#ANYWAYS yea theres no explaining here i just like describing things in a way that is not normal or understandable

[jrueships]

Nba players as bad cliques/tropes, based more off personality with some fashion influence, of course

Paul George: 'computer jock'

gamer jock nerd jock computer jock, whatever you say, it better have some form of 'i lift weights' and 'i get no p*ssy' in it! The type of jock who surprises nerds when he shows actual interests in their hobbies, and not actually asking about it to make fun of them. Yes he got a ps5 before a possible ring. Yes he is still doing better than you. No, the pretty lady with blonde hair did NOT call him back even after all his 50p phone calls, STOP asking.

vector from despicable me ass

Jaylen Brown : the 'Poem' goth

There's a surprising amount of goths in the nba! Just different specifics! Jaylen's feels more 'mysterious' with an elegant air to him similar to a monotone vampire. He has a righteous fury when scorned and relies on scorpio instagram posts to describe his feelings. Starkly different from his best friend who goes out for brunch

Jalen Williams: the 'Vintage' goth

He's the kid at school who wears the kind of outfits that teachers recognize from the older franchise or figure on the clothes. His favorite movies are grainy horror where chocolate syrup is used for blood. He's more approachable than people worry over though and secretly wishes for someone to watch an old black and white horror film at his side

Demar Derozan: the 'wallflower'

The loner at the party who sticks mainly to the corners as he pretends to check a text on his phone. You'd find him by the walls or by the party owner's dog. He's far more tolerable as a 'party loner' because he doesn't own a guitar and doesn't smoke on rooftops, he's just a guy that keeps to himself! Once you start a conversation with him, you wonder why you haven't started one sooner! Don't mistake his kindness as stability though. He's still a goth.

Josh christopher: the 'aesthetic' goth

Honestly, not really a goth. More like a stan culture fashionista whose clothes impress you until you realize it looks exactly like some indie musician's fashion line. But whatever look he wants to have down, he really does have down though, you gotta give that credit! More of an appearance goth who really gets into the acting rather than a 'deep, brooding personality goth'. He's still accepted because his aesthetics are too cool to turn down

Anthony edwards: joth

Jock + goth. Joth. He's a prankster with a fun personality and a great love of athletics. Anything with the word 'player', he's the best. But he also idolizes Jaylen brown, THE black and white movie with focused white lighting on the eyes mysterious vampire goth. More into fashion than people think..

Kawhi Leonard: the 'quiet' one

Can't say two words without someone loudly exclaiming 'OMG ___ like NEVER talks THIS much! what's gotten INTO you??' Then never speaks. Again. Because he's quiet and was never really accepted into anything besides 'weird', his style can be surprising! Sometimes it's sweats, sometimes it's colorful shorts! People try to box him in because they just cant live without figuring him out, so he always surprises! He experiments with whatever he may please and is allowed that freedom from his forced isolation

Devin Booker: 'lawyer's kid'

Dresses like a prep. Acts more like a goth. Either hasn't come to the realization of his inner turmoil or refuses to acknowledge it. Texts embarrassing, nonsensical messages to his long unspoken crush whenever he's drunk. Has rich kid issues. Bad breakups, annoying dad, annoying superstar mom who wears cardigan sweaters and puts you on a curfew (chris paul..), truly, no one is going through it worse than him.

Jaren Jackson Jr: manpurse prep

He goes to brunch, he carries the hand sanitizer, he controls the aux to his daddy's jaguar. Wears some strange bullshit you can't really make fun of or you're not invited to swim at his pool. Looks like he'd be Regina george, but is honestly just a karen

#i made this just 4 me and i dont even know why i did #it's just fun finding fun ways to describe the favs i guess? or to associate with them IDK im unwell #also guys... i just found at that im a rising scorpio.... #please wish me well yall.... i cant believe im evil confirmed.. #joth confirmed... #im sick #ANYWAYS yea theres no explaining here i just like describing things in a way that is not normal or understandable #ted tropes #???? i might do more if i am feeling unwell enough ! #pg13 years old #jwilli #gup #deebo #jaylen #jaren #ant eds #kawhi #books

[ybetzarts]

random question, what draws you to knuckles as a character? do you have a favourite version of him?

Okok...bear with me, I have to start from the beginning..

I first encountered Knuckles during the time when he was mostly portrayed as, as they described him, a character merely for comedic relief. I watched the boom series back in 2015 and so my first impression of him was that he was an all-brawn-no-brain kinda guy. I found him funny, i guess...i had no clue back then. To explain why i didnt bother to do any research, here are some screenshots of my response on IG...(see below the break)

I was a shallow "fan". I find the sonic casts' design interesting and fun to look at. At that time, that was enough...

1. What drew me into Knuckles then?

I'll get into that, but first...The 2nd movie...The only reason i gave Sonic(by Sonic i meant the whole franchise) a chance was because i saw how Knuckles was portrayed in the 2nd Sonic movie. Very different from what i knew of him at that time.

I began researching about him, after watching the movies. There was something. Yea, i was on an info hunt of just about the guy for months! Along the way tho, i also discovered a ton of things about Sonic, the cast, etc. BUT, i was mostly so eager to know about Knuckles. Then man! There was so much to know about the guy...He wasnt just that all-brawn-no-brain type of guy. Those character analysis videos of Knuckles explained a lot of things about him. He's the most interesting of the cast(for me)---his personality(Most of all), his backstory, his sacred duty, being the last of the echidnas, angel island as his home, what's left of his kind(relics, tech, architecture, art, etc.), so much to unpack...and YET there were almost nothing said about them??? The mysteries about the guy continues. Lots of angles to look into his character.

