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hphmmatthewluther · 9 months

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12 Months of Magic: July - Surprises

Just before the month is over, here's my @hp-12monthsofmagic post for July! Features an angy Cassandra and Jane having a surprisingly effective poker face.

What’s In a Name?

To say that Jane Luther had an interest in her extended family was something of an understatement. For the formative years of her life she had believed that the Luther family were an on the whole standard family without much going on, and that the name Luther was synonymous with the status quo. Then she’d met the Luther-Snydes, who to be brutally honest sort of blew the rest of her family out of the water. They had imaginations, they played together, they actually enjoyed themselves. Jane loved playing with her cousins, Rowan and Abigail Luther-Snyde, and loved listening to their parents’ stories of what they got up to at her age.

This curiosity extended to when she came to Hogwarts to learn magic. It seemed that a lot of people had heard about the exploits of Matthew Luther and his friends, and as a result a lot of them assumed that she was Matthew’s kid. They did share the same shade of brown hair, after all, and in time she had started off on her own series of adventures around the castle. It didn’t necessarily annoy her (in fact it often let her get her foot in the door when it came to starting a conversation), and she was happy to correct people who assumed incorrectly. There was, however, one downside to the Luther-Snydes being an extended family as opposed to immediate.

“I can’t believe I thought you might actually be their daughter!” guffawed Cassandra, not 24 hours after she, Jane, and her classmates had returned to Hogwarts for their second year. Surrounded by the Frey twins, she had immediately noticed Jane walking in for breakfast and proceeded to point her gloved finger at the girl before beginning to hurl insults her way.

“I mean really, it’s unbelievable that someone like you shares a surname with some of the greatest sorcerers to live.” she sneered.

Jane didn’t mind it too much; she’d had to deal with it for a few weeks at the tail end of their first year and now Cassandra was trying to get it going again. While her friends all looked aghast, Jane simply continued eating her breakfast.

“Oh, bother someone else for a change!” hissed Ivy, her hand ready to pull out her wand at a moment’s notice. Jane, however, shook her head.

“I get why she’d try comparing me to my wizarding relatives,” Jane explained. “They were really the talk of the school back in the 80s.”

Robyn, who had been eavesdropping from the Gryffindor table, came over with Kevin. “Hang on a second, this is what this is about?” she asked, her eyebrow raised at the gang of Slytherins. “A couple of wizards from the 80s?”

“Not just any old wizards!” Cassandra sighed, exasperated. “One of the greatest curse-breakers to ever live…Merula Snyde!”

Everyone else looked at her a little surprised. Except for Jane. Jane continued to eat her breakfast, chomping down on cereal with a smile.

Daniel cleared his throat. “I thought you were going for Matt-”

“Well that’s what a dimwit would go for because it’s her last name! I couldn’t care less if someone’s dad is Matthew Luther, but to have lived your life with Merula Snyde…”

Something changed as Cassandra continued speaking. She got a faraway look in her eye, a far cry from her normal arrogant glare. “She was the first one to try and crack the Cursed Vaults, Matthew had to be goaded into it by her, and she used that to her success! She never once followed the school’s dress code! Not once! She’s technically a Baroness of a province in Poland somewhere!”

Ivy chuckled. “Sounds like someone pays more attention to History of Magic lessons than they’d like to admit.”

Cassandra went slightly pink. “Don’t be silly. Those lessons make it all sound so boring. I grew up hearing stories about her, the way she’d break curses and not care what anybody thinks! She’s an inspiration to me! And thus, I would respect anyone actually related to her, and not anyone who’s her husband’s cousin’s daughter.”

Jane finally finished her breakfast. Putting down her spoon, she looked over at Cassandra. “You’ve thought a lot about how much you and her are alike, right? Both parts of Slytherin, both refusing to listen to anyone else, et cetera et cetera…”

“Of course!” Cassandra replied proudly. “While our fashion choices differ, the rest of our outlook on life is the same.”

“Sure, provided you’re talking about how she started out. As opposed to how she graduated Hogwarts as far less of a bully.” Jane said, simply, her expression indecipherable.

Cassandra simply scowled. “Oh, and since when were you such an expert on Merula Snyde, hmm?”

“Since talking to her during the summer.” Jane explained. “Their eldest son is coming to Hogwarts, so wanted to know what it was like…and if the kids were as mean as she was when she was young.”

“Th-that proves nothing! Nobody would want their own child to be picked on!” Cassandra screeched across the gap between Slytherin and Ravenclaw table, “If it weren’t for her “bullying” the Cursed Vaults wouldn’t have been broken! She was the most powerful witch at Hogwarts and knew it! She was better than everyone else! She was…she was…what?”

