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diariesof-kg · 3 years

Text

Love & Order.

08_01_2021

I am bothered that I keep having dreams about this person. I am confused why my mind is going in reverse. Why my mind creates these visuals of us happy and being together when that could never be. Perhaps it’s the illusion of the mind. Perhaps my dream is the reality of false hopes. It’s strange and I need it to stop. There are moments that I do miss, I can be honest about but I feel as those the rush of disappointments erased all of that.

I do embrace the dreams because they are true feelings that I had. I really loved and cared about her deeply. It is extremely hard to make me fall in love. I don’t rush into using the word love either. I have to feel it on a spiritual level before it leaves my mouth. I am at most disappointed with myself though. I reflect a lot and think, girl, you were blinded because you left a lot of people behind for things they did to you and you couldn’t see any of this coming. But relationships are complicated as usual. The last time we had a disagreement, was when she was doing my hair. And I remember I just got over it quick and asked for a kiss. And that was the end of it. There are positive reasons why I stayed although it felt toxic as hell. I had experienced things I didn’t experience in my past relationships. I legit slept on the couch, floor after an argument from my past. I legit couldn’t get a hug or kiss. It was bad and so part of me was getting something different and I stayed. There were positive moments.

After the court proceedings, I reflected on what was said. She said she bit me to get me to leave. But I was bit outside of your residence and it wasn’t a nibble, it was cuts in my arms and a nasty bruise that looked gross overtime. That statement made me sick to my stomach. It just reminded me of victims in domestic violence situations get blamed for them being harmed. She admitted to it, but still didn’t apologize. It was disgusting. This is why I will speak on what happened to me to the masses. Because there are so many victims who live in silence, because of how conditioned they have become from their partners. Like when she told me her friend slit her wrist and wrote I love you all over the girlfriend walls because they were breaking up. What excuse is that? What if your friend killed her girlfriend, you are going to blame the dead? She shouldn’t have broken up with someone crazy, then she’d be alive. This is truthfully sick. It makes sense why your friends are your friends and why as a flock of pigeons, neither one of you really held each other accountable. Her and her friends find excuses to one’s actions and blames the victims. That’s honestly scary. I am lowkey scared for my life now. I mean wow. And then the person who paid you to mail drugs or what have you told you the police was coming and to not come home. I should report his ass. LOL. He part of the problem too. You have a whole ring device to avoid the police from your recreational activities. Oh boy.

I am at peace though. I feel refreshed after everything that has happened. I wish I could date someone else, but I am stuck, well my soul is stuck on the person who betrayed me. I am patiently waiting for everything to resolve itself, so that I can move on and be with someone else. I feel like the timing and the universe will work itself out. I honestly love the Buffins. The way they built their foundation and their relationship is goals. They both have great work ethics and indulge in each other. I know where they are with each other took a lot of time, but when you know that person is your forever I am going to have to assume something silently dings. I thought she was my person too, but somehow I was wrong. Still upset with myself about that. I even thought, what if all this blows over and we reunite but then I think to myself, she told a federal employee that I stole her identity. I just can’t forgive that. That’s really dangerous to lie like that. You walking around Los Angeles telling lies like that. I work for the government how gross can you get. You could make up any lie on me but that is too far. Even the lawyer was shocked and was like, you work with so many people, why would you choose her. Especially when they ask if she has a job or monies. They trying to understand the motive here. Like that is disgusting. That’s part of my story too. Like I said, someone else is for me. A soulmate. A lifetime partner. I just have to be patient enough. I want to move in with my partner and travel together. I want to propose the whole nine.

So before everything hit the fan, I had this plan to ask her to be my gf. The only person that knew of this was my bff Nay. I had told her to ask her what kind of ring she likes and all these questions. I started taking her out on random dates just to see how things could go. I had bought a ring, lordt nobody knows, because they’d all kill me. Lol. But I did. You can even check my bookmarks. Even when I was planning Big Sur, it was all part of the plot. I remember trying to figure out how to get her out of the resort room to set this all up. I even reached out to a planner. I am very romantic when it comes to showing my partner love. I don’t believe in showing it upfront all the time, because its cliche. I even had the idea of at my house. It was a thing. And this was being planned since December. I think my bff did ask silver or gold and my bff said silver. It was bound to happen regardless of us being on bad terms, because I never give up on what I truly feel. But parts of me is glad I saw those tweets. Because I would have been a dumbass bish looking real stupid. I mean I still looked stupid because I was loyal and not being flirtatious to others. I am still upset at my damn self to be honest.

I wake up everyday feeling great, because I can replan it for someone else. I can fall in love with someone else. I can spoil someone else who will truly love and care about me. Who is secure within themselves and open. That is what keeps me going. Even though I felt broken after April 30th, I told my therapist no one will ever want me. And I cried for a week. I look back and think damn I survived that. Someone will accept me as damage goods and understand my past. I do believe it will happen soon. It’s difficult being that covid has made its rounds again. But I took time from work to refocus on a few things. My room is almost done. Its going to be like a spiritual room when you walk in. You can meditate, write on the board of things you want to let go of and then it’s just that. I my friends to feel at peace when they come in. I know it seems strange but that’s how I want my condo to be as well. Like a zen vibe. I am just waiting for more stuff to be delivered. I am excited about that. I have not have the urge to hop back on any dating sites. I do feel different about myself. I have never had trust issues at all. And now I do. I am definitely scared to get to know someone or allow them to know me. It’s not a good feelings at all. But I do want to be with someone by 2022. I want to share a life with someone. There is no rush but I for one don’t want to be past 35, still can’t be in a relationship.

Parts of me is sad though too. Because we would look at million dollar homes and in my head, I knew how simple it would to get it. But like spiritual z said, you can’t protect her anymore and I have to move on and get out of this cycle. But I do want to settle down by 2022. I want to get this townhouse or condo and then a Tesla. And then whomever is interested can have the choice as we get serious to move in with me or we get a place together. All about communication and commitment and I am ready for that. But also, I have to close this chapter. Which means after telling my story to the blogs, the groups etc. and I am fully healed, I know the universe will be ready to send me someone by the end of the year. I am honestly excited, because I am definitely going to take my future bae on a vacation by the 5th date. I am not playing this time. I have the means to do it, so why not. I saved up enough for anything I desire at this point. Plus thank you MTV and VH1. Thank you for all the bookings honestly.

To end this blog, I will post the responses I received after the domestic violence occurred. I posted this anonymously to avoid being flooded in my inbox. But it made me feel better about the situation, especially when you are torn.

Until next time...

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shortpirateking · 4 years

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2,11

Ja(*reeees in confusion and how to come up with good qualities*)

2. What’s 3 things your f/o likes about you?

I have....literally no idea- especially on specific F/o’s... I guess for the general it’d be creativity, adventurous, and silly???

11. Free pass to gush about your f/o

Okay so!!! I have many many many *MANY* f/o’s- all from different fandoms and even to a few of my friend’s oc’s!! so it’s hard to list every single one but I am ABSOLUTELY going to list many of them with a little ramble(and the fandom because sO MANY CHARACTERS. (not counting transformers characters, book characters, or Oc’s/ readers for the sake of space)

Dark Crystal(first ofc)

SkekTek: oh do I LOVE this boy!!! His intelligence, his backstory!! I just wish to hold him close, protect him from the world and go on a vacation with him and Sidetic!!!

SkekVar: Originally I wasn’t so fond of him- but his dumb himbo self has grown on me- i remember having a dream a long time ago of the skeksis turning human after saving thra(long plotline) and becoming like teasing partners who playfought a lot. I wantthis still.

SkekGra and Urgoh: They’re just!!!! So sweet!!! I want to snuggle with them, make puppet shows together with them and just enjoy being hermits!!!!

UrVa: Husband material?? yes?? His voice is amazing and i just want to be wrapped in his arms in the forest, learn archery and!!! AAAHSUAIHSA

SkekMal: Scary forest man who shits in the woods with a dark and sexy voice??? sign me tf UP *So many things i’d do with this feral lad*

UrSol: I just....love him so much- I want to snuggle, spoil, tease, and sing with him.

UrTih: I would do ANYTHING to make him blush, embarrass him then snuggle him as he hides his face. UrTih is mY LAD

UrSan: She’s literally a mermaid and she’s so!!! PRETTY I’M SO GAY FOR HER

SkekSa: EVEn GAYER FOR thIS LASS HOLY SHIT SHE COULD STEP ON ME AND I’D THANK HER DUOIS

SkekLi: As a musical/history/folklore nerd. I’d kill to sit by a fire, sing folk songs and tell stories, make up our own plays, and just...enjoy being silly without the worry of being ridiculed.

SkekShod(Sorry shroom-): My??? My love?? I want to give this Skeksis my treasure chest of shiny rocks- I want to hold him close, love and kiss him- if he ever told me he loved me i’d *melt*

Assassin’s Creed

Ezio Auditore: he is *beyond* handsome- and good golly is he just!!! PERFECT. He has so much character development- i just want to learn Italian, follow his adventures and see all the things he has seen!!! (and befriend all of his friends)

Yusuf Tazim: Turkish lad??? Dorky, and just so silly??? yes??? I just....want to run through Istanbul with him---

Federico Auditore: HE WAS ONLY ALIVE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES OF GAMEPLAY BUT I WANT TO MARRY HIM OK

Altair Ibn La-ahad: Oh boy have I had so mANY DAYDREAMS WITH THIS MAN. I’d kill to have the frenemies to lovers romance with him, aid him in his quests, become his right hand man and just....Share life with him and Maria- being the weird aunt of Darim and Sef

Malik Al-Sayf: SAME HERE WITH MALIK. I just...want to grow up with him and Kadar, learn to be an assassin with them and just- help him through his grief, change the course of time- or if not, be there for Tazim as he grows.

Charles Vane: I have literally no reason to like this man, but I do.

Anne Bonney and Mary Reed: Amazing tough pirate gorls who kick ass and take names- what is there to NOT love?!?!?! (I just want to flirt and love on both of them- and many other NSFW things)

The Hobbit/Lotr

Aragorn: a king and warrior, strong and brave- and just!!! iosjdisada

Boromir: I really feel bad for this lad- he was merely a mortal, and sacrificed so much to regain his honor... I wish I could have saved him- or gave him comfort-

Bofur: He is the life of the party and I want nothing more than to dance on a table with him while singing at the top of our lungs. 10/10 best friends as lovers

Bifur: I want nothing more than to learn Khuzdul, speak with him and just...hold hands as I watch him make such intricate toys, see both that wild side and gentle side.

Nori: I just like his stupid starfish hair and shenanigans okay??? he’s a little shithead thief

Kili: babbi boi....babi

Tauriel: Strong independent woman??? Red hair??? badass?? I don’t care that she wasn’t in the book, I WANT HER HAND IN MARRIAGE

Marble Hornets

Tim Wright: husband?? I would have loved to hold him- before all went to shit- i’d love to be in a poly/open relationship with him, Jay and Brian(brian we’d share, but Jay would be is(As he is CANON GAY AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY BEFORE MY HC WAS RIGHT)

Alex Kralie: Honestly was probably an adorable dork before the sickness got to him- I still love the bad ending @probably-rabid and I roleplayed before-

Arata Kangatari(manga is the best)

Kannagi I just- love his character arc so much!!! even afterwards he’s such a dORK AND I LOVE HIM

Yorunami: Okay look- we both went through so much from our parents- so much trauma. I wish to hold him and help him to let go, to forgive but understand that doesn’t mean he has to excuse behavior.

Isora: He went through so much...so much... he didn’t deserve anything that he got, like at all... the fact he turned evil is not a surprise at all- i would have too...I just wish I could love on him, allow him to know there is love.

Eto: He’s such a good big brother....I just...want to love him... so much

Kuroshitsuji:

Hannah Anafeloz: She was my first gay crush I can remember(then again I can’t remember too much of my childhood at all so-) and I love her so much-

Claude Faustus: I fucking hate him- and yet I love him sso sosososo much(Legit he is more of a yandere f/o and I rEEEE)

Herman Greenhill: Idc what happened in the manga- Often daydreamed about getting into Weston high and just... having him question his sexuality(As I’d be presenting as male the entire time) and just--- !!!!

Wolfram Gelzer: Big bad guy who learned to love?? Like!!! He is so sweet!!! big scary Germany teddy bear. 10/10 would snuggle. Also I love sullivan so we’d team up to tease the crap out of him

Gregory Violet: emo boi...likes black and cloaks. He is my goth boi and just...I want to draw with him- save him from Bravat along with the others- and other things that are plot related

Lawrence Bluer: Same for him-and I love how he is! I feel like he’d be a blushing nerd sometimes- but also be calm and collected. gOD I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND AS WE SHARE A BOOK

The Triplets(thompson, timber, and canterbury): I have no reason to love them- yet i do.

Agni: *incoherent screaming and sobbing as I recall what happened* HE DESERVED SO MUCH AND I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMM

Snake: Babbi boi...babbi pt 2- I love him so much- he was my first ever cosplay, tricked my uncle into naming his snake after one of his(Keats). I just want to snuggle this boi.

Joker: sweet boi put into bad situation- I wish I could have saved him and the rest of the circus act-

Jumbo: okay but he is literally like 10ft tall. I want his height. I WANT TO BE CARRIED BY THIS MAN. LET ME BE CARRIED BY MY SUPER TALL HUSBAND OKAY?!?!?!

(I have so so so so SO MANY MORE- but that’s the main ones. Thank you for my TedTalk)

#I can't feel my arms #I want to love all of them #i have so many #Black butler #kuroshitsuji #Assassin's creed #Dark Crystal #the dark crystal age of resistance #The Dark Crystal #Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance #arata kangatari #Marble Hornets #lord of the rings #The Hobbit #I don't even want to write all these characters down

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vagrantblvrd · 4 years

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Can I get some Freewood love with the not!fic prompts?

Friend, omg, yes!

I was thinking about various ideas for these two and was blanking on something that didn’t fizzle out after the first bit?

But I woke up to snow this morning (we usually don’t see a lot of it where I live) and I was like !!!