Hmm... I also realized that there were many ways to interpret(?) Knuckles. The tons of fanfiction you can make about the guy, tons of ways to do headcanons about him---one can look at him through his duty as a guardian, through him being a warrior, through his ancestors--and then recently in Frontiers--through the hidden and long lost and forgotten structures within angel island, also, through the M.E. and through the power that resides in the M.E. Am I making sense even???

[I should say that i liked a lot of these things first, before i even liked Knuckles for his design LOL (gawsh, those times when i struggled drawing the dude. I was so eager to learn how to draw him. Usually i would have given up, but surprisingly i didnt), and the "why did he have to be RED" XDD I didnt like red, until Knuckles...] His personality drew me in at first, then came all of these things...

About his personality/character...I can really relate to that. I also happen to like characters who are tough on the outside and are good (not exactly gentle) in the inside LOL. Knuckles looks so tough, immovable as a mountain, but deep down, he's carrying a lot. Rarely or almost never opening up. I can only imagine him as he got older, him thinking like

"No one will be left to take care of the island after I'm gone anyway...so why should i even bother? I could be doing something else, I could be anywhere, I could make use of what time ive been given, of what time i have left."

*proceeds to chuck them thoughts away* Then just like that, back to guarding duty again, still feeling loyal and determined to fulfill his role, and to who knows until when...

For that, Knuckles is the only fictional character that ive come to genuinely like and become interested in. So much so that i got out of my demotivated-uninspired-artist-prison and began drawing again, and for the fun of it!🌟💥

2. As for my favorite version of him?

My gosh! um, currently Renegade, I suppose??? Man, this is hard gah! Theres always something to like about every version of Knuckles. The Knuckles version in my head, the one i created after consuming a ton of Knuckles info, yea i also like that version LOL XDD🌟

#asks #ybetzartstalks #knucklestheechidna #my fingers hurt now #i figured this was gonna be long so i didnt draw anything this time HNGGGG #am feeling really sleepy now so #pls forgive me if i ever made yall confused ack

[thesugarhole]

I felt a bit surprised that Charles had been able to assign our local, semi-concealed System Wizard a gender for longer than thirty seconds

definitely one of his more (dare i say rewrite?) annoying traits for sure

His legs slammed into the ground in relentless syncopated rhythm, creating a hysterical, deafening drumbeat that made old broken windows rattle in their panes.

diversity win! first non human entity to use he/him in this story!

It was hard to keep Charles from getting sucked into the seven-dimensional space reallocation error at the corner of Mill and Union, but I managed. Suffice to say it’s good that he’s quick on his feet. After realizing he was past the danger, he brushed himself off and glanced around. “Oh, come on,” he said to the empty streets. “How come nobody ever sees my most heroic moves?”

himbo (affectionately)

ooo the traffic light with the claws is also a he/him ok

didnt think id be entertained by this but here i am. if its as interesting as the lemonade cult then yea

I steered Charles towards some food, which he stole without paying [sigh].

youve heard it before and youll hear it again: absolute hell world that all this shit is still "secretly" (snippy has no way of knowing) being accounted for when the guy is just trying to not die. doing the best he can with the knowledge he has (captain wizardly does not a human body keep fed after all)

what the hells a dead zone wraith anyway

oh. a dex. whose job is "entertain" (scare) tourists. ok

NO WAY theres a journal entry from a dex thats not pilot though finally my reading wishes are being fulfilled

I honed my audio receivers in on the spot and picked up the telltale puff and huff of a filter mask. Say! I knew that guy! "Hey, Charles!" I called out and waved my hand. "Man, it had been a while! Remember me? Dixon 11-07-02?” I think radiation must have eaten through my speakers because most of my greeting came out as grinding screechy cough. Charles froze and stared at me without answering, chest rising and falling rapidly. He glanced around nervously, tensed to run.

tragedy enjoyers right now: lol

That was classic Charles! Always throwing things first and asking questions second. Well… more like throwing things first, and then running away at top speed. He’d always been an oddball like that. I know he has his… connectivity issues, but that tour guide book ANNET printed just for him explained me and the other wasteland D.Z.T.G. employees. “Well good afternoon to you, too,” I said, wiping the cement dust away from my optical array. When I had cleared my vision, Charles had vanished into the rubble like an agoraphobic rat. “How’ve you been, Charles? Haven’t seen you much lately.” Geez, I only wanted some company! Where’d he gotten off to?

tragedy enjoyers right now: lmao, even

its freaking me out that this guy looks way more like a robot than anything else. are we mixing up terminologies here or is this still a human-turned-android-as-capital-punishment situation and he just happened to get it worse because of his occupation?? CLEARLY not a human face structure, especially if its meant to scare and whatnot

aaah stuffs not making sense again. booooo. edit: missed the dex-WRAITH disclaimer sorry. its a different dex type. its not a satisfying answer but. its an answer i guess.

A notice popped up demanding that I take Charles to the organ harvest and Dex conversion facility. I skimmed over the notice. Psh! That couldn’t be right. The debt the notice described was much too immense for a single person to have accrued. How could someone owe that much to the Directorate? Excessive gambling? This had to be a filing error of some sort. I scrolled further. Well, that was a lot of parking tickets. Still, even all those couldn’t account for an infinite debt.

christ lmao. he doesnt even have a car though, are these from like. that run down car captain drove over the rainbow? i think zee left it at the knock off mcdonalds

The G-Overseer can kiss my rusty, metal derriere.

that futurama reference took waaaay too long to make

this is breaking my heart dixon is actually talking out loud to him and warning him of the debt but his voice filters stuff are mangled beyond hell so all that comes out is banshee esque noises. snippy accumulates 50 Ls for every W he scrapes by

"What's your name?" I asked. "You sound... cute." "I'm Matilda Trafficlight. Now please move away from Charles, before you give him a heart attack," she stated firmly.

can love bloom between a dex dead zone wraith and a traffic light with a name

“And how about I get you a coffee to apologize? I know just the place,” I added, feeling like quite the player. "There's a nice... G-bux coffee shop that's still mostly intact." "Oh, you’re too kind", Matilda said, and I wished that she was here in person again. All her lights always lit up together when she was excited about fixing something. "Very well, I accept!"

it can. yaaaaay!

