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bluesidez · 26 days

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The Love Lab presents:

One Bite for You, One Bite for Me

💗 THIS IS MY 100 200 300 FOLLOWER SPECIAL!

pairing: Miguel O’Hara x AFAB!Reader

summary: One of the things you and Miguel bond over is delicious food. One day, you notice that your clothes aren’t fitting like they used to. Miguel is there to remind you how beautiful you are.

content warning: established relationship but they’re not married, 18+ so MDNI, non-Spiderman Miguel, LOTS OF MENTIONS OF FOOD AND DRINKS, weight gain, cycles, insecurity about body, alcohol, body worship, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up 🫵🏾), cunnilingus, lots of praise, a little Spanish (if wrong please lmk)

credit for art + dividers: Me! + @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

a/n: This is actually the first fic I wrote when my Miguel hyperfixation came back in full force. I based it off of this video and a comment saying that girls are usually the ones that gain weight super quick in a relationship. Please know that gaining weight is not a bad thing, especially in this story. Relationship weight can be positive and food is here to nourish your body! Also know that everyone’s body is different. Our bodies will react to things in different, unique ways. If you’re ever feeling icky about your weight/health, please take a step back, breathe, and know that you’re beautiful no matter what. There are also sources out there that can help you if your thoughts overpower your heart. Please don’t hesitate to seek help.

word count: 4.3k

To all my food-lovers and fellow plus-size girlies, kisses to you! You’re beautiful!

SPRING 🥭

“Baby!”

You grinned as you heard Miguel’s shout from the front door. His voice had a giddy tilt as if he made a breakthrough in one of his projects.

“I was finally able to stop by the new Jamaican spot before they sold out and look what I got us,” Miguel says before he slides the take-out bags across the table. “Ribs, oxtails, rice and beans, mac, and your favorite…fried plantains!”

You quickly untie the bags, happy to have a break from your research paper, and immediately get hit with the smell of spices both sweet and savory. “Oh my god! That looks incredible.”

After frantically digging around for a plastic fork, you were finally able to pull a piece of meat off the oxtail. It looked mouth-watering and tender. One bite of the meat and you’re immediately groaning, slumped in your chair. You nod your head and scrunch your face, watching as the juice from the gravy soaks into the pieces of rice stuck at the bottom of the take-out plate.

“That is so fucking good, Mig. No wonder there’s never any combos left by the time you leave work.”

Miguel just watches you eat with a glint in his eyes, happy to see you so relaxed and enjoying the food. He reaches into the second bag, pulling out two bottles of juice, “And to make it better, I got their fruit juice, made fresh daily-”

“Passionfruit and mango flavor!” Your eyes got big as you jumped up and wrapped your arms around his neck. He knew how much of a juice fanatic you were, so this drink was just the cherry on top of the large ice cream sundae that was your generous boyfriend.

“Thank you, baby,” you giggled and gave his cheek a fat smooch. You patted his chest twice and moved back to set up the table, “Now, hurry and wash up so we can eat this before it gets cold! We’ve got shows to watch.”

“Entendido, I’ll be right back”

SUMMER 🍦

You and Miguel were walking hand in hand along the Cancun Hotel Zone, taking in all the sights. Miguel’s job had given him a promotion along with an extremely high bonus, so what better way to celebrate than to use his PTO and bring the love of his life on vacation?

Granted, the area you guys were currently in was a little touristy, borderline bougie, but it was all worth it when Miguel got to see your eyes light up as you watched the turquoise waves fade into white foam along the shoreline.

You wobbled a bit while clinging to Miguel’s side, a little tipsy from the frozen paloma you drank to pair with today’s lunch. It was a waterfront restaurant with a live band so the vibes were just right for a little bit of liquid fun.

The downside was that the two of you were supposed to meet up with Miguel’s family later that evening and while you were fine with the confidence boost you were sporting, you wanted to be more alert when speaking with loved ones. Plus, you needed to give a good impression to the relatives you hadn’t met yet. It will be nice to put a face to the names of Miguel’s childhood.

“What do you say we stop and get some ice cream?” Miguel suggested, chuckling at you when you grinned up at him, ecstatic over the proposed plan.

“You know me so well,” you said, arms reaching around his waist, face squished into the side of his chest. “I would absolutely love some ice cream. Cool me down from the inside.”

Miguel chuckled and kissed the top of your head. You were especially cute when you got like this.

FALL 🍕

“Baby, check this out,” Miguel shouted, finally returning to your table with your food.

The fair was packed full of people, especially due to the pop-up food truck festival happening that same week. You had never seen more people run to get fried turnip greens and loaded fries in your life.

Still, this was just another chance to hang out with Miguel. You really didn’t care where you went with him, as long as you got to see that pretty smile.

You look down at the table and see what he brought back. Before your eyes sat the most un-Miguel order ever: birria pizza and two walking tacos, one Hot Cheetos and the other Dorritos.

“Dorilocos, Miguel. Really?” you raised an eyebrow watching him try to steady the open chip bags over some spread-out napkins.

“Amor, don’t look at me like that! I had to get them because Gabriel kept talking my ear off about this new food truck that made them better than the ones we used to eat on our trips back home. I, for one, don’t believe that for a second, so what better way to test that theory than to eat it with my baby?” Miguel gave the saddest look he could muster and slid his hand across the table, trying to convince you to indulge with him.

“Fine, fine. Don’t give me that look,” you say, pulling off a slice of the pizza, making the cheese stretch as long as you can. “Just don’t complain to me from the bathroom while your stomach fights to digest something it hasn’t had in over a decade!”

Miguel pursed his lips while shoveling as much food as he could on one Doritto, “Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that? That’s a lot of cheese, babe.”

“Oh my god, some queso tears up my stomach one time and you can’t let that go, can you?”

“It was once and yet you were in agony about it for days. I think I’m allowed to remind you at least monthly.”

“Just eat your food and leave me and my iron stomach alone. We’ll see what happens between today and tomorrow,” you quip, pulling your phone out ready to record Miguel’s reaction to send to Gabriel.

Miguel takes a bite and just leans against the table, head slumped on his clean head.

“Dios mio, he was right. This can’t be happening,” he groaned, slightly annoyed that Gabriel wasn’t exaggerating. He was also shocked at the fact that someone even came close to getting the local snack right.

You giggled behind your phone, happy that his reaction worked in your favor. You zoomed in a little more on his face, capturing him smacking his lips and licking off excess sauce. He was so zoned in on his food that he didn’t even notice you with your phone up.

“Is it good, Mig?” you asked, mirth in your voice.

He looked at you ready to answer but his eyes snapped to your camera and started to whine, “Amor, please stop recording!”

With a small smile, you made sure to add the video to your folder full of Miguel. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You just look so cute, I couldn’t help it.”

Miguel just mumbled to himself while stacking up another chip, neck heated over the interaction. “Here, just try this,” he said, holding a nacho close to your mouth.

You opened your mouth, just barely getting the chip in. Cupping your hand under your head, you begin to hum, the flavors all tangy, spicy, and savory. “I don’t know what your childhood Dorilocos tasted like, but this is really freaking good.”

“Just know that this one is only slightly better. By 0.00001% to be exact,” he said, rubbing sauce off of the corner of your lips and licking it off. The movement was muscle memory for him as he always liked to watch your face when you ate food, especially when it came to any nostalgic or homecooked dishes you never tried before. It warmed his heart to see you find comfort in his favorite foods.

“Well, I can tell you it’s 100% better than the ‘Taco Tuesday’ luncheon my job hosted last month. Nothing but unseasoned ground beef, endless black olives, and store-bought guacamole for two hours,” you respond, shuddering at the memory of soppy taco shells and your coworkers complaining about how spicy the mild salsa was.

“On second thought, this is absolutely a step up. Was the guacamole name brand at least?” He asked, peering up at you with a twist on his lips.

“I’m pretty sure it was a grocery store brand, so no.”

“Damn.”

WINTER 🍫

You were at your apartment in your bed, completely covered under the comforter with a fluffy blanket on top.

It was snowing heavily outside and you were freezing. However, your heater tended to make your apartment feel like a sauna, so you kept snatching the blanket off only to put it back on minutes later. Plus, your cycle was here. Your cramps left you lying on your side, rolling back and forth between the cool side of the bed and the warm side.

Physically, you were exhausted, but mentally, you knew you had so much to get done.

Christmas was just around the corner but you still had so many presents left to buy and wrap. Your job was doing the dreaded Secret Santa gift exchange and you were stuck wondering what gift would appeal to the stuck-up director in the accounting department.

You and Miguel were also hosting a small Christmas party amongst your friends, and there was still food left to buy. To top it all off, you were worried about your gift for Miguel, wondering if a silly little apron saying “Kiss me, I’m Irish” would hide the fact that you spent a ridiculous amount of money on some new tech he was eyeing.

You heard the apartment door open and close.

Knowing it was Miguel, you groan out dramatically.

He opens the bedroom door and peaks inside, “Baby?”

You just groan out again, “Everything hurts, Miggy.”

He comes up to bed and sits on the edge, “I know, amor. I’m sorry.” He bends down to kiss your head. “Want me to plug up the heat pack?”

“Yeah,” you say, leaning into his hands. When he gets up to grab the pack, you whine at his absence.

“I know, I know. I’m coming back,” he says, voice soothing.

Instead of turning the pack on, he removes your covers and sits back down on the edge. You shiver a little bit and he’s quick to cover your body with his, rubbing the top of your head as he kisses your temple.

“Are you feeling too bad to eat something for me?” Miguel asks, the timber of his voice settling you.

You shake your head and lean in closer to him.

“I think I want some food,” you reply, squeezing his body. “I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

Miguel tuts as he sits up and pulls you up with him, “That’s no good, baby. You have to eat so you can feel better. Your body needs it.”

You groan again and put your face in his neck, not wanting to move.

“Come on,” Miguel says, rubbing you from your back to your leg. “I got you some soup and a grilled cheese.”

