#FINE ASS MF 😭😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bitchimasnake-sss · 6 months

Text

"my girlfriend's a nerd" ft. the monster trio!

self explanatory self-indulgent drabbles to soothe my book!loving ass

ft. luffy, zoro and sanji x fem! reader

set-up: you like books, he likes you that's it

warnings: none lmao this is very sfw. one might call it wholesome even.

luffy:

thats my baby ^^

— im not even sure if this mf can read 😭😭

— honestly 9/10 chance he can't but when has that ever stopped him from being our most supportive himbo king

— go king give us everything!!

— he doesn't get why you read books when instead you can be like sleeping or eating or looking at the sea but well, he doesn't question it

— he just thinks it's a weird hobby you have (i don't think he's aware of how freakishly illiterate he is)

— but just cause he thinks it's weird that doesn't mean he wouldn't hug you half-asleep when he hears you sobbing into the dead of the night or he wouldn't listen with keen interest when you explain the plot of your favourite book as he wraps his arms around you and hums into your hair

— will 100% offer to fight the author/ tear up the book everytime he sees you having a breakdown over a particular scene/character

"who should I kill?!" the deadpan seriousness in his voice is what terrifies you

"nobody! I'm okay–"

— after you explain to him that hurting somebody is not necessary and you're fine, he will try to coddle you with extended hugs and food (lots and lots and lots of food).

"yn you should eat something! should I get you something to eat??" you can hear the panic in this poor boys voice 😭😭

"no luffy, its okay. im fine!" you say through sniffs and snorts, eyes bloodshot from crying over ink on paper

"brb" and he gets you dinner enough for 5 people because that's how he knows to comfort you (willingly took sanjis kicks and namis punches to accomplish this mission)

— since he's a clingy little child, he will hold onto you some way or the other when you're reading

— you're reading in your room while he's fast asleep? his arm is draped across your waist lazily. you're on the other side of the deck, sunbathing and reading? his hand is stretched out from where he's sitting and on your thigh (ussop tripped thrice over his hand, rip god ussop 🙏) . you're reading during breakfast cause the book just got so good? his toe is rubbing your calf up and down periodically (he won't stop no matter how many weird looks you give him)

— conclusion: he doesn't at all get it what it is, but if it makes you happy he will spend all the berries in the world to buy you those books (plz know if you actually ask him to jokingly off an author for killing your favourite character, he will do it. please don't ask him that.)

— he's just so supportive and nice 😭😭

"my girlfriends a nerd, I love her" (ussop explained to him what a nerd was and now he's introducing you like this to everybody)

zoro:

the shades tho 😎

— I'm convinced this mf can't read either

— even he can there's like literally no evidence to prove it and the entire crew has come to the conclusion that he gets lost even with clear directions because he just can't read please 😌👌

— at the start, he actually thinks it's dead stupid to invest so much time reading books when you can do other stuff like getting stronger, sleeping, literally doing anything else (luffy backs up his opinion with full enthusiasm)

— i mean like he's seen you sob at 7 in the morning over breakfast cause your fav character died and now he's confused as to why are you spending money and buying books if they make you cry so hard (he doesn't understand the concept of angst im afraid)

— but over time he just accepts it as something you enjoy and well, if it makes you happy then who is he to question it?

— acts like he doesn't care/isn't listening when you're rambling about the plot and how thE MAIN CHARACTER IS IN LOVE WITH HIS ENEMY AND VICE VERSA SKEJFHSJKSN but is actually fully listening

— he's actually invested at one point

"but they are enemies? why does he wanna be with him?"

"you don't get it! thats the appeal!!"

"the appeal is forcing a knife on somebody's throat?" he's laughing, "as if you'd enjoy it if i threatened you with my swords"

"... i would actually enjoy that"

he is now asking nami for loan to send you to a therapist (nami has seen you nosebleed over fictional characters and is considering giving money away to zoro for free. you really do need help.)

— as I said, he's invested now (although he does question your taste every now and then) but he'd force you to either summarize the plot to him as he trains or read out loud so he can hear the story as it goes.

— so naturally you're now sitting on his back, reading out loud as he does push-ups

— this beloved himbo has now formed strong opinions about characters and will battle you with headcanons because "there's no fucking way the hero would ever go back to the villain after that! that's ridiculous! if he does I'll sell my swords off."

