#I apologize for talking to so slowly

[fatedroses]

Short comic for adventurer zenos, and the hand he lends to the students of baldesion in exchange for some lodging- which quickly turns into him actually learning to enjoy his time and the company there. Which, in this once he’s able to actually get back into researching more of his interests he occasionally goes overboard on his work which leads to him forgetting to eat or sleep before it is done.

#ffxiv #sketch #fan art #comic #zenos yae galvus #adventurer zenos #rare moment of Zenos panicking because it’s work he -actually cares about- #I adore the concept of Zenos learning to love being in sharlayan #and the concept of him actually being able to be an academic with peers equal to him #that he can talk about his studies too #I also see him not knowing how to express gratitude really so it’s just him exchanging favors as thanks #which doesn’t work when he slowly gets absorbed into the scions/students of baldesion because they will make him look after himself #also unironically krile probably earning the guardiest of guard dogs after he’s able to reflect on the resonant #because I genuinely doubt he’d ever apologize #but he’d probably make sure nothing ever happened like that again #which is a character trait that’s been interesting to interpret and work with lol #on a completely unrelated note: #zenos owns at triple triad and you cannot change my mind #he would be that one guy with the top tier deck and the same/plus ruleset

[kyouka-supremacy]

Gin is such a tricky character. They've got a very good premise and compelling relations with other characters which makes them very interesting to explore. They have near to no screentime which makes everybody have a personal and original idea of what their personality is like with equal canon basis, so that in the end it feels like the fandom is filled with as many different Gin-ocs as people that are in it. I'm forever pursuing the objective, doomed to be unsuccessful by its own premise, of finding a fanfiction that features a Gin characterization that perfectly aligns with my own Gin-oc.

Anyways, meet my Gin-oc:

I already mentioned this, but Gin and Ryuunosuke aren't biologically related. Back in the slums, everyone assumed they were for their similar looks and how they never left each other's side, and they never bothered correcting them; what did it matter anyways? In the end, when all their friends were slaughtered, they ended up being the only family they had.

Gin's quite confident actually: she could cut your throat at any given moment, and she knows it. That's the consequence of always having been quite spoiled by Ryuunosuke: not really with words, but it'd be extremely rare for him to criticize anything she does, and he would let her win on everything more often than not. She is the youngest sibling. The difference in age feels a lot bigger than what it actually is.

Gin's the blunt, sharp type; doesn't talk a lot, but when she does it's sure to cut you. She's similar to Ryuunosuke in that. She's the only one who can speak back to the most feared pm member without fearing consequences... And it shows.

The only thing that intimidates Gin is for people that have only ever known her in her work attire to see her in civilian clothes, or the other way round.

Gin is also a little naive compared to their brother: she doesn't contemplate the endless fight between good and evil or what it means to take a person's life like Ryuunosuke is used to, she just gets her job done. She's younger than Ryuunosuke and, although she's still a feared Port Mafia operative, I think she is fairly more immature than him, also given the fact that, again, Ryuunosuke used to spoil her and always tried to shield her from seeing the most gruesome, terrifying sides of the world. It's not like he managed to keep her blind to everything, she is from the slums too and she did see her family being slaughtered in front of her eyes and she does know how cruel the world can be a thousand times more than your average Yokohama citizen; it's just slightly better than it is with Ryuunosuke, that's it. And keep in mind that to me Ryuunosuke is quite naive too, so they're also close in this.

Gin and Ryuunosuke live together. Ryuunosuke moved them to a little rented apartment as soon as he could when he started receiving pm retribution, and they later moved to a big flat when he got promoted to command unit (the apartment was destroyed after Dazai left the pm because. yeah).

Ryuunosuke was actually against Gin joining the pm too. He never contemplated it being a possibility when he accepted to join himself. But Gin never had any intention to sit around uselessly, and was going to join whether Ryuunosuke liked it or not. He eventually gave in, reasoning the pm would have protected her, so it was all for her to be safe (a little naive thinking on his end, but he was young too).

