this really for me?" he looked into your eyes with an appreciative smile.
♡ "yes, silly!" you giggled as you picked up his spoon, scooping some rice into his mouth excitedly. it didn’t even fully go down his throat before you asked, "do you like it?!"
♡ smiling as he swallowed, loving how eager you were to please him.. he felt so grateful for this moment. “of course i do. thank you again, seriously.” as his lunch continued, he kept offering you bites. you kept refusing but when he got to the cupcake, he split it and forced it into your hand. as you two ate, you guys talked and got to know more about each other. well, you got to know more about mike. mike already knew almost everything about you, silly!
♡ "hold on, stay still..." he wiped the side of your mouth with his thumb, taking a crumb off your face.
♡ you weren't used to this type of intimacy. usually, guys would've already tried to sneak their hand up your skirt, but he actually cared about you. he listened, showed compassion when you told him stories about your life, waited for your approval before touching you... "i could've gotten a napkin!" you squeaked as you covered your mouth in embarrassment.
♡ "so? it would've been easier for me to do it instead of you blindly cleaning your face, dummy.” his genuine smile. the crinkles beside his eyes. the shine in his white teeth. his rosy cheeks. his stubble. you felt like there was a frog in your throat, having no idea how to respond because you were in such a gaze.
♡ his smile disappeared and was replaced with a concerned look, “are you okay?”
♡ “yeah!” you eat the rest of the cupcake awkwardly, “you know, i have more at my place i made, like.. 12 of them..”
♡ “oh, really?” he smiles teasingly, knowing what’s coming next.
♡ “mhm, do you maybe.. wanna-”
♡ “yes. when?”
♡ “right now.”
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♡ as you two walked out of the mall, he quickly texted his boss telling him he was sick again. there must be a virus going around... a loveeeeee virus!
♡ he shut the door and barely had time to turn back to you before you pulled him into a kiss, he moaned as he tasted your cherry flavored lip gloss. his hands held onto your waist, his stubble giving the best burn against your cheek, his tongue slipping in and tasting more of you.
♡ you led him to your bedroom, holding yourself up on your bed with your elbows as he took off his shirt, his warmth surrounding you again as he laid on you before-
♡ “wait- stop- i’m sorry..” you covered yourself with your blanket, and he moved to the edge of your bed. reminding yourself that you were pregnant… and that you actually liked mike. he wasn’t like anyone you’ve ever met.
♡ “are you okay? i’m sorry if i hurt you-”
♡ “no no, it’s not your fault, i just..” you buried your face into your hands, “i really like you. usually.. guys would get annoyed at me but you asked if i was okay! and you were so sweet to me at the mall..”
♡ “i mean this in the nicest way possible, you have the lowest standards.”
♡ “shut up!” you threw your teddy bear at him. it was so hard for you two to get comfortable with other people, but it felt so natural right now. like this wasn’t the second time you ever talked to him. he knew exactly what to say and do to make your palms sweat.
♡ “i really like you as well,” he admitted, his cheeks becoming flushed. he LOVED you, but he didn’t want to scare you off...
♡ you leaned in and kissed where the teddy bear hit, his forehead. he could smell your perfume, which made his pretty brain fuzzy. he pulled you into a hug and inhaled the scent of your shampoo, loving everything about you. his arms felt like home. his musk and cologne felt like home. he felt like home. you felt crazy even for thinking he’s so pretty from only knowing him for a day, but it’s true. you were already addicted, but he’s been addicted to you for six months already..
♡ “we can count this as our first date..” you mumbled into his arms, smiling contently as you looked up at him.
♡ “no. i’m taking you on a proper date!” he looked into your eyes. “ will.. you go on a date with me?”
♡ “yes, dummy!”
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♡ when he left later in the day, you texted your best friend..
you: i think he’s the one 💗
her: huh?? wtf did i miss
♡ you tell her everything that happened.
her: that’s like the bare minimum LOL i think he’s a maybe.
you: ugh u don’t like anyone thokjdniufniue
her: and rightfully so!! all the men u date r losers…..
you: he’s a cute loser….
her: like the others, right?? 🙄
you: WHATEVER im going on that date with him <333
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♡ you swiped off insta and texted mike all night, planning your date for tomorrow!!
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a/n: haiii!! this is longer cuz i felt bad for part 2 being lame! gimme date ideas!
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kafus · 23 days
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as the resident ceo of likodot, what are your thoughts on the scene in episode 9 where dot ends up being the one who gives liko the courage she needs to tell her father that she wants to continue traveling with the RVT?
