#EVERY FUCKING CAMPAIGN WE DO THIS RIEGEL
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the sam riegel effect of pulling the most insane move that makes the whole table react
#EVERY FUCKING CAMPAIGN WE DO THIS RIEGEL#AHHHHHHH#cr#critical role#c3e91#beaureblogs#f.c.g.#fresh cut grass
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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 76
Wow ... just wow ...
This is a good one, actually. Love LOTR, so yeah, this is great fun.
Ah yes ... Marisha is clearly NOT in the mood for his shit this week. Oh, the water spray! Yeah ... that's right ... typical Sam ... oof, this is a BAD skit ...
Laura and Ashley failing spectacular to live up to their respective character's classic accents is quite charming actually ... oh wow, has Pate FINALLY got his own t-shirt? Sweet ...
Sam: "I am Gimli, son of ... what was it?" Oh gods ...
New intro? Really? Oh shit ...
Fuck me ... I am SHOOK ... I dunno what I liked more, the lashings of Imodna or the way Fearne has such a cute and innocent smile on her face while wreaking bloody havoc ...
Matt's already having trouble with the beard. Wonderful ... Happy Halloween indeed ... XD
Aaaaaaaaagh no ... NOW he makes them roll ...
Oh, he rolled a 100? Oh ... shit no ... not a 5 ... SAMUEL FUCKING RIEGEL!!!
Ow! OW OW OW OW OW!!!
66? Please ... Taliesin: "Whose foot is coming out of my arm?"
Yeesh ... that was hairy ... but HELLO!!! Hi there, Sun Tree! Nice ...
Ooh, a greeting. Sweet ...
Marisha freaking out about hearing the Chetney voice coming from Travis dressed like Aragorn, son of Arathorn is so on point for how this session is destined to go ...
Oh man ... Laudna having traumatic flashbacks walking through Whitestone ... ouch ...
They're geeking out about being back in familiar surroundings ... ah yes, Percy's workshop. :3 Sweet ...
Tinkering? Oh, okay ... hey! Verna and Joe ... and Dancer! Yay! And Pussy 2 ... XD
Percy! Yay again! And he's just as crotchety as ever ...
Ah, so Percy and Dancer are NOT getting along, apparently ...
Whoa ... you are KIDDING ME ... NO ... NO ... IT IS NOT ... yes, it is, Allura! Sweet! All we need now is Kima showing up too and the full set is COMPLETE ...
So he has MORE of these simulacrum things. Cool ... but also not. Yeah ... crap ...
Allura knows Ludinus? Great ... but yeah, she thinks he's a douche too. Par for the course ...
The Harness is now largely RETROFITTED? Whoa ... sounds quite sleek and sexy, in fact ...
Way to go, Allura ... nice work there, clearly ...
A power still? Interesting ... the Quintessence Array? Even more so ... yeah, I figured this had the potential to be something NASTY ... yeah, good plan ... oh for ... CHETNEY!!!
The main course? Oh ... okay then ...
2 points of Fire damage AGAIN ... and a little inconvenience for Percy, too ... XD
Oh gods ... the hat ...
Children ... they're all still children ... EVERY TIME he mentions Pussy 2 ...
Allura: "This is extremely intense and extremely dangerous." FCG: "Like Chetney?" Travis (flipping his wig): "Oh baby ..."
Ashton (to Percy): "Adults are talking. Shush now." LOL
Oh, so Orym knows Allura already? Well it does make sense, of course ...
Whoa ... that was it? Oh boy ... IT'S ALIVE!!! O.O
SOMEONE ... to try it? Really?
The Vial of Cleansing Flame? Really? You're gonna start with THAT?!!!
Chet has 69 hit points ... OF COURSE he does ...
So we're really doing this ... okay then ...
Percy really is getting the short end of the stick in this at every turn and I love it ... XD
Enchanted Dishwear ... that cleans itself? Wow ... that is spectacularly crap ...
It's actually working ... oh boy ... five temporary hit points? And ... WHAT does it do Travis?
Holy fuck that us pretty choice actually ... also a little scary ...
Sam's flask ... oh my gods ... the ultimate ...
Table of Smart People ... yes, very true, Ashton ... ask the experts ...
Let's NOT Rend Ashton into a thousand pieces ... YES!!! Give it to Fearne!
Are they suggesting that Ashton and Fearne ... mate?
Allura's really gonna try going into Ashton's head? Seriously?
Aaaaaaah ... this is getting trippy ...
Dunamancy? Oh, here we go ...
Oh boy ... more Ashton backstory lore dumping! Yay! I love this stuff ...
The Luxon? Hmmmm ...
Oh shit ... the Malleus Key ... oooooh fuck ... wow, this is some heavy shit ... he DREAMS ABOUT this shit? O.O
:3 Laura mimicking the Merry waddle as she comes back to the table is adorable ...
Oooh ... is that a Mighty Nein namedrop there?
Ashton: "Wanna put a weird fire emperor in you?" Fearne: "Well, I mean it wouldn't be the first time." XD
Marisha: "Shirtcocking through Whitestone ..."
Long suffering Percival De Rolo ... XD
Laudna uses Pate to do some magical eavesdropping ... hmmm ...
A heart-to-heart with Dancer? Oh this'll be interesting, and likely really tough too ...
Wow ... this is really refreshing ... this is GROWTH ... awwwww ... yeah, we really needed this ... FCG definitely needed this ...
Ooh, some fresh info on D? Yeah, that would be helpful ... a mask? Hmmmm ... I wonder what Matt's setting up with THAT little detail ...
A hug? Really? Awwwwww ... awkward, but sweet ... :3
So Pate's listening in on Percy and Allura ... here we go ...
It's true, WE ARE currently being invaded by aliens ...
Crap, he's been discovered! Oh boy ... that is hilariously embarrassing ... he's doing the Worm? Yeah, I can imagine it's a bit disturbing ...
Oh, I love that little undead rat thing ...
Ah, food? Nice ... meanwhile the LOTR quotes continue apace ... XD
Orym is a very pretty bride, apparently ...
Discussing the particulars of the Harness ...
Large antlers? Oh! Hey! It's Keyleth! Yay!
Ah yes! The War Room! It's been a while ...
Paintings? Oh wow ... the adventures of Vox Machina! Sweet ...
Whoa ... Keyleth's MUM?!!! So cool ...
Time for a break, then ... yes, then we can concentrate on the really COOL stuff ...
Okay, here we go ...
Ah, so, the bigger picture is revealed ... hmmmm ...
The Reilora have special and specific powers against Divine magic ... ooooh ... interesting ...
Whoa, so the ongoing thing with Ruidus is making things continuously WORSE for all of magic in Exandria? Shit ... that's even worse ...
Imogen's dreams, yeah ...
Good girl, Imogen, you go ahead and mess with him telepathically ... XD
Yes. She IS very capable ...
Travis actually rolls to see if Chetney just drops dead right now ... apparently it's LOW ... oh boy ... Travis: "I'm flirting with it ..."
They are still kind of the Bumbling Fucks, but now they're becoming more powerful and important Bumbling Fucks ...
Marisha + that wig = Tilda Swinton ... fuck, once you see it, you really can't unsee it, can you?
This is what makes a bunch of heroes, right here ...
Matt: "We are not rolling for pregnancy."
Oh yeah, Caleb and Beau ... what HAS happened to them?
No teleportation to the moon ... yeah, probably not a smart move ...
Keyleth sends her mum to rally the troops and everybody grins as they quietly geek out ...
Insight check on Legendary Weapons? LOL
Oddly specific scrounging for treasure from FCG ... Percy: "Why does that sound so familiar?"
Bells Hells giving Keyleth such adorable nostalgia ...
Matt's beard is becoming comedy gold, it really is ... XD
A moment for Orym and the Voice ... :3
Keyleth advising Orym to keep an eye on Imogen due to her mother ... Keyleth: "Family ties can be ... confusing." Hmmmm ...
Does FCG know about devils? Religion check? Oh boy ...
Going on a tour of Whitestone? Hmmm ... what, go call oh Whitestone Andy? Throw some rocks at him? He was a big douche to her ...
Oh yeah, Vex was pretty fond of them all in the end, wasn't she?
They're being watched? I think I already know who this is ... Orym goes looking ... yeah, it is her, isn't it? Hello there cuteness ...
I love Gwen so much, she's such a sweetheart ...
She thinks Chetney's 4,000 years old? Awwww ... :3
Laudna introduces Gwen to Pate ... oh gods ...
Pate: "I'm very friendly ... in the presence of children." Oh gods indeed ...
Now she's showing her the Hound ... and she loves it ... ye gods even more ...
Fucking hell Ashley, how do you get 32 on an Insight check? Damn right she gets Whispers ...
Oh, she sensed something when she touched Laudna? Hmmmmm ...
Imogen, Laudna and Fearne follow her up into a room ... and now they're playing a game to try and coax her out? A group Persuasion Check? Hmmmm ...
Well this might still work ... just be honest with her ... and Laudna does just that ... then leaves? Oh ... that's really sad ...
A hatred? Oh man ... was that fucking Delilah? Damn it, it was ... bollocks ...
Planning a little Witchy Adventure after dark? Okay then ...
Ashton is wandering about with the other boys ... what, Changebringer's temple? Hmmm ...
Splitting up, now off to the Matron of Ravens' Temple ... nice secluded spot for it, definitely ... here we go ... a graveyard? Interesting ...
Oh, the Dawnfather? Interesting ... more modest and homely, at least ... here we are, Altar of the Raven ...
A statue of Vax? Oh wow ... that is awesome ...
Looking for an entrance ... oh, that was surprisingly easy ... and now it is PITCH BLACK ... hmmmm ... going downwards ...
Scrawny hairless ancient dwarf? How the hell does THAT work?
Othinon? Okay then ...
Five stone sarcophagi ... right ... so they're more symbolic, then?
Oh gods Ashton what are you doing? Dear fucking gods do not open that ... oh, very good joke there, Ashton ... but seriously, what the fuck is he doing?
And now he is SEALED INTO THE SARCOPHAGUS ... now Othinon is directing them to go into the others? Hmmmm ... Chetney and Orym and SHARING one ...
Nothing's happening so far ...
Oh shit, are they starting to trip out? Yeah, here we go ... it's very subtle but it's happening ...
Each having their own separate but similar experience, it would seem ... or ARE THEY sharing communication after all? Seems to be both ...
Oh okay ... hello there, Raven Queen ...
Now they're floating in a black shapeless void ... the Matron looking down upon them ... oh, so Ashton's going to try climbing out using one of the chains ... and it works? Now they're ALL doing it ...
The chains break? Now they're falling and she just explodes into a mass of ravens ...
Wait ... so what, was that actually some kind of blessing? Weird ...
That was quite the trip ... for all of TWO MINUTES ...
Meanwhile FCG has gone to the Horizon Temple ... oh, hello Osli! Nice to see a familiar face ...
Oh fuck ... Letters saying if something IS going to go bad he asks the Changebringer to maybe make it happen just to HIM and not to his friends ... come on, FCG ... don't destroy us emotionally like that ...
FCG really does have a very healthy relationship with his goddess, all things considered ...
So business has been particularly brisk at the temple lately ... par for the course, really ...
Sam: "Thank you, Cat Stevens." Matt: "It's the least I could do, ZZ Top."
Reconvening at the crepe stand ...
Holy shit, the guy there IS Whitestone Andy? Motherfucker ... Laudna is being magnanimous in her anonymity ...
Meanwhile Imogen is just subtly messing with him ...
Fuck, did FCG REALLY just Banish Andy? XD
Oh, NOW he finally remembers ... oh, maybe it's NOT him? Gods, I'm so confused ...
Closure ... nice ...
Back to the castle, time for rest and turning in ... Nice place go finally get some overdue PROPER rest. Reflecting on what's to be done, and what's to come ...
They almost don't let him, but Matt calls it a night after all ...
So that's that for the night ... and Happy Halloween ...
#critical role#crit role campaign 3#crit role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#campaign 3 episode 76#matt mercer#marisha ray#laudna#travis willingham#chetney pock o'pea#laura bailey#imogen temult#liam o'brien#orym of the air ashari#ashley johnson#fearne calloway#taliesin jaffe#ashton greymoore#sam riegel#fresh cut grass
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4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3E19 - E21 (May 3, 2022)
Tonight’s guests: Sam, Liam, Taliesin, and Laura. Liam: “Will the wheels just come off without Marisha here, or...?” Laura: “I feel like it already has.” Tonight’s Tavern Keeper host is Sam Riegel. Based on the teleprompter’s cues, he does a very, very terrible imitation of Fjord’s country accent. Laura, from offscreen: “It’s just FCG! Just do FCG!” Sam: “Yeah, but he’s deeper than me!” Oh gosh, this is off the rails already.
What the Fuck is Up With That? Sam starts the segment showcasing his flipflopped feet. Finally, we get to a question: how has it been to have a fluid group with the loss of Bertrand & Dorian, and the addition of Chetney? Liam says this didn’t feel like home at the start. Laura thought it felt really weird when Bertrand died and they were without Travis for so long. Sam thinks it made it harder to learn everyone’s goals, but he loved Dorian/Robbie both for who he is and what he brought to the dynamic: a kind character, great as a soundboard. Laura brings up that Dorian had a hardcore crush on one of the characters. “I’m pretty sure it was FCG.” Liam brings up that doing the mini-run with Fearne & Dorian in ExU made the rest of the group feel a bit like outsiders for the first few episodes, which was weird. Taliesin really liked it, thought it felt like X-Men.
Segue: Taliesin was way into comics as a kid, and reveals he once had a long conversation with Lenore Riegel, Sam’s mom, about Sam’s childhood. Sam was a Fantastic Four reader and never got into X-Men. Laura reveals she’s never seen Lost Boys, and everyone agrees it’s a very Laura movie.
