#HLOC

[carrotzcake]

eating disorder treatment [group on the medical complications of EDs]: gastroparesis, IBS and related digestive health issues are common

also eating disorder treatment: eat this objectively large amount of food in 45min. *punished for eating too slowly* *punished for incompletion* *punished for bathroom usage immediately after eating*

#personal #eating disorder #eating disorder recovery #medical complications of eating disorders #digestive health #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #osfed #hloc #residential treatment #inpatient treatment #actuallyanorexia #actuallybulimia #actuallyED #edulting #gastroparesis

[magnoliadryad]

i don’t think I’ll finish this wip but I do love it 💕

#hogwarts oc #hogwarts legacy #hloc #hogwarts legacy oc #she's exhausted but is just so happy #melina eleutherios

[tradermade]

Streaming OHLC data via WebSockets with Python simplified! https://tradermade.com/tutorials/ohlc-python-websocket. Our step-by-step tutorial, perfect for financial applications, teaches you how to stream and process Forex data.

#python #websockets #hloc #forex #data stream

[jinglejanglemornings]

sometimes life as a 20-year old anorexic stoner is taking shots of french vanilla coffee creamer cause you really want ice cream but you’re terrified of ice cream and you don’t even keep real food in your kitchen

#tw ed #1. im not anorexic by technical diagnosis #2. i forgot to say 20 year old anorexic stoner w a caffeine dependency #im not a stoner as such. #well maybe i am lol #i need a HLOC lol #im TRYING! im trying

[whsprings]

literally so anxious rn

#my friend is staying with me tonight and i feel like im being boring also i have homework and i cant do my homework bc she is here #also i am hungry again despite having dinner not that long ago and that isnt helping #also i keep thinking about hloc and how i do not want to be told to go and idk if i am doing enough but doing more feels impossible #like. all my team seems to care about is my weight #and while i have some control over that i dont have that much control over that #esp not with my bullshit meal plan #so yeah sorry if i seem obsessed with my weight its because i am and i have a lot riding on it #cw// ed

[slutsofren]

would you mind writing a little ficlet (or hcs) of the batboys and reader taking care of their newborn?

ever since i read the oneshot where reader goes into labor, i've been going FERAL at the thought of the batboys being loving dads set in the hloc universe🥺🥺

but only if you're comfortable and if you want to!!! you don't have to do this if you don't want to, no hard feelings 💜

OOH THIS IS GOOD

okay so i should start with a blanket message. i, personally, do not have children, i do not know how to raise a child save for a cat who is my pride and joy. i do not wish to have a child in my life. with that being said i will likely get a lot of things (lol everything) wrong in more detailed ways but hey, that's why this is a fantasy fic right lol

as always, details under the cut!! i went for general attitudes towards your pregnancy in the high lady universe but if you want something a wee bit different just shoot on over an ask :> 🤍🌹

**i will not be posting this to ao3 so it is a ✨tumblr exclusive✨

cw: babies, a little bit of violence mentioned but nothing bad :>

Azriel

az was the first one to try and get you pregnant and yes, he was trying multiple times a day for it to take so when the little flutter first happened, he cried. big fat tears.

when the babe was born with dripping black onyx wings az had weeped, they all did

he began to take less spy missions that would keep him away longer than a few hours just to stay home with his child, at least until they would old enough yeah right

it would take him months before he was able to stay a single night away on a mission at which point you had to reassure him with multiple kisses that the two of you would be fine

he cared for you in every single way possible, physically, mentally, emotionally, and would do everything in his power to keep you both happy

you wanted a bath? absolutely, here is your bath but let him take the baby, no it's fine he wanted to hold them :)

there would be nights where the babe would wake and cry and az would jump up and immediately take to them, consoling their cries

you'd watch as az would gently murmur stories from memory, of a high lady who fought to the death for her lovers, stories of you

az always was and always will be the protector of your little family

Cassian

absolute loser of a daddy

he didnt know the first thing of being a dad and he sure as hell did not know how to care for one

all brawn and very little brain for baby 101

he was never sure if he wanted kids when he first met you but seeing you pregnant, seeing his family, he was satisfied with whatever the outcome may be

he once tried to give baby a dagger when they were still a toddler and if you listen closely you could still hear Rhys’ voice shouting “NO” from the mountains of Illyria

for the first few weeks, cass was afraid he was going to drop the baby so he avoided holding them at all costs, leaving it to az and you

it wasnt until you assured him it was going to be fine did he give in, only to immediately start crying when he realized this was his family. he had a family. everything he fought for was for this.