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AH YES. THIS SCENE. I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS. THANK U FOR ASKING. apologies if this post is messy i have brainfog but i wanted to answer it anywayyyy
dot and liko's early connection is pretty interesting to me because at the time of this episode, the two barely know each other. dot first appears in episode 7 and this happens a couple episodes later in episode 9... not a lot of time has passed.
at this point in episode 9, liko knows that dot:
is murdock's niece and around the same age as her
is a tech wiz who wrote the app the RVT use to maintain the brave asagi and talk to each other
is good at gathering info online too
is a social recluse
does not eat very well/doesn't eat with other people
is interested in legendary pokemon, mysteries, that sort of stuff
and of course, she has heard the gurumin theme song coming from dot's room, and seen her quaxly, which leads to the iconic misunderstanding that dot is a huge fan of gurumin and not... literally gurumin lol
on the other hand, liko has no idea what dot looks like, does not know anything about her history, and has not had a proper conversation with her - their only communications have been through her bedroom door, first through quaxly bringing her and roy notes (which are drawings to interpret and not even actual written words), then when dot yells angrily at her to shut up/go away because she's interrupting dot setting up for her livestream, and then when dot finally budges just enough to mention her interest in legendaries & mysterious things.
by all regards dot is probably more of a concept to liko at this point than a whole person; a disembodied sometimes-voice who belongs to someone that deserves to be reached out to, but who hasn't actually been reached yet. this is overtly clear with her misunderstanding about dot being a gurumin fan - liko is piecing together who she thinks dot is with very little context clues and actual interactions and she is literally drawing the wrong conclusions lol. at most right now liko is interested in dot because of the whole gurumin thing... and because she's just a compassionate person who can't imagine that the person behind that door is a bad one, or someone who should be ignored, so she's compelled to learn more and reach out and figure dot out.
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and that's the thing. liko is just naturally the sort of person to want to go out of her way to reach out to dot despite knowing pretty much nothing about her personally, and even having their first couple of interactions be rude ones. she follows through - she takes dot's lunch to her, makes sure to say "i'll talk to you later" and thank her for things, in a way that roy isn't (not to say that roy doesn't care, but liko is focused on her in particular). sure, the idea that they have a mutual interest in gurumin definitely helps, but she was interested before that and wasn't thrown off by her rude drawing of roy losing to fuecoco even before she started associating dot with gurumin. and this, especially coming from a peer and not a worried adult, is certainly foreign to dot and she kind of doesn't know how to deal with it, but it means a lot to her.
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^ i think this bit at the end of episode 8 after liko and roy walk away is a really good summary of how dot is about all of this. she's reclusive, doesn't like noise, likes being in her own space, and she's "supposed" to find people like roy and liko irritating... but she can't help but smile about them being around, and while thinking about them.
oh, and of course dot has been overwhelmed by liko's compliments towards her work as gurumin even though liko doesn't know that's who she's complimenting. she's a popular youtuber and i'm sure she gets compliments from people all the time, but this is definitely a foreign experience for her in person, coming from someone verbally like that, not to mention how genuine and passionate liko is about it. i mean it makes her blush like this okay come on:
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ALL OF THIS is to say that liko is a meaningful person to dot at this point, despite how little liko actually knows about her. liko has reached out to her in a way that no one has before, has directly complimented her work/passion, and has responded to her rudeness/antisocial behavior with even more curiosity instead of shying away.
so like of course when it's possible that liko is going to leave, she's upset about it and wants to do something about it. this is such a new situation and she's still so reclusive that she needs a little push from landau (who knows her well enough to tell she has emotions about this despite her not exactly wearing them on her sleeve), but the feelings she has about liko are enough to push her through, just enough to leave a wordless drawing by her door, which is massive for her at this point in time.
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liko's response to this is understandably not super expressive or emotional, and in fact right after seeing the drawing, she first has a far more emotive conversation with mollie and orio and then roy, before eventually taking the drawing with her to dot's door and thanking her. she still doesn't know dot that well and honestly even though she was thinking that dot was opening up a little bit, she probably didn't expect this gesture. she doesn't know how meaningful her reaching out to dot has actually been.
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regardless, she understands the meaning of the drawing and once again goes to talk to her, even without expecting a response back, and is able to go leave and tell her dad she wants to stay on the brave asagi, so it obviously contributed to her courage. it's proof that even this person who she barely knows cares about her and wants her to stay, and it also rewards her efforts of reaching out and proves to her that yes, dot is opening up and receiving liko's attempts at reaching out - her advances aren't unwanted. how's she supposed to leave now that she's sunk this time and effort into connecting with dot? dot is not the only reason she wants to stay of course, but it's a piece of the puzzle. she can't just leave now that they've made this connection successfully!!
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dot says this after liko's already left, but regardless they've made a connection in their own unique, nonverbal way, and of course everything between them continues to grow from here.
so anyway all of this is to say i think it's fascinating the way these two connect mostly without words and through action/gesture at the start of the series, and i think the lopsidedness of their connection with each other is actually pretty interesting and reveals how much liko's compassion and efforts affect dot early on. she really is the vessel through which dot comes out of her shell and that's evident from the beginning
ALSO as an aside, very cute that dot does these little doodles at all? they aren't bad!! liko also draws... even though dot doesn't seem to take it as seriously or have it as an actual hobby i think they should draw together i think this would be cute JIOSJDOF
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kokitschi · 9 months
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AITA for getting two of my classmates killed?