Ruidus! WTFIUWT? Everyone agrees that Imogen’s dreams are happening on the moon, even though it hasn’t been confirmed in canon yet. Dani notes that Imogen’s mother wasn’t necessarily Ruidus-born, but was at least part of the study for psychic powers (and reminds us the Lumas twins were the ones to rip out the rest of the study’s pages). Orym’s moon tattoos were pure coincidence. Sam: “What do they symbolize? Are they you and your husband?” Laura, incensed: “You were THERE at the TABLE when he explained this!” Sam: “Oh, that’s why I think that.” Liam: “That’s what this show is for, to catch Sam up to speed.” Liam does point out that Travis is a moon-related werewolf. Taliesin is REALLY hoping they’ll go to the moon this campaign. Laura, Liam, and Tal accidentally start stuttering and fall into improv scat; Sam: “I don’t even know what they’re not talking about!” However, Sam remembers that in Legends of Vox Machina, Laudna came back to life under double moons in the animated shot. Tal tells us he reads the lore books Matt puts out as he reviews how Catha & Ruidus move in relation to each other. (Side note: @eponymous-rose, my partner in these recaps, has been talking about Exandria’s crazy moons since Campaign One. Nice to see this coming to fruition!)
The heist! WTFIUWT? Liam forcibly keeps us on topic by praising Matt for constantly varying the tempo of the game, avoiding all combat or all shopping or all heartfelt side conversations. Laura thinks they planned absolutely horribly; the moment when they realized they didn’t even scout the building was devastating. Tal was certain they’d be okay as long as they didn’t split up--except they did so immediately.
Liam talks about how he made Orym to be a “sidecar guy” who’d stick his finger in every electrical socket he came across, but over the course of ExU and then very quickly into C3 he found himself and his mediocre intelligence score (and Imogen) becoming the shop-minders instead of chaos monkeys. Tal tells us that save Imogen, this party is effectively a party of NPCs: Orym is the guy who works for the queen, Ashton is a goon for a villain, FCG is someone’s beast character; Laudna’s a ghost you would encounter. Imogen seems to be the only person with an intense destiny right now, aside from maybe Dorian. Sam could see Matt playing all of their characters as a silly voice. “It’s very X-Men.”
Travis’s invis-o-scouting with Chetney reminds Laura of Vax, in that they both would just disappear without warning and really annoy her. Taliesin talks about Ashton’s personal code & why the violation of the heist’s non-life-threatening rules affected Ashton so much. “If you have a deal, you don’t fuck with it. If you fuck with the deal, new deal and I get to make up what it is. Don’t put your hands on me if I don’t know you.”
They reminisce about heists within the show (all are followed with “that was terrible”), then discuss heist movies. Logan Lucky gets brought up! Excellent movie.
The Tower of Inquiry! Laura pulls a(n apparently quite sticky) block. It’s about preplanned character histories vs. organic adjustment of those histories within the game. Liam loves that you come into the game with a premise, then get to meet the character as it’s played. Examples: Orym really likes pie, discovered during ExU; Laura didn’t plan on a fear of heights for Imogen until the moment Matt was describing it. She herself doesn’t mind heights at all. Taliesin was struggling to find something for Ashton to be punk-y angry about in a world that fundamentally sort of functions well, but he’s now figured it out as of a few episodes ago.
Laura talks about building a character meant to be very uncomfortable in crowds who was then thrust into a heavily urban setting; she’d originally intended Imogen to stay very withdrawn until they left the city, but they stayed in the city so long she knew she had to at least partially get over it and start talking, or they’d be 20 episodes in and no one would know anything about Imogen at all. Laura & Marisha had lots of big discussions about where their characters had met & their travel history; Sam & Tal had one talk, ha. “You were a question asker and I was a not-question. You’re adorable and I want to make sure no one ever fucks with you.” FCG was delighted to finally have their questions answered when they met the rest of the group. Sam also discusses discovering FCG was a flat-earther, ha! “Strict RP decision,” and not because Sam is a troll in real life. Sure, yeah. He also discovered that FCG eats coins as they played--that wasn’t preplanned, as Sam decided he didn’t want to mess with money at all this campaign. He wanted a character who got rewarded mechanically by building relationships (RPing) with other characters, as that would encourage them to discover things about each other quickly.
Deep Dive! Sam thinks FCG has recovered since the glitching in the Shade Mother’s cavern. Sam himself knows the mechanics of how the glitching & recovery works, but FCG does not, so he can’t discuss it without spoilers. Sam also hadn’t really planned how to perform the errors, so the glitching was improv’ed in the moment.
Ashton’s hammer was made from leftover body parts from Ashton’s accident after Milo finished repairing him. Yuck. Prior to the hammer, they just used brass knuckles & whatever was around they could brawl with.
Laura FINALLY KILLS THE FLY that’s been haunting the set and screams directly into the mic. Bless her heart. Laura reveals that Imogen wasn’t born with her powers or the lightning marks on her arms; they both arrived together with the advent of her dreams. Both Laura & Imogen thought that the marks were just growing with the strength of her magic. She was terrified to use her powers at the start because she thought they were making the markings grow; she didn’t realize it might be related to the dreams. Taliesin asks about the purple hair: “Born with, changed to, or conscious choice?” Laura, weakly: “I haven’t decided yet. I just wanted purple hair...”
Liam’s question is about Laudna, and Laura confronts him on his pronunciation of Loud-na vs. Lodd-na. Liam: “I don’t say Loud-na.” Everyone else: “You do! You do all the time!” Liam: “Anyway. What was it like when Laudy made her revelation?” He says it’s like meeting a historical figure, since Orym wasn’t important in Zephrah but spent a lot of time 15 feet away from VM members discussing important events. It’s like carrying around a little piece of plutonium that he’s not sure how to communicate about. Taliesin tells us Percy is just screaming in the back of his head, “like just loud, irritated, British screams.”
Sam discusses how Liam chooses his race and class for every campaign. He wanted to find a different spin from previous clerics & loves diving into worlds he knows nothing about. He’s never gone through therapy himself, so he wanted to explore that here. He got lots of books and spoke to friends in psychiatry and psychology to get a good foundation. It reminds Taliesin of friends who take one psychology credit in college and go a little overboard. Liam thought it was a very improbable combination and knew Sam would come up with something entertaining. Sam originally intended to have FCG curse a LOT as a reflection of his builder, but thought that would be too exhausting (to Taliesin: “No offense.”). Tal remembers him finding the FCG voice over their session zero.
Segue into accents; there are lots of “viral” accents at the table right now, and it’s hard to keep them from creeping in. Everyone (rightfully) raves about Marisha’s accent and character. Taliesin has seen this voice before from theater with her many years ago and says it’s his favorite thing she does. Sam thinks Ashley also played it smart, because hers isn’t an accent, it’s (breathily) “just a way of being” like Marilyn Monroe or a 50′s movie star.
Ashton is a liar to himself and others, and believes he knows people well even when he doesn’t. “It’s worse when you need people and you’re bad at it.” Taliesin loves that there’s someone in the group okay with their pocket being picked, someone he can be a little bit of a dick to.
Laura has no idea who the figure in the storm is. Wild theory: maybe her mom is evil. Maybe it’s evil Imogen. She’s scared of and intrigued by the storm at the same time. The only thing she hammered into her backstory is Imogen’s certainty that if the storm catches her, she will die, and she’s intrigued that this might be changing.
Liam initially wanted to hatch Orym with his familiar friends, but decided to start him in ExU instead. He notes that they’re worse chaos gremlins in that group & had no Imogen to help him keep things grounded. “Dorian sometimes, but Dorian was a chameleon” who would take on other characteristics when he was talking to someone else. It was a different layer added to Orym and it was great.
Unexpected whiskey slaps cameo on this episode of 4SD! Laura smacks the bejeezus out of Liam (who apparently quite enjoys whiskey slaps but hasn’t been able to partake in a long time). “Should I really do it or should I kind of do it?” “75%. I love you.” Oh, my heart.
Question speed round! Initially, FCG never took offense when he was treated badly, but over the episodes with everyone checking in with them constantly, he’s discovered he’s actually not okay with it after all!
Ashton spent at least older-child-to-teenager years at the orphanage.
The ball was very difficult for Imogen because she couldn’t keep her walls up high enough. She’d never been dressed up in her entire life and was excited about that, but so bummed about being shoved in a corner.
Orym was wandering for years because there were no answers for so long; even now their leads are cold, but he’s growing fond of the new party. It’s giving him sharpened purpose. “Some things should just be made right.”
(Side note: they keep calling each other adorable nicknames throughout this, and it delights me: Limi, Mimi, twins, Tally. I’m just so glad they’re friends.)
Sam reviews their question slips. His were immediately shredded/crumpled, Tal’s were folded into origami, Laura’s stayed untouched, and Liam’s are an eclectic mix of mushroom shape, tiny twist, and flat. Fitting.
Tower of Inquiry (Reprise): Sam pulls a brick. Which Muppets would play your character? Fearne: Janet. Ashton: Animal. FCG: Beaker. Orym: Kermit or Robin (Kermit’s nephew). Imogen: Scooter. Chetney: Waldort and Statler (ha!). Laudna: the Count. Dorian: Sam Eagle or Rowlf. Matt: John Denver or Mark Hamill--one of the human guests.
Break: The Dani Barr confessions, a hilarious black-and-white noir spoof with Taliesin and Dani, with Tal talking about his euphoria at Matt’s frustration regarding his constant min-maxing of complicated homebrew subclasses. (Dani’s accent is fabulous.) “I don’t know what a grit point is, nobody does! Campaign Two--sure, he bumped me off before I had the chance to really get into that crazy, high level shit, but that’s okay. I bided my time, and now...Ashton. Rolling on a random table for nearly everything I do, fundamental chaos! That player’s handbook in your clutches won’t help you, because the table you need isn’t there. I hope you printed out a cheat sheet that consumes an entire panel of your GM screen just for me, and my crunchy little homebrew!”
Post-Break Shenanigans: ostensibly Street Fighter V, but Sam derails us immediately with honor rollies and then more questions as Liam and Tal start off with the game. Sam: “I can tell you that if I were watching this show, I wouldn’t give a shit about [the game].” Is that legal to say??
Imogen thinks Chetney is a funny little horndog. She works really hard with Imogen to avoid meta because technically she could be reading everyone’s thoughts at all times. She got the worst superficial thoughts of everyone when she first got her powers, so she blocks it all out. She wants to think better of people, so it’s an active effort to shut it down.
Laura, Ashley, and Marisha went to get their nails done together. Everything was harder with long nails. This is so cute.
Liam casually drops that all of the guests voice characters in this game except Sam. Taliesin actually voices one of the characters on the stream right now. Man, it’s a different world they live in.
Tal wrote more backstory for Ashton than any other character, which shocks Liam. This is also a character who’s never had something good happen to him, and Matt hates characters like that, so he’s unsure if Matt will stay with that or tweak some things.
Orym was a backup character in Campaign One, when Vax was high level but expected to die. (Laura physically blocks Sam’s view of the TV during this, which is pretty funny.) His backstory was set then; Liam had to find a reason for this high-level character to drop out of the sky. However, since Vax survived, he flipped the dynamic and had Keyleth help Orym instead of the other way around, and saved the character for another time.
Liam plays Gill, which is the character he voiced in this game. Dani is apparently “over it” in the background. Sam tells her to come hang out and she joins them. So cute.
Laura had no idea Imogen would have any connection to Ruidus. She just wrote about the storm, and Matt wrote her back and told her the storm would be red. That was all she knew going into the game. She HATES it when he turns the room red. She gets nervous every time they sleep.
Taliesin had to change one thing about Ashton’s background due to too much overlap with Orym’s background. He can’t reveal what it is yet.
Sam wore flipflops because the internet appreciates feet. Also, it was 88 degrees.
Dani declines to ship on camera; she’d rather let the relationships play out naturally without commentary. Oh, Dani, this is such a wise decision and I’m so glad.
And that’s it! Is it Thursday yet? (It is, it is!)
#critical role#talks machina#4 sided dive#4sd#4 sided dive spoilers#critical role spoilers#long post for ts#very long post for ts
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campaign 3 episode 51: like a fucking fiddle
I am Afraid
sam riegel has never played a video game in his life
dslkjfskl he has to read all the disclaimers for the audio-only people
oh nooo
laura you're the main character how could you
"polishing the knobs"
I got distracted playing with my moon lamp
I can theoretically make it red but eh
the monitor I'm watching on trends warm so the lighting tonight is gonna be fun for me
do we need a deep dive on fcg right this fucking instant
donna noble voice: sometimes you need someone to stop you
poor laura
she probably had so much tea that day. or that weird chinese cough syrup they seem to swear by
stop spending all your spells on sending
"that wasn't an accident"
ira's gonna kill xandis and gank the ship
like I'll be very happy to be proven wrong but magic 8 ball says Unlikely
"sam did a lot of pharmaceuticals before this game"
threaten ira with nana morri
sam suffering for his art
sam's gonna fuck with laura about her voice all gd night isn't he
am I the only person old enough to remember Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot
I'm a simple bitch, I hear "three-pronged claw" and I think Doctor Loboto
someone get him some tinfoil
him leg too big for him got-dam robit
"how do I see - " "take the glasses off"
samuel
damn, nobody can talk tonight
okay where's the bioshock au fanart
they're ALL gonna fuck with laura about her voice
ashley
sam's fuckin gas can
"traveler's garments" they're all wearing green cloaks
NATURAL 20 OF FUCK OFF
oh shit
dunamis bunny
oh somebody finally commented on the warder/water thing
notohan
not the "son"
oh that's not great
ngl I dozed off until everybody yelled @ initiative
I am saving my attention span for when the moon hatches
"wiz kids exists!"
this can obviously only end well
"I'm going to then shit"
rapidly hiding and scarfing food OR me playing breath of the wild
"massive explosions" found caleb
oh NICE
NOT NICE
it was a good idea tho
PROJECT CHICKEN LITTLE
[puts xandis in a bubble]
pls no break ryn
NO BREAK RYN
not the Guess I'll Die
who left the robot unsupervised
HEY
PUT HIM DOWN
"uh-oh-regard"
UH-OH-REGARD
CAN WE HAVE A KEYLETH PLS
we need the Marisha Convergence
every time with the petrify and the arms
I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER AN AIRSHIP PLEASE
HEY WHAT
HEY W H A T
PUT TIME BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME
YEAH
godDAMMIT
LET US HAVE NICE THINGS
"and that's when scanlan shorthalt arrived" listen I'm still crossing my fingers for kiki to bring grog
fcg! buzzsaw!
oh thank GOD xandis booked it
correct response
fucking reddit atheist bro
MATTHEW
that was a hair you didn't need to split
oh cool now I'm crying
"looks important, better push everything"
WHERE KIKI
IS KIKI??