— will remember the stuff you told him, no matter how trivial, so if you get off an island and he spots a keychain from your fav book series he's spending whatever money he has left to buy you it

"oh excellent choice! who are you buying it for?" the shopkeeper lady questions aloud

"oh, my girlfriend." he's smiling, "my girlfriends a nerd."

— actually looks forward to you telling him all the plot details and jokes at this point (one might call him a part of the fandom now)

— when you're a crying, sobbing mess because a character died, he's genuinely comforting you (no matter how bad he is at it)

"yn it's okay, you want some sake?" he is hugging you, patting your head like you're a child

"no 😭😭" you sob harder into his chest

"well... that's the best i can offer"

he tried. it's not his fault you don't wanna drink your feelings away.

— conclusion: he started off thinking its stupid and now he's an honorary nerd. would never admit it though. stubborn asshole.

sanji:

he's actually so pretty tho ^^

— he actually liked reading books before you even joined the crew although his tbr consists of cookbooks and auto-biographies about the people he has some interest in

— he started reading so that he could impress zeff with his knowledge on cooking and other miscellaneous stuff (imagine kid!sanji reading a book till late night under a lamp cause he wants to impress his old man that's so cute 😭😭)

— respects your hobbies when he finds out you like reading

— and then he sees your book collection. whY ARE THERE LIKE 5000 BOOKS HERE?! NOW HES SCARED FOR YOUR SANITY CAUSE GIRL WTF

— he hears you recommend a book to robin/nami once and now he's running to the nearest bookstore on the next island you guys land on to buy it

— he obviously did it to impress you and win you over but goddamn that book was actually pretty nice. so, the next time he asks you for recommendations he's actually a bit sincere

— now you're both in a book club of your own (which makes luffy mad cause why are you leaving him out of conversations :/)

— like zoro, he often asks for updates on the book you're currently reading while he cooks everyone food. he loves hearing you talk about the things you like.

— when he sees you crying over books, he is making you sweet stuff to soothe you, holding you and rubbing your back supportingly, peppering kisses to make you feel better

— he's so fine 😫😫

— anyways, also def the kind of person to ask you to roleplay things in real life

"yn-saaaan" his voice is bubbly, "can i ask you something?"

"mhm?"

"the last book you read–" his face is going a little bit red, "you think we can maybe... do that irl?"

now it's your turn to go red

— but no fr, he's so so supportive of your little hobby like yes baby! read those books and have fun imagining people in your head

— 100% matches your vibe when you crush on fictional characters cause "you're right. he is actually very attractive" (a bi king we love)

— once zoro made fun of you for reading and this was his response: "you can't even read, mosshead. the next time you speak shit I'll kick your ass."

"who said I CANT READ? AND AS IF ILL LET YOU KICK MY ASS!"

"I TOTALLY WILL KICK YOUR ASS"

now they are fighting while ussop, luffy and chopper laugh in the background

— but yes he loves staying up late, reading with you before you both cuddle and fall asleep

— you once read about a specific sort of dish in a book and mentioned that it sounds delicious so now obviously he has to go make that dish. it doesn't matter if it's 1 am at night.

— when nami asks him what he's cooking, he just smiles and shrugs, "i dunno either, im just trying to make yn happy. she's such a nerd"

— conclusion: an enabler, an enthusiast. this man is ready to buy you books and then read them if it makes you happy. only the finest for his favourite lady <3

a/n: enjoy my wayward thoughts about these fine men!

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princeoftheeternalbog · 2 months

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Op characters with a clingy/handsy drunk? let's go

suggestive in Sanjis, Luffy, Brooks, DEFINITELY in Namis and Frankys and maybe Usopps? Mostly vague stuff, on that note would you guys actually be interested in like nsfw stuff? I know I'm really toeing the line here and i have drafts but I'm nervous to post😭.

Feel like this could be ooc in some places but who cares😻(me :()

Luffy

Giggles a lot, he finds it so cute and it really makes him feel warm in his chest. He can't get enough of you to be honest. Like this man loves physical touch but be warned he will think it's a sudden new level in your 'friendship'(read:in love with each other) and start acting that affectionate all the time. Willing to carry you around and also wrap himself around you so you can walk with him just there, yes this includes to the bathroom-

Zoro

Adores it. I think he actually loves affection and physical touch but just doesn't say it because he thinks it's obvious (it's not). So when you come up to him, wobbly and on your 6th drink, and just practically throw yourself into his arms hes just like :/). Makes sure you stay nice and close to him because he doesn't want you clinging to anyone else, and he always makes sure you drink water before bed even if bed involves falling asleep on top of him.