Because, look, okay. Those snowed in fic tropes that often go hand in hand with a ~remote cabin?

But also I’ve been thinking a lot about bounty hunter-y AUs lately. (I blame all the cheesy movies/tv shows I grew up on).

SO.

FAHC-ish AU where Ryan starts out as this bounty hunter-ish guy. Works with Michael after there was a Situation that amounts to your typical buddy cop kind of deal?

(Loose cannon/idiot Ryan who ended up in the business after some shenanigans that’s part of his Tragic Backstory and somewhat less of a loose cannon Michael who was just tracking down this asshole who owed him money and got dragged into the whole thing and realized he wasn’t bad at it/kind of liked the work? And then like. They started a business together because that’s what happened in a lot of those terribad movies/tv shows I watched I guess?)

ANYWAY.

Bounty hunter Ryan who’s gaining a reputation for being a creepy bastard – that sense of humor of his and jokes that don’t land right with certain audiences. Also, doesn’t talk a lot on jobs because as Michael’s pointed out flubbing his words makes him look like a dumbass? (More of one, anyway.)

So he channels the Cool Guys from terribad 80s movies and such when he’s working, and there was that time the masks came into play because Bigger Baddies and it was a panic!moment and there was a mask kiosk right there, it’s not like he fucking planned it, Michael. (Being the nerd he is, though, he immediately gravitated towards the skull mask and now it’s part of his aesthetic. Because reasons.)

Michael’s back in Los Santos dealing with paperwork and recovering from their last job – took a nasty spill off a low roof and sprained his ankle/fractured something/whatever works as a legit Plot Reason for him not going with Ryan on this latest job.

Hacker who got into stuff he shouldn’t have – businessman or politician or other Upstanding Citizen who has all these Rumors floating around them that went to Ryan and Michael about their problem.

Offering them a shit-ton of money to bring this hacker in, no questions asked and all. Best not to, really, because the little weasel is just full of lies and would say anything to save their skin. Honestly, just trust the businessman/politician explicitly and ignore the hacker’s lies and it’ll all be fine.

(Yeah, not sketchy at all, but the guy’s got some muscle-bound goons with him and they’re definitely the kind who’d have no problems killing a couple of nobodies like Ryan and Michael and what pleasure it will be to do business with them, yes indeedy)

Anyway.

Of course this asshole hacker is Gavin and of course he went digging into stuff he shouldn’t have and oh, God, he should have taken Dan up on the offer to visit him earlier.

Now he’s being chased all over the place by this lunatic in the leather jacket and nothing he does seems to slow him down for long.

Traps and lies and doubling back and hiding and whatever else that ends up with them up in the mountains somehow? Gavin running to this little town – supposed to be able to find a small airport nearby and a plane he could ~borrow to put some space between himself and all these bastards in Los Santos only to find out it was all in vain.

The plane he was told about rusting away, bullet holes all along the fuselage and ripping through one wing and he doesn’t know what happened here, but it can’t have been pleasant.

And then Ryan showing up, all Scary Spooky with his stupid everything (no mask because it really was a one time thing, why won’t you drop it, Michael?) and the piece of junk car Gavin stole to get out there and this ridiculous ~chase up a winding mountain road.

Up high enough for there to be snow, a light dusting of it on the ground and too focused on not dying to notice the storm about to hit, and anyway, anyway.

The car dies halfway up the mountain and Gavin makes a go of it on foot for a bit. Remembers seeing a cabin or such on a map he looked at way earlier, or maybe a gas station attendant mentioned it at some point, whichever.

He gets a fair distance away, Ryan bitching as he gives chase and at the start of this whole merry chase Gavin was !!! but as things went on and Ryan stumbled/fumbled along behind him grumbling and complaining and such he’s more ??? because who the hell is this guy?

Not like the other people this businessman/politician sent after him – those were more likely to just kill him and bring his body in, real unpleasant bastards, but this guy?

Gavin doesn’t even know.

They’ve had those intense face-to-face confrontations that could have gone Badly a time or two, always interrupted by some unsuspecting passerby or stray jumping out of hiding to startle them enough for Gavin to slip away.

Just enough for Gavin to wonder if maybe this one won’t put a bullet in him so he can’t run – one of the others tried that and thank God Gavin stopped by an Ammu-nation before hand to grab some body armor under his clothes or he’d be very, very dead, wouldn’t he?

Make him curious, because for all the inconveniences and such Gavin tosses his way, all the angry yelling and bitching and complaining Gavin catches wind of? He hasn’t decided to hell with it and shot Gavin when he had the chance. (Or worse, because wow there are all these ways he could have killed Gavin by now.)

Anyhow, Gavin’s still running, yes, but he’s not flat-out terrified the way he was at the start. All the traps and whatever else he threw at Ryan intending to slow him down, but no real concern about any injuries that might be inflicted in the process.

Now Gavin finds himself dismissing things that might do serious damage to Ryan even if means Gavin could actually escape. (Stupid, stupid, stupid, because no way to know if he’s right about Ryan or if he’s just looking to collect on a bigger payday for bringing Gavin in alive, but yes.)

And then!

In their run through the woods or whatever is taking place, Gavin has to cross this rickety bridge over a river and is terrified the whole time it’ll give way under his weight, but by some miracle it doesn’t. He gets across just fine, and is almost out of sight when Ryan comes charging across, and of course that’s when the damn thing gives up the ghost.

Gavin pulled up short by Ryan’s startled yelp, turning around just in time to see him swept away by the current and almost, almost taking the opportunity to get the hell away.

But, no.

Because of course he damns himself for being an idiot, a fool, and runs along the river bank after Ryan. Keeps track of him as he pelts along until there’s a safe(ish) spot for him to fish Ryan out, pull him to solid ground.

Ryan who’s been doing his best not to drown, trying to remember all the things you’re supposed to do in that kind of situation and certain he’s going to die out here and Michael will bitch about how fucking stupid he was for the rest of his life, because of course he would.

And then there are hands grabbing at him and he’s being pulled out of the water and onto land and he gets a glimpse of a too-familiar face (annoying as hell and goddamn Ryan hates the little shit so much) before he passes out.

Wakes up who knows how much later in this dusty, rickety old cabin in the middle of nowhere freezing his ass off and also kind of without the clothes he was wearing earlier?

Musty blanket and jacket he doesn’t recognize thrown over him and someone (with an accent) muttering to themselves as they struggle to start a fire and what the hell happened?

He must say something or make too much noise while getting his bearings because the hacker whips around clutching a sad little book of matches in his hand and looking like a trapped animal as he watches Ryan nervously.

“Ah, hello,” the hacker says with this awkward little laugh. “You’re awake?”

And then, you know.

Ryan finding out the hacker dragged Ryan all the way up here just as the snowstorm hit and did what he could to warm him up. Was just starting to work at getting a fire started to warm things up faster when Ryan woke up and looks like they’re going to be stuck up here for a while, you know?Ryan half-frozen and clearly in no shape to hike down the mountain even if the storm wasn’t shaping up to be a bastard of a storm. (Supposed to last a couple of days, dump a significant amount of snow and no one in their right might would be out in it.)

And Gavin is still staring at him warily, keeps out of arm’s reach and skittish as hell and with the flickering light from the lantern Gavin managed to light Ryan can see how tired he looks?

Exhausted and run ragged (literally) and just as beat up after the last however long he’s been on the run. (Way before Ryan and Michael got pulled into things, that’s for damn sure.)

“Oh,” Gavin says, and fishes Ryan’s phone out of his pocket. “Michael wanted you to call him back when you woke up.”

Which.

What.

Gavin shrugs and explains that after he ~borrowed Ryan’s phone off him earlier that day, the day before in one of their face-to-face confrontations Michael called it expecting to get Ryan.

Turns out he’d been doing some Investigating, talked to a hacker buddy of a friend of his (Matt and Jeremy, respectively) and found out the asshole businessman/politician who hired them didn’t tell them everything.

That oh, hey, maybe it would be a good idea to keep Gavin alive and meet back in Los Santos somewhere to discuss what their next move was because they’re pretty much guaranteed to end up dead if they don’t. (The businessman/politician intending to double-cross them and either get them thrown in jail or outright killed rather than risk loose threads and such. What with that being the case with all the others they sent after Gavin and just. Yeah.)

And of course Gavin was like, ??? and talked to Michael about things and they’ve got this truce/understanding thing going on and Michael telling him Ryan’s a stubborn fuck and it might take a while for him to come around. (Also, don’t let the idiot die if at all possible.)

Gavin wary of a trap, but also this tiny grain of hope maybe things wouldn’t end with him dead, and then the bridge and the river and that moment of hesitation he feels guilty/ashamed of as he hands back Ryan’s phone.

Battery’s almost dead and there’s a sliver of a signal up this high/remote location, but the fact Gavin gave it back is…promising?

Not exactly trust but pretty damn close, and Ryan calls Michael and isn’t sure if the asshole hears him or what, but he tells him about their current situation and a place they could meet in a few days before it completely cuts off/dies and then, well.

Then it’s him and Gavin and this cabin in the middle of nowhere and ALL the huddling for warmth and sharing stories and FEELINGs.

Soft looks when Gavin falls asleep somewhere in there, exhausted as hell and the kind of trust/nothing left to do so in Ryan’s presence after everything they’ve been through.

Usual romcom stuff and when the weather clears and they make their way down the mountain to meet up with Gavin run into some baddies and have to fight their way free.

Another day or so to get to the meeting spot with Michael – small town nearby and this abandoned gas station or something like that on the outskirts.

So of course the asshole businessman/politician and his musclebound goons show up. There’s all these veiled/not-so-veiled threats thrown Ryan’s way when it’s obvious he Knows Too Much.

But maybe, the asshole says. There’s a way out of this for Ryan, because the asshole businessman/politician could use resourceful people like Ryan and Michael. Just let him have Gavin and keep his secrets and he and Michael could be looking at a lucrative job offer, if Ryan knows what he means.

Gavin getting all twitchy and fidgety because it’s a good deal, and really, they’re not friends, him and Ryan and Ryan would get to live. (He wouldn’t blame Ryan at all for accepting the offer, maybe tells him with this odd little smile it’s a good deal, you know? Ryan would be a fool to turn it down.)

Ryan watching Gavin who won’t meet his eyes and of course he’s going to tell the asshole businessman/politician to go to hell – even if he hadn’t caught feelings for Gavin he would have – but Gavin seems to think he won’t, and that’s just.

Ryan doesn’t know, really, because one of the goons gets impatient and goes for Gavin and Ryan just reacts – no conscious thought to it at all – and the goon’s on the ground howling about the knife in his leg and Ryan sweeping Gavin behind him before the shooting starts.

They get pinned down and have that Intense Eye Contact Moment where they’re sure they’re about to die and ~confess their love?

But that’s when Michael and Jeremy barrel on in, driving one of Jeremy’s ridiculous Rimmy Tim-ified vehicles and maybe hitting a goon or two along the way.

More shooting and yelling, but this time the odds are more in Ryan and Gavin’s favor and by the time the smoke clears the asshole businessman/politician’s escaped and the goons he left behind are super dead.

Also, the realization they’re all fucked now, because the asshole businessman/politician is definitely going to spin things to make them the villains of the story and him as the Upstanding Citizen most people know him as and, wow, okay, not cool?

But whatever because Ryan and Gavin are being totally obvious about their mutual feelings to the point Jeremy who doesn’t even know them can see it. (And he’s an idiot, as Michael can attest to. Like. Christ, it took forever for Jeremy to realize Michael was flirting with him and they were living together for months before the asshole caught on to the fact they were dating??? Like fucking Christ, what is Michael’s life???)

They end up having to ~go underground in Los Santos to avoid being murderized by various peoples, and people think they’re just another gang/crew in the city so why the hell not live it up, or something.

Hitting back at the businessman/politician by going after his ~unsavory allies and from the outside it looks like any other criminal squabbles, you know?

Rimmy Tim was a joke, but it becomes Jeremy’s Thing. Mogar happens when Michael picks up the leather jacket with the snarling wolf’s head at a thrift shop and someone asks him a dumb question and things go from there.

Gavin is just. He makes the most of being a little shit, and everyone despairs of the day he and Matt meet properly because oh, God, no.

Ryan embraces the stupid skull mask because Michael still won’t leave it alone (and also keeps people from recognizing him). Gavin’s the one with the idea for the face paint, some stupid joke that suddenly wasn’t one day.

(And oh God. Gavin being the one to do his face paint that first time, before they got their shit together and the intimacy of being that close to one another and touching Ryan’s face? Getting him to turn his head for a better angle to work with using a light press of his fingers and sudden awareness of everything about something like that and FEELINGS and maybe, maybe, that’s the first time they kiss?

OR.

Some awkward throat clearing and eyes being averted with all the !!! of realizing the oh, no he’s hot thing is NOT going to go away anytime soon, what do???)

At some point Geoff and Jack and the people they stole away from Burnie and the Roosters happen and they join forces because wouldn’t you know it? Part of the reason Geoff and Jack and everyone they brought with them are even in Los Santos has to do with the asshole businessman/politician.

Bastard making a grab for Rooster-held territory and/or interests to the point they felt they needed more of a presence in the city, which is where the Fake AH Crew comes in.

And then just.

A lot of shenanigans and assholes getting along too fucking well for anyone’s peace of mind?

Also, also.

Ryan and Gavin finally getting their shit together and smooching the fuck out of each other. (Maybe there’s one close call too many, or Pretend Married for a job, or just. Absent-minded kiss and then the !!! and following panic before they’re like.

WAIT.

Realize they’re basically an old married couple at this point and are like >:((((((((((((( at all the time they wasted when they could have been smooching and so on instead and decide to make up for it.

(The others go from being amused to exasperated to annoyed as fuck in quick succession because goddamn they’re the worst, okay. Sappy motherfuckers who are also assholes and do what they can to make everyone’s life a misery, sometimes even intentionally.)

#ragehappy #freewood #jeremichael (background)#techncially not a fic #vagrant fic #prompt fills #long post #Anonymous

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imaginesforthosewhoseekthem · 4 years

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Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at.