“Did you get the stuff for the hot chocolate bar? For the party?” you whisper.

“Mm hm. Jumbo marshmallows included.”

You nuzzle his neck before you look at him, “Carry me to the kitchen?”

He makes a swift move to wrap your legs around his body and hike you up.

He gets up and holds you close, heading to the kitchen, “Let’s get some food in you, yeah?”

SPRING 🍇

The short spring break trip that Miguel surprised you with has been lovely. Miguel woke you with kisses down your body, taking you to the hilt with his mouth alone. You had to muffle your cries as to not disturb the neighbors in the inn. As his tongue danced inside of you, you gripped his hair with one hand and his head with your thighs. Miguel wouldn’t want it any other way.

After his first course, Miguel treated you to breakfast on the balcony. You two enjoyed looking over the horizon as you ate yogurt parfaits and fluffy omelets.

Later on, the two of you enjoyed a few tours of the vineyard and the city. The sights were beyond compare and the atmosphere was serene.

“Thank you so much for this Miguel,” you say, interrupting the silence.

“Anything for my lady,” he says back. “You’re doing great work this semester so you need the break.” Miguel stopped and turned to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You leaned up and kissed him, hands warm on the sides of his face.

You both started to makeout for so long that Miguel forgot about the massage he had planned for you before tonight’s farm-to-table dinner.

Needless to say, he laid you out on your bed and oiled your body down. Your head was in your arms as rubbed his hands up and down your back. His hands were heaven and you felt like puddy by the time he flipped you over.

After he massaged your inner thighs he pounded you into the mattress. Something you’re sure the hired masseuse would never be able to do.

Miguel joked and called it the Miguel Magic Massage when you asked if he offered this special regularly. The price? Being his cariño, his amor, his sweetheart.

By the time dinner started, you were glowing. You felt adored and the courses were amazing.

Miguel made sure everyone knew you were his. His hand never left your thigh the entire meal, staring down the older men sitting at the end table who were looking a little too long at the dip of your dress.

You were oblivious, feeding Miguel bites occasionally and humming at how fresh and delicious everything was.

After the last course was over, the men came to you all’s side of the table quickly. All of them started to make conversation with you, plugging in their businesses, and stuffing their business cards in your hands.

It was as if Miguel was invisible. He scowls deeper when they let out hearty laughs at something you said.

“Are you fellas here with your wives?” Miguel asked loudly, completely irritated. “My wife and I have really enjoyed our time here. It’s a beautiful place for couples.”

Some of the men went red in the face flustered at Miguel catching their scheme. Others just scowled, pissed off at being interrupted.

None of them could answer his question.

You looked at Miguel, eyes heavy and relaxed.

“You gentlemen have a great night,” you said, putting your hand in Miguel’s as he guided you to the exit.

“Your wife, huh?” you asked, core on fire. It was hot watching Miguel get so worked up over you.

“Baby, they were looking at you like you were some fresh meat. Like I wasn’t even sitting there,” he grumbled.

“One of them already offered to bring me on a cruise. He’s staying right next to us,” you say, standing outside your room as Miguel swipes his card at the door. You walked your fingers up his chest, heated over the grit you could see from his profile.

He was oh so upset.

“He’s next to us? Right here?” Miguel asked, voice low.

You nodded as you bit your lip, arm around his neck.

Miguel picked you up and dragged you to the bed. You giggled a little to yourself as he plopped you down. Mission accomplished. Silently, you thank those older men. If it weren’t for their overconfidence, Miguel wouldn’t have been tearing at your clothes like he us right now.

Miguel kept you up almost that whole night, making sure that the neighbors heard your cries. Those old geezers were sure to know his name by the next morning. Buying you a ring wasn’t enough. He needed a bat.

It was all worth it to see the tired and flushed looks of their faces when you all checked out the next day.

SUMMER 🍯

“What the fuck,” you mumble, looking down at the pair of jeans you were trying to put on.

It was early morning. You had a family reunion that you and Miguel would take a bit of a drive to get to.

You made sure that everything was packed the following night. Some clothes to stay for a few days, a few snacks for the road, a book for you to catch up on, and even a crossword puzzle book for Miguel.

You planned ahead. You were diligent. So why is it that when everything else is going right, your pants decide not to button up?

You pulled at the flaps once more, trying your hardest to connect the button with the hole. It fails as they slip from your grasp. You try again, sucking in your stomach as much as you could. You get the button to snap in this time, but it’s digging unbearably into your skin. The zipper fights against you as you try to pull it up.

You huff out in frustration and the pants snap open again.

Defeated, you let out a watery sigh and look in the mirror.

Your stomach was bigger than you last remembered, fupa a little more prominent. Your thighs were also a little thicker, the jeans hugging them a little tight. Your breasts looked a little big in your shirt. The family name stretches a bit more across your bust than the original design intended. Even your face was a little chubbier than normal. When was the last time your jaw was like this? High school?

When did you get like this?

You felt your throat start to burn, a sob building in your system. You’ve always been fine with your body, loving the dips and curves. Adoring your flaws and finding beauty in what society decides is not worthy.

You knew this. You knew that you were beautiful. Why was it so hard to get that thought into your conscience?

You felt the tears roll down as you peeled the jeans off of your legs. They were especially tight at your hips and you wondered how you even forced them past in the first place.

You didn’t know what to do. It was so hot outside, so you needed something comfortable, but those jeans…you had your mind set to wear those jeans.

You rummage through your closet in frustration, pushing and pulling the clothes across the rack.

By the time Miguel found you, you were squatting in the closet, hot tears covering your face.

“Babe, it’s been almost 30 minutes and we need to head out before the work traffic starts-”

Miguel stopped in the doorway as he noticed the state of the closet, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? ¿Que pasó, cariño?”

You wipe furiously at your face, sniffling loud as you hear Miguel push clothes to the side to get to you.

“My pants don’t fit. I don’t think anything else will fit either,” you say, stuttering out your words as Miguel gets to your side.

You let him pull you up into a standing position. You felt defeated.

Miguel looked at you and wiped away the tears that you missed. You feel horrible as your face scrunches up again, tears forming in your eyes.

“No, no, no,” Miguel says, hugging you close. “Listen to me. I know that this feels like a lot, but this is normal. Your body will always change with you. You’re still the same beautiful, gorgeous woman I met years ago and that’s not changing because you got some extra hips, baby.”

“But Miguel,” you say, voice so sad. “I feel like I just got those pants. And. Nothing else in here goes with this shirt. I’m scared that nothing else will fit-”

“And if that’s the case, I’ll buy you new clothes,” Miguel says, pressing kisses over your face. “If these clothes mean that much to you, I’ll take you to the gym. Let me work out with you, but until then, I’m loving your body as is.”

You stare at Miguel, heart beating at his revelation. He stared right back at you, daring you to question or challenge his words.

“Don’t beat yourself up over something like this. If anyone has ever let you feel insecure about your body, they’re an ass, let me deal with them. If I ever do anything to make you feel insecure, tell me. Yell at me. Question me, because as far as I’m concerned, that’s not me.”

He hiked you up on the closet island in the middle of the room. You shiver a bit as your naked legs hit the wood.

He leans closer, placing his hands on the side of you, “Now, let’s think. Don’t you have a pair of cargo shorts that match the ones I’m wearing right now?”

You whisper out a yes.

“Would you be ok with wearing those? I’m sure they fit perfectly.”

You say yes again, head leaning onto his. You could accessorize it perfectly. It would make a great couple’s look.

Miguel knew this much, he just had to get you to see it.

“I love you, ok?” he says, voice clear.

“I love you, too. Thank you,” you say.

“Anything for my girl,” Miguel says. “My beautiful girl. She’s just for me. I can’t believe it.”

Your heart beats faster as he starts to kiss down your body.

“Her face is so lovely.” A kiss to your cheek and your lips.

“She’s always working so hard.” A kiss to your neck and your collarbone. He pulls your shirt over your head.

“She makes me so happy.” A suck to your breasts as he unclasps your bra.

“Her body is beyond comparison.” A trail of kisses down your stomach, your belly twitching as his breath twinkles on along your skin. “Soft. Amazing. Irresistible.”

“Her thighs are my earmuffs.” A caress to your inner thighs. Your legs snap a bit, ticklish at his ministrations.

“Miguel?” you whimper out.

“I have to relax you before this ride. Can’t have you upset,” he says, kissing his way up your thighs to your panties. “May I?”

You nod your head, fingers grasping at nothing but then a flat surface.

Miguel was swift. He pulled your underwear down and kissed at your clit. You could only hold tight as he pulled your body forward and dove in.

It wasn’t long before you were shaking like a leaf. Miguel sucked at you for minutes, pulling a long orgasm out of your system.

He kneaded your thighs as you trembled around his tongue, humming as your legs squeezed tighter. That was the queue for him to go further, so he added his fingers to the mix, moving his mouth up so that his fingers could pump in and out of you.

It took all of your strength not to let your body drop off the other side of the island.

“Miggy, please,” you wailed. You wanted more.

Miguel looked up at you whining above him. You pull your legs up, holding your hands under your thighs, practically begging for him.

Miguel kissed up your body again. He was swift with removing his clothes. You still had to have these clothes fresh for later and Miguel was about to wear you out.

He moved to push himself inside of you, grunting as you gripped him.

He replaced your hands with his and pulled your legs up by his head. You balanced yourself on the island as he slowly started to thrust.

“So good. Just for me,” Miguel said, watching as your body moved with his movement. “Perfect. And all mine.”

You remained quiet, whimpering softly as he dragged against you.

“You heard me, hermosa?” Miguel said. “You’re beautiful. C’mon. Say it for me.”

“I’m,” you stopped, mind foggy. You didn’t know how you were supposed to respond when he was going so deep.

“Say it.”

You cried out as he snapped harder, “I’m beautiful.”

“That’s right baby,” Miguel praises you, bending further to give you a kiss. “So amazing.”

He praised you until you finished, squeezing at any of you that he got his hands. By the time he was done, your arms felt like jelly from holding you up.