Sanji

Makes him nervous to be honest. Usually he's the forward one in the relationship but here you are untucking his shirt just to shove your hands up it. He absolutely will shriek if its in front of other people, and he's trying to wrangle your grabby hands but he really enjoys it so his resolve is so weak. Tries to satiate you by being affectionate back but it just makes you worse and he ends up taking you to a more private area so he at least doesn't have to blush in front of others.

Nami

She thinks it's so cute. Let's you do whatever you want as long as the people around you are comfortable and you've said it's fine(when sober ofc), but she doesn't really care about people seeing until you start trying to either get undressed or undress her and then she takes you to a private space because she's ever so slightly possessive. Listen for a girl who didn't have much, you add a lot of value to her life and she wants to treasure you properly, she doesn't trust anyone else to appreciate you the way you deserve.

Usopp

Surprisingly confident. You come up to him with this big dreamy smile and you're practically falling over yourself so he just- scoops you up. Front piggyback style yk, he's got one arm under your ass supporting your weight and the other one is holding his drink, listen this mf is strong okay you think a man who can build a boat isn't strong? Fool. He just lets you do what you want to be honest, one of your hands is tucked in his back pocket, the other is trying and failing to undo his overalls and he's just like "You okay honey?".

Robin

She's flustered. She's not that used to physical affection so it makes her really giggly and blushy, though she's still quite confident in her words and actions, she's fr twirling her hair around her finger. She has quite a high tolerance for alcohol but she actually gets a bit similar when she's drunk, she's more reserved of course but she just melts into you like butter on a hot pan. The crew always take so many pictures because they think it's so cute, literally every celebration you two just end up cuddling and then it sorta turns into a big cuddle pile with the crew because seeing her relax gets them emotional.

Franky

Oh baby you are looking in a mirror. He is just as bad if not worse- when he gets drunk he is a massive flirt and a massive tease. He's so giving in relationships and usually you don't have to ask twice but being drunk will mean he wants you to practically beg for a kiss. Half because he thinks it's funny and half because he's a horny bastard- Though if you get upset then he immediately drops the teasing, even when drunk he's so considerate of your feelings and your boundaries.

Brook

Doesn't mind at all but prefers to be in private when you're like this.

Quick headcannon that his bones are more sensitive than skin because there's less external protection-

Lets just say one time you touched a sensitive area in public and he will never get over the reaction he had or the fact that other people saw it. So you go to room jail as soon as you start trying to practically crawl inside his clothes to be as close as possible. He's not mad though, he giggles the entire way, he's just very shy about his interests.

Jinbei

Flustered as hell but makes him feel really secure in your relationship. Also, he lowkey loves being able to bring it up to tease you later, like he pulls an uno reverse when you're sober and you're just like omg omg omg- He's a sneaky guy fr, does so many unexpected things in a relationship. Don't get me wrong though he'd never let you do anything inappropriate, even when drunk he's very aware of boundaries and social etiquette so if he notices you getting a bit grabby then he takes you somewhere private for both your benefit and the people around you.

Sabo

Oh baby. This man is feral don't even start. The first time he experiences it, it's actually really unexpected, it's quite early in your relationship so you havent been too affectionate yet, but you come up to him and just sit down. On him. And you can practically see his brain melting out of his ears, his face goes so red you think he's going to pass out but the second you stand up, drunk and lowkey sad, he snatches you back down. You wanted to sit there, you are going to sit there now you have no choice. (You do but would you want to get up?)

Ace

Menace. Cannot even state how much of a menace. He's so physically affectionate that it usually flusters even the most confident people, and this is while sober, so if you start getting clingy when drunk he just becomes obsessed. But he absolutely hates it if you're like that with other people so once you start getting to that stage then he's whisking you away to your shared room, usually you stick to him like glue anyways but the crew love to wind him up by coaxing you away from him with food and funny stories.

#mdni #one piece x reader #luffy x reader #nami x reader #nico robin x reader #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #franky x reader #brook x reader #jinbei x reader #jinbe x reader #usopp x reader #sabo x reader #portagas d. ace x reader #one piece fics #one piece x gn reader

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boyinatown · 7 months

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Hi good day how are you? I really like Wind Breaker but I don't find smut about it. If you don't mind, won't you write about it.

BED-BREAKER

Summary: just smut about windbreakers boys.