(is dexes and objects with idiot AI dating something common in this world? like i thought that bomb was just being cheeky when she said 'this pilot is cute but i dont have time for dating' or whatever but maybe it's common place)

biomatrix is so close to becoming a regular im on the edge of my seat

#reading romac #sugar.txt

[madmaddyenby]

/rp /dsmp

ok so- c!tommy. we are all aware he’s traumatized, and experiences ptsd from being in traumatic experiences, this is basically fact.  while i’d like to talk how c!tommy experiences ptsd, i’d like to bring up a thing i haven’t seen mentioned a lot when it comes to c!tommy and his trauma- c-ptsd.  also known as complex-ptsd.   it occurs when someone experiences something traumatizing for a period of time.

[image description: A screenshot of text with the words “CPTSD stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a mental health condition in which a person might experience intense PTSD symptoms that coincide with other mental issues. CPTSD occurs in people who have been subjected to on going traumatizing experiences”. end description]

which, as we know, the exile arc fits the description of “ongoing traumatizing experiences” pretty fucking well.  the exile was basically just two weeks of trauma.  for a lot of reasons too, there was dream abusing tommy, tommy being isolated, tommys own depression/suicidal thoughts/bad mindset in general.   this would all be considered a ongoing traumatizing experience(s).  

ptsd is very similar to c-ptsd in how it develops, but ptsd occurs after one singular traumatizing event . (by the way, the event doesnt have to be life or death, it could be something like witnessing or hearing about a shocking event!!!)

symptoms of c-ptsd overlap with ptsd a good lot of the time, due to them both being trauma disorders.  however, there are a few differences.  here r some symptoms of c-ptsd, alot of which are ptsd symptoms that alot ofpeople with c-ptsd experience as well

reliving the traumatic experience

avoiding certain situations 

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

hyperarousal (jitteriness, being on alert, etc)

somatic symptoms (physical symptoms with no underlying cause)

lack of emotional regulation 

change in consciousness

negative self-perception

difficulty with relationships

distorted reception of abuser

loss of system of meanings

now, i’ll go over which of these fit our boy c!tommy, and how they fit for some of them atleast.  i will only be talking about the things that are a result from c-ptsd, but also c-ptsd works where it coincides with other mental illnesses a person has so.  its also important to note that within a person these symptoms might not stay the same over time, and not everyone who has c-ptsd or ptsd is going to experience it the same.   (so not talking abt how pain affects him after dying in the prison, though that is a clear sign of ptsd) 

reliving the traumatic experience

tommy’s done this with exile a few times, when revisiting logstedshire, when he saw the craters in logstedshire, when visiting dream in prison, when during the disc finale dream dug the hole and told him to put his armour in, etc etc, he’s even described himself as being trembly in the fingers near plain biomes, while visting logsted he mentioned how shaky it made him to be there, and when he visited logsted one time he had an immediate reaction to seeing a hole in the ground that came off as him reliving it. flashbacks come in from sensations during a traumatic event, like sight, feeling, emotion, etc, etc.  it seems like with these he’s experiencing more of a reliving the emotions kind of thing. 

avoiding certain situations 

i was originally not gonna include this one, but thinking about it, he kind of does in a way.   this symptom also includes keeping yourself preoccupied to avoid thinking about it, which is something c!tommy seems to do alot.  with focusing on building the hotel, and doing tasks, or grinding for supplies instead of actually thinking about it.  

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

c!tommy uh. does this a lot.  a lot of it stems from how during exile tommy was isolated and made to believe no one cared for him, and even if that wasn’t true c!tommy never really got much closure on that.  hes not really trusting ppl that b4 were really close to him, tubbo n ranboo for example

lack of emotional regulation

this can also be described as uncontrollable feelings.  this is the one i’ve wanted to talk about the most i think- because this is really fits c!tommy.  he tends to lash out alot, for example burning the flower c!ranboo gave him, there are a bunch more examples of this that include him yelling at others, that one time when he spleefed c!jack 

negative self-perception

yeah.  theres a few examples of this one, the one that first comes to mind is that time during the green festival where he was talking about how he was worse than everyone he didn’t wanna be (including his abuser, c!dream...) .  theres now when he was building his tower by the prison when he was saying he couldn’t use the cobble because it was too him, and people didnt like the cobble. alot of this i think comes from c!dream making him feel basically worthless in exile :(

difficulty with relationships

  Yeah. um.  Alot for this one!!! The first to come to mind is c!tubbo.  c!tommy and c!tubbos relationship is very very wonky, especially considering recent events with tommy feeling like he is being replaced with c!ranboo.  (which he isnt by the way! he just feels as though, which is a valid feeling for him to have :]) .  another person that comes to mind is c!ranboo.  he’s even mentioned how his and ranboos relationship goes back and forth quite alot.  its not very surprising to see that he has difficulty with relationships especially considering a lot of the reason that the exile affected him so badly was because he felt so alone and was so isolated from his friends.  another thing that comes to mind, is when he made c!sam sign that contract promising hat he’d be his best friend and protect him.  theres most likely way more that can be said here, but this is the first stuff that comes to mind.  