He carried you to the bathroom for a quick shower, never stopping his reassurances of you.

You guys made it in the car an hour and a half off schedule, but it was worth it for the uplifted way you carried yourself throughout the day.

It was worth it to see you happy and healthy.

By the time you made it to the reunion, it was like you were born anew. You greeted your family with smiles and laughter. Miguel couldn’t help but to cheese watching you do your thing.

He felt his heart soar as you caught up with family. Your smile was the biggest as you were out on the floor line dancing your heart out. He was right up behind you when Outstanding came on. The song was really a declaration of how he felt about you.

You giggled as he crooned in your ear.

“You light my fire,” he sang, swinging your hips in time with his.

“I feel alive with you, baby,” he spins you around to him, a smile on his face.

“You blow my mind,” he pulled you out and back in.

“I’m satisfied,” you squeal as he spins you in the air and puts you back down to keep dancing.

Outstanding. You really knock him out.

Another season where Miguel adored you more.

Another season where Miguel wanted you to be forever his.

Another season where he made sure he fed you well.

Another season of you making his heart pound.

Another season of your love reaching to the fullest.

Miguel was excited for the next season with you.

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading! 💗

Any likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated. Let me know how you feel! 🥺🧁

Until next time,

-Lauro 💗

#love lab fics 🧫#to the lab testers 🩻#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara x plussize!reader #miguel o’hara x chubby!reader #miguel x reader #x plus size reader #x chubby reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel spiderverse

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mixergiltron · 3 months

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Laissez les bons temps rouler!

It's that time of year again. Time to listen to cool jazz,throw beads to wild women,and drink powerful cocktails. Mardi Gras has nothing to do with Tiki,but both feature cocktails made with rum,so that's good enough for me.

Mix #138 The Hurricane

2oz aged Jamaican dark rum 1/2oz Demerara rum 1/2oz overproof Jamaican rum 2oz fassionola red 1/4oz grenadine 1oz lemon juice 1oz orange juice

Shake with ice and pour into hurricane glass.

The Hurricane is the classic drink that is associated with both Mardi Gras and New Orleans. Its creation is attributed to Pat O'Brien's,a famous bar in the French Quarter. There are several versions of the story,but basically they had a whole lot of cheap rum they wanted to get rid of,so they created a drink to do just that. The classic Hurricane features anywhere from two to four ounces of rum,citrus juice,and either fassionola or grenadine(or both) to give it a sweet taste and its signature red color. It's infamous for both its potency and hangovers. This version is from mixologist Brian Maxwell. As with most Hurricane recipes,I know there's rum in this,but I just can't taste it. It's very sweet with a touch of citrus on the end,and packs a punch. This drink will use up both your rum and inhibitions. Exactly what a Hurricane is supposed to do.

Mix #139 When the Levee Breaks

1.5oz Barbarcourt 8yr rum 1.5oz multi island white rum blend 1/2oz overproof Jamaican rum 1.5 oz fassionola red 3/4oz falernum 1oz lemon juice 1oz orange juice 4 dashes bitters

Shake with ice and pour into hurricane glass. Float 1/2oz of Fernet Branca on top.

This is a Brian Maxwell creation,his riff on the traditional Hurricane. Call it a grown ups' Hurricane. It's not as sweet and you can actually taste the rum and some spice. It'll smash you up just as bad as the classic Hurricane,but you'll feel classier drinking it. I left out the Fernet because it doesn't agree with me,but this was definitely an upgrade over the classic tourist drink.

Mix #140 Tangipahoa Planter's Punch

2oz aged Virgin Islands rum 3/4oz lime juice 3/4oz orange juice 3/4oz pineapple juice 1/2oz grenadine

Shake with ice and pour into zombie glass.

This is a classic drink from the '30's,modernized by Brian Maxwell to sweeten it up a bit. A very nice drink with a nice sweet/tart balance.

The original Tangipahoa Planter's Punch came from a recipe published in the 1937 book,Famous New Orleans Drinks and How to Mix'Em. I was actually able to track down a pdf of this volume on the web,and in there found a drink named for a pirate which crosses over into Tiki territory. Here's my modernized version:

Mix #141 Jean Laffite Cocktail

1.5oz dark rum 1/4oz orange curacao 1/4oz Demerara syrup 2 dashes absinthe 1 egg yolk*

Shake well with plenty of ice and strain into chilled cocktail glass.

*I used egg substitute.

Jean Lafitte was an infamous pirate who operated out of New Orleans. In his honor I used Smith & Cross,a proper pirate rum. It's similar to a traditional sailor grog,with the other ingredients serving to take the edge off the rum. A bit harsh for my taste,but give it a try if you like your drinks to be liquor forward. By the way,the cocktail actually has the correct spelling of his name,the one F two T version is the misspelling that was used in English language documents at the time,and is used for places that are named after him. Another fun fact,the original recipe called for "absinthe substitute". This was because at the time absinthe was illegal. Fortunately it's available now,since it features in many Tiki drinks.

So put on some Dirty Dozen Brass Band,catch some beads,and let the good times roll!

youtube

#rum cocktails #rum drinks #cocktails #rum #mardi gras #carnival #mardi gras cocktail #Youtube

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agenderautomaton · 11 months

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Were none of you going to tell me that mangoes are actually good???

Seriously, you were all just going to let me spend another few decades thinking those pretenders you can get from the supermarket are comparable to the actual fruit?

Now I understand why mango juice and mango candies are so delicious and popular while the fruit itself always seemed just "meh".

Even more respect for my grandparents - moving countries to give their family better opportunities and leaving behind THAT. If someone told me I'd have to give up proper mangoes to migrate here, I'd probably cry.

Like, I cannot overstate enough the difference there is. I was literally sending pulp flying all over the kitchen while trying the Jamaican mango. This mango was so soft, I thought it might've been rotten. But I took one whiff of that entrancing mango scent and I simply couldn't stop myself from going to town.

This fruit was so juicy that no one could've ever accused her of faking her orgasm. The flesh was coming apart in my hands. The skin was actually edible!

I was planning to cut it up nicely with a knife, to share or add to a dish or something else. I could not keep my face out of this fruit.

If more people knew what was being held back from us, I predict there'd be rioting in the streets.

#can't even communicate the scale of the difference through memes #the virgin supermarket mango vs the chad jamaican mango #you vs the guy she told you not to worry about #Me:'Can we get some mangoes' Mom:'We have mangoes at home' The mangoes at home:🍏#I UNDERSTAND now

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survey--s · 5 months

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686.

1 - When was the last time it snowed where you live? Do you like snowy weather or is it just a pain? There's about a foot of snow outside at the moment. I love it but it is a pain with work - at the moment my car is stuck in it so I've had to cancel two jobs tomorrow already.

2 - Are you expecting any parcels in the mail right now? Yeah, it was due yesterday but with the snow I doubt it'll be here for a while yet.

3 - How long is it until your birthday? Do you have any plans for the day? A week. We're going out for lunch but otherwise I don't really have any plans. I'll be buying myself some more wax melts too.

4 - What was the last thing you had to drink? Apple juice.

5 - Do you need to do any laundry right now? No, I always do all my laundry on Friday so I have the weekends free.

6 - Who was the last person you got a notification from on social media? Is this person a close friend of yours? Rosie and no, not really. She's more my mum's friend but she added me on Facebook 'cause she likes seeing all my animals, haha.

7 - Do you regularly buy things on credit? If so, how much do you owe on credit cards right now? I do use my credit cards for big online purchases but I have more in savings than I owe. I currently owe about £1500.

8 - When was the last time you got a call from an unknown number? Did you answer or call them back? Yesterday and I didn't answer or call them back.

9 - When was the last time you got off work early? What was the reason and did you do anything fun with your extra free time? Thursday last week because I had a cancellation due to illness. I just enjoyed the extra hour of free time.

10 - What do you typically eat for Christmas Dinner? Are you the one who cooks or does a family member do the cooking? We do a roast chicken with stuffing, pigs in blankets, Yorkshire puddings, carrots, peas and gravy, and then crumble or chocolate log for dessert. I cook and Mike washes up.

11 - What time did you wake up this morning? Did you get out of bed right away? Just before 6am and no, I didn't get out of bed until about 8ish.

12 - Do you have any plans for the weekend? Are these plans typical for a weekend or are you doing something different? We've actually been snowed in all weekend which is definitely not typical. I've just stayed at home and played with the dog in the garden, lol. He's loving it.

13 - Would you like to work a job that involves going in and out of other people’s homes all day? (Like care work, painter, decorated etc.) I guess I do that at the moment. I actually quite enjoy it but then mostly my customers aren't home so I don't need to actually speak to them, hah.

.14 - When was the last time you had an injury? Was it a minor cut/scrape or something more serious? What happened? I honestly don't remember.

15 - Do you ever watch movies or TV shows that require you to read subtitles? Sometimes, but I can't remember the last time I did.

16 - What accents are your favourite? Scottish, Irish, Australian, Jamaican.

17 - How many people have you texted today? Are these people friends, family members or something else? My mum, Mike, Louise and Suzanne. They're friends and family.

18 - Are you any good at DIY? What was the last DIY project you finished? Nope, haha. I can paint stuff but that's about the extent of it. The last thing I painted was a bookshelf during lockdown when I was bored.

19 - When was the last time you had a haircut? When was the last time you dyed your hair (if you ever have)? I had a haircut a few months ago. I haven’t dyed it for about 3 years.

20 - Do you prefer wearing tight-fitting or loose-fitting clothes? Tight-fitting bottoms, loose-fitting tops.

21 - Are you currently warm, cold or just right? Is the heating or air conditioning on to contribute to that feeling? Just right. The heating has been on and I'm wearing a hoody and sitting under a blanket too. It's -1 outside though!

22 - What was the last piece of good news you received? Was it expected? That a customer was home tomorrow so I don't need to worry about getting to their dogs. It wasn't unexpected but I needed to confirm.