Jane had covered her mouth, presumably to hide her smile. Daniel, Ivy, Kevin and Robin’s eyes were all as wide as dinner plates. Fischer and Colby Frey slowly stepped away and ran. Cassandra slowly turned around to see a woman in her thirties wearing black combat boots, a matching black leather jacket over a red flannel shirt. But what was most striking were her facial features. She had dark pink eyes and short messy hair, with a flash of orange hair sticking out just above the midpoint between her eyes. Cassandra looked up at Merula. Merula looked down at Cassandra.

“To be honest…” she said, scratching her head with a smile. “A lot of that stuff was just for show.”

Cassandra had frozen like a deer in the headlights (not that she’d know what headlights were). She raised her hand up, waving it up and down as if that’d help her remember how to speak. “Y-You’re…b-but…that’s not…how did…”

Merula chuckled. “It’s all right. I was a lot like that when I was a kid. The same thing happened to me, actually, started mouthing off about how great I was right behind Professor Snape. It was unbelievably embarrassing.”

Cassandra blinked once or twice before asking a quiet, awed. “W-Why are you here?! D-Did Jane-”

“Jane suggested I come out here because I’d get to have some fun. Which I did. But now you get something that I would have killed for at your age: some decent pointers in the right direction.”

Cassandra took a breath, trying to collect herself. “I…I’ve always wanted to be like you…to take control of my own life and be on top after so long being…” she trailed off, scowling at herself. Daniel was going to say something, but Jane stopped him, shaking her head.

Merula nodded. “I heard, yes. The kids you were in a creche with…they made fun of your name?”

Cassandra stared at the floor. “Mmh…Vole…they said I looked like one, like some kind of weird rat.”

Robyn had to be stopped from supporting that claim by Kevin. Jane just stared, thinking about a time a few months ago when she’d seen Cassandra spend days agonising about a rash she’d got in on her cheek in Herbology.

Merula just nodded. “Kids will be cruel, especially if they find an excuse, even a flimsy one like that. I got flack for my name too. Snyde. People said it fit me too well, so I decided I’d try and prove them right. It never ended up making me happy. Look, I’m not gonna tell you not to pick on people, because that never works. I’ll just say that one day, you’ll find something that fills that hole far more than name-calling ever did.” she sighed, shaking her head again. “Eesh, that sounded cheesy. I’ve been spending too much time with Professor Khanna. Just…don’t take any crap but don’t be a prick about it. Easy enough?”

Cassandra nodded so fast that the Freys looked worried her head might come off. “Of course, thank you, um…but what were you doing here in the first place?”

Merula’s pink eyes wandered to the one table that hadn’t been involved in the conversation. Sitting there talking to a small group of friends was a boy with brown hair like Jane’s, but striking pink eyes like Merula’s too. “I just wanted to make sure Rowan was doing ok. As an ex-teacher I have those perks, see.”

Cassandra watched as Rowan looked at the group, saw his mother, and waved a little. He waved to Jane, too, but immediately looked away when it came to Cassandra. She scowled once more, but it soon faded. “...I’m…I should go to Potions…Mer-, um, Miss Snyde, thank you for the advice, I, um…” she looked around nervously, before:

“Could I get your autograph?!” she said, so loud that most people in the Great Hall almost jumped out of their seats. Jane looked on with a sense of pride, knowing that while Merula’s talk probably wouldn’t shake Cassandra out of her pattern of rumour-mongering about her friends forever, it would definitely leave her wide-eyed until at least lunchtime tomorrow.

#hp12mom #12 months of magic #hpma #jane luther #cassandra vole #merula snyde #rowan luther-snyde #ivy warrington #daniel page #robyn thistlethwaite #kevin farrell

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aakipple · 7 months

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some of my favorite stills from a cherry magic animatic i made yesterday :)

#this has been brewing in my mind for Months. it was only a matter of #actually drawing it lol #i made the thumbs two nights ago and spent all day yesterday drawing all the frames. worth it #(i shouldvebeen studying for a major exam tomorrow but ermmmmm #anyways. please perceive it i didnt spent 12 hours drawing for nothing!!!#cherry magic #adachi kiyoshi #kurosawa yuichi #akima's art #animatic

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queeraang · 2 days

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if i see one more "lol aang should've killed ozai" post somewhere i'm gonna mcfreaking lose it, so here we go

Why Aang Killing Ozai is a Garbage Concept and You Have Prestige TV Brainrot

Whenever people bring aang up in conversations of "protagonists who really should have killed their villains" a la batman i feel like they watched a different show than me. the whole point of his arc is that he is someone who is peaceful and avoidant being forced into the role of a decisive fighter.

