#Bridge of Faust

[awindofvengeance]

I’m legitimately so proud of myself for not looking at the Ilsa Faust tag on tumblr at all throughout it’s time in theaters or on streaming services bc if I had I swear to you I wouldn’t have watched dead reckoning tonight given Ilsa Faust’s fate. Like I’m 1000% sure I wouldn’t have given it a shot, if i knew she died.

#ilsa faust #but a little part of me still wants to believe it’s all a fake #and she’s alive #she has to be #right #no way that knife penetrated her heart #no way she died on her first trip to Venice #no way she died on a fucking bridge #hell no

[corktreedemos]

i have been listening to death valley on repeat for the past hour and i am convinced joe is a genius

#the main riff…… feeling insane #the transition between the bridge into the chorus is so well done it’s so satisfying to listen to #genuinely my favourite song off srar #actually criminal that it is the 3rd least listened to on spotify #faust talks

[flovverworks]

i need to make a proper rf verse for akira too but separating them from the wizards always makes me. ugh

#stardust speaking ! #i mean ill add some of them probably but i havent decided who yet. thats for future me #i dont even rmbr what my farming sim verse here even says #anyway i think akira & the typical rf protag (amnesia) would make them sad LOL...T_^ #<-person who just wants to talk about chloes tanabata instead #guy who thinks too much about how others must be feeling here & there #also been thinking about akira & muffy too. eats hat. romantics. city ppl who moved out. #that scene at the bridge with muffy and where she talks about her old colleugues head in hands #i have similiar feelings on akira w/ the typical protag (moved from the city) too with that #GUHHHH WRITING AKIRA WITHOUT THE WIZARDS is a bit different tho #lemme marinate these thoughts again. and then go back & forth on it who cares !!!! i can do whatever!!! #faust & nero would be rly fun in farming sim aus tho #also lumina is one of those that im surprisingly attached tooT_^ something about her feelings toward piano

[booksopandah]

The Quintara Marathon (Books 1-3) by Jack Chalker

Well, this was a wild ride, wasn’t it? You pick up a random series for the 2020 r/Fantasy Bingo, put it on your TBR for 2 years, only to come back and finally read it. Demons at Rainbow Bridge, the first book, is a really strong opener which fit the theme —Big Dumb Object, or BDO— quite well. Our introduction to the three intragalactic systems, the Exchange, Mizlaplan, and Mycohl, is well founded and interesting. The demonstrations of these different cultures in a microcosm of three recovery teams on different missions introduces the world well, and shows how quite different systems can still all thrive and produce excellent people within them. They all recieve the distress signal from Rainbow Bridge, and thus begins the Marathon. The continuation, The Run to Chaos Keep, traps the 3 teams within the BDO as they travel through bizarre and alien landscapes. Trust grows, but so does animosity, as they each learn more about the ancient race of Aliens known as the Quintara. The finale, Ninety Trillion Fausts, leaves each team battered, low on morale, resistance, and manpower, as each has suffered loses during the Marathon. Finally, the big reveal is of the necessity of team work from all three empires (or at least a few citizens of each) to fight and shut out the very real demons and corruption from the Quintara and their master.

Now, in many ways the series is fantastic. The worldbuilding in the first book is really remarkably imaginative, and the some of the philosophical discussions of the final book are genuinely convincing, or at least have their merits. Gun Rho Chin, the captain of the Mizlaplan crew, is without a doubt the author’s voice when a mystery needs to be solved, and listening to the logic of his deductions is a pleasure, much like any good detective story. It even has one of the more interesting takes on Christianity that I’ve read in specfic, which is nice given the usual lack of nuance that it receives.

By rights, this ought to be a stellar series, but unfortunately, it is science fiction from the late 1980s, and that means misogyny is nearly unavoidable. This book does not prove to be an exception. No, while the male characters are given interesting story arcs, or grand deductions, or strong characters, the women are most often treated as victims, or evil, or weak. The story occasionally tries to show something else, but the basic personalities in place are those not of female heroes, but of selfish or spineless creatures, with unthinking devotion to their cultural system (as in Manya, Kalia, or Grysta), directly or otherwise, or just plain moral failings which they must be saved from (Krisha and Modra). This shows itself some with the men, but not nearly so much. In fact, probably the most interesting female character, or least bashed by the narrative, is Molly, a synthetically created prostitute saved by Jimmy, with the approximate mental capacity of a child. At least she doesn’t immediately collapse under any obstacle.

On the whole, it was a very intriguing book series. I might even recommend it for that alone. But a fair warning, that if you do read it, be prepared for some of the worst treatment of women characters that I’ve read in a good bit.

#books #sff books #the quintara marathon #jack l chalker #the demons at rainbow bridge #The run to chaos keep #the ninety trillion fausts

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: a handful of insecurities the ikemen guys would adore.

WARNINGS: none!! :D

COMMENTS: happy holidays everyone!! i hope this makes at least one person feel loved by their fav <3 just know that this isnt a decisive list and that no matter your insecurity your favorite suitor would adore you to bits.

you might think that they're silly for adoring your stomach so much, worshiping any extra fat or polished muscle you possess. they revel in your softness, burying their face into your midsection whenever they get the chance, kissing the skin there when they wake up and resting a hand over your belly button when you two go to sleep. if you’re ticklish there, watch out, because they take great joy in poking and prodding you just to hear you giggle.

arthur, dazai, will, charles, luke, silvio, edgar, kyle, seth, loki, masamune, mitsunari, motonari.

they don't understand what’s so embarrassing about your body hair. to them, it adds a sort of human softness to your legs as they run their hands down your calves, feeling the slight prickle of where each strand begins and ends. they think it’s beautiful, smiling so softly as they cup your knee, rubbing their thumbs across your skin. they do the same to your arms, cherishing every inch of your body,  just to remind you that even if you don’t like your body hair, they do because it's you.

leonardo, vincent, faust, clavis, zero, sirius, fenrir, mitsuhide, shingen.

your nose is often where their kisses land, sprinkling the bridge of it with their love and affection. they caress your face so tenderly as they bump their nose against yours, and you can feel the smile on their lips when they lean in to kiss you again. no matter what shape or what size, they will never stop thinking that your nose suits you just perfectly.

isaac, jean, leon, yves, sariel, keith, jonah, luka, dean, oliver, hideyoshi, keiji.

they think your acne and your scars are beautiful, even if you hate the way they look on your body. they insist it could never take away from your beauty, that you will always and forever be radiant, even with the red marks and the dull, faded scars. they’ll help you take care of them so you aren’t hurt, but they will never let you believe that you’re ugly. that word should not be associated with you, not when you have constellations speckled across your face and scars that are on their precious love and their precious love alone.

napoleon, sebastian, licht, nokto, alter keith, ray, dalim, mousse, yukimura, kanetsugu, kicho.

...and along with acne, they know you could never look prettier, especially not without your cellulite or stretch marks or anything in between. they trace the folds and warps in your skin with reverence because you are their love, their light, and their darling, and for as long as they live they want nothing more than to be able to hold you. because you are a human being who is worthy of love, if not for your humanity then because of your humanity.

mozart, theo, comte, vlad, jin, chevalier, rio, gilbert, lancelot, harr, blanc, nobunaga, ieyasu, ranmaru, kenshin, sasuke, yoshimoto, kennyo.

#napoleon bonaparte x reader #leonardo da vinci x reader #arthur conan doyle x reader #isaac newton x reader #jean d'arc x reader #vincent van gogh x reader #theo van gogh x reader #ikevamp sebastian x reader #william shakespeare x reader #comte x reader #charles henri sanson x reader #chevalier michel x reader #clavis lelouch x reader #leon dompteur x reader #yves kloss x reader #licht klein x reader #rio ortiz x reader #silvio ricci x reader #keith howell x reader #gilbert von obsidian x reader #lancelot kingsley x reader #jonah clemence x reader #edgar bright x reader #ikerev zero x reader #kyle ash x reader #ray blackwell x reader #sirius oswald x reader #luka clemence x reader #fenrir godspeed x reader #harr silver x reader

[snailsnfriends]

friendship among girls

west wind (mary oliver) / a good love (charlotte ager) / twin stars (clairel estevez) / sex education (laurie nunn) / derry girls (lisa mcgee) / water serpents (gustav kilmt) / ribs (lorde) / anne of green gables (lucy maud montgomery) / the friends (max ginsberg) / in the company of women (january gill o'neil) / graceland too (phoebe bridgers) / wicked (winnie holzman) / fleabag (phoebe waller-bridge) / silhouette (janice lobo sapigao) / x / juno (jason reitman) / black iris (leah raeder) / jennifer's body (karyn kusama) / the art of loving and losing female friends (rachel vorona cote) / clothes swap/brooklyn 2008 (hope gangloff) / mabel (becca de la rosa & maybell marten) / twin stars (clairel estevez) / friends (colin bootman) / my little pony: friendship is magic (lauren faust)

#web weaving #web weave #parallels #poetry #humanity #friendship #collage #love #quotes #terfs/radfems fuck off #<- they stink up any girl related tags so #snailtrail.weaves

[ilsaafaust]

Dead Reckoning SPOILERS

Reasons why Ilsa Faust’s fate in DR is ridiculous and why there might be more to it: 

- McQ and Tom have always been so protective of Ilsa. They deleted the kiss in Fallout because they thought it made Ilsa weak at Ethan’s expense. That they’d fridge her is just soooo odd for them.

- Ilsa/Ethan first scene together is helping Ilsa fake her death and it is obvious to all of us and doesn’t really serve any purpose in the movie at all because she comes back immediately. I smell misdirection and foreshadowing. 

- They need to fool the entity. They know that the entity is trying to trap them, yet before the party, we never get to see them make an actual plan? We’re supposed to believe they just showed up at the party without a plan? Nope, there’s a reason why they didn’t show us any of that.

- Right before the party, Ethan says sth like “So we can’t trust anything outside this room.” helloo

- Ilsa’s smirking at the party? She knows something, she is up to something. 

- The entity thinks she’s dead at Gabriel’s hands and that means she is removed from the equation, basically making her a ghost and the perfect secret weapon to bring down the entity in part two.

- All the parallels to the first movie. Bringing back Kittridge. Remember how Jim Phelps “died” very similarly on a bridge in M:I 1? And what about the drug they use on Claire in that movie, making it seem like she’s dead?

- Ilsa is a very skilled fighter, she took down Vinter and Lane. She has a bloody sword while Gabriel has a knife and she doesn’t stab him from a safe distance? But keeps getting in way too close? The whole fight scene is stupid. And how did Grace manage to fight off Gabriel for so long but apparently Ilsa couldn’t? Something is so suspicious.  

- We never saw her die. Only her getting stabbed and her body. We know how easy it is to fake a death, once again, I’m mentioning that drug in M:I 1. And also, ahem Julia? Ethan knows how to fake a death.

- The reactions afterwards by the team are basically none and I refuse to believe that after RN and Fallout, they’d say sth about it for a minute and then never bring it up again.

 - Paris also got stabbed with one of Gabriel’s knives and Ethan thought she was dead but she wasn’t. 

- After writing Ilsa so bloody well in RN and Fallout, I refuse to believe they’d give her this shitty treatment and ending. 

-McQ said on threads that he won’t discuss certain plot choices until after part two.