cass was a warrior and he was absolutely going to be the one who trained your babies how to kick ass like him

Rhysand

rhys always was and always will be the most hesitant of the daddies

it took him time to come to terms with your pregnancy only because he lost his first family so violently, he wasn't sure if he was ready for that step but he knew he wanted it with you

rhys was the one who would secretly take the babe under the cover of darkness outside to practice flying as a surprise for you all

knowing the childhood of your other mates, he did everything he could to ensure none of your babies would ever grow up in violence like them or be in want of affection

with that being said, he became much more violent towards members of his court of nightmares.

he was a high lord so he was often not home but he would be damned to let the disease fester and grow under his reign, and he would make sure none of your children would shoulder his burden

to him, rhys did not care if he was biologically the father of any of your babies but he would fight wars for them so they would never have to

#the high lady talks #anon ask #the high lady of cunning #acotar rewrite #rhysand #rhys acotar #rhysand x reader #cassian acotar #cassian x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x reader

[findingmypeace]

This post is a partial c/p from an e-mail I sent my outpatient therapist and dietitian.

“I (my ed doctor) spoke by phone to (my PHP dietitian). Pt has gained 5lb in 3 days. 10lb in 2 weeks. More binge purge and night eating. Discussed need for HLOC in adult ED RTC then plan transfer to adult trauma RTC once ED in remission. CFD team will coordinate admission to ED RTC. Pt to be seen here for pre-admit visit as needed. I will coordinate with ED RTC to transfer to trauma RTC once she is stabilized at ED RTC.”

This is what popped up on my patient portal last night while at PHP right before dinner. It was her chart note that showed up as the ‘visit summary’. I am positive that I was not supposed to see this but it was posted on the patient portal that I have complete access to. I was unaware of the suggestion of a trauma RTC and then my weight…🤬 Omg, my weight!!! And my behaviors have been so much better this week. It’s been 6 nights in a row with no night eating and almost a week with no b/ping at all while last week it was only twice. I did b/p last night after I saw this note and I know that my labs were pretty bad when I got them done on Monday. I am worried about the labs but I also feel like my behaviors have improved significantly and I don’t want to do residential.

I just can NOT leave my job. Not only am I getting 50% less than my normal monthly income from short term disability, taking a leave of absence from my job was such a high stressor that I don’t think I can go through that again. In fact the entire battle. I can’t.

Work is amazing. There is so much less stress now that I don’t have the weight of the entire mental health ‘department’ resting on my shoulders. Physically, I am feeling so much better. I can walk freely again and, don’t feel lightheaded every time I stand. Yes, these things still happen occasionally, but nowhere near like before. But the edema in my feet is still really bad. It comes and goes so frequently. I know it’s directly related to fluid intake which I feel has increased significantly. I’m drinking 40-50oz per day (mixture of water/gatorade) whereas before I was drinking nothing (except diet soda).

I have NO idea what I’m going to do regarding to treatment. I don’t think I will be allowed to stay in PHP anymore but I’m also not going to let go of this job. I do not like this predicament at all.

#personal #ed treatment #bulimia #attachment trauma #eating disorders

[callsignangel]

who wants the lore on my hogwarts legacy oc?? i love the stories that players come up with and i want to share but i want to be sure there's a want/need for HLOC lore 🤣🤣

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #natsai onai #poppy sweeting #professor garlick #professor sharp #hogwarts oc #hogwarts legacy oc #leander prewett #garreth weasley #imelda reyes #angel's thoughts

[trans-axolotl]

What do you do if you're highly recommended HLOC for eating disorders but for reasons both financial and personal you can't do that? I also don't have consistent access to therapy or regular healthcare either, despite having state insurance and a therapist. It's getting really scary for me but HLOC is just not something I'm capable of doing.