He is not a warrior, when the execs tried to ask for aang in battle armor to sell as a toy bryke turned it into a bit. he doesn't like to fight, he wants to do diy extreme sports and pet animals. the airbending technique that he invents is the *air scooter* and the first thing he does with it is turn it into a game with the other monks.

He mastered the bending art that's all about indirect attacks and evasiveness and said "actually I think I could figure out a way to hit less". It would be wildly out of character for him to throw his pacifist culture (which is deeply important to him) out the window to enact "justice" for a war he was never actually a part of.

also, to bring it back to batman, the argument is usually "well the joker gets out of prison and kills again" which, fair. but aang finds a non lethal way to neutralize the threat of ozai. iroh says outright, he could kill ozai himself, no problem but that wouldn't fix things. the solution to a century of murder is not "more murder but it's good this time".

aang was even perfectly set up to kill ozai after unlocking the avatar state again. but he snaps himself out of it because he doesn't want a repeat of the north pole (aka the one time he did kill people and was fucking traumatized by the experience??). don't get me wrong, ozai stinks on fucking ice, but there's something incredible about the final conflict being resolved because aang is able to break away from a thousand lifetimes of righteous fury, look at this man who has done horrible things, who is in the middle of trying to wipe out an entire nation like his grandfather wiped out aang's... and give him mercy.

i think that people are too used to the "you've wronged me and now you will die" grimdark revenge plotlines of morally grey protags so they misunderstand what aang's actual strengths are. because he gets told "hey the entire world is literally on your shoulders, everyone you love is dead, people are dying constantly and a lot of them blame you because you didn't fulfill a job you never asked for that has only made your life worse since you got it" and then somehow not only does he do that absolute shit sandwich of a job before he hits puberty, but he manages to do it while still be kind and loving and optimistic.

tldr; if you're complaining that the 13yo sole survivor of a genocide wasn't more excited to kill a man, you're the problem dude

#'why isn't this show about child soldiers choosing love in the face of brutality more violent' eat my entire ass #i've been autistically hyperfocused on this show since february 21st 2005 #don't recite the fucking deep magics to me #atla for ts #i'm clearly out my drafts and have been marinating on this thought for months #'kyoshi would have done it' kyoshi wouldn't have the chance because she'd have been murdered at 12 for wanting to stand her ground #i'm sick of y'all

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poptartmochi · 4 months

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until proven otherwise, i am assuming gortash speedran mephistopheles' lair with durge. and also. their funny little magician augusta

#sriracha.txt #they later ba sing se her about the whole thing because she has never had to lie in her life #baby believes in the sacred power of the truth and well. that cannot work with the Way of Things lol #OH. so maybe that's why claudia dies. because Claudia Knows the Truth + is going to fracture augusta's Understanding of Events #she said mama..... what the fuck were you doing at the devil's fee 🧐🧐 and augusta's like wha huh :o what WAS i doing at the devil's fee??#SO....... does gortash have cesare kill her...... as like some fucked up walter white maneuver..#AND AUGUSTA CATCHES HIM.................... WHICH IS WHY CESARE DIES......................#head in the hands..#this is effectively speedrunning the augusta soap opera + agustin transition BUT... believe #i like that gortash is playing the most fucked up 5d chess with the hhune's and then being soooo evil angelic with everyone else #claudia's like I Know What You Are Little Man >:( and gortash decides immediately that she is going to mysteriously disappear in the next #seven months. meanwhile the rest of the patriars are like 😒😒 gortash eugh.. or they're like yaaay gortash 😍😍#Meanwhile....................... the emperor in the book cooking up the most insane manipulation plot EVERRR #he said you did NOT comingle with augusta for 12 years like ME.. you will Neverrrr manipulate that sweet draconic magic like I CAN!!#🦖#bg3 spoilers

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dee-is-for-lots-of-things · 2 years

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tim hunter being queer compilation because tim. mary. my dude. my girl. bestie. u are not cis and you are NOT straight

#also this has the exact vibe of something that would have made me have Interesting emotions if i read it when i was like 12 #u cant have a character choose to live as a girl for months (years?) and NOT have me think theyre trans in some way shape or form #lily liveblogs #would 100% recommend the vertigo winter specials for pure fluff which is DYING to be interpreted in shippy ways #like holy shit joh mary just fucking kiss already. please.#books of magic #the books of magic #tim hunter #mary hunter #joh #comicc

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problemcore · 1 year

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sunny doodles! when sasha moves into the city opens his restaurant, she becomes a regular there, even if she's too shy to actually talk to sasha. eventually she gets out of her shell and sasha gets. attached so fast to her. she's never seen a magick before! she never even knew they're real! thats sooo coolllll. show me cool tricks magick boy!!!