#ilsa faust #i refuse to believe this shit #okay #there is more to it #mission impossible #dead reckoning #dead reckoning part one #dead reckoning spoilers

[natchastxin]

trip to venice.

Summary: Ilsa brings you to Venice despite your refusal and you confess to her the feelings of hurt you’ve had since she left you in Amsterdam three months ago which leads you to join Ethan’s team. You find her in the aftermaths of the fight on the bridge.

Pairings: Ilsa Faust x f!reader

Warnings: blood, slight smut

A/N: I just finished watching Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part 1 so I’m writing this to make myself feel less sad. And obviously there are spoilers for MI Dead Reckoning so don’t read if you don’t want to.

You loved her, you really loved her and you thought she felt the same way too. She told you so herself just that night she spent in your room in Paris after a stressful mission. So why did you find your bed empty and apartment bare as if she was never there? Had you dreamed the whole night?

The only evidence that proved that the night had transpired was the singular note she left on your nightstand, propped up against a glass of water. On it, etched on the delicate white paper was a single letter: I. The letter was accompanied with a heart that was drawn in the same swoopy style as the letter.

You picked it up and quickly turned it over in your hands to see if she had written anything else. Much to your disappointment, that was it. You laid back in your bed with the note clutched over your heart and closed your eyes as the scenes of last night flashed behind your eyelids.

—

A frenzied knocking woke you from where you had fallen asleep on your couch while watching your movie. Worried sick about Ilsa, you thought it best to distract your mind with something else. She came to your apartment before she left for Kashmir, letting you know how the mission was going to go down as you braided her hair.

You met her while in the MI6. She was the agent and you were... well, you were also an agent but you were better known for your bomb-diffusing skills, how well you handled a knife, and your medical skills. Funny thing, that was actually how you met her, in a knife combat. You were tasked to bring her in because she had information on a known terrorist and caught her off guard. The fight ended with both of your legs wrapped around one another's necks until you called truce.

You fell for her quickly, quicker than anyone you had ever fell for before. It hit you that you were falling for her the way waves break against a barrier of rocks. You came to the realization one late night that two of you had gone to a bar for drinks.

You sat across from her in the headquarters in London, staring at her in your own subtle way— in a way that you thought she didn't notice— but she soon caught on whenever she looked up and you would quickly look back down at your paperwork. For her, she fell for you more gradually. It was a gentle love for her that she received from you, it was like the cool afternoon breeze that rustled through the trees of the forest; it enveloped you and left you wanting more when it left. This pining between the two of you lasted for years, through her disavowal which was shortly followed by your resignation from the MI6 to do privately contracted work all the way to the day she confessed to you that she loved you when she showed up at your apartment front door.

You opened the door and she was greeted by your very disheveled appearance. "Hey," she croaked out and your eyes immediately brightened, any trace of fatigue disappearing from your eyes.

"Ilsa."

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," she said, smirking.

"You're one to talk," you said, pretending to be cross and resting your hands on your hips. But you can barely keep your facade up long. Your real emotions of fear quickly break through your expression. Your lip trembles and you pull her towards you. She drops her duffle bag onto the ground and lets you melt into her embrace. "You were supposed to call," you tell her, you voice muffled by her shoulder. She laces her fingers through your hair to hold you close.

"I'm sorry, darling," she tells you and hugs you tightly, "I'm here now, I'm okay. We got to the bomb in time."

"The bomb?" You said, wiping your nose on your sleeve while pulling away, "Why didn't you call me? I could've helped."

"We didn't have time," she sighed out, "I got here as fast as I could."

"Come on," you said pulling her in, "I'll make you a drink."

—

The night progresses rapidly and both you and Ilsa down multiple drinks as she tells you how the mission unfolded.

"I have something to tell you," Ilsa said.

"Hmm?"

She pressed the lip of her beer against her chin and leaned towards you. "I love you," she said. Your heart beats rapidly against your rib cage and you breathe in that intoxicating perfume scent of hers. Her grip on the slippery glass tightened for a few seconds while silence filled the air as you came to terms with what the woman before you confessed. "I love you too," you whispered out. She takes your beer out of your hand and places it on the coffee table along with hers. She kissed you then, threading her fingers through your thick hair, trying to bring your lips closer to hers.

"I've loved you all these years," she tells you.

"Let's not waste any more apart," you said, "Do you want this?" You bring your hand to the first button of her shirt to indicate what you meant.

"I have longed for this day since the day I met you," she tells you, "I want this— I want you."

She straddles your waist and your arms encircle around her, bringing her impossibly close to your body.

You bring her to your bed and you make sweet love to her that night, you're gentle as she is with you. She lets you worry over her injuries and press kisses to the bruises on her neck. She cums on your fingers then your tongue multiple times and you bury your head into her heat for as long as she lets you, she then returns the favor until you're shaking from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Mustering the remaining strength you had in your legs, you straddled her and brought both of your cores to each other, rubbing until she sobbed as she came and your thighs burned with exhaustion. You collapse next to her and bring her close to your chest. You kiss the top of her head and brush her hair with your fingers.

"Stay," you tell her, whispering it into the dark corners of the room, "I know you have to leave soon, but stay for the next two days— for me."

She closed her eyes tightly and let out a hesitant breath, "Only for you."

She kisses your chest, then your neck— sucking on your pulse point to mark you as hers. To be fair, you had done your fair share of marking up her body so now it was time she took her revenge. She kissed you long and slow, nibbling on your bottom lip until your lips became red like cherries. She takes your breath away every time she pulls away and you stare into her beautiful iridescent eyes. She slowly falls asleep in your arms and you spend the time counting the freckles on her eyelids before falling asleep as well. You held her close that night, not wanting to let go.

You woke up that morning blissful— if only that lasted for more than a minute. The bed was empty and so was the apartment. She had vacated and left not a single trace of her presence. That broke you. You collapsed to the floor, sobbing and clawing at your chest. Little did you know, this started a cycle for you and Ilsa. A cycle that always led her back into your arms in that tiny apartment in Paris. The next year, she waltzes in and out of your life whenever she pleases. It was as if she had forgotten that first night you had with her entirely. She would fuck you then leave the next morning and you were happy to give that to her if that meant you could have her for that little while.

You used to tell her about the dream you had for the both of you. The one that included laughter, coffee dates, the strolls you would take at the local park, the paintings the two of you would pick out to decorate your apartment, the patter of small feet that would fill the silence of the morning, and the infinite love that the two of you would share. She would lay there with her eyes closed, smiling happy. It was the only way this dream existed for her— in that small bed inside of the small Paris apartment you owned. The only place that dream lived was in yours and Ilsa's minds. You dreamt of a world where no one knew your names, a world where you could live anonymously, stroll down the streets hand-in-hand, free from the fear of someone harming you or Ilsa. She hides her tears when you describe this dream to her each time the two of you lay naked, sprawled together late at night. She let you dream for the two of you because that was the only way she could truly make you happy. You knew that she didn't want the same future you wanted but you endured.

Three months of taking the torture, you had finally confronted her. Not given the response that you deemed to be the truth, you sent her out of your apartment in fury, swearing that you never wanted to see her again.

"I thought what we had was real, Ilsa," you had told her, "You told me you loved me that first night in Paris when you got back from your mission with Ethan."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled.

The truth was that Ilsa was scared. She was scared what would happen if other people knew just how madly in love with you she was. She saw what happened to Ethan and how it affected him. She didn't want anything bad to happen to you so instead she kept you a secret and kept the relationship to a minimum because she saw it as the only way she could protect you. She would have you in the only way she could but she never knew how much she would hurt you in the process. You finally came to the realization of why she was treating you like such an ass one day the both of you had spent the night in Amsterdam.

"You're not Ethan," you told her in bed one night as you held her close, "And I'm not totally helpless. I know you love me, Ilsa. And I love you, more than you know. Despite everything you've done these past three months, I still love you even though I shouldn't."

"But I can't protect you."

"Baby, I can protect myself. You forget that I was a trained agent too. This is my life, I'm not going to let some future terrorist dictate who I should be able to love."

She left again that morning and that was the last you saw of her for the next three months.

—

Your head throbbed as you sat up. You quickly began taking in your surroundings and noticed that you were in a moving van. You clutched your head in pain.

"Hey, darling," a familiar voice said and your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach. Familiar hands grabbed yours but you shook them off.

"Where am I? What are you doing here? What happened?"

No one gives you an answer. It seems like the two men at the front are waiting for Ilsa to answer you but she doesn't. All she does is stare.

"Fine, I'm leaving then if you won't give me an answer."

You stand up and you're about to open the door when Ilsa grabs your free arm. That does it for you. You twist in her grasp and eventually pin her down in the van.

"Don't fucking touch me," you spat.

"Hey now, c'mon," Benji in the passenger seat finally said, "Just tell her, Ilsa."

"We knocked you out when you came out of your favorite cafe. Something bad is happening, I— we need you," she said and it comes out barely a whisper. Your expression changes.

You finally let her go and sit up. She sits up and coughs, rubbing her chest.

"Why? Why now?" You asked, looking deliberately at Ilsa, waiting for her to answer.

"We're going up against this new enemy and we could use your help," Benji answered instead, "Ilsa has told us about your skills and, well, we need someone like you."

"Thanks, but I'm not interested. She knows why."

You motion to stand up again and this time Ilsa speaks in a stronger voice.

"Y/N. Please," she pleaded. You look at her, which was the first mistake. You could never deny her anything. You would always say yes to her even if it cost you. Your jaw clenched in frustration.

"Fine. But if I do this, I don't want to talk to you or see you ever again. You got it?"

"I understand," she said even though it felt like her heart was being wrenched from her body.

"You've hurt me enough times," you told her.

The two men at the front of the car exchange looks.

—

You sat in the back of the van when Benji brings Ethan in. You had only met Ethan once before, he was nice. But you didn't tend to base how good a person was from first impressions.

"Y/N," he said when he noticed you.

"Ethan," you replied.

"Nice to see you."

You nodded. He looks back and sees Ilsa's deliberately avoidant gaze, looking anywhere but at you. He lets out a very small sigh and looks at Benji who gives him a grimace, shaking his head. He knew what happened between you and Ilsa, one of three people that knew. He knew how much the two of you loved one another and how stubborn Ilsa could be. You, on the other hand, from his singular encounter with you, he knew that you had a kind soul. Why else would Ilsa love you so? Even if she refused to admit it.

You hold up a paper clip and help free Ethan from his handcuffs. "Are you okay?" He asked.

You nodded your head, busying yourself with unlocking his handcuffs.

"I'm always fine," you told him once you freed him.

"So what's the plan?" You asked.

—

"What would potentially happen if a government got their hands on this AI tech?" You asked while sharpening your knife nervously.

"We don't know," Ethan said, "We need to find the other half of the key to find out."

Luther shows him the surveillance footage from the chase in the airport, "I took out the footage from your glasses and looked through everything. See anything strange?"

He notices a man glitching and replays the footage, "It's like he's a ghost."

"We can't find actual video of him except for right here," Luther stops at a frame of Grace, "He only exists in this reflection."

"The Entity," Ethan says, his voice dropping to a whisper, "It's protecting him."

"You saw him, didn't you?" Luther said.

"I did, but I wasn't sure."

"Well who is he?" Benji asked.

"Someone I thought died a long time ago," Ethan said, "In another life, before the IMF. Before I was offered the choice."