Hi, anon <3

That's a really hard situation to be in, and I know how overwhelming it can be to try to navigate eating disorder care and HLOC, especially when these resources aren't accessible or financially feasible. I can completely understand how scary eating disorders can get, and how challenging it can be to even get the energy to reach out for support.So definitely kudos to you for still trying to figure all this out despite all the difficulties. You deserve support and care in whatever ways make sense for you and your life right now, and I hope that you have the room to process any feelings you might be having.

Something that has been helpful for me to hold onto during my eating disorder recovery journey has been harm reduction values and frameworks. I know for me, the thought of recovery was incredibly scary, and rigid treatment frameworks didn't feel sustainable or accessible at all. Trying to make goals around doing any positive change, reminding myself that I didn't have to wake up and change everything in one day, accessing practical harm reduction tips for how to keep myself medically stable even if I wasn't ready to stop using behaviors, and setting more realistic goals around reducing frequency or severity of behaviors rather than trying to confront everything at once helped. Nalgona Positivity and Pride is an organization that has some really cool resources around eating disorders and harm reduction, and also hosts a monthly support group for POC with eating disorders. Engaging with fat liberation politics and values was also something that was super helpful for me to start undoing some of the really tangled up core beliefs and functions of my eating disorder. (I know that body image is not a relevant part of everyone's eating disorder experience, and I also can share some more specific resources for ARFID or PICA if that's a need.)

I want to really validate that it's completely okay if you don't want to go into HLOC. So often in the eating disorder treatment world, we hear a lot of really rigid statements that try to convince us that HLOC is the only option for healing. I know I felt a lot of shame in eating disorder treatment spaces for not being a "perfect" or "compliant" patient, and dealing with all the coercion when people tried to convince me to go to HLOC was so hard. So just know that it is completely understandable and justifiable that you would have reasons that you're not interested in HLOC, and your autonomy should be respected. I really do believe that there are lots of different ways healing can look like for us, and that all of us are going to be the expert on what would be the most helpful for our own situations. I know I did also feel a lot of grief that there weren't more alternative or easily accessible options, and felt a lot of anger on how alone and panicked I felt when I knew that I couldn't cope with my eating disorder anymore, but didn't want to be institutionalized either. So just really sending love and solidarity your way for whatever you're feeling and going through right now.

One resource that might be helpful is Project Heal, who provides scholarships when insurance isn't enough to cover eating disorder treatment. I don't know if you would be interested in IOP or PHP if that was made financially accessible, but Project Heal might be able to help make that happen if you do want to go down that route. I don't know if you're at all interested in virtual treatment, but I do know a couple people who have successfully just gotten scholarships from Equip eating disorder treatment when they explained their financial need. Quite a few eating disorder treatment centers will have scholarships programs that aren't advertised, and it's sometimes worth calling treatment programs and asking to see what can be done.

If any formal treatment is not an option, it might be helpful to try to make a really intentional plan about how you might want to approach this within your individual support network. Understanding why your providers are recommending a HLOC, whether it's because they think you need medical stabilization, weight restoration, being in a secure environment for behavior interruption, access to meal support five times a day, or something else, might help to focus on priorities and goals. Whether or not you agree with their interpretation of your situation, it might be helpful to sort of figure out what your more urgent priorities are right now so that you can make a plan for what your next couple weeks/months look like. I'm not sure if that's something that your therapist could help with or not, but making a plan with them or someone else from your support network might help to provide a bit of a way forward.

I know some people who have really tried to do a "treatment at home model" where with support from their friends/family/partner, they've set up a more intentional environment where they've made some specific goals, asked friends/family to provide meal support at specific times throughout the day, and done therapy/journaling/art/healing work at times throughout the day. I know that a lot of this stuff depends on what supports you do have in your life currently, and whether you can take time off work/school, or how other disabilities can play into whether things like meal prep and cooking are even accessible at all. But I know some people who've found it really helpful to try to really just set aside time to focus solely on eating disorder coping, even doing some things like copying schedules from treatment programs and doing that in their house. That might be too overwhelming or not a viable option, which is totally valid. But if you want to try to brainstorm what a plan like this might look like, definitely feel free to send another ask with some more specifics and I'm happy to try to help with some of that brainstorming.

