#2022 has been insane and if there's one thing I learned: I will never regret choosing myself and what is best for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bvckandeddie · 4 months

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Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

i was tagged by @captain-hen, thank you! 🥰

i was tempted to skip the top five blorbos/fandoms/pairings section because let's be honest, it's really only been buck and eddie for the entire year, but i do have other interests even if i'm not as involved in them as i am in buddie. so enjoy learning more about my ao3 history, i guess? 😂

top 5 blorbos:

evan "buck" buckley (9-1-1)

eddie diaz (9-1-1)

roy kent (ted lasso)

clint barton (marvel)

billy butcher (the boys) (i literally started watching this show two weeks ago but y'know what? i'm adding it. butcher is just so blorbo shaped.)

top 5 fandoms:

9-1-1

avatar: the last airbender (for anyone who doesn't know, my atla sideblog is @zukkababey!)

marvel

ted lasso

teen wolf

top 5 pairings:

evan buckley/eddie diaz (9-1-1)

roy kent/jamie tartt (ted lasso)

clint barton/bucky barnes (marvel)

arthur/eames (inception)

billy butcher/hughie campbell (the boys)

shoutout to some new friends:

i've talked to so many new people this year who have really made me feel included in the 9-1-1 fandom, namely @devirnis, @colonoscopys, @shitouttabuck, @housewifebuck, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @vampbuckley and @buck2eddie. i love seeing you all in my notifications, and so many of you have been so encouraging, especially during my writing drought that's been persisting for months. y'all are great 🥹🫶

shoutout to some old friends:

i'm kinda new here but @eddiediaaz, i'm pretty sure you were my first ever 9-1-1 mutual that i talked to and you really made me feel so so welcome in the fandom when i posted my first buddie fic back in 2022. i will always be grateful for that and you!!! ❤️

favourite creation you posted this year:

it's definitely gotta be what a heart can do. i love dad buck so much, i had such a fun time writing it, and i think it's some of my best storytelling. it makes me really happy that so many people have read and enjoyed it!

favourite creation posted by someone else this year:

THIS VIDEO by @butchdiaz. holy fucking shit. i'm sure everyone reading this has already seen it, but ohhhhh my god. this video rearranged my molecules. i can't listen to ceilings without thinking about it. the way you edited it to match so many important buddie moments, it genuinely makes me feel so insane. i re-watched it last night and i'm still vibrating just thinking about it.

people who brightened your year:

so many people!!! @negansmiith made a graphic for hurt locker that basically made my whole year! it is saved in my camera roll and i look back on it frequently. 🥰 @housewifebuck made a beautiful hat that i am genuinely obsessed with. check out their shop!!! anyone who has ever read my silly tags on a post i reblogged and dm'd me to chat about it—i love you.

anyone else you'd like to mention:

everyone who has read my fics or commented on them telling me your thoughts, thank you. seriously. just know that when i read your comment(s), i was twirling my hair and kicking my feet back and forth and squealing and smiling so hard my cheeks started to hurt. every single comment made 2023 that much brighter.

five of your favourite authors this year:

@gayhoediaz - every time i get an email that you've posted a buddie fic, i know that i have a bedtime story for that night. i know it's gonna be a good one, every single time.

@devirnis - i read your fic about buck and eddie ring shopping and getting caught up in a robbery and i've never looked back. i've read so many of your fics this year (and tbh, thank god i still have more to read) and i'm looking forward to reading all the ones that you have in the works!!!

@colonoscopys - i’m pretty sure that i binged basically all of your fics this year and i don’t regret a single thing (except maybe going through them too fast). god, i love your writing.

@rewritetheending - gosh the way you’re able to get to the heart of emotions and describe them in a way that puts an ache in my chest makes me want to claw the ground until my fingernails break off. my fave fic of yours is still while we do what lovers do and i know it wasn’t posted in 2023 but i needed to shout it out here because goddddddd. i still think about it all the time.

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels - i enjoyed reading your halloween fics this year so much, particularly your dark buddie au. sometimes you just gotta imagine your wholesome, already in love blorbos be absolutely unhinged and crazy about each other, and that’s perfectly normal. i actually remember looking for a dark buddie fic when i first joined the fandom and there were none, so i’m glad my wish was fulfilled, especially when it was done so damn well.

five of your favourite artists/gifmakers/podficcers/etc. this year:

@try-set-me-on-fire - you could have gone under fave authors too, but i fucking love your art style. i don't know art terms so forgive me, but something about the messiness and abstractness scratches this itch deep in my brain and they evoke such unnameable feelings that want to burst out of my ribcage. ugh!!!!!! if you sold prints i'd be checking out in two seconds flat.

@butchdiaz - i know i already waxed poetic about your ceilings edit, but i love your edits/gifs too, particularly this one. it's so simple but so beautiful and fucking devastating. the gif aspect is subtle but intentional (buck fading to black and white while the blood stays red?????? KILL ME!). i'd eat your gifs if i could.

@shitouttabuck - you could go under fave authors too (hello i love you like a dog fic) but i wanted to shout you out here because you are so fucking funny. every single edit you post makes me giggle out loud. tbh i didn't even realize they were all from you until i started scrolling through your edit tag looking for this post. i can't get over it. i literally laughed at it AGAIN when i found it.

@eddiediaaz - you are constantly feeding the 911 fandom. you make so many gifsets on so many different sideblogs that i'm sure no one actually knows how many gifs you're constantly making. and every single one is so goddamn good??? and they're so creative. like this one??? there are so many things going on, i can't even fathom how the hell you did it. gifmakers are magic, i swear.