Warning: sexual theme, oral sex, doggy style , missionary and cowgirl!

Pairing: Dom, Vinny , joker & Owen x f! Reader

Hi there, ofcourse, sorry this was posted late! I had some other works to post and started slacking off! You can always request anything here, next time please specify which characters you’d like. And I apologize if your wanted character wasn’t in this. - samii 💌

★ DOM KANG

dom 100% loves taking you about anywhere, one time he even requested having sex in his dads club.

Big fan of stomachs, no matter the size , scar , rolls , moles or any insecurities he just loves planting kisses on yours and because of your heat he often finds his self sleeping on it

During sex he’s not very loud , a few grunts here and there but nothing like whimpering or moaning unless you two have been at it for a while he would leave a few gaspy noises!

really into doggy style for some reason, he just loves how your ass slams back against his hips and how easily he can make it jiggle and red with his hand prints <3

He’s definitely big, I mean have you seen this guy? Packing about a 9/10 inch

He has a happy trail. Argue with the wall

Likes wrapping his arms around you , then continues to ravage you.

★ VINNY HONG

Despite his looks he gets embarrassed when you two have sex, but when he sees you underneath him clasping at the sheets or anything to control yourself his red eye glows with excitement to ruin you

He loves missionary so he can see your face, plant kisses on your jawline then savor the taste of your lips

He isn’t really into any specific type of body part , but he does love it when your breasts slightly bounce, and once again doesn’t care if their small , middle or huge. As long as he can watch he’s fine with it.

Vinny whimpers, I’m sorry but he does. He’s a sensitive guy and when you have sex he’s glad you chose him and cherish moments with him

Definitely spanks your ass when you walk by him or when your back is arched

Hickeys , hickeys lots of hickeys! Vinny can’t control his whimpers so he chooses to muffle them by painting your body with marks. <3

★ JOKER

this is unrelated but why doesn’t this motherfucker have a last name 😭

Joker loves cowgirl, that’s it. He just wants to hold your hips to thrust back into you and control your ever move even though your the one topping him. He can’t help it, that’s just how he is a dominator.

Speaking about dominator, he’s definetly a dom. Even if you tried to take over this mf will pin you down and just thrust harder into you not even stopping his hips for a second.

He’s fast in sex, fast and rough. Where do you think all that anger goes ?

he likes your ass, biting it , spanking it , kissing it. Anything <3 he just loves it. Sometimes he’d just slap your ass so hard you’d jolt high in the air then look back at him disappointed

He likes his arms, the way he can just choke you with them while fucking you from behind muttering stuff into your ear

When you guys fuck his earrings dangle and make noises so that’s sends you both over the edge

★ OWEN KNIGHT

he’s mean during sex, his eyes glowing in the dark and just making you whine for mercy.

Definitely fucks you in front of a mirror , just so you can see his blue orbs focused on you watching your every move even if you try to squint them he’d just force them open by pounding even harder

His favorite body part on you are your thighs , he likes having them on his shoulders while you massage his scalp while watching a movie, just holding you up in the air and to see them pressed against your chest when his cock keeps getting sucked into you

I headcannon he likes giving you oral sex more then you give him, something about you arching your upper body and thighs twitching makes him wanna pounce onto you, Ofcourse after you cum first <3

Has tried to record you two having sex before , but once he saw you looking at the camera with a fucked out look and eyes rolling back biting your lower lip he threw his phone away before smashing his lips onto yours roughly while his hips never stopped… but the recording luckily still went on and your voices were heard.

#dom kang windbreaker #dom windbreaker #Vinny hong windbreaker #vinny hong x reader #vinny windbreaker #joker windbreaker #Owen knight windbreaker #Owen knight #owen knight x reader #windbreaker smut #samii 🐈‍⬛

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harlowsbby · 3 months

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Good Love 💘

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, latto, lilnasx and 742,105 others.

yourinstagram selfies for my man @jackharlow 🤪💗

jackharlow my fine ass girl 💗🙈

latto ooooo I love the lip ring

urbanwyatt the bangs are giving you edna mode vibes for sure

druski sigh you should’ve been mine but I guess I’m happy for you both 😫

lilnasx a baddie with her baddie man 🤪

jackharlow @lilnasx damn right

Liked by yourinstagram, lilnasx, sza, jaydawayda and 65,000 others.