23 - What colour socks are you wearing right now? They're grey with white around the toes and at the top.

24 - Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? What about hot tea or iced tea? Hot coffee, iced tea.

25 - What are some of your favourite Christmas songs? What time of year do you start listening to Christmas music? Cold December Night, Mary's Boy Child, Fairytale of New York, Driving Home for Christmas, Christmas Lights, Stop the Calvary. I listen to it all year round but mostly from mid-November.

26 - If you see cats wandering about in the street, do you stop and fuss them? Hah, yep. Nothing better than a strange cat making friends with you!

27 - Speaking of cats, do you own a cat? Are they a particular breed or just a moggie? Would you ever want a specific breed of cat at all? We have three moggies - two black and one ginger, all boys. I love the idea of owning a Savannah or a Maine Coon but they're so expensive and Savannah's especially need specialist homes.

28 - When was the last time you moved furniture around to clean behind or underneath it? Do you need someone’s help in order to do that? Yesterday to clean around the cat tree and table. I didn't need anyone'e help but it's just a job I don't do very often.

29 - Do you have any medications that you need to take daily? Is this something you’re going to have to do for the rest of your life? No, thankfully not.

30 - Do you know how to start an open fire and keep it burning without using loads of wood? Is this a skill you use on a regular basis at all? Yeah, I don't need to do it much anymore but we had no heating in our house a couple of winters ago so it became an essential.

#survey #surveys

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nsk96 · 7 months

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Personal rant:

I know I've been doing quite a bit of these rants often, but I can't keep a physical diary and doing these rants here will allow me to easily send these to my future therapist (about that, my mom doesn't want me seeing one until I get a job, as if they will have access to my personal medical records just like that. Even if they manage to access them, all they are gonna see is how effed up my dad and mom are...maybe that's why she doesn't want me to see one. She was opposed to the idea since the first time I brought it up. She agreed to let me see one a few months ago but I didn't get a chance to arrange an appointment because of my hospital IPPE rotation. Now she is opposed to it again and I have to wonder why I have to keep explaining to her how it's not going to affect my future jobs)

Anyways, back to the actual rant. Every time I decide to stay home to study on the weekend, I regret it. I focus so much better at the school library in the study rooms. The problem is that the school is at least 30 minutes away, which means with a good amount of traffic, it can take me 40 minutes or even nearly an hour to get there. But honestly, I feel like it's worth it. My mom keeps trying to convince me to stay home, saying that the drive is a waste of time. If I can't focus at home, aren't I wasting even more time then?

Today, my dad is pretending to be pissed and that my mom has to buy a new toaster oven because ours has become a fire hazard after using it for about 5 years (maybe more I don't recall when we bought it). Anyways, he's always blaming her for spending too much money. My mom often says, "I have to buy stuff for the house" which translates to "food, snacks, juice/water, paper plates (because my dad complains about having to do dishes even though it's the only household chore he's responsible for), napkins, toilet paper, paper towel, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, etc." Literally things we need. This is what happens when one person in the marriage is responsible for all of the grocery shopping for 30+ years. The other person in the marriage forgets how expensive it is to live and only sees what's coming in. They don't see how much things actually cost.

Either that, or he's just using this as a thing to complain to his family about to turn them against my mom, like he always does. It is very apparent that he talks shit about her to them, because my aunt (his sister) when she came to visit had to audacity to tell my mom that she should be doing everything in the house because she was the one who wanted this house. My mom corrected her and said, "I wanted to move into a retirement home." My aunt was shocked and said, "then who wanted this house?" My mom gestured at my dad and said, "him."

Because he's pissed off today, he's slamming doors as he goes in and out of the house. He's turning on the water really hard while he washes his turkey-frying pot, and he's clanking dishes. He's definitely doing all this on purpose, he knows I'm trying to study and that I need quite to do so. How I know he's doing this on purpose? I've seen him do these things much quieter when I wasn't studying.

Just about 30 minutes ago, I put a couple of Jamaican chicken patties to bake, one for him and one for me. I got mine when it was done and told him the second one was for him. He ignored me (he was less than 3 feet away. There's no way he didn't hear me). I repeated myself and even said, "Did you hear me?". He ignored me again. He does this to my mom all the time. I scoffed and said as a joke, "I guess it's mine now." I still left it in there because I know he'll complain or talk shit to his family or our neighbor, Otto (and I know he talks shit to him because Otto had the audacity the other day to tell me "help your dad" and said "don't tell [my mom] that I said that, she might make me do the dishes".

Realistically, I shouldn't be eating both if I intend on keep up my weight loss progress anyways. I don't know if he will eat it, because he likes to put on these tantrums so he can get away with watching tv all day or literally doing nothing all day. But I do know, that once I leave it out there with him, I won't be able to eat it later without running the risk of getting horribly sick from it (because you know what he likes to do to our food). Just watch, later he will be like, "I don't feel like eating it. You can have it." It's happened many times before.

Honestly, I'm tired. I can't study, I'm nearly failing my classes because of it. He's still out there making noise on purpose. I hate this shit. I want to move out but now I know I don't have my mom's support and she expressed that she doesn't want me to move out. And now she's holding on even tighter. The other day after my health fair I wanted to stay at school to study but my mom begged me that morning to come home after the health fair all because she "dreamt that trouble was coming". Turns out the trouble was actually at the health fair, and I missed out on time to study because once again, I can't focus at home. I'm pretty sure now, that I have ADHD and being home makes things worse. It's been like this my whole life and I feel like it's gotten worse as I get older. I'm tired

Update: My mom came home after spending hours outside trying to find a toaster oven. They didn't have any suitable ones at our usual store so she went to another store. By suitable, I mean they were either too small or too big, or the type that overheats on the outside making it a potential fire hazard. She settled on one that is both a toaster oven and air fryer that costed a little over $100. My dad now wants to be upset that she spent that much on a toaster oven. I asked, "then why didn't you go with her?" His response "it doesn't matter what I say, she won't listen to me." Maybe if you spoke to her like she is a human being, she would listen to you. Maybe if you didn't ignore her all the time or talk down to her with disrespect, maybe she'd value your opinion. He's now looking online for a toaster oven and going, "look this one is just $88." Dude! Why didn't you look this shit up before she left? You knew since last night, approximately 17 hours ago that we needed a new toaster oven. But no, you want to b*tch about the purchase to make her feel like shit while you get to enjoy using the product right? Because you can't give her credit for anything...like usual. This is what happens when she lets you take credit for things she does just to boost you up in front of other people. Now you weaponize everything against her and use it as fuel to turn your family against her, our neighbors against her, and your coworkers against her (you don't want to know how he talks to her in front of his coworkers).

#personal #rant #pharmacy school adventures #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic parent #tw dad mention #tw mom mention #tw narcissistic parent #tw narcissism

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digitalsavy15 · 9 months

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Top Rum Mixers That Make Rum Taste Simply Amazing

Rum's connection to privateers and mariners hasn't given the soul an especially refined history or notoriety. In any case, this is by all accounts evolving. Rum can now be seen in numerous mixed drinks, going from the easy to the perplexing, the enjoyable to the refined. Simultaneously, there are numerous rum blenders to browse.

Rum blenders permit you to partake in every one of the tasty flavors that rum brings to the table, without making complex mixed drinks. All things considered, you'll simply require the actual rum and another fixing. A press of lemon squeeze or lime squeeze frequently helps as well, yet even this isn't fundamental.

Similarly, as with different spirits (like bourbon, gin, and tequila), the best blender will halfway rely upon the rum that you pick. This decision is particularly significant for rum, as there can be significant contrasts between various rums.

The variety is halfway in light of the fact that rum is simply characterized as a soul made from sugar. Most rum is produced using molasses, yet pure sweetener can be utilized all things considered, and is now and again.

There are three principal sorts of rum - light, dim, and flavored. Dull rum has matured, which gives it a more intricate flavor profile, while light rum hasn't had to deal with much maturing. Flavored rum, as the name recommends, has flavors added in.

You'll likewise track down varieties in different regions. For instance, Jamaican rum is probably going to be dull or brilliant, with genuinely serious flavors, while Cuban rum is in many cases lighter. There is definitely not a solitary best sort of rum, however, the rum that you pick will impact the flavor of your beverage.

Top Rum Blenders

Coke

Customs directs that rum is delighted in with Coke, as opposed to Pepsi or off-brand pop, however actually the highball drink tastes really comparable no matter what the cola that you use. Rum and Coke is an exemplary mix on the off chance that you're drinking bad-quality rum or are searching for a basic beverage while you are out.

Yet, rum and Coke needn't bother with being inferior quality. Have a go at joining an art cola with white rum or flavored rum and see the flavor distinctions. Indeed, even utilizing cola with genuine sugar can improve things greatly.

Focus on the fixing proportion as well. Utilizing an excess of cola covers the kind of rum as a rule. Doing so may be fine for making lower part of-the-rack rum satisfactory, however, that's the long and short of it. For some other kinds of rum, consider a proportion like three sections of cola to one section of rum or even two to one.

Coconut Water

Coconut water and rum are fascinating decisions. The blend has an unmistakably tropical flavor, without the staggering weight and pleasantness that is available in numerous tropical rum mixed drinks.

The blend might be especially really great for keeping away from a headache, as coconut water is hydrating and offers a few additional electrolytes that you don't get with water alone.

Pineapple Juice

While we're discussing tropical flavors, here's another model - pineapple juice. The juice is a splendid and lively blender for rum, one that likewise assists with adjusting the qualities of the rum.

The catch is that you truly ought to utilize new pineapple juice, and that implies squeezing the pineapple yourself. I know, doing so is an aggravation, and pineapples aren't as simple to juice as citrus natural products.

Nonetheless, blending rum and canned pineapple squeeze simply isn't something similar. The flavor profile of the canned stuff is totally off-base. You'll wind up with a beverage that is extremely sweet.

On the off chance that canned pineapple juice is your main choice, think about making a mixed drink all things considered, for example, a pina colada. Involving more fixings in your beverage implies that the nature of any single part will matter less.