@iinryer - YOUR ART FUELS ME. your style is so *clenches fist* fucking cool. the lines are simple but they still look like the characters?? i admire that so, so much because i know if i ever tried that they'd look so wonky, lol. i think about juice box chim all the damn time and i don't know where i've been lately but this one with buck and chris??? it's so soft and sweet and vulnerable, with the way buck is holding him and chris is nestled. GOD. everything you make is gold.

three (+1) things you're looking forward to in 2024:

getting my masters degree!

getting a job, maybe???

posting more buddie fic 👀

+ season 7 of 911, obviously.

i’m sure i’ve missed some people inadvertently but this was really fun to do! at this time of year, with the short days and cold weather (at least for some of us), i think we could all do with a little bit of joy and a brighter day. i really love this fandom and i'm so grateful to be a part of it!

tagging everyone i mentioned in this post, if you haven’t already done it and want to participate! ❤️

#tag games

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meme-queen-pumpkin · 1 month

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Starters/prompts from movies: Scrooge (2022)

These starters are all quotes taken from the 2022 Animated version of a Christmas Carol

Buckle in, this is a loooong one because I found so many good quotes to use! This movie just has some amazing dialogue, songs, etc. So I will put it under a read more so as it doesn't clutter up blogs and such! Let's just say I got to 74 before reaching the movie's half way point

Senders, feel free to send in a starter from the rather long list, and maybe add context or ideas for a plot too if you want!

"Oi, watch where you're walking, you great clumsy lump!"

"Didn't realise it was you."

""It is you! I knew it!"

"Where is she? Where's the finest lady in all of London?"

"They say a man makes his own luck...so I suppose I have only myself to blame for this encounter."

"How rude!"

"He's rubbish!"

"An artist would get more than a penny for every thousand posters he sticks up..."

"Quick! Leg it!"

"You! Who are you?!"

"I've more than my fill of people for one...day..."

"She knows a shortcut!"

"The answer is no"

"I despise it and all it stands for."

"The same answer to the same question you ask me every year"

"Life is full of disappointments"

"Please leave, before I say something you will regret."

"You do nothing but trouble me..."

"Yes. As everyone is so fond of..telling me..."

"You have children? Of course you do...."

"Does that sound fair to you?"

"What? What have I done now?"

"10 pence ha'penny! Add that to the ten shillings I have, and add a bit of (name) magic and we can have as fine a dinner as the lord mayor himself!"

"Oh don't be so dramatic.."

"No? No pleasing some people..."

"Every year...the same reminders of the things I've lost..."

"Why should I be bright and merry?"

"Won't someone tell me? Tell me!"

"Seasons greetings? You can keep them."

"Don't they know I have my reasons?"

"I'm not happy so why should they be?"

"Bring them down to size!"

"Treat them tougher!"

"I thought you were dead" "Dead? Dead tired!"

"Sorry for the dramatic entrance, those in charge insist on a touch of pageantry, you see?"

"We were all like you. Trapped in our own selfish worlds!"

"Heed my warning. Before it's too late."

"It's that (name)..interfering. Bringing my blood to the boil. Has me jumping at shadows..."

"It's (Name), Isn't it? Yes, that's the one! (Name)! What a funny name!"

"Who...or err...what are you?"

"Who am I? Why! I can be anyone you've ever known! I can even be you!"

"I was getting to that. You are an impatient one, aren't you? Now shhh!"

"I've gone mad..."

"Mad you say?"

"My dreams are never this exciting...but none of this can be real. So yes, I must be awake....and quite insane."

"Oh hush now."

"There. Did that feel real?"

"It does take it's toll, (action or whatever), Did I not warn you?"

"(Blank). A terrible, terrible thing, a (blank). Uh...What is a (blank) again?"

"You can't escape your past, mate"

"May all your (blank) wishes come true."

"I wanted to give you this. I made it all by myself!"

"A sorry transaction in any currency..."

"You were handsome/pretty. What went wrong?"

"Who's her/him?! Where's her/him?!"

"My! You look splendid!"

"Oh! Look away!"

"But you didn't/don't enjoy it?" "Not one bit" "*sarcastic*Oh yes, you look like you're having an awful time!"

"They say happiness is a thing see, a thing you can't touch. I disagree"

"Happiness is the folly of fools, pity poor me. One of those fools."

"Happiness is standing beside me, I can see him/her. He/She can see me."

"Happiness is a bright star. Are we happy? Yes we are!"

"No? Well I would very much like to see why not!"

"I do wish you'd stop doing that.."

"I would say it's been a pleasure. But it has not."

"I thought....I don't know what I thought..."

"You do so dwell on the bad things in life and then learn nothing from them."

"Not now (name), I have far too much work...later. Later."

"You keep on telling me later...but later never comes around.."

"Please stop telling me later..."

"When we first met...your heart was free..."

"Now you're looking for something...something I could never be.."

"You are really all I need..."

"Take my hand, come with me now and we'll fly free!"

"No more later, we both know that's a lie."

"Don't let this be the day I say goodbye."

"There is no later!"

"Goodbye, (name)..."

"That could have been you..I suppose. Oh too bad."

"There is no going back, nor changing what has been."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was (name), she/he/they dared me. Oh we do have fun here."

"Where am I? When am I?"

"You are in the here and now! Isn't it fabulous?!"

"I make life a perpetual spree."

"Life has it's brighter side too!"

"Who'd like the privelage to dine me?"

"Life is short, make it count!"

"Life is a wonderful thing for living!"

"Are you ready?!" "Oh I'm ready. Ready to go home!"

"Hit the town? I'll hit something else in a minute!"

"No? Well did you ever ask him/her/them?"

"He/she/they assured me that times are hard." "Times are hard For us. Not him/her/them."

"This beautiful day that I dream about, there's a world I would love to see. It's a beautiful place where the sun comes out and shines in the sky for me."

"There's no place I would rather be."