distorted reception of abuser

um... yeah.  this one.  this can also be described as , “ becoming preoccupied with the relationship between you and your abuser. It can also include preoccupation with revenge or giving your abuser complete power over your life. “  which is um.  yeah.  c!tommy.  he’s mentioned how whenever he’s around c!dream he feels like hes conditioned to be his friend (which. yea . he was .).  right after he left logstedshire this was very very prominent, he was the biggest c!dream apologist around (/j), saying things like “dream didnt do anything wrong” and even explaining how he wasnt sure about things when it comes to c!dream, that his mind became flip floppy whenever he thought about him.   right now, hes focused on getting back at c!dream, not fully for revenge, mainly for his friends and how he doesnt want c!dream to go around killing and reviving everyone, but the point still stands.  (this all makes me extra sad because he had gone to the prison the second time in the first place to get closure :(( )

loss of system of meanings

Systems of meaning refer to your religion or beliefs about the world.  This can also refer to getting a strong sense of hopelessness or despair about the world, which as of late mainly c!tommy seems to have.  mainly referencing in his stream where he visited dreams bunker, he was asking what the point was of finding things that made him happy if dream was just going to get out the prison and destroy it.  theres also a few things that also go with this, in one stream while he burnt down ponks lemon tree for sam nook he said  "thats still decaying, but yknow, arent we all." and that one time when he gave that hotel invitation to c!techno he was like “ahahha we could die tomorrow anyway” 

-

its also important to note that, “Any type of long-term trauma, over several months or years, can lead to CPTSD. However, it seems to appear frequently in people who’ve been abused by someone who was supposed to be their caregiver or protector. “ Which is.. fairly accurate in c!tommy’s situation.  c!dream might’ve not been a caregiver or protector necessarily but he was still someone that was looking after him yknow? 

there are most likely more things than what i layed out that show that c!tommy most likely also has cptsd, however this is just the stuff that i thought up :] add to the post if you’d like to!

(also this isn’t saying that c!tommy doesnt have ptsd, he had both ptsd and c-ptsd. also i am not an expert about ptsd, cptsd, or mental health in general, if i got any information wrong let me know)

#depression tw #abuse tw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #exile arc #isolation tw #ig ? #trauma tw #c!tommy #tommyinnit #dream smp #dsmp #meta #dsmp meta #long post #death tw #i can not stress enough that this is just the character #all roleplay and characters #not talking abt the real ppl! #also i hope the id for the screenshot works or whatever its the first time ive ever put one

[moon-lords-lower-body]

OH YOUR TERRARIA CHARACTERS ARE BABY... Tell me more about them pls

WAAAA TY im so sorry i been forgetting to reply to this.. umm!! i think about them Every Day and I think I'm gonna start up an askblog soon maybe BUUUT um I can talk abt all but vexx’s backstories bc they're all gonna b explained in the first like 3 posts of that anyway so it works out so!! firstly we got Terra!! yes ik the name is cliche but i made her when i was 10 and then 6 years later adapted her to who she is now so. umm yea shes a swordswoman, strong as hell, GAY as hell, cares way too much about her town and her friends. n like shes the aggressively loving type? shes like. shes like that “I LOVE YOU DOG” vine idk how to describe it but u know what i mean. shes also rly tenacious n persistant n all that which is usually a good thing but also it kinda led to umm sacrificing a bunch of guides trying to get this One thing from the WoF like we do n then realized holy fuck. what have i done. fell into a depression n stopped all progress for like almost a year early hardmode. eventually tho w the help of the other townsfolk and also vivian who ill talk abt next?! she got back to it!! and crushed it!!! next is VIVIAN shes terra’s gf, uses like knives n bows n those kinda ranged melee weapons like vampire knives. v sweet n motherly. big mom energy. mom shes the only one out of the group with any fuckign Braincells n most of her adventuring happens when she has to get them out of trouble. other than that the whole Terrarian hero adventuring life doesn’t really come to her like it does to, say, terra, so she mostly stays at home and in the town looking over the town when everyone else is out. she had her own world she was the hero of and was doing p well until early hardmode, where corruption spread a LOT n she couldnt control it and eventually it took over the town and got so bad she just had to call it quits and jump over to terra’s world where they um ym um fell in love :] next is MATTIE!!! oh he is just a littol baby he isnt here to hurt anybody he just loves everyone and everything unconditionally. ohh he just love. he’s an ex lunar cultist who was killed by the leader, revived as a terrar hero, fell in love with his guide, had an assassin sent after him after the lunatic cultist found out he was still alive and freaked TF out, the assassin went “nah fuck this im on his side now” they teamed up and killed the lunatic cultist and then had a confrontation w mr. moon god and Saved The World B) yea he’s rly sweet n just loves everyone a whole Lot but can fight too!! then theres pixie who technichally isnt a terrar hero like the last 3, he’s that assassin loony sent on mattie and then went “actually... no ❤” but he’s still important and means the world to me :) big STRONG fuckin guy from texas?? terraria equivalent of texas. cold exterior and doesn’t normally like to open himself up but theres like a few ways u can get him to start opening up. hes got dad energy, dumb ol himbo, he COOKS RLY WELL?! n basically yea he helped mattie out during hardmode n trained him to fight better n was his emotional support but mattie was also his emotional support!! n he got him to open up and Show Ppl He Loves Them Again. god i love him he gives me gender envy

and then theres vexx who i can’t talk about much just yet ❤

ive got a few more like terra’s current guide, mattie’s old lunatic cultist, mattie’s old guide he fell in love with, etc. but these r the Big Ones and they make my brain to a perfect backflip i love them so much

#so excited to talk abt them i forgot to add tags!! #Terraria #answer #i forgot if i tag my charas lol

[heir-of-the-founders]

Um hello there

This might be a bit long. Uhh possible anxiety/panic attack warning maybe?