When I was really struggling with my eating disorder before I ended up in a HLOC, what I tried to do was have some sort of eating disorder support every day of the week. I think it's so hard to heal in isolation, and a really important step can just be trying to start to create some way of accessing community. What that looked like for me was going to like four different eating disorder support groups a week through different organizations, and accessing support from a recovery coach. Recovery coaches are usually people who have gone through the process of eating disorder recovery, and a lot of people might be in school for their license as counselors or dietitians. They can provide meal support several times a week, do things like go grocery shopping with you or do challenging food exposures. It's more informal than therapy, but can provide some more of that material support. If you're interested in that, I know several providers who provide sliding-scale services and are really willing to make things accessible. I can't share their names publicly for privacy reasons, but if you send in an ask off anon or dm me I'm happy to send you their information.

I also went to support groups through FEDUP, the Eating Disorder Foundation, and ANAD. There are several different groups that happen at different times virtually throughout the week, and some are identity specific while some are open to anyone. Those can be an awesome source of peer support and people can provide really helpful feedback and advice or help you talk through specific challenges you're having.

Overall, I just want to affirm that whatever steps you are able to take to take care of yourself and engage with your eating disorder recovery are worth celebrating. This stuff can be so difficult, and even small steps you can take to try to stabilize, reach out for support, making a small goal, are all amazing accomplishments. Sending love and solidarity during this difficult time, and please feel free to reach out again with any more specific questions or even just to vent. Truly wishing you the best of luck <3

Any followers who have relevant knowledge of other resources or helpful tips, please feel free to add on.

#asks #eating disorder tw #eating disorder treatment #peer support #ti didn't want this to get too long but i started rambling a bit asfkjh

[smol-lydia]

Personal post//cw for mention for ed no explicit details because we don’t do that here

So I finally got an admit date for residential: July 18th. Because I’m getting authorized through Medicaid/my county, I already know how many days they’ve approved which is an odd reassurance because in the past when I’ve had private insurance they only approve 4-5 days at a time so your head was constantly on the chopping block and it made it hard to focus on getting better

This time, I know I’ll be getting 50 days, no more, no less. I haven’t needed a HLOC since my last relapse in 2019 when my step dad passed and I’ve been working on my recovery since my admission to Renfrew in 2017 so…it’s weird to be back in the place once again.

I’ve learned that if you’ve had your Ed for more than a decade it’s considered SEED (severe and enduring) and I’ve had mine since I was 7 years old so….23 years. And yet I’m so harsh on myself for not being 1000% better blah blah

I’ve stopped using eat and yeet behaviors since 2019 but I still struggle with anorexic behaviors obviously and just….I really want to get back on track with things because I had a solid recovery for a while and I miss it. I miss food freedom and feeling ok in my skin. And secure in myself.

I’m not the toxic asshole I was before renfrew who burned bridges in my friendships and slept with men for validation despite being a lesbian or started fist fights in Denny’s or did drugs etc etc I never want to go “out” from AA or NA and I want better for myself….and for my loved ones….

I may not be in a relationship anymore, may not be getting married any more…..

But I don’t want to die from this disease. It’s not what I want to be known for.

#personal #chronic health tag #lyds talks

[carrotzcake]

like i wasn't anal retentive enough from the start, years of HLOC & tx experiences, couple w/ The Trauma have made me so anxious & paranoid.

everything has gotten worse and no one is helping or supporting me. my family sees my weight restoration, sees me eat, not hospitalized for binge drinking, and think i'm fine.

i am not.

upcoming anniversary things have already started a cascade of underlying symptoms bubbling up just beneath the surface.

#personal #recovery #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #osfed #eating disorder #anxiety #ptsd #depression #alcoholic #alcoholism #family #treatment #hloc #anniversary #actuallyanorexia #actuallybulimia #edulting #symptomatic #support #alone #fear

[trust-the-hours]

Why is taking care of myself not enough?

It does not last and doesn’t feel as good as HLOC. I don’t want to do it for myself, I want to be taken care of. I want to be able to process and face emotions WITH that sense of safety and no other responsibilities.