#she's also like 12 i think #tumblr crowd finally receives kitchen magic content LMAO #ive had sunny on my mind for MONTHS. she's part of the main cast. she's just there to bring light and happiness to this actually kinda grim #video game :)#dnoodles #sunny (oc)#oh no. do i have another oc named sunny. oh god lemme check.#NOPE tragedy avaded thankfully #anyway #she's my little girl and i love her so much #kitchen magic #sasha (oc)#my ocs

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flareshogwarts · 1 year

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Anything’s Possible

Finally, here is my contribution to @hp-12monthsofmagic 12 month challenge!

I actually had planned something completely different, but the idea for this short story came to me spontaneously, which is also the finale to the story from me and @whatwouldvalerydo about our HPMA Ship Phil and Scarlett!

Little Reminder: Phil had a drunken One Night stand with a unknown Hufflepuff Girl, who then brags about it and wanted to make Scarlett jealous.

You can read the last part here

But who thought Phil would react like this? He shows a new side of himself. Well..anything is possible.

Mentioned:

Scarlet Tempest (belongs to @whatwouldvalerydo )

Reva Amario (belongs to @lifeofkaze)

Rory McTavish (belongs to @the-al-chemist )

!!!Warning!!!:

Mention of NSFW

Teenager Hormones

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3 weeks have passed since the incident with Phil and the Hufflepuff girl. Scarlett wanted a duel after they met, but thank God Phil dissuaded her.

Everything seemed to be going as usual and the whispering about Phil slowly diminished. Much to Phil's relief. He tried to hide it, but the rumors about him bothered him more than he initially thought. Most just giggled, a few snapped a few jokes. Phil didn't care. Worse were those who now thought they should approach Phil, ask him out, or ask straight out for details. Phil wasn't used to this kind of attention and he didn't like it either. So he had decided to wear flashy cosplays to the next Quidditch matches (much to the chagrin of Rory and Reva, who had to help him with crafts in the Gryffindor common room on several occasions). When Phil commented on the Darth Maul cosplay at the penultimate game of the season, he was definitely that weird nerd that people prefer to avoid again. And he preferred it that way. In this role he felt comfortable.

But one person didn't give up. The girl, whose name Phil still didn't know (he didn't even care anymore), kept telling about how she seduced the Quidditch commentator and how Scarlett threatened her afterwards. Most of it was made up for it and the friends had their hands full trying to keep Scarlett from going after the girl.

It was one of the nicer days and Phil was sitting in the courtyard in the blazing sun. Reva mumbled something about "getting some color" and ignored Phil's argument with an air of posh pallor. So Phil let the sun in for 10 minutes before going back to his room. He has yet to finish the secret project…. Reva watched her mate from a shady spot and looked like she was about to fall asleep again. While Phil was pretending to read his book, he was already planning to put sugary frills on Reva's robes. In revenge, of course, for the sun's rays.

But something else now drew Phil's attention. The girl just entered the courtyard and spotted Phil. Oh no...why is she approaching him now? Phil quickly jumped up and wanted to go in the other direction, but two other students blocked his way. Here's what you get for going out terraforming your island in Animal Crossing! Thanks Reva!

With a sigh, Phil turned around and saw the girl standing in front of him with her arms crossed. Reva had already got up in the meantime and wanted to rush to Phil's help, but he waved her off. Was he up to something?

The girl started talking, "Well, don't you think it's about time?"

"Time? For what?" replied Phil dryly.

“Ask me on a date of course! The whole school knows what happened and of course it's your job now to ask me out."

Phil didn't reply. He had to process and sort through first what the girls just said now. Now why did she think they would go on a date? The girl seemed to interpret his silence as shyness and so she continued unconcernedly.

“Listen, I don't know what that bitch Scarlett told you, but it's clear that she's keeping you on a long leash. She is a men-eater and always will be. Throw herself at anyone who even asks for it. You should be grateful to me that it was me who saved you from her. She just took advantage of you and you're being too friendly. She's so pathetic."

The girl and her friends giggle, not realizing they've gone a step too far. Phil had no problem with being insulted, told lies about him, or dismissed as a freak. But never badmouth Phil's friends. Especially not Scarlett.

Phil's entire posture changed, as did his charisma. The girls had no idea what was about to happen, but Reva saw her friend like she had never seen him before. Phil's expression didn't change, but his expression was hard and his eyes were cold. He felt an emotion that he rarely felt like this. Phil Baker was furious.

"The only pathetic person here is you."

The giggling stopped immediately and the girls looked confused at Phil. Before the counterattack could be launched, Phil continued.

"Tell me, are you kinda in love with me? Your obsession with me and this one night stand is almost pathological. Maybe you should get it checked out. How pathetic and boring does your own life have to be if you're so preoccupied with mine or Scarlett's? Don't you have better things to do or are you really that stupid? You found out everything about me and I don't even know your name!"