Ethan looks up at Luther, "In a very real sense, he made me into who I am today."

Luther grimaced.

"Does he have a name?" Luther asked.

"He calls himself Gabriel," Ilsa said, turning from the window. You look over at her and she meets your gaze before switching to Ethan's.

"You know him," Ethan said.

"There is no knowing him. He has no recorded past— the Entity made sure of that. He's a dark Messiah. The Entity's chosen messenger and he sees death as a gift he wants to share with the rest of the world."

"How do you know this?"

"I still have a few friends in MI6."

She looks back at you but you look away. "Friends who are afraid," she continued, "Of the British government gaining control of the Entity. Any attempt to try to stop them would be seen as an act of treason."

"And because you're disavowed," you said, "Friends called and asked you for help."

"They knew Gabriel served the Entity," she said, "They knew he was on his way to Istanbul to acquire one half of the key but I beat him to it."

"Do your friends know what this key leads to?"

"They believe it leads to its source code."

"Source code," Luther echoed.

"When were you going to tell me this?" Ethan asked.

"I'm telling you now," she said.

"Hold on, did you talk to them in person?" You asked, "Your friends. Did this happen over a phone call?"

"I'm disavowed so they had no way of contacting me in person."

Her expression changed when she realized what you were implying.

"He wanted you to find the key," you said, your voice coming to a whisper, "He wanted you to bring the key to Ethan. This was a trap."

"No, we can't be sure that was the Entity," she said.

"We can't be sure it wasn't," you replied.

"We can't believe anything outside of this very conversation," Ethan said, "None of you should be here."

—

You sat with Benji in the other room as he revised the firewalls on his laptop. You leaned back in your chair, having switched to a different knife to sharpen.

"Why did you guys choose me? Of all the people you could've called, why me?"

"Ilsa wanted you here. She wanted to see you and make sure you were safe."

"Bullshit. She doesn't care about me," you laughed.

He looks at you and your belief in your words falters.

"Why did she leave me then?"

"It's the only way she could think to protect you. Yes, I know how that contradicts the fact that you're here now but you're the best agent she knows and she thinks that maybe she can better protect you this way."

"That's stupid," you scoffed.

"Not everything is always a clear path in Ilsa's head."

You look away to where Ilsa is standing in the other room. Benji follows your gaze.

"She still loves you, despite everything she's done to make it look otherwise and I'm guessing you still love her too."

You give an imperceptible nod of your head.

"Go tell her before it's too late. With our line of work, we never know how much time we get with one another."

"You're very wise, you know," you said, "When you want to be."

"Thank you," Benji said, his face brightening.

You walk to the room in which Ilsa is standing in. You tilt your head to the door leading to the roof and she nodded. You went first. She follows a few minutes later.

You stood on the rooftop, gripping the railing tightly. You bent down and stretched your shoulders before resting on the railing with your forearms. She walks over and leans with her back against the sunset. She lets out a loud sigh.

"You're mad at me," she noted.

"Great observation," you said sarcastically.

"Y/N..."

"What? What do you want from me, Ilsa? I've given you everything I have. Every time you turned for me I was there and now you pull me into this mission. You couldn't even talk to me first? I would've said yes, you know. All you had to do was ask. I would always be there, despite everything."

She doesn't say anything so you look at her. Hot tears are rolling down her face. Your heart broke again even though you knew that it shouldn't.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Those nights in Paris then in Amsterdam."

Silence fills the air when she pauses. "I had a mission after Amsterdam and faked my death," she said quietly, "I wanted you to come with me but then I remembered everything I did— how I hurt you."

You turn around and lean against the railing, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I didn't realize that in my efforts to protect you, just how much I was hurting you in the process. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness but I want to give this a chance, a real chance this time."

You looked over at her, "I wanted to give this a chance too. I always have. But I don't want to get hurt again. I can't keep doing that to myself."

"I know. But what if I promised you that I would try? I want to be with you, whatever it takes," she said.

You think about it, was it really worth it to give her another chance? She was the love of your life, yes, but she had hurt you so many times, though not intentionally.

"Fine," you said, uncrossing your arms, "I'll give us a try. But I want complete honesty from here on out.

She nods, "I can do that."

So you let her back into your heart because your love for her outweighed the grudge you held against and it was the only thing you ever knew how to do.

She hugs you hesitantly and you move your arms to hold her closer. She smelled the same as the night in Amsterdam. You brushed your fingers through her desert colored highlights. She tucks her head under your chin, revelling in the comfort your embrace brought her.

"I promise that I won't hurt you," she said, "Not intentionally."

You kissed the crown of her hair and she looked up at you before meeting your lips. You let her deepen the kiss as you pull her even closer to you. She found a home in you that day. You held her closely by the waist, not wanting to let her go. A smile tugs at both your lips.

"You know, I've never been to Venice," she said.

"Really?" You said.

"Yeah, it's my first time here."

"Hmm, maybe I'll show you around after this mission's over. What do you think?"

"I think... it sounds like perfection."

She bit her bottom lip adorably before snuggling her head into your chest. You never wanted to let her slip away ever again. She feels your grip on her waist tighten as your mind drifts once more to the plan. She was going to meet Gabriel at the bridge and fake her death. The margin for error was so small, barely imperceptible to the human eye.

"What's wrong?" She asked, brushing her nose against your jaw.

"I don't like this plan," you confessed, "There's too many things that can go wrong. It's not safe."

"Darling, it's the only way we'll be free," she tried her best to make you see the brighter side of the plan.

"You could die, Ilsa. I can't have that happen."

"I'll be careful. He'll hit me here," she said, guiding your hand just clear of her heart, "I'll be sure of it. Besides, if things get out of hand, death will just have to withstand my will to stay alive."

"Ilsa, don't joke," you said, looking away. Your eyes sting with tears threatening to run away.

"I'm not joking- hey, look at me," she cups your jaw with one hand, "I'll come back to you, I promise." She rested her forehead against yours. "I'll be fine," she told you.

She follows you back down where everyone is changing into their attire for the party. Ilsa pulls you into her room and sits you down on a crate. She sits in between your legs. You give her a perplexed look.

"Could you braid my hair?" She asked quietly and your mouth breaks into a smile. "Of course."

You brush her hair gently to one side. She plays with her fingers while you comb through her hair, plaiting it expertly.

"I haven't had my hair braided since you left me," she confessed, "You've always been the person to do it for me."

You smile to yourself at the thought of this simple activity she saved just for you. You finish braiding her hair and place it over her shoulder. You kiss the side of your neck and she turns to capture your lips. She rises onto her knees and laces her fingers through your hair, pulling you to her. Her tongue slides against yours as you deepen the kiss. She moans into your mouth and you grip her waist tightly. You nibble on her bottom lip before she does the same to you.

Ethan walks in and the two of you break apart. A smile creeps onto his face. "Glad the two of you finally came to your senses," he said and a blush rises to both your cheeks, "Could I get a minute with Y/N?"

Ilsa nods and leaves the two of you alone but not before pressing a kiss to the back of your palm.

She walks back into the common area where Luther and Benji are working on their laptops.

"Nice hair," Luther commented.

"Why are your lips red?" Benji asked.

Her fingers rises to her lips instinctively and she blushes.

"Oh my god," Benji said and Luther smirks.

He stands up and points his finger while following her. She ducks and speed walks to the equipment. "You guys are back together aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Benji," trying her best to keep a poker face.

Benji smirks and crosses his arms across his chest, "I like seeing you happy. The two of you are good for each other, clearly."

Ilsa blushes again before ducking her head and rummaging through a duffle bag, "Thanks."

—

"I have a task for you," Ethan said, "While we're at the party, I want you to follow us from a distance. We have the advantage of Gabriel not knowing who you are. I need you to follow Ilsa and protect her. I won't be able to do that while I get Gabriel. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course, Ethan," you replied. He nods, "You'll be off comms so that there's no distractions. I just want you to follow Ilsa, don't worry about me. Alright?"

You nod.

"Take the weapons you need. I'll come find you when everything's done," Ethan said. He goes to stand up but you grab his arm, "Stick to the plan. Let her fake her death. I know it's going to seem real but don't worry, we've got this."

He blinks appreciatively at your reassurance. "Good luck," he said.

—

You were following Grace, Ilsa, and Ethan to the party. Watching them from a distance. Ethan had told Ilsa to run so you followed her to make sure that she would be alright. You finally caught up to her in a deserted alleyway. She swings at you with her fist before realizing who was following her. You duck and grab her arm.

"Y/N?" She said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ethan sent me, he told me to follow the three of you from a distance. He asked me to protect you." You moved in closer to her and inspected her face and she closed her eyes, taking in your concerned touch. "I'm alright," she told you.

"Good, you had me worried back there," you said. She opens her eyes and sees that you haven't moved from your spot. One of your hands moves from her face to her hip and pull her flush against you.

"I missed this," you whisper to her. She puts a hand against your abdomen. "What are you waiting for then?" She husked out. Her hand scrunches the front of your shirt and pulls you even closer to her body. You meet her lips, they were soft and they enveloped your own.

You pull away and rest your forehead against her. "We should probably go," Ilsa told you and you nodded, agreeing.

"I'll be right behind you," you said, "Do you have a weapon?"

She half unsheathes the sword she's holding and you smirk. "That's my girl," you said. You take one of the five knives on your body and tuck it into the back of the waistband of her pants, you hide the weapon with her shirt.

"I added a little something special," you told her.

She smiled and kissed you, "Let's go."

She takes off running and you run behind her. You hear faint sounds of combat and Ilsa comes to a quick stop, causing you to crash into her. She held a finger up to her lips. She motioned for you to stay here but you shook your head. She motioned for you to just wait and you reluctantly agreed.

She walks up to the bridge and you wait tensely behind the corner, glancing over to your girlfriend to make sure she was alright. She starts fighting Gabriel and she gets stabbed in the leg. She lets out a heart wrenching scream and you run over swiftly and quietly. You unsheathe the knife from behind your back and slash his thigh— his femoral artery. He yells in pain and clutches his leg; blood gushed past his fingers.

"Who the hell are you?" He grunted. "No one that you need to know." You flip your knife and help Ilsa stand up. "Go check on Grace. I'll handle him."

She limps over to Grace and checks her pulse. You momentarily let your guard down and Gabriel gets back up. "Y/N, look out!" She screamed. Gabriel punched you in the back of the head and knocked you out.

Ilsa's vision turned red with anger when she saw your body crumple to the ground. She picks up the sword again and advances toward Gabriel. Her swipes are sloppy and Gabriel can see it but nonetheless she gets a few slashes in. He takes advantage of her sloppiness and knocks her sword away easily. He slashes at her abdomen and it barely misses her. He cuts open her stomach and she lets out a gasp and clutched her stomach. He pins her against the side of the bridge. "This is what happens to whoever cares about Ethan Hunt," he hissed in her ear, "When I'm done with you I'll carve up your little partner. She'll look so pretty all slashed up."

"Don't ever fucking touch her," Ilsa gasped out in between breaths. Her hand inches to the knife you had tucked into her waistband.

"I kill you first and she won't have anyone to protect her," he cackled.

"She doesn't need me to protect her."

She pulls out her knife and stabs the side of his body. "If anything, she's been the one to protect me all along." He doubled over in pain.

