Technically the Richmond coaches had two chances to move Jamie to center and then didn’t take it: once when Zava showed up and once when they switched everyone at practice.
Both times they assumed he wouldn’t do it
At the very least we know he was willing to do it the second time (he even asked if they meant to give him the same position), but honestly? The Jamie who came to them worried about the effect of Zava on the team might’ve done it too. He is well on board with being a team player at that point, which he also demonstrated many times in season two. He probably would’ve been hurt by it, but he would’ve agreed to do it
(Then we could’ve had a whole season deconstructing how Jamie conflates scoring with winning with value in a way that really isn’t healthy but I digress)
For the record I don’t think this would have fixed anything. They probably would’ve figured out how effective Jamie is in midfield sooner, but they still would’ve had Zava, and after Zava there would’ve been the tension of whether to keep Jamie where he was or have him step back up to striker, especially since they weren’t doing total football yet. In a lot of ways, having Jamie step up and volunteer for it later really sidesteps a lot of drama
I’m more so lamenting the fact that with Jamie, when it came to ‘be curious not judgmental, they chose to remain judgmental of his past behavior instead of curious about his new ones.
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Some thoughts on season 19
This is probably going to be one of the most personal things I ever post on social media. But I have some thoughts.
Sarge and Doc died. Doc wasn't even killed on-screen. Was barely even mentioned until the end. He died having only saved two people in his entire career as a medic. Sarge died, and Donut wasn't even there to see it happen.
Was he off grieving Doc? Was he just doing other stuff? I don't know. But he was gone.
Why was he actually gone? Probably for budget reasons. Time constraints. Studio trouble and issues with the engine or model or whatever else. Writing constraints that forced Donut and Doc into such secondary roles. Into dying off screen. Into not even being there when two people you care so much about die.
But like, how much of that was actually in the narrative's control? They had these limitations to write around, and it put these characters in situations where they couldn't be in narratively satisfying roles.
In some ways, it's the most brutal depiction of what life is like.
When I was 14, I lost touch with my best friend. I just didn't keep my phone on me often at the time. He died. I think, if he had lived, he would have gone on to do some absolutely amazing things. He didn't get to. He called me a couple days before it happened. I didn't see it.
Death isn't fair. But it's not the end.
I think, if the story had had more time, these characters could have had better roles. But life isn't always so kind. Death isn't always so kind. We lose people when we're not looking. We blink and people are gone.
Doc, Sarge, Church, and Tex are dead. Wash was in an institution again. Tucker just went through all that. Grif went back to earth.
That's... that's brutal. Why don't I hate it? On paper, I'd hate it.
I think it might be because it doesn't feel like a goodbye, or even the end. There are loose ends. A lot of them. There's so much pain there, so much healing and moving on to be done. Just because Grif went back to earth doesn't mean he and Simmons don't call all the time. Just because Donut wasn't here to maybe save Sarge doesn't mean he won't be there eventually.
Just because Doc only saved two people doesn't mean it didn't matter.
Life is brutal. Death is brutal. Shit happens. Shit that isn't fair. Whether it's people we love dying, or just studio drama fucking a show.
But... that doesn't mean it's the end.
Doesn't mean Simmons is going to be alone, doesn't mean Doc died for nothing, doesn't mean Sarge's sacrifice meant nothing, doesn't mean Wash or Tucker's lives are ruined, or that Caboose can't have a new best friend.
I like to imagine Donut taking up medical studies after this. Doc saved him. He's going to make damn sure that matters. Maybe Blood Gulch becomes something of a boot camp for some future loser rejects in need of a home that Simmons can guide.
Church, in all his forms, may be gone. But that doesn't mean they're going to be so quick to forget. Leave the past in the past. But still look back from time-to-time. It got you where you were.
Sometimes we pass memories down through stories. Sometimes, just in the choices we make throughout our lives.
But just... unfair things happened. To the show, and to the characters in it. To the people running it. My best friend died when he was 14. Monty Oum died in his prime. Life is tragic. But hey, it's not the end. It's just the start of something new.
Maybe it isn't perfect. Maybe it isn't ideal. Maybe it hurts. Maybe it'll never stop hurting. But it can still be beautiful. it still has meaning.
It may just be a silly show about Halo dudes, but it matters.
Tl;dr: Raven is stupidly sentimental right now
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Joel thinks he needs to be the ultimate protector, but doesn't realize how invaluable he is to Ellie as a provider and a nurturer
I keep thinking about how Joel goes through aalllll of that in ep 8, the torturing and the killing and the tracking, thinking he's on the warpath, probably thinking he's either gonna rip some bitches apart right in front of Ellie or simply avenge her -
Just for the end goal of simply being there for Ellie. He doesn't even get there in time to pull her off of David, or to guide her out of the burning restaurant. He's only in time to be someone safe for her to hug and hold onto.
Joel is forever stuck in this place where protection is the one thing Sarah needed from him on outbreak night, that he couldn't give her. On day 1 with Ellie, he defaults to the trauma of failing at being that protector, and throws himself at that FEDRA guard, tells Ellie to be careful, etc.
But he does not provide for her - Marlene provides, for a bit. He definitely doesn't nurture her - Tess does, however briefly and gruffly. Joel thinks he's just there to be a trigger finger and a pair of fists. And he WILL use those things to protect this little girl - the absolute bare minimum that he failed to give to Sarah. To prove he can. That he won't fail like that again... until he does. Over and over again.
But I wonder - does Joel ever think about how he was able to provide for Sarah? Working a blue-collar contractor job to support her as a single parent, give her a home, posters on her wall, cute clothes, money for fixing broken watches and eating eggs for breakfast? Working so hard that he forgets to buy a cake on his own birthday?