The one and only time Ryuunosuke ever got mad at Gin was when he found out that she killed someone for the first time. Which like, what else did he expect ever since she joined the mafia? And yet he had thought (perhaps, hoped) that her role would be limited to low stakes missions, and that she would have maintained a low rank (he's a little stupid). He was furious. Which sounds quite hypocrite given the fact that he's killed countless people, but the thing is in his mind he always was the only one supposed to stain himself with sin, never Gin. Despite all the lives he's taken, I have reason to believe Akutagawa still values life and understands what burden it is to take other people's; a burden that Gin should had never known. He's quite the protective kind. But Gin is not afraid of Ryuunosuke (of course, he's her dear brother), and she wasn't afraid to speak back at him; in the end, she did what she wanted, but it was a tough tooth to swallow for Ryuunosuke.

No one has to know they're siblings– no one. Ryuunosuke is dead serious on the matter and mildly obsessed by it; he's tormented by the idea of any of his enemies getting revenge on him through Gin, and that's literally his greatest fear and worst nightmare (not only Gin dying, but also Gin's death being his fault). The only people to know they're related are the executives and Hirotsu; if Ryuunosuke ever found out anyone else knew, he would instantly hunt them down and kill them, no matter who they were. At work, Gin and Ryuunosuke act like they don't know each other; Gin never protested, because she understands just how vital the matter is for their brother, and how it would be impossible to change his mind on this.

Gin and Ryuunosuke love each other more than anything. They're always going to be each other's priority, always, I can't stretch this enough. 50% of the reasons Ryuunosuke joined the pm to begin with was because of Gin, because he wanted to take her away from the slums, because he wanted her to be safe. Yet they just... Have no idea how to help or comfort each other. Both of them are entirely inadequate with words when it's about comforting someone. So their only way to show affection ended up just being there for each other, silently. I can picture, in one of Akutagawa's lowest moments, when months of being beaten up are starting to really feel on his already frail body, and his illness is starting to emerge, him vomiting blood at home; and Gin just being next to him without saying a word– because what could she possibly say? But she's still there, next to him, and she's the most important thing for him; and it doesn't make the world any less cruel, doesn't lessen the pain that's killing both of them, but at least there's some sort of white comfort in knowing they're not facing it alone. I really believe that as much as Dazai worked to dehumanize Ryuunosuke, tried to make of him a mindless killing beast only existing to follow orders, Gin was the only thing left to keep Ryuunosuke hanging to the glimmer of humanity left in him. On that front, I find the relationship between them to be similar to the one Kyouka and Atsushi share in Beast: their life is walking through the darkest of nightmares, but they do so holding each other's hand.

Although, those moments of connection became always less frequent as time passed and both of them grew up. The more time Ryuunosuke spent working for the pm under Dazai, the more he was reluctant to show himself vulnerable, the more they grew apart. Ryuunosuke was going through a very hard time and for him it was of vital importance that Gin had nothing to do with it. On Gin's end, it was draining to have to powerlessly, passively witness her brother slowly destroy himself and his own humanity without being able to do anything about it, and ironically that led to her distancing herself from Ryuunosuke in turn. In a funny, cruel way, seeing Ryuunosuke so pained without being able to do anything about it activated the fight or flight response the slums installed in her: since there was nothing immediately tangible she could fight against, her instinctive response was to run away from the situation. I just feel like powerlessly having to see a dear one suffer so deeply without being able to do anything has the potential to be even more painful than having to bear the suffering yourself, and I can see how she would have wanted to distance herself from it. Gin and Ryuunosuke didn't move away or anything, but the time they spent together significantly decreased to the point they were both actively avoiding each other. Ryuunosuke was constantly moody and angry at the world and although it was never - ever - directed at Gin, can you really blame her if she didn't want to spend time with him? It's hard for me to explain this without making it sound like Gin didn't care about Akutagawa, wasn't aware and suffered from his pain, didn't want to help him; because she really did care, and was concerned for his suffering, and wanted to help. It's just something really hard to deal with on daily basis when it drags on for several years, and there's so little you can do, especially if the person you want to help would rather die than let you help them.

It got better, though. I feel like Ryuunosuke touched the bottom when Dazai left the pm. But his and Gin's relationship got better after that. Very slowly, very gradually, but it got better. I like to think something switched in Ryuunosuke with the Moby Dick fight, and he started to change. And if he had to change, he decided to start from his relationship with Gin, because she's the person he cares about the most. He tried to be there for her more often, tried to spend more time with her, and it made her so happy. It took a while, and it was a little awkward at first: after all, Ryuunosuke is still his brooding self, who will tell her “It's been a while // Let's go home” with a frown on his face; but even despite that, what matters is that he's still there where he wasn't before, he's there wanting to spend time with her, and Gin is overjoyed by it, and she smiles sweetly to him. They're fixing their bond together, and I think they will get there! I think they will get their close-to-normal siblings relationship.