So a thing happened to me this morning.

Ok so imma start off with a few things first.

1- im pretty sure this wasnt actually an anxiety attack. I have anxiety. Ive had attacks before. This is nothing like that.

2- stuff like this has been happening since i was a small child, ill go more into that later

3- so, bit of a tmi warning here- i started my period last night and thats kinda when this specific one started, but ive had these issues since before i started having them so idk

Anyway. Ok so i dont really know how to get into this? Lets start with this-

So, ever since i was a small child, like single digits, this weird thing would happen to me? Its like,, it feels like my body is rapidly turning back and forth? Like, not all the way, maybe 90° ish? I dunno, but just like bouncing back and forth, like on a pivot. I dont really know how to explain it without visuals. But i mostly feel it in my head, and like theres this really big loss of focus? And i always hear stuff too, but nothing comprehensible.

But yea, so it doesnt happen often but it does happen and it happens frequently enough that im not too freaked out. Like maybe once or twice a year?

So yea that happens, i promise its related.

So when i went to sleep last night, i kinda felt that feeling of bouncing back and forth? But i just tried to steady myself and go to sleep. Which i did.

But when i woke up, everything felt weird? Like, my body was really light, but not in a good way. It was mostly my stomach and my chest area kinda, like the center of my abdomen. But from the top to the bottom. I dunno. And it felt like that, like just under my skin? I dunno, its hard to describe.

Everything felt really tense too, it was super weird. And like the front, bottom part of my face felt super tight?

And i could hear absolutely everything it was bonkers i hated it.

Oh, plus i kinda started like chewing and sucking on the side of my hand? I dont know why, i just got a really big urge to and it felt really nice. Putting pressure on my chest was really nice too.

I also felt like really cold? Kinda? In a weird way? I have no idea.

All of this is super hard to describe, but stuff like this has been happening since i was at least 8, if not earlier, and its always weirded me out, but ive never really told anyone about it? So. Yeah

Anyway, if literally anyone has absolutely any idea what this could possibly be, please let me know

Thanks in advance!

#help #weird feeling #anxiety attack kinda maybe #i just need help figuring this out #please and thank you

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is 

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride 

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH 

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao 

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this 

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love 

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing. 

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao 

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand 

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way 

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky) 

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op) 

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?) 

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow 

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy 

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser 

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow. 

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy. 

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points) 

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much 

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny 

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye 

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further 

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess 

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title 

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny 

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro. 

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth 

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious 

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions) 

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did 

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless 

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY 

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh 

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e 

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY. 

til next timeeee

#i think readmores are broken? sometimes? anyways i hope thats not the case and if so then im sorry everyone #im gonna schedule this for like 3 am this is just for me to ramble lmao #anyways i need a tag #uhhh #lj watches hxh #hxh #bam there we go

[ihavenoconsistentname]

Lol real quick I'm gonna be depressing in undertone/context by saying nice things about my friends and stuff because I randomly was like "You know what it could be the last time I see/hear from/talk to any one of my friends at any moment and I wouldn't realize it" and I just stopped what I was doing and was like alright I'm gonna tell you nice things because I love my friends dearly and I'm so distant half the time and again I never know when I'll never be able to talk to them again so here we goes

I'm doing friends I can tag here and other friends or people I just have admiration for but may not necessarily be sure of calling friends (they have to call me their friend first for me to say alright we're friends its their decision not mine lol) and yea UHM anyways

Starting off, @myzlmao

My dude I really was convinced at one point for a good damn while that you were dead and that was depressing and I was so happy to hear from you again even if it may not have seemed that way. You're been my buddy for quite a while now and it's almost like, what, the third "anniversary" of when all of us on Amino met?? And I knew you way before Josh and Aub and Cole and stuff, you were one of my first friends on Amino alongside Ken. We've struggled a lot before but I'm really glad I got to see you make it out of that. And I really hope you can continue getting through it. I've got a lot of good memories with you and I really want to be able to see you get better and be happy, you deserve that so much.

Next up, @kool-aidd

God you're just such a great friend dude. I can barely put that into words. At first you were just someone I had a few things in common with, I thought you were pretty cool, now we've got a fucking empire (still small and a bit insignificant but still there kind of like the Holy Roman Empire lol) (I don't remember the historical significance of that one much but anyways-) and you're just absolutely amazing. You've stuck by me and made me feel like I'm not alone with all my depressive shit even if I've kinda hurt your feelings before (and no I'm probably not going to excuse myself from that ever). I really can't explain how much I value you as a person, as a friend, as a right hand man/second in command, you're just so damn amazing, I love ya pal.

Now for @oof-grey-leader

Grey, just like everyone in Valere, you're awesome. You're amazing. I know I even still don't know you the best, but you're a really great friend to have and you've helped cheer me up multiple times before. I love your art, I love your personality, you're awesome. Just remember you are absolutely valid and we love you so much bud.

@lilacsandthistles

Similarly to Grey, while I still don't know you the best LT, you're also amazing. You have such a great personality, and your art is absolutely adorable. Also? Your love for moths? Amazing. I love it. I really enjoy having you as a friend even if I don't talk to you too much.