"The future is as much a mystery to me as it is to you."

"There is no great secret to any of this. You just have to do the best you can with the time you have."

"Would ya look at that?"

"Your colleagues were really rather fond of speaking...more than I would have liked."

"I live my life as well as I can. I have my faults but who doesn't?"

"Very well, lead on..."

"On behalf of all the people who have gathered here, I would merely like to mention if I may (Insert speech or dialogue)"

"Our unanimous attitude is one of lasting gratitude for what our friend has done for us today."

"Thank you very much. That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me!"

"It isn't everyday good fortune comes your way!"

"I could've done more...I could've done something..." (Angsty potential. Major angst)

"I wouldn't hang around for any mourners mate, nobody's sorry to see this one go."

"I will not become this man whose death is the cause of so much celebration."

"Why show me this if I am past all hope?"

"I'm glad (name) found the happiness she/he/they deserved. Perhaps it's not too late for me to find my own."

"I'll begin again, I'll rebuild my life."

"I'll live to know I've fulfilled my life."

"The future I make will be one that will last."

"I'll make quite certain that the story ends on a note of hope."

#rp resources #rp meme #rp resource #movie quotes #quotes

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imstillhere-butallislost · 11 months

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1 Year On Testosterone, Androgel Timeline Update

June 10th marks my 1 year on testosterone, and although this post is probably posted after that date, I thought i'd make a big 1 year update on my timeline on (low dose) androgel. Here you'll find my thoughts on using gel instead of shots, my current and future transition plans ,thoughts on still not passing one year on T, and my full timeline of changes. I imagine this will be a very long post, so buckle up. Feel free to ask or DM me any questions

My starting dose in June of 2022 was 1 pump of 1% androgel daily, which has 12.5mg of testosterone. In December of 2022 my dose was upped to 2 pumps of the same gel, so 25mg of testosterone applied daily. The gel has the same consistency as hand sinitizer and dries within 20 or so seconds when applied. The gel has risk of transferring to other people or harming pets, especially within that first hour of applying. If you go on gel, be careful about tranfering it to people who might not want extra testosterone in their system. That being said, one year on androgel, and I have had no issues with tranfering the gel to other people or harming my 2 cats and dog. I started off applying the gel to my left upper arm and shoulder, but occasionally switched to my right arm and shoulder, but recently have been applying the gel to my abdomen

Now onto the timeline part

The immediate and most impactful effect was the change testosterone had on my mood. I struggled with depression for all of my life, and suddenly that was just gone. One year on T, and I am happy (as well as EXTREMELY surprised) to say that I don't have depression anymore. I have a lot more energy, I'm rarely sad these days, let alone depressed. This won't be the case for everone, but it was the case for me. 4 days on testosterone I was flexing as I passed mirrors, not proud of that

one. I also noticed that my general body temperature went up, I have bad circulation so my hands used to always be cold, and that has lessened. Also within the first

month, I noticed increased hair growth. Stomach hair, and also hair where I applied the gel on my arm. Just a little bit more, but noticable. My labido went up a lot, like it was insane. I was able to gain muscle mass easier. I started growing hair on my thighs, which I never had before. I also noticed a small amount of facial hair growth.

Not many more changes happened until my dose was upped in December, because I was started on a really, low dose and still am on a fairly low dose. after getting my dose upped to 2 pumps of gel, I did start actually noticing bottom growth, but looking back i'm sure I did have some amount of bottom growth before December, but it definitely got more noticable when the dose was upped. Around mid February, my voice had some drastic changes. The median of my voice used to be 190-200hz, and now it's 130-140hz. Technically in the "male range", but I still don't think my voice passes, maybe it's androgynous. The voice drop was rather sudden, although not extremely drastic. I had to sort of learn how to speak properly again without my voice cracking, not being used to the new range. Before my voice even got lower, I knew it was going to drop soon because I noticed it just couldnt go higher like it used too. My voice drop started with losing the higher range rather then going lower. I've noticed that my body fat has I think begun to redistribute, I hold a lot of fat in my stomach rather then hips. I never dealt with much acne on my face, but my back around the left shoulder where I first applied my testosterone has a lot of acne. Hair growth has continued, which honestly has been one of my favourite things. I never thought i'd have such a strong attachment to stomach hair. I still have my period, which absolutely sucks.

Thoughts On Not Passing One Year On T

I'm still not where I want to be one year on T, and that is a little bit hard on me. I'm not saying I regret it, because testosterone is the best thing that has ever happened for me, but it's a special kind of hurt seeing other people with the same timeline that i'm on that pass while I still don't. which is exactly why I think I wanted to add this part in here. I still don't pass as male, while being one year on T. I think maybe starting T made me feel more present in my body, which is good, but also led me to have to really face all of the dysphoria and issues I have with myself. I used to be able to ignore it by dissociating, without even realizing that that's what I was doing. Being misgendered has just begun to hurt more, because now it feels like a failure on my part (or my bodys part) because I can get angry, asking myself why after a year on tesosterone I still am not passing. It leaves me afraid, I think. Maybe I always testosterone was THE thing I needed and then i'd pass consistently after just a couple of months, but that just didn't happen for me. I assumed that it would just be easy. I think that has to do a lot with the culture when I came out. People didn't share timelines if they were unhappy or non passing, or if they did they were laughed off the internet. This is because I started questioning my gender around 2016, and came out in early 2018, where "SJW TRANS CRINGE COMPILATION" was like... the norm on YouTube.

People shared a lot less of their struggles in fear of being lumped into that and being harassed, or they just felt like maybe during those times the passing trans people should take the stage because it was easier for cis people to digest and understand. I don't blame anyone for not sharing the hard parts of their medical transition, because this is very personal stuff and people will question you if you say youre not 1000% happy to be where you are, but i'm glad that I see more people talking about not being satisfied with how their transition is going, and how they still don't pass X amount of time into being on testosterone. It's nice to see posts and videos and timeline updates like that. These things take different amount of times for different people, and that's alright.