Differently from Ryuunosuke, Gin actually grew to quite like her job, especially after the Black Lizard was born. Hirotsu soon enough became the closest to a father figure she could have ever wished for. And she has lots of fun with Tachihara– in a way, they share much more of a siblings relationship than she and Ryuunosuke ever had. They constantly jab at each other, they have inside jokes; they threaten each other's lives on the daily but unfailingly have each other's back in battle. Gin eventually opened up a lot to Tachihara, who she felt like was the only one who could really understand her; she had found a solid common ground in their shared experience of having a distant older brother they struggled to connect with. And she trusted the sentiment was mutual, that Tachihara opened up to her as much as she did to him, completely oblivious to his half-truths. When she found out he was a spy– when he told her he was a spy, it broke her. She felt deeply, thoroughly betrayed; it changed her. She's not much the forgiving type. (talked about the Black Lizard dynamics some more here)

#Also as in: me giving female characters the complexity author doesn't care enough to give them #But I've slowly grown to have such a precise perception of Gin's character that I supposed I could as well write it down #although once again it has NO canon basis #gin akutagawa #ryūnosuke akutagawa #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #my analysis #mine #q. #26/12/22 #I opened this saying “meet my Gin oc” and yet spent most of it only talking with her relationship with Ryuunosuke #I'm so extremely embarassed for that and I apologize 😭😭 #But it really is hard not to talk about character B when handling character A who's is literally born from a novel of character B's namesak #and who's only canon info we have literally is being character B's sister 😭😭😭😭 #But also like. I really like Gin and Ryuunosuke's relationship for what it does to both their characters‚ Ryuunosuke as well! #I think it really adds to his character beyond the “obsessed with Dazai's approval”‚ you know. #Btw: Gin drinks coffee like Ryuunosuke drinks tea #And neither of them can cook. They carry on through leftovers and what Hirotsu / Tachihara / Higuchi brings them

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

#asks #Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole) #I know exactly how these people function because I was there once... #When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do #Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care #All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did) #I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing? #I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else #People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified #It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic #I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally #I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol #Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized #'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man' #It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly. #There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now #Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently #Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context #So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care

[traitorsinsalem]

i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.

speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.

#succ speaks #also i thought people were only like this online but being at a lac. people really just do this to people they know irl. #like they actually just say things. having to listen to a girl call ross gay 'fruity' in a poetry class and then like a week later... #...a guy who i was kinda friends with but also hung out with a total of like 5 times decided yeah sure i can call the group chat faggots #just......wow. people really live like this. and not even 8th grade gsa attendees who are still learning. young adults in the workforce. #i also think this sort of faux solidarity is why this same demographic desperately tries to express personal parallels to experiences... #...they have never gone through and/or cannot possibly go through. something about slowly losing the ability to listen and needing to talk. #<- also sorry to sound like a psych major but egocentric approaches to social media has done irreversible damage to so many young ppl... #...but at the same time we (young ppl on social media) are to blame because social media platforms are egocentric by design. #being invested in onesself isn't a cause of shitheadedry but a lot of people have really just gotten so dismissive of others it's insane. #also idk pretend i made a solid link between this and The Lost Art Of The Sincere Apology And Taking Accountability #this is just me parroting a convo i had w some friends at lunch 2day btw. posting it online bc someone probably needs to see this. #<- AS IN. ppl have definitely thought the same thing and need to see it articulated not that someone needs to feel called out by it #feeling called out by this would be like. a personal problem to sort out

[mandaloriandragontrainer]

Good morning world I am awake and mad at Rayla and mad at Callum and mad at Wonderstorm good day!