Squeezed Orange

Squeezed orange is a well-known blender, particularly with vodka and shining white wine, yet it's rarely joined with rum. The oversight is a disgrace, truly, as squeezed orange and rum do consolidate competently. The citrus has a comparative adjusting impact to pineapple juice, while as yet permitting you to partake in the intricacy of the rum.

This blend is vastly improved in the event that you depend on newly pressed squeezed orange, as opposed to a jug from a store. In addition, it isn't excessively precarious to squeeze oranges. The final product is definitely worth the additional work.

Grapefruit Juice

Grapefruit juice can join well with rum, with the pleasantness of the rum assisting with offsetting the cruelty of the juice. In any case, while certain individuals will appreciate grapefruit juice as a blender all alone, others might observe that the juice is excessively extreme.

Adding a little sugar and a club soft drink is an effective method for partaking in the kinds of grapefruit juice and rum, without an excess of power. A little lemon juice can be useful moreover.

Cranberry Juice

Before we get away from juices, cranberry juice merits notice. Cranberry juice has a particular pungency that makes it less sweet than most different kinds of natural product juice (besides grapefruit juice, obviously).

The prepared tones of cranberry juice are ideal with rum, giving you a delectable beverage, particularly for the hotter months. Utilizing ice and a sprinkle of lime lifts this drink so it is likened to a more mind-boggling mixed drink.

Soft drink Water

It's barely noticeable soft drink water as a rum blender, yet doing a disgrace is as well. Soft drink water consolidates well with any soul, as the air pockets help to bring the beverage up to another level, without compromising the kind of your soul by any stretch of the imagination.

Dim rums are particularly great with soft drink water, as you have the opportunity to partake in their complicated flavors and flavors. Furthermore, blending soft drink water and rum gives you a beverage that is not difficult to gradually taste.

Doing so is a phenomenal opportunity to partake in every one of the subtleties of your rum, something harder to do when you are drinking it straight.

Carbonated Water

Carbonated water is generally matched with gin, as the sharpness of the tonic consolidates well with the gin's flower notes. That equivalent harshness is a decent decision with rum as well, assisting with offsetting the pleasantness of rum.

You may likewise find different flavors coming to the front, like woody notes, particularly assuming you're utilizing matured rum.

You can likewise mess with the sort of carbonated water that you use. There are many specialty tonics out there now. Some of them are basically greater forms of carbonated water, where the makers stay away from counterfeit fixings to make a blender that preferences much better.

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thedisneychef · 11 months

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Chef Mickey Key Lime Pie Recipe: A Refreshing and Tangy Dessert

If you're a fan of sweet and tangy desserts, then you won't want to miss out on Chef Mickey's Key Lime Pie. This refreshing dessert is a signature dish of the popular Disney restaurant, with a perfect balance of tart and sweetness that is sure to please your taste buds. The pie filling is made from freshly squeezed key lime juice, which gives it a unique and zesty flavor, while the buttery graham cracker crust provides a delicious contrast in texture. This dessert is not only delicious but is also easy to make, making it a perfect choice for any occasion, whether it's a family dinner or a special event. So, let's get ready to whip up a delicious Key Lime Pie with Chef Mickey's recipe! More Delicious Recipes You Will Love: - Key Lime Coconut Martini- Walt Disney World Resort - Kitchen Blooper! Jack Skellington Sugar Cookies - Mastering Jamaican Buns: Avoiding Kitchen Mishaps I have a really, really warm place in my heart for this pie. When I was a teenager, I was very active in 4-H, especially foods group. As I think I mentioned before, my mother was actually our foods group leader. Anyway, every late January or early/mid February there was a food show, where the various foods group participants from around the county would bring a food that they’d made to be judged. You’d have to set your table the “4-H way,” be able to recite information about the food groups (later the food pyramid), and tell the judge how you completed your dish from start to finish. I participated every year, and I even remember my first recipe… Canned pear halves that, thanks to a carrot peel, some marshmallows and a raisin, I’d made to look like two little mice. Sounds silly, but when you’re like 7, I was as proud of those mice as I would have been if it’d been Thanksgiving dinner. As I got older and canned pear mice were no longer really an acceptable display of my culinary knowledge, I entered the seniors division where you were expected to create a whole menu. I still remember setting up my two place settings on a rickety card table, carefully serving the food, all while mentally rehearsing how many servings of what fit into which part of the food pyramid. It was a really, really big deal. The very first year I participated in the seniors division, this was the exact pie recipe (and perhaps the first pie I ever actually made) I used for my dessert. I’d never had key lime pie before, but from the first bite, I was hooked. Even my dad, who wasn’t really a fan of key lime pie, thought it was awesome which I remember was the biggest compliment I thought I could have gotten in the world. To this day, key lime pie is I think my favorite pie. The recipe for this pie came originally from a restaurant that is now long gone back when Downtown Disney was still called Disney Village Marketplace. However, this is the recipe still used for most of the key lime pies served on property. In fact, when I went to Coral Reef in 2008, this was the recipe used for the key lime pie served there at the time… And this is still the recipe used for the current Chef Mickey when key lime pie is on the menu. What I love about this recipe is that it’s a very traditional way to make key lime pie. No food coloring, no whipped topping in the filling, no lime Jello, no green food dye… Just sweetened condensed milk, eggs, lime juice. It’s amazing something so simple and uncomplicated could taste so deliciously good. This can be served with whipped cream or whipped topping on top, which a lot of people do to cut the sweetness, but I personally love it as-is. Conclusion In conclusion, Chef Mickey's Key Lime Pie is a must-try dessert that will leave you feeling refreshed and satisfied. The combination of freshly squeezed key lime juice and a buttery graham cracker crust creates a sweet and tangy flavor that is perfect for any season. Whether you're a fan of citrus desserts or simply looking for a new and exciting dessert to add to your recipe collection, this pie is sure to please. With its simple ingredients and easy-to-follow recipe, you can quickly make a delicious Key Lime Pie that will impress your family and friends. So, get ready to enjoy this delightful dessert that brings a touch of Disney magic to your kitchen! In addition to the delicious food and recipes, Disney World is also known for its unique dining experiences, such as character dining and themed restaurants. Whether you want to have breakfast with Mickey Mouse, dine in a replica of a sci-fi drive-in theater at Hollywood Studios, or enjoy a meal with an ocean view at the Coral Reef Restaurant in Epcot, there's something for everyone. And with the help of Recipes Today and the How to Make category, you can even recreate some of these magical dining experiences in your own home. So why not start planning your next Disney-inspired meal or dining experience today? Read the full article

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #16: “Carol” | December 24, 2007 - 12:15AM | S02E06

You know what I’ve been forgetting to do? Watching the DVD extras as they pertain to each episode of Awesome Show. I’m halfway through the freaking season, goddamn it. If I had been doing this, I would have realized that two of the special bumpers Tim & Eric made for the Snuggler stunt were right under my nose on digital versatile disc. I feel like a fool.

The reason I was moved to check them out for this episode is that it’s another Carol/Mr. Henderson episode. The outtakes for these sketches are usually really great, especially any sequence where Tim is hanging out at Carol’s cubicle. Those guys are masters of their craft when it comes to Mr. Henderson saying disgusting, humiliating things to Carol.

Before we get to that, we start off with an okay Brules Rules. I wonder if this was leftover from season one, which had a small handful of Brules Rules throughout the season. This one doesn’t do much for me, but I like he starts off by saying he has a Brules Rules “that you can’t live without if you wanna stay in school”, which is just garbled nonsense that only sounds sorta right. Very good dumb guy stuff from Brule.

We’ll circle back to the Carol and Mr. Henderson sketch, which recurs three times in this episode. I’d rather talk about it at the end. I wanna talk about Candy Tails. This is a fairly gross product; a fake pony tail made of horse hair that you dip in candy sauce and clip to your actual hair. With a mess like that, you might as well just use your own hair. This has some really funny visuals, like the mom’s eyeballs going cuckoo when she tastes her daughter’s Candy Tail. There’s also Candy Tails for boys, which tastelessly appropriates Jamaican culture in the name of marketing the Candy Tails in a more masculine way by calling them dreads. Later on we see a cartoon show tie-in where cheery horses discuss how happy they are that their tails are getting bobbed so that a wealthy child can suck juice out of it. I forgot about this sequence completely.

Just like in “Chunky” (the previous Carol and Mr. Henderson episode) we get a Crystal Shyps sketch. I wonder how intentional that was? At one point, Tim & Eric submitted “Chunky” as their worst episode to Adult Swim’s Turkey Day marathon. Doing what feels like an intentional sequel to it seems gratuitous on a sketch show, which for some reason makes me think it might be a coincidence.

Anyway, the director of Crystal Shyps is selling Crystal Shyps merchandise on a shopping network. He has a chunk of fools gold on the table that he’s really proud of, and points out that it’s not for sale. That’s such a hilarious detail. The sketch is about tempers flaring when somebody calls in to abuse him over the air, causing him to smash his own merch. This is a good one, and feels pretty visceral. A.D. Miles smugly smashing one of his own mugs with his hunk of fools gold is so hilarious. This transitions into a little animated sequence called “Space Horse Course to Course”. Respect must be paid to Tad Ghostal.

David Liebe Hart gets a song with his new son, a doll puppet that he got to replace Chip the Black Boy, his original “son” puppet. Chip the Black Boy was a regular staple of his public access show Junior Christian Teaching Bible Lesson Program. This song has a very pleasingly dumb bit at the end where they go back and forth with a lame comedy bit, they trade the lyrics “I’m the best dad” / “I’m the best son” and then they start bickering “No, I’m the best dad” “No, I’m the best son” as if they somehow negate each other. DLH’s donkey brain at it’s best. I love this song!

Tim’s asleep, so it’s time to wake Tim up seems like it might come from the same season one well of them horsing around at Abso Lutely studios, or the sketch where Tim & Eric are pranking each other. Tim takes the prank in stride: “you got me, friend”. Fans of bein’ silly, take heed! This sketch is for you and your silly heart.