He grunted angrily and stood back up, stabbing Ilsa in the chest, she moved slightly to the side as he did so. Her eyes opened in shock, letting out a shaky breath. She looks down at the knife then back at Gabriel.

Gabriel stumbles back and lets Ilsa slide to the floor. She closes her eyes to control her breathing. You finally open your eyes, your head is throbbing and you look around. You push yourself up with much difficulty and see Gabriel's retreating figure. "Hey, asshole," you yelled out, "You forgot to kill me."

"Your time will come," Gabriel said.

You stumbled to your feet and pulled a small dagger from your boot. As he turns his back, you throw the dagger at him. It lodged in his back and he fell over before crawling away.

You look around and see Ilsa and your heart drops to your stomach. You run over her and see the knife. Quickly taking her head into your lap, you check her pulse, letting out a temporary sigh of relief. However, that relief didn't stay for long, you had a performance to put on. You hunch over Ilsa's body and cry. Your shoulders shake as you discreetly take out her earpiece and crush it beneath your boot. You lower your lips to her ear.

"You did really good. I'm so proud of you," you whisper into her ear. From a distance, it just looks like your grieving over your lover's dead body.

You brush her hair soothingly, continuing to let the tears flow.

"I love you," you told her. Her eyes twitch so you press a kiss to each of her eyelids, over her freckles. You hold her head close to your body and she stays motionless.

You hear heavy sounds of footsteps from the distance and you know it's Ethan. Grace would be waking up any minute now.

"No!" Ethan yells when he sees Ilsa's limp body in your arms. He places his finger to her pulse and his eyes soften to sadness. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen," he said.

You sniffle and brush your tears, "She died protecting others. It's what she would've wanted."

Grace finally comes to and realizes what happened. She's in shock seeing Ilsa's "dead" body. "No, that wasn't supposed to happen. She's not supposed to be dead, she wasn't supposed to sacrifice herself," Grace starts hyperventilating, "Why did she do that? I didn't ask her to do that."

You lovingly brush at Ilsa's chestnut hair. "Ilsa was doing what she loved," you tell her without looking at her. You look at Ethan and place a hand on his knee, "Go talk to her."

You continue talking to her despite the fact that you look mad doing it. "You did good, my love. You did so good. I hope you can finally have some peace." You press a kiss to her warm lips before pressing your forehead against her.

Benji quickly but surely arrives only a couple of seconds later. He takes in Grace's hysterical expression and Ethan comforting her before his gaze landed on you. Your back faced him but he could see the tip of Ilsa's head. He hops out of the boat and rushed over to you.

"No, it can't be true. Ilsa..."

He takes in her pale complexion and the lack of movement from her chest. You look up with your tear-stricken eyes and a string of silent communication travels from your eyes to his. It was done.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. This wasn't how it was to go down."

You nodded sadly, "I know."

You sniff harshly and brush your tears away roughly. "Please can we just take her home," you clear your throat, "I don't want us to be all exposed here and she deserves a proper burial."

Benji nods, understanding, "Do you need me to help?"

You shake your head and lift her easily into your arms. You take her back onto the boat to the underside, safe from the eyes of the Entity where she finally opens her eyes. You burst into tears then, for real this time. She brushes them away, shushing you.

"I love you too," she whispered to you, "I'm okay. Didn't I tell you everything would be fine?"

You nod, still trying to recover from the events of the bridge.

"If you could give me a hand though," she said pointedly, looking at the knife.

"Oh yes, of course."

"It's a cute knife but it would be better out of my body," she muttered.

You chuckle before indicating to her shirt then your knife, she nods. You slice open her shirt to get better access to the wound. "If you wanted take me to bed you could've just asked," she teased and you rolled your eyes.

You open your duffle bag to take out your medical supplies. You spray antiseptic over her wound and she hisses. "Sorry."

She shook her head, "It's fine. Do whatever you need to."

You get a firm grip on the knife and give it a big tug. It comes out quickly and leaves Ilsa groaning in pain. You toss the knife across the boat and rip open a packet of gauze and cover her wound. "Here, apply pressure. I'll stitch you up."

You take out your suturing kit and help her lay down in the cramped cabin of the boat.

"I only have numbing spray," you tell her and she nods, "Okay, it might sting a little."

She nods again. You remove the gauze and throw 3 tight but delicate sutures on her shoulder before wrapping her chest with bandages.

"Now let's look at that stomach of yours," you said before moving to her abdomen. It had a wider slash but the cut wasn't as deep as the one of her chest. You stitch it up nonetheless then wrap it. You move to her leg and she very gracefully takes off her pants to reveal the wound. It was a small slice, 2 inches wide. You stitch her up and bandage her.

Benji stomps on the floor of the boat to indicate your arrival. You look back at Ilsa. "Ready to hide again?" You asked and she nods. You drape a sheet over her body before lifting her into your arms and carrying her to the safe house. Luther gives your arm a squeeze when he sees you and you blink appreciatively before going to the room you had claimed and laying her on the bed. You remove the sheet and she looks back at you.

"Get some rest," you told her.

—

She was still bleeding heavily despite the stitches you gave her but you were on your own. The rest of the team had left to deal with the mission while you stayed behind and cared for Ilsa. You cleaned her bandages each night and replenished her with nutrients. You bought medical supplies and stole some from a local hospital and brought them back to her. She gets a fever on the second day and falls unconscious, shuddering ever so slightly in her sleep.

You took in her pale appearance in the bed. She sunk into the bed and her freckles looked dull. They never looked like that. You prayed for her to wake up so that the color would return to them. She looked so weak, her skin as pale as moonlight. She looked too frail. Too unlike the Ilsa you knew. You knew she had to get better soon, she had too. You wrung put a wet cloth and wiped her burning forehead. She starting to show early signs of infection so you fed her antibiotics and stayed by her side every night, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest.

Her fever finally broke on the fourth day. She wakes up and say your hunched over position by the side of her bed. She smiled gratefully at her guardian angel and combed through your hair. You sat up quickly at the feeling.

"You're alive," she croaked, her throat raspy from disuse.

"You're awake. God, I thought we would never make it out of that," you tell her.

"Oh baby," she said, a hand coming up to your face, brushing your cheek, "I'm okay. I'm alive. See?"

She brings your fingers to her wrist and you felt her soothing heart beat. You laid your head against her wrist. "Come, lay with me."

She slowly scoots over and you slide onto the bed with her and take her into your arms. "Don't move too much," you told her, "You'll tear your stitches."

"Thank you for being here," she said.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. Just get some sleep, darling. I'll be here when you wake up," you told her, smoothing her hair. "Thank you for coming back to me," you whispered into her hairline and she closed her eyes with a smile on her face. You kiss her freckles repeatedly until she falls asleep.

—

When she finally heals, that's when the two of you say your goodbyes. Ethan, Benji, and Luther were the only ones there.

"But if you need me, I'll only be a call away," she told him and slipped a flip phone into his front pocket, "Only use it for emergencies. As far as the world knows, I'm dead." She gives him a tight hug. "And what about you?" Ethan asked, "What happens in your story?"

You shrug, "The love of my life dies and I decide to move to the quiet countryside of France and teach English." Ethan smiles, nodding his head, "That suits you." He gives you a hug as well.

"Treat her well," he told you and you nodded.

"If you're ever in France and need somewhere to stay..." you trailed off.

"I look forward to taking you up on your offer," he said.

"You ready?" You asked Ilsa and she nodded. She picked up her duffle bag and gave her last farewells to Luther and Benji.

"Come visit, okay?" She tells the both of them and they nod.

"Take care, Ilsa," Benji said while hugging her.

You approach Ethan one more time and take your favorite knife out from behind your back. It had an ivory white handle, a Persian tip, and a beautifully intricate wave pattern over the blade.

"This is for Grace. Tell her it's my gift to her for joining the IMF and taking Ilsa's place. We finally gets our happy ending now and it's all thanks to her."

Ethan nods, "I will."

"If any of you ever need us, I'll be there. You're Ilsa's family— mine by extension, we will show up, no matter what."

Ilsa laces her fingers with yours and nods. She gives you a kiss.

"Bye," you said. You and Ilsa exit to the boat that Ethan bought and placed under his name. The plan was to sail to France. It was a short ride and Ethan had packed everything you could possibly need into the boat.

"Go hide," you tell Ilsa and she nodded, "I'll let you know when we reach open waters."

—

You and Ilsa move into a chateau in the countryside, 30 minutes away from the beach. A place where the two of you could start fresh and build your family. There was a quiet town about a 10 minute bike ride, no surveillance cameras, just the eyes of locals who admired the love you and Ilsa had for each other. You and Ilsa went there on the weekends for grocery shopping before wandering around, trying the new patisserie shop around the corner, letting Ilsa feed you bits of croissant. The town made you and Ilsa feel young again, you would go out dancing like you were in your 20s, giggle in the back corners of the bookstore as you kissed one another and picked books for each other, let each other try their ice cream before agreeing which one was better. This quiet life, the one you and Ilsa always dreamed of was finally happening.

The two of you lounged on the couch together, reading. It was raining outside and the fire was crackling. She laid against your chest and you had an arm flung over her shoulder. She looks at your hand, the ring she gave you and smiles contentedly. She fiddles with the ring on your ring finger before smiling back up at you.

"Hey," you said, noticing her staring.

She moved your glasses from your face to the top of your head before cupping your face to kiss you.

"I'm happy we did this," she tells you.

"Me too."

She plays with your fingers while waiting, hesitantly, for the right moment to ask you a question that could change your lives.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" You asked, noticing her shift of mood.

She sits up and turns around, sitting on the backs of her heels, so she can talk to you face-to-face. "Would you ever want kids?" She swallowed harshly, waiting for your answer.

Your lips eventually break into a smile and nod, "If it's with you, then yes."

You put down your book and take her hands into your own before pulling her to rest on your chest. You stroked her back and played with the ends of her hair.

"Is that what was worrying you so much?"

She nods against your chest.

"I've been dreaming about having kids with you for forever, Ilsa. Of course I want them. I can't wait to see a mini you running around the house."

"I could settle for a mini you too," she tells you.

She smiled against your skin, her chest warming at the idea.

She lifts her head and kisses along your jaw. She nestled into the crook of your neck, breathing in your perfume. She felt a sense of fulfillment resting here in your arms. A fulfillment that she never got from joining Ethan's team. You offered her a life filled with love and safety and she wishes she had seen that earlier instead of running away. But there was no point in dwelling on the past now. You held her in your arms and she was going to cherish every single moment she could spend with you.

#ilsa faust x reader #ilsa faust #ethan hunt #rebecca ferguson x reader #rebecca ferguson #benji dunn #grace #luther stickell #mission impossible #fix-it fic #fluff #i hate tags

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: Asra and Faust's Birthday

~ it's June 13, so here's how MC might celebrate Asra and Faust's birthday with them. Enjoy! - brainrot ~

You let them sleep in until they're ready to get up

You, on the other hand, sneak out early to collect supplies. For what, some might ask? Well, he's not the only one good at keeping secrets ~

Faust is happy to accompany you while her master snoozes, especially as you promised her unlimited chin scritches and she is determined to get as much out of that as she can

You want them to enjoy a slow morning, so you leave any plans for the afternoon and work on breakfast while the golden morning sun lights up the kitchen

Faust keeps watch so you can focus, and you know Asra's opening his eyes when you hear her excited little voice shouting Awake! Awake! into your mind

This is your cue to climb back in bed to snuggle with them. Breakfast can wait ...