Does Joel ever think about how he was able to nurture Sarah? He was emotionally available. He made her smile and laugh. He was a tough man's man who still hugged and held his daughter and talked to her and apologized to her and teased her and carried her in his arms. She could tease him back and scold him and go through his things without fear of him snapping at her or stonewalling her. They watched bad movies and took care of their neighbors together.
I love that Joel eventually taught Ellie to hunt. How to keep watch and be alert and keep herself alive. He probably thought that needing to transfer his skills to Ellie means he's already failed at protecting by default, but he SUCCEEDS at providing! Where so, so many other characters in this show fail!
To Joel, the happy fun times with Ellie - however brief they are, just little bright spots in a few episodes - are probably detours, little distractions he allows himself, but he's there for her again and again. Apologizing to her. Making her smile. Giggling at her stupid jokes. Teasing her. Asking her about herself. Telling her stories. He's not all the way there yet, but he's been there enough that Ellie CHOOSES him. Even when Joel may not be the best choice - the best protector.
And now at the end of ep 8, there's ultimately nothing Joel can do. But he goes through hell - to nurture her, in the end, after Ellie spends weeks protecting him and providing for him. But that nurturing, loving nature is what Ellie needed the most, the one thing Joel thought was worth the least, and I am. Unwell.
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Oh. My. God. That cameo!
I really didn’t think we’d get any more insight on the previous season but I love love love how they handled this.
When I first saw Noaf and Rania, I got annoyed because I thought it was gonna be more Maryam bashing/discounting the bullies, but I was pleasantly surprised when she showed up to pay her respect and wasn’t shunned out from the memorial.
This finally confirms what I always knew (but most viewers didn’t for some reason??)—that Maryam didn’t do what she did with the intention or knowledge of getting Layan killed (still a plot hole how Rania revealed the issue of the gun to Dina/Noaf but not Maryam). I’m glad the show finally cleared that up because the issue of the honour killing lies 100% on the brother, and I really didn’t like the implication that Maryam became evil at the end and that Layan didn’t deserve any consequences.
The show finally framed the conflict in a way that’s compassionate towards all the characters and acknowledges the cruelty of both the bullying and honour killing. I love that we got to see them all grieving and learning from their mistakes, especially Miss Abeer.
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He asks him exactly once.
Some months after the world almost ended, Crowley still smells smoke and tastes fire whenever he first enters the bookshop, and so every single time he stays into the evening, he gets drunk. It's not the ideal way of dealing with it, but it works, and, really, it's not going to last forever.
(Right?)
Either way, it's past midnight and he's absolutely shitfaced. Aziraphale pulled out the good whiskey around eleven, and while he is still nursing his second glass, Crowley has lost count of how many times he has topped off his. Looking back, it is hard to tell why that evening, why that question at that time - not that it matters much.
The room is spinning, he is less than artfully sprawled across the sofa and only held in place by a stern look Aziraphale had leveled at the cushions at some point; they wouldn't dare to let him slide off.
"Stars, angel," he says, responding to... something, surely.
"The whole bloody sky 's full of 'em, but you only see such a tiny teeny sparkling sparkle."
Pushing himself a bit more upright so he can face Aziraphale in his armchair, the liquid sloshing dangerously, Crowley impatiently waits for a response, flopping onto his back when he doesn't receive one within seconds.
"Y'know, 's all so pointless, innit?"
Even with his gaze tracing colourful swirling lines on the ceiling, he knows exactly what kind of frown falls onto Aziraphale's face, half worried and half thoughtful. Distantly, emptying his glass and miraculously not choking, he wonders what his concerned little pout would taste like.
"Maybe we're simply not supposed to know the point, my dear, the-"
"The Almighty 's not here, angel, She doesn't care 'bout my stars."
His interruption ends on a sigh, a puffy exhale laced with the first sparks of millennia old angry frustration, and his mind is jumping between centuries and memories alike, leaving him uncomfortably dizzy.
"D'you think," Crowley begins, his voice oddly steady, "She's still- does She care 'bout me?"
If he were fractionally less drunk, he would have sobered up before the words slipped past his lips, but he isn't, and he doesn't. Regret comes all the same, immediately and forcefully enough to punch the air out of his lungs. Home, he needs to go home, needs to take the question back, needs to run before the pity undoubtedly radiating from Aziraphale hits him. His limbs are dipped in honey, unresponsive to his commands, and he screws his eyes shut just long enough to get rid of the worst of the vertigo.
He does not know the answer nor which answer he wants to hear, and yet he has whispered the question to the stars countless times, receiving nothing but cold silence.
(I still love you, he wants to tell her, sometimes, hoping that maybe-
You made me and I still talk to you and you're my Mother, you're the heat burning in my the stars, you're watching us, me and him, and you have yet to punish us him)
With considerable effort, he pulls himself upright with one hand gripping the backrest, dropping his empty glass onto the floor and swinging his legs down next to it. His vision is a blurry haze, his mind too heavy to fully comprehend the panic raging behind it, and a familiar rush of blood in his ears is drowning out Aziraphale muttering in concern.
"Sorry, 'm leaving. See you t'morrow, angel."
"Crowley-"
Making it to the Bentley with nothing but a twisted miracle, he shakes off Aziraphale's fluttering hands, and falls into the driver's seat; she knows where to go, whether he's actually driving her or not. Loneliness seeps into his bones while the engine cools, and he forbids himself from thinking about the response Aziraphale might have given him if he had stayed.
The stars above London are distant and quiet like they always are, and not for the first time, Crowley accepts the silence as the answer it is.
(He asks the sky again three weeks later, he never did know when to stop with the questions.)
(Deep down, he thinks knows hopes if he just keeps asking, eventually She will answer; he hates Her almost as much as he misses Her.)
(Almost)
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