The main running sketch is the Carol and Mr. Henderson bits, which sorta appear here instead of the normal “Tim & Eric are hosting” segments. It’s very similar to the first sketch, with Mr. Henderson cruelly mocking Carol while they are both seemingly turned on by the abusive dynamic. The extended sequence of Tim berating her at the cubicle is worth seeking out if you are a DVD haver. What made the cut is great, too. I could watch an entire 11 minute Awesome Show that is just Mr. Henderson saying disgusting things to Carol.

In this installment, Carol makes a sexy music video for Mr. Henderson, who immediately shows it to the entire office just to humiliate her. She’s hurt by this, and writes a resignation letter, but when she goes to deliver it she discovers Mr. Henderson watching the tape in private, pleasuring himself. This is set to a touching Aimee Man song. The ending is weirdly sweet: with Mr. Henderson mouthing “I love you” through his office window to Carol on the sidewalk, and her mouthing back “I know!”. They repeat this action over and over again; a Tim & Eric specialty. On their recent Valentine’s Day watch-along they chalk it up to not knowing how to end their sketches. I’m glad they ended it this way. Just fucking wonderful, man. GREAT episode.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

youtube

Christmas and end-of-the-year Marathons

I figured I’d just discuss Adult Swim’s Christmas/year-end programming here! There were a few things of note! First, Adult Swim had a couple weeks leading up to Christmas where they routinely played Christmas episodes at midnight (as to not interrupt their regular weekday showings of Futurama, Family Guy, and anime).

On Christmas eve, they aired a Christmas episode marathon. They showed (as per swimpedia):

11:00PM: Futurama: Xmas Story

11:30PM: Futurama: A Tale of Two Santas

12:00AM: Family Guy: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

12:30AM: Robot Chicken: Robot Chicken's Half-Assed Christmas Special

12:45AM: Robot Chicken: Robot Chicken Christmas Special

1:00AM: Stroker & Hoop: I Saw Stroker Killing Santa (a.k.a. A Cold, Dead, White Christmas)

1:30AM: Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future

1:45AM: Squidbillies: Rebel with a Claus

2:00AM: Astro Boy: Snow Lion (premiere)

I don’t think Astro Boy was a Christmas ‘sode, but it sure sounds wintery to me. Put on your winter best and (splash) dive in. Speaking of Astro Boy: On Christmas day, there was an Astro Boy marathon.

Then, from December 26 through December 30th, Adult Swim said goodbye to Futurama with one last Futurama marathon. five straight nights of just Futurama and nothing but. Their contract ran out. At this time they started producing direct-to-video movies that they later cut up into 30 minute episodes. The repeats moved to Comedy Central, who eventually produced new episodes. I think they played every episode. On December 31st, they showed the first and last episodes back-to-back. Then it was midnight, and Futurama was done. Adult Swim recently picked it back up, and I believe it’s currently airing now. Isn’t that nice?

That’s it for 2007! Tomorrow we will roll directly into Space Ghost week, covering the 1998 episodes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. So fire up your HBOMax and/or illegal torrent and/or majorly expensive OOP DVDs and lets get Ghosty. Hey, that’s not bad.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job

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cuisinecravings · 1 year

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Where Does Sea Moss Come From?

Where Does Sea Moss Come From? You've come to the right site if you're seeking for the greatest approach to improve your nutrition and general health. You can get all of that and more from sea moss! But how would you know whether it is the greatest kind of sea moss, and where does it actually come from? Stay tuned as we learn some fascinating details about the different kinds of sea moss and where to find them.

Where Does Sea Moss Come From?

Describe Sea Moss.

Sea moss is a species of seaweed that naturally grows along the rocky Atlantic Ocean coasts of North America, Europe, and Britain. This sea plant is edible and comes in a variety of sizes and hues, including green, yellow, purple, brown, and black. This enchanted plant contains 92 of the 102 minerals that your body requires to thrive. Juices and smoothies are the most common liquid forms in which sea moss is consumed.

Where Is Sea Moss Originated?

For approximately 14,000 years, sea moss has been used in a variety of ways as a food plant. Rock pools along the Atlantic beaches between North America and Europe are a common source for its harvest. The Caribbean, Asia, and Africa often have warmer waters where Irish sea moss and Jamaican purple sea moss can be found. Sustainable sea moss harvesting, or "wildcrafting," is a prevalent practise. With no human involvement, this method of harvesting makes sure that the seaweed is taken straight out of its natural environment.

Where Is the Finest Sea Moss Grown?

The best sea moss can only be found in the water and is wild-crafted. The fact that it is entirely natural and rich in nutrients that are good for the body is its best feature. Always choose sea moss that has been harvested from the wild if you're trying to buy some but are unsure of what kind to choose. Instead of harming you further, inferior sea moss will just boost your body's ability and benefit it. Jamaican sea moss versus Irish sea moss Irish sea moss is more difficult to find than Jamaican sea moss, which is the fundamental distinction between the two types of moss. As a result, Jamaican sea moss rather than Irish sea moss is typically used in products that contain sea moss as an active ingredient. These varieties of sea moss have quite varied flavours and aromas. Compared to Irish sea moss, Jamaican sea moss has a more subtle scent. The length of its growth season is the cause of the Irish sea moss shortage. Irish sea moss only grows for a brief period of time, so you can only harvest it during specific seasons of the year. In contrast, Jamaican sea moss grows all year long, so you may harvest it whenever you want.

Sea moss species

Although it can sometimes be referred to as algae, the phrase "sea moss" is used to describe a variety of unique species of seaweed. The ocean is home to hundreds, if not thousands, of different kinds of sea moss. Since many people recommend taking sea moss, it is best to understand its various forms and consequences before doing so. lavender sea moss Compared to other colours, purple sea moss has more antioxidants. Since they are more difficult to farm, most of them are wildcrafted. A plant that is collected from the wild or from its natural environment is referred to as wildcrafting. Because it grows on rocks, purple sea moss is frequently gathered and harvested from the shorelines and tidal pools that surround the ocean. Related Articles :- Boiling Sea Moss Sea Moss Drink Recipes To Try Can You Put Sea Moss Gel In Hot Tea? Is It Good for Health? How To Store Sea Moss? How to Store Sea Moss for Long? Can I Put Sea Moss Gel In My Coffee? Is it Good? What Is Wildcrafted Sea Moss? How to Check Know? Sea moss in gold Compared to other hues, gold sea moss is simpler to locate because it grows all year. The main drawback to this is that it grows in pools, which raises the possibility that you'll buy some sea moss that is deficient in certain nutrients. The weeds of gold sea moss can frequently be decorated with a variety of contradictory hues, ranging from dark brown to purple. emerald sea moss Chlorophyll, which is frequently present in green plants and allows them to produce food using carbon dioxide and water, is abundant in green sea moss. This kind of plant is thought to have more vitamins and minerals than other plants, making it the ideal substance for your health. Sea moss from a pool vs that that was harvested from the wild Before delving into the depths of sea moss and its remarkable nutrients, it's critical to comprehend the distinction between sea moss harvested from the wild and sea moss grown in swimming pools. The amount of nutrients you ingest each day and their number make up the main distinction between the two. For instance, sea moss harvested from the wild has a higher concentration of nutrients than sea moss produced in a swimming pool. The colour and structure of the seaweed are where the two most obviously diverge. Additionally, sea moss harvested from the wild contains natural sea salt, whereas sea moss produced in swimming pools has table salt sprinkled on its stems! The salt content of sea moss harvested from the wild versus sea moss produced in swimming pools differs significantly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-K7S48Qp2Q Sea salt is healthy for the body, especially for people with high blood pressure, and regularly consuming wild-crafted sea moss is frequently advised. Table salt, on the other hand, poses serious health risks, particularly when ingested in high quantities. So your use of sea moss from swimming pools in smoothies ultimately raises your risk of high blood pressure!

What Advantages Does Sea Moss Offer?

There are many vitamins and minerals in raw sea moss. They include only a small amount of sugar, fat, and calories. They are the ideal supplement to your diet because they are high in protein. Irish sea moss, when consumed in unprocessed form, provides: - Calcium - Iron - Magnesium - Zinc - Copper Particularly effective at healing and ridding the body of toxins is sea moss. In essence, it works as a detox, enhances digestion, promotes weight loss, and regulates blood pressure.

How is Sea Moss Used?

Depending on what suits you best, there are many ways to consume sea moss. A thick gel made from sea moss is frequently created by soaking and blending raw sea moss. This gel is frequently used to fruity smoothies or used as a thickening factor in most recipes. One option to add nutritional advantages to your morning milkshakes is to add sea moss gel. Sea moss can also be taken orally in capsule form, raw, or powdered form. Answered: Where Does Sea Moss Come From! Understanding sea moss's habitats and the different varieties is crucial. This will establish its credibility, allowing you to benefit from its nutrients with confidence.

FAQs

Where Does Genuine Sea Moss Originate? An example of an algae or seaweed is sea moss. It grows in the waters between North America and Europe's Atlantic shores. Where Can You Find Sea Moss in the Wild? In addition to the warmer regions of Asia, South America, Africa, and some areas of the Caribbean, sea moss is naturally present along the Atlantic coast. Where Is the Source of Wild-Crafted Sea Moss? Sea moss is naturally grown in the ocean, free from any human interference. In addition, it is rich in nutrients and has a richer flavour than sea moss cultivated in swimming pools. What Is the Origin of Purple Sea Moss? On the Jamaican coast of the Caribbean Sea, purple sea moss is a typical type of seaweed. Where Is the Source of Sea Moss Gel? Dried sea moss is combined with water to create sea moss gel. Read the full article

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edgewaterfarmcsa · 2 years

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CSA WEEK 14

p i c k l i s t

CHERRY TOMATOES - FLAT LEAF PARSLEY - SWEET CARMEN PEPPERS -

CORN - ONION - GREEN BEANS - EGGPLANT - KALE - SHISHITO PEPPERS!