jackharlow had to show off the little galentine’s and malentine’s event my girl threw for us and a few close friends

yourinstagram I think I just might be an event coordinator 🤫

lilnasx I had the best time and definitely was the drunkest 😂

yourinstagram @lilnasx we was tweaking for our lives 😭💘

druski ngl I had a mf time

sza so cute! I love this

Liked by jackharlow, druski, nemo, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow and 67,235 others.

yourinstagram happy valentine’s day to my big mouth but sweetest and honest and most caring lover, love you bby boy 💘

jackharlow you decided to post this out of every single video I’ve sent you but I love you more!

yourinstagram @jackharlow I love showing your authentic side 🤪

urbanwyatt I look in this video ngl

nemo big ass mouth 😂

druski he doing TOO much 😂

lilnasx JUMP-SCARE

Liked by yourinstagram, lilnasx, sza, arifletcher, jaydawayda and 1,768,000 others.

jackharlow happy love day to my favorite girl! even though you wanted to do the most in the second picture 🙄💘 I still love you to the moon and back my sweet girl

yourinstagram I told you don’t post that one! but I love you baby daddy 😍

druski y’all cute

lilnasx not one, not two but THREE things of flowers mhmmm I know that’s right!!!!

sza oooo he got moneyyyyy

jaydawayda omg 🥹❣️

neelam so adorable!

nemo jack is officially in love y’all

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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moody4world · 10 months

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In my business pt3

part2

y/n

512.377 views • Liked by jackharlow

y/n TBT TO MY FNF FREESTYLE 😏 @glorillapimp

View all 1.155 comments

glorillapimp 4m

Let’s gooooooo

1.317 likes Reply

luvvr1a 4m

@glorillapimp y’all are fiireeee❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

266 likes Reply

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shari_n_444 10m

🔥🔥🔥🔥

diorjada 6m

im like 80% of them views 😭 this is so harddd

333 likes Reply

everybodyhates_tasha 5m

My toddler started bopping as soon as this video played💀 that’s definitely my child cause this is too damn good

110 likes Reply

sarahlopezs 4m

@everybodyhates_tasha imagine having a toddler while its hot girl summer

everybodyhates_tasha 3m

@sarahlopezs Girl dont do me like that

justlikeamarah 7m

Now y/n i love you but why you lying??? we know you not S I N G L E NO MORE😭

205 likes Reply

sedanyprince 4m

@justlikeamarah CALL HER ASS OUT!!!

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for y/n…

moodymagazine

Liked by djdrama and 380.47 others

moodymagazine Oh moodies! Last year the Louisville rapper #JackHarlow was seen rapping to #y/n FNF freestyle at the club. Do we think this might have been the start of their rumored romance or is it pure coincidence? Let us know in the comments below! ⬇️ Click the link in our bio or head to our tiktok for the full video.

#moodymagazine

View all 730 comments

sneakyshae 3m

man these two never explain shit so we’re gonna be guessing forever unless they post each other

188 likes Reply

liloneder 2m

@sneakyshea You are so right thoooo i hate that about them🙄

jonah.jay 1m

@liloneder yo aint no way your momma named you oneder💀

biglolaa 1m

Yeah but even if they post eachother its gotta be a serious post because them mfs don’t take shit seriously. Always trolling so theyd be perfect together now that i think about it🤔

44 likes Reply

cyabiah 6m

now why tf did urban like this post😭😭😭 its a signnnn

55 likes Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for moodymagazine…

y/narchive

1.805 likes

y/narchive Y'all, call me crazy but i might as well change my user to y/nandjackarchive cause these fits look pretty similar to me 👀👀👀 AND at the same party... yeah they gotta be together. As long as our girl is happy i have no complaints though i hope there's flicks of them together at that party🤭

#y/n

y/ncloset 10m

omg this is definitely a hinttt, she has been very happy and like relaxed lately so i hope he has something to do with it🥹

3 likes Reply

lennymoris 3m

@y/ncloset RIGHT?! i noticed that tooo

yungkelly 8m

Omg her and central cee are actually over now that makes me so sad cause i ship them BAD but girl got good taste cause jack fine as hell🤤