It's hard, but I'm alright with it. The fact that I am where I am at all is something i never thought i'd get to at all. I'm proud to be where I am, when I think about it.

Testosterone has helped me greatly. I'm a happy person now, happiest i've ever been, and I see a future for myself now. A very happy one. Without even passing, testosterone has helped me so much. Just internally. I don't know how much of my happiness comes from just having consistent hormone levels everyday, or if my depression was just all a manifestation of background dysphoria that is being directly treated by hormone therapy now.

On Gel Vs. Shots and Dosage

I'm not really sure what made me decide to take gel rather than the shots, but I was adment on gel. I don't know how I feel about that decision in the long run.

For cons about the gel, it's expensive.

Around $200CAD every 2 months. It's really hard without insurance. I don't think my changes have been slow because of gel,

just because of my low dose. It's hard to contact my endo, and they even sent bloodwork paper to the wrong location, so generally it's been a bit hard to get my dose upped. I also started T as a minor (17) so that is specifically why I was kept on a low dose to start with. I'm assuming that now that i'm an adult, it will be easier to get my dosage upped. Being on the gel I also kind of feel, not left out, but not really a part of the classic transmasc doing their T shot experience, which I did always assume i'd do when I was 12-13 and I first came out because I didn't know gel was an option. These days, there's more talk of gel and patches, which I think is definitely good for people exploring their testosterone options.

For pros of gel, consistant hormone levels daily is very very good for me I find. There's no big spikes and low lows like there would be with weekly or biweekly shots, it's just daily consistent levels. I can feel kind of bad if I miss a day of gel, which i'm unsure if that is caused by me mentally knowing that I don't have testosterone for that day. or if that's actually just due to not having the regular hormones that I get daily. This is one of the reasons Why i'm unsure about switching to shots despite the expense of the gel. I don't think I would do good at all with such major fluctuations to my hormone levels, and it's not something I really want to play around with in fear of my mental health declining again with big hormone fluctuations like that. I also like the little daily routine of putting on gel everyday, it fits into my routine well and I feel i'm more likely to remember a daily routine rather then weekly or biweekly

I think often about maybe switching to shots, but I just don't know if the increased risk to my mental health with big hormone fluctiations is at all worth it.

I'm hoping to ask my endo about 1.62% gel and if its available in my area, because it has a higher concentration of testosterone and one pump would nearly be my current dose of 2 pumps of 1% gel, so id need to refill it the same amount of time for a bigger dose, instead of doing 3 pumps of the 1% gel, which I would need to refill more frequently which would cost more money more often.

Uncertainty of Medical Transition

This may be a shock considering i've been talking about how much medical transition has helped me, but I want sure if I even wanted to go on testosterone at all at one point. I've been out for from ages 12-18, and flip flopped on what I wanted many times. I knew I wanted to be on testosterone when I first came out, but that waned with time. I think after being out for so long without medical internevntion, the idea seemed so far away, I sort of let myself believe that it would never be able to happen. I let myself believe that maybe I didn't want to medically transition, becuase it was easier then addressing the fact that it would take a lot of time and it would be a hard process that I didnt know how to start it. It was a hard, confusing process to get hRT as a minor. There want just a quick guide for my area that I could find, if there was one at all it was in the depths of a website that hadnt been updated in a decade and was hard to traverse. I was at the appointment to get my perscription, uncertain about it. I took the step anyway, holding on to that sliver of hope that maybe I could actually have that life I dreamed of as a child

It turns out that going on testosterone was the best decision i've ever made. I'm glad, and i'm very lucky, that I stepped into the unknown.

The Future of My Transition

I'm largely happy, hoping that my testosterone dose gets upped again soon. I'm hoping to actually start passing with an upped dose, too.

I'm in the process for top surgery, which is another thing I thought could NEVER happen to me. So far out of reach, for more fortunate people, but this month i'm going to be sending all my forms in to see if my top surgery can get covered. I could have top surgery within the year. I have never been more happy in my entire life.

I think that's really all, My life is going good. I'm generally happy with my medical transition, despite not being exactly at the point where I want to be, but every single day gets a little bit easier for me. Feel free to look back on some of my other update posts, which i'm sure go more in depth, and of course ask me any questions. I'm happy to share, I know timelines on gel are a little bit harder to find.

If anybody is reading this who is considering testosterone, debating gel, or early on testosterone and trying to map out what their future will look like, I want to say hi hi hi hello. You'll be alright. You'll figure it out. You can not medically transition ever. or do it later in your life, or go on testosterone and then go off if you decide it isn't right for you. I genuinely believe that everything will all work out. Take your time, enjoy your life, there is community out there for you.

#testosterone update #testosterone #testosterone timeline #androgel #t gel #testosterone gel #1 year on t #low dose testosterone #ftm #transmasc #trans man #gay transmasc #I think that's all the tags I need #feel very free to share

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turnyourgays · 10 months

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The Usher Foundation 1: Route 66

Hey, this is a fanfiction centered on the Magnus Institute's American counterpart, the Usher Foundation. It takes place in another universe - neither the one we know and love from the Magnus Archives series nor [spoilers] where they sent the fears, but a third one, that also has the fears. I know that feels confusing but I've got my canonical reason for that planned out, so if this first installment does well then you'll get plenty of that intricate lore.