Okay, okay, I know the title sounds bad but hear me out first.
So we're in this (involuntary) death game, right, long story. Basically the goal is to get away with murder but if you get caught, you get horrifically executed. Fun stuff.
Anyway, so this whole situation kinda takes a toll on me, but I keep it lowkey. Well, actually, my strategy was to act like I'm really enjoying this whole game, get chummy with the game master and stuff like that. I was apparently very convincing, even though I kept dropping hints that I'm not having a good time. So everyone was convinced pretty early on that I'm some psycho who gets pleasure out of watching people suffer, which admittedly I can't fully blame them for. But they were literally convinced I was satan incarnated before I ever did some heinous stuff just because I wasn't very nice and friendly and didn't want to pretend like we can just friendship-is-magic our way out of this. They literally got upset at me for freely speaking about the death of our classmates and trying to warn this sweet naive fucking idiot about being too trusting and the consequences of cooperating under these circumstances. No, I was not nice about it. But like, get real. They just didn't want to face the reality of the situation and that's fucking dangerous.
Anywayyyy, time passes, people get killed, everyones on edge and depressed and shit. Despite what I just said, I didn't actually believe that we all shouldn't cooperate under any circumstances. I just thought we shouldn't do it so openly. So there were two people I mainly cooperated with, let's call them G and M.
G is the aforementioned sweet naive idiot, he also happens to be an absolute mountain of a man. I saw potential in him, I knew he wasn't actually that dumb, he was just, naive and trusting and he really really wanted to protect people. I thought that was a dangerous combination. So I took him under my wing and we did spend a lot of time together.
M is... well, she's a dumb fucking bitch. Obnoxious as hell. But she's also pretty brilliant in making stuff. Like, inventions I mean. VERY USEFUL. We didn't get along much, but I knew how to handle her and we ended up collaborating on several creations and gadgets.
It was really powerful stuff, y'know? I was sure we could use these to take down the game master. I said as much to her. But she... was unsure. Actually, I guess it would be more accurate to say that she was scared, if not terrified. She didn't believe that we could win this way because she thought our classmates would definitely betray us! Can't blame her for thinking that, I guess. It was still pretty discouraging. It would've been fine if the issue had ended here, probably.
But then... long story short, I found out that she was trying to kill me. :')
I would've laughed but it really wasn't that funny, was it. I thought we had at least a truce, you backstabbing fucking bitch. Haha.
I couldn't let this happen. Of course I didn't want to die, but I did also think that if I die here, everyone else will also die. Even if she didn't get away with it, which is debatable because there would've only been about 1.5 competent people left alive to figure it out, I had plans to properly end this game. I couldn't die here.
I had to eliminate her first. She was simply too big of a threat. Not only was she actively planning to murder me, after we've literally created another possibility, she was also emotionally very unstable. It was too risky to solve this another way. Even if we had managed to pacify her now, she was still the biggest risk factor.
I had probably squeezed out all the valuable uses out of her anyway at that point, hah.
So yeah, I decided to strike her down before she could strike me down. But I didn't want to risk either getting everyone killed (because obviously I could've planned a murder I could get away with, duh) or getting executed myself. That would kinda be against the point of ending this game with more than 2 people left alive.
G had grown very depressed over the course of the game. He's always had a tendency to self deprecate and he's been offering himself as a meat shild since the very beginning but especially lately. So I thought I would be so kind and take him up on his offer :)
You guys don't know just how much he's been begging to be used, be useful, protect someone. Literally.
I planned the murder. I manipulated G, convincing him that this was the way to save everyone and he executed my orders. He killed her. I didn't have to get my own hands dirty. He even bought in his own ideas to cover up the murder scene!
The only information I hid from him was that I never planned to let him get away with this. He still chose to kill her, yknow? I didn't force him to do it. I did push his buttons. I knew he would do it if I just said the right words. But if I hadn't manipulated him like this, someone else eventually would've. And he would've done it for them too. Maybe it was always gonna happen!
Anyway, G got executed. Despite some hiccups during the trials, we unraveled the murder and well. He's dead now. My classmates are very upset with me hahahaha :')
But I didn't have a choice. What was supposed to do? Is it wrong of me for wanting to live? For thinking about the situation realistically? For thinking I was more necessary to end this game than either of them?
Edit: I've usurped the game master. Surely me officially ending this game will prevent people from murdering any more. :)
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samiisey · 2 years
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☆☆☆ happy halloween!! ☆☆☆
shhh it’s not a day early, no no. anyway i... really loved the new v3 halloween range graffart did (TдT);; sheepy ouma is too much, my heart exploded. i remembered in the middle of drawing this that momota’s last costume was a werewolf and hmm HMMM OH THE THINGS i could do with that (*ノ∀`*)
cough cough anywayyyy i had so so sooooo much fun drawing this!!! these boys really giving me the big happy boosts hehehe... (also doodling everyone was really fun too!!)