@comebelonely

Obviously I can't just not talk about Chris. Everyone knows that. But seriously, Chris, you've pulled my ass out of severe depression and wanting to s//lf h//rm and shit multiple times before. And for fucks sake you're just such an amazing human being, I absolutely love your personality, just like everyone else your art is amazing (don't fight me on that don't you dare-), and you're one of the best friends I've ever had. It doesn't matter if you can't always feel too great, it doesn't matter if you suddenly feel upset, I'm always gonna love ya and be here for you and you know that. You're just so fucking great. And that's also why I'm gonna wear those earrings for the rest of my life.

@evotaurtis

Taurtiiisss out of everyone I've talked to you the least but I of course still value you as a human being. Absolutely love your art, you're an amazing person, and I hope that you'll be able to get through those rough times you have. Always take care of yourself bud.

As for my other friends and such or just people I find cool/admirable, I'll not act like I'm talking to them since they cant hear me but instead I'll describe what I like/love about them or a few of them that I can really think of at the moment

Mads: Absolutely love her personality, she's one of the nicest people ever, I love her singing, she makes me feel happy a lot and I love having her as a friend (plus she's my nerd buddy in SkillsUSA)

Sophia: Love my kiddo, she's adorable and I love her personality too. She's such a positive and happy person

Alic: One of my best friends ever, he has a personality I'm really comfortable with because it's playful enough but not annoying or anything, amazing hugs, love him. He's kinda like a brother to me as well.

Aub: Another one of my kiddos, love her art, meme child, she's one of the only 2 from Amino I'll still talk to (when I say Amino I mean the one where we all met and by we I mean Myz, Josh, Cole, Ken, etc.). She can also help make me feel better with her stupid memes sometimes

Dev: Another one that I barely know well, but he is an absolutely lovely rat and I enjoy giving him hugs and stuff even though we don't talk a whole lot.

Also a general thing for everyone in Valere: No matter how little I know some of you, I fucking love you all (and yeah theres not many of you but still) and you're my beloved empire residents. You've all got amazing qualities, be it your art or personality or otherwise, and you're all great. It makes me happy just having you in my empire.

I'm sorry if this sounded depressing lol it kind of was in the context but idk I never know when I could lose any of you and I just wanna make sure I say how much I love you guys. You're all great. Everyone is great. I love everyone. Even if you weren't mentioned specifically, still, love ya and you're still amazing.

(This took me a lil while to type aaagh)

#again mildly depressing but its night time and i always get like that at night #oh well #love you all v much #alex rambling

[bxstiae]

[ @lambentlodestar & @hyaciiintho​​ / —– COLOURS ]     A C C E P T I N G !!

Baby blossoms? for the color ask.

//Olive, Currant, and Baby Blossoms !!// 

olive: is your muse prone to feeling envious of others? if yes, what is it that they typically feel envious over? currant: what's something that absolutely disgusts your muse (can be a person, place, thing, ect)? baby blossoms: does your muse have a favourite scent? what is it, and why?

so when these were sent in yesterday, i thought about them all, but now i seem to have forgotten what i wanted to talk about so forgive me if.... i’m a little distracted or not descriptive in these.

OLIVE: simply put -- NO. not really. that being said, he can STILL feel envious, it just happens far & few in between. though if i had to be honest i think its not that he’s envious of others but rather what they have. for the most part, he wants to be free. & before you say, ‘why khepri! isn’t he free to do whatever? like, he smashes pots! he’s totally allowed to do whatever & whenever he wants.’ No. just no..... allow me to explain. 

link is NOT free. he is BOUND by duty under farore. there is no freedom for him. he is the representation of courage & he has the brand of the gods. there is absolutely NO way that he considers himself free. he is at the mercy of the gods & their antics. he’s hylia’s chosen hero & he has to follow through with what THEY’VE told him to do. & after he kills ganon? it’s just pretty much them spitting in his face & telling him that he’s not needed anymore. & yet they still expect so much of him. he’s tired. he’s VERY tired. & he just wants.... to be happy & free. so anybody who has that, he can get a little envious with. but he never really... acts on it. not unless they’re being an asshole about it. cause let me tell you, he will get annoyed with you REALLY FAST if you flaunt what you have been blessed with. but aside from that? naw. he’s just tired. & he doesn’t really get super jealous of others. he’s pretty.... chill about it like 99% of the time.

read more cause it gonna get a bit long.

CURRANT: to be fair... it’s very HARD to pinpoint what link is naturally repulsed by. this goes for like literally anything. since he will pretty much put anything in his mouth to eat/drink, its like... *shrug emoji* for food/liquids. that being said.... slimy things DO kinda give him the shivers. also, keep in mind that he will legit drink purple chu jelly over and over again if he has nothing else on him. so... food? yea. nothing there that disgusts him. but you know what. there are other things that could potentially disgust him.

okay but real talk. something that he absolutely abhors is like... the idea of... giving into the deepest & darkest desires. like... giving up and letting evil control you. mind you that... link has his OWN demons that he fights off internally. like.. he never wants to give into the dark -- and yes, there is a dark part of him there, he’s not immune to it. but anything that is like... inherently evil he hates so much. which is funny to think cause... he isn’t repulsed by ganon -- in fact he pities him!!! but its not the people that disgusts him. its the concept... of just that evil taking over & control of you. that’s what he hates. for example.... when he battle’s the twilit monsters, he genuinely is DISGUSTED with the fact that such darkness can be so harmful to others. he doens’t want to KILL anybody who’s been taken over by that dark energy -- its more like he wants to HELP them fight that evil away. unfortunately some people aren’t strong enough for that, so they have to be ended by his hand. but it’s his merciful way of freeing them. 