KEYTEOR???
KEYTEOR!!!
MARISHA CONVERGENCE
NO
matthew
sir
matthew you have to drive home with her
HE
THE BOY
he's gonna be in so much trouble with his mom
BUT
liam piecing his brain back together in real time
"he's just so attractive~"
I need this animated. vax as described in the dalen's closet one-shot but animated
nooooo he was so close
god there's not even half an hour left what happens
MONKEY
"let a monkey end this"
WEREWOLF OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
okay that was a good line, I'll give chetney that one
godDAMMIT
like a bird off a windshield
hey I hate it
god I'm so glad my kid's off school tomorrow, no way I sleep after this
noooOOOO
they fucked with keyleth to draw her in bc they knew it'd bring vax in??? is that what fucking happened???
HEY MATT WHAT THE FUCK
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR GROG
oh we have LAURA book-on-head
that's never good
somebody get liam a goddamn fainting couch
they just got fucking BLASTED
is robit on moon???
they're on WILDEMOUNT???
what the FUCK
okay I mean this very legitimately somebody get liam a bottle of water and a blanket. like shit.
somebody get ME a bottle of water and a blanket.
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I was planning on doing this on this coming Saturday, but then I realized that there’s a non-zero chance of getting at least one of these this week, so I figured I’d better do it sooner rather than later.
Also, in case it isn’t clear by now, I’m doing these 30% because it’s fun and I want to, and 70% because if/when they do happen, I can have this in writing and therefore have bragging rights.
KC’s Top 5 CR Player Character Classes Wishlist
(Note that this says “classes” and not “subclasses”. The options on the list should make it clear why, but also I Don’t Actually Know DnD That Well, and don’t have particularly strong opinions re: subclasses.)
Number 1. Literally Any Artificer. There’s been exactly 1 player character artificer in all of Critical Role, and that was Taryon way back in campaign 1. We only got him for 15 episodes, he rarely actually gets included as a member of Vox Machina (even though he absolutely is, dammit), and back then artificers were still Unearthed Arcana. I was SO sure that we’d be getting one in EXU: Calamity, but things didn’t work out that way. Also I just think they’re cool.
Number 2. Literally Any Ranger. Fun Fact: There have only been two player character rangers in all of Critical Role. Vex’ahlia in campaign 1, and Sam Riegel in Liam’s Quest parts 1 & 2. I know Rangers in 5e are Not Great, but there’s some really cool stuff depending on subclass choice. Swarmkeeper, Horizon Walker, Fey Wanderer – there’s so many really cool & creative options. It mostly just boggles my mind that there have been so few of them, across main campaigns and mini-series and one-shots, despite being a core 5e class.
Number 3. Monk (but not Way of the Four Elements). In a very similar vein, there have only been a handful of player character monks. Beau, Farriwen, and Fy’ra Rai are the only monk PCs in Exandria canon, two of which are genasi Way of the Four Elements monks and the other of whom is a homebrew subclass. The only others are Marisha in Liam’s Quest (no subclass given), The Headmistress in CelebriD&D and D&Deisel (no subclass given), and Mezzek in the goblins Pathfinder one-shot from way back when.
There are so many other cool monk subclasses to explore, and while I know that we just had a monk as a main campaign character, that hasn’t stopped them from having a barbarian and a rogue and at least one cleric in every main campaign party. Also Liam would rock Way of the Long Death or Way of Mercy, and you know it.
Number 4. Any Blood Hunter that isn’t Order of the Lycan. Have you figured out the theme of this top 5 yet? :p
But seriously. There have been six player character blood hunters so far, and five of them have been Order of the Lycan (Tova, Chetney, Portia, Benicio, Lawrence). Thank all the gods for Mollymauk Tealeaf for at least attempting to be an Order of the Ghostslayer. I certainly don’t begrudge Travis his manic pixie werewolf dreams, but some variety would be nice, y’know? I’d particularly like to see somebody play an Order of the Mutant, but I’d be fine with any of the other three subclasses.
Number 5. Lingering Soul. Very shortly after I started watching Critical Role, I found out about the plethora of homebrew stuff that Matt has up on DMs Guild. Of course, I purchased and read through all of it, and of course I immediately loved the Lingering Soul class/post-death option that he created. I know it’s a really tricky thing to try to work into a campaign, and it’s something that he’s barely talked about (pretty much everything else of his on DMG has been used by either a player character or an NPC). Right after Molly died in C2, Taliesin was asked on Talks Machina if he would bring him back as a Lingering Soul, but he chose not to. I just… really fucking wanna see someone play this it’s so fucking cool.
DIShonourable mention goes to yet another fucking fighter or rogue. Across campaigns, mini-series, and one-shots, there have been 23 rogue player characters and 19 fighters. I have no problem with either of them, but holy shit pick something else.
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campaign 3 episode 36: and THAT'S MY WIFE
marisha is cute in those glasses
[screams in lovm]
that was so abrupt
I feel like I have to get this to counter the fact that I own the c1 deck from the geek&sundry days
"just wash her out with your tears"
ngl I was not expecting the concept of whitestone to hit me in the chest like this
like they're not even really IN the city yet and I can feel my heartbeat in my face
sun tree SUN TREE
whitestone, premier spring break destination
The Tree™
matthew mercer one-man show as the entirety of vox machina
"falls into step where derrig would have been" fuck you liam
what in the okami
liam: and THAT'S MY WIFE
none of us are over keyleth but liam o'brien is definitely not over keyleth
fcg. sam.
keyleth is non-denominational
"sometimes you have to meet them"
the way I can SEE keyleth aaaahhhh
"that fuck"
travis losing it in the corner
was it a "came back wrong" D:
lays in the floor
tiny de rolo??
KYNAN
Break the Moon is my indie post-punk band
…what if the two exu storylines connect over the different apogee solstices
flying city, flying balcony bar, same picture
liam is going to murder me
"that together form - " "voltron"
the clock turns into a mech
is it still the glasses with 87 lenses, we lost those in lovm but are they still canon here
CHILD
GWEN
oh there I go I'm broken
percy: [being pompous and intimidating]
playing in the back of my head: "the BUTTFLAP is DOWN"
oh they finally said the name, thank god
matt as percy is killing me
(percy as percy is killing me, knock it off you edgelord fuck)
orym: look here you hypocrite
did he roll the advantage??
the bakeryyyy
chetney
"he's very old, he could go at any moment"
"daddy the moon's haunted"
"crackpots" percival
CRIES
I was legitimately not expecting to go this feral over this
tlovm is fantastic but [gestures at the table and the faces and the reactions]
"were you here when the briarwoods were here" something like that
crying over a city
SHE 3X COMBO
I'm love her
she contains multitudes
okay okay okay okay
fearne
ashley
just a simple housewife
…oh
"she was you"
ashton: well this might as well happen
"you hear that babe? we're legends."
oh we're just doing this
delilah u whore
the way EVERY MIC just blew out
I figured that'd be percy's reaction
get his assssss
percival you edgelord fuck
taliesin looks a half second away from answering as percy at all times sdkjfs
the taliesins are fightinnnnng
"his hand goes to the side of his coat" "that's fine"
fuck him uuuuuuup
"my children will not grow up in a world where that woman exists"
oh no ashton's unsupervised
[road to el dorado voice] he's LOOSE
oh no
is ashton gonna play dominoes
"that's not eyesight" mood
I missed trinket noises
"it's a good thing he's got arthritis"
ashton literally pokes the bear
new favorite dynamic
"they're on the council though"
"pike's mine now"
ashley create pike's house in the sims
is this where she lived with scanlan
"he's a complicated man" -> "he's a prick"
(affectionate)
I enjoy that matt is using full titles; we obviously know this is vex and percy and keyleth but the hells don't, they're the Tempest and Lord de Rolo and Lady Vex'ahlia
man please imagine if liam had landed that Fuck You persuasion check
sam has played dragon age
when lady vex'ahlia shooshes you you shoosh
pike speedruns campaign 1
"we get a lot of fresh-baked goods, to be fair"
vex guest star party member??
TAKE VEX
VEX SWORD
"water"
sam riegel, forever wife guy to pike trickfoot specifically
"take a bet on my soul?!" percy's influence
fcg has a human body now a la curie from fallout 4
I wanna live, I wanna experience the universe and I wanna eat pie
vex: I KNOW he's a prick, I married him anyway
"fuck whatever THAT was"
I was never a huge pikelan person but the idea that this might be the house she shared with scanlan is still making me 🥺
excited for this dark ride at critical role land
just do it the old fashioned way dsklfjsl
ashton turn urself into an astral goldfish
"fucking clerics"
turn your back to the woods, hut, hut
dsjkhfs not the blueberry muffin
pate origin story
MAP
"I owe you a Coke"
that is Too Many
Scorching Marisha Ray
remembers the joke Matt made on twitter that his special attack is throwing his wife at people. It's the Marisha Ray.
"I would like to Win"
"that I will reroll bc I am not sam"
"if chetney dies so does christmas"
"your face looks like a butthole!"
guess about how much attention I've been paying to this combat sklfdjslds
"she's gonna know" "how will she know?" "she's gonna KNOW"
"chetney is now in campaign 4"
oh no
I was afraid of this
MATTHOLOMEW
#critical role#spoilers#crititag#liveblog#reaction post#idk if this will make it into the tags since my blog's in limbo#idk how being in blog limbo works
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Eu postei 132 vezes em 2022
Foram 92 posts a mais do que em 2021!
73 posts criados (55%)
59 posts reblogados (45%)
Blogs que você mais reblogou:
@femaleidols
@femadols
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Eu marquei 119 posts meus em 2022
Só 10% dos meus posts não tinham tags
#critical role - 79 posts
#critical role spoilers - 50 posts
#cr spoilers - 25 posts
#bells hells - 25 posts
#mighty nein - 13 posts
#exu calamity - 11 posts
#le sserafim - 8 posts
#sam riegel - 7 posts
#fcg - 6 posts
#snsd - 5 posts
Maior tag: 137 caracteres
#they have purposes and i fully believe that loquatious announcing the end of the world is the way my heart will break in a million pieces
Meus principais posts em 2022:
#5
i’m so excited for this week’s episode because:
possible marisha/laudna comeback to the table
halloween episode
one-year anniversary of the bells hells campaign
73 notas - publicadas em 16 de outubro de 2022
#4
i have many many feelings about episode 3 of exu: calamity and every piece of lore that we got in those 5 hours, but there is something that i would like to bring out:
we’re all in agreement that we will somehow, at some point during campaign 3, hopefully, get hold of loquatius’ end of the world message saying that laerryn tried to save them all from everything that was happening in avalir, right?
i’m aware chances are very low because it happened a very long time ago and there was the whole war, too, but boy if matt ever uses that somehow, i might as well just rip my own heart out of my chest.
82 notas - publicadas em 11 de junho de 2022
#3
During that whole fcg episode, you can just see matt's delighted face when they start to say those very harsh things to the rest of the Bell's Hells and I FUCKING LOVE IT
124 notas - publicadas em 19 de agosto de 2022
#2
I'm not sure if it's the sapphic in me, but both boys interested in Wednesday are just so annoying and kind of super possessive for no reason?
368 notas - publicadas em 23 de novembro de 2022
Meu post nº 1 de 2022
i never thought i would be so invested in a white middle aged texan fireman, but then 911: lone star created judd ryder, future father of a little girl and best husband there is.
786 notas - publicadas em 10 de janeiro de 2022
Veja a sua Retrospectiva 2022 →
#tumblr2022#retrospectiva#Minha Retrospectiva 2022#Sua Retrospectiva 2022 do Tumblr#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review
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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E131 (March 30, 2021)
Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien and Sam Riegel!
Brian points out that a lot of Caleb’s greatest fears have come to pass. Liam: “It’s funny, because he’d kind of believed for a while that those things weren’t going to happen. After a while, he got complacent.” He notes that it was extra wild because everything with Trent popped up again in the midst of that complacency. And how did it feel to be defiant toward Trent? “I think Trent successfully made Caleb question if Caleb really was in control“ at the dinner party. “I feel like anything that I do is part of his plans for me, or is that just gaslighting? I’m legitimately scared of that dude.” Sam: “Of Matt?” Liam: “Sure.” He highlights the disconnect between knowing that the M9 is mechanically powerful and could possibly defeat Trent in a dice-and-stats battle, versus fearing him in a story sense and being convinced he can do almost anything.
Sam, on Luc’s death: “That was brutal, man. Matt Mercer is a-- he hates children! Clearly. He actively sought to kill a child in the campaign in as brutal a way as possible. He hates children and wants them dead. Canon. No, but to RP, that was horrible.” He highlights that so much of Veth’s arc has been about trying to get back to her family. “We had to choose something and we thought we were making the right choice. It was all Veth’s fault, and it was pretty rotten. My heart was beating pretty fast, and I certainly didn’t want to have my son die live on the stream. I don’t know what Veth would have done. That’s the end, that’s over. It’s almost worse than when your own character would die. This is something that would also kill Veth.” After the episode was over: “just shaken. I also didn’t know what to do next! That felt like a turning-point moment for my character, weirdly so close to what we assume to be the end arc of this campaign. I texted Matt later that night and was like, that’s it, Veth’s out, I’m tapping out.”