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned.

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you.

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late.

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears.

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now.

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up.

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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daughters-and-winsisters · 5 years

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You placed the book back on the table, leaning back in your chair and letting out a deep sigh. Your eyes glanced over to Jack who was reading through the lore books intently, scanning the pages like there'd be an exam at the end. "Jack." You said, trying to tear him away from the books. He didn't even stir. "Jack." You said, only louder. His head began to turn, his eyes catching up as he finished the page, "Yes?" "We should do something fun." You stated. "What do you mean?" He asked, making you laugh. "I mean, you've never experienced normal teenage stuff. I know you can't exactly go to school, but you can do all the other stuff. You're living the dream of every teenager ever and you don't even know it. So I'm gonna show you what it's like to be a normal teen. What do you wanna do first?" Jack leaned back in his chair in thought before looking directly at you and proudly suggesting, "Homework." You slumped in the chair next to him, "You what?" "You said I've never experienced normal teenage things, like homework." "Okay, Jack. I meant fun things, if I wanted to do homework I'd just go help Sam out." "Oh..." "Tell you what, next time I get a piece of homework, you can try and help me, alright?" Jack's eyes lit up and he smiled, "Okay!" "But in the mean time..." You scanned the room, realising there was nothing but books and empty beer bottles, "come on." You said. He watched you stand up from your chair and put your jacket on."Where are we going?" He asked, still not putting the book down. Frowning, you closed the book for him and put it on the coffee table. "We're gonna go out, we're gonna find fun things to do, and we're gonna enjoy it!" You smiled, holding your hand out for him to take. Jack hesitated a little, but took it, allowing you to drag him up the steps of the bunker.

When you got on the bus into town Jack wouldn’t stop asking questions. “Aren’t we supposed to be researching? Sam said we have to know as much as we can about all the different monsters out there." "Jack!" You hissed, aware others could hear what he was saying. "Oh...sorry...but shouldn't we be training at least?" "There is nothing wrong with taking a break." You insisted. You felt sorry for him, he was technically two years old, but is appearance made him seem like a twenty-something year old with no life experience. Jack was practically a brother to you and you felt as though you owed him a good time as a teenager, rather than as a Hunter. "A break. You mean like watching Netflix?" Jack tilted his head a little, making him look almost like a puppy. "No no no. Don't get me wrong, Netflix is a Godsend, but I mean legit fun things. The adventure starts here." You grinned at him, pressing the bell for the bus to stop and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. Jack smiled and followed after you.

Hours later, after racing around town, going in every shop and down every alleyway and over every bridge, you both ended up at the mini golf place. You were winning, but decided to "miss" a few shots to make the game more of a competition. Jack took his turn, taking a moment to look around at all the different people there were. A family of three, another of eight, a couple, a group of friends and a guy on his own who seemed to be having the most fun out of anyone. "Thank you, Y/N." Jack smiled, making you smile back. "You having fun then?" You chuckled. "I am!" He grinned, "I didn't know there were so many different types of coffee...and the fairground rides that looked like deathtraps were surprisingly fun!" You laughed, remembering how hard it was to drag him on The Waltzers. "Okay, after this, we can do the ultimate teenage move." "Which is what?" He asked, handing you your golf club. You took a step forward, lining up your shot before putting. The ball rolled into the hole and you smiled, looking at Jack, "Duh, a house party! A friend from schools having one tonight while her parents are away and she said I can bring whoever." Jack looked reluctant. "Come on, Jack. It'll be fun! I won't force you to go, but there's nothing scary about them, I promise. It wont' be that many people, anyway." "Alright." "Oh!" You added, "And don't tell Sam and Dean it's a house party. They'll freak." "You mean...lie to them?" "Not exactly...just don't tell them everything."

"Where have you guys been?" Dean asked as you and Jack headed down the steps."We had an awesome day!" Jack said, not exactly answering Dean's question. "You did?" Sam asked, glancing at you.Jack was eager to recite your day in great detail to your brothers, making them smile proudly at you. "I'm knackered though," You said, grabbing an apple, "gonna head to bed. Oh, I found a case by the way. I'll send you the article, Sammy." You eyed Jack, shooting him a wink. "Yeah, sounds good." Sam nodded, "Night, bug." "Night, kiddo." Dean called as you turned the corridor to your bedroom.

The moment you were in you started looking through your clothes for an outfit. It was rare you had a chance to dress-up, having to always dress practically. You weren't exactly the most "girliest" of girls, but you still enjoyed the occasional chance to do your hair and makeup and rock an outfit that didn't make you look like a lumberjack.

Almost half an hour later, you had an outfit ready laid out on your bed. Seconds away from doing your makeup, you heard a loud shout."Y/N!" It was Dean. He sounded mad. "Shit..." You huffed, putting your cleanser back on your desk. This was not going to go well.

Reluctantly, you trudged to wear your brothers were waiting. Deans face had rage written all over it, whereas Sam’s was more concerned about what Dean would say to you, let alone anything else. “You wanna know something funny?” Dean snarled, kicking a chair out for you. You sat and said nothing.“Jack,” Dean continued, “seems to think that you’re both going to a party.” You glanced at Sam who didn’t show any sign of helping you. “De-“ “And that’s not all!” Dean cut you off, “He also seems to think that this hunt of yours is a way to get us out for the night. Now why might he think that?” He leaned forward, his brows raising to a sly smirk. You sunk into your chair, not sure what to say. “Y/N,” Sam’s voice was softer than Deans, but somehow carried a similar angry tone, “it’s different for you two. I mean, you’re hunters. And Jack’s not even human. You have to think about these things. You’re smarter than that, sweetheart.“ “Yeah but we’re not just hunters,” You looked your brothers in the eye, “Jack doesn’t know what it’s like to be normal! And yeah maybe i don’t know what it’s like to be unaware of the things that are out there, but I know how to be a teenager and Jack wanted to do something fun for a change!” Your shout made the brothers share a look. You whispered, “He was happy. I was happy. We felt normal. Why’s that so bad?” “Because you wanted to send us away on some wild goose chase so that you could go to some stupid house house party!” Dean snapped. “It’s not stupid to want to be normal!” You shouted back, standing up from the chair, “The only reason I didn’t ask was because i knew you’d both say no! So excuse me for trying to show my brother what it’s like to have fun! I just wanted Jack to feel as normal as he could because I know what it’s like to feel different...”

Dean’s face had dropped during your speech and Sam had gone quiet. Neither knew what to say. “You can’t go,” Dean said firmly, “but next time I’ll consider it. If. IF. You ask us first.” You smiled, “Thanks, De.” “Y/N we want you to have a normal life, but it’s difficult with what we do.” Sam smiles softly.“I know, Sammy. And for what it’s worth? I wouldn’t trade this life for a normal one.” “Hey, kid,” Dean started, “I’ve never seen Jack so excited to be normal. So keep doing what you’re doing, just less of this kind of crap and more mini golf.” You chuckled and thought about whether or not Jack was in trouble. “Are you gonna shout at Jack?” You asked. “Already have,” Dean huffed, “but believe me you’re in more trouble than he is.” “Yeah yeah, alright.” You swatted him away and left for your room.

“Y/N?” Jack asked, peering from behind your door. “Hey,” You smiled, “they broke you, huh?” “I’m sorry I told them. I got really excited and I’m not used to lying to Sam and Dean. I’m sorry I ruined it. I guess I’m not cut out to be a proper teenager.” “Are you kidding? Jack we did the most teenage thing possible.” “We did?” “Yeah!” “What’s that?” You grinned. “We got into trouble.”

I do not own these gifs Masterlist

Requested by anon Request: How about a headcanon with the reader trying to get Jack to experience teenage life: normal teenage things: partying, naps, homework, mini gold, legit fun things! And Sam and Dean (brothers) are just looking on really proud Okay okay I know this was a headcanon request but I loved the idea so I turned it into a written fic, I hope that’s okay!

(Tags after cut)

@nnoxygen @summerbee53 @lil-sister-winchester @itsrainbowunicornstuff @graceless-dragon @iamflanneltrash @clairedelalune @winchester-2301 @lavender-winchester @anarahma @mariahoedt @shewhoscreamssilently @livelikeawinchester @metaphysicalmisha @storyofawinchester @fandomsstolemylife00 @griff1ndor @mollykmccarthy @27bmm @archangelsandwarlocks @bea789 @imprettycool-i-guess @lovelife-tothefullest @jayankles @seninjakitey @stressedoutkitten @juneinthered @thyotakukimkim @susan-is-in-the-house @fountain-pen-of-youth @analisespn

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atopearth · 4 years

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Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 4 - The Intervention of Fate (Ch 15-18) + Overall Review

Seeing the destruction of Sector 7 alongside the sunset was really beautifully saddening. It’s devastating for Tifa and Barret to have to look over it all knowing that their actions caused this. Even if Shinra framed them for it, even if Shinra were the bad guys who killed all these people and everyone’s homes, there’s no doubt that what Tifa and Barret did ended up pushing them into doing this, and it’s hard to have to carry such a burden. On another note, I never thought I would complain about this because I loved the shipping fanservice in the beginning, but can we please calm down with the amount of times Cloud has to hold and save Tifa in some way?! Yes, I like Tifa too, but I’m not sure if there was a battle or scene where Cloud did not save Tifa/Aerith or hold their hand or something. Like yes it’s nice to see, but it’s honestly too much, I’m dying. I feel like a lot of the time it’s pushing the romance more than anything and it kills me because the original prioritised telling the story. And honestly, if you think about it, it’s kinda weird, they make it seem like Tifa and Cloud are really close friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time, but in reality they’re practically strangers in a sense because when they were children, Tifa never really thought much of him, the only time something about Cloud resonated with her was when he told her he was leaving to go become a SOLDIER and probably when he came to her rescue (fulfilling their promise) when Sephiroth slashed her. And it was only after she received letters from Cloud after he joined Shinra that she began to notice him more, so honestly, if we’re to be picky, this was supposed to be a more awkward period between Cloud and Tifa because Tifa liked and cared about him, but she didn’t know how to show it properly since Cloud always liked her but she never really cared. Whereas for Cloud, his memories are jumbled, so he’s awkward with her for a different reason lol. Anyway, I think I would have just liked more tension between their relationship? Because right now, it just feels like everyone loves Cloud because he’s cold but soft on the inside, so he’s a great cinnamon roll or whatever, but it really doesn’t show the depth to their characters and their relationships. I’m starting to think this remake is really just fanservice for old FFVII fans rather than a proper retelling. I mean, I’ll still like it, but it’s just a bit sad.

Well, Shinra Company is fancy. Tifa jumping on the lights to get the Shinra keycard was interesting but honestly tedious, I think I’ve had enough of these tbh lol. Anyway, I was going to run up the stairs in this remake, but then I realised the camera was making me feel sick so I just went back to what I did in the original; bust in the front door and go on the elevator lol. Although I have to say, I honestly enjoyed the original more where it had more of the feel where we’re busting in from the front door haha. That memorial museum was pretty, but honestly boring lol. Like, whyyyy is there so much maintenance going on?! I seriously thought they did a full on museum tour and I was like, that’s pretty cool, but no, I learnt basically nothing, sigh. Maybe that VR movie was cool to see, especially since it kinda explains that Ancients were the ones who discovered Mako energy and helped create materia, and I guess the graphics were pretty. But I think it felt like such a spoiler to show Sephiroth walking in the Shinra building, it just doesn’t really build any tension. I really only wanted to see the blood trail lol. Anyway, Hart is someone I don’t remember at all so I assume he’s a new character? Or is he that guy who you had to decipher those codes to or something? Haha. But anyway, I guess if he’s been changing the security camera feeds then does that mean Cloud and them won’t get locked up in a cell? Okay, the Shinra building was so… uneventful and boring lol. Like, I wasn’t exactly looking for a replica but I honestly thought it would be more…fun? It was legit so boring and so not memorable compared to the original. No code deciphering, no plate moving, no special treasure chests, no running past guards secretly, nothing! Literally just that Shinra training facility and other useless things like the museum and archives that don’t even have books to read! I think the most enjoyable thing was going around trashing the chairs everywhere because I didn’t even mean to move them, but Cloud running around just naturally destroys them lol. Yes, totally infiltrating “quietly”. But seriously, Shinra building is definitely a letdown right now. Scarlet’s ruthlessness was just...whatever too lol.

Sigh, I kinda really wanted to see the gym and the napping room lolll. I guess it was nice that we got to see them go through the air duct in the bathroom to spy on the President’s meeting, but stilllll. I mean, they didn’t even let me explore the women’s bathroom! C'mon! I don’t need this kind of realism in my game! I want to explore!! Maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself and it’ll be better.. Anyway, Hojo looks as creepy as the person that he is lmaoo, and being Reeve is suffering, considering he’s the only one that seems to care about the people. The idea of Hojo having all these monsters in his research lab is disturbing lol. I found the explanation and existence of the Whisperers…unnecessary, they’re basically things that are there to stop the party from changing the predetermined fate of this world. Like, I kinda knew already with considering where they always appeared etc but ugh. Oh well, whatever. Red XIII is pretty hot. He looks older than I thought though, he looks more like what I would expect his father to look like tbh lol, I mean Bugenhagen always said Red XIII was practically a kid in terms of his species lifespan!!

I’m sad that the Turks Theme doesn’t have that clicky sound to it that made it sound cool anymore, sigh. I’m also kindaaa disappointed that they seem to be pushing with the Turks the idea that they’re quite..nice? Like, maybe it’s just me, but despite how “cool and nice” the Turks were in the original, what I loved about them the most was their work ethic and how it’s a lot of dirty work, but it’s their job and they have a sense of pride to it. Whereas sometimes in this remake, I kinda feel like, they question their job too much when they know what it entails? Like, I really wanted to see Rude catch us in the elevator LOL. Anyway, Sephiroth appearing near Jenova and slashing the bridge they were standing on in retaliation of Cloud attacking him was interesting…not too sure what to think about it right now because it felt rather random tbh lol. I guess we are definitely not getting the jail cell time, which is more disappointing than the boring Shinra building tbh. Not only did the cell time really give you time to bond with everyone in their cells, it also really highlighted how sudden and scary it was to see a trail of blood, and all these Shinra company men’s bodies as you slowly climb the stairs to realise what happened.