When he is ready to get up, you'll be able to bring him breakfast. One of your errands involved swinging by Selasi's stall, and the lovely baker has given you samples of all his test recipes because he knows how much Asra adores new and unusual things

Selasi also helped you fashion a mini paper party hat for Faust

Now the three of you are piled on the overstuffed, rumpled bed, eating and giggling and watching Faust pose with her hat

You also have to keep coming up with excuses for why Asra isn't allowed to look around certain parts of the shop - pieces of your surprise are stashed in several different corners

"MC -" they're giggling at the edge of the bed, only pretending to struggle against where you have your hands pressed over their eyes to keep them from getting up or peeking. "Tell me what it is!"

Never tell! Faust is wriggling along his shoulders in her own intimidation game, trying her best not to be dislodged by Asra's happy laughter. Friend surprise!

"A surprise, hm?" They get suspiciously still. "How about this?" And the cushion they swing at you is the start of a pillow fight that turns the whole bedroom into a mess

You're trying to figure out how to keep things hidden while cleaning up at the same time when you hear a knock at the door

Right on cue, Aisha and Salim are standing in your shop with beaming smiles on their faces. You bundle Asra out the door to spend lunch with them and spend the next hour or so tidying and closing up

The next stage of your surprise begins when Muriel arrives at your doorstep to help you carry several things up to the palace. Most of what you bring gets whisked away to the gardens under Nadia's watchful eye, and Portia takes the last few bundles with a wink

You stick around for a few hours, helping to set up the majority of the more magical items and finalizing the evening plans. As it nears tea time, you collect a new bundle from Nadia and set off for Aisha and Salim's house

So far things seem to be progressing even more smoothly than you expected. Asra opens the door for you, confused because their parents told them to wait here for you while they went to "run some errands"

"MC?" He eyes the bundle under your arm curiously, a bemused smile on his face. "Is it time for the next part of your mysterious plan?"

"Not yet." You drag them to the couch and pull them down next to you. "Now we take a nap."

He's not arguing with that. You doze with him, knowing that the coming night is going to be longer than he can guess. You shake him gently awake as the sun begins to set, brewing him a quick cup of tea before you hand him the first bundle

"I can open this now?" They smile teasingly and purposefully fumble with the wrappings

Inside is a lovely new set of clothes, Nadia's gift. They're styled and tailored perfectly enough to be suitable for any party, and yet as durable and practical as the best traveling gear

It's twilight when you walk across the palace bridge hand in hand. You can hear and smell the festivities wafting from the palace gardens, and even better is the thrill of curiosity and excitement in Asra's fingertips when he squeezes your hand

They're prepared to be dazzled by whatever delights you and Nadia have clearly conspired to create, but they don't expect the number of people present when the two of you enter the grounds

All of them people he knows, all of them people he's friends with, but so many he assumed he didn't mean anything to. He was expecting to see under ten people, but this number is easily over thirty

They can't remember a time when they were considered a part of a community. For as long as they can remember, they've been a wanderer who found home with the two people they felt most connected to, with no permanent place or support system

This is different. Seeing all these recognizable Vesuvian faces in one place is the proof that there is a community around him, and that this community has a spot for them in it

The evening is magical. There's all kinds of food laid out with puzzles to solve to unlock different dishes, there's floating magical bubbles which play out different comical scenes in whorls of colorful light when they're popped, and there's a game of riddles that lead him on the silliest scavenger hunt Vesuvia's ever seen

Eventually it becomes late enough that even the night owls are beginning to get tired. Muriel disappears briefly and returns with two traveling packs, which he trades with you wordlessly for the shop key

Asra watches in delighted confusion. "MC, there's more? Where are you taking me?"

"Where do you think?" You bid everyone your goodbyes together, Aisha and Salim adding their own mysterious "see you soon"s, and then you're taking their hand and walking through the silvery moonlit fields to meet with a familiar beast

A very sleepy Faust curls herself up under Asra's shirt as the two of you take off. His head turns so he can speak in your ear over the rush of the wind

"We're going to Nopal?"

"Nopal first," you murmur back, "and Zadith after. Your parents say they want to show us where they learned alchemy - and where you got your name from. We'll meet them on the coast in a few day's time."

You won't always be able to plan elaborate garden parties or a month away from the shop for Asra's birthday. But for the dimples that keep appearing and the contented love and joy in their eyes? You'll do it as often as you can

#the arcana #asra the arcana #asra alnazar #happy birthday asra alnazar #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #the arcana fluff #asra the magician #asra alnazar x reader #asra x apprentice #ask arcana brainrot #the arcana fanfic

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 21

Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

Oystein had stopped putting in orders for a few weeks. He figured after what Y/n went through seeing the photo of Pelle, it would be best to give her a bit of a break. If he got a craving, he didn't mind just stepping in and grabbing it. The few times he went in though, he hadn't seen Y/n in the back or even sitting in the office. When he resumes putting in his orders, some guy ends up dropping his order off.

"Did Y/n finally decide to stop bringing you lunch?" Faust asked confused.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I haven't seen her in a few weeks. He tried again the next day and it was still another person and not Y/n. Eventually he walked into the shop and saw Hammeed standing at the register.

"Your regular Mr. Oystein?" He asked and he gave a nod.

"Hey did Y/n quit?" Oystein could see a saddened look on Hammeed's face.

"Oh no, she asked for some time off. She works very hard. She wasn't doing well. I do apologize she hasn't been able to deliver your orders. Has there been a problem with the deliveries?" He asked

"No no they've been great. Don't worry about it. I was just curious." Oystein took his food back to the store and locked himself in his office. He debating on doing another drive by but after her neighbor had spotted him last time, he didn't want to make it worse.

Instead, he called the grocery store she also worked at.

"Hi I was looking to place an order but wanted to know if Y/n was available to deliver it? She delivers for my parents usually." Oystein asked sitting back in his chair.

"Oh Y/n is on bereavement leave for another week. We can try and find someone else to make a delivery but you might have to just pick up your order." The woman on the line explained.

Oystein hung up the phone and chewed on his lip. Bereavement leave might someone had died. The only person he knew was sick was her mom but she was mentally sick, not on the verge of death sick. He sat for hours trying to decide what to do. He finally searched for a phone book and was able to find the number that matched the address he had written on a small ripped piece of paper he kept in his wallet. He dialed the number and waited nervously for someone to answer.

"Hello?" It was a woman but not Y/n.

"Um...hi I was calling for Y/n...to offer my condolences." Oystein sat up hoping this wouldn't backfire on him.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetheart but she's sitting in Shiva right now. Would you like me to take a message?" The woman asked quietly.

"I um...I'm a friend and I was just worried about her. I heard she was on bereavement leave and I got worried...how is she doing?" Oystein asked cautiously.

"Honestly she's not doing well. She really thought her little brother was getting better. She had spent a lot of time with him working through his issues but his soul was just too broken to bare another day here. It didn't help that she found his body." Oystein closed his eyes tightly hearing what the woman was saying. Y/n's little brother must have killed himself. He wasn't expecting that at all. He remembers her mentioning her brother had issues like Pelle but he never considered that he was so closely related.

"Shiva is over in another few days and she said she would be going back to work soon. Do you work with her?" The woman asked and Oystein swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No I'm just a friend. Can you tell her that Oystein is here if she needs anything, anything at all." He said tearing the photo of Pelle off the wall.

"I will let her know Oystein. Thank you for calling and the condolences." The woman hung up the phone and Oystein took his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose. This is not what he was expecting. Everything felt so upside down. He should have known why Y/n was so hurt by his actions when it came to Pelle's death. He came off as a heartless and callous and she was desperately trying to keep her brother here. He felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

He picked up the phone and dialed his home number. He waited to hear his mother's voice.

"Mom, I need your help. Y/n's brother died and I need to know what to send for condolences." Oystein stayed on the phone with his mother for over an hour in search of food delivery, flower delivery and any sort of funeral plans that his family could send an arrangement to. He asked his mom about what Shiva was and she explained that is a period of mourning after the funeral for the family to heal. She explained it was a very personal time for the family's healing journey and that it would be best for him to stay clear of her for now.

He also talked to her about Pelle and how things have happened between the two of them and while she wasn't thrilled to hear how he exploited the death of his friend, she explained to him that she knows how painful it was for him to lose Pelle. Oystein cried on the phone with his mother for the first time since he was a child.

He knew he had to get his shit together for his own sake. He needed to get back to the roots of what brought him to where he was today and stop letting stupid shit overshadow it all.

#R!Euronymous #R!Euronymous x Y/n #Film: Lords of Chaos #Alkaline #Alkaline series #One Shot Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult #21/35

[incorrectyuuriboys]

Auron, giving driving lessons: Now Faust, are you familiar with the gearshift?

Faust: You mean the PRNDL?

Auron: ... I'm sorry, what?

Faust, rolling eyes: The PRNDL.

Auron: You mean the the gear shift that's labeled P, R, N, D, L?

Faust: I'm not stupid. I know how to spell PRNDL.

Auron: (sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, then speaks softly) It stands for "park, reverse, neutral, drive, and low.

Faust, indignantly: I don't get all of this technical talk. Why can't you just teach me to drive?!

Auron, about to lose his shit: STRESSED, are we? Maybe we should just RELAX. We'll turn on the RADIO! Would you like AAAAAAM or FMMMMMM?!

#submission #from suite life #incorrect quotes #yuurivoice #incorrect yuuriboys #yvboys #asmr #faust #auron #auron getting real tired of faust

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE - DEAD RECKONING PART ONE REVIEW ROUND UP

Attention: The review roundup might contain spoilers for the film

Other than Hunt himself, trying to secure the key to The Entity are a number of returning figures: Simon Pegg’s affably frantic Benji, Ving Rhames’ cool Luther and Rebecca Ferguson’s classically enigmatic Ilsa Faust, perhaps the best thing that happened to the franchise since Cruise. (https://www.thewrap.com/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review/)

Dead Reckoning brings back Rebecca Ferguson’s silky-steely Ilsa Faust, of the most engaging characters from the franchise’s last two entries, Fallout (2018) and Rogue Nation (2015)...a gorgeously staged duel between Faust and Gabriel, set on a slender Venetian bridge: Faust wears a silky topcoat whose tails whirl about her as her sword slashes through the air, intensifying the already intense aura of Venetian mystery and drama. (https://time.com/6291965/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review-tom-cruise/)

Last but definitely not least, Ilsa Faust returns for another unpredictable mission, played by the always enchanting Rebecca Ferguson, who continues to command every scene that she is in with her passionate and gritty performance. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffconway/2023/07/05/mission-impossibledead-reckoning-part-one-is-the-thrill-ride-of-the-summer/?sh=7d5eeb2a18ce )

It's Rebecca Ferguson as the returning Ilsa Faust who provides the film with its soul. While they may be busy saving the world, Hunt and Faust get a couple of brief moments that demonstrate how much they mean to each other, and it's the most romantic thing I've seen in a Hollywood action blockbuster since The Empire Strikes Back (I could mention the influence of another spy movie but that would be a spoiler). The film might be packed with bombastic action but it never loses sight of its human relationships. Some of the most memorable moments are simple gestures, including a smile from Faust to Hunt that will melt your heart. (http://www.themoviewaffler.com/2023/07/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review.html)