There’s an interlude in which Sam discovers a new dream to record an episode of this show from his Peloton. Dani informs him that she will not be inviting him back.
On Astrid, Liam: “I literally don’t know what she’s doing. I know that she’s dangerous, she always was ambitious, and there’s not been a moment where Caleb let his guard down with her. He’s not trying to reestablish what they had. He cares for the both of them, for Astrid and Eodwulf. He thinks about it a lot, still. He can’t tell how much she buys into everything that she experienced and is now living as a full-grown adult. He suspects that she’s bought in and is not going to change things, because she believes in the system, as much as he’d like to peel her away. He does believe that they want what’s best for the Empire, and stopping whatever wants to come vomiting out of a hole in the frozen north is good for everyone. And they’re powerful. They’re not trustworthy, obviously. But there’s enough at stake to make it worth it. He could imagine a situation where they fight each other to the death.” He was convinced Astrid was going to stop them when they left the tower and was really shocked when she held back. Sam: “Not me! I’ve trusted Astrid since day one. She’s the greatest! I sent a letter to her, she’s very nice, I think you guys would be a nice couple. I believe every word she says.”
On having to decide on Veth deciding to go off and save the world after Luc’s death. “Like I said, I was ready to be done. And then I decided somewhere in there that that’s not very D&D. So I thought I’d leave it up to somebody else, so I asked Caduceus to decide for me, essentially. She knows she’s putting her other family in danger if she doesn’t go. It’s an impossible choice, you know?” Liam: “I love watching you grapple with it, because you’re a lovely father and love your kids.”
On the Sanatorium, Sam: “That was brutal, man. Matt lulls you into a sense of complacency. We’d forgotten that Caleb was a stone-cold killer! It had been a while since he went on a murder spree. Still got it!” Liam: “I never meant for this character to be perfect sunshine.” Brian: “You don’t say.” Liam: “He’s very not-perfect, and I think in his brain, he was going in with the impression that they needed to get in and get out as soon as possible. The place is crawling with people with magic ability, and I didn’t have faith that we wouldn’t be sussed out or something wasn’t going to blow an illusion.” Everything was about getting out of there as fast as possible.
Did the conversation with Yeza help with Veth’s decision? “First of all, every conversation with Yeza is a beautiful one. Every time she talks to Yeza, it makes her feel good. In some ways, she’s gotten to the point now where she knows Yeza’s going to be supportive, she knows he’s going to allow her to do what she wants, but maybe that’s too much. Maybe she needs to not listen to him, basically, and be like, no, you need to be selfish now, dude, you need to say ‘come home, I’m sick of you leaving’. At a certain point, being supportive can turn into being enabling.”
Cosplay of the Week: Jester in the snow! (liljerbear47, photography by kairiceleste on Instagram)
On Trent’s motivations for chasing Caleb: “I really don’t know. The simplest explanation is to just hammer down the nail that’s sticking up. It has crossed his mind that all high-level wizards are in danger of their own ambition and egos, so it’s occurred to him that Trent might have the same kind of ideas that Halas had in the past, and maybe Caleb was always meant to be another body to jump into. Maybe in some sick, disgusting, twisted way, he wants him to be his successor. I am thinking of the next campaign, without getting too deep in, trying to do something that is much more ride-along. Caleb is very, very specific, and I thought long and hard about all the different pieces on the chessboard for him. For campaign three, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.”
Dani: “Do I need to be keeping lore on your fucking ads?”
On the cursed dagger: “It was a tricky one, because in campaign one, one of the characters was under the influence of a cursed weapon, but it interacted with him and he knew what it was and what it did. And it affected his gameplay as a character. For me, Veth didn’t know what it was, ever. I as a player knew what it was doing, but Veth didn’t know at all. So it was kind of like my dirty, dark secret for many months. I knew this thing was coming perilously close to killing me, but my character didn’t know enough to bring it up to her friends. Nobody ever asked! So I was like, well, I guess this thing’s just going to kill me one day, and it’s kind of going to be a surprise.” Liam: “Sam, you love danger and self-destruction so much, you might as well be Mollymauk.”
On the fight in Yasha’s sequence, Sam: “You gotta put a character in your storm giant creature. It was so fun! It was so great of Matt to involve us in this encounter. It would’ve been fun just to watch, because Matt would have made it amazing and Ashley was sweating bullets, which is always fun to watch.” Sam notes he felt guilty, but Liam was going for the kill. Liam: “Matt’s gotta be careful about giving me that kind of story beat. I do not fucking care, I just fucking flip, I’m like, well, I’m going to destroy you, and I have no qualms about it. It’s too much fun!”
The Beau/Yasha tower date was in part inspired by not being able to give gifts as easily this last year. “This thing that we do together is a gift, but I love finding these moments, like the book for Jester and the tower for Yasha and for Beau. I really just wanted to give both of them a little magic for a night. I wanted them to leave this-- we’re trying to be as entertaining as possible, but shit is having an effect on all of us too, and I wanted them to have an escape, a great place to escape to.”
Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot, plus Marion, Yeza, and Luc! (vocaz on Twitter)
On choosing Essek over Trent, Liam: “It would have been so interesting and awful and great! Essek and Astrid and Eodwulf are everything that Bren used to be attracted to that are terrible for him. Essek, hopefully he can with time find a way out of the hole that he dug himself into, but it was only two months ago where he was found out and his ambitions came crashing down around him. Long-term, I have high hopes for him, but I think it’s going to be hard.” In contrast, Astrid and Eodwulf are still “deep in the shit. It would have been really hard to navigate, but fun to play at the table. We made the right choice with what we went with. Essek’s just getting started, and Caleb doesn’t trust him entirely, because he was burned so hard not too long ago. He’s still more trustworthy than the other three. So it’s the better choice. While Caleb has all these ties on the other side, they’re really fucking dangerous. So if you have to choose, you choose Essek. But fuck that die.” Sam: “Veth, much like Sam Riegel, makes instant decisions about whether to trust someone or not and sticks to it forever. Astrid, 100% trust. Eodwulf, 100% distrust. Essek, completely distrust. I still don’t think he’s a good guy. Ikithon? Trust. 100%. Because you know where he’s coming forward, you know what he wants. I still want him dead, but I trust him.”
On Veth’s post-adventuring plans: “Veth is probably still too in it right now to think about what comes next. I, Sam Riegel, have a good idea of what I want Veth to do post-campaign.” Brian: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell us. Save it for the show!” Sam: “All she knows is she can’t do this anymore. It’s very unhealthy to be battle-wounded every other day. It’s fun for a while, but college has to end at some point, and she’s gotta go home.”
On Frumpkin changing appearance and returning to the Feywild: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but the way it feels now for Caleb is that he feels too enmeshed in everything that has happened, and too much good has happened, and too much needs to happened, that that really narcissistic, selfish goal has the risk of harming everything else, which is more important. And that’s how he looks at it now. So he’s gearing towards letting everything from the beginning of the campaign, and where he started, go, and trying to figure out what use he’s going to be now and what he’s going to do if they’re not all dead. If Matt throws that shit down, I don’t know what I will do, I think about it a lot. But turning Frumpkin white and saying you’re free either way is him preparing to let go of everything he’s been holding on to for a really long time. He’s addicted to that idea that he can fix himself, and we’ll see if that hard choice gets presented, what he might do. But where he stands now, he doesn’t think that’s going to be reality, and he sees a way that he can be of use that he never really anticipated before, so he’s slowly shifting gears towards living with the pain he was trying to remove.”
On the last request scene and confidence heading into Aeor, Sam: “I feel like that’s a good request. I think all of us realized that if we die, that probably bodes badly for the world. I feel like all of us are at a point now as characters and as friends, that the first order of business would be to take care of everybody else’s shit, although we probably have different ideas of how to do that.” Liam: “I want the Empire to be healed, Caleb has all these memories of his parents and what they wanted for the world, and he wants that too. It’s clearly not in place now, the system needs to be broken and replaced. That could be a part of Caleb’s sunset. I don’t want Caleb to die, so maybe he can work on that after. As everything starts to shake out and we start heading towards our destiny, Caleb’s just free-floating. He’s not even going after the same thing he started for. So he’s looking at Veth’s family, and Luc specifically, and seeing that’s me, that’s a little boy in the Empire.”
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Thess vs TLoVM Ep 12
Okey-doke, here we go, finale time! I should note that the only reason I’m able to do this is that I finally have a halfway decent desk chair because this would be painful otherwise and I’d be over on the sofa, whimpering. (I have fibromyalgia and chronic sinusitis, and my neck of the woods has been hit with two back-to-back storms the last few days; the barometric pressure drop triggered both. Yay.) But I do have a halfway decent desk chair, so let’s do this.
Before we even start, who wrote this? Brandon Auman (more Marvel, TMNT, and ... ooh, Star Wars: Resistance!) ... and Sam Riegel. I may have to hug him too.
Oh for fuck’s sake, Percthax.
Go, Cassandra!
Oh, dear. Hello, Craven Edge.
Oh, cutting the intro sequence was a good move.
Ah, Scanlan. He tries. That’s as much levity as they could probably fit into there, what with the desperation and all.
Oh, the fucking GRIN as he puts the mask on is scarier than the fucking mask itself!
Well, it’s about time they figured out that Pike doesn’t talk about shit “clouding people’s souls” like it ain’t no thing. Next time? LISTEN TO THE SERVANT OF THE EVERLIGHT SO DETERMINED TO HELP YOU THAT SHE ASTRALLY PROJECTS TO YOUR LOCATION TO KICK VAMPIRE ASS! ...okay? Okay.
...HOOOOOOOOLY FUCK. I didn’t think “Take the mask off, darling” could get any better but HOOOOOOOOLY FUCK. Also, that takes that “Percy’s shadow pointing the gun to Percy’s head” thing to a whole new foreshadowing place - just not a place Orthax would want it to go. Nicely done, writing team.
And this would be Taliesin’s nat 20 to resist Orthax that ended up with Percy exorcising Orthax through sheer force of will. Which is nice that they did that.
(Also, quick aside for you FFXIV players - when I was first catching up with CR Campaign 1, I’d watched the Orthax thing a couple of months previous and @true0neutral was more or less right in the middle of it right as we were going through the endgame of the MSQ of ARR - so the base game where Taliesin was voicing Thancred. Whose name I struggle to remember because when we found out that Lahabrea was possessing Thancred, and was basically Black Smoke Dude, we remembered what Taliesin said during this whole sequence and said, in unison as we were approaching the Lahabrea boss fight, “...Therapy!” Thereafter, even though Taliesin wasn’t voicing Thancred anymore, we didn’t call him Thancred; we called him ‘Therapy’, in Taliesin’s honour. The fact that Thancred went Gunblade has done nothing to change my mind about that one, even though I don’t play FFXIV anymore.)
Oh, this whole mindscape thing is fucked up and I love it. Give me the symbolism mixed with flashback. If you ever wondered what angst I crave? This. This is it.
Holy HELL they did things with Orthax on the visual end that I hadn’t even considered. I may or may not have nightmares tonight. THANKS FOR THAT.
(No, seriously, thank you. If I worried about nightmares, I wouldn’t fall asleep on the sofa to creepy Korean horror at 3am. Nightmares are fine.)
So ... it’s Matt voicing Orthax, right? ‘Cos IMDB is failing me again. *checks X-Ray View* Yep. Matt. IMDB, GET. YOUR. SHIT. TOGETHER. Matt deserves every single kudos for this. Every last one. He refined that shit since Campaign 1. Seriously. Nightmares.
(My players are probably not thanking you. Nightmares are just another source of inspiration for campaigns for me. My players both like that and really don’t, because that’s the nature of torturing the people you made up inside your head, and then handing those tortured people you made up inside your head over to experts for more torture.)
And the barrel spins and ... ooooooooooooh fucking hell. This got darker than it was originally. And it was fucking dark to begin with. Just the thought of those empty barrels filling with names of his loved ones before anyone else, just because they ‘stood in his way’... AAAAAAAAAA.
Okay, I saw quasi-spoilers about the Desmond thing being a foreshadow but tried not to pay any attention and I see it now and also OWWWWWWWW FUCK. Do you know how many bones he just shattered?!? OW OW OW OW.
“Yes, well, thank you for not dying”. He’s had more arrows in him than a porcupine has quills and was still cracking heads; great line, exactly because of how ludicrous and yet heartfelt it is.
Yeah, they had a ‘violence and foul language’ warning on this. They ... do know that ‘gore’ is a category all its own, right? Just saying - ‘gore’ belongs there. I mean, that’s ... a throat wound. A big one. That only appropriately bled because she’d lost so much to bullet wounds already. I mean, deserved, but DAYUM.
...I wonder what would have happened if Percy had been able to feed Delilah to Orthax? To her various clones, I mean.
Oh, Cassandra, clean off your fucking blade.
Okay, Scanlan, yes - now is the time we need your antics, thank you. I needed that laugh so much.
“Do you know how much that cost? How long it will take me to make ano--” OH SHIT yeah thanks for that. I’m so glad I wasn’t taking a sip of coffee at that point it would have gone entirely down the wrong pipe and I’d have to clean caffeinated bean water with sugar off two monitors, a speaker and probably the carpet.
Oh good, Whitestone has survivors! Does someone want to cut Goliath-Minion down?
Thank you for showing us that Scanlan is an equal opportunity lover! We didn’t have confirmation of that from Sam until the Love Potion Incident! Also OUCH Vax; come on, don’t be a cock-blocker. Lesser Restoration exists for a reason, right?
Aww. “We live as long as Whitestone lives” in a new and ... very good context.