[Smartphone recorder chimes]

[ARCHIVIST clears his throat]

If you're a researcher doing a paper on spookies, congratulations, you've found the very first Usher Foundation audio statement. I'm Donovan Ellis...[sigh]...'Chief Experience Organizer' of the Usher Foundation, Washington D.C. The boss just did a pretty substantial reorganization of the place - "..needs a hip coat of paint!" he told us, which includes me dusting off the statements and putting them on the cloud. In audio form; for reasons he danced around until I gave up. On the subject...

Statement of Nicholas Sill, regarding the highway between Amarillo and Albuquerque. Originally given November 17th, 2009. Audio recorded July 4th, 2022. Statement begins.

I learned to drive at 16, and I haven't stopped since. I'm from New York - upstate, not the city - and every year when the weather gets nippy I hop in the car and drive south down to Savannah, Georgia, then west (and north) all the way to San Francisco, stopping in my favorite cities and landmarks along the way. People think I'm insane to go all that way every year, but I never felt more free than on the road.

Until this year's trip. It was going great at first. I had a great kebab in Atlanta, saw some live music in Nashville, and after hanging out with a girl in Amarillo I was feeling on top of the world as I slid back onto the highway. The first odd thing came just before that, though. I was at an intersection, and a man dressed in a noticeably badly fitting suit was on the side of the road next to a stall that read 'DIRT OF GOD $1 / jar'. I thrive on weird social interactions, personally. Gives me stories to tell when I get home. So I rolled down my window and caught his attention, asking him what 'dirt of god' was. He shuffled awkwardly over to my car; he had very stiff legs. He was bald on the top of his head, but the hair growing on the sides was shoulder-length. He was very, very sunburned. He offered his hand, and I shook it with a smile. Up close, I noticed that his suit wasn't just too large, it was sagging. All his pockets were bulging, filled to the brim with something. He told me: 'God blessed that dirt much as he blessed this whole country'. He said it so earnestly. It felt folksy and quaint. Cozy. So I bought a jar and went on my way. I was excited for a good souvenir, but I regretted it barely a half hour later. It stunk. Like hell. I cracked the windows to help it waft out, but it barely made a dent in the, just, thickness of it. It was the smell of dirt after rain without the nostalgia. Without the fresh plants to accompany it. Just the desert. I opened my window, all the way this time, and chucked the jar.

It wasn't long before the haze started. At first, I assumed a gust of wind had blown up some dust. And then I thought a dust storm must be forming. But that wasn't it. It was a dust devil, a little tornado of sand and dirt, following alongside my car even as I accelerated faster and faster. But it span slow. Very slow, grains of it tickling the paint off my car. It then expanded gradually, not just twisting beside but twisting around. It covered my windshield, so I couldn't keep driving. I pulled over and lay down in my backseat, waiting for it to pass.

But I couldn't rest. What had once been a gentle spinning became a terrifying whirlwind. It whipped against the windows, against the roof and doors, clanging unbelievably loud. Worse, it started to blow through the air conditioner, bringing with it the smell. It wasn't just harassing me from the outside, it was choking me from the inside. The car groaned as it became gorged with dry dust, and even through my shallow breathing I realized that the car was now actively sinking. The sunlight could barely be seen through the windshield, and I watched in horror as the brown darkness rose from the bottom all the way to the top, eating the little remaining light as my car buckled and dented inwards. The windows shattered, and dirt flooded my car, my gasp of shock becoming my last clear breath for a long, long while. I crawled wildly through the ground. Every time I thought I'd gotten through a window I felt another piece of the interior, somehow turning myself around back into my flooded car over and over again, still sinking.

I barely remember what happened next. I was in a stupor of...starvation. And there was no air. But the next thing I knew I was being pulled from the ground and back into the open air. The guy who saved me called himself 'Watchman Kohr', and he gave me a ride to the airport. I meant to fly back to New York, but I decided to come here. I'm not ready for my yearly vacation to be over, even if I can't even think about getting into a car without hyperventilating. I think I'll catch a train back to New York.

Statement ends. The enigmatic 'Watchmen' make an appearance here, the completely un-researchable organization due to their shared name with a popular graphic novel. What we know is that they operate all over North America in apparently equal frequency, and that several people who've encountered them - Mr. Sill excluded - note their eyes as their most well-defined feature.

I'll be honest, I would be tempted to file Mr. Sill's experience under 'sudden psychotic break paired with odd weather', but the presence of a Watchman gives it more weight. I had Yvonne and Logan follow up on Mr. Sill, who - according to his Facebook - seems to have moved to New York City, and hasn't left since he got there in early 2010.

Recording ends.

#the magnus archives #magnus archives #tma #tma fanfic #tma fic

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cuban-feminist-that-gives-a-hoot · 1 year

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I posted 694 times in 2022

5 posts created (1%)

689 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ominous-musings

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I tagged 121 of my posts in 2022

#trails of cold steel - 9 posts

#fire emblem: three houses - 7 posts

#life is strange 2 - 5 posts

#our flag means death - 5 posts

#shin megami tensei - 4 posts

#star trek - 4 posts

#a league of their own - 3 posts

#shadow hearts - 3 posts

#lol - 3 posts

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Longest Tag: 136 characters

#will smith shouldn’t have to return an oscar over a slap like that when there’s been far uglier and worse things that has happened there

My Top Posts in 2022:

This dumb as fuck meme going around has forced me to create a positive out of everything I dislike ever: that at least the things I dislike actually exists in some capacity.

0 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Fire Emblem: Three Houses and why I'm never touching the Blue Lions ever the fuck again!

Because the Blue Lions run was the most recent run I finished, it's the freshest in my head, and thought I should give my thoughts on it, so here we go. Dimitri simps are not welcome here for this and there will be spoilers.