Thanks to Hunt’s longtime cohort Ilsa Faust (god bless you,Rebecca Ferguson...(https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-reviews/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-1-review-tom-cruise-1234779044/)

...it gives its veterans requisite time in the spotlight (with Ferguson remaining these films’ charismatic secret weapon) (https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-review-tom-cruise-is-better-than-ever)

...the occasional helping hand from the ever-elusive Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson, magnetic but alarmingly underused)...(https://www.inverse.com/entertainment/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review)

The biggest sin of Dead Reckoning, however, is how it wastes two of its best talents with Fallout MVP Vanessa Kirby, reprising her role as The White Widow, and franchise mainstay Rebecca Ferguson, reprising her role as Ilsa Faust. Don’t get me wrong, both actresses are nothing short of spectacular in their returns to the role...Ferguson, who has arguably been the best character in the franchise since her introduction in Rogue Nation is criminally underseen throughout the movie. And what we do get of her results in significant baffling decisions that are made about her character, that will ultimately get fans of the franchise very upset (and we’ve never seen them very upset!) (https://thenerdsofcolor.org/2023/07/05/noc-review-mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-pt-1-is-a-non-stop-thrill-ride/)

Whereas Haley Atwell takes center stage in Dead Reckoning Part One, Rebecca Ferguson’s Isla Faust unfortunately takes a back seat. The Dune and Silo star is fantastic as usual, yet when almost everyone else has so much to do in this script, it’s disappointing to see her receive the short end of the stick. This is a rather bizarre decision on Christopher McQuarrie’s behalf since he was the one who made a star out of the character in Rogue Nation and Fallout. You also can’t help but feel like Dead Reckoning Part One falls into some old action genre tropes by shoving one female character to the side in order to let another one thrive – as if this movie couldn’t allow Atwell and Ferguson to shine together. Maybe Ferguson’s shooting schedule is now too packed to even include Mission: Impossible? Regardless, it’s the most damning aspect of this sequel.(https://discussingfilm.net/2023/07/05/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review-tom-cruise-reaches-new-levels-of-absurdity/)

For all that the film primarily functions as a bone-jangling espionage thriller, it’s the fuse-fizzing chemistry between Cruise and Rebecca Ferguson, returning for her third stint as MI6 spook Ilsa Faust, as well as Cruise and Hayley Atwell, making her first appearance in the series as Grace, a world-class pickpocket and rent-a-thief, that makes everything click. Whenever it shifts focus away from the winning Atwell-Cruise-Ferguson trifecta, the film really suffers. (https://lwlies.com/reviews/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one/)

Dialogue-free vignettes between Cruise and Ferguson, whether they’re sharing a platonic hug on a rooftop or holding hands on a gondola in Venice, are tender stolen moments.(https://freshfiction.tv/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review-another-action-master-class/)

There are still plenty of bullets fired, but there’s also a moonlit sword fight between Gabriel and Rebecca Ferguson’s ice-cold (and oh so cool) Ilsa Faust atop the Ponte Minich, a luminous bridge in the Sestiere Castello.  (https://www.indiewire.com/criticism/movies/mission-impossible-dead-reckoning-part-one-review-1234881243/)

#rebecca ferguson #mission impossible #mission impossible dead reckoning part one #mission impossible 7 #ilsa faust #mi7 spoilers #tom cruise #hayley atwell #vanessa kirby #christopher mcquarrie

[arcanemoody]

Listening to two season 5 era Nygmobblepot playlists I put together that, while very catchy and grounded in a love story I hold dear, are far from joyful. Particularly Ed's which is post-5x11, where he knows he has BIG feelings, but feels clotheslined by his actions in season 3. "That" is not something he can ask for from Oswald, so he's settling for staying in his orbit and keeping the knives out of his back.

i'm getting sentimental over you (tommy dorsey and his orchestra)

you don't know what love is (chet baker)

rehab (amy winehouse)

april fools (rufus wainwright)

don't say nothing bad about my baby (the cookies)

(what can i say) after i say i'm sorry (dinah shore)

telephone (electric light orchestra)

to love somebody (janis joplin)

am i blue (billie holiday)

last dance (donna summer)

they didn't believe me (dinah shore)

i'll call you mine (the zombies)

everything happens to me (chet baker)

i'm not okay (i promise) (robyn adele anderson)

just a gigolo (louis prima)

show me the way to go home (irving king) 

keep yourself alive (queen)

the way you say goodnight (magnetic fields)

[x]

And Oswald’s bridges the end of season 4, when he finds Ed’s dead body and goes through the standard Penguin ‘stages of grief’ in early season 5: try to stop feeling and make the world eat shit. All of which lands him squarely in the middle of the Haven crisis and, shortly after, Pena Dura: staggered by senseless death and how much Ed still doesn’t understand. 

suffragette city (david bowie)

gatsu (guts' theme) (scooby)

glory and gore (lorde)

last nite (the strokes)

new town (the vitamins)

habanera from carmen (georges bizet)

real men (joe jackson)

house without windows (roy orbison)

stay with me (lorraine ellison)

faust (paul williams)

nightclubbing (david bowie)

have mercy on the criminal (elton john)

the way i do (bishop briggs)

stop the world and let me off (patsy cline)

don't look back in anger (scott bradlee's postmodern jukebox feat. maiya sykes)

sally go round the roses (the jaynettes)

i would die 4 u (prince)

prince charming (adam ant)

[x]

Because. As much as I love a renewed accord awakening new passion... I need them both to do a melancholy conga line of raw suffering until someone forces them to talk it out at knifepoint.  

#fandom playlist #nygmobblepot #gotham #this is a little self-indulgent #but i've had a hard day #and i don't care

[shewholovestoread]

Mission Impossible 7: Dead Reckoning Impressions

I’ve been a fan of the Mission Impossible franchise, especially fourth film onwards. This is not a review per se, it’s more a list of what was okay in the film, what was great and what was downright awful. So let’s get into it.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

THE MEH:

- The villain - on the surface, having an AI entity called The Entity sounds like a good idea. Especially given the current climate, the discourse surrounding AI and the way it’s being used. The problem is that, it lacks the human component that makes a villain engaging. One of the most fascinating aspects of a villain done right is their motivation and their drive. Aspects that perhaps the audience can relate to. All of that is missing with a digital villain.

- Gabriel - Again, the fact that he’s following orders from an AI just seems dumb and takes away from his being an engaging villain in his own right. Yes, he’s menacing and clearly dangerous but all of that is undercut because he’s not the big bad, a machine is. His history with Ethan is rife with untapped potential and I hope that the eighth film digs deeper into that.

- Alana Mitsopolis - So much potential and she does next to nothing in the film.

Also, this was mind-boggling, when Grace is pretending to be Alana, her eye colour is so obviously different from the real Alana that I’m kinda shocked that the brother didn’t pick that up. It was so glaring that it immediately took me out of the film. It made no sense.

THE GOOD:

- Paris - Pom Klementieff stole the show. She was so good and I’m so excited to see her in the next installment. Also, the scene of her chasing Ethan and Grace in the huge-ass military truck... pure chef’s kiss. You know that scene in the animated 101 Dalmations when Cruella is driving her car like a lunatic, Paris had that energy down pat.

- Grace - I liked her character though there are some problems that I’ll get to later. But well written and another character who doesn’t immediately fall head over heels in love with Ethan. I liked that she was smart and didn’t trust people just because they asked her to. She had reason to be wary and I appreciated that.

- The stunts - This is a given. The stunts get bigger and more outrageous with every progressing Mission Impossible film and this one was no different. The bike-jumping-off-the-cliff is the one that they’ve pushed the most in their marketing, but there’s one more near the end that’s probably way more stressful.

THE BAD:

- The stunts - The stunts in the film overpowered the plot. There is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing’ and the stunts in this film definitely fall into that category. There was something new happening every few scenes and some of the stunts scenes also just went on for a little too long.

- The Death of Ilsa Faust - This one just drove me mad with rage. She is canonically as good as Ethan, his equal in every way and was set-up as a foil to him, often a little more ruthless than him and willing to make tough decisions even if that meant going against Ethan and his team, people she clearly cares about.

It’s not just that she died, but the way she died. She gets stabbed by Gabriel and actually died alone, by the time Ethan finds her, she’s already gone. She died alone on a fucking bridge and that’s just a damn shame.

To add insult to injury, the way they’ve set-up Grace as an immediate replacement for Ilsa, to the extent that in the very next scene, she’s part of the team as if she had always been there. It’s like the film is telling you that female characters are of little consequence and replaceable. This was also so damn blatant that yet again, it pulled me out of the film. I couldn’t believe that it was handled in such ham-handed way. It also made me dislike Grace on principle.

Her death also stings because Benji and Luther were right there and they’ve been there since the third (fourth?) film and are still alive and kicking. If we were meant to have a meaningful loss for Ethan, why couldn’t it either of the 2 dudes? Also, it is possible to have more than 1 woman on the team. There’s no rule that states that the addition of the new female character must be facilitated by the death of the previous woman on the team. There are SOOOO many films guilty of this (looking at you Pacific Rim 2, which killed off Mako Mori and then replaced her with Liwen Shao)

THE THING THAT GIVES ME PAUSE:

The only thing that gives me pause is the way Ilsa’s death was handled. It’s so badly done that it almost feels like a different film. My theory is that Ilsa is actually alive and will return in the next film. The whole thing was badly handled on purpose.

Now hear me out, early on in the film, Ethan and Ilsa fake her death to get the American intelligence agencies off her back. From the way it’s shot, it’s immediately apparent that she’s not dead. And they reveal very quickly that she’s still alive.

When she reunites with the team, the whole lot of them get into an argument about acceptable losses and that the mission is more important than any member of the team (very subtle-R-us) and then to no one’s surprise, it is Ilsa who goes and talks to Ethan and they have a very awkward hug. Ilsa and Ethan’s romance, thus far, was played with great subtlety. they’re not very touchy-feely with each other. They show their love in how far they’re willing to go for each other. It’s the sexual tension that is the real draw for these two. It’s a strange kind of intimacy which is very different from all of his previous romantic partners.

So we got that awkward scene and by then it is glaringly obvious who’s gonna die. Ilsa has a sword fight with Gabriel, she gets stabbed and then dies. But here’s the thing, every thing I said earlier about how it was handled just doesn’t feel right. McQuarrie is a better writer and director and I expect him do better because he has consistently done better in the last two films.

We are constantly told that The Entity can already see ALL of the possible approaches that Ethan can think of. It can see 10 steps ahead of everyone on the team. So how do you beat a machine that has already seen all of your upcoming moves and put in counter-attacks? You do something it can’t predict. If both Gabriel, Grace and pretty much everyone concerned thinks Ilsa is dead, it gives her the perfect opportunity to blindside The Entity. She’s the piece of the puzzle that The Entity can’t see coming.

Repetition: Gabriel already killed Ethan’s past love interest, it is so damn lazy of the filmmakers to make him kill the current love interest (although Ilsa is so much more than a mere love interest) Not to mention, Gabriel stabs Paris in almost the exact same place as he did Ilsa and she managed to live and even saved Ethan and Grace’s lives.