Btw, lmao at Red XIII pushing down handles, it looks so awkward because it seemed like he was struggling so bad hahahah. The Drum was an annoying place, I hated changing materia around between the two parties. Like whyyy can’t I just change the whole line of weapon and armour materia (like in the original) instead of slowly doing it one by one?! Aside from that, this was a boring place too lol. I guess the only nice thing was seeing Tifa and Aerith get along so well lol. Anyway, Jenova’s blood trail was much more pretty and fascinating than ominous tbh lol, it really gives a completely different feel to the actual blood trail in the original. It’s cool in its own regards though I guess. Okayyy, wow, I’m starting to think that this is becoming pretty ridiculous. Like it was obvious Barret won’t die because you know, these Whispers know that it’s not his fate to die here, so of course they’ll somehow save him, but now it’s just silly? Like, sure it’s not his fate to die here but was Barret such a crucial person to the “fate” that can’t be changed? Anyway, so basically everything that happened in the original is probably the “fate” that must be followed, but at the same time they’re just changing up things to make it as convenient as they want to for the story. Honestly, that segment with Barret and President Shinra was so cliche, I wanted to bang my head watching it because it was so unnecessary. I think he should have just died like in the original. Like all the mental agony of saving him or not, and then President Shinra showing how much of a crap he is was just so ugh, like was that really important? What did we expect him to be like? Did we really need to see this? Even seeing the sword pierce them was so whatever at that point because I’m starting to think the story is realllyyyyyy getting “basic”. Also, showing Wedge being here but not being able to change or do anything because “he’s not a part of fate” was just ridiculous. Like seriously, we get it, don’t these Whispers have anything better to do? I mean, I really wouldn’t say that the original timeline is the best timeline to follow for this world but okay, whatever they want.

Anyway, I’m sad that Rufus doesn’t have orange hair!! Hahaha, but that’s fine, since he still looks pretty hot. I love how he still has his dog!! Rufus was so annoying though, like seriously, I’ve had enough of bosses that just counterattack you, and you have to find the exact moment for an opening to deal damage zzzz. Otherwise, it was really cool to fight Rufus, this was starting to become the only thing I was looking forward to lol. Kinda sad you don’t actually fight Arsenal(?) that robot in the elevator anymore though. The fight took so long because I didn’t realise what I was supposed to be doing lolll. Cloud is taking lessons from Roche in getting crazy with the motorbike haha, seriously though, the motorbike and the blue car is so nostalgic. I did enjoy how alike the original, if you bothered looking (well it was more obvious in the remake) you actually see the motorbike and the car in the building haha. Not sure about Cloud throwing his sword scaring off the Shinra soldiers though, like dude, your sword could have fallen out of the building! Anyway, I knew it was coming, but I honestly hoped it didn’t, and that is…the second round of the motorbike game!!! Yes, the thing I sucked at the most in the original and in this remake as well, and what do you know, they just upped the difficulty with a boss! Not gonna lie, I legit died a few times because I had no idea how I was supposed to kill him, and when I realised how to do it, my skills were lacking, so yes, it took me a while. I was pretty frustrated lol, I mean, snowboarding is my worst enemy too but I never had to do it more than once! This game is just bullying people like me who suck at this mini game, sigh T_T It is pretty cool though. HOWEVER, it would have made life much easier if Red XIII threw a potion at me whenever I was dying and not just in between the battles, sighhh~

Anyway, this whole going into another dimension that Aerith says will change the course of events where we’ll now forge our own destiny or whatever by killing the Whispers who are trying to convene fate to be as it should flow like in the original story is…weird to say the least of it. Sephiroth wasn’t too difficult to beat, but I found the whole fight in this place weird and cliche, with all the “memories” of the original timeline coming to Cloud and them, and for them to destroy all that to change their fate. Okay, Zack is alive? Like, I was kinda thinking it would be interesting and funny if Zack were to survive but hmmm, not sure what to think of it. Well, the different dog probably indicates it’s a different timeline/world but that doesn’t really stop the writers from creating a story where he can jump to their world or whatever. Biggs is alive? Is everyone alive lol? Like, I guess Cloud and everyone are planning to alter fate so ensuring everyone survives is what they want, but at the same time, I’m just baffled at this ending. I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. It really doesn’t help that the dialogue is so… bland? Useless? It’s so flowery with no substance imo. Maybe in the next part we’ll get to see Zack’s new world line from his perspective and then their worlds can connect or something lol. Anyway! I’ll say, I don’t like or dislike the ending because honestly, with all the changes that happened with the Shinra company, I already lowered my expectations to the max lol, it also helped the ending was kinda spoiled to me before I even played the game, so I knew it wouldn’t be a faithful remake, but is instead more of a FFVII-2 kinda deal. But I still find the way things played out really disjointed and cliche. The whole chapter 18 suffered the most in dialogue and story tbh, because honestly, I’m not sure if people who haven’t played the original would really get it, and would they really get the importance of Zack lol. It’s just annoying that they decided to throw all this at the end when everything else was Shinra and Shinra. And yeah, I see why they made the Aerith and Cloud “romance” so subtle you couldn’t feel anything about it, it’s probably because they want to make it more of a Aerith and Zack thing for this remake, which is understandable, but kinda saddening because that changes a lot of things in terms of how you’ll feel about it all.

Overall Review Overall, let me attempt to put together how I feel about the whole thing. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about how to write down my feelings for days or weeks but I still don’t know what to say of this disappointment LOL. Tbh, I think the thing I would have appreciated the most would be Square Enix telling me that this wouldn’t be a faithful adaptation of the original with HD graphics and extended story/scenes. Because if I didn’t have that expectation, I wouldn’t have felt as mixed about the ending as I am now. People seem to hate on people for being disappointed at expecting that it would be a faithful adaptation, but really, what did you want a lot of the old fans to expect? The game itself is riding on a nostalgia train yet it’s our fault for thinking it would be faithful? Even the Japanese commercial rode on the nostalgia train with a guy happily talking about the iconic scenes in the original and being excited that he’ll be able to experience the remake with people who don’t know it. They clearly wanted old fans to join the hype and then sucker punched them to the gut with the ending. Thankfully, I knew what was coming so I survived but honestly, aside from hopefully still getting to see other iconic scenes, I’m not really interested in how the story will play out. I hate stories involving stuff like time travel and branching timelines etc most of the time, especially when time travel is not the main focus of the story. This isn’t something like Chrono Trigger. I think my biggest problem though was that considering how much of a slow burn 80% of the game was, the fact that once we got to the Shinra building, everything just lacked detail and felt so rushed into that...ending. My biggest problem isn’t the ending itself, but how everything led to that ending, because it was really dissatisfying to watch. Like, honestly, on paper, it’s not a bad idea, it would be interesting to see how things could play out with the unknown etc, but really, the way they did it with the obnoxious Whispers throughout the story, alongside the out of nowhere ending really killed the experience.

I’m probably being whiny at this point but really, the main gripe I have with the ending is that it makes me think that the writers thought it would be “boring” to just redo the original with extended stories because “everyone knows the story already” kinda thing, and it also kinda implies as if the original was “perfect as it is”, which I honestly have to disagree with. I love the original FFVII but honestly, a lot of things could have been told better without feeling as disjointed as some things were, like it was nice to uncover bits and pieces etc, but a lot of things also relied on you yourself to find it, so it’s easy to miss things. For example, without a walkthrough, I honestly didn’t realise there was that scene in the Shinra mansion where you could actually see Zack die. I also feel like integrating Yuffie and Vincent in the story more would have been something good to focus on in the original because Wutai is important, the Lucrecia, Hojo and Vincent story is important, but because they were optional, it wasn’t always something people found. I just feel like for the story FFVII is, it was really unnecessary to make it more convoluted than it is, because now it’s just detracting from what made this game good. Like, maybe it might be interesting with this time travel stuff, but at the same time, this isn’t really FFVII anymore, all it has is iconic scenes in HD as fanservice. Which kinda makes me mad, because they so blatantly shove in your face FFVII fanservice for like 90% of the game and then they just show this ending, like okay. I’m not even sure the Weapons are that important anymore because who needs them to come out to protect the planet if the Whispers (like really, are they even dead?) are around? It’s just the stakes for everything have become so high where it’s involving fate and time travel etc. what is the point of the stuff that are limited to being inside this planet that is being controlled by the Whispers of fate? Well, whatever, I could complain all day here and I would still feel dissatisfied.

Anyway, nevertheless, I still enjoyed most of the game. I had my gripes here and there with the changes, but most of it was done really well, and I still liked it a lot. I mean, Wall Market is so beautiful and went beyond my expectations! The detail they put into the graphics and stuff really blew me away and I couldn’t stop taking screenshots. I also liked how they made Avalanche a bit more personal to Cloud. Although I really enjoyed seeing Aerith, Tifa and Cloud fanservice though, sometimes I felt like the scenes were just that, like just fanservice and it kinda got tedious. The side quests throughout the game were also quite boring imo. Like, I don’t expect anything groundbreaking from them, but they were really boring story wise and gameplay wise. The “puzzles” such as climbing across on those hand bars were so tedious and slow, I was annoyed lol, it’s so clunky to do! I’ll take the stupid crane any day. And the battle AI kills me. I know you’re supposed to swap between characters to build up ATB but man would I appreciate if the ATB charged up faster or if the AI wasn’t so useless. Barret not doing his job shooting sentry turrets and Tifa guarding against enemies not attacking her from ten miles away made me want to strangle someone. Like, it’s not terrible, but it definitely wasn’t enjoyable enough for me to care about playing hard mode. Lol, I’m back to complaining, but honestly, if I played the remake without knowing the original, aside from the graphics, I’m not sure if I was really into the story at all. Not saying it’s bad, but Midgar was always kinda like the beginning of the beginning so it’s really not that interesting in itself, and the bland story telling didn’t help imo, I guess the good thing was that it solidified everyone’s relationships? Anyway, I’ll still play the other parts because it’s FFVII but I think if it becomes something like Lightning Returns etc, I really just might drop it. For now, I’ll just go along with the ride, right now, things are just a 7/10~

P.S I think what I’m most sad about right now is that I won’t have the same feelings I had when I bought the remake. Since I live in Australia, the copies were sold before April 10th, so really, I cancelled my pre-order and went to the store and bought it myself after work. I was really excited to have it and get to play it because even though a lot of the things weren’t the same, it felt really nice to relive that experience of joining Cloud and them on their journey again. I really liked it and thought the reinterpretation to fit the more serious mood and everything was nice, but I’m honestly disappointed that I won’t be as excited to continue the journey in the next part. It’s the first time in a long time since I felt so excited for a game to come out, so it’s saddening, but I guess this is what it is.

#final fantasy vii remake #ffvii remake #ffvii

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eisforeidolon · 4 years

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Episode: Raising Hell

So, uh, basically I have no idea why anything in this episode happens or what its point is supposed to be. Having looked up who wrote it somewhere in the middle, I am completely lacking in surprise.

I mean, the first bit pretty much sets the tone. Chatty Corpsy spouts exposition a mile a minute, then gets killed, and the ghost stands over her and spells disembowel. Is that actually supposed to be scary? Funny? Anything but an absolutely bizarre waste of my time?

A bunch of dudes with basically nothing but FBI jackets and a bullshit story to back themselves up with convince an entire town to camp out in the local high school for two days without anybody figuring out they're full of shit. You know, what with smartphones existing and all. Plausible!

Furthermore, I have become convinced that everyone in this writer's room genuinely believes there is nothing scarier than a bunch of random antagonists standing around in a room pontificating at each other. It's all demons do anymore. It's all angels do anymore. Oh, fucking look, here's a bunch of goddamn ghosts doing it, too! A fucking thrill a minute, I tell you.

Also, you know how the episode with H.H. Holmes was actually scary? Whether or not you think it's in questionable taste for them to use real life serial killers at all, the reason they included him was because the whole murder castle deal and semi-mythical legends about him made for a scary premise they actually used in the episode. I ignored the thing with it being Gacy before in Lebanon because there was more important stuff going on, but contrast the current writers' choices with him and this Jack the Ripper guy with the use of Holmes. Here they're just throwing out the names of real life murderers to try and make their villains scary in the cheapest, fastest way possible. Just like bringing back “Bloody Mary” that just kills whoever, this loudmouthed windbag has nothing to do with the name they're stealing to try and make him scary.

Also, the spell demon guy did is keeping the ghosts in, right? Sure, it's going to fail, but at the moment, it's supposed to be an impassible barrier, yes? So why, exactly, is it necessary for Sam to call in his goon squad to join the four of them in wandering into the danger zone to shoot at 'em? Seriously, why? Shooting them dissipates them for a few seconds, maybe minutes. They’re not laying out additional salt or iron lines or doing anything that might genuinely help contain the ghosts, they’re just putting themselves in danger because ...? The mooks could also be better spent guarding the major entrance points to the town and/or the townies and/or doing research back at the bunker into what they're going to try next after the barrier fails. But those things would actually make sense and prevent the shambling zombie that is the writers’ pathetic attempt at a plot in this episode being pushed into something vaguely resembling action.

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Rowena is now suddenly unable to do something with her powers that she did before. Hey, remember when she stole that page out of the damned book to make herself more powerful to unseal her full powers (even though they touted her as the most powerful witch ever to begin with) and that was in season 13, well after the ghost-crystal-bomb thing? But LOL, now she's even weaker? This is exactly why nothing matters anymore. Things that worked previously (angel powers, witch powers, the Colt, whatever) suddenly and randomly don't work to do the exact same jobs for … reasons. The thing that makes it even dumber is they could have said that the ghost containing spell and crystal ghost sucking spell interfered with each other somehow. Still at a bullshit level of convenience, but it doesn't involve making everyone and everything's powers completely arbitrary just because fuck continuity, that’s why!