6 likes Reply

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for y/narchive…

jackharlow

Liked by y/n and 111.034 others

View all 1.573 comments

nairobi 12m

WHAT ???? JACKMAN DONT PLAY WITH ME😤

22 likes Reply

taylorthesaylorr 10m

@nairobi NO CAUSE WHAT DOES HE MEAN???? AND THE NO CAPTION TOO

urbanwyatt 7m

and the crowd goes wildski🤪

32 likes Reply

jharlowupdates 6m

Urban tell us the teaaaa

psycholiah 5m

She liked the post nooooooo

13 likes Reply

stacey2dash 3m

@psycholiah i just fell to my knees in walmart

tray_. 1m

Just saw somebody fall to their knees in walmart

bbgrlashly 9m

i recognize that booty anywhere and this is y/n without a doubt man 😩💔im heartbroken rn nobody hit me up

3 likes Reply

zaydadon 7m

@bbgrlashly HAHAHA ASH you so dramatic stop it😭

bbgrlashly 7m

THE WHITE MAN STOLE MY GIRL ZAY😤

missionaryjharlow 4m

not you in your stepdad era now 🤭🫣

m3rcedez 2m

@missionaryjharlow i wonder if he even met them yet and i really wanna know how thats going for him cause her kids dont play abt their dad💀💀

❤️ 🙌 🔥 👏 😢 😍 😮 😂

add a comment for jackharlow…

#jack harlow #central cee #moody4world #moody fics #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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mulletmitsuya · 10 months

Text

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive language, might be offensive idk (lmk if it is so i should take it down if necessary) , mentions of birth, mentions of alcohol and weed, gayness

Desc: it's Mitsuya's day of birth

Chifuyu: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITSUYA-KUN ⚠️❗💜😋😁

Baji: what's up with the emoji's

Mitsuya: thanks Chifuyu

Baji: happy getting out of the pussy day

Mitsuya: 😐

Kazutora: didn't he get circumcised?

Mitsuya: man what

Baji: ...

Baji: fuck that gotta do with what i just said

Baji: you just say shit

Kazutora: i'm talking about his birth method

Kazutora: keep up, Keisuke 😐

Chifuyu: you're so fucking stupid

Kazutora: HOW AM I STUPID

Kazutora: Mitsuya's mom was circumcised

Kazutora: it wasn't a vaginal birth

Kazutora: he was essentially removed, rather than birthed

Baji: "he was essentially removed, rather than birthed🤓👆"

Mikey: bro how do you even know that?

Chifuyu: R U TALKING ABOUT A C-SECTION????

Kazutora: IS THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID?? NO

Kazutora: i hate talking to stupid mf's 🙄

Baji: i don't understand why people say i'm the stupidest

Draken: *most stupid

Draken: you honestly proved everyone's point

Baji: fuck off

Mitsuya: ok you guys can shut up now

Draken: happy birthday Takashi

Draken: my sworn brother

Draken: my other half

Draken: my twin dragon

Draken: love ya man

Mitsuya: thank you Draken🙂

Baji: did u have socks on

Draken: ...?

Baji: you can't say "i love ya" and "my other half" without any socks on

Baji: it implies a sense homosexuality

Baji: but if you have socks on then it's fine

Draken: i'm sick of you

Baji: bro doesn't have any socks on 💀

Mitsuya: you guys can shut up now x2

Mitsuya: also

Mitsuya: you don't all have to say happy birthday just say it when we meet up cause i feel awkward saying thank you to every single one of you

Mikey: hope you enjoyed my birthday present 💪😎

Mitsuya: yeah...

Mitsuya: the half eaten taiyaki

Mitsuya: appreciate it

Mikey: anything for the homies ❤

Mitsuya: 😒

Draken: where's Hakkai

Draken: surprised he hasn't said anything about your birthday

Mitsuya: he's planning a surprise birthday party

Baji: surprise🤨?

Mitsuya: he told me not to not text him cause he's busy with my surprise birthday party

Mitsuya: i don't think he realized that he told me

Mitsuya: i don't wanna bum him out so i'll still act surprised

Mitsuya: i appreciate it either way

Chifuyu: Takemitchy, Angry and I have been helping him plan this for weeks, and he just fucking told you😐

Mitsuya: i guess lol

Mitsuya: also said he has a surprise for me

Baji: he's gonna tongue you down, i just know it

Mitsuya: stfu

Mikey: are y'all together or not

Mitsuya: don't know what you're taking about

Draken: bro's taking his time

Mikey: Mitsuya you're 21 now

Mikey: it's been 8 years???😭

Smiley: i may not have a birthday present but i'll bring queer and weed

Smiley: since y'all follow the law or whatnot and you're legal now

Smiley: hypocrites

Draken: what's wrong with following the law?