I GUESS A... lil warning that it’s not really nsfw but the text is suggestive so uh, sorry if that bothers you i guess just pass over me, bye bye ʅ(°ヮ°)ʃ
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ventisweetheart · 2 years
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Hi! I heard your requests were open. I have been missing Lisa Minci and any mission that involves her (i hope they make her more connected to sumeru in 2.8) ANYWAYYYY can I request for a GN reader or a female one (whatever works) in which the reader takes good care of a flirty/tipsy/drunk Lisa after a birthday party (could be jean or any other character) I JUST MISS LISA MINCI CONTENT SO MUCH 🥲🥲🙏
Drunk!Lisa x Female! Reader
Author's Note: Hiii anon! Thank you so much for this request, I have never written for Lisa before and I am so happy to! I love this idea, I hope you enjoy <3
Warnings: Drinking, Alcohol, VERY VERY VERY slight nsfw like one line, a very drunk Lisa pretty much haha.
Genre: Not too sure, but there is a lot of fluff and comfort at the end :)
Summary: Jean come by frantically looking for you to come by Angel's Share to get Lisa, seems like she has had a bit too much to drink...
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You didn't have time to join the birthday party they were holding up at Angel's Share so there you were, walking back to your home after a long day of doing work around Monstadt and your daily comissions when Jean came running to you, calling out your name.
''Hey Y/n! Hold up-'' She takes a second to catch her breath before she speaks again. She straights out her posture and sighs.
''Hey.. sorry for coming like this so suddenly, please exuse me. Uh but, if it's not an issue could you come by Angel's Share for a minute. We kind of need your help..''
You were a little annoyed. You were really looking foward to getting a full 8 hours of sleep tonight since you were off early, but you didn't complain.
''Of course, what's going on?''
''Well, it's Lisa. She got a little too lose tonight, and now she is dancing on tables and spilling wine everywhere. We tried to get her to go back home but she wouldn't budge, so we thought you could help?''
''Oh Archons, yes I will be there soon. Thank you Jean.'' You sigh before heading straight for Angel's Share.
You open the door and walk into Angel's Share, calling for Lisa.
''O-oh look! It's my *hic* f-favorite person~'' She slugglishly walks up to you with a drink in her hand and half-lidded eyes.
''Come on Lisa, let's get you home.'' You take the drink from her hand and set it on a table near you. You give some mora to Diluc to pay for the drinks. You're not sure if they were payed, but you didn't bother asking.
''Ah- waiiiit. Cutie *hic* c-come onnn. Not yet, please~'' She slurs while she makes a pathetic attempt to drag you back in. You nod your head and drag her out the door.
''Aha~ You know, you are *hic* l-looking extra fine this evening cutie~''
''And you are looking extra drunk this evening Lisa, why did you drink so much? You usually don't hang loose like this too often.'' You were a little frusterated. You could be in bed right now, you thought. But you care for her so you wouldn't just leave her like this.
''Mhm I don't know aha I- I don't remember anything aha~ hey.. c-can I sleep at your place *hic* tonight?'' At this point you didn't mind and you knew it would be a bad idea to just drop her off and leave her, so you agreed.
..............................................................................................................................
You walk into a guest room you have in your home and set her on the bed.
''I have something you can change into that I think will fit you for the night, you have wine spilled all over you.''
''Oh~ so you want me to strip huh?'' She says tugging at the sleeve of her dress.
''What? No just change, tell me when you're done.'' You roll your eyes
''*hic* I am just kidding aha, you're so red~'' You quickly close the door. You go to the kitchen to get a cold rag and a cup of water ready.
A few minutes pass and you go back to the room with the water and cold rag.
''I-I guess it does fit aha.''
''Come on, drink this.'' You put the cup of water to her lips and she begins to drink. You lay her down on the bed and put the rug on her head.
''Goodnight, sleep well.'' You get up to leave but you are stopped when you feel her grab your wrist.
''Cutie~ can you hold me, please I feel lonely'' You give her a small smile and sit next to her.
''Scoot over, make some room for me.'' She moves over a little and pats the spot next to her, winking at you. You take her in your arms and rub small circles on her back to soothe her to sleep.
''Thank you f-for taking care of me'' She says while she quickly drifts off to sleep.''
..............................................................................................................................