Then Ketch shows up to save the Winchesters from their sudden attack of brain damage. The show has provided an entire. fucking. town. full of angry ghosts straight from hell. But actually bother to write a scene of Sam and Dean legit getting over their heads in a believable way? Why fucking bother when you can just make them astoundingly incompetent. It is literally unbelievable that Sam and Dean would not recognize those people as possessed fucking immediately. Yet they stand there with rock salt filled shotguns doing sweet fuckall confronted by three fucking ghosts so Ketch can make a big entrance. Is there a rule on a board somewhere in the writer's room that Sam and Dean have to be made to look incompetent at least once an episode? Is this some kind of revenge for having to still write the main characters they're so clearly bored with? Are these idiots just so fucking stupid they don't realize how insulting this is? Did they run out of money for extras and the stunt coordinator?

Also, someone explain to me how tiny flakes of metal are going to be less harmful to a human body than rock salt. I'll wait. They just really really wanted Ketch as one of the BMoL guys to have some kind of specialized gadget but couldn’t give him something actually potentially useful for the situation at hand.

Again, these writers really want to be writing a bad soap opera with occasional supernatural elements. So despite that it's the final fucking season, we have time for Rowena and Ketch flirting. Not to mention that they also give the only major female character even more relationship drama with the Jack the Ripper guy later. If it's not questionably skeevy, it's not Bucklemming!

Also, Castiel is not good at inspirational speeches, just like he’s frustratingly almost never good at anything else these days (those healing powers that were working last week? ha! forget it!). Anyway, why do they keep having him make them? Are we as the audience supposed to find them convincing though they never work on the target? Are we supposed to feel bad for all the ~*feelings*~ Castiel supposedly has despite being an angel who isn’t supposed to have emotions the same way humans do? I guess this particular one is to further show that Dean’s still mad (which I am absolutely 100% behind) but eh, whatever. Though I guess that still ranks it above most of the episode sitting at a solid WTF, no really, WTF?!

Now we get to the part where they bring Kevin back for no fucking reason beyond that he's a “fan favorite”. None of it makes a single tiny speck of sense. Let's skip right past the fundamental absurdity of how Chuck apparently did this for literally no reason just to be a dick when he was actively trying to pretend not to be a dick. Kevin has a “bad boy” reputation (come the fuck on) because God Himself cast him down - so him being in hell would have to be fairly common knowledge, for it to result in him having a reputation. Except literally no demon Sam & Dean ran into between 11.21 and now taunted them with it? Crowley, who was still alive and fucking King of Hell through season 12 never noticed and either told the Winchesters or tried to trade on it? BULL and SHIT. This is pretty close to the same scale of insult to continuity and the audience’s intelligence as these two fuckwits suddenly writing Lucifer as the older brother.

Then in typical fashion, Sam & Dean discuss their plans to totes send Kevin to heaven in front of demon guy just so they can be told OH NOES! He totally can't go to heaven! So sad! The poor widdle woobie! Fuck off with this shit, show. Not even to mention that they take the word of a demon as gospel truth when there is no time crunch or clear lack of better options. It's all those many many hits to the head, I guess. That I do actually find quite sad. I mean, I don't actually want Kevin hanging around like a bad smell while they divert from actually important shit to try and get him to heaven where it makes no sense for him not to already be. But at the end they don't even arrange some way to keep in touch just in case the fucking demon might be (gasp) lying?

Hey, I did actually like the exchange between Dean and Sam over Chuck poking his corresponding wound. Oh, look, it's Sam's “I'm totally lying” face, followed by Dean's “I totally know you're lying but I'll let it go for now, Sam” face. It was a great moment that required very little dialogue to work quite well. It's such a shame nobody's making a show about these two characters! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The absurdity keeps on coming, too. In the whole two days they've been wasting time in Sunshine Daylightville they never discussed how long the spell would last? Oh, right, they were too busy wandering into the ghost zone to shoot at 'em for shits and giggles to care about that, I guess. Not to mention the whole “just cast it again!” is remarkably blasé about it requiring a 'fresher the better!' human heart.

More ghosts blathering at each other. Yay. This supposed Jack the Ripper guy is just always in the right place at the right time to hear all the gossip, knows every random thing he could possibly need to, and already has the power to intimidate and attack other ghosts. He's basically ghost!Asmodeus, who also steals AU!Michael's original idea of how to get through the barrier, because we really needed time spent discussing the world's most obvious plan. Also, we've seen ghosts able to attack and absorb the power of other ghosts, but it was because they had already been doing it for a while. This guy is just as fresh out of hell as everybody else, but he's more powerful and knowledgeable and totes threatening!!! Well, I'm convinced and not on the verge of napping from boredom.

Naturally for reasons, Rowena goes into town entirely by herself without protection with their only real hope of containing the ghosts before the barrier breaks down instead of anybody insisting on her going with backup. That's what anybody with a brain would do!

Of course no one asks where Ketch has been the whole time. Or even thinks of trying to test him after he was last seen literally knocked unconscious in the middle of ghost central where we know there are plenty of ghosts angry enough to be capable of possession. Nope, why would anyone even think to do that? Everything in this “plot” that happens requires all of the characters to be completely fucking stupid.

I'm going to assume by “you” Ketch meant “you Winchesters” because Mary wasn't there. It probably didn't, because Bucklemming, but fuck it. It's the least egregious stupidity in this episode that's a cornucopia of choices for the worst.

I … actually like the scenes with Chuck and Amara? So, you know, that's something!

Then the episode ends with the guys looking at all the ghosties still shooting up from hell and wring their hands about what they're going to do and maybe they should get on that! Again, if Sam's flunkies aren't all dead, why aren't their worthless asses already researching this shit over the past two days? It's not like it's new news that there was a big open hole to hell at the center of the problem and there was honestly nothing but wrangling some cranky civilians to interfere with trying to think ahead to that.

In summary, this episode is a constant showcase of the problems that result when you set incompetent morons who don't recognize their own inadequacy to write characters who are actually supposed to be intelligent experts at their work. It's a joke – except not at all funny.

#writer incompetence #anti bucklemming #negativity for ts #negativity all the way down #long post #spn 15x02 #spn season 15

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letgolovemyself · 3 years

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Solo trip

A year ago, you left me because I couldn’t be alone. That is the number one thing I struggled with. I kept friends because I didn’t want to be alone, and most importantly, I begged for your nonexistent love and cried myself to sleep while you slept peacefully, because I couldn’t be alone. But I did it, and I remember Justine’s excitement when I told her I was going on a two-week trip alone. Then I realized, it is a big deal, it is massive deal that I am willing to do the things I loved doing with you, but alone.

The night before I went, I was very nervous. I had obviously, never traveled alone, and I was scared for all the small mishaps that derail every perfect trip. I was financially ready, which I never have been before, and I packed two bags, and I went alone. (pics to follow)

I landed in LA, I got my rental car, and I drove to Malibu, alone, because I was supposed to go with this girl Tori, from tiktok, but she is a bum and I don’t need anyone to have a good time. I got food, sat on the beach, watched some TV, and then I drove to Matador Beach in Malibu on the cliffs and I wrote a letter to my ex with the intention of letting it go. I wrote it down, I crumpled it up, and I tossed it in the Pacific Ocean, with every intention of our memories following it. It didn’t.

The next day, I woke up, went to Venice Beach and took some really bad self timed pictures of myself and then laid on the beach for a little then got an overpriced lunch nearby. I took photos on my disposable to capture these moments. Plz develop them. Later that day, I went back to the Airbnb, made myself a bath, ate some InNOut, and drank some wine. I got ready, and I went to see Gravedgr in LA by myself. I tried to be social and talk to strangers but most of them weren’t about it and I eventually met some cool people and I was in the front for it, we had a great time but I didn’t really like the music.

The day after, I went to stay at a different Airbnb with other Tiktok girls, the ones from the yacht. They were mostly cool besides Jasmin, who was fucking weird and didn’t talk to any of us. Probably because she’s 19 and has no idea who the fuck she is. I had a great time on the yacht, met some cool girls like Abbie, who’s coming to visit me, and I did have a good time. We went back to the house and I said wake me up when you’re ready to go to the bar, but Jasmin didn’t, and I got so mad because she’s a basic bitch and I ended up leaving to stay at a seady motel cause of my pride, but I stole a handle of Patron to give Jerimy.

The next day, I drove from Long Beach to Monterey after I picked up my rental Nissan Rogue that I legit waited 45 minutes for. The drive from LB to Malibu was two hours, but everything after was pretty solid. I was very sad that day because I had so much shame over the night before, and I so badly wanted to experience this whole adventure with someone else. For a quarter of my life, I experienced all these amazing trips and adventures with someone by my side. But what I didn’t think at the time was, I planned all those trips, all the hotels, all the stops, all the day trips, I planned that. It wasn’t that romantic afterall. Not that I’d ever let anyone plan my trips, I am such a virgo and plan way too much not to check someone’s plans.

I stopped in Santa Barbara, got Chipotle, and sat at a small beach with little kids birthday parties around me, ate, and watched TV, got in my car, and continued driving.

That day, I think I learned a lot. Something was very triggering to me about hotel rooms, mostly because I associate them with that time when I was driving to FL, in FL, and driving back. All those empty hotel rooms, for the first time, talking to someone who did not want me, it was very triggering. I wore a two piece swim suit for the first time in my life, at 190 pounds.

I learned that, life is very beautiful on your own. You don’t have time to take in a lot of the most beautiful things because you’re so attached with experiencing it with someone else, but it is nonetheless so amazing. I didn’t even plan on stopping at Ragged Point because I figured I wouldn’t make all the stops in time, but I’m so glad I did. It was freezing, I was in shorts and a sweatshirt. Standing on the side of that mountain felt like the most freeing moment of my life. I was by myself, I did this drive that I found so scary, and I stared at the ocean, thousands of feet below me, and for the first time, it felt like there was so much to experience just by yourself. When you’re with someone and in love, it feels like every moment you experience, especially the great ones, they’re clouded by them and not the experience. But when it’s just you, it’s just the experience. You, who never traveled alone, standing by themselves, side of the coast and the ocean, wind in your face, disposable camera in one hand, looking at how far you had to come to get to this place in life. To be standing there alone, on what feels like the edge of the world, just so grateful to be here and be alive, so grateful that you did make it this far. That was the peak of my trip. Standing there at Ragged Point, looking at this vast space beyond me, just me, it felt like I was flying by myself, like I was not a part of this world. like I had found someway to find peace after a year of the most sadness.

We can skip forward to CO, because the rest of the CA trip wasn’t the greatest. I’ll touch on it quickly. Being with Jordan in SF was an eye opener as to how much I disrespected myself in the past, let anyone touch me, let anyone do whatever because I was so numb, I think I found a new respect for myself, boundaries, and how not to make myself feel like shit.

Let’s skip to CO. I was in Denver a night by myself. I almost missed my flight because the traffic and accidents were so bad. I got to the airport at 9:40, and boarding started at 10:05. I got to the gate right before my seat range started boarding. It was a very solumn experience to be in Denver without my ex. We had been there two times before, so I felt like so much of Denver had been explored, and I did not want to reexperience it. I went to the rooftop pool, briefly, and then I ordered food and watched KUWTK until I eventually fell asleep. I had plans of going out, but I really didn’t want to be around Denver and single, when some of my favorite memories were there with ex. That’s why LA and SF were so great, they weren’t things I did with him really. I didn’t go to Santa Monica because I did that with him. I wanted to do things on my own I had not done before.

Ironically, the next day, I met up with Judy from the Zeds Dead family, one of the girls in our Airbnb. We went to Pete’s Kitchen, which I was 100% all for because the food is amazing, and I didn’t think once or look behind and think, that’s the booth my ex and I sat at. We even went to Good Chemistry, and I didn’t let it get the best of me. We went to Ten Barrrel and those were the best beers we had, but we also went to First Draft, which was kind of strange because I’d done that twice before. Then we eventually took an uber back to the Airbnb in Morrison.

Zeds Dead at Red Rocks was a dream come true. The literal best venue of all time, I went alone, did not know anyone in our Airbnb and it was definitely one of the best weekends of my life. I know that I am always a vibe, but I got along well with everyone, Panda looks just like Sam, Justin was so kind to book it all for us, it was an amazing time. We stood in line and cut so we could get first dibs on merch on Friday. The dude only charged me for one merch piece and I got my favorite sweatshirt of all time for free, he only charged for the jersey, which is also 1/200 copies. We were front row for two days of Zeds Dead, like my literal favorite artist, I knew almost every song they played, Blunts and Blondes played, I missed Jaenga, but whatever.

On the first night of Deadrocks, I remember standing there legit smiling ear to ear for an entire 5 hours because I was just so happy to be doing this thing I love, listening to my favorite music, basically by myself, just vibing. In that moment, I knew no one could take away my happy place. Not one person. And I am still scared to possibly run into ex at Ezoo, but I know that I will not stop my life because I am scared. This is the most happy I can be, just alone, eyes closed, listening to that wub wub, feeling the base, no better place. No one can take that from me.

I learned so much this trip, but mostly I learned a lot about how much I should, and strive, to love myself. I am my own true best friend. And sometimes I get sad because everyone has these best friends and what not. I know that I have maintained some of my long term friendships over years. I also know I have lost a lot of close friends. As I continue to evolve, become a better version of myself, I know I will not always relate to the friends I had in previous versions of my life. But this trip truly brought me the confidence and peace I needed.

Conclusion: I am not a bad person, I have done bad things that I am not proud of, but I am to the core a very good person. I can stand alone, and I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m good to know that I am. I will not settle for friendships or relationships that do not reflect my energy or self love. I will not settle for people that make me feel bad or ridicule me, or bring up versions of myself that I no longer relate to. I am whole. I am getting there but I am whole. No one can give me something I do not have alone. I am not scared to be vulnerable with myself, I am always honest with myself, maybe too much, but I am. I am always growing, always reflecting, always healing. And I will continue doing so because I no longer want to live in the prison that is my mind. I am ready to continue building a beautiful, abundant, healing life for myself. And I will take anything out that takes away from my peace and my healing.