The students present in the courtyard all stopped and watched the current events spellbound. People had never seen Phil like this before. His normally calm and relaxed voice has given way to a razor-sharp, almost aggressive voice. And was he always this big? Phil's whole body was tense. He never looked so big and dominant. He stared at the groups of girls in front of him like a lion and didn't blink once. He slowly walked towards the girl while she backed away.

"I want to tell you something now. You annoy me more than a bug in a new EA video game. You are pathetic, annoying and have an obnoxious character. WHY should I go on a date with YOU? I'm not a masochist! You've been annoying me and my friends for a month."

By now he and the girl had reached the wall of the school building and fear was written all over the girl's face. Phil's words were barely more than a whisper now.

“You stay away from me and my friends from now on. And if I hear you say one bad word about Scarlett or give her a silly look, I swear you'll regret it."

With that, Phil took a step back and spoke in a louder, more relaxed voice.

“Besides… I think you overestimate yourself. Yes, we had sex. You've been talking about this for 4 weeks, so I seem to have stuck by quite a bit. I, on the other hand, can't remember anything. You don't seem to have made a lasting impression."

A cheeky grin crossed Phil's face as the girl's face flushed red from the laughter from the others. The eyes filled with tears and the girl ran away crying. Her friends still followed her, pale-faced.

Phil relaxed again and ran his hand through his hair. He hasn't been this angry in a long time. He didn't even notice that someone had been watching him the whole time...

Reva walked up to Phil and patted his shoulder, laughing, "I didn't know you could freak out like that. My respect."

"Last time I was so angry when the top laner in LoL used to kill me as a jungler."

And by then it was gone. Phil's cool demeanor.

“I mean how are you supposed to jungle if you don't get gold for items. And without the bow, Grag is..."

Before Phil could finish his sentence or Reva could roll her eyes in annoyance, someone grabbed Phil's wrist and pulled him away. It was the person Phil that was watching the whole time. It was Scarlett.

She dragged the surprising Phil down a few aisles, ignoring his questions. When she was sure they were both alone, Scarlett turned and pulled Phil closer and kissed him, eyes closed. She didn't want him to see how red they are.

Phils head starts spinning while the kiss. He didn't expect the kiss itself, nor the intensity. But he sensed that Scarlett was upset and returned the kiss. It took a while for the two to break the kiss and they both looked at each other for a few seconds.

Phil would have loved to ask questions, but he knew Scarlett too well by now. He wouldn't get any answers and he realized - it was okay with him. Phil loved this difficult girl just the way she is. On the other hand, Scarlett knew she didn't owe Phil a question and answer. He accepted her as she is, even though she didn't really know who she was by herself.

Scarlett broke the silence and with a look at Phil she said, "Thanks."

And that was the end of the matter for both of them. Much between the two was unspoken and would remain so for many years to come. But they are teenagers and not perfect. And yet there's nothing Phil would change right now.

Regaining his casual and relaxed demeanor, he put his hands in his pockets and gave Scarlett a crooked smile.

“I have to sit in the sun for 6 more minutes. Would you like to read through the latest Valorant patch notes with me?”

"Not really, but you'd tell me later anyway. And why in the sun? What about your noble pallor?”

Phil laughed, "I told Reva that too."

And so they both went back. Back to the place in the sun. Back to their everyday life.

#12 month of magic #hpma #hp12mom #harry potter #hogwarts #magic awakened #Temper #Phil Baker #scarlett tempest #Phil x Scarlett #reva amari #rory mctavish

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haresvoid · 8 months

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Not to be a brain eating defender but 12 a year really isn't that much compared to all the assholes walking around with potential edible brains

#THE SCHOLAR. ooc #( had to be kind of a dick to get this line but #listen ive killed more than 12 assholes just in one fight #of course 12 x the numerous amount of mind flayers is way more but #but ome gets a pass i think tho they are still trying to decrease need #and tbh who knows if one a month is after magical experimentation already tbh )

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apersonwholikeslotus · 9 months

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#not to rant but we're still months away from any major holiday and i'm already pissed at my grandma #bc this year she's crying over how we're not going to be with them for thanksgiving #even though last year it was like pulling teeth to get everyone together but this year they can all magically go on an out of state trip #without us #to the place that we used to go every single year as a family vacation #it's just shitty #not to mention i know she hates us and this is all just for show #she's just plain mean to me every single time i see her #like i've cried afterwords the past four times i've talked to her #she's so mean to my little brother for just fucking being himself #she wants him to be 'normal' so badly like???? he is??? fuck off??#then she told my 12 YEAR OLD SISTER she's too loud mouthed and will never get a husband if she stays that way #and how dare we all get upset at her over those things #she legitimately hates us bc she wants us to be one way and we won't be the way she wants #im just #hhhhhhhhh