This week we are dealing with the good (your kale), the bad (aphids on the kale), and the ugly (it’s just not that cute). However, the aphids (the tiny white and green bugs for those that are unfamiliar) don’t really do MUCH damage to the kale nor do they modify the taste, so they are not a huge concern to us farmers. We will not lose an entire crop because of them. But you, the eater of the kale might be thrown off by a tiny colony making home in your food. If that is the case, wash your greens OR tear off the piece of kale with tiny aliens living in it, and carry on with your meal making. Another not so super cute look this week involves your green beans. They are good and delicious BUT some of them are marked with what looks like rust. This is due to plant density and often happens towards the end of a green bean plant’s life cycle. Bottomline here, this green bean plant gave their all from sprout to harvest, and we are the lucky eaters along the way. Let us consider this rust a mark of age and prestige.

Other news from the week: we finally wrapped up our onion harvest which amounts to about half a normal sized crop for us. We celebrated this - not even close to a- victory with our field crew and after hour beers on Saturday night on our front porch underneath the most brilliant harvest moon. Three of our eight greenhouses we set aside for Fall CSA have been planted up with all sorts of green things- lettuce, kale, chard, asian greens, herbs, etc- all to balance out the bounty of root crops that lie ahead. Oh, and my favorite update from the week came about while picking cherry tomatoes in which I learned ALL ABOUT the MacDonald’s Farmers Almanac (not to be confused with the Ronald variety). This is a book that is heavily leaned on by the Jamaican farmers on our crew. The book guides you through the growing season by using the moon as a tool for when and what to plant. For example during a full moon in September, you harvest your carrots, during a new moon in June, you seed your beets. Roy, a long time farmer that splits his time between here at Edgewater and back home in Jamaica, has a few employees working for him in Jamaica. Because he is not there from May-November, he uses the Almanac to guide his decisions. So far so good he says. He has been looking to Macdonald’s (but actually the moon) for farming guidance for over 20 years now. So awesome to learn about this practice, and maybe it’s not a bad idea to look to the moon for guidance as it is such a constant! Not to mention the force it has on tides and birth!

Lastly, I’m already looking forward to next week’s CSA when we begin to harvest our soybean planting (hello edamame!)

Pro-tips:

Yield: 4 servings

2 cloves garlic, crushed

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 teaspoons ground coriander

1 teaspoon chili flakes

1teaspoon sweet paprika

2 tablespoons finely chopped preserved lemon peel (available in stores)

⅔ cup olive oil, plus extra to finish

2 medium eggplants

1cup fine bulgur

⅔ cup boiling water

⅓ cup golden raisins (optional)

3½ tablespoons warm water

2 teaspoons parlsley, chopped, plus extra to finish

2 teaspoons mint, chopped

⅓ cup pitted green olives, halved

⅓ cup sliced almonds, toasted

3 green onions, chopped

1½ tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

½ cup Greek yogurt (optional)

Salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

To make the chermoula, mix together in a small bowl the garlic, cumin, coriander, chili, paprika, preserved lemon, two-thirds of the olive oil, and ½ teaspoon salt.

Cut the eggplants in half lengthwise. Score the flesh of each half with deep, diagonal criss cross cuts, making sure not to pierce the skin. Spoon the chermoula over each half, spreading it evenly, and place the eggplant halves on a baking sheet, cut side up. Put in the oven and roast for 40 minutes, or until the eggplants are completely soft.

Meanwhile, place the bulgur in a large bowl and cover with the boiling water.

Soak the raisins in the warm water. After 10 minutes, drain the raisins and add them to the bulgur, along with the remaining oil. Add the herbs, olives, almonds, green onions, lemon juice and a pinch of salt and stir to combine. Taste and add more salt if necessary.

Serve the eggplants warm or at room temperature. Place ½ eggplant, cut side up, on each individual plate. Spoon the bulgur on top, allowing some to fall from both sides. Spoon over some yogurt, sprinkle with parsley and finish with a drizzle of oil.

GARLICKY NIGELLA GREEN BEANS From Eden Grinshpan’s book EATING OUTLOUD

serves 4

1.5 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more for boiling water

1 pound green beans trimmed

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon nigella seeds or sesame seeds, lightly toasted (or no seeds at all- this will still be insane)

1 large garlic clove, grated

Grated zest of 1 lemon

Juice of ½ lemon

Bottomline, a quick and easy way to demolish these beans and obsess over how good…

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the green beans and cook until just tender, about 1 minute. Drain and transfer the beans immediately to a serving bowl. Toss with the salt, olive oil, nigella seeds, garlic, lemon zest, and lemon juice and serve warm.

One big ass kale salad

I need yall to know that all week I’ve been eating one big ass kale salad, and you should too! KEEPS FOR DAAAAAAYS! All you need is your big old bunch of kale, Olive Oil, lemon juice, honey, feta, salt, pepper and minced garlic. Add everything to taste, massage together for a few minutes to break down the kale and, VOILA! Lunch after lunch after lunch until gone :)

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chadwick211 · 2 years

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8 Different Types of Rum to Try from Sendgifts

How familiar are you with rum? Rum is often misunderstood, despite its great appeal. Rum was once even used as currency by sailors and pirates.

Rum is a full-bodied spirit with a rich history. Furthermore, rum is a highly versatile liquor that has some rich, nuanced flavor profiles. You can enjoy it neat, on the rocks, in a cocktail, or with soda of your choice. Rum is still produced worldwide. It is less regulated and controlled in certain countries than other types of spirits due to its buccaneering roots.

We have a wide selection of fine rums at Sendgifts. Get your order delivered right to your door from our extensive rum collection.

Learn more about the various types of rum in the following article.

The different types of rum

As rum-making tradition varies from region to region, there are a wide variety of rums available.

French Rum

A French rum is made in former French territories, such as Guadeloupe, Martinique, and Haiti and dominated by the Rhum Agricole style.

The most common substance used to make rhum is sugar cane juice. Therefore, it tastes more earthy than molasses-based rums, which tend to taste more sweet. Prior to consumption, Rhum Agricole must be aged for a minimum of three months according to regulations.

Spanish Rum

Spanish-style rum comes from islands and countries once controlled by Spain. Additionally, Puerto Rico and Cuba produce the most light rum in the world.

Typically, Spanish-style rum is made with molasses sugar as a base. In spite of the fact that most Spanish-style rum is light, there are many regional variations. As an example, the Canary Islands produce a honey-flavored molasses rum, which is much darker than Spanish-speaking rums.

English Rum

In the West Indies, the British territories played an important role in the production, popularization, and use of English rum.

The English rum usually has a darker color and is based on molasses. In addition to spiced rums, the British West Indies is known for over proof rums.

The British West Indies also have a fair amount of rum variation. Barbados rums, for example, are often mixed with column stills to create a balanced, medium-bodied flavor. In contrast, Jamaican rum tends to have a more intense, fruity, and full-bodied flavor profile. Fermentation periods are often longer and have some similarities to sour mash whiskey where the bottom still sediment goes into the following batches.

Another famous rum region is Demera in Guyana. El Dorada rum is one of the world's most famous brands of rum, produced at one distillery in the area.

White Rum

White and light rums are often criticized for being unmatured and lacking in nuance. However, this isn't the case with all white rums.

A majority of light rums spend at least three years in oak barrels before being bottled. They gain a golden color as a result of this process. Rum undergoes a charcoal filtering process after it has been aged. This removes the pigment and leaves it with a clear hue.

Cheaper white rums aren't aged well, which is why it has a reputation of being of low quality. Nevertheless, if you treat yourself to a good white rum, you might be surprised at how rich the flavor is.

Puerto Rico white rum, for example, has a pleasingly sweet and mellow flavor. This is one reason why you'll often find them in tropical cocktail recipes, such as daiquiris and mojitos.

Gold Rum

There is a common misconception that the darker a rum is, the longer it will age. While this isn't always true, it can be a general indicator of aging.

Real gold rum does not differ from this rule of thumb. Despite its lack of strength, gold rum tends to have more flavor than lighter rums. Medium-bodied, with gentle aging, it is a crowd favorite.

Dark/Aged Rum

A distiller can remove pigments from rum to make it clear, as well as add pigments to darken it. Because of this, not all dark rums are actually well-aged. Dark rums are also sometimes confused with black rums or blackstraps. These contain additional molasses and are a lot sweeter than true dark rum. They're best suited to dark and stormy cocktails.

The term dark rum, however, is traditionally associated with aged rum. A good dark rum will have a maturation period listed on its label.

It is best to enjoy dark rum neat, since they have exceptionally deep, complex flavor profiles. Using a fine dark rum in a cocktail will dilute and obscure the flavor.

Spiced Rum

Even though spiced rum isn't a favorite of rum connoisseurs, occasional drinkers enjoy it. Over 55% of rums sold today are spiced and flavored.

A lot of spiced rums are cheaper and of lower quality in the market. Still, there are some excellent spiced rums out there.

Most often, distilleries will start with light rum as a base, and then add various spices, including clove, anise, cardamom, cinnamon, and rosemary.

Flavored Rum

Another popular choice is flavored rum. Several flavored rums are sold today that aren't actually rums. Instead, they are rum-based liqueurs. Most coconut and pineapple rums are like this. For a true coconut rum, we recommend Koloa Kauai Coconut Rum. It is a beautifully nuanced, highly-mixable 80-proof rum made with water from Mount Waialeale in Hawaii.

#rum #sendgifts #dark rum #white rum #rum gifts #wide variety of fine rums #extensive rum collection #different rum types #light rum #flavoured rum #english rum #gold rum #spiced rum #online liquor store #online alcohol delivery services in USA and Canada #fastest delivery of alcohol

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mixergiltron · 1 month

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Roll out the barrel.

While the title of my post is a traditional polka tune,don't worry,we're sticking to barrels as they relate to Tiki. Specifically,the drink known as the Rum Barrel. Created by Donn Beach,there have been many variations and riffs on the original to the point that it's anyone's guess exactly what the original recipe was. This is due to the fact that Donn didn't want his bartenders stealing his recipes,so he wrote them in code. So here's a pair of recipes and a modern riff to keep you rolling.