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raspberrybitters · 6 years

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Bored on Caturday 💀

(I'd spare you with a "read more" but I'm limited to a phone right now.)

Eating Disorder Questions

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have? EDNOS/I don't care/I'm very good at restricting lately

2. when did you develop your eating disorder? UH, embarrassingly long ago. Like, so long ago I can't remember. I feel like a grandma. I was somewhere around 11, and I remember it basically spurred from reading the American Girl "Body Book" chapter on eating disorders. I remember it said that people with anorexia get very thin, but they don't see themselves that way, and I thought, "I don't care what I see when I look in the mirror, but I do want OTHER people to think I'm skinny." Oh, sweet naivete!

3. are you currently in recovery? No.

4. honestly, do you want to recover? I am overly optimistic and I really think I can have a low weight and a normal mindset at the same time.

6. 5 safe foods? Pickled ginger, pickled radish, hard-boiled egg whites... Uh... Uhhhh... Uh...

7. 5 fear foods? I think bagels qualify at this point, but I have always forced myself to eat fear foods and just restrict for the rest of the day if it's high calorie. The idea is to minimize being nuts as much as possible.

8. do you count calories? Loosely.

9. what is your max calorie limit? 1,000, sort of.

12. are you trying to lose weight? Yep.

13. have you ever been called “fat”? Yep.

15. what is your current goal weight? I'd like to get back to my low weight of 90 in the immediate future and then maybe lose two more pounds.

16. what was your highest weight? 123 😱

17. what was your lowest weight? As an adult it was 90 pounds.

18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight? Meh. Yes and no. Back then was a weird time.

21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder? I will never not be weird about food. I don't really know what life is like without trying to change my weight.

23. how often do you weigh yourself? All the damn time.

24. thinspo or bonespo? I prefer thinspo because I don't like my behavior when I obsess over bones.

25. biggest problem area on your body? All of it.

26. favourite part of your body? I actually have perfect boobs at any weight I've been.

27. what kind of results do you want to see? I just want to look the way I like looking. Ah, and my face needs to get sharper. My face gets very bloated from weight gain.

28. do you purge? No.

29. do you take laxatives? I was a legit laxative addict from age 13 to about 20, but I'm more or less reformed. I haven't taken them in 2 weeks now.

30. how often do you purge? Zero times a day.

31. do you binge? Yeah, but not lately.

32. how long have you fasted for? I think 48 hours was my longest one, but I don't really care anymore because I'm not tryna faint when I'm out in my life.

33. who’s your biggest thinspiration? Myself when I was thinner tbh

34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary? I don't really like those.

35. favourite thinspo picture? I'm on mobile so emmmm

36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body? NOT NOW. Holy shit, I'm so big. I don't know how anyone lives like this.

37. how does your eating disorder affect your life? When it gets bad, it is truly isolating. I don't want to be around friends, I can't understand normal people problems (because all I care about is one thing!), and I feel lonely. I try to minimize the isolating part as much as I can, but I know it's not possible to do so 100%.

39. do you follow a diet? No, I hate planning things.

41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships? Yep.

42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it? Various thicker soups. Chicken and rice.

43. meanspo or sweetspo? I do not understand the appeal of either tbh.

44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder? Yeah.

45. ever been inpatient? Yeah, as a kid though.

46. ever been outpatient? I've never had to do daily trips to a clinic, but I've seen therapists for my eating disorder while not living in a facility.

47. ever been in residential care? Wait, isn't that inpatient?

48. ever been in a psych ward? My inpatient was a psych ward. It wasn't a special ED only place.

49. are you currently in therapy? No.

50. what did you eat today? Half an order of French toast lol ty boyfriend

51. are you scared about the holidays? I was, but I proved to myself that I can be around tons of food and not binge over the past couple of days.

52. are your family/friends supportive? My close friends and family, yeah. I accidentally told a friend I'm not super close to about how I cried over the bagel I had to throw out and he was just like "🙃 what? Love yourself girl!!!" and I didn't even try to explain that I couldn't choose to eat the bagel out of "loving myself." Not eating it did not feel like deprivation. It felt like relief, but my logical mind knows that's scary.

53. have any other mental illnesses? I have really bad anxiety, but I'm on meds for it! It used to convince me I wasn't a real person and I felt like everyone around me was basically an NPC. Even though I knew it wasn't true, I was gripped with fear about it 24/7.

54. looking for ana buddies? I... Don't know? I like friends. Be my friend.

55. what is your current weight? 111.6 or so.

#hazel lives #i deleted some questions #ed questions #eating disorder questions #tw ed

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smrtboi2120-blog · 6 years

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Absence/From The Heart

So I’ve been gone quite some time. But as usual, I don’t want to spend too much time on that and I just want to dive into reflection and feelings concerning my mother. But I should mention some things. I felt compelled to start this blog, and it’s almost like, once I started it and wrote so much in the beginning, it relived a lot of what I was struggling with inside about all this, so I didn’t feel as compelled to write anymore. That and I’ve gotten busier and busier getting my life back together.

My life right now feels crazy. My mom’s appearing sicker and sicker from chemo treatment. I just received some very concerning news about a family member very close to my heart. And I’ve just seen 3 of the greatest films of the year within a 2 week period. My life feels so intense. It sounds silly but it’s true. I wouldn’t call it a dream, because I feel that implies something I desire. And I wouldn’t call it a movie because that implies a base of fiction, and this is all very real. Surreal would probably be the right word to describe this.

But let me just dive into free flowing thoughts about my mom and see what becomes of this.

I think about my mom and how I remember her when I was smaller. She had a lot of energy. She still does now, but it’s hidden and fighting under an ugly sickness, I don’t know how to address it properly. Cancer sounds so scary.

She’s lost basically all of her hair now. I tell her to shave it so it doesn’t look so....I don’t know...outstanding in a rough sort of way basically. But I think she’d like to hang on to all the hair she can.

It’s so hard for me to talk about my mom like this. She always seemed so strong to me, and she still does, but it’s hard to think about how this sickness is bringing her down, or at least trying to.

It’s been so long and I’d rather save time by not re-reading everything so far so I’m not sure if I’m repeating myself. But she’s putting all of us to shame. She’s still busy running around the house, keeping things in order and clean. What are we going to do without her. Us two males, my stepfather and me might become quite lost. My mom doesn’t want me to think that way of course, but I cannot help it.

Have I talked about how my mom is my best friend in the whole world? She is my whole world. I know that probably doesn’t sound exceptional. I’m sure most people are close to their mothers and I’m just another person. But this is all I can do as my own person, my own personal “catharsis” for all this as my sister said.

Maybe I should talk about what my mom was long when I was much smaller, in her younger years. She was very outgoing with all her female friends early on from what I can remember in my early adolescence. Actually, there were multiple times where I would cry so hard at night missing her and hoping she was okay when she stayed out late. I just couldn’t slip. My brain insisted on crying until she came home. That’s just one of many examples of my extreme attachment. It may be a bad thing, but it is what it is. I’m not going to shy away from it now, in this moment.

It’s been hard seeing her get sicker and sicker, suffering side effects from the chemo. But as long as it works, I believe this wil be all worth it. She had stomach problems, and then we got her medicine for that. She complained of severe throat pain and started losing her voice so I googled remedies for that on reddit like I do for EVERYTHING and like I’ve been doing for EVERYTHING concerning her and even my own personal life and daily remedies I need. And I saw that honey/ginger/and lemon tea seemed to be a popular soothing solution. So I made her some and it seemed to make a difference.

I know it seems small compared to everything else, but I don’t know, I don’t know what else to do. I feel so helpless so many times thinking about it. I’m ashamed I might not be a good son. That I’m not stronger. That I’m not more independent. I can’t help it. I’m not trying to make excuses and I can explain it but that’s not what I want this to be about. I wish I could make this go away for her with all of my might. Like I wish I could hug and squeeze the sickness out of her. I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless. Sometimes I feel inadequate, but medication is help even/block that out.

Then she got a bloody nose recently and that’s worried us. But again, I just want her to be strong because I know chemo is the most effective form of treatment we basically have, so all my faith is in it. I just want to keep her weight up and her emotions high.

Not so long ago we got into an argument that I really regret. And I’ve vowed to never get into another argument with her again, no mater what, to keep her stress levels as low as possible.

I even want her to stop going outside because I know she can protect her vital immune system that way. When I secluded myself for almost a whole year on two different occassions, I NEVER got sick during them. I firmly believe this is because I never left the house and we keep our house very clean. All the various viruses and bacteria are all out there, in the wild atmosphere. But I honestly don’t think I’m going to get her to stop. She wants to stay active and for things to appear as normal and possible, and I totally respect that. I just really really want to protect her health.

I could talk about us going to the movie theater together, but idk. That’s not really striking me right now.

I might of mentioned this before, but something that’s been consistent about the way my brain has been dealing with this, is, a lot of times I’ll forget about this reality and like block out the fact that she’s sick and go about myself as if everything is fine, not thinking about it. I’ll sort of lose myself, like I really tend to do. And then, out of nowhere, like in some moments of boredom or stillness, it’ll hit me. How crazy it is to see my mom like this with such a grave sickness. The fact that I could very well lose her. The fact that the rest of my life could be without her completely. And then it just kills me. Like a punch in the gut, I lose the control or feeling of air or oxygen in my system and I sort of feel lifeless or like nothingness, a sort of loss of identity or purpose on top of the lack of them that I already have. And it only adds to the helplessness.

I really didn’t ever think things would be this way, that my life would turn out like this. I suppose I took my relationship with her for granted, but I don’t know, I just figured we still had some decades together. That eventually I would figure myself out and I could really start to pay my mom back and we could really start doing things together worthy of dreams. But now I don’t know if that time is ever going to come. It’s probably just best to look back on the life we had together for what it is. I don’t even know what to call it or how to classify or quantify it.

I should have been such a better son. As my mom said, this whole experience has been so “eye-opening”.

I miss my mom ALL THE TIME at work. ALL THE TIME. I just wish I could lay with her forever as she experiences this thing and rides it all out, however it ends. That’s why it’s so important for me to take her to chemo myself. I have to do this. I need to do a better job at creating moments with her while I still have her and I really am getting better rapidly and rapidly. It’s a funny thing what you do in desperate times when survival instincts really kick in. We should make simulators for that to help out people before things get seriously bad.

I’m fortunate enough to have sorted enough of my own problems out for this, to be able to be there for her in whatever capacity I am able to.

I want to get better and better at cleaning the house and upkeeping it, I’m going to have to, and I should have just in general. I’ve been cleaning the floors on my hands and knees and I’ve actually been enjoying it.

I really want my mom to write an epic list of everything important about life, all her advice, her guidelines, her tips, her ways. I want her to write a book. A guide to life for me. So she could still be with me when she’s gone. Maybe we’ll start to work on that, but I’m so busy.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to get better, I really am, and I truly believe I’m making quite the head way. I miss her every moment I’m gone. When I drove to the theater in Chicago alone for the first time in a long time, I immediately felt her abscence in the car as I started to make the drive there. It was so quick and powerful, so noticeable and loud. It hurt so much. I seriously debated turning the car around and just staying home and hugging her. But I know she wouldn’t want me to do that. She would want me to live my own life and follow my own desires, as hard as that may be for me.

I’m getting tired unfortunately, but frankly I’m quite proud I finally got around to writing this. I told myself today at work that this was the first thing I was going to do after spending time with her when I got home from work until she fell asleep, if it’s the last thing I do. And I did it.

I just think about the punishment I’m seeing her body and mind and spirit take and I just have to block it out and fight the thoughts because if I really think about it, I might lose it. The reality of living a life without her in it at all is so mindblowing, it just leaves me with no air, that’s the best way to describe it. It feels like this huge black hole or void engulfs my whole chest/rib cage inside of me. I want to be a better son, a better person, and I am working on it. So far, so good.

Hopefully I don’t take a long break from writing here again. I’d like to get more specific or focused next time, but I just really wanted a legit refresher at least and I think I got it. I still have to go into more depth about what she was like when I was much smaller, a child. You guys, please ask specific questions to help spark ideas from me, to bring it out from me, and to keep me writing.

I don’t know. It feels like such a crazy ridiculous time. And I’m always worried that my anxiety will come back and I’ll shut off and seclude once more, but luckily it hasn’t really these past couple months especially. You have NO IDEA how truly grateful I am for that. And you have no idea how grateful I am for everyone’s support. I want to send a special shout out to my close internet friends Rosa, Chelsea, and Lily who were there for me from the first day I found out about my mother’s sickness and have always made themselves available for me throughout this whole time and have never really faltered. And a big thanks to each and every one of my family members for everything they’ve done, the gifts they bring, and the love they give. It’s invaluable. And to my co-workers who know my mom, thank you for your kind words and concerns.

Alright, I’ll leave for now and just be happy that I did this.