Please please don’t mistake the idea that link HATES bad guys. he just hates the EVIL thats taken over them. as i have said, link sees the goodness in people no matter what. he tries to. i wrote a drabble once about how he HATES killing shadow beasts. he hates it cause.... they were once midna’s people. HE’S KILLING PEOPLE. the same goes for stalfos. but honestly there is no other way around it, he has to kill them in order to help them & rest their souls.

but anyway, i digrest. TL;DR: link is disgusted by the concept of evil/darkness.

BABY BLOSSOMS: things are looking tight on my end, & gotta get ready for work here soon so i will try to keep this brief. but he has actually TWO! well i suppose there’s a lot of scents that he loves so asking if he has a favourite scent is hard cause... theres SO MANY. ( it also very much depends on which verse/timeline  we are looking at ) but if we are looking at his main verse... 2 VERY different things.

first one -- he.... loves the smell of home. and honestly this can be taken two different ways. the first is quite literally HOME. ordon village. it definitely has that country smell it it. but its... not FARM smell. its more like... wheaty if that makes sense??? idk my brain is fried and i suppose i can go into this later but really ordon just has that rustic smell to it. doesn’t smell bad at all. sometimes its a bit crisp, but its not at all like... the towns you smell. sometimes it’s sweet. you can smell the pies sitting on the windows, cooling. just overall very homey. not to mention all the damn pumpkins give ordon village a rather pumpkin-y smell.

but you know... home can also... be taken as... ‘home is where the heart is’ so legit. he loves the smell of ‘HOME.’ what that home is is really dependent cause.... its definitely a person. or rather, its just something that he feels so SAFE around.... but you know talking about this point brings up point number 2.

second smell -- midna. like.. she’s not a smell but at the same time its like... he loves her smell... he LOVES midna’s scent. he feels so much at ease just... smelling her at times. and i cannot describe what she smells like to him cause she legit jsut smells like MIDNA. thats it that’s literally all there is to it. you can’t ask him well what does she smell like cause he’ll just say midna. don’t scold him about it cause he’ll get a little butthurt about it. but really that’s all there is to it. but let me tell you. when she leaves.... he’s so sad and he has absolutely NOTHING to compare to her smell... and he’s kinda forgotten what she smells like. but he knows that when he does see her again, he’s just gonna be so happy to smell her scent again cause... its like that high you get from smelling something SO GOOD. he gets so happy.... like nothing else matters, you know?

anyway... again this was a bit rushed, but hella maybe one day i’ll get more into it. though for now i must leave it at this cause i have work in 30 minutes :’)

#lambentlodestar #hyaciiintho #⚜ ; — [ ˡᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ʳᵉᶜᵉᶤᵛᵉᵈ ▲ answer. ] #⚜ ; — [ ʰᵉʳᵒ ᵒᶠ ˡᵉᵍᵉᶰᵈ ▲ headcanon. ]

[trinkerichi]

Why the hell are Jyushi and Homura so damn cute? Like, the one pic you did of Homura just being so excited about kissing Jyushi while her face is covered in his spit is just…adorable

Hehe I think about those two like “if they had the IDEAL relationship with compatible personalities, thats how i imagine it would be.” 

 I can’t get into romantic stuff unless it’s super low key and goofy. It’s fun to write that way! What’s the point of romance if it’s not just a silly fun time between some good friends?

INCOMING LONG RAMBLE!!

A lot of people characterize Homura as being more demure and shy. And that’s okay! But to me I like having her be every bit as wacky as Jyushi is deep down, even though she’s gone through way more tough experiences than he has.  They respect eachother mutually and have a similar sense of humor and there’s an extreme lack of judgement between them so they can just be themselves with eachother! (at least from Jyushi’s point of view anyway. Homura never told him about that job she had but I can’t imagine he would ever hold that against her if he knew.) 

Back when the Jyushi Dolphin episode came out people seemed not to like how Homura acted but I thought it was PERFECT. She was the perfect counterpoint to Jyushimatsu and that proved it so much. Overly supportive to a fault, stronger than she’s aware of, prone to violence and out of control emotions, kinda ditzy but FULL of love. But still grounded in reality just enough to bring Jyushi down to earth when things go too far. (even when he’s being too stubborn to listen) I feel like that’s what makes them fun to write and perfect for each other. Jyushi can expend some of that energy he has so he’s calm at the end of the day, and that energy goes directly to Homura to keep her going when the depression hits. The first time we saw her was at her lowest point so im REALLY glad she had some time to shine in a silly episode where those two could be a team. I just love that episode…

Hey while we’re at it, here’s some more headcannons!

Homura is about 3 years older than Jyushi. She accounts every bit of info she doesn’t feel like explaining to “well i have more life experience”

She lives in the countryside in a VERY small town with her parents, a farm, and two dogs. When she describes it to Jyushi he decides that’s his ideal homelife.

While staying in Akatsuka city she has a tiny apartment. Jyushi’s stayed overnight a few times and despite speculation from his brothers, the only thing that happened in that bedroom was movies until 2 AM and the couple eating an entire can of frosting with a spoon.

nsfw warning? (of course ive thought of this) I feel like even with Homura’s uh.. background, she wouldnt be that averse to trying things with Jyushi much later on. If only because that cherry boy is one of the six least intimidating men in the world in that regard. ….She’s 100% in charge though. Cmon look at what she was doing to him in the dolphin ep, and you cant tell me she isnt into it. This girl knows what she wants.

lol i should.. stop here. but yea ive had over 2 years to think abt these dumb characters so theres a loooot i can ramble about cuz i love them.