Smiley: you think beating people half to death was fucking legal, Draken?

Draken: well... no

Draken: doesn't mean we should abuse substances, underage

Smiley: ❤H Y P O C R I T E❤

Smiley: and a lot of the people we know smoke so idk why you're all the way in my ass rn

Draken: yeah but cigarettes aren't drugs

Smiley: weed >>>>> cigarettes

Draken: the ability to breath when i'm in my thirties >>>>

Smiley: fair

Baji: wdym you'll bring a queer and weed🤨

Smiley: why would i bring a queer when Mitsuya is literally right there

Smiley: i meant beer

Smiley: pride month changing my damn autocorrect😒

Kazutora: stop saying slurs

Smiley: bro the gays reclaimed that shit

Smiley: it's a blanket term for the ABCDEFG community or whatever the fuck

Draken: i feel like you're being homophobic

Smiley: nuh uh

Smiley: dude look

Smiley: 👬 👭

Smiley: see?😁

Smiley: am i still homophobic?

Baji: he got us there

Draken: wha-

Draken: what the fuck is that supposed to prove?

*Hakkai has gone online*

Hakkai: HI TAKA-CHAN

Hakkai: could you please come over to my place for no particular reason?🤔

Hakkai: hmmmm, it kinda feels like i'm forgetting something

Hakkai: maybe like, a public holiday?

Hakkai: who knows?🤷‍♂️

Hakkai: anyway

Hakkai: let's hang out like the regular days in which we are normal 🤗

Hakkai: see you soon 😁

Mitsuya: ...

Mitsuya: yeah sure Hakkai

Mitsuya: be right over

Hakkai: ❤

*Hakkai has gone offline*

Mikey: 💀

Chifuyu: i hate him

Baji: did he even fucking try

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bibleofficial · 8 months

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allegedly my ac has been broken & is the cause of why my battery has been being sapped but it took 5 days for this braindead mf to tell me this shit & wont even give me an ESTIMATE of WHEN the bitch will be FIXED im going to strangle him

#stream #like everyone will be murdered & then myself #i hate this city i hate this city i hate this city i hate this city i hate this city #i’m abt to just start ubering places & bill him 😭😭😭#LIKE MF ……….#WHAT HAVE U BEEN DOIN BUT WASTIN MY TIME 😭😭😭😭😭😭#my parents keep telling me like ‘how much would it be at firestone’ LIKE TRULY I COULDNT GIVE LESS OF A FUCK ILL PUT THAT SHIT ON A CREDIT #CARD AT LEAST ID GET THE FUCKIN CAR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I GOT SHIT TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cant even use the bus bc it’s still REDUCED SCHEDULE & COSTS 5 FUCKING DOLLARS 1 WAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭#FOR 1 BUS #like bro …… 10$ can get me like 3 gallons that’s 3 trips downtown &!!-#& back like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SO 60$ WORTH OF BUS TICKETS & 2X THE TIME #not worth nothin i hate this ain’t shit ass country this pitiful fuckin state im sooooooooo MAD #BC U CANT LIVE HERE WITHOUT A CAR !!!!!!!!!!!!#but also my other option is like ‘remove the ac’ & it’s like …. ur on crack. it’s 105° all day every fucking day WHAT DO U MEAN REMOVE THEAC #TO TAKE A SHOWER AT MY DESTINATION ? NO WTF 😭😭😭 IT ALREADY TAKES 20 MIN FOR THE AC TO KICK AS IS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#car was running fine then my father takes it once and now she’s dead. not a surprise. everytime my father touches anything of mine it comes #BACK DESTROYED 😭😭😭😭#i need to live somewhere w … any public transport #like bro i couldn’t even get to the bus w/o an uber 😭😭😭😭😭😭#it’d only take me like an hour & a half walking 1 way & i can pray i’ve money on the fucking bus card bc there’s no cash option to GET ON #THE FUCKING BUS #AND THE MACHINE TO RELOAD THE CARD IS STILL FUCKING BROKEN #SO THE ONLY WAY TO PUT MONEY ON IS IT TO GO FUCKING DOWNTOWN BUT GOOD LUCK BC UR NOT GETTING THERE BY THE BUS #now ur walking 30mi on a highway #or pay like 35$ for an uber lol

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bitchimasnake-sss · 6 months

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the monster trio (but make it highschool!au);

basically, what if these mf weren't illiterate?? highschool!au headcanons for the monster trio!!