Mix #155 Rum Barrel

2oz white rum 2oz overproof Jamaican dark rum* 1oz orange juice 1oz pineapple juice 1oz grapefruit juice 3/4oz lime juice 1/2oz honey syrup 1/4oz grenadine 1/4oz allspice 1/4oz velvet falernum 1 dash Angostura bitters 6 drops absinthe

Blend with 6oz ice and pour into barrel mug.

*I used Smith & Cross.

I shook this because my Blendjet is still out of service. It's sweet and fruity with an absinthe aftertaste. It's also really strong. Those four ounces of rum(two overproof) pack a punch,and all that sweet will give you a blazing hangover if you're not careful. And you really don't taste the rum,so it's easy to get out of hand with these. Really probably a good idea to share this drink with a friend.

Mix #156 Print Rum Barrel

1oz dark Jamaican rum 1oz Lemon Hart 151 3/4oz pineapple juice 3/4oz lime juice 3/4oz orange juice 3/4oz passionfruit syrup 3/4oz simple syrup

Shake with ice and pour into barrel mug.

This came from a print I found on Tumblr. You see these on the web and for sale on Etsy. Their Mai Tai recipe is wrong,but I decided to give this a shot. It's sweet and citrus-y with the passionfruit coming forward. An ounce of 151 gives it some kick,but it's not as bad as some recipes which feature more rum. Actually a nice drink.

Mix #157 Bamboo Barrel

1oz white rum 1oz gold rum 1/2oz Demerara 151 rum 1oz pineapple juice 1oz lime juice 3/4oz grenadine 1/2oz passionfruit syrup 1/4oz allspice dram

Blend with ice and pour into mug.

Shook this one too. Created by Forbidden Island's Justin Oliver,it has a nice sweet/tart flavor with the grenadine coming forward and the 151 adds a good kick. Quite good.

So keep on rollin' folks. Follow these recipes and you'll do it right.

#tiki drinks #tiki #rum cocktails #tikiculture #rum drinks #cocktails #rum #tikilife

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anabsolutetrainwreck · 3 years

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you sunshine, you temptress || h. styles

warnings: mentions of sex & alcohol, fwb, swearing

word count: 1.6k

summary: a night in jamaica and a morning in london change your life entirely...

They say it takes 66 days to form a habit. But you’d already lost count of how long you’d been sleeping with Harry. It already felt like an addiction.

His skin on yours. His lips on your neck. Your hands in his hair. His cold rings against your warm thighs. These were things you craved. And, at first, you’d felt guilty sneaking around with Harry. But that grew into pure lust and excitement at the very prospect.

No strings attached. It had always been no strings attached. Sex, drinks, maybe some more sex, and then do it all again a few days later. Sure, maybe it would get repetitive. Maybe it would bore you occasionally. It began to almost feel like a routine and that wasn’t what either of you wanted. You wanted spontaneous sex and moments of overwhelming lust. But it kept the two of you happy. What more could you ask for?

It started in Jamaica. On a holiday with your mutual friends. Maybe this wasn’t where Harry deemed the origin of your arrangement to be, but it was certainly where you did.

The two of you and a group of friends had gone back to Jamaica for a couple of weeks. Harry had settled on Jamaica as the destination because he’d had such a euphoric time the first time he went to write his first album. He simply wanted to return without the looming pressure of work.

Sarah had gone to find Mitch, leaving you outside on your own. You didn’t at all mind. It was hot, the sun warm on your bare legs. You had your book in hand, though you’d long forgotten it. Your eyes had fluttered closed, the heat making you tired despite the lovely sleep you’d had the night prior.

It went cold and, as you opened your eyes, you looked up at Harry, who was standing over you. He smiled down at you, tugging the book from your hands. He sat himself down opposite you, where Sarah had once sat. “I love this book,” he grinned, inspecting the cover. “What did you think?”

“I’ll tell you if you let me finish it,” you said, sheltering your eyes from the sun with your hand.

He chuckled, tossing it back to you. You watched him carefully as he lay back against the chair, running his hand through his unkempt hair. The two of you sat in silence for a good four or five minutes. He cleared his throat, “Soaking up the Jamaican sun, are we?”

You shrugged, sitting up to look at him, “Well, I can’t get a tan in England, can I?”

He laughed, “Suppose not.”

And that was that. But that was the first time you felt something different when speaking to Harry. Maybe you were just slightly weary from the sun, or maybe you actually felt nervous when he looked you in the eye. And, from that moment, nothing between you and Harry ever felt the same. Not really.

It was short-lived. When you were sat on the kitchen counter in the early hours of the morning, taking slow sips of a glass of water. You’d been watching the moon dance across ripples in the water of the sea you were staying beside. “Can’t sleep?” a voice came from the doorway.

It was Harry. He walked into the kitchen, leaning against the island opposite you. You shrugged, “Just thirsty. You?”

“I’ve been watching romcoms all night,” he said, chuckling quietly.

You smiled, “Well, you know what they say: people do travel to Jamaica to watch romcoms all night. Something about the atmosphere, I reckon.”

“Of course,” he nodded, grinning. “Had to embrace traditions, didn’t I?”

You watched as he poured himself a glass of orange juice, sitting down at the island. The silence between the two of you was comforting but perhaps the most excruciating thing you’d ever felt. It was undeniable that there was tension between the two of you. “Right,” you said, sliding off the counter, placing your glass in the sink, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Harry was very prepared to smile and nod and watch you leave as you made your way up to the bedroom you’d claimed as your own. However, he spoke before he even had the chance to think, “Y/N… do you… do you want to watch a romcom?”

You turned back to look at him, “Sure.”

So, you sat in his room, watching some cheesy romcom. It had been fine. It had all been fine. You’d told yourself it had been fine. That was until the characters on the television screen made the development in their relationship to which they became something more than friends. “See,” you sighed, your eyes trained on the screen, “it never happens like that.”

“It could,” he replied quietly.

You shrugged, “But has it ever happened to you?”

“Well, not like that. But it could still happen to me,” he said.

“Maybe,” you smiled. “Still hope for you yet, Harold.”

“Go on then,” he grinned. “Why are you such a romcom Grinch?”

“Until I feel the same way Rachel McAdams does when someone kisses me, I will continue to dislike these movies,” you said.

And when he kissed you, asking how you felt, you’d shrugged. Though, your actions contradicted your small smile before you leaned forward and kissed him again. It was risky and you weren’t entirely sure what you were thinking. But perhaps that was the most delicious part: you weren’t thinking at all. Sarah and Mitch were in the next room over and you and Harry were kissing.

From then on, it had been secret quickies in the kitchen and deliberate stares in the garden. It was the best time of your life. The secrecy of it all, the hiding away from the rest of the world. You often wondered if Harry liked it because it was his own. This arrangement he had with you, it wasn’t anybody else’s. Nobody else could have it because it was kept out of the eyes of your friends and most definitely those of the media.

“I need to go,” you whispered, your eyes landing on the clock on the wall. You were meeting your sister for breakfast and, if you didn’t drag yourself out of bed soon, you were going to be late.

“Don’t go,” Harry said quietly, running his fingers up and down your arm. “You could stay for breakfast?”

“I can’t, I’m going to meet my sister soon for breakfast,” you replied.

“Orange juice?” he said, pouting.

You sighed, smiling, “Fine, I’ll stay for orange juice.”

You shrugged, “You don’t have to thank me.”

He watched as you clambered out of his bed, slipping into your clothes from the night before. He reluctantly joined you, the two of you finally venturing through to the kitchen. A moment of almost deja vu as you sat at his counter as he poured out a glass of orange juice. You noticed his smile - he must have felt it too. Thanking him for the drink, you took a large gulp, the citrusy liquid livening you up a bit.

The silence, unlike the night in Jamaica, felt extraordinarily domestic. There was no excruciation to it this time. It was only when Harry opened his mouth that there was a shift in the once perfectly serene atmosphere, “Are we gonna do this forever?”

“What?” you said. “Are we gonna fuck forever?”

He nodded, staring at you, waiting for you to say something. But you weren’t entirely sure what to say. So, you choked out, “If you want to call this thing quits, I’m okay with that.”

“No, no, no,” he shook his head quickly. “I was thinking of more of an… upgrade?”

“An upgrade? I’m not a phone,” you scoffed, grinning.

He chuckled, “Like… like a premium package?”

You snorted, “A premium package?”

“Yeah, you know, the sex with a couple of extra benefits,” he said.

“What are these extra benefits?” you asked, finishing your orange juice.

“Dates… cuddles… and… more sex?” he replied.

You laughed, grabbing your jacket from the counter. He followed you as you walked towards his front door. “Does the friends with benefits premium package come with a special name?” you asked, turning back to look at him.

“I like to call it ‘girlfriend’,” he said.

There it was. There it was. You’d been waiting to hear him say it and there it was. “Are you, Harry Styles, asking me to be your girlfriend?” you asked, grinning.

“Perhaps I am,” he said, shrugging. “Depends what your answer is.”

“Well, ask me and you’ll find out.”

“Do you, Y/N, want the friends with benefits premium package, ‘girlfriend’?”

Though your answer may have been nonchalant, it didn’t match the way you felt inside. Oh, inside you were screaming. You’d been waiting for this since that night in Jamaica, watching a romcom with Harry in his bed. Everything had built up to this. “Yeah, fuck it, go on,” you replied.

He smiled, his eyes exploring your face. As if it had changed in your sudden shift in relationship. He kissed you. You kissed him back. And, if you didn’t have breakfast with your sister, you were sure you’d never leave his side. “Feel like Rachel McAdams yet?” he grinned, pulling away.

#harry fanfic #harry fanfiction #harry imagine #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry x y/n #harry x reader #harry x you #harry imagines #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shots #harry one shots #harry styles one shot #harry one shot

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