If however, this is the end of the road for Ilsa Faust, it was a damn shame for such an amazing character to get such an anti-climactic end. It was a disappointing end for a character that had very quickly become one of the best parts of the series.

#mission impossible #mission impossible dead reckoning #mission impossible dead reckoning spoilers #mission impossible 7 spoilers #mission impossible 7 #ethan hunt #ilsa faust #tom cruise #rebecca ferguson #pom klementieff #hayley atwell #vanessa kirby #benji dunn #luther stickell #simon pegg #ving rhames #esai morales

[dribs-and-drabbles]

My top ten of Pat's shirts (revised)

10. Cheney/Kennedy - ep 1

This shirt is fabulous on two levels - one being how ridiculous it is and the other being the subtle foreshadowing of Pat getting shot later in the series, and not actually drowning which we were afraid the conversation on the beach in ep 6 might have been suggesting. It's both loud and subtle but that's what makes it so great.

- - -

9. Elephants - ep 11

The beauty of this shirt is that it's so simple. 'An elephant never forgets'. A lot of episode 11 is about Pat and Pran running away from their lives -> forgetting about their families, the lies they discovered, and the fear for their relationship once they go back. Pat also slowly realises that Pran is, and will always be, unable to forget his parents despite Pran being there for Pat and allowing Pat this moment of fantasy. They also both spend much of the time at the beach not talking about any of this, avoiding the subject - i.e. the 'elephant in the room' - instead distracting themselves with other things.

A bonus with this shirt is that whilst Pat is wearing it, Junior has a t-shirt which connects back to the next shirt in this list, 'California'.

- - -

8. California - ep 10

Another seemingly ridiculous shirt actually has a deeper interpretation. The slogan on the shirt is for a German drug store (we later see Pat and Pran get caught by Pat's parents in a supermarket) and refers to a famous quote from a monologue Faust makes on a walk about the beauty of nature and how he can only truly be himself there, where no one is around. This could be foreshadowing ep 11 where Pat and Pran run away to the beach, to nature, to somewhere where they can truly be themselves and where no one else around knows them. Some people have wondered why “California” was used instead of the name of the store, “DM”, well maybe it's because it connects to Junior’s “Malibu Beach California” t-shirt worn at the beach in ep 11.

- - -

7. Your man? - ep 7

This one is wonderful for how blatant it is. Not only is Pat wearing his own blue underneath Pran's rich burgundy red - in a direct reversal and development of the Picasso-esque t-shirt (at no. 5 in this list) with a splodge of red over the heart, which Pat wore under a blue shirt when he realised his feelings for Pran in ep 5 - but the only two words visible on the shirt are "YOUR MAN?" Pat wears this when he uses his audition to confess to Pran, thus losing the bet. He says to Pran - as Riam - "You asked if I wanted to be friends? What if my answer is no?" Essentially, he's asking, "Am I/can I be your man?"

- - -

6. Baseball Mom - ep 5

Like with the Cheney/Kennedy shirt, this one is fabulous for how ridiculous it is but also for the contrast it has to the poignancy of the scene. The deep red and blue of Pat's pants and top beautifully illustrate the depth of his feelings for Pran, and the fact that the word "Baseball" almost blends in with the blue behind it shows how close Pat and Pran are to becoming a couple, a union, themselves. The loudness of the "mom" in white, however, perhaps symbolises the obstacle they face in being open with their eventual relationship and a big reason why Pran left Pat alone.

- - -

5. Picasso-esque print - ep 5

This is the first of three shirts that Pat wears during ep 5 that has Pran's red over his heart, and more importantly he wears this one during his wonderful Oh moment about his feelings for Pran. The blue shirt (his own colour) that he wears over the top partially obscures the red and illustrates how his feelings for Pran existed under the surface but took a while to be revealed. Even here they weren't fully realised, out in the open. It was only after being jealous of Wai's closeness to Pran later in the ep that he really understood the hold Pran had on his heart, and then his feelings fully blossomed...much like the orange/red flower on the pineapple shirt during the later fight scene.

- - -

4. Golden gate bridge - ep 9

This shirt is incredible for many reasons: first it has Pran's red, Pat's own blue, and a bridge lit up with yellow lights (which I interpreted as symbolising their love and happiness). As a whole, this shirt illustrates how Pat becomes the bridge between the two faculties during the ep, and more importantly between Pran and Wai (I mean, he got himself shot because of Wai). Not only that, the bridge itself is an iconic image of the power of collaboration between architecture and engineering.

- - -

3. Salome - ep 4

As far as I can tell, the name 'Salome' and the Picasso painting don't originally belong together - so this fantastic shirt seems purposely designed, perhaps by the show's production team. The Picasso painting, Portrait of Sabartes, alludes to Pat being a 'faithful dog' who follows Pran around and sings his praises (Picasso and Sabartes were also lifelong friends and born in the same year). And 'Salome' alludes to Ink being the 'faen fatale' of the show, emphasised by Pat wearing this when it was implied that Ink might be a love interest for him, as well as Pat's repressed emotions and his gradual realisation of them. This post explains this incredible shirt in more detail.

- - -

2. Proud to be a Noles Hater - ep 7

Another shirt ridiculed by many but which upon a closer look proved to be incredible. The slogan symbolises the layered themes of rivalry and pride infused throughout the show - from their families and faculties to the play and each other, and is also a tongue-in-cheek joke of the fact that Pat and Pran are not the rivals they're made out to be (although they love a bit of competition). These themes are emphasised further by a few more t-shirts that Pat wears following this one, and which are explained in more detail here.

- - -

1. Overlapping leaves - ep 4

The sheer genius of this shirt is that it doesn't look like anything special at first glance. It's only when Ink's and Pran's coinciding tops are also taken into account that its brilliance shines...and to some extent the Salome shirt as well (since the colour also connects to Ink's top). The overlapping leaf design in the shirt has two colours - one a creamy mustard yellow and the other a light grey/blue. These are the two colours that Ink and Pran wear respectively in their scenes with Pat during the episode - indicating Pat's divided affections for them, with one fading and the other growing.

- - - - - -

This is an updated version of this post, remade for #BADBUDDYWEEK

Day 5, Favourite Dynamic: Me and all of Pat's shirts 💪🏼

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #badbuddyweek #pat's amazing shirts #pat's shirts make me feral #oh pat my darling #I know this isn't like the usual content you're making/getting #but I wouldn't be me if I didn't shout a little about how incredible the wardrobe design for this show is #uservid #userjemmo #tosnimeat #userjjessi #mjtag #userbillkin #usernuria #userconcrete #userkit #tuserhidden #tonanons #hipranparakul #user111 #usertaeminie #todramaism #ninisdarlings #vishingwell #forangel #userjap #I may have gone overboard with the tags...I hope you don't mind! #and I hope I didn't forget anyone

[hellsvestibule]

Seee if nobody else got me I know @zeravmeta got me. Please please pleaseee….I…insane clown p-ussy...

I think in his interactions w Anyone really. he needs to be read as pretentiously playing the “devil you know.” Like, as you mentioned here for Jeanne this takes the form of like, an unhinged desperate man turning to her for forgiveness. But he changes his personality up a bit w everyone he talks to in a way that mirrors their perceived insecurities. All of its genuinely Him because he has a strong personality, but he also has very strong paralels to every character I can think about him having any sustained interaction w. I can’t even really get into all of them cuz I’d be here forever but I’ll rant a bit about some scenes he has w Jeanne, mash, the one valentines scene w Kama, his general shtick w nursery rhyme. And how murder at the kogetsukan is actually imo important to understanding who he is at heart.

The thing is in each case I can think of where he does this, the reality is he’s more similar to the person he’s trying to disturb than the person whose evil behavior he’s imitating. Or is equally similar to both and kind of bridges the theological gap between them a bit maybe. Like, w jeanne, it’s not just that he’s behaving like Gilles, he is also situationally a lot like Jalter, he himself is some weird horny old man’s botched lab experiment out to avenge himself and others like him, but also, his approach to this feels more abstract and inhuman than Jalter , more adjascent to jeanne herself, and I think that’s meaningful bc she sort of theologically distances herself from Jalter but here is a guy who is batshit in both ways. He enacts good will through force of evil deeds which distance him from being able to hold normal relationships, the type of morality I don’t think Jeanne who holds tight to goodness for goodness sake, or even most normal people, can really begin to comprehend, but it’s also, the same way others can’t comprehend her insistence that she’d hold tight to goodness no matter what is done to her. Both are simultaneously, totally reasonable for latching onto the abstract concepts of good and evil within their own perspective. But totally incomprehensible to anyone who isn’t also. like that. Sure Mephy may have the “selfish” Jalter adjacent motives of a victim lashing out to avenge himself in an undignified attempt to gain dignity. But also, like, fatalistic understanding of the will of god as something he serves at his own expense, means he kind of is a saint and martyr in his own weird way. When I say serving the will of god I don’t mean happily so, he even says to guda he wants to help them kill god, bc. Well, he’s the worst Big Daddy upstairs of them all. But he’s still a big daddy who can smite you like an insect, so you have to play by his rules. Mephy wants to make everyone think he’s evil, bc he wants to become a real devil, bc that’s what he thinks he exists to be, what will give him power to avenge himself, and so he’s purposely denigrating himself to an inhuman construct to achieve it, and a portion of the audience apparently buys it, bc just being an arrogant asshole dressed like a creepy clown is enough to rub a lot of people the wrong way. But imo he holds a similar type of arrogance as Jeanne’s in this regard. He’s holding himself to an impossible standard of both good and evil so he kind of had the right to call it out in her even if he’s a hypocrite, which he is in every interaction w everyone. And also, even the parallel to Gilles has multi tiered meaning, since Faust is often portrayed as a child abuser, and so is mephisto in the Goethe play, and he sort of ends said play lamenting his obsession w innocence and purity and inability to ever possess it being his downfall... and like, our Mephy, i would guess, despite the conflicting framing of him, probably doesn’t want to become that, but might sort of think this is his natural disposition or fate, simply bc the things he’s implied about Faust or at least how he perceives him. So only Jeanne can save him from becoming and committing evil like that right? But like. No. She can’t. Bc he’s not her devil. And she shouldn’t even really be held responsible for Gilles, or any other unhinged guy needing her forgiveness. Mephy is pointing out how many people approach her w this whim that she can make them fucking normal if she just hits them hard in the head w a brick. This is normal to her but it’s pitiful it’s normal and she accepts it as such, which he probably wants her to admit, bc his repeated theme across these interactions is that he just wants people to be happy and reject creeps like him, but tells them in the cruelest way possible. which brings me to. Mash!! Bc it paralels his behavior towards her too.

When he first meets Mash in garden of order, he says a bunch of things that are brought back as specific notes of contention within her dynamic w Beryl during the lostbelts (and also Pepe and Kadoc to some degree) He says he’s like her big brother in an attempt to get her guard down, which Fujimaru chips in instead of letting it fly as ironic or cruel like yeah yeah, you’re like her big brother, encouraging him in a positive way bc Fujimaru believes in everyone’s capacity to be equals, flying in the face of mephistos assumptions Fujimaru only likes mash bc her lack of agency and rebelliousness, so they would consequently hate him for being. Not a nice sweet submissive person. This is true of Mash in this point of the story, she has little agency in the earlier chapters, and if you understand his character you understand he actually relates to this and is genuinely horrified on her behalf, but is phrasing it more like it’s in a pitiful inconvenience than w the kindness it actually needs to be said, the same thing kadoc did which is why I point out it’s not just beryl even if it’s mostly beryl.