luffy:

- the class comedian (and doesn't know it) - like this man is out here just going about his day, doing stupid shit. he doesn't know why the class is laughing when the teacher asks him what he's doing and he says "eating. want some?" through a mouthful of doritos and a shit-eating grin - everyday, atleast once, he gets sent to the principle (the principle is garp lmao) and garp sends luffy back to the teacher because even he doesn't wanna deal with this precious himbo

- he runs track (and he is actually so good at it) - he's that one kid that has adhd and the whole school knows but he doesnt "adhd? what's that?" "you, luffy, that's you" - his homework? never complete; his handwriting? so shit it feels like ants crawling on paper; his uniform? something has to be missing always whether it's a button on his shirt, tie, belt, something. - one time he pulled up with one sock missing and when asked, he shrugged and said "sometimes things happen" - why did he say it like that??? - somehow, despite it all, he manages to pass (nami tutored him forcefully and made him pay her later) - best friends with the martial artist!zoro and cooking prodigy!sanji - nobody knows how these three are friends??? but they are ig - also, i headcannon him as the guy who is like 4 feet and after one summer comes back stretched out (hehe, pun intended) - always so kind to others even if he doesn't know them, always willing to help freshmen out and run errands for you if you need help - nobody knew he is related to his older brothers (ace, sabo) "how are you their brother??" "idk? how am i??" - just the bestest boy ever, golden retriever energy all day every day no matter what universe it is

zoro:

- you take one look at this mf and you think, ah here is the classic delinquent, stick-up-his-ass martial artist and you couldnt be more wrong - he is never dressed right but that's cause he doesn't know how to tie a tie and listen if he had the willpower to find the right socks at 7 in the morning, he will - he is just an incompetent fool, trust me 😭😭 - gets late on the regular cause he always takes the wrong turn - the one "jock" who isn't anything like a stereotypical jock? like he hangs out with soon-to-be valedictorian nami, idiot luffy, theatre kid!ussop and cook!sanji - nobody can understand how this friend group was formed??? - actually gets asked out a decent amount of times and always says "nah, im good" and walks away to his friends - people are starting to suspect if he's dating luffy from how hard their bromance is going "zolo!!! gooDMORNING!!" luffy yells as he launches onto zoro in the middle of the hallway at 8:03 am on a random tuesday zoro casually drops his backpack to catch luffy "morning" zoro replies as if it's casual behaviour - the amount of trophies the school has in his name is insane (nation level martial artist, roronoa zoro) - he is actually decent at school, he is just average and he's fine by it he doesn't give all that much of a shit in the academic sphere - casually pulls up to the parents-teacher meet with thE FUCKING WORLD REKNOWNED MARTIAL ARTIST, DRACULE MIHAWK??? "i see he passed in all his exams. how wonderful, zoro. let's leave now." "aight" - he doesn't even think twice when asked if he knows mihawk, he's just like "yeah that's my dad what about him?" - a certified dumbass in every universe

sanji:

- listen to me this mf went to masterchef junior and fucking won and people only know this cause the school hyped him up and not because he wanted people to know "omg sanji did you actually win-" "no that was my twin brother sanjo, please leave me alone" - actually prim and properly dressed, shows up at time everyday and gives in all of his assignments and submissions well before the due date (he is partially responsible for keeping zoro and luffy on track) - he was the one making cupcakes when nami was organizing a fundraiser for a nearby orphanage, he was the one who baked cookies cause sabo wanted to hand them out on his last day of school, he was the one who baked cakes for his classmate's surprise birthday party - rumor has it if you get on good terms with sanji, a mysterious box of homemade chocolate will be there in your locker the next day - despite all the hype he has, mf still gets no girls - like luffy, he is insanely kind to those who need help - has gotten almost suspended once for beating up a senior year kid for bullying a freshmen (luffy and zoro just stood by and laughed as that kid got his ass handed to him) - he is the son of THE FUCKING OWNER OF BARATIE, A FIVE STAR MICHELLIN RESTAURANT THAT IS FREQUENTED BY CELEBRITIES ALL THE TIME "omg omg sanji is it true that the rock visited your restaurant last night?!" "yeah, his daughter wanted to eat my tiramisu, she's really sweet" - so chill always (but simultaneously losing his shit) - the kinda person you'd love hanging out with - as i said, in any universe, he is still single (feed him the rizz rizz fruit pls)

a/n: tried something new tell me do you like it or love it?

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