Awwwwwwwwwww. And they managed to get in a reference to “And I walk away”. Ow, though. I mean, ow. Then again, given what’s coming, that ain’t gonna last long.
Okay, we don’t have Keyleth nearly getting her hand ripped off; we have an added warning that didn’t make it to the warning screen. That would not just be ‘violence’ or even ‘gore’. That transcends into fucking ‘body horror’.
N’aww. Just a lot of n’aww.
Oop! I can kind of hear, “Sun-Tree, A-Okay!” in my head. Which is nice. It doesn’t have to be there for me to have it there when appropriate.
Hello, Diplomacy!
Yes, Jarrett. EXCELLENT TIMING. That was gonna get ... long.
Oh gods, GILMORE.
Oh. The proclamation. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Okay, I do like this speech better.
Oh, so they’ll ensure that Emon stands ‘forever’, hmm? Well, Vex’s reaction says you’ve got maybe two more minutes.
So that was an epic shot to end on. Hooooooboy. So clearly we’re going directly into the Chroma Conclave arc for Season 2, then. Like, right the fuck away. Like, immediately. I mean, I guess the Fall of Emon is the ultimate icebreaker. Literally, given Vorugal...
So when’s Season 2 coming out? Well, article on HITC (which lists TLoVM as “anime” which is weird and possibly appropriative but I do know that those genre news sites are a little weird about their categorisation sometimes) says it’s definitely confirmed but no one’s given a date yet. BOO.
So ... that’s the end of that. For now. I want more, but I can be patient. Animators and voice actors and post-production people need time to work. So when I whine that it’s not there yet, I don’t really think they should go faster than they can tolerate; I just ... want it.
And I might talk a little more about specific elements later. Like, in terms of narrative structures, voice acting, etc. But for now I’ll leave it at “thank you for coming to my liveblog, and be grateful that you’re not my neighbour because most of the block-capital HOLY FUCK etc was ... literal. Like, out loud”. Then again, it’s barely gone 8pm and my neighbours across the corridor can suck it up because they keep making our end of the corridor reek of weed so they can handle my profanity.
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My favorite moments from each member of Vox Machina.
Grog
- The whole trash talk pre-battle against Kevdak. Travis WOW.
- "Grand Poobah de Doink of all Thisanthat" and everything that came with that title.
- When he asked Pike to teach him how to read and I ugly cried + "I spend the following years learning how to read" in the epilogue and I also ugly cried.
- “The Grog and Craven Edge show”
- When he was sad because he didn't have a role in Vex and Percy's wedding and then they asked him to be the flower girl and he was.just.so.happy.and.proud.of.himself. “Can I have this job??” Groooog why are you so wholesome :'(
Vex
- "I thought he'd never leave" - No explanation needed
- "I open the door COMPLETELY NAKED" - Behold the supreme queen of powerplays, we are not worthy and we'll never be.
- When she went find Kaylie after Scanlan died and convinced her to go see him + Later when Allura told her the resurrection ritual succeeded and she was so happy but she was all alone in that tavern so she just started buying everyone drinks (and spending money????? !!!!!!) and flirting with people out of habit but then she kinda remembered she was with Percy and backed off and went to sleep, lmao what a journey.
- Her wedding vows. Laura Bailey will you please let me live.
Vax
- The time the Briarwoods caught him spying on them and he serious and genuinely attempted to fuck his way out of there and in all fairness who can blame him. Truly the bisexual representation I deserve, god bless this dumb horny boy.
- GUYS. WHERE. IS. LARKIN!!!
- “let's go, you bastard!” and kissed Percy. Thank you Liam O’Brien for my life.
- He really went straight to Percy’s bathroom and got into the tub with him just to share an awkward silence and tell him that he’s like a brother to him and then showed him his ass as he left. Vax’ildan what the actual fuck, brothers don’t do that kind of shit and you know it, why are you like this!!!
Percy
- *Masterfully parlays with an ancient green dragon and keeps his cool until the very moment she leaves the room. Proceeds to have a panic attack* Also pretty sure he kinda wanted to fuck the dragon. Anyways this scene is sexy af and I stan a badass bitch with severe trauma and valid kinks.
- When he literally inflicted damage to himself with a kettle full of fantasy menthos to win a cannonball contest.
- Wasted! Percy (ft. Keyleth and the weird marquesian drink)
- "SYLAS!!!!"
- This motherfucker, this absolute agent of madness went and signed yet another soul-binding contract with a demon under the galaxy brain reasoning that "I already sold my soul once, so if I sell it again worst case scenario I get to watch 2 demons fighting over my soul and that would be very entertaining" I'm-
Tary
- “It’s going to be FUN, FUN, FUN!”
- Flashcards class with Pike. Just. Amazing. Outstanding. Sam Riegel what you have is called TALENT.
- “...and it was the METRIC SYSTEM!”
- The time Taryon Darrington spent his first night in company of a lady and immediately decided it was going to be the last one.
- His “fuck you dad” speech was absolutely beautiful and his explanation on how Vox Machina showed him what it meant to be a family. Sam you can’t just fucking do this kind of shit to unsuspecting watchers, I’m soft.
Keyleth
- "We are basically gods!" *proceeds to jump off a cliff and die" WE LOVE A DUMBASS QUEEN.
- When she went off on Raishan, just omg Keyleth, the raw power of it all!!!
- "Hey percy you know what would be fun, if I turned into a fucking elephant and you got on top of me so we can go deliver this mask/helmet to Grog in a cool classy fashion. *turns into an elephant* Oh shoot I forgot doors exist, it sure would have been a good idea to polimorph after leaving the room, well whatever, here goes nothing *starts to fucking smash the door with her elephant body* Oh, here comes Grog and Scanlan, hey guys! Wait, why are you attacking me it's me, your good friend Keyleth! Ouch! Ok you know what now I'm pissed, let's fucking go!! If I shall go down in this form so be it. *Rages against Grog and Scanlan and gets fucking decked*
- Keyleth’s epilogue was just beautiful and the perfect way to close the campaign. Much feels. Much cry.
Pike
- *Takes a sip of the weird Markesian drink* "Haha I don't feel anything" *Takes another sip of the weird Markesian drink. Passes out automatically*
- Pike: Maybe we should sleep together and see how it goes
Scanlan: O- OKAY????
Pike: No just kidding lol sorry
- “Guiding bolt up his butt”
- "Sometimes I talk to Scanlan through the earring even though I know he can't hear me" like, Ashley stop. And then she gets drunk and starts actually talking to him like, ASHLEY STOP.
Scanlan
- "You'll leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!"
- "Do you spice?" or "Scanlan spends a whole episode in a quest for drugs. Ends up getting a bag of baking soda for like 400G. Lives with the shame for the rest of his life" Perfect. Spectacular. You just can't write shit this good.
- When he apologizes to Pike for being a fuckboy.
- Every single counterspell this motherfucker has ever casted.
- Basically the whole battle against Vecna was endless epic content from Scanlan.
- You know what, every single Scanlan moment is iconic and we all know it. Let's not pretend we can just pick a few.
#critical role#campaign 1#vox machina#spoilers#grog strongjaw#vex'ahlia#vax'ildan#percival de rolo#taryon darrington#keyleth of the air ashari#pike trickfoot#scanlan shorthalt
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Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (91/?)
[After Sam’s plant romantic intrige skit]
Sam: "That was amazing, Matt. That was amazing."
Matt: "Thank you."
Sam: "You squished five minutes of copy into, like, 40 seconds. That was good."
Matt: "It's no plant fucking, but, you know, I do what I can."
[As they jump off a cliff and Beau uses her dope monk shit]
Liam: "This whole character was just to make up for the fish, wasn't it?"
Marisha: "100%. I will jump off every cliff safely, every time I get an opportunity."
[Essek casting Sending]
Matt: "And as he speaks, you can see the line wiggling, like it's actually picking up a wave of his voice and transitioning it through his Sending spell. This is how he does it."
Yasha: "Wow."
Matt: "Before he releases the tethers in the sides and they fade away like a spider thread in the wind."
Yasha: "I watch them. Wow!"
Liam: "Ours is like the mud road drifter version: [rural accent] I got a bit of copper wire here. Hey, I got some Natty Lights, I'm headed your way."
Matt: "Trucker mage is my favorite archetype of D&D character."
Travis: "This entrance?"
Dagen: "That's right, Dagen's Door."
Liam: "That's what it is."
Marisha: "I don't hate it."
Taliesin: "I've actually got no problem."
Laura: "It's actually kind of nice."
Sam: "Brenatto's Backdoor! Maybe?"
Travis: "We'll have to find that one."
Marisha: "That's the exit strategy."
Travis: "Oh!"
Ashley: "Ayo!"
Ashley: “I would like to rage! WHOFUCKINGDIDITRIGHT? I DID.”
Yasha: "Holy mackerel [crunching numbers on her damage]
Travis: “Take your time. like doing your taxes.”
Travis [voicing Sprinkle]: "Make it end!"
Matt: "Eventually, Veth, you scoot your way back to the rest of the group and you see, as she emerges..."
Marisha: ♪ Scootin' my way back ♪
[As Essek and Caleb face off against the undead giants]
Liam: “It’s just three undead giants and two librarians.”
[Sam not joining in with a regular ‘making my way’]
Matt: “You’re letting me down, man.”
Sam: “I’m just waiting for the more interesting ones.”
Matt: “Oooh he's evolved.”
Travis: “We don’t play on easy anymore. We’re down here slumming.”
Sam: “Next time you say the word ‘shaking’, just get ready. Just get ready.”
Matt: “Every group needs a Sam Riegel.”
Sam: "Okay, now I'll look for good things."
Sam: "28."
Matt: 28.
Ashley: "It's just so much darker in here than I can see, I think, I can't see anything. I couldn't find anything."
Sam: "Well, you're tall."
Ashley: "I'm tall, it's cramped in here."
Marisha: "'I can't see', 'It's because you're tall.'"
Ashley: "The logic is sound."
Travis: "The floor is farther away."
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Mighty Nein ep. 129
“It went a little tits up.” - that is definitely one way to summarize the last episode.
Yasha: “We just think like Caleb, and we can do it!”
Fjord, in a Zemnian accent: “Fire, fire, fire.”
Critical Role, the show where Barbarians are politely raging through dimensional barriers since 2015.
One day some text somewhere will be in Orc, and Fjord will have his moment of glory over the nerds.
I just said I sometimes miss Grog, but like. Fjord, who just forgot to cast his spell before he rammed his forehead into a crystal, is the most adorable dumbass of this campaign, so I don’t miss him too terribly.
Heyyy, Team Happy Funball got out without too many detours! Almost bested by a door until they decided to bring it down with brute force - in true Vox Machina tradition.
“I feel like someone in this campaign stepped out and got instantly squished.“ - rest in peace, Spurt.
I think that was my favourite Matt jumpscare ever.
That staff is already paying off, if only in the sense that every time Caleb uses it, my heart burns with affection to both him and Allura. (Also that soft little, “come on, Ally”. If they’re really in the Plane of Fire, that’s so poetic.)
An angry mother’s double natural 20. It’s been a hot minute since one of these moments. Fuck though. Fuck. Half of 39 might still be more than enough to insta-kill a Halfling child.
That was so bad. It’s always the moments you don’t suspect, right.
If that child had not been saved.
There is something they say about the anger of a gentle man, and I feel like Yeza Brennato is close to his tipping point.
From experience, I know that there is one thing in all of Critical Role that reliably devastates me, and that is when Sam Riegel gets emotional. This proved to be true today once again.
Something happier at the end of the episode: I am currently wheezing at how fucking accurate that slow-motion Fjord impression from Matt was.
#Nane watches CR#hey on a lighter note#if Veth leaves the group to be with husband and kid#I really hope Sam comes up with another troll character#that turns out to be infuriatingly adorable after a couple of episodes#(I am definitely talking about Taryon reloaded)
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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 70
Thursday Night on WEDNESDAY Night this time ... crazy ... with a bit of luck we should be back to NORMAL schedule for next session. In the meantime ...
Matt: "What are you putting on your head, Sam?" Me: "Oh gods ..."
Yeah, this is gonna be so bad. Are we looking at a recipe for motion sickness this time? Marisha: "You're so close to me, stop!" Sam: "The hood is saying I should battle Travis!" Travis: "I will destroy you." Yeah ... Sam: "Laura, maybe you should --" Laura: "Stay away from me, Riegel!" Also yeah ...
Ooh, delicious pastries ... damn you, now I'm hungry again ...
Ah yes, the end of Shithead ... Sam: "That was the first main character death in a long while." XD
Back in Bassuras, then ... okay, what's going on here, then? Oh lovely, more god police, that's lovely, that is. Apparently Vasselheim has come ...
A skyship just BLEW UP? What? I'm sorry, what the actual?
Hmmmm ... is there some casual insurgency going on here right now, perhaps? Interesting.
Ashton: "It looks like we might have walked in in the middle of someone else's issue here." Yeah ...
Issues? Hmmm ... so ARE THERE problems with the skyships or IS THIS some kind of uprising?
Oh yeah, Kimothee Chalamet, of course ...
Kiki bird! Awwwwwww ...
FCG; "When a dead lady's worried about your health you should listen."
AAAHH!!! Fucking crawler! Watch it!
Keyleth going solo ... yeah, I am NOT too confident about that ...
Wait ... is Travis rolling an insight check on the TRESHI BALL? Like a Magic 8 Ball?
Off to Joe's, then ... ah, yeah, still early ...
Trap check? Oh boy ... please don't pull a drunk Nott, Chetney ...
Chetney unlocks the door, then Imogen uses her Mage Hand to open it ... before Laudna has a crack at just SCARING THE FUCK out of Joe ...
Wait ... has something HAPPENED to Joe? Oh fuck ...
Wait ... NINE PEOPLE in here? Crazy ... oh shit, what's THAT?!!! Fuck, emergency dex rolls! Crap!