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mochinon-yah · 20 days
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AJDSJKSKKS HI HELLO SORRY MOCHI I JUST SAW THIS NOW PLS EXCUSE MY HAREBRAIN
ahem
man i just got off my break like a week ago hhhhh, but i can relate to being lazy and videogaming lol fdkjskj (me with acnh and genshin coughs) but my sleep schedule is considerably better? i have to wake up early on weekdays bc of my kid brother sadly smh and i spite him for it pretty sure college students are more stressed
JkeKJF THANKIES!! tbh i kind of just kept my bday private for a smaller group of friends (that includes you btw) + my boyfriend, but yea me being 20 isn't much different from being 18 lol. you rlly don't feel different until you hit 30 coughs anyway i return the headpaps and hugs mweeheheh >:D
istg my bf is just like albedo (but make him emo), cuz like he always struck me as the kind of person who will try to out-compliment you but at the same time is genuine? if that makes sense? EHFfdkskSKJFD but yea he's a sweetheart hehehe yes its real healthy couples do exist and i feel like a unicorn
anywayyyy yea i can name a lot of times where people can't catch onto my body language and i do that as well. like a simple question is fine if someone needs to get somewhere, but if it's someone i don't like i'll make it obvious. in general, if i don't know someone very well, i'll kind of just like veer away from them while giving them a dead stare- (and they still don't get the hint or are insanely blind to social cues)
NO CUZ THATS SO REAL?? if i get into a book, then it's usually because of a fanfic or some other form of media?? kind of like the acotar series i wanted to get into but like hesitant cuz i don't know if it's spicy ;3;
andd headpaps accepted nyehehehe
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LMAOOO IT'S OKAY THO, NO WORRIES VIVI!! I woke up so suddenly so idk if i can answer this ask with the right mind 😭😭 sorry if there are soem typos or whatever grammatically wrong things lol
Hdjsjsjs a break will literally activates my lazy mode, and i swear i will get so, so lazy it would probably make you wonder why am i even still ali- *cough* anyway, thank god, your sleeping schedule is much better than mine 🥹👍👍 your lil brother is such a menace but i guess helpful too lmao
And YAAA, NO PROB VIVI :3 last birthday of mine was kinda quiet because only some people remembered lol. Then again, i'm a really quiet person irl, i doubt anybody would remember it- okay, this just turns so sour??? I'm gonna stop talking abt it jdjwkiekwk
I'm part of your smaller group of friends? 🥺👉👈 awwhhhh, you're making me blush- (i'm weak to words like that wth, no guys i do have friends too irl, i'm not a loner 😭) BUT LMAO YEAH, I AGREE WITH 'you rlly don't feel different until you hit 30'. Well, i haven't hit 30 yet, but i guess the only different thing would be that you can say you're old now- /jjj
(LMAO I FELL ASLEEP WHILE ANSWERING THIS.... anyway, back to answering vivi's ask :3)
Imagining emo! bedo and you with the dynamic of emo but cute x cute and cuter is so jdnsjkska 😭 i understand why you would feel like a unicorn even in ur own relationship.... for me, i feel like the side character who just saw the main character fall in love with each other lol
BUT LIKE AAAA SO CUTE, YOU AND HIM ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER?????
*cough* anyway-
People should really be attentive to other ppl ☝️ at least they should know if they're making it uncomfy for other ppl. But err, for me personally, i don't mind people gathering close to me, buuuttt it's possibly because of my friends since all of them are a lot, lot more sociable than me hahhaahaha- honestly, they often told me to talk more with people so i can know the latest gossip and just overall have many friends, but i really can't 😭😭 friendship with me is like the slow build-up but overall genuine one, or at least that's what i think....?
But ngl tumblr has help me a lot to be more expressive in public and just overall making me more sociable than in the past <3 i won't thank the tumblr app itself because the one who made me this way now is literally myself and also a whole bunch of amazing people i had met here, including youu!!! <3 whether you and them help me directly by interacting or just endulging in my silly behavior, ily all ueyehhewh (just gonna tag some ppl here teehe -> @beloved-brynn, @meimeimeirin, @leftdestiny-posts, @fishanonishere, @navxry, @calxlu (you) ♡ ily all, all of u are just so amazing, idk what i even did to meet u all, literally so happy if we ever talk or interact here <3)
OKAY 🤚 THE VIBE IS GETTING A BIT MORE.... UN-SILLY, SO UHHH MOVING ON TO THE NEXT BIT-
Fanfic literally runs half of the fandom, and that fandom could be anything lmao. Well, not really half, but a significant amount! I think memes also run a significant amount of keeping the fandom alive too lol
BUT YEAH, I ENDED UP BUYING PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, RIGHT? AND NOW I'M LIKE... "hm, what in the world is this word? who is talking in this part?? what is even happening-" jkjk, my vocabs is kinda limited since i'm not a native english speaker, but i do understand most of what the book is actually explaining
AND YAAYYY MY HEADPATS ARE ACCEPTED <3
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Stokes Song Spotlight: "Lush Life"
This first song spotlight segment is brought to you by me learning that the word "distingué" exists and what it means (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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Okay so hear me out, I was on the phone with my mom discussing normal everyday things like Frank Sinatra songs we've never heard before. My mom offered up the recommendation to listen to "Memories of You" from the new Sinatra Platinum release (x). While I was scrolling through this album on Spotify, I saw that "Lush Life" was on there.
"Lush Life" is a song that I had never heard before summer 2022 when I heard Brian Stokes Mitchell sing it at 54 Below. He told the story of Billy Strayhorn and Duke Ellington and how Strayhorn was a black, out, gay man during the 1940s/50s jazz scene. He wrote the song when he was 16! A few days after the 54 Below show, I heard Stokes sing the song on the Boston Pops performance that aired on the radio, and then again two more times live at the Perelman Center (10/5/23) and Ridgefield Playhouse (10/29/23). Ted Firth features prominently on piano, playing a long mood-setting intro before Stokes comes in on vocals and then another solo in the middle of the song.