The Blue Lions

The Blue Lions route is by far the route that dragged the most for me of them all. My first initial impression of everyone outside of Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, or Dimitri is boring and basic as fuck. But that impression changed throughout the playthrough, with most of them rising in my impression, except for Dimitri, but we'll get to him in a second. Overall, I wouldn't play this route again unless I genuinely want to angle for that Dedue romance and I'm not sure playing this route again is worth it for this. But, let's start off with my impressions of the characters.

Sylvain: If it isn't my favorite hoe of Fodlan. He's not just your typical casanova, but someone who has a lot, and I do mean, a lot of issues with the ladies because of him being used by everyone to raise their status and become nobles by birthing Crest babies. I'm not surprised that he doesn't have A-supports with most of the ladies because of his issues and the ones he does have A-supports are Dorothea (who sees right through him), Mercedes (who has also gone through a lot due to her having a Crest), Byleth (for also seeing through him, but also helping him work through his stuff), and Ingrid (who happens to be a childhood friend of his). He's a nuanced hoe and also fun to have in the party. All of my routes have him because he's free real estate as Female Byleth. In my Black Eagles run, he was with Felix, but Blue Lions saw him get married to Ingrid.

Ashe: Unlike Sylvain, I really only got to see how good Ashe was in the Blue Lions route as I didn't recruit him in my Black Eagles run and he was the only one I wasn't able to recruit in my Golden Deer run. Ashe is such a sweetheart and a damn good Archer. I liked him a lot and strived to pair him up with Annette as I thought they'd be cute together. Ashe is a good boy and definitely worth having again.

Annette: Sadly, Annette did not get much use on her own, but she was paired with someone as their adjutant (mostly with Ashe, to grow that bond between them). But she's adorable, hard-working, and just really sweet. Didn't get much use, but that's OK. She's nice.

Ingrid: Now her? I dig her. I understand she had a lot of prejudice towards the folks from Duscar due to Glenn's death, but the fact that she does grow out of it shows the kind of growth that Ingrid does have. Unlike Dimitri, she manages to move on and develops a good bond with Dedue. Plus, as a Falcon Knight (by the end of the game), she was insanely useful and could bounce around as needed. Definitely worthy of the party.

Mercedes: My first impression of her was this: "Man, does she sound funny as fuck". But after getting to know her and learning about her past, I realized that she talks like that for a reason, but also, she's just really sweet. I honestly regret not recruiting her in my Black Eagles route as I could've learned a lot about her and Jeritza if I did that. Instead, I had to look up the context as to what I missed and it made me regret forgetting to recruit her even further. Also, she is by far the best healer out of all the healers available. The fact that her Crest allows her to heal herself when she heals others makes her a tougher, less squishy healer than anyone else. 10/10, would use her for sure.

Dedue: My main reason for playing through the Blue Lions was to romance Dedue as his romance and usage of him is route-locked to the Blue Lions. It didn't work out like that, but he's still a very useful character and I 100% do like him a lot. Enough that I worked my ass off to pair him with Flayn as I thought their support conversations were adorable. A shame that he really couldn't be recruited outside of the Blue Lions because I would do so at every turn. If I ever feel up for suffering through the Blue Lions again, I'll try to romance him.

Gilbert: What a C tier dad he is. How dare he abandon Annette and leave her all alone like that?! All because of the stuff that happened in Duscur?! Nooooo... The only reason he's not F or lower is that there are genuinely far worse dads out there in the world of Fodlan. Also, the dude lacks the courage and sense to tell Dimitri to knock his shit off and King the Fuck Up! Didn't use him, so can't talk about gameplay. Was pointless as fuck for me to do so.

Dimitri: The sole fucking reason why I hate this route. Most of the pre-time skip, he's meh at best. It's during the Holy Tomb mission that it all goes fucking downhill from there. I hate this fucking asshole so, so much. This is one angry murder hobo and unlike with Hubert or Jeritza, his murder hobo ways are a fucking detriment and ruin the entire route for me. His need for bloodlust and revenge fucked so many people over. I hate the fact that Felix lost both his father and brother because of Dimitri. Dimitri makes this route fucking unplayable and is just as bad as Noctis from FFXV when it comes to royals fucking things up by not being told to King Up and do the right thing. His fucking impatience and need to kill Edelgard dragged the war out and he outright treats Byleth like shit post-time skip by telling them to Silence and Shut up. Nah, man. Byleth wouldn't put up with that level of disrespect. Neither Claude nor Edelgard would treat her so badly after the time skip. I would've loved a route split where we take down Dimitri and have someone else step into the Lord role for the Blue Lions. And don't get me started on how his solo ending calls him the Savior King. I know that history is written by the winners, but fuck that shit. He is no savior of anything. He maintains the status quo. 0/10 - Trash character leads to trash route. Folks that love Dimitri, love yourself more than this trashcan on fire. Whatever Dimitri has, other characters do it better.

Felix: The best fucking character in the Blue Lions by far. I recruited him in both my Black Eagles and Golden Deer runs because holy fuck, he is OP as shit gameplay-wise. Story-wise, I 100% am Sympatico with him over everything that happens in the Blue Lions route. He is one of the only reasons that Blue Lions should be played as in the other routes, he gives up his position as a noble to travel, whereas, in the Blue Lions, he stays as a Noble. Felix wound up being who I romanced in my Blue Lions run, unintentionally, actually, as I forgot to talk to the Gatekeeper to have Dedue meet me, so Felix showed up at the Goddess Tower instead. Fine by me, for Felix was worth it. He's the sane man in the group and I genuinely got where he was coming from when he got pissed at what his father said after his brother, Glenn, died. If you have to play the Blue Lions again, Felix is why you should, if only for his better endings there than anything else.

The Blue Lions run would've been so, so much better if I didn't have to put up with siding with someone like Dimitri. The rest of the Blue Lions are fine and Felix is without a doubt one of the best characters in Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Blue Lions route is a -2/10. Dimitri drags that score down a lot and the best Blue Lions are recruitable outside of its main route. Unless you're thirsting for Dedue or want Felix to have a nice ending, Blue Lions is a one-and-done thing for me.