Awwww ... Chetney protecting Imogen ... which has NO effect on what happens at all ...
Lightning damage? Crap ...
Meanwhile Fearne and Ashton are round the back ... did they just do that to keep from suffering ill effects? Bit sneaky, guys ...
Laudna Spiderclimb! Yay! Always fun ...
Ashton turns his hammer into a platform for Orym to climb over the fence. Cute ...
Ah, an ambush ... of course ... oh, is Joe alive, then? Hmmm ... oh no, more bad guys ... oh no, THERE'S Joe! Phew ...
Stealth good, Orym ...
Back door? Okay, somebody coming ...
Layout? OH YAY!!! Battlemap!
Oh sweet ... Nice place, Joe! And Sam TOTALLY ballses up the plug ... XD
Shield of Help? Nice ... additional AC to Dancer, that's sweet, Letters.
Interpretive dance? Imogen: "Are you confused?"
Yeah, not sure SUMMONING THE BEES is a good idea, Laudna ...
Every time Marisha starts PERCHING I know we're proper in the shit ...
Balls ... here we go all too soon ...
Wait, WHAT?!!! Fuck AND it's a sneak attack? Fuck ... Laudna, NO!!!
Roll for Initiative! YEAH, NO SHIT!!!
Wow, these are some HIGH initiative scores, guys! Is that good? Oh, except for Imogen ... 5? Ouch ...
Dancer rolled a NAT1? Oof ...
Laudna up FIRST? Oh fuck ... yeah, Form of Dread IMMEDIATELY. She is PISSED, clearly ... a FIREBALL?!!! You're sure about that play?
Boom! Crap ... black powder? Oh shit ...
NOW we roll damage? 25 points of Fire damage? Oof ... and ROLL FOR FEAR!!! Yup ...
Yup ... scuttling Laudna for the maximum creep factor ...
Oh, that was almost hairy ...
Whoa, full on MONK SHIT?!!! Great ... that's not good at all ...
Save the mini, Matthew!
Bird skull? DUSKMAVEN!!!
Shield! Nice save, Laudna!
Fucking Paragon's Call! Damn it ...
Fearne does a Mirthful Leap and Travis does a goat bleat ... XD Oh, hello Mister! Oh, she DOES have Sneak Attacks? Hmmm ... but she's already moved ... crap, now she has POPPED HER KNEE!!! Great ...
Okay, flaming monkey shit! Here we go ...
Dragonborn? Okay, then ...
Shit! Sneaky monk ninja shit! Oh fuck ... TWO attacks hit? No, Fearne! Aaaaaargh ...
Here we go, invidible Chetney on the attack! Go, wee man! Blood Curse of Bloated Agony? Here we go ... but NOT invisible now ... balls, znd now he's using the sword for the first time? Hmmmmm ...
The talking sword DISTRACTS Chetney enough to full on MISS the first hit ... but at least the SECOND one hits ... wait, he's CHARMED now? How the fuck ... Chetney, you spawny bastard ...
General Ratanish? Oh fuck ... and HE'S RAGING!!! Shit ...
Fuck, Chetney gets hit BAD ... ouch ...
FCG: "Dancer, hide, use your Pussy for protection if you have to!" Oh my gods ...
Banishment? Fuck, Sam ... Holy shit, Ratanish rolls a ONE for Charisma? Fuck ... yeah, HE GONE ... For a minute. Use it wisely, guys!
Wait ... did they MISS? Oh no, now Chetney's BAKING inside his armour ... 12 points of Fire damage? CRAP!!!
Yes ... get the dick monk, Ashton! CHARGE!!! Advantage since he's Raging ... here we go! Beat that monk ass WHOLESALE, Ashton! Boom! Yeah ... 20 points of damage AND a strength save? Okay ... and he SHOVES her! Okay ... Chaos Burst? Reckless ... whoosh ... POW!!! What's THIS gonna do? 23 points of damage in the back of the head? Ouch ...
Orym is GTAing a crawler? Crazy ... yeah, that didn't work ... and now it's just a fucking TIME BOMB ... rescuing Fearne instead, then ... crap, no hit ... TWICE? Bollocks ...
Scared guy attacks Chetney and HITS?!!! Crap ... strange confusion ensues as the Charmed one PROTESTS ... oh, interesting save ...
Dragonborn attacking Fearne ... oof .. thanks to Orym at least, only SIX points of slashing damage ...
Imogen just PUNTED the monk off the roof? Sweet ... heading in, then ... help Chetney, girl! 4th Level Lightning Bolt? BOOM!!! Not great damage, though ... 10 points only ... nuts ...
Dancer is JOINING the fight? Okay ... oh, SHE'S helping Chetney? Okay then ... Cure Wounds through Pussy 2? Yeah, that causes a lot of unnecessary jokes ... and she's peacing out again ...
Spell Sniper? Oh that's cool ... whatcha gonna do, Dead Girl? She hits one ... but at least it's the one she WANTS ... 12 and 9 damage ... and that's it for the Charmed condition, then ...
Step of the Wind ... AND Flurry of Blows? Crap ... except it MISSES FCG on the first ... but the second hits! Crap ... punted! Ouch ... oh no, the Banishment? Oh thank gods that held ...
Scorching Ray in Melee? Hmmm ... okay, Charm Person instead? Okay ... it works! Nice ... and she STEALS HIS CROSSBOW?!!! Cute ...
Laura thanks Keyleth for leaving just before they REALLY NEED HER ...
Mister's TAKING DAMAGE?!!! My gods, that NEVER happens!
Taliesin: "I have a dumb plan that may or may not work." Travis: "I love those."
A miss on the knife throw ... but it HITS the core? Crap ... and NOW Matt finally crit-fails ... oh my gods that couldn't have happened at a better time ...
"Chetney Tatum"? Yes, that IS terrifying ...
Laura: "God, I hate him! I never thought I'd MISS Craven Edge!"
Chetney gets the HDYWTDT!!! Nice ...
Is there an ON switch? Yeah, dunno if THAT'S a good idea ...
Meanwhile they're all comparing him to a border collie obsessed with the sword ... XD
13 points restored from a Healing Word on Chetney? Nice save, FCG! Then he goes to attack the monk with thesaw blade ... AND HITS!!! Nice ... Divine Smite? Sweet ... 14 damage! Sweet ...
Shit, Chetney's STILL burning? Crap ...
4th Level Erupting Earth? What? Oh dear gods ... oh, that's NOT NICE!!! THREE of our group take hits? Crap ...
Oh balls ... goodbye Banishment ... oh no, scratch that, it succeeds after all? DON'T SCARE US LIKE THAT, Matthew!
Turns out the monk is a SMEAR now ... Nice ...
Ashton going crazy to rescue Fearne ... yay! Batter him, mate! Nat20! Sweet ... Crusher? Oooooh ... a BRUTAL Critical? Nice ... I love when he has to math it up, means it's gonna be SO HIGH ... 33 damage? Fuck ... AND he rolls ANOTHER Nat20 on the second attack! 28 AND pushes them back ... oh yeah, that REALLY fucking hurt, clearly ... Ashton, you scary sometimes and I love it ...
Orym is ONCE AGAIN gonnatry and steal the crawler? Hmmmm ... okay, yanks the guy out instead ... ties him to the crawler? Hmmm ... what ARE YOU doing, Orym? He keeps CRITTING the bike ... and a TRIPPING attack? Marisha: "Can you also steal the bike's lunch money?" LOL
Oh fuck, that worked ... and that guy just gets BLOWN THE FUCK UP!!! Nice ...
Oh I love that ... he gets out but then the second one FALLS ON HIM?!!! Oh yeah, Dragonborn is SO DEAD now ...
Oof ... that's 15 slashing damage against Imogen? How dare you, sir?
Laura asks how high the ceiling is? Hmmmm ... oh, okay, yeah ... "That's telekinesis, Kyle!" XD She just SLAMS the guy into the wall AND dumps him into the fire ... 22 damage! Nice ...
Pussy 2 and Shocking Grasp? Oof ... miss? Crap ... anticlimax!
Spell Sniper again, this time on the caster ... Eldritch Blast and A NAT20! NICE!!! And another hit! POW! And again, BOTH hit again ... yeah she is just POURING hits down on this fucker!
Armour of Agathis! Sweet ... and now she BOOTS the door open! Okay, then ... looking for Joe? That won't work ... so she sends Mister to Joe instead, but not enough movement to make it ... do he just chucks some more flaming shit instead. 12 fire damage AND MISTER GETS THE HDYWTDT?!!! Nice ...
Oh that's just ... he shoots the flaming shit IN THE GUY'S MOUTH ... fuck ... exploding head ... charming ...
Chetney bursts in ... "Hi!" Yeah, that WOULD be terrifying ... and bang ... oh yeah, this guy just gets SPLATTERED!!! Nice ...
Blood Curse of Bloated Agony on the caster? No they're too far away ... crap ...
Mass Healing Word at FIFTH Level! Okay ... everybody gets 10 points back ... Nice one, Letters!
And the Bolt Thrower at the caster ... DOUBLE crit-fails? FUCK!!! It just misfires entirely ...
The caster POLYMORPHS into a big fucking bird and grabs Joe and the other guy? Not fair! Attack of Opportunity! Turn this around! Come on Fearne ...
Moon sickle ... okay WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT RIGHT NOW? ONE POINT OF DAMAGE? SERIOUSLY?
At least it's now STUCK IN THE DOORWAY!!! Try again, people? Go, Ashton! Oh, BOOM!!! 23 points of damage! And yet it STILL keeps flying ...
Reckless, and he jumps, WORMHOLE STRIKE?!!! 22 points of damage? The bird pops and ... now EVERYBODY IS FALLING ONTO THE BROKEN FENCE!!! Matt: "And THAT'S where we're gonna go to break!"
And we're back! With Joe Bout to DIE!!! Do something, Ashton! Violent Gateway? Oh fuck ... and he has NO CHOICE in this ... SHIT!!!
Yeah, again this is just CHAOS ... Ashton catches Joe, now Orym's trying to do the same with the other guy ... but he's just a little guy! Is this even gonna work?
15? Hmmm ... 60 feet up ... oh boy ... Bait and Switch ... oh shit, so now ORYM is falling on the fence instead! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Imogen trying to grab them both with her telekinesis ... CAN SHE grab both since Orym has hold of them? Fuck ... wow, oh ... no, instead she's just SHOVING THE FENCE AWAY instead ... so they just crumple and roll instead ...
And now the caster is KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!! Okay ...
So 40 seconds before Ratanish reappears ... TIME TO RUN!!! GO NOW!!!
The other one's a Lagamore? Bunny guy! Okay ...
Oh, they're gonna fight after all? Okay ...
FCG heels Joe a little. It's appreciated ...
FCG: "Dancer, you wanna come smash this guy with your Pussy?" Wow ... Samuel ...
Chetney is holding Inflict Wounds, Imogen's prepping Psychic Lance ... here we go ...
So we're ready?
Oh, so Laudna's summoning her Hound as well. It just DROPS from the ceiling and splats before reforming ...
Ratanish reappears ... and they all go OFF!!!
Chetney unleashes, Laudna casts Blight, FCG casts Scramble the Dead(with modem noises?), Fearne casts Scorching Ray for 3 hits but only ONE actually hits ... plus Mister chucks more flaming shit! Imogen looses her Lance, so he is INCAPACITATED as well as hurt! Orym just slashes at his weapon arm, which he fails so he drops his axe, then stabs him in the leg ... znd THAT'S IT!!! That's the HDYWTDT!!!
Wow, he DROPS Ratsnish so he falls at Ashton's feet ... who just delivers the coup de grace upon him in beautiful style! Nice ...
Well that's that on Ratanish, then ... oh, and the druid failed all his death saves too ... charming ...
Okay, here come Joe's neighbours to check on him ... oh yeah, nice save there, Joe! Way to cover for us ...
Oh, the lagamore is a woman? Okay. Who's this then? Verna the Viper? Interesting ...
So Ashton already knows of her? Okay ... specialises is strange esoteric explosives? Intriguing ...
Don't forget to loot the bodies! Laura is INSISTING!!! Ms Bailey, your Vex is showing again! :3
Oh, spoils! Goody!
Yay! Laudna gets some new bones! XD
They show Joe the harness and Verna is intrigued too ... oh, so they've been put to work by Ratanish after the Solstice? Hmmmm ...
A Brumestone nullifier? Gods ...
TRAVIS GETS A WHISPER!!! What is he learning?
They have a Whisper Sponsor now? Beard Sorcerer? What the hell, Sam?
Wow, cool go-bag, Joe! Yup, time to go! Need to go!
Oh yeah, need to meet Keyleth! What now, then? Need to move ...
Verna know the All Minds Burn? Intriguing ...
Fearne is STEALING SHIT on the way out just like you'd expect her too ... meanwhile Laudna creates a nightmare fuel booby-trap for whoever's coming ...
So where to? Hondir's place? Might be smart ...
Group Stealth Check ... with Pass Without A Trace ... HOT TABLE!!!
Wait, so is Hondir not here either? Hmmmmm ... yeah, he's gone, clearly. Just squatters ... crap ...
So they're staying anyway? Okay ... just resting then while Joe and Verna continue their inspection of the harness ...
Oh, so this would likely NOT be safe to use? Hmmm ... so it's gonna be a question of supplies and equipment ... where to go, then?
More Timothee Chalamet jokes ... XD
Calloway ... oh, so Verna knows Fearne's folks? Interesting ... but perhaps not surprising.
Short rest! Yay!
Residuum? Do they have any left? Hmmm ...
Two weeks ... sounds fair for such a specific job ... OH YEAH!!! Send them to Whitestone! Yes! Percy! Are we poking fun again?
Reverse the Funnel to siphon the power OUT of Ludinus? That's really smart ... would that work?
Is Laudna flirting with Verna a little bit?
"Suck in moon power?" That's a ... worrying idea ...