#trying reallllly hard not to be salty on main #I’m going through the stages of grief in reverse because yesterday I was sobbing in despair and today I’m MAD #at rayla for showing back up (1) without an apology (2) without an explanation and then (3) going after viren again??? #at callum for (1) icing her out instead of just yelling and getting it over with (2) not taking up her offers to talk so he COULD #and (3) LETTING HER GO AFTER VIREN ALONE /AGAIN/ #and at wonderstorm for writing this disaster and siphoning all the love and comfort out of my adorable soft sweet comfort ship #so yeah I still need to watch it again slowly but rn it’s my least favorite season and I don’t really want to watch again? #the dragon prince #callum #rayla #rayllum #tdp spoilers #tdp critical #just in case #mando ramblo

[yellowheartz]

The weirdest quirk I could ever have is apparently wanting to love rather than to be loved. I just got called weird for not being the same as those angsty sayings that people obsess over so much. 🙂

Like.. what did I do to you, man? I'm sorry for not being the "loving someone you can't have" or the "always loving not the loved" like wtf. People have their own shit going on, just because the trend is to be an angsty little bitch, trying to copy other people's angst, doesn't mean everyone you know has to.

#yellow talks #yellow rants #ahur ahur im not like other girls ahur ahur ur so weird why are u so desperate ahur ahur #well my sincerest apologies but why are YOU so pathetic??? #being in love is such a beautiful thing to experience even if its not romantic #just knowing there is someone you can dedicate so many of your talents to #to think about someone all the time that you just slowly become crazy #its so beautiful and it hurts and i love that #the feeling is so strong in my heart #but APPARENTLY thats weird nowadays??? ok angst lord #block me if ur a trend lover who wants to angst over shit ur not experiencing at all

[farfromstrange]

Okay, guys, I am so sorry for telling you I’m back and writing and then dipping for days.

I’m currently busy apartment hunting and there is a lot of bureaucracy that comes with even looking at one, especially since I’m a student who doesn’t even know if the university of my choosing is going to take me.

Chances are they’ll take me because there’s no requirements whatsoever, I just had to hand in my report card and personal information for insurance reasons and then I’ll be put on a list (if they don’t throw me out).

However, landlords here want proof that you’ll actually move there and since it’s a completely different State three hours away, who knows if she’s gonna say yes.

There’s going to be tons of different people there, so let’s see. It’s only one of the apartments I found because the others haven’t mailed me back yet, but I’m going to remain hopeful. There’s still time, and there are a lot of uncertainties that are still there.

But yeah, that’s the reason I haven’t been active on here, and I’m also exhausted 24/7 for no reason at all and I just want to sleep all day. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s just general exhaustion, who knows.

I’ll try to post the next chapter of Chaos Theory today, but you’ll have to wait a little longer for the Matt content.

Thank you for being patient with me🤍

#lizzi talks #just me rambling #lizzi updates #kinda #adulting is no joke #my brain is not fully developed yet why do i have to do all this paperwork #i’m just a baby #but anyway #chaos theory coming soon #michael kinsella x reader #and the matt content is only slowly coming along and i apologize #some of y’all have been waiting for ages #i’m really bad at this and i forget a lot of stuff #and my current hyperfixation is michael kinsella #so let’s hope i get into my matt Phase again very soon #like tomorrow #it varies from day to day

[ridiasfangirlings]

（Hope that by the time you get to this ask, your injury has already healed.) What if Fushimi is asked to take a few days off after a long period of overtime, and Munakata even takes away his computer or something to prevent him from secretly working. So Fushimi goes home reluctantly and complains to Yata (post-S2 and they are living together), and Yata's like it's not that bad look I actually can take a few days off from work too it will be fun to hung out a bit (maybe the store he works at is under some renovation?)

So they stay at home for a week or two together and barely meet up with other people. They chat and play video games and watch scary movies. It is really a nice time for both of them. But then the small vacation ends. How do you think Fushimi would adjust to suddenly entering into the world again? (Like, he may have gotten a bit used to seeing Misaki 24/7 and stuff.) Or would this be a promise they make? Like once in a while they would spend a few days with just each other. Thanks in advance for answering this question!

I believe the correct word for this kind of vacation would be ‘honeymoon’ XD Maybe there’s some huge S4 mission that Fushimi takes part in, he’s been working nonstop for nearly a month in order to handle everything. Say he also gets mildly injured, like nothing major but he pulls a muscle in his leg or something and Munakata uses this as a good excuse to tell Fushimi to take some time off. Of course Fushimi resists, like there’s way too much to do to just take time off, but Munakata is very insistent — now that the big operation is over he’s expecting they’ll have some downtime and Fushimi’s worked harder than anyone, he needs to take a week off with no work whatsoever. He even takes Fushimi’s computer away, telling him in no uncertain terms to go take time off and relax.