Bc he also says he watched his roommate repeatedly sever the arms of his family members every night, and due to his conditioning by Faust sacrificing humans (supposedly to aid in his creation) doesn’t know if this is done as an act of abuse or love, specifically adjascent to what beryl does to her and what she asks after. At this point in the story you haven’t met Beryl, but Mash still clearly dislikes this, she becomes visibly uncomfortable and for a short bit after that is slightly hesitant towards mephisto, but she also like, gets over it really quickly after she sees him attack his “bad” selves, stepping in to be like, oh, ok, I see you are trying to become a better person despite having been mislead and used as a proxy for other peoples violence. She Gets it. She’s the first to sort of commit to the repeated theme w Mephy, that everyone he attempts to harass is actually hesitantly accepting and compassionate towards him and willing to relate to him, he’s the one who most struggles to accept this possibility of having normal loved ones who care and understand him and not just bc they are naive and mislead by him. Bc if everyone trusts him not due to naïveté but due to recognition of everything he embodies. He loses power as a (theoretical) devil. He is obviously, regardless of his status as a know it all, mostly just a petulant traumatized child, with no real power over anyone. That’s both the sad and hopeful thing. Power is bad for him, it’s the corrupting force which will help him actualize into a real devil. But conversely he’s the easiest villain to defeat and in some ways purposefully so, because deep in his heart he doesn’t actually want to win. He just wants to be innocent, if someone does not give him any power over them by reacting with violence or hate, he utterly flounders. Devils only exist if you will them too, but nobody here wants the devil, they want Mephy to be whoever Mephy actually is, some sort of, weird pathetic clown guy who is sort of sweet and sort of an asshole? and that’s incredibly agonizing to him bc he doesn’t know who the fuck that is without Faust. He has very little personhood outside of Faust and yet constantly boasts his independence and freedom, for understandable reasons.

Preoccupation with avenging lost innocence is a good segueway to the valentines scene with Kama I think. Also note, I use Kama and Sakura sort of interchangeably here but I recognize they still separate characters. To me this scene reads as the character Kama wanting to offer something nice to the character child Sakura. But I sort of mush them together when discussing them.

IMO if you don’t understand these characters backstories still haunt them, this scene might fly totally past the radar as anything important, because Kama is trying to downplay her engagement in any of these scenes, so it’s played for silly and awkward in context. But that’s just any scene Mephy is in, and you have to look past it for what it really is. Kama is pretending to be a child at the park w her dad, sort of, mimicking maybe one of the last happy memories of childhood Sakura has, and Mephy is clearly here to play the villain, he doesn’t even really have to Try to be sakuras devil bc he’s already at glance an amalgamation of the worst traits of all the family members who hurt her but. Also. He’s a stranger,,, or more so, they sort of imply they concocted this scenario ahead of time and are just really bad actors motivated by the same wants, who are using each other as pawns for each others evil ends (showing the hypocrisy central to their approach).

However. Your feelings of dread are kind of mitigated by the obvious fact no one here wants to play out a depraved or traumatic scenario bc it clearly hits them too close to home. I think the implication given by their backstories is they are waiting to see if you are a creepy or innept dad towards child kama, because Mephy as we know from how he talks about Vicky Frank in London, is basically itching to smash literally every shitty dads shitty face in. but of course guda isn’t a shitty dad, so they’re left w nothing but a really awkward setup they’re trying to play off as meaningless that kinda screams like, this isnt meaningless and petty at all actually, both really wish their fucking parental figures had taken them to oniland instead of committing human rights violations. They did not get to have normal childhoods and so they implicitly. want this nice little fantasy to play out for child Sakura. without phrasing it as such bc that kind of open admission of vulnerability is forbidden, so mephisto, as usual, will play the villain to his dying breath, bc he won’t ever directly admit he’s traumatized. Neither will Kama of course, but this is -their- valentines scene, which necessitates them revealing more than he does. It goes to show how hard mephisto will self denigrate until the other party confronts their inner demons, and that’s bc the clown in him that exists to be humiliated and despised, which Kama has to give in to bc a god of love can only go so far in that capacity. So it feels like Kama is both. Irritated by the pretentiousness of this . He ends up being less like shinji or his father or zouken and more like Kariya, and that’s still shitty and traumatizing in its own way. Mephisto prefaces this scene as him being creepy but what he’s really doing is going oh poor baby whatever you’re going through is more important than having my own similar problems be understood. And of all things, that’s what fucks this scene up. She’s trying to brush off why this scenario or any of these scenarios exist bc she’s never dealt w this pain and assumed she could preface all of this w ironic detatchment. But still! Going to a park is something kariya and her mom used to do w her and her sister, showing she might not have actually totally forgotten what this type of thing means and holds sentimental attatchemt to the idea of it (a theme park just ups the ante and the fantasy aspect of it) But also do you really think Kama would admit they want this sort of sentimental thing unironically? So Mephy the clown must prove he is a worse more traumatized asshole than Kama , so she can admit by proxy she just wants to act like a normal innocent kid for a day, she doesn’t have to thank him for this role or even care about him, but she still points out hes not evil, that he does this as a pretentious part of being what he is, and she focuses on the one thing that’s Not familiar. Clown. he’s sticking to the act of a horrible despicable clown, even on Valentine’s Day, bc hes a very pathetic man scared of being loved, and would probably sooner die than admit that. kama does the big person thing, accepts the shallow pretense they brought you here w for the paradoxical depth it has, this is a normal scenario of a little girl at the theme park with her dad, who had a brush in with a creepy clown and just wants to feel protected and loved. Both of them are too detatched to tell Why you any of this was necessary, it’s the context of what they’ve said and done before now you need to read into, It actually makes me really sad to think about.

Also this is why I’m convinced Mephy is concious and self aware in murder at the kogetsukan. Even the naming convention and setup follows everything you see from the established patterns of interactions, the names of the violet family have a lot of biblical conventions which feel too convoluted to ignore the symbolism of. (Also, that dancing with Eve and Lilith is something he and Faust do in the play, and gorgon taking Margaret’s face in the same scene, there’s just a lot of weird little meta bits in here) Mephy’s character is named Cain, which imo gives him an excuse to break the fourth wall 4th wall and literally just be a self possessed actor rather than narratively lacking self awareness. Named after Gods grandson, whom God dismisses because his sacrifice of plant instead of meat is deemed less significant, and so he becomes possessed by the devil and enraged, and imo this is paraleling mephistos preoccupation w his doll body, how it implicitly makes him feel inherently objectified and worthless and inhuman. Like. Valentines day he gives you a pet which will explode and simulate artificial death, and tells you he wants you to see it as a mascot more worthy than fou. Or when you give him chocolate he’s like (clown screech) my heart valve is pumping. Constantly reminding you he isn’t human and feels awful about it. He thinks his own life and death is meaningless because he is artificial which is why he’s a self sacrificing individual. While maybe not concious and self aware. Ignore everything Moriarty says abt the faces not being significant? They are, Lancelot is cast as and is subsequently the perfect father to this stand in for mephisto bc he’s also struggling w these same feelings and told it all to kariya back in fate zero, and he’s worried he’s a bad dad who would objectify or traumatize his kid, something you see Moriarty needle him for in grand carnival albeit played for laughs at the fact that usually Lancelot is the one who ends up objectified, but Moriarty is also someone who needles peoples trauma when trying to help them. But Lancelot’s like, not what people assume him to be, he’s a genuinely loving person, and so is his character by proxy, so the second “Cain” realizes this, he has a massive sentimental breakdown where he says he loves his family and wants to save them, and I think this is important not to distance the characters 100% from the npcs in this moment bc it shows major facets of Mephisto and Lancelot that often get ignored or misunderstood, and lets mephisto actually commit to his genuine issue of just wanting a dad who loves him normally and showcases that Lancelot actually is so good he wouldn’t care if he’s in a family unit wher he’s a cuckold or his kid is a crazy loser like him, the things people sort of assume he’s preoccupied w being like the possession of another man’s wife or having the perfect child, but like, no, he genuinely just wants to love the people he’s with in the moment but is hesitant to attempt it. the event isn’t totally uncorrelated to the faces the npcs have at all. For some people at least (Mephy, Lancelot, Moriarty, and Mordred off the top of my head) all had some deep seated desire or other fulfilled by this scenario . (Sherlock npc dies, mordred npc has a dick) I can’t really rationalize the others but these 4 at least are super obvious, and it’s part of why I want to “blame” mephisto bc I think out of everyone his reasons for wanting this and ability to put it into place as a mythological wish granter who concocts dreams, makes the most sense motive wise, and also, the deadly fever guda falls under as well as the fantasy concocted are both things mephistos poison is capable of in faust. But I might be missing something, it’s possible like the drama Cd or something I don’t remember revealed a culprit behind the “it was all a dream” thing, but I just think it’s notable that for mephisto there is no barrier between dreams and reality.

Also I should probably mention the importance of his dynamic w nursery rhyme mirroring the absense of what he and Kama don’t have? She calls him uncle mephy and is clearly like, trying to talk him out of his nihilistic suicidal outlook of reality. Bc well whatever, they are both helpless broken dolls but also, she has reason to form sentimental attatchment to clowns, they -are- familiar to her, Faust was one of the first plays put on by pantomime, clown theatre, as was the goose that laid the golden egg, a story about sacrificing something loyal to you so you can reap the immediate benefits of its labor. and I think the latter was one of the performances where mother goose went from a folklore figure to having a canon physical appearance (and you can see as of fgo she still does not, she’s still using Alice’s appearance) and there’s even more nameplay going on w the paralels to kariya she’s invoking w the uncle Mephy shtick making them like kariya and Sakura, kariyas name means “wild goose” and being sent on a wild goose chase is a euphemism for becoming lost in pursuit of something you desire. Mephy doesn’t seem to accept anything in reality as anything but nonsense and farce, yet he constantly imbues every attempt at nonsense and trivializing peoples problems w a huge load of painful sincerity. mother goose is, itself, a book of mostly nonsense. But its sentimental purpose as a familiar children’s book and folklore brushes against his, saying “you have a home here” something he’s obviously in severe denial of wanting but also manages to make 90% of his personality. Mephisto at the start of faust is literally just a lost dog looking for a home. @zeravmeta mentioned how little of Mephy is even allowed to be himself, and he exists mostly through others and like, yeah! There’s more paralels than there is Mephy at a certain point. every “joke” scene Mephy is in is actually majorly sad and fucked up the moment you take a minute to dissect it. Bc he’s convinced trauma makes him funny, when it only paradoxically makes him funny by sheer force of how unfunny he is.

#clown clown clown #faust grand order #laust in the faust #a very long post so do not click if you don’t want to read very long analysis of the fucking clown #source: repeated Faust reader and appreciator who actually mostly likes what fgo has done w him #also you are welcome to add or correct any details bc I’m working from memory here I’m prone to getting things wrong when I do that #and ofc zerav you don’t have to read it now or ever but I said I’d post it and tag you if you were ok w that so I will #oh and want to confirm I recognize Kama and Sakura are separate beings but I think you need to address the needs of both correlating there