#trinket rambles #Anonymous #osomatsu san

[blookmallow]

goin through tma transcripts again making some more observations

i think im picking up on another potential thread here i didnt notice before 

- in Growing Dark, natalie becomes obsessed with darkness. the lightbulbs appear to be going out because she’s intentionally unscrewing them, so it doesn’t seem to be the exact same as what was happening around montauk, but there’s a clear connection anyway (and mark bilham says the streetlights and the car headlights and everything all seemed darker than they should be when he went back to confront natalie, as well) jon suspects this but says it’s only a suspicion, and he isn’t sure. not sure why two different names were given (”the peoples church of the divine host” and “the hither green dissenters”) but it could just be two different names for the same group. jon doesn’t seem to know either 

- Why Didn’t Kathy ASK Her What The Food Was and i also cant decide if i really want to know what it was or really DON’T want to know but i dont think it was spinach 

- if it IS the same cult: if they were trying to summon the darkness, or worshipping it, or something, it doesn’t quite fit that montauk himself was apparently trying to keep this darkness away

but then, his killings began after his wife left, and she left the pendant behind when she did, so maybe she left the cult and that’s what made the darkness angry, but. julia doesn’t mention having ever seen her father wearing a pendant like that so it doesn’t seem like he himself was part of the cult before, and if his wife was the one involved/the one who left, why would the darkness be coming for him 

or if she was... protecting him from it and now that she’s gone it’s coming after him why would she have left her pendant behind like that, if “I’m leaving the church” was something personal to her and wasn’t intended as a statement to him

- seems like there may be two rival cults clashing here, could be some kind of Fire/open eyes/Seeing vs Darkness/closed eye/Listening happening. the clown doll in Strange Music also had eyes painted shut, and that was centered on. strange music. and the darkness cult emphasizes losing sight but there’s that discordant singing

this is a theme i didnt pick up on until just now and i dont really want to go back through and search for Sight vs Sound in everything else right now but, hm. seems like there’s been a lot of creatures that don’t want to be Seen, things that resist all attempt to Prove them, things that don’t show their true forms visually. things that don’t show up on cameras even though they were there. things that you can only see properly when you’re not looking directly at it

the strange blonde man sasha encounters says “How would a melody describe itself when asked?” his appearance distorts in reflections and he describes himself as sound 

something something magnus institute trying to cast Light and Understanding and Truth onto things that don’t want to be seen and don’t want to be understood. prentiss says in her statement - “I need it to be seen. To be seen in the cold light of knowledge is anathema to the things that crawl and slither and swarm in the corners and the cracks.”

so prentiss appears to be on the Darkness side/that makes the most sense but sasha notably discovers she can kill the worms with a fire extinguisher, while martin had noticed a partly burned worm that had apparently not been killed by fire before (and. timothy clearly did not escape the worms, regardless of whether he killed some of them or not). after prentiss was found the first time the complex burned down. i cant quite make sense of whats happening there

- there were screams heard in the abandoned chapel on the day gertrude died so something’s definitely going on there. the guy with the dream about her believed something unspeakably horrible was coming for her it doesn’t make sense that she was just shot, and “the unspeakable horror was Betrayal” seems like a cop out to me so i dont think thats it 

- the guy in Burnt Offering was. under the effects of some kind of Burning Curse so that’s. pretty clear, but why were there pictures of gertrude in that clearing. the fuck is happening there 

- I’m still trying to figure out what’s happening with Written Word vs Speech, maybe related to Seeing/Silence too, like. all these statements are written. jon is speaking them and at first i just thought he was really into the storytelling but now I’m starting to worry that the reason he sounds so different when he’s narrating the statements is that they’re. getting into him. somehow. like he’s some kind of a conduit for something. i don’t like that at ALL and i REALLY hope im wrong lmao

anyway then there’s Cheating Death, where nathaniel thorp says that his story is folklore which has never before been written down, so we have... oral tradition being spoken by an illiterate man, copied down in written word for the first time by the magnus institute (not sure if it’s relevant Who transcribed it, jon says it was a research assistant named Fiona Law, who died from what seems to be completely unrelated causes like 30 yeas later, so) and now being recited/spoken again by jon. and there’s probably something to the fact that thorp says it’s a legend/folklore but it turns out to have actually been his statement all along, so im not sure if he was... saying that the stories were about Him, or if the concept of “people who try to gamble with death become something stuck between death and life” was a story he grew up with and then discovered to be Real, or if none of it was folklore in the first place and just talking about it in a detached third person way was the only way he could do it 

prentiss describes the magnus institute as “This place of books and learning, of sight and beholding” and seems not to trust in Words, 

“There is no right word because for all your Institute and ignorance may laud the power of the word, it cannot even stretch to fully capture what I feel in my bones. What possible recourse could there be for me in your books and files and libraries except more useless ink and dying letters? I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note it’s every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”

that also speaks to jon’s skepticism, everything “verifiable” about these statements does not make sense to the person’s actual experience, things keep happening that for whatever reason cannot be explained and understood, people who were THERE but theres no record of them existing, cave systems that are heavily mapped and documented but the actual experience of exploring them doesnt follow the documentation at all 

after reading prentiss’ statement jon says “There are weird things out there that are perfectly natural. It’s not, though. I know it’s not natural.” which is... the first time ive noticed him actually looking at something that could be explained rationally (prentiss is a mentally ill woman with a very aggressive currently-unknown-to-science parasite) but instead follows his feeling that theres something more underneath it 

he also. says this after having read the statement and remarks that “something in this statement has got to me a bit” and the... way he read it was very alarming and very..... Not His Voice. it worries me a LOT that something about these statements seems to be getting into him and ESPECIALLY that one 

#lucy liveblogs tma #i found this in my drafts apparently i never posted it i think i was trying to get thoughts more coherently put together but #i think this is as good as its gonna be for now :') #i am so behind... i am so behind. one day i will catch up