0 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

youtube

By far, the best joke in this hilarious train wreck, for as we all know this one immutable truth: money can’t buy knives.

0 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Life is Strange 2 (SPOILERS)

I finished playing it recently and I really only have one, really true way to describe the experience:

Like, holy shit is this game so much of that. So, so, so much emotional damage.

My quick thoughts:

How dare you introduce the good girl Mushroom, then allow her to get killed off without giving us the opportunity of saving her, Dontnod? That is some evil shit there. RIP Mushroom.

Sean Diaz is one of the best damn characters ever put in a video game, to the point that I 100% am never going to go for an ending where he is fucked over, either in death or in prison. He's just such a good character, trying his damn hardest to protect and take care of his little brother after the loss of their father.

Out of all the chapters, in general, that hurt, Chapter 4 is the biggest one. So much pain and emotional hurt there that it was killer.

OK, game, I know that I like going as queer as possible, but did I really have to side with Finn on doing something so incredibly stupid so that I can choose to romance him? Also, no option to bang Finn too on top of the kiss? Lame!

Dontnod threw in so much good stuff in here, both in the environment, setting, and story, that I can't help but call it a masterpiece. It blows the first Life is Strange out of the water so hard that I'm surprised that folks ignored this game over the others.

I'm sad that any new Life is Strange games will be done by Deck Nine instead of Dontnod, but this just made me want to see what other games that Dontnod has out there.

If you can get this game, get it. It is so good and will cause so much emotional wreckage, it can kill. But it is an amazing game and worth the price, even without a sale.

1 note - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fire Emblem: Three Houses and my Thoughts on the Black Eagles run

At the time of this writing, I've finished, in this order: Black Eagles, Ashen Wolves, Golden Deer, and Blue Lions. So, general thoughts first and then I'll break down each House and what I thought of their routes. All routes were done with Female Byleth. Spoilers ahead, so be forewarned. This part will be about the Black Eagles and my general thoughts.

I love this game. It is such a blast to play through and it's nice actually playing a teacher that has to help their student to get better while also having that slice of life stuff I just love a lot. Please give me more slice-of-life stuff like this in video games. Gameplay is fun, the story is great, and I do not regret buying a Switch for this and Shin Megami Tensei V. I always say that it's ethical to pirate from Nintendo, but given that I was really curious about it, I'll make an exception for my usual "Do Not Buy" policy when it comes to Nintendo.

Now, onto the Houses.

Black Eagles

The Black Eagles are, without a doubt, some of my favorite party members from start to finish and, due to me not hearing much of anything from the fandom about this route beyond "I am Ferdinand von Aegir", I thought it appropriate to pick this route first.

Man, that was one adventure I was not expecting at all!

So, the main goal of the Black Eagles can be summarized like this: A bunch of folks that believe in a meritocracy decide to team up with some evil edgelords to take out the Catholic Church and personally murder their immortal pope, who just happens to be the one the Catholic Church is named after, and can also turn into a giant dragon to wreck shit up. After taking out the Catholic Church, they then backstab the evil edgelords over time. That's pretty much what's happening in the Black Eagles route. I, for one, love this.

Edelgard is one of my favorites and I adore her goals and motivations as to why she is doing this. Taking down the Church is always a worthwhile goal and, while I do like Seteth and Flayn, I'm not fond of Catherine (who is OK with doing really fucked up shit) and Rhea (who just happens to be OK with murder without trials). Is it any wonder that at the route split, I sided with Edelgard and not the Church? Also, a minor tidbit, but the reason why she donned the moniker the Flame Emperor is one that actually flew over my head hard. I thought she named herself that because she wanted to burn the Church down. Turns out, she has the Crest of Flames along with the Crest of Seiros and that's why she's the Flame Emperor. Yeah, that flew over my head. Talk about an obvious miss there. Was clearly having 20/20 Bimbo Perception that day.

Hubert is a goth murder hobo done right. Unlike Dimitri (and we will get to him when I get to writing about the Blue Lions), his murderous tendencies are controlled. There's a purpose for why he does the heavy killing load for Edelgard. He is so loyal to her that he killed his own father for betraying her. That is how loyal he is to her. I loved his character and, unlike another Robbie Daymond-voiced murder hobo, I get where he's coming from. He's also relatively useful in combat and I do dig him as my black magic user for sure.

Linhardt is the healer of the group and I loved him the second with his quick intro: "Lindhardt. Goodbye". Quick, efficient, and shows exactly the kind of character he is. He's the one I relate to the most in the Black Eagles route: I too want nothing more to do than to sleep, shirk off hard work, and study all the time. He was an instant recruit from me when I played the other runs, if only because I didn't want to kill him.

Petra is my main swordswoman and I generally love her story arc, with her being technically a prisoner from her homeland of Brigid. She's sweet but tough and I do like how she tries to learn the culture in Fodlan. She also was a recruit in my Golden Deer and Blue Lions runs, but sadly, she was just mainly recruited, not exactly used often due to the presence of Felix and Yuri.

Bernadetta, my adorable sweetheart! A lot of folks would find her fear of everything annoying, but the second I found out why, I was like, "OK, you are officially under my protection. Where is your fuckhead father so that I can bury his ass six feet under?" I am so disappointed that we do not even get even an iota of a chance to beat his ass in (or at least have Hubert mention killing him). In short, one of the best archers you can have, and while she was recruited in Golden Deer, I actually didn't recruit her in Blue Lions. Well. Fuck.