“where one relaxes on the axis of the wheel of life, to get the feel of life..”
It’s one of those hypnotic songs, that somehow feels both simple and complex at the same time. I am extremely biased (you know where you are) but I’ll type it out anyway, Stokes’s version is my favorite. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen him sing it live and up close and you can tell he loves it too, but I also think his version is the most mournful. And what I mean by that is he just gets across all the story potential in the song. Like he paints the scene of a guy in a rumpled suit, sitting at a corner table, a fedora pushed back to the crown of his head, hungover and nursing a drink too early in the morning —but in that sad, smoky almost Edward Hopper-like picture you can also see that he’ll be back later, decked out and ready for those brief moments of life that the night brings when the band is playing and everything is right. I know I watch too many old movies it’s true. I guess what I’m trying to say is Stokes makes it cinematic ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ My next favorite version is by Sarah Vaughan.
Anywayyyy, I’m not gonna lie I thought the lyrics were “distant gay traces” but they are actually “distingué traces.” I’ve never heard that word before and I had to look it up, it means having a distinguished manner or appearance and it makes the song so much better. It also gave me the idea for doing these song spotlights because I love learning and sharing my dumb nerd research. So please enjoy the links below for more info about Billy Strayhorn and then pop your headphones on and give this song a listen in all its many forms. And here’s hoping that it makes its way onto a Stokes album someday ✨
[side note: looking up stuff about this song also helped me to learn that the aforementioned Ted Firth has an album titled Lush Life with Tony Desare and one of the tracks is, you guessed it, Lush Life!] (x) (x)
Links:
versions of Lush Life by Stokes (x)
playlist with other versions of Lush Life (x) (x)
the lyrics (x)
an NPR interview from 2007 in support of PBS documentary about Strayhorn (x)
Link to Lush Life: A Biography of Billy Strayhorn by David Hadju on amazon (x)
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littlerosetrove · 2 months
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If the hints and speculation about Buck being (and coming out as) bi this season turn out to be true, I'd honestly be really happy to see it done well and done with respect. I am forever and always a Buddie girlie (gn), and of course I'd looove to see Buddie become canon, but whatever the outcome of Buck and Eddie, again I'll be so pleased to see a bi Buck storyline handled with care.
As far as we can even tell, Eddie for season 7 is and will still be written as straight (despite Ryan playing Eddie so beautifully and so so queer <3). And of course this can change down the road because if Buck is going to be bi and if this is received well by the audience, well then that paves an easier path to later make Eddie queer too.
I've seen talk about the hows and whys of why the show would need to "introduce" one of our presumably straight guys as not straight, and not doing both at the same time. *flaps hand* Like I get all that, and hopefully y'all are okay with me not expanding on that further, cause we all get why anyway, yeah? So okay.
One way in which I hope Buck being bi is done justice is that whoever his new love interest may be (plenty think it'll be Tommy) will be a character that the writers care about, and put actual effort into whoever he is. Because as it stands, the only love interests that got the most work (for Buck) were Abby and Taylor. Yes even Taylor. The biggest issue there was that we all had to suffer her for over a fucking year, but anywayyyy. Ali in season 2 was barely present, but she had some spunk to her I suppose. Natalia is barely a character, be honest. Just based on her actions we can only conclude that no actually, she and Buck should not date (and thankfully it seems Natalia will be gone very early season 7).
So really I'm truly hoping that the guy, whoever he is and however long he sticks around, is a decently well rounded and written character. Bonus is if the guy is someone I can like on his own. That would be great! Because to mention Buck's previous love interests again, to me 1) Abby was an interesting character, but I didn't like how she treated Buck, 2) Ali was fine but she was there and gone, 3) Taylor was a shitty person and girlfriend and dear god I hope she has no more appearances, and 4) Natalia is just kinda there and yet still clearly not a good match for Buck.
Part of what I'm trying to say with these comparisons I guess is that while I'm a Buddie girlie (gn) and will always prefer them over any other pairing, like damn it would be a wonderful change to have a love interest for Buck (and Eddie) that I actually like, y'know?
To briefly touch on Eddie's romantic pairings 1) Shannon was an interesting character, but I didn't like her, 2) Ana was nice I guess (though low key ableist) but so bland, and 3) Marisol isn't even a character at this point, lbr. So I'm kinda begging at this point to give these fellas a love interest that I can like. 🙃
I hope all of this made sense.