I have journal entry after journal entry saying how badly I want residential. And being in a month long binge cycle after a whole year without has been brutal.

But binging and restricting is NOT going to get me to residential. That option isn’t viable anymore. I’m not medically unstable or underweight. And it would literally end my marriage.

Plus I can’t keep going to treatment. I know I do well in treatment. I need to do well in life.

Res gives me so many things:

Self care, schedule, guaranteed nutrition, no option to binge, shared struggle, self work with no other responsibilities, expressing emotions with “safety”

I’ve been trying to recreate all those things in my life. Like a self residential. It sounds so stupid. And I’m kinda embarrassed that, that’s where I am right now, but I am.

It helps, it feels good. But not for long. Not as much. It feels like this desperation to feel those feelings.

I know with Res, comes this overwhelming sense of lonliness for me. Like I’m not really seen or a second thought (which don’t get me started on how that plays out based on body size). But that gets overshadowed by the good things.

#eating disorder #ed recovery #residential treatment #residential #residential eating disorder treatment

[tradermade]

Discover the art of converting WebSocket streams into minute HLOC bars using Node.js! https://tradermade.com/tutorials/transforming-websocket-data-into-minute-based-hloc-bars-using-node-js. Embark on a journey suitable for both Node-js beginners and experts to effortlessly convert real-time data.

#nodejs #data stream #forex data #websockets

[whsprings]

one of my iop goals last week was to do a better job with my meal plan over the weekend and today has been pretty decent but yesterday?? oof.

#cw// ed #i have four weeks to make progress according to iop guidelines before being recommended to a hloc #tomorrow starts week 3 #i am doing marginally better than when i started but am still losing weight so #how much better could that possibly be #i am so scared of being told to do hloc but I would not be surprised #and also i am determined to graduate and i am very stubborn so i dont think it would go over super well #i need to stop. i need to at least stop losing weight. i need to quit fucking around. #sjshhshhdgggsgaqk

[slutsofren]

The stages of HLOC:

Me, ~1 year ago: God that group sex must be hot

Me, an insomniac, right now at 12 am: god that cuddle pile must be heavenly

oh baby im still in slutty station central, ive got no thoughts other than 🍑🍆💦🍆💦🍆💦

but fr i cant sleep and i am 100% in whore mode

#inbox 💌 #twocrowsinatrenchcoat

[findingmypeace]

2/13/2023

I’ve been meaning to update about my appointment with my psychiatrist last Tuesday. For the first time in a long time I was able to be completely real with him. I didn’t downplay how I was feeling or not say what I wanted. It took so much effort to get the words out but I was able to tell him exactly how low things have gotten. For the first time he was able to recognize how hurtful it was to lose K. I was also able to be honest about SI thoughts.

As a result of all of this we are totally reworking my medication. This is the first major shift in my medication since I started seeing him when my last psychiatrist retired in July 2021. He is taking me off strattera and trintellex and adding nardil. Has anyone ever been on nardil? I’ve never heard of it. I think he forgot I am also on rexulti and wellbutrin because he didn’t mention those meds in the instructions for the changes. The reduction of old medications and the addition of nardil will take about 4 weeks. I’m still on week 1 and have not started nardil yet. My first dose will be on Wednesday. It’s a different class of medication than I’ve been on. I’ve mostly taken SSRI’s or atypical anti-psychotics. This medication is an MAOI. I’m not sure what to expect.

Additionally, we agreed that I would start writing things down that I want to say because I find that is an easier way to be honest. I’ve already written a little bit. I’ve basically talked about how exhausted I am with everything going on, how I want to give up, some of the SI that’s happening, and what’s really happening with my eating disorder (which I have yet to fully disclose to him-I don’t want him to suggest going back to treatment-he’s the medical director of the treatment center I went to). I have ect on Friday and I will give him the paper then. I’m nervous about sharing these things but I also feel a sense of relief. I think I might actually get appropriate help if I can be real and honest about what’s really happening. But I am also afraid of what that appropriate help means. I am NOT going to a HLOC! I just hope he understands. That’s really all I’m asking for.

#personal #psychiatrist