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thehobblefootalchemist · 7 years

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I got tagged by @afootnoteofhappiness~

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Relationship status: In cahoots w/ @ludashiki Favorite colors: Sage green, slate blue, almost any shade of brown but specifically beige, deep reds and purples Pets: A kitty! Last song I listened to: The Specter of Torment DLC remix of the Shovel Knight Lich Yard theme First fandom: Pokemon Hobbies: Writing, reading, gaming, drawing, sewing Favorite book: Don’t ask me this oh god Umm, ones really Up There are The Stand, The Dark Tower series, Black House, Good Omens, the ASoIaF saga, and the Bartimaeus Trilogy Worst thing I’ve eaten: I find blue cheese nasty, and once we had this supposedly cheeseburger-flavored Hamburger Helper thing that was so bad that none of the family could finish their bowl and our mom willingly threw the entire batch away Favorite place: Broadly, Alaska, and within it I’ve got several coffee shops/restaurants that give me calm/warm fuzzies whenever I go

Are you named after someone? No When is the last time you cried? I wanna say last week? Not a legit cry session but I did tear up, so Do you like your handwriting? I don’t have any real strong feelings either way, but I don’t -not- like it What is your favorite lunch meat? Chicken, though I do enjoy ham Do you have kids? No, and that’s not a status that will ever change If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Theoretical questions like this really throw me off because I get lost in possibilities and existential rabbit holes and my sense of self isn’t that great anyway, so I’m gonna have to pass on this one Do you use sarcasm? Nearly daily, but not maliciously Do you still have your tonsils? Indeedy Would you bungee jump? Very No What is your favorite kind of cereal? Chocolatey or frosted things Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? My shoes are never tied, I just kinda shove the laces under my foot Do you think you’re a strong person? I’ve been told I am, and I do weather a lot of stuff that would probably break a lot of people What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Minnnnnnt Oreo What is the first thing you notice about people? People give off a Vibe for me and that’s generally what I pick up on first Red or pink? Red What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? That my physical appearance doesn’t match my mental idea of myself What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Checkered gray and red comfypants and no shoes What was the last thing you ate? Reese’s Puffs What are you listening to? I was on a Caravan Palace kick last week If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Olive green Favorite smell? The aftermath of rain, brewing coffee, baking bread, and cooking anything with garlic and/or onion Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom Favorite sport to watch? We only ever watch the superbowl and that’s mostly just an excuse to sit around and eat cool snacks

Hair color? Medium brown

Eye color? Brown Do you wear contacts? Nope Favorite food to eat? Chicken, seafood, various noodle or rice dishes, and pastry/baked goods Scary movies or comedy? Both, but I avoid horror that relies on gore and comedy that relies on secondhand embarrassment Last movie you watched? I think it was Pride and Prejudice What color shirt are you wearing? Gray Summer or winter? Summer Hugs or kisses? Er, generally neither tbh. Hugs are okay, but only when with certain people What book are you currently reading? I restarted The Dark Tower series the other day Who do you miss right now? Ludashiki ;m; What is on your mouse pad? It’s just plain blue What is the last tv program you watched? River Monsters! Really sad it’s ending after this season What is the best sound? Music at just the right volume, food sauteing, heels on a marble floor, certain people’s voices, the strange hush the world gets when it’s snowing after nightfall, and many more that escape me at the moment Rolling stones or the beatles? I don’t really actively seek out either, but probably more the Beatles What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Mileage-wise, from Alaska to Texas for a medical consult Do you have a special talent? Writing in general, and in college I discovered I’ve got a real knack for critical analysis of fiction Where were you born? In the southern US People you expect to participate in the survey? Dunno! Depends on the time and will of each person

Footnote’s Questions:

Favorite Movie? Oh dear I have many favorite movies...hrrm, top tier ones at the moment are definitely Mad Max: Fury Road and Rogue One, Pacific Rim is damn near perfect, and I deeply and unironically love Van Helsing One thing you could change in the world? Mostly I’d just like it if people made effort to understand something before reacting to it or being opinionated on it, on both micro and macro levels One piece of technology you wish you had/wish existed? Automail needs to become a Thing That Exists Last candy you ate? A Hershey Kiss Something you don’t tell other people often? I am not as chill about having chronic pain as I might appear, despite having mostly accepted it Ever dyed your hair? If yes, what color? If no, what color would you choose? Before I hacked it short I dyed a stripe of it white once and kept just that part in a braid Fast food? Yay or nay? Yay, on occasion Horses? Yay or neigh? Unpopular opinion but I’ve never liked horses Weirdest thing something someone has ever said or done in your presence? This is more cool than weird but when driving once I saw a guy waiting on a corner to cross a street, and he was simultaneously reading a book and balancing in place on a unicycle The most common thing you use Youtube for? Watching let’s plays and for running background music while I draw or do housework

I’m supposed to put ten questions of my own here, and then tag ten people, but I am self-conscious about tagging people in things like these, so if you’re interested in giving it a go I suppose shoot me a message and I’ll come up with some questions!

#about the hobble

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subterraniamania · 4 years

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The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jess Rothenberg

by: Allen Tan

“Shot through the heart and you’re to blame, you give love a bad name”. A fifteen-year-old girl died, because of a broken heart, big woop right? It could’ve been just an accident? A heart attack? A stroke? But no, somehow in some way a girl dies because of heartbreak, a legit heartbreak. You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi is like one of the main theme songs for this book. This song is the most relevant song for this book because it is one of the songs that served as a kick-starter for this book because of what happened to our main character, Brie, literally and figuratively. And oh boy, what can I say, that is how you start a story.

Before we dive into the review of this book, let us give a background on the author. Jess Rothenberg is a writer and a freelance editor. She grew up in Charleston, South Carolina. She was one of the former editors of books, such as the #1 International Bestselling Vampire Academy series. The Catastrophic History of You and Me is actually her debut novel, a teen flick drama has been translated into multiple languages.

The book mainly focuses on how to move on by going through the five stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What does a person, I mean a dead person, do to fully be free from all the unfinished business she had on earth, which we will see in the book that she will struggle, hard. But now as she is D&G (dead and gone) as the book said, she was transported to a little pizza place named Slice. There she met a lot of dead kids and adults, but just one boy caught her eye, and that boy’s name is Patrick. With Patrick as a new “friend” of hers, he will help her learn the concept of time and space of being dead, the way she can interact with the things in the living world while her still being on the realm of the dead. As she is going through each stage of grief, Patrick is also there to help her know all the rules and regulations of being undead and supports Brie how she comes to terms with her newly found problems. And as you can read from the title, we can tell that this will be a very emotional book.

Rothenberg did not miss any detail, from the imagery of her words to describe the place that the characters were in, to the feelings and emotions of each character that you can almost experience those moments as if you are there with them. And I gotta say, with this being her first book, it is very impressive. She did not waste any of the characters that were mentioned in the story, she completely utilized each and every character to make them relevant for the story. She doesn’t leave out any lose details, from memories and objects that were mentioned now, can be a foreshadowing that is a page-turner for the story.

The way she addressed all the stages of grief with accuracy and carefulness that this can possibly what a person is going through during this stage. With denial, being the stage that is very overwhelming and meaningless and sometimes can be the longest stage that a person can go through in all the five stages, in which Rothenberg took advantage of being the stage with the longest number of pages. Anger seems to be endless suffering for Brie, with her being frustrated on what had happened to her friends and family after she died and the fact that she can’t do anything is causing her pain but with it, the more she’s angry the more she gets to heal. Bargaining, this stage of the book may be the most painful and relatable thing to read because of the way Rothenberg had written this part, the desperation on how Brie wants and begs to go back to the normal life she had with her friends and family. In which, we can relate it to ourselves as we would bargain anything just for our friends and family or just anything you wanted so badly, but never getting it at all. Now depression and acceptance are one of the shortest chapters of all the five stages because in this part of the book, she got nothing else to do and she felt hopeless which leads to her depression but with her depression and all that she had been through after all this, she finally accepts the fact that she can no longer go back to having a normal life, and in which, sometimes, is the best way to move on.

The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jess Rothenberg is the first book that I read, besides the textbooks from school, that I truly enjoyed and finished. From page 0 to the last page, and to the last print of the book. Well, considering that our subject in school forced me to read one, but I, nevertheless, am thankful for forcing me to read and taking my time to relax and let my imaginations run wild with this book. This book talks about being dead with unfinished business on Earth, and Jess Rotherberg’s spin of the afterlife is pretty unique considering the usual picks on the afterlife are chaotic and scary while in this book it's just really sad and lonely, which is very very relatable.

I liked the idea of falling back into the world from her new, after-death world, and the fact that, no matter how hard Brie tried, she could not find her way “home” in the after-life. Both details helped separate the world of the living from the world of the dead, serving as another reminder of how the place she is in now may look the same, but actually isn’t. Largely, I think the reason why I enjoyed The Catastrophic History of You and Me so much is its format. Brie’s story is told in a perfect medley of flashbacks and “real-time”, seamlessly moving back and forth between the past and the present and Brie’s current reflections. I was a little wary when I realized that Brie was visiting the past out of order, remembering things as they came but not necessarily in the order in which they happened. And yet, surprisingly, Jess Rothenberg makes this organization work, and work well. Reading about Brie’s memories in the order in which she remembered them, in the order in which they meant something to her after she had died, felt authentic. It made Brie seem realistic (well, even more, realistic than she already seemed).

In conclusion, I loved this book. I would definitely recommend this book to be read immediately because it is so relatable in all aspects of our relationships, like friends, family, and love. It highlights the complexities of certain situations, how there are multiple sides to every story, many ways of seeing things from different perspectives. Jess Rothenberg implements these elements in this novel amazingly, highlighting how aspects of various relationships — the friendship between characters, the connection between a parent and a child, a romantic entanglement of any sort — can be more complicated than they seem on the surface. The things Brie learns about the people in her life through her journey in this book are invaluable, both for her as a character and for us, the readers. I would rate this book an 8 out of 10.

#ReadingandWritingBookReview

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charly-ra · 4 years

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Instagram for B2B Marketing: 10 Effective Tactics

Is your company still avoiding Instagram for B2B marketing? Perhaps your company Instagram page looks something like this:

Hopefully it’s not that bad. Hopefully, you’ve taken a few steps to build a presence on “the ‘gram.” But maybe it’s been more of just a foothold than a well-planned and executed strategy.

It’s time to change that.

The idea that Instagram isn’t for B2B marketers is almost as outdated as MySpace. And no excuses about how it’s for “the younger set” (whatever that means). Millennials run departments now. They make up a sizable chunk of the B2B buyer population.

But if your B2B company isn’t on Instagram already, you’re not as far behind the curve as you might think. According to a recent study, only 46% of B2B content marketers used Instagram in the last 12 months. Even more intriguing, only 17% of them advertised on the platform.

So it’s not like it’s too late. Sure, Instagram engagement rates aren’t as high as they used to be. And the platform just removed likes, which may have unexpected affects (or – who knows – positive effects). But please, don’t hang back because you feel your company missed the moment by not getting on Instagram early.

One more request: Please do not treat this platform like it was LinkedIn. Or even like it’s Facebook. We’ve all been told for years to craft content and strategy differently depending on which social media platform we want to be on. Instagram demands this.

So here are ten strategies for how to build your influence and audience on Instagram… and how to actually get some business from it.

1.) Authenticity rules.

Is there is a secret to success on Instagram that can be summed up in one word?

If there is, it may be authenticity.

Even B2B businesses let their hair down a little on Instagram. It’s a place for behind-the-scenes fun.

If this makes you nervous, consider this: Instagram is really about playing to your fanbase. If someone is checking your company out on Instagram, they’re looking to see you as a human organization.

As Tabitha Young of 30 Degrees North explains: “Instagram can be a powerful tool if you are catering to your audience.”

“Speak to them on a personal level—not just a business level. Showcase other things that they would be interested in—not just what your business is selling. Your followers want to know that there is a human behind the brand.”

The way to do that is to be authentic.

If you’re not sure just what “be authentic” means, exactly, try this: Be playful.

2.) Use Stories.

I’ve been talking to quite a few social media managers lately, and the word on the street is engagement with photo posts is falling off.

“Everybody’s just going to the Stories,” one freelance social media manager told me.

It’s not too hard to figure out why: Video. We like moving pictures. Having sound adds another level to engage with, too.

Stories disappear after 24 hours, of course… unless you add them to your highlights (those round circles on your profile page, right above where your posts appear).

Dribbble has done a fantastic job with Stories by creating a series of super-short interviews with prominent designers.

Any B2B firm could do something like this. All you would need is for your interviewee to answer a couple of interesting questions (especially if they can result in inspiring quotes). Then have them send you a minute or so of Stories format (i.e. vertical) video. That footage could be taken while they’re on the phone, in a meeting, walking down the hall, or talking to colleagues. Stitch that together into a Story, then add each Story to a dedicated highlight.

3.) Embrace Instagram’s mobile-first DNA.

Most Millennials won’t have to be told this, but some GenXers and Boomers may benefit from the tip. Stop using Instagram via a browser. It’s meant to be used via the app.

Instagram is a truly “mobile first” channel. So if you’re still shifting your company towards thinking “mobile first,” Instagram can be one of the sub-strategies within that larger goal. You’ll want to complement it with a fast website (and prioritize that, by the way), but Instagram is a legitimate part of a move toward mobile. Just don’t think of it as all you have to do.

4.) Test the appointment booking feature.

This seems like a superb way for B2B marketers to get more traction from Instagram, but surprisingly few people talk about it. And it’s only available with a Business Account.

Here’s what a book button looks like in action:

There are over two dozen services you can use to add a book button. For B2B marketers, Acuity Scheduling would be a good choice. Plans range from free to $50 a month, and the $50 a month version lets you schedule appointments on up to 36 different calendars for multiple employees or locations. It also lets you accept payments for appointments, send texts, and is even legit for BAA and HIPAA compliance. It also integrates with Zapier, Google Analytics, InfusionSoft, Zoom, GoToMeeting, PayPal, and more than a dozen other services B2B marketers will recognize.

If you really want to actually drive business on Instagram, and you haven’t set something like this up, get on it. Like now.

5.) Do not get on Instagram just for the sake of being on Instagram.

This is B2B marketing… not a personal feed of photos of your kids, your travels, your food, or your cute puppy. You know that. You know you need to have a strategy and a well-defined goal if you want to make the time you’ll invest on Instagram worthwhile.

For B2B marketers, the best strategy may be to either:

Showcase your company culture and employees

Be a thought-leader with quotes and stats and useful information presented in a fresh way

The next questions is how you fulfill that strategy – which content will you publish?

Whatever it is, make it visual. Instagram is a visual content platform. While the text part of posts can be long, the real engine of Instagram is visual content.

So think in terms of visual content. For example:

Do you publish a lot of infographics? A full infographic won’t fit well on Instagram, but a section of one can. Ask your agency or your in-house designer to break out a few chunks of information from any new infographics you publish, or for all your old infographics. If you’ve got, say, 10 existing infographics, they could be made into 30-50 really nice Instagram posts. If you post three times a week, that’s 10-16 weeks worth of content!