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aqqleshiqqing-archive · 9 months
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I feel like a madman for being the only one who knows that it has me like
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ANYWAYYYY... I'm curious to hear if ivie has any other characters she meets/cross paths with? Other than the given ofc, but I'm curious to hear what she thinks of certain characters if u ever thought abt it (like the dreamers, or anyone else rlly) :3c
the first character I think ivie HAS to meet is myla, probably the early few bugs who ivie met but wasn't aware with her condition - they definitely sung together and shared the wealth with the crystals and then ivie left, she kept a small crystal as a small remeberance of their little friendship (what happens to myla later is up to you, and you can only assume what ivie felt later, if you know what I mean ;])
ivie and quirrel would be interesting, I think she would listening to him carefully and would see him as a teacher of some sorts... they encounter each other a lot especially at places that has hidden truth about the kingdom (like the temple of the black egg). she likes to think of monomon's mask as his cute umbrella.... maybe quirrel also showed her one of the fountains (I forgot what they're called oml basta the ones that heal your soul and mask shield HAHAHAAH) to relax since he does notice her somewhat weakened condition though he respects how she still continues to be adventurous. would say something like "body be frail, but the willpower is the victor the physical strength" :] heheheheheh
OH OH SHE LOVES ELDERBUG he's like her peepaw she keeps talking about the things she'd see and gets excited about it <3 and he's like. mmm yes... it's nice to talk to people like you
iselda and cornifer likes her company too... she would sometimes see cornifer around the place and talk to them for a bit <3 would pop around their shop too because.... why not!! ivie is happy to know there's new people so she tries to visit everyone y'know!
I don't think she would actually know the dreamers very well but like quirrel, she would love to meet monomon since she's a wise person and can answer all of her curiousities ..... heuheeu
ivie has never seen hornet, but hornet has definitely seen her a couple of times and wondered if she is dangerous or not... turns out she's alright and does feel kind of worried about her sometimes....
ALSO THE GRUBS IVIE WOULD LOVE THE GRUBS SOOO MUCH WAHH the grubs love her light and would follow wherever she goes EHEHEHEHEH
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supercriminalbean · 1 year
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Welcome Beanies.
Hello Bitchess!!! 
Masterlist.
Fic request guidelines.
Welcome to my page, this is going to be a weird and strange place. So if you are normal this isn't the place for you but I will still welcome you to this place. This little page is my safe place, no one knows me here and that's the best thing about tumblr. 
You may call me AL, my pronouns are still being figured out, I don't feel comfortable with any so 😂😂 y'all may just use anything also feminine or masculine pet names allowed prefer gender neutral but y'all go wild. Im 21 years old and trying to figure out what the hell Im doing in my life, so all aboard the ride of life. This page is going to be filled with my interests, things I love, some writing that I do and some weird stuff about my personal life and some silly issues that I may have.  So yall welcome to watch me go through my early 20s crisis please enjoy and if anyone wants to start a strange or awesome conversation please feel welcome too. 
Fandoms Im currently obsessed with are Criminals Minds (Take a quick look at my page might figure that out ya self) Also love 9-1-1 and Marvel. Those are my top three fandoms at the moment. I'm sure there's more that I just can not think of right now haha.
I have been completely and utterly obsessed with Criminal Minds for the past year which is so bad, my friends are over my crap so thats why im on here (kinda) Anywayyyy. I love Criminal Minds because all the characters have their own purpose and their own flaws. No one is perfect and that's why I like it. 
I am way too in love with Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi and I blame that on my daddy issues. Like please those men are 40+ years older than me but I would let them hit it without a second thought like damn sir please holy fuck me. Anywayyy I am a whore but not the point. All of the BAU team feels like a family and are my comfort characters depending on my type of mood and it's just..perfect. 
I have a huge writing ideas list on what Fics I want to write for everyone on the main team and some of the other team members in the later seasons. I won’t post a lot at the moment, maybe once every week or so but that's the best I can do with my schedule. With my writing I will mainly write Gender neutral Reader as I don’t think there are enough of them out there. I will write the odd Male and Female reader as well, I'm not the best writer and would love feedback thank you loves.
So ya enjoy the craziness and welcome to my weirdness called life. 
Love yas.
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fayes-fics · 11 months
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Faye darling!! Congrats on 2.5k!! You are so deserving of all the recognition.
Just popping in to say I love alllll your fics but "Many Things" is one of my comfort rereads. And so is "Somewhere Only We Know". And also the entirety of "Moments". And "Innocence". OKAY FINE, I'm obsessed with all of them!!
Thank you for sharing your talent with us 💜
Hi lovely! 🫶
Aww thank you so much, you are so kind 🥹
And thank you for letting me know your fave fics. 🫶
Many Things and Somewhere Only We Know are faves of mine too tbh, friends to lovers seems to work so well for modern Ben somehow, I think because the societal rules are different.
So glad you enjoyed Moments and Innocence too! Moments will always have a special place in my heart tbh and I have another couple of fluff/humour one-shots I’m planning for that universe. I don’t really have many offcuts from that fic. If I did at one point, I used them in a later one-shot.
Innocence. Ah 24k of Benedict the sex teacher lolol. That fic is now doing serious numbers on Wattpad, it’s even being read across Africa which blows my tiny mind. Anywayyyy I guess that role suits the Benace well. Who wouldn’t want to be an innocent having him teach the ropes eh? 😂 Again no real offcuts on that one, any I had I ended up using a version of in a future chapter.