Caspar is fun. I like him. He's impulsive, brash, and just the fun of the Black Eagles. And a decent brawler too. A shame that he's actually sidelined in both my Golden Deer and Blue Lions runs due to Balthus (in the other three runs) and Raphael (in the Golden Deer run).

Dorothea was my Gremory (when I reached that class) by the end of the game and while she's a decent mage, she does get outclassed by both Hubert and Linhardt in my Black Eagles run. I do love her interactions with everybody, so that was fun. Definitely worth having, if only so that you don't separate her from Manuela.

I figured to add Jeritza here as he's exclusive to the Black Eagles, Crimson Flower route: He's OP as fuck. That man can take a hit and keep going. Also, another murder hobo, and given the reason why he went murder hobo, I can only say this: He was doing the Goddess Sothis' work on taking out his father and the rest of the Bartels out. I do not feel sorry for Baron Bartels for thinking he can even try... *that*. Ew. Gross as fuck.

And I saved the man, the meme himself, for last: Ferdinand von Aegir. He is not just a meme, he's an awesome character and by far, my favorite himbo in all of Fodlan. He was my Dancer in this run and may I say that he looked amazing in his Dancer outfit. Not to mention that I just loved how he interacted with everyone. Billy Kametz's performance as him is nothing short of excellent. Fun fact, I actually listened to his duet with Robbie Daymond in a "This is totally not Hubert and Ferdinand we're singing as *wink*" song and I did not get the context of it at first until I played the game. Now afterward, I get the context. And I aimed for that Hubert x Ferdinand ending because I like how they contrast each other. He also was an instant recruit and while he didn't get used as much in Golden Deer or Blue Lions, he's still a favorite and I did not want to fight against him.

In short, Black Eagles are 10/10, would play this route again, and will always side with Edelgard. Down with Megalomaniacal Dragon Gods. Will get to writing about the other routes soon.

2 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

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justaredheadf1fan · 2 years

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Introduction

Masterlist

Well, hello there 😃

My name is Naia, but everyone around me calls me Nai. I’m a 28-year-old redhead with a mild fixation (ahem…) with Formula 1, and some other stuff, but mainly Formula 1 🤪

I’ve always been a fan of the sport, to be honest. I still remember to this day the weekend afternoons with my father and brother watching the races and qualification sessions. Without missing any of them, ever.

Being Spanish, we always rooted for Fernando Alonso, and for what I could gather neither my father nor my brother liked any other driver enough to support them as well, same way as football for instance, we’ve always been Athletic de Bilbao and Spanish national team supporters, but I always tried to see more to both sports to just settle for just one driver or team. So, I ended up looking away a little and found myself supporting other teams, other drivers, than the ones I was “supposed to”.

Back to F1, I always loved Michael Schumacher, there’s no point in denying it, he was always a beast. I didn’t like Sir Lewis Hamilton or Sebastian Vettel though, but I did have some sort of soft spot for Kimi Raikkönen because one of my closest friends at the time, who was a huge fan of his. But time has proved that people evolve, so many of my preferences did too, and after many, many years, I’ve come to love both Sir Lewis and Sebastian much more than I could’ve ever expected thanks to a dear friend (hi, Marina 👋🏻) who reintroduced me to F1 after many years of losing track of the sport.

I admit that after watching Sebastian win his 4th title with RedBull, we stopped watching F1 altogether at home. I myself didn’t find that motivation that came with race week, since Seb was completely unchallenged at that point and there was barely any more competition as there used to be, in my eyes (I might mention I was 20, so I didn’t know better at that point? 😅). Races looked almost exactly the same at that stage for me, but oh, do I regret now my thoughts in 2013…

So, I was in desperate need of guidance from my lovely friend Marina, who I also share my passion for football and others with, to remind me of what I was missing out on and put me up to speed on most of what I hadn’t seen so far since 2014. Needless to say, she got me hooked once more, like never before at that. Obviously, now I can’t just drop it, can I? She got me all hyped up right at the end of this insane 2021 season. AND NOW WHAT!?

Now I find myself starting a Formula 1 blog out of nowhere and totally uncalled for, but I guess my need for more at the moment is getting the best of me at the moment. It is what it is.

Anyhow, getting back on track before I finish my Bible of an introduction, if you got this far reading, congratulations, you have a hell of a patience here. I’ll do my very best to stay as objective as possible while commenting on races, qualification sessions, free sessions and whatever else I can get my hands on from now on. I obviously have my favorites and least favorites just like everyone does, but still. Obviously, we can’t all agree on everything every time, but I do believe friendly, reasonable and respectful comments are the best way to go anywhere, so those will always be welcomed here. That way we can properly debate about all topics and we’ll all learn from one another in a nice way. Plus, if anyone has suggestions regarding topics or anything that comes to mind, I’m open to hearing about it, the more feedback I get the better I can do this.

To whoever’s reading this, if there’s anyone at all so far, welcome and thank you very much. I never in a million years thought I’d be doing this, like at all. So, buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Nai

UPDATE (JUNE 19TH 2022)

I'm updating this to say a couple things:

I've being thinking lately that I haven't been as objective and "professional" as I hoped to be at the very beginning of this. I mean, I'm objective on several things but I know I'm subjective too. I talk mainly about the top points that I see or my faves or the drivers I like most, if you will. This is because now I work, which when I started all this wasn't happening, so I have less time and also less energy, but I always try my best to be truthful and honest about what I see the way I see it. Obviously, a lot of you might disagree and that's perfectly healthy. And I try to make it entertaining to read, at least 😂

I'm thinking about putting together some kind of a masterlist in order to find all posts easier, both for me and for anyone who wants to take a peak. Not expecting anyone going around old posts from a blog that barely anyone knows, but who knows, it's never too much putting together something nicely, right?

So, let's see if my lack of an attention span lets me follow through with this and I put it all together bit by bit.

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