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chisatowo · 2 years

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Decided to tweak Pent's design a bit and decided to make her a new ref while I was at it! MUCH happier with this design

#keese draws #oc art #oc #ocs #furry #furry art #sfw furry #oc posting #pent my belovedddd #I hope that with this design I have an easier time drawing her since I rly do wanna draw her more #but yeah bitches who walked into a clothing store and immediately go for ripped up shit with big pockets #but yeah my main issue with her old design is that it just felt too plain to me?#she just wasnt very shaped is what I mean her siouette kinda sucked #I just realised I dont think i ever explained pent's basic deal? uhhh #ok basically she used to live in a small town but then uh oh town was attacked and she got hurt rip #next time she woke up she was in cake's lab and freaked the fuck out and hid in the vents until she passed out again and woke up again a #few months later rinse and repeat for like 4 years (she was 8 whem the town was attacked)#when she was around 12 she finally stopped instantly running away since the friend she liked to hang out with in the lab left and she was #able to be slowly more stabalised physically but she still needed to replenish the magic keeping her alive every now and them #she stuck around willingly for much longer than she wanted to since she was scared of cake and found tge other ppl living there annoying #but she wanted to actually recover as much as she could have since as mean as she is her parents always drilled into her head how rude it #was to run off before a doctor is done helping and undo their hard work #but eventually she started getting really homesick and feelimg real cooped up since nome of them were allowed outside and decided she #wanted out but cake was like. no lol. and at that point she started getting more actively agressive and cruel to the other residents #most of them didnt want to be here either but she was likr 13 and freaking the fuck out so its understandable #eventually some melody stuff and some ari stuff colides in the lab which lets most of the other patients leave along with pent #and then applebounce has a breakdown but thats not that important to pent rn #pent wants to run off and go home but she cant actually go too far from the lab since she still needs magic recharges #enter bud and daisy being kidnapped and pent sees the two freaking out and seea bud and is like oh shit is that my old friend #and Im out of tags rip

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hphmmatthewluther · 10 months

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June: Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests

I've finally found time to do a prompt for @hp-12monthsofmagic !! I took a somewhat unorthodox approach to the prompt, but either way I hope everyone likes it!!

All ocs involved are my own, but there's a lil reference to @the-al-chemist 's Hexley Saga in there too!

(a cute picrew of a sleepy matt i made a while back as a bonus)

Oftentimes in Wizarding Education, certain students will come across their own ancestors within the school curriculum, or perhaps the precise spell or potion required for them to surpass a problem they are facing at the time. We therefore give leniency whenever said students decide to be a little snarky when it comes to things that appear in their N.E.W.T. exam which may have either helped them in their school years, or perhaps tried to kill them. Some examples from both recent years and in the past are shown below to show examiners what sort of sarcastic jabs to accept (after all, it is technically a form of showing your working.) - Professor Tofty

Defence against the Dark Arts : True or False: All forms a Boggart can take can be transformed into something to be laughed at with Riddikulus or defeated at all. Explain your answer.

“False - sometimes the fears they show are too traumatic or inescapable to be changed by Riddikulus. However, the statement also says that they cannot be defeated at all, which according to conventional magic is true but recent developments in wandless magic mean that boggarts can be transformed into things that provide hope with the spell Gratia Salutaris (If this has not been recognised by the curriculum yet, I apologise)” - Matthew Luther, 1991 (he would make several more apologies in his answers throughout the exams)

Herbology: Outline and Evaluate the use of flesh-eating slugs to clear weeds of magical and non-magical varieties.

“To use flesh-eating slugs would be a disastrous idea for a variety of reasons, for instance the possible damage they could do to the magic of the natural area if they are allowed to graze freely much like miniature cattle, the fact that they are unable to discriminate between what qualifies as a weed and what is a desired plant, that the use of the word “weed” is fundamentally flawed as it removes any possible uses the plant might have; as a matter of fact these slugs might accidentally destroy a weed which holds the cure for dragon pox within, just because some fool thought it didn’t fit with his lawn. The flesh-eating may also be a problem, I suppose.” - Atticus Doherty, 1890’s (this is one of 19 examples of snark within Mr Doherty’s Herbology N.E.W.T. answers)

Care of Magical Creatures: Explain why Acromantula in Britain have been deemed unapproachable despite them being sentient creatures.