Here’s some tidbits about the other two stories undercut cos it’s got explicit detail:
For Many Things I had a slightly different version of the intimate scene the morning after they wake up together that was a lot more explicit, but I changed it up a little as I didn’t want too much cum play/breeding kink lol..
Somewhere Only We Know I also changed up some of the sex scenes. In an early draft he had her squirting when he fingers her (it was part of the anon requests I built the story on) but I didn’t like the way that sat in the story so I removed it.
Thank you so much for your ask lovely 🫶😁🧡🧡
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nancypullen · 1 year
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Monday, Monday
Oh, I can’t wait for the day when Monday no longer means Mickey dragging down the hallway to sit in front of a screen all day.  He’s good at his job, and most days he actually enjoys it (that might be stretching the truth a bit), but he’s a little over a year from retirement and the grind is getting to him.  I bite my tongue and do not point out that he doesn’t fight traffic, he doesn’t even have to put pants on if he doesn’t feel like it, and his lovely assistant provides a delicious and nutritious lunch every day. He’s got it better than a lot of people, but no one wants to hear that when you’ve worked since your teens and you’re ready to relax and reap the benefits of all that hard work. In other words, Mondays around here are still a bummer.  I try not to be too chipper and I made Monday my bathroom cleaning and laundry day just so I can suffer a little in sympathy.  I probably have a better time cleaning toilets than he does at his desk.  In other news, it was raining Etsy boxes at my house today.
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  I’ve used all but about three dollars of my gift certificates and I think I chose wisely.  Garden stuff, hobby stuff, a little jewelry, and this little mouse came all the way from the UK.
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Now she’s here to keep my art room tidy.   Anyone recognize her? That’s Hunca Munca from Beatrix Potter’s  A Tale of Two Bad Mice.  She and her husband, Tom Thumb, left their mousehole because the temptation of a dollhouse was just too much.  Once inside the dollhouse they were so disappointed that all of the delicious-looking food was fake that they made quite a mess. SHe felt awful about it and now very early every morning Hunca Munca tidies the dollhouse before anyone wakes.  I’m hoping she’ll do the same around here. If not, at least she makes me smile.
And in the name of tidying up, I’ve been trying to make the most of the pantry space and get it organized.  This was the vision I had...
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Yeahhhh, I don’t have that kind of pantry.
I have a long way to go, but I’ve labeled areas so I can start placing similar items in groups and eventually I’ll have lots of pretty baskets ad labeled containers.  But for right now it looks like this.
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That’s just one corner. I also have sections for table linens, small appliances, baking stuff, and so on. It’s not pretty yet, but it’s functional.  Even though it’s not pretty, I have to admit that I love opening the doors and seeing Ina Garten smiling at me.
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Right now I’m really wishing I’d painted the walls behind those ugly metal shelves.  You know darn well I’d paint them a soft, pale pink and make it all girly. Great, now I’m thinking pink and you know once I get it in my head....Mickey will hate hearing this idea.  I’d also love to replace those wire/metal shelves with some dark stained wood.  Bet he’ll fight me on that.  You all already know I’m going to have a pink pantry with dark shelves, right?   Anywayyyy, big weekend coming up.  The Edgewaters are escaping for a romantic weekend and that means that Little Miss is staying with us.  I’m brainstorming some fun stuff for us to do, but entertainment will not be a problem - my sister is driving over on Saturday morning!  She’s down from Maine for the winter and she wants to pop in and see us.  Actually, she wants to giggle with the grandgirl and I think it will be a hoot to see that her Grancy has a sister.  I’ll tell her we’re like Elsa and Anna except very, very old.  I’m sure the three of us can stir up some fun.
That said, here’s my quandary.  The Miss Universe pageant is Saturday night.  You know how I am about that particular event.  I’ve been doing my research, getting glimpses of national costumes, hoping for a peek at evening gowns.  I’m excited.  So, do I turn it on and let the grandgirl stay up past her bedtime to see princesses from around the world?  If I do that, there will be running commentary.  Also, her parents may not want her watching a pageant. Do I record it and watch it Monday night after we return her to her rightful owners?  I’d have to be very careful not to watch or read any news that might spoil it.  Does this seem frivolous - yes, of course. Would I give up pageants forever for weekends with her? Absolutely. But this is my Super Bowl and I enjoy the heck out of it.  I’m thinking I’ll play it safe and watch it on Monday.   I really don’t need her telling her parents that she stayed up and watched a show where women walked around in swimsuits in exchange for a big diamond crown. Mmmkay, I think I’ll head upstairs and take a bubble bath.  The mister is watching the Georgia-Texas game, apparently this is a big one.  If I go take a bath now I can stay upstairs and turn that tv to murder.  Either that or I can browse pink paint samples for the pantry.  Mickey will probably consider that a crime. Hope you’ve had a pleasant Monday.  If not, then I’m glad it’s over. May the rest of your week be surprisingly fun. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy
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