Ashton and Imogen sneak out to look for Pocket. Asking around ... Persuasion check? With gold for advantage ... nuts, they've gone underground. That complicates things ...
Weird shit? Oh ... yeah, I thought that would be it ... yeah, off to the All Minds Burn ...
Ashton: "Try not to read anybody's mind." Yeah, that is REALLY sound advice here ...
Oh, is this a goliath? Shady Sally? Oh boy ... apparently THIS is a name from Ashton's past ...
Debts to settle? Oh, that doesn't sound good ...
I see ... so she's one of Ashton's old crew, who abandoned him near death ... and he hits her! Okay ... and she catches it. Okay ...
Here we go ... and she FUMBLES completely! Oh boy ... Ashton just flips her on her arse.
Justi! Hey! I love this creepy bitch so much ...
So Ashton is proposing they clear their debt to him by getting the Nobodys back together to help fight against the Ruidus shit ...
Yeah, clearly NONE OF THEM are up to fucking with what Ashton has in HIS mind ...
Ashton's never been this deep in here? Oh, that's worrying ... and masks? Great ... not a scary sign at all ...
Oh yeah, this place is ALL KINDS of wrong ...
She lowers her defences a tiny bit ... a Wisdom save? FUCK ... oh yeah, this is some SCARY ARSE LOVECRAFT SHIT right here ...
"Pus coloured"? For fuck's sake, Matthew ...
A mass of organic matter ... oh boy ...
Yeah, I'm just watching Travis this whole time and he is NOT ENJOYING THIS AT ALL ...
THIS is the All Minds Burn? Oh my gods ...
Fuck ... Imogen, are you SERIOUSLY actually trying to COMMUNICATE with this nightmare fuel?
Ashton admits that his mind would hurt them without him meaning to ... that is interesting in a really worrying way ...
Imogen's memory lane ... sweet experiences intermixed with her most awful moments ... fuck ...
Whoa ... it wants to see the moon? Intriguing ...
The Brood Pit? Dear fucking gods ... "It wants to be seeded." Okay ...
So the idea is, if they go to Ruidus, they take this with them and leave it up there ... riiiiiiiiiight ...
Justi: "It means no harm, it's just ... lonely." Okay then ...
Imogen: "Well, that is NOT what I expected it to be." You don't say, luv ... yeah, Imogen, you really do make some very strange friends sometimes ...
Ashton: "I've spent my entire life taking up space and being ignored, and I've learnt that it's the things you ignore that get you in the end."
Laudna: "It's happened! Ashton's finally abducted Imogen!"
I love how much Imogen is geeking out telling Laudna about what she's just experienced, it's absolutely adorable ...
Stealth check with Pass Without A Trace ... and Marisha still completely TANKS her roll ... blimey ...
SQUIRREL KIKI!!! It's got antlers and everything! Adorable!
The Bloody Bridge? Yeah, that fits ...
So it's chaos, then? Sounds like business as usual in Exandria again.
Yes. Whitestone is the smart move here. Do that.
Introducing Keyleth proper to Joe, Verna and Dancer. Okay ...
Jirana the Shore Shrew ... "Shoo shoo shoo" .. Matt: "I will murder you all." XD
Cool! Tree portal! Always fun ...
Yes! Get in there quick! Go! Stop with the advice Kiki! They go through ... and THAT'S IT for tonight!
#critical role#crit role campaign 3#crit role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#campaign 3 episode 70#matt mercer#marisha ray#laudna#travis willingham#chetney pock o'pea#laura bailey#imogen temult#liam o'brien#orym of the air ashari#ashley johnson#fearne calloway#taliesin jaffe#ashton greymoore#sam riegel#fresh cut grass
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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E79 (Oct. 1, 2019)
Good evening, all; sorry for the delay! @eponymous-rose is off in heckin’ Bavaria, so those of us left behind must make do on our own. Tonight’s preshow: a beautiful Jester sculpt made by @ohpleasestopit.
Tonight’s guests: Liam O’Brien & Laura Bailey.
Tonight’s announcements: Brian will be moderating a panel called Roleplaying a Human with Mica Burton at NYCC this Thursday. Clint McElroy from TAZ, Joe Starr, and others (many others) will be there as well. Oct. 3 at 12:30pm in room 1A21. No CR this week due to ComicCon; they’ll airing a oneshot dmed by Sam instead. Brian, Liam, & Laura share difficulties spelling each other’s names (Riegel? Reigal? Rie-gel?) and I’m infinitely relieved. They also just took Travis through the haunted house they promised after reaching the secret stretch goal for the Kickstarter & filmed it, so that will be airing Thursday, Oct. 10 on the Youtube channel! Brian’s happy he seemed genuinely terrified in some parts; “when he wants to move quick, he can.”
Episode 79: Through the Trees
CR Stats: Fjord cast his 100th Eldritch Blast. Liam has received 5 whispers this campaign. The natural 1 perception check into the tree camp was the 1000th natural one this game. The longest peer combat this campaign was 9 rounds against Oban. The only encounters longer than one in-game minute were crossing the Gibbering Chasm and escaping from Gelidon.
Caleb empathizes with Yasha because they’ve both “had their heads scrambled a bit.” He also thinks her muscle would be useful, as well as finding they have a lot in common despite not talking much this campaign. He thinks it’s also in part because they’re a bit lost in their planning stages now.
Jester finds it heavy scrying on Yasha because she’s the only one truly seeing everything. She found it encouraging that Yasha is still trying to fight. She doesn’t think Greater Restoration will be enough to break his hold. Brian tells us Ashley is fully caught up on the show right now and is VERY excited to get back.
Caleb feels like the M9 have been “eating shit” lately. Every plan seems to go wrong; they feel frustrated as players too. Liam: “They are not the Elite Seal Team Six, you know? They’re still scrappy assholes. They’re dealing with things that are so much bigger than them; let’s just focus on this one thing--“ Laura: “--and it’s still too big for us, you know? As players we know we’re going in over our head, but as characters you have to go after your friend, right? That’s hard because I know if dice rolls had gone differently, we could have come out on top.” They do think something good will come out of this struggle, though, even if it’s hard when your characters aren’t heroes.
They’ve spent way longer as the M9 to get to this level vs. VM.
Caleb’s more physical connection with Essek this episode had nothing to do with the whisper. Caleb felt he was a bit put-out, and he was just trying to connect. He does think Essek is “fun” in his own way with the M9.
Jester was more cautious this episode because both she & Cad were almost completely out of heals & revivifies. “It just didn’t seem smart to rush in.”
Liam started to really worry when abandoning the circle in order to help everyone else; he’d checked with CR Stats and discovered that very few encounters had gone long enough for the plan to work, so he made the split-section decision to abandon it and help in a manifest way instead.
Cosplay of the Week: A gorgeous Cad by LizardKingCosplay. Laura: “Man, Taliesin’s designs are always so fucking extra.”
Jester wants to bring joy to people; at the same time, she realizes people think she’s naive. She’s at the point where she wants people to look at her and see her in the way they see other adults.
Laura thinks Essek should have stayed and helped a little instead of leaving. Dani: “It’s not my fault; it’s the NPC’s.” Liam talks about feeling so competent after the dragon only to have this other task fail very visibly in front of Essek.
Caleb was frustrated about the counterspell issue, but recognizes it was an artifact of how chaotic that fight got. “It’s like Jenga. It’s what happens.”
“We’re not pushing Travelercon.” If the time comes & the M9 are not where Jester needs them to be, she will probably leave the M9 to go to Travelercon.
Liam talks about how Laura loves to mess with Travis and make him think there are ghosts or that the people he’s talking to are not real. Dani tells us of a recent incident where Travis was bent down talking to a little girl, and Laura walked up and said, “Baby, who are you talking to?” It is hilarious.
Caleb held up his other book during the banishment because it was something he believed the creature would find offensive, like a crucifix to a vampire. Laura is delighted at this coy drop.
Fanart of the Week: @lissinatorr with an awesome M9 portrait in their new costumes.
While it feels a little different now, throwing Guidance around as much as Jester does right now reminds her of her childhood, where he was more accessible.
Brief divergence where everyone talks about accents, and Laura tells us the best advice JB Blanc (Laura’s dialogue coach in Unchartered) gave her was to do it with confidence.
Caleb looked for information about the Traveler because he wants to make sure Jester will remain safe & that she’s not tied to something dangerous.
Jester had tutors growing up because Marion wanted her to be cultured, but Jester never had interest in going to school. In Laura’s backstory, when Jester was tossed out of Nicodranus, she was given thousands of gold that she immediately blew “on carriage rides, on clothes for her horse--she wanted them to have matching dresses!” Laura assures us she is not nearly so profligate with money in her real life.
Neither Laura nor Liam knows what Essek wants from them, but Liam wonders if it will be something directly related to the war; “go here and kill these orphans, etc.” Laura just wants to have a fully good NPC on their side.
The only way to deal with their current defeats is to recognize it as characters and move forward from that.
Laura talks about how everyone in the M9 has doubts about their NPCs because everyone’s background involves them being betrayed. She talks about how in RPGs some decisions can be difficult to make because they can’t see if innocent people will be harmed. They feel like they’re walking a tightrope. Liam says it feels like they’ve been totally self-consumed so far and that it’s going to be a change when a bigger crisis truly demands their attention.
And that’s all for tonight! Is it Thursday yet?
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Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E65
Why no one started singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G tree song during this episode, I have no idea. Thank you to @alarnia and @softazelma for helping with data entry. Masterpost here.
+500 to Liam O’Brien/The Sympathy Vote If anything, the investigative report humanized the man, what with his agonized expressions, the hard choices he’s making, the deals, trying desperately to hold onto his friendships. Sam Riegel seems like a robot in comparison, with very long bits. #VoteWithYourJohnson #LiamForPresident
-100 to Marisha Ray/Trustworthiness as the person in charge of the investigation into Liam O’Brien’s campaign, we expect a certain amount of clearheadedness and integrity, which does not include getting high before giving testimony. Fire her from the case! #VoteWithYourJohnson #LiamForPresident
+23 to Jester/Yasha for an adorkable conversation about Yasha’s hard rock harping career, using the imagination to handle hard feelings together, as all good Jester ships should. The offer to wipe Yasha’s memory again if there’s anything she doesn’t want to know or remember #ThatsLove, and Yasha channeling Jester’s slightly unhinged love of animals and peacemaking by speculating they could offer the udak some scritches to quell its murderous impulses. Yasha quoting Jester only about 500 times a day, worshipping the ground she walks on, believing she has the power to heal the grass, and then placing that grass into her pressed flower book to remember the moment with #ArtisticSolidarity.
+31 to Beau/Yasha, with a few Battle Aftercare Points for Yasha helping up Beau after the fight, and for an even more emotionally charged watch conversation that resulted in a Ljore Drop from Beau. Talking about past loves and betrayals, the “types” that Beau prefers. Yasha appreciating Beau’s lack of judgment, Beau only slightly ineffectively wielding her I’m-Horrible-Too trump card, Yasha saying she’s “seen” Beau “a lot.” Floating the idea that it is actually possible to move on from Zuala’s death. Beau offering to help Yasha dig up the body, because that’s not weird at all, That’s Love. Darlings. Points taken away because the focus of the conversation was almost entirely on other people they love and have loved, and Jester, which brings us to…
+10 to Beau/Yasha/Jester, as in the launch of the second major intra-party poly ship in the shipping calculus lab, we have two wlw who spend a substantial amount of their Lesbian Bonding Time just talking about how beautiful and perfect and incredible Jester Lavorre is. Fuck Caduceus, this Literal Saint walking amongst them can heal grass with her spit and her “radiant glow”. With the same logic, we can expect that her toenails cure poison, her kiss brings you back from the brink of death…Also, Jester lending Verbal Support to Yasha’s physical support after the gloomstalker battle, as Beau wrestles with embarrassment over not having done anything
+10 to Caleb/Fjord/Jester as our second poly ship gains points with Caleb saving both Fjord and Jester from plummeting to their deaths and Fjord taking the chance to thunderstep them both up the tree again!
+17 to Jester/Fjord but as usual, Fjord’s contribution to the Rescue-the-Jester operation looks a lot flashier, so he gets more of the Romance Credit. Not only that, but many points for a competitive tree-climbing adventure straight out of a romance novel where Fjord’s Need To Impress The Love Interest gives him enough adrenaline to actually beat out Jester on athletics, swinging her up safely into the branches like a magical green Tarzan. Fjord (and Beau) being lovingly sketched in Jester’s book so she can remember the moment forever. Excellent Battle Couple vibes in distracting and shooting down gloomstalkers while on the moorbounders, not once but twice. Fjord also made an admirable attempt to Rescue-the-Jester during the first gloomstalker attack, but Caduceus got +6 to Cockblocking for immediately assassinating the charmed gloomstalker before Fjord’s spell did any good. Fjord yelling at Nott for not listening to Jester. Plenty of point loss, however, because Fjord is never going to learn to love Jester’s animals, losing his cool and yelling about what her “fucking animal is doing” STOP, Fjord.
+5 to Jester/Caduceus, for the aforementioned gloomstalker assassination, and being #Blessed alongside Yasha and Fjord, but point loss for Caduceus rolling his eyes at Jester’s well-meaning attempt to spit the grass to life and saying “that’s not how it works,” saying “that’s not how it works” about the scrying despite having never succeeded in doing it himself, and for Jester insisting that the massive tree is an evil “vampire tree,” much to Caduceus’ dismay.
+15 to Caduceus/Arts-n-Crafts for sweetly weaving a sunhat for Yasha while everyone else does dumb shit like nearly getting themselves killed, damaging a holy tree and antagonizing the largest bird of prey in several miles’ radius. He’ll probably sit through whatever encounter happens next week continuing to weave that hat.