“Because they’re all, pardon my French, assholes. In a place like New York, an acromantula’s gonna be all too willing to help you out if a sorcerer gets lost in that brilliant, sprawling city. In Britain, meanwhile, they wouldn’t even lift a leg to help a student out who got trapped in a Forest, even if they’d been cursed with sleepwalking and unable to wake up until some crystal in a Vault got broken. The Acromantula just thinks that all that means a free meal, and until they stop seeing humans in need as free meals, they’re not gonna get to join the cool spiders in New York, who actually contribute to society, like how they inspired Spider-Man.” - Mayson Kowalski, 1992 (MACUSA recently asked if they could use Mr Kowalski’s answers to help inform their travel brochures to the magical part of New York City.)

Potions: “Amortentia should be made illegal.” To what extent do you agree, using evidence from your knowledge of potion-making?

“Amortentia is quite possibly one of the most dangerous potions in existence and yet it is still often sold very freely from joke shops. While I understand that their use is something of a tradition, it is one that needs to be halted as soon as possible. While the moral reasons for limiting the use of the potion are obvious, in terms of potion-making there is no general consensus in the potioneering community on just how powerful Amortentia can be, what the long-term effects of its use are, or if it can have a negative impact during pregnancy (trialling of which would be very much unethical, even by Wizarding standards). Furthermore, when brewed incorrectly the potion can gather something of an intelligence in order to create hallucinations and entice nearby people to drink from it, which directly contravenes ethical guidelines on trust towards intelligent magical items that lack an obvious physical brain. If I were to list the moral reasons too, I would be here all day.” - Joseph J. Luther, 1991 (examiners reported twice as much “unprofessional” language from this question than any other question)

Divination: Predict how many marks you will receive for your answer to this question based on your own chosen method of divining future events.

“From my predictions, I foresee that I will get full marks, on this question at least. Of course, this is partially influenced by how much I want to get a good score, as well as the general loopiness of this question. Furthermore, it lets me do something rather interesting to demonstrate my divinatory power, namely that every time someone reads over this answer, a bird will fly just outside the window. If I’m right, you can give me full marks!” - Jane Luther, 2015 (Ms. Luther’s exams are to be held in the Department of Mysteries once they have been marked and whatever magic her answers have caused has been cleaned up, and you are asked to scorch out her questions on this example sheet when you are done with it, not only for the sake of our understanding of magic, but so that you do not have a flock of birds outside your window - something Professor Tofty discovered the hard way.)

Charms: Explain why the use of chronomancy is so limited for sorcerers.

“The main reason is that human reflexes aren’t capable of the constant exact rhythm needed to perform time magic. Sort of like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time, a sorcerer would need to perform so many movements at such precise times that it is likely that they would never get more than a few seconds backwards or forwards on their own, barring freak accidents. To combat this though, I think that the use of non-magical technologies such as clockwork could be vital in solving this. With something like a pocket watch a person could use the precise rhythms created by gears and mechanisms to complete that part of the spell and hey presto, chronomancy is far easier!” -Frederick Graham, 1890s. (While this was marked harshly at the time, when Mr. Graham helped to invent the time turner soon after leaving school his grade was retroactively raised from a P to an E, and that marker was fired for incompetence and a general lack of creativity.)

History of Magic: Why was there a degree of resistance to the creation of Hogwarts in the 10th century?

“Simply put, the many lords and nobles of the British Isles at the time all had something of a temper tantrum when it was suggested that the mages they relied on should be treated with a modicum of respect and privacy. They tried their hardest to convince sorcerers working for them to actively combat any attempt to make Hogwarts a reality, helped in part by the Silver Kingdom of the Changelings. However, it could be argued that this was more a hindrance than a help as it soon tied the nobles to the fate of the Silver Kingdom, but because the question only asked “why” I can simply leave my answer here.” - Trinity Reynolds, 1999 (History of Magic has seen a remarkable increase of snark in recent years after the sucking off (the technical term for a ghost moving on to the afterlife) of Professor Binns.)

These examples form a common trend of trying to cope with the immense pressure that N.E.W.T.s bring to students of Hogwarts. While it is certainly true that they must revise a great deal of content and write it in a way that is understandable, the manner of how they present that information is mostly up to them; thus, being teenagers almost finished with schooling and likely in a swelteringly hot room, showing one’s work through snark becomes a desirable option, and one that we have grown to accommodate for. - Professor Tofty.

#12 months of magic #hphm #hp victorian era #hpma #golden era #matthew luther #atticus doherty #jane luther #mayson kowalski #trinity reynolds

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concubuck · 2 years

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What kind of birth control do succubi use?

By and large, succubi use the same birth control techniques as humans! Condoms, pills, injections, et cetera.

Now, obviously this doesn't mean they can use the exact same birth control—a succubus can't buy a Plan B pill in the human realm and expect it to work the same! (In emergencies if we happen to be stranded on Earth, doctors advise a succubus to take two Plan B doses as soon as possible a third six hours later, a fourth six hours after that, and a fifth the next day—and plan to spend the next two days with your face in a toilet.)