If you follow the new research in your industry closely, all those charts and graphs can make for excellent photo posts.

Short video is also an excellent way to promote content. Tools like Lumen5 and InVideo make it possible to create very short summaries of blog posts and other content.

Bonus tip: If you don’t have 10,000 followers yet, and you want to try to get people to click through to your site to see this content, try updating your profile link so people can go direct to the piece of content you’re promoting.

Or use a tool like LinkTree to create a short list of links that appear when someone clicks your profile link.

6.) Keep the sales pitches to a minimum.

We won’t fool you: Instagram is probably not going to be a major direct sales channel for a B2B company. Not even a B2B SaaS company. And because you cannot force people to do what they don’t want to, trying to do the direct sales approach on Instagram may well fail.

So let’s step back from the direct sale approach. You’re probably familiar with the idea of using content marketing to educate and entertain rather than to use for direct selling. You know it’s okay to mention your products in passing in your content (maybe once or twice at most), but a hard sell will flop. And often, the less you mention your products and services in your content, the wider a reach your content is likely to have.

Instagram content is like this, but only more so. So while it is possible to sell via Instagram – and one in three consumers has done so – keep the Sales pitches to a minimum.

7.) Advertise.

Don’t have 10,000 followers? No worries. You can still drive clicks directly to your site, or to a specific landing page on your site. It just requires a little advertising.

You may have to spend a little and test a lot to maintain lead quality, but there is absolutely a business audience on Instagram. Just try to add a little fun to your ads, as your business audience may be enjoying some personal time as they scroll by.

8.) Engage with people directly.

I know… talking directly to your customers… it’s scary. But another tip I got recently from several social media managers is that if you want traction on this platform, you’re gonna have to go direct.

Fortunately, because Instagram is so mobile-first, this isn’t too hard. You’ve got your phone with you most of the time, right? So open that app and like and comment on, say, five posts while you wait for a subway, or in the checkout line at the grocery store. Do this twice a day and you’ll be leaving comments on 10 posts a day. Extra credit if you mention someone when you comment… it’s a great way to get people’s attention, and you’re engaging with two people at once.

Even better, when you publish a company post, tag a couple of accounts / people in the post.

Then go one better again: Ask your employees or teammates to reach out and do their own relationship-building on this platform. Younger employees, especially, may be much happier interacting with your audience on Instagram (rather than, say, LinkedIn). And it all counts. Whether you want direct sales, or simply engagement with your content, or to nurture partnerships, influencers, or future employees, the best way to do it is via human to human marketing.

9.) Be data-driven.

Just like with any other social media platform, or any other marketing activity: Track what you’re doing. Expand on what works and trim back on what doesn’t.

Instagram’s own analytics is pretty good, but 44% of marketers said it was only “somewhat” useful for strategic planning in a recent survey. Most B2B marketers may want to add another layer with tools like Oktopost or SproutSocial. Whatever you use, please – use something.

10.) Be open to influencer marketing.

Is there any other social media platform as dominated by influencers and influencer “culture” as Instagram? YouTube, maybe… but it’s a close tie.

Influencer marketing might not hold quite as much sway with B2B marketers as with B2C marketers, but there are opportunities. Especially if you can partner with subject experts and known authorities in your industry.

Ideally, of course, any partnership you do set up with an influencer will include more than just a few posts on Instagram. Webinars, research projects, and podcasts would all be complementary projects.

Instagram in 2020

As Instagram matures as a business platform, we expect to see more B2B marketers testing the platform or expanding on what they’ve already been doing. This will be especially true over the next few years, as younger Millennials move higher and higher up in the ranks of their companies, and gain more and more decision making power in B2B purchases.

But even now, don’t ignore this platform because it’s not chock-a-block with CMOs and VPs of marketing. B2B sales often involve the input of more than 10 people. Some of those people are on Instagram right now.

from http://bit.ly/349ali0

#Digital Marketing

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savvystories · 6 years

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your humble, terrorist hating host who will burn you to the fucking ground if you threaten me, asshole

I woke up early because last night it seemed my country might be going to war, and even though I am not in the military, one should never take these things lightly.

After all, one aggrieved terrorist nutjob with a bomb (or car or box cutter) can do a lot of damage to a school full of kids or a crowd of tourists on a bridge, you know?

Retaliation is a thing.

Anyway, as I was pounding out my workout yesterday, stepping from the treadmill, Jenny sends me a Facebook message.

You guys know Jenny. She’s an amazing writer, a good friend with a great sense of humor, co-host of (the critically acclaimed – probably – but not very much watched) internet show Writers Off Task With Friends, valued critique partner, celebrity judge for the latest Word Weaver Writing Contest, presenter at the Florida Writer’s Conference in 2017, etc.

Note I said “a good friend with a great sense of humor.”

So yesterday she sends me a message

As you can see, in real time, I admit I have no idea who this person is, but since Jenny laughingly sent it to me, I assumed it was related to me.

What can I say, Jenny isn’t always on target with her humor.

“It’s not you. But I immediately thought of you. Which made it funny.

Or not, I guess.” – Jenny

Anyway, I go on about my business, and she catches up with me later – or tried, because as I noted I woke up early to see if we were at war. I also crashed early last night because we went shoe shopping for an 8 year old. (My poor wife. After 10 minutes she was dealing with two whiners.

Man. Shoe shopping for others is the WORST. Why didn’t you guys tell me?)

Meanwhile, this blogger dedicates a whole blog site to what Jenny thinks is attacks on ME.

I reblogged a few of them earlier.

Can you believe that? And they aren’t even well-written. Come on!

Now, I’ve heard that you aren’t supposed to give stalkers attention because they just go bananas with it. Like, if they can’t get positive attention from you, they will act up until they get negative attention from you.

But

“That picture I posted WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT DAN.” – Jenny, a few hours later

It’s safe to say we still don’t know, but

I’m not much for sitting back and taking shit.

In fact, I once fought off 40,000 tweets from Blackfish after posting a picture of my then 2-year old daughter at Sea World smiling at a dolphin.

I got into it with a hugely popular (but bullsh!t) writing contest that I exposed for the garbage that it was, and believe me, THOSE people weren’t backing down. (Until the head of the organization contacted me and then they backed the fuck down quick. Then they all went away, like snap! Gone.)

So can I deal with an unread, puny blogger with too much time on his/her hands? I think so. Today will be the most views that blog gets in its entire short, sordid history, and then it’ll fade away into the nothingness from which it came.

I love Bible thumpers who give Bible thumpers a bad name, don’t you?

As my good friend and Reverend Greg might say, turn the other cheek. (Yeah, one of my high school friends is a reverend, with a massive, totally impressive following.)

So as this humble blog gets ready to beat last year’s 60,000 views, let’s recap just what a piece of crap I am

I mentor other writers. There’s actually a waiting list if you want to join my private critique group or have me edit your book. Many bestselling authors will not publish their book without me looking at it first.

This blog got over 60,000 view in 1027 alone. Let’s just think about that for a while. Sixty thousand… 60k… A six followed by one two three four zeroes. (That’s a lot of people who aren’t complaining about me, isn’t it? So, ComplainerBlogger, are all of them wrong, or maybe just you? Hmm.)

I work with school kids (grades 3-8) after school all year to help them gain a better understanding about writing. 18 grade school children will become published authors in a few weeks because of their love of writing. The teacher of one of my Young Authors told my wife that my involvement has really turned a few kids around to reading and writing when they were uninterested before. I helped that happen! What a monster I am.

I regularly let unknown writers and bloggers do a guest post on this blog – because I’m a real @sshole

I let new authors advertise on this blog to get word out about their book.

I hold writing contests because a friend and valued critique partner (who is too humble to remember it was her) said it’d be fun – and it was/is. We are finishing up our latest VERY SUCCESSFUL one right now – which makes me think the unhappy party in question might have something to do with that, but more on that later.

So far, EACH 1st PLACE WINNER of my Word Weaver Writing Contest has gone on to publish their work, and so have a few others who got 2nd place or other recognition. That’s kind of a big deal. They found enough inspiration here to gain the confidence to move ahead and roll the dice on their writing, and so far they are batting .1000. Some GREAT authors have come to the world via these contests. How cool is that?

I got a group of bestselling author friends together with some unknown and unpublished authors, and we put out a scary anthology last October that hit #1 in its category within 30 days of its release. That project helped a lot of people get published who might never have been otherwise.

I keep cranking out books, three this year so far, including illustrated children’s books and a helpful writing guide (above, which I will send you for free if you contact me and ask for it and promise to leave a review on Amazon – free book? YOU MONSTER!!) Oh and my novels – the next novel is my best ever, and will totally blow your socks off. Check out the cover, right.

I regularly talk about, reblog and promote my author friends. If you follow this blog at all, you’ve seen Lucy and Anne Marie mentioned in the last 10 days, and a lot of others mentioned in the last 30 days. That’s what I do, help others.

In fact, I help other so much I was recently asked to do a presentation with my books at Barnes & Noble to the Tampa Writers Association.

and

I was asked to become a member of the Board of directors of the Florida Writer’s Association.

All because I’m such a piece of sh!t.

So when Jenny sends me this message, I’m thinking I pissed somebody off and they are complaining on my blog

Well, first of all, I’ll let you complain about me on my blog. Most of you are nice enough not to do it, but when you have a legitimate gripe, I wanna know. For future reference, I prefer if you use the Contact Me button to air your grievances. It goes straight to my email, which I check a zillion times a day, and I take stuff on my blog seriously. The comments, those get posted at WordPress’ pace. The email is faster.

But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna lay down and eat shit, either, motherf^cker.

You have a complaint? I’m a willing listener.

You wanna go off for no legit reason about how your writing was good enough to win my writing contest after you admitted you didn’t really clean it up much and even you said it had some issues?

That’s on you.

See, in the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve had a few spammers and only 1 real complainer.

60,000 views last year, and one complainer.

ONE

This douche canoe thought his (I assume a he; with internet you really never know) but he wrote a good story for one of my contests. In the November 2017 contest, I got a decent story, but it had major issues. Plot holes, and a leap of logic that didn’t make sense to me. That happens. Some people think they have to cut their masterpiece down to 3k to get into the contest, and that’s what this guy did – leaving out stuff, but even by his own admission, it had issues.

So, I did what I do. I said it was good, I said it had issues, I told him what they were, and I offered suggestions to fix the story.

You did that? What a jerk!

Now, for those of you who’ve been through my critique process, these contests – and my many critique partners from around the globe – would have ceased working with me years ago if what I said in my critiques wasn’t supportive and helpful. Because it IS.

Oh, but if you are just looking for someone to tell you how great you are, that’s a little different.

You might great.

If the writing you sent isn’t great, I’ll tell you what I think you need to do to get it to be great.

If it’s great, I say so.

Those are some great books, and I’m happy to work with and promote each of those authors’ stories.

If you wrote garbage or stuff that – by your own admission – has major issues, I’m not telling you it’s brilliant if it’s not.

I’ll tell you how to fix your story, but if your reply is:

“It’s brilliant not for what it actually is on the page but what should have been and therefore…”

– huh?

Write the brilliance, baby. That’s the job.

– Dan Alatorre, who loves quoting himself on his blog

Okay, so later in the night, Jenny and another author friend decide maybe the blogger in question is actually nutso. Wouldn’t be the first time a writer went over the edge, but it’s probably best if their wrath for the world isn’t aimed at me, especially when they are giving implied death threats.

I still don’t know if this stuff is aimed at me, because it’s the refuge of a coward to throw stones anonymously. Notice I use my real name on everything? Not a coward.

Anyway, this nonsense got 30 minutes more of my time than it should have, so I’m gonna go turn on the news and sit on the couch and get ready for a fun day of two different birthday parties filled with 8 year olds that my kid has to go to. (I’m looking forward to both. Really. One is at a karate place. I wanna see about breaking a board with my bare hands like they do on the internet, and this may be my chance.)

If you are writing blog posts about me, or dedicating your ENTIRE blog to me – good or bad, THANK YOU. (But seriously – rethink your life goals.)

If you wanna report abusive content, here’s how you do that

https://en.support.wordpress.com/report-blogs/

If you wanna check out the borderline insane stuff this bozo is doing, click on over

Because:

Death threats, wishing a person gets killed in traffic, implied or otherwise – they aren’t funny. I don’t take it seriously, but I have a daughter who reads stuff, and scaring kids is bullshit, Bible guy. Even your thick skull can get that message through. Be better than that.

We live in a world where people go bananas all the time. The FBI might come knocking on your door based on what other people think your hate filled messages say about you being the next psycho killer. Don’t be that guy. And for Pete’s sake, don’t hide behind comments on Jenny’s blog when nobody’s reading yours. That’s sad and pathetic. Talk reasonably to the source of your ill will, discuss rationally, and part friends or part ways amicably. Maybe I read a different Bible than you did in my 12 years of Catholic schools, but let’s do a little Golden Rule here. If you were the guy who entered my contest and was disappointed, remember:

I showed one of the judges the insane emails you wrote to me and even she said I should kick you out of the contest because you were a psycho. Now Jenny thinks so, too, and blocked you from her blog like I had to, and from my email after you wouldn’t stop with the nonsense. And now others will think you’re a psycho. IS IT ALL OF US, OR MAYBE IS IT YOU?

Don’t be a guy who posts insane rants on the internet.

Or at least be funny when you do.

YAWN

I’m still not sure ANY of this was about me, but I trust Jenny.

SHE says it was posted on her blog after a comment I made, and she concluded the comments were about me.

That’s good enough.

She subsequently felt the need to ask the person to stop commenting on her blog and probably blocked them.

All I know is, it’s time to make my beautiful daughter waffles (she no longer insists on eating the chocolate chip kind, thank god), hit Target for some presents, and then head to the birthday parties.’

If there are no posts for a while, it’s because the karate board breaking didn’t go well and I broke my hand.

Here’s What A Piece Of Crap I Am, Definitely Deserving Of Possible Implied Death Threats From A Soon To Be Former Blogger I woke up early because last night it seemed my country might be going to war, and even though I am not in the military, one should never take these things lightly.

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