+20 to Sam Riegel/Heatstroke as he responds to Concerns over his sweating and over-warm getup by putting on more layers. I’d expect a President with some more self-preservation in him, but if he offs himself with poor costuming choices at least he’ll be taken out of the running, am I right? #VoteWithYourJohnson #LiamForPresident
+16 to Beau/Jester They also earn many Battle Points, as Jester sends her nastiest Guiding Bolts (according to Sam Riegel, an expression of love) rocketing towards the gloomstalker attacking Beau. Beau instantly thinking of Jester’s skill with art and asking her to copy the map, and Jester adorably sketching Beau as one of her favorite people up in the tree, besides thinking that Beau’s tree climbing skills are Incredibly Impressive, and sneaking alongside her and Fjord to get a better look at the roc nest. Point loss for Beau saying Jester’s map was “garbage” which, even though Beau meant the map itself and not Jester’s skill in copying it, Jester still took personally.
-10 to Caleb/The Mission as he confesses to “losing faith” during watch with Nott, feeling like they’re failing and they don’t know what they’re doing.
+25 to Caduceus/The Mission as despite the Wildmother telling him Things He Did Not Want To Hear during his Communing session, Caduceus gets a massive, massive sign he’s going in the right direction in the form of Melora’s tree, and a detailed vision of all the places he’s expected to go to when he sleeps that night.
+19 to Caduceus/Nature as Caduceus plays around in the dirt, pokes at some interesting moss for several minutes, and gets to hang out, utterly smitten with a massive tree that is the best thing ever look at it.
+4 to Caleb/Fjord as no one listens to Fjord’s desire for a short rest, and even his puppy eyes directed at Jester is not enough to sway them, until Caleb catches on to Fjord’s plight and uses his #ItPaysToBeADamselInDistress power to say he wants a short rest, and shift the party to his favor. Caleb wanting some light to read his now-apparently-waterproof book for the Tiny Hut, and Fjord eagerly offering to cast a spell to make Caleb and everything around him darker. It’s the thought that counts? Point loss for Fjord ignoring Caleb’s advice against antagonizing the chasing gloomstalkers.
-2 to Caleb/Cat-Shaped Creatures as asking Frumpkin-the-Vulture with his razor claws to knead and drape himself on people is not nearly as comforting as actually having a real-life cat do it. However, +10 to Caleb/Vulture Culture for that and for turning himself into a huge bird of prey to cart Nott around.
-5 to Jester/Cat-Shaped Creatures (also -5 to Jester/Pets) as despite attempting to comfort Yarnball after the first gloomstalker fight, Yarnball remains spooked enough to break formation when they encounter them again, at which point Jester channels Alison Hargreeves vibes by lying and using mind control to get the poor thing back in line.
-4 to Fjord/Caduceus as Fjord gets a special, potentially life-saving visit from the Wildmother in his dreams, delivering him for the moment from Uk’otoa….and repays her by fucking up one of her most sacred places on the planet with repeated wood-shattering Thundersteps. Caduceus can’t watch.
-40 to Fjord/Uk’otoa as Uk’otoa now has a schedule of bothering Fjord every one to two weeks. I shudder to think how Uk’otoa is going to react once the Wildmother can’t protect Fjord anymore, now that he’s escaped from their clutches once.
+1 to Fjord/His Inner Bard for motivational rapping of...questionable quality
+3 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caleb very sweetly refuses Caduceus “wasting” his light spells on him, asks him about his feelings towards the tree. Caduceus looking to Caleb before anyone else to see if investigating the turtle shell is a good idea.
+4 to Nott/Jester as Nott offers some excellent advice on how to get ones’ way—ask the same question over and over again until you get the answer you want, and if that fails, do what you want anyway. Jester being the Most Concerned with Nott’s drinking, and alongside Caleb successfully steering her away from a suicidal (though heroically romantic) standoff against the gloomstalkers. Nott helping Jester and the others float safely down, and instinctively trying to save Jester and Fjord during their first fall. Bonding over an appreciation for big square dicks, which would only, and I mean only count for point gains between these two individuals. Point loss for Nott calling Jester “crazy” and saying she’ll scar Luke for life, which is probably just a deflection but a hurtful one. Jester catching Nott after she fails to climb the tree and just barely managing to stop herself from being negative and saying “Good effort!” instead, because Jester can’t help but feel like it’s her job to Be Encouraging.
+30 to Nott/Keeping It Together Maybe as she’s totally fine, she’s just going to drink a lot and nearly kill herself trying to stand off against the gloomstalkers and go stealthing alone in the middle of the night and rip the heart out of her enemies—she’s fine guys. It’s all under control
+2 to Clerics/Loneliness, as both Jester and Caduceus are abandoned to take a watch alone. Even so, their love for the others shines through, with Jester phoning up Kiri, and Caduceus preparing breakfast for everyone.
+1 to Caleb/Jester as Caleb tries to gently defend Jester to Nott, a few different times—a difficult thing, to dissuade Nott of anything!
+25 to Nott the Best Detective Agency/Detective Work and Beau/Nerdom as Beau is the one to find the map of the area to have Jester copy, alongside Nott’s excellent vision catching Melora’s tree at a distance. Then, Nott’s investigation of the tree alone demonstrating Admirable Detective Curiosity, while Beau is the only person to recall exactly what the tree is and its significance to the Wildmother and the Calamity. Jester finding their target running his hands along some mountain in the Prenumbra Range, looking for the correct place to put the emblem that he bought from the scout courier.
+3 to Essik/The Mighty Nein as he is “proud” that they’re hanging out cheerfully in the middle of the Badlands. At this point Essik seems to have just accepted that they’re a dumpster fire and has resolved to pat them on the head so long as they do the bare minimum and keep themselves alive. A few days from now they’ll give him a call from the bottom of the ocean, yes yes that’s very good children, we’re very proud of you here and that’s what I’ll tell anyone who asks because it’s not like I staked any part of my reputation on backing you to the Bright Queen or anything.
#fjorester#beauyasha#beaujester#lavorregard#bashter#widofjorester#widofjord#fjorclay#nott the best detective agency#widojest#jestasha#critical role#cr spoilers#clayleb#shipping calculus#late and lacking in jokes because I've been busy feeling sad about pirates#and work#clayvorre
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Okay, but all silliness aside: I owe a ridiculous amount to Critical Role. Or, more specifically, to having found CR when I did. I came in around the beginning of the second campaign, and I had no idea what this thing was. I didn’t know a damn thing about D&D. I didn’t watch gamers stream. I think I’d been on Twitch a handful of times to watch Jim Lee draw, and that was...it.
I came into Critical Role having seen a handful of gifs on my dash from people whose opinions I trust, and I realized Ashley Johnson was involved. That was my full base of knowledge: Ashley “hey, I know her from Recess/Growing Pains, I like her” Johnson was the whole deal. And that could have been a breaking point early on, because the first thirty episodes of Campaign 1 are a little rough if you don’t know what you’re getting into. The audio is questionable in places, it can be hard to track what’s going on, there’s the whole...obvious cast issue. And if you came in knowing only Ashley, you didn’t even get that lifeline the whole way through.
But here’s the thing: this was 2017? I had just gotten married, and while I married the love of my life, who I had been engaged to--we originally had a slapdash courthouse wedding the day after the election, because it was the only safety net we could grab hold of. At least it would be a legal marriage, in case something really cataclysmic happened before our actual wedding date. I was obsessively refreshing six different news sites every hour while at work, and falling down the darkest political rabbit holes on Twitter every night. I was have terror dreams of nuclear fallout and panic attacks over climate change...and, on top of all the fear and the anger broiling in me, my dysphoria was getting worse by the day. My anxiety. My depression. I was sinking. Fast. So I did the only thing I know how to do when things get truly bad inside my head.
I hid inside stories.
Namely, I hid inside Critical Role. The new campaign wasn’t quite on its feet yet, so I went back and started with Vox Machina. I went into these 3-5 hour episodes, letting them play in the background at work, letting these people I did not know or even really get yet into my head. And, at first, it was just the fascination of the concept. A long-form narrative built by upwards of 8 people, all sitting around a table, just...improvising. Not an inch of that is the way I tell stories, so it was brilliant and baffling, and curiosity had me straight out the gate.
And, if it had just been the concept, that still might not have been enough to hold my attention. If it had just been the idea of it, it might not have been loud enough to drown out the voices in my head telling me the whole ship was going down, that there was no hope, that there was no point in even getting up in the morning to face more bullshit.
But...it was Matt Mercer. Matt, with such an incredible array of characters and maps living inside his head, who could so easily have been That Guy--the English Major Asshole who knew he was smarter than everyone in the room and played it up--and instead chooses to be so kind. So utterly engrossed in the desire to give everyone a seat at the table, to let everybody into the narrative he’s weaving. It takes a certain kind of person to not only write the sort of stories he invents for CR, but to be open enough to lean back and let other people take the wheel every night, and to roll with whatever comes his way.
And it was Travis Willingham. This huge dude who had to sit at the edge of the table because he was all muscle and thumping energy, who I kept expecting to be tight-lipped and brewing with that toxic masculinity judgment straight dudes are taught to value--and, instead of even a modicum of that, he was so excited. So invested in these characters and this game, in these friends, in playing the wisest dumbass ever to cross a screen. Travis, who hugs his male friends, and doesn’t pull the no-homo card, and stans his wife with such delight, there is no way you can watch even half an episode without falling in love with their love.
And it was Liam O’Brien, who could have played the arrogant Cool Dude, and instead leaned so hard into having fun with his place at the table. Into deep-cut jokes, and his love for his friends, and such an affinity for Laura that I genuinely believed they were siblings. Liam, who wears his soft heart on his sleeve, and understands that sometimes the best way through tragedy is to weave it into a story, to let that be a kind of therapy among friends.
And it was Taliesin Jaffe. Tal, who is just gonna be him, and not even fuck you if you don’t like it--he doesn’t even seem to notice. Tal, who is physical with his friends, and who laughs with his whole body, and who has the quickest one-liners in the world one minute and “life needs things to live” the next, and who just is such a joy to watch as he immerses himself at the table. He’s gonna have his hair, and he’s gonna wear mismatched socks, and he’s gonna paint those nails, and love his people, and inspire everyone around him to do the same.
And it was Sam Riegel, who--I’ll be honest--I didn’t get for a while. He was hilarious, and he was a quick-draw, and I loved his songs, but I didn’t understand how much he cared, how truly in it he was. Sam has said he’d do anything to make these people laugh, and I don’t think everyone realizes just how valuable it is to have someone who understands the need of a good laugh in a bad situation. Sam lights up the table in the strangest, silliest ways--but he also brings some of the most vital human moments to the story.
And it was Laura Bailey, who was just so...warm, it bleeds straight through the screen and envelopes me every time I watch her play. Vex is cool as shit on the surface, but Laura is so full of affection, so quick-witted, so hugely into this game that she transforms herself utterly when she plays. Laura comes to the table to play with everything she’s got, and she’s so honest when she does it. Impeccable voice work one minute, flirtatious wink the next, and then she’s dying laughing at a dick joke. It’s so open, it’s impossible not to love.
And it was Marisha Ray. Marisha, who took so much shit, and came out the other side standing taller than ever. Marisha, who commits wholeheartedly in voice, in affectation, in climbing up on her chair or lunging backward out of it. From day one, I was rooting for Marisha--I was inspired by Keyleth getting to grow up onscreen, as I’ve been invested in Beau slowly cracking open and letting herself shine out from the spaces she’s spent so much time shoring up. She loves these characters like true friends, and she loves her people, and she loves her husband, and she loves this craft to such a degree, I want to quit my job and come work for her instead. There’s such a strength and a dignity to her that I find myself needing to be stronger, too.
And, of course, it was Ashley Johnson--deceptively sweet, intensely funny, so much tougher than she looks, and when she turns up in a game, the affection could fill a stadium. Ashley being in town or on Skype for a game is like coming into a party and finding a friend you hadn’t gotten to hang out with in six months waiting for you. Everything just feels brighter with her in the game.
And it is a game, and it is a story, but the family these people have built--people I’ll likely never meet, people who live on the opposite side of the country--is somehow big enough to let complete strangers bask in its reflected glow. I built a habit of listening to CR at work...and then talking about it to my wife, with all the hyper-fixation glee I can’t help when I fall in love with something...and then I was putting it on at home so she could fall in love, too. I was putting on Talks or Between the Sheets while I ran on the treadmill, or when I needed to focus on a project. I put on episodes I’d already seen when I was sad, or when I was lonely, or when I just needed something to fill the silence and keep the darkness in my head behind a wall. For two years, I’ve gone back to these people again and again. To the silly videos. To the serious conversations. To the Twitter feeds and the fanart people can’t resist making to commemorate these characters who feel so tangible.
Matt always ends the stream with a claim of love, and with most shows, with most streamers, with most people, that just feels like words. With these guys, with the way they open up and share this lightning in a bottle family and story they have created with the rest of us, it feels honest. It feels like these are long-lost friends who may never be in the same room, but are always there when I am drowning because the world is a nightmare, because work is kicking my ass, because this gushing essay is the most I’ve written in months. They are so good. They are human, and fallible, and invested in telling stories that get dark and ugly one minute, and devolve into hysteria the next, because that’s what life looks like. Even life with gods and magic and talking swords and goldfish deaths.
Critical Role keeps me throwing my shoulders back, keeps me laughing, keeps me insisting on showing the people in my life how much they mean to me. Critical Role keeps me on the board when the demons in my head have me thinking it’d be easier to throw the game. It’s a show, and it’s silly, but it’s given me such a safe, warm place to curl up in some of the bleakest times of my life, and I love them so much for being willing to share some of that light with the rest of the world. They’ve given me a place on the internet that truly does feel like home.
#critical role#long post#critter#there are a lot of stories and storytellers i love with all my heart#but there are so few that make me feel the things the CR cast and crew and narratives do#and i am so grateful for every minute of it they are willing to give#anyway i've been wanting to write something like this since i finished the VM campaign the first time around
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