And there's some important biological differences between the species. For example: no menstrual cycles. And spermicides are much less effective, because succubi can be fertilized by dead sperm.

But with a few caveats and slight differences in the medication to account for hormonal differences, the techniques themselves are roughly the same.

Personally, at any given time I'm on six forms of birth control:

A copper IUD that repels sperm for something over a decade

A little surgical implant that hormonally seals off the womb and ovaries for five years

A gel that blocks sperm from entering semen for a little over a year

A temporary tattoo that magically reduces fertility, reapply every eight months

A shot every three months that both suppresses eggs and reduces sperm count—that's the newest thing, very convenient for shapeshifters

A ring that's switched out every five weeks

... In short, just about everything on the market short of sterilization that doesn't require you to remember it every day. And I'll put on a condom if asked, of course, but I'm terrible about asking for them myself.

#((ive said since the start of the blog 'he's on 6 forms of birth control' but after looking them up i didn't bother to write them down))#((so i had to look them up all over again lol))#((*almost* everything on the list is real))#((the gel is called ADAM and is nearing human trials but isn't on the market IRL yet))#((the 3 month shot is real but only affects eggs. thus far there are no known humans that produce both eggs & sperm so that'd be overkill))#((the magical tattoo is obv fake but there ARE tattoos designed to disappear after 10 to 12 months; but by 6 months they're really faint.))#((no medical uses for the fading tattoos tho they just look neat))#((everything else on the list is real))#anonymous #ask #on air and online (broadcasting)

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sherlocks-bitch-moriarty · 25 days

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I’m a doctor who blog again, sorry.

#david whoosh #I am finally caught up #re watched 11 #and did 12 #13 #14 #and the beginning of 15 #10 years of doctor who in like two months #all because of a FUCKING MAGIC THE GATHERINE CARD COLLAB

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haileys-out2 · 2 months

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I’ve been told to make this caption from one of my photos (yes this is me in the photo). I have no control over any of this, I’ve been told what tags to use and how long the post is to be pinned to the top of my page. 😥

The post is up for three months (until June 8) and I am scared about how long I’ll get!!

P-p-please be nice. I d-d-don’t want my life ruined!! 😭😭😭

Update. If this post hits 100 REBLOGS I have to get a larger plug and dildo.

Update 2. You are all mean (specially @count-alta with your 20-odd reblogs)😤😭😭 I now have to get a larger plug and dildo. If it gets to 300 REBLOGS then I have to make a Discord server to show that I am in fact wearing the cage and plug 😭😭😭😭 this is getting both out of control and expensive

Update 3. It hasn’t even been a week. 😢😢 I’ve been instructed to add note milestones. I’ve only been given a couple for now but more will be added if any of you suggest something my dominant likes.

Update 4. I’m back from a brief hiatus from Tumblr while I settled into a new job, and I discovered that this post really took off. I now have to make discord (coming soon) and I’ve been given a new Reblog MILESTONE. If this post reaches 500 Reblogs I will have to start HRT. If it hits 1000 Reblogs then I have to find a man to fuck me on camera 😭😭😭😭. Please be nice.

Update 5: whelp it’s done. My Discord server is live

1500 notes: I have to keep myself hairless from the nose down.

1700 notes: Make an Amazon Wishlist and add 100 toys and clothes for anyone to buy. Anyone who buys them will get a free show with what they bought

1800 notes: my hair must be grown out

2000 notes: I have to resume my BambiSleeps regimen

2500 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week

2750 notes: I now have listen to Bambi sleeps every morning, afternoon and night on my days off

3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min

3250 notes: I have to start using she/her pronouns

3500 notes: I have start wearing a bra everyday

3750 notes: Use a large plug now

4000 notes: I have to start an OF (ManyVids and webcamming as well once I find a better living arrangement)

4250: I have to film myself suck cock

4500 notes: i can only ever cum from anal

5000 notes: I can only wear androgynous clothing. Nothing overtly masculine

5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min

5400 notes: Listen to Bambisleep hypno every time I do anal

6000 notes: edge with a Hitachi magic wand for 30 once a week

6500 notes: start using a ball gag whenever I do anal

7100 notes: Once a week I have to film myself anal training and share it to the discord channel

8000 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min

8500 notes: I must listen to ALL hypno that is sent to me

9000 notes: The Hitachi edging session becomes twice a week

12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cock

13200 notes: Use an XL plug now

13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy

15000 notes: I have to get either bottom surgery or an orchiectomy

20000 notes: I have to be spit roasted

25000 notes: I have to be the center of a Blow Bang

32500 notes: I have to be the center of a Gangbang 😳😳😳

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