Fushimi’s unhappy about this obviously and when he goes to meet Yata for drinks that evening for the first time in a while he’s complaining about it. Yata listens and shakes his head like only you would complain about being given a week vacation. Fushimi clicks his tongue and Yata gets a little shy as he mentions that the skateboard shop he works at is undergoing renovations so he actually has the week off as well. He was thinking he’d just hang out at home all day playing video games and practicing on his board but since Fushimi has time off too maybe they can spend the time together. Fushimi looks surprised at that and Yata gives him this shaky smile, like we haven’t really spent more than an evening together right, it would be nice to just get to know each other again and keep each other company. Fushimi’s heart starts beating a little faster but he nods and agrees. 

They end up spending the whole week holed up at Yata’s place, eating takeout and playing games, maybe Yata tries to teach Fushimi to skateboard and they even set off fireworks from the roof like they always wanted to do. At first maybe it’s a little awkward, both of them a little shy and fumbling because it’s like when they were kids but also not and they’re both really aware of the passage of time. But slowly all that awkwardness melts away and they’re both having the greatest time, falling right back into the old middle school habits and it’s like no time has passed at all, they still just click perfectly. 

Eventually the week ends and Fushimi is probably reluctant to admit how much he was getting used to this, being with Misaki again every day. I feel like they would definitely decide to start doing this regularly, like at least once a month they spend a weekend or something just the two of them. I could also see this leading to Fushimi moving back in with Yata, even if only part time — like Yata knows Fushimi has work stuff and his apartment isn’t super big anyway and Fushimi has his place at the dorms, but if he wants to leave some stuff here like a change of clothes, a toothbrush, if he wants his own key…Yata would like to be a place Fushimi can come back to any time he wants. They might not be able to go back to middle school when the world was only the two of them but they can still have their own small world here every now and again inside the larger one, a place that’s still just for the two of them.

#sarumi #Talking K #oh oh I like this #imagine them just slowly getting more used to each other #and maybe a first kiss happens :3c #like imagine this with the two of them slowly realizing how much they love each other #and Fushimi realizes he doesn't want to stop seeing Yata every day #(also I have graduated to crutches now!) #(apologies for the still inconsistent schedule though I have to go to bed early still bc other people take my dog out for me) #(so I can't stay up to finish asks like I used to bc my dog goes to bed with me and I can't lift her onto the bed yet)

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#now my aunt is in remission... #a lot is happening and i feel the loneliest I've felt since high school #I've only been getting worse since my family denied what i went through and sat there and told me i wasn't probably remembering it correctly #i know what it was like growing up even if it comes back to me in spurts.. #but they really have started to make me doubt myself and its the worse cause they never apologized for the neglect and abuse #and they all took their side and acted like i was mistaken and said “ i never saw it happened do it didn't happen #and now i dont even talk to the only two friends i had cause i dont feel the same #if i don't text them first they never ever message me first or even check on me #and im always the one being there for them and listening to them and im just tired lf it all #i dont want a future anymore and im slowly losing my grip ive held on do tight even at my loneliest and now i feel like im losing #i was never anyone's best friend and everyone of the people ive called friends were always closer to someone else #ive only always had myself but im losing hope for the future and i just feel so extremely empty again #i just want to end this feeling and the weed isnt working anymore and working out doesnt work... i need God ive been so far away from him.. #Im just slowly losing it more and more im tired of being the friend everyone goes to for advice and laughs or enjoyment #im tired of it so much #the only time i feel joy is the bliss i feel when i sleep and even that joy is never truly felt cause i constantly fight my sleep #i only sleep when my body forced it self to cause i can't naturally just go to sleep st s set time anymore.. #im so tired of being people's escape or advice person I'm probably only saying this for the overwhelming feeling #of being a colossal failure and disappointment even so i still try snd try and fail some more #why don't i quit I just dont know why its just something in me that has some glimmer of self hope ive only tried to kms once and failed #maybe ima bit glad i failed but apart of me laughs cause i even failed at kms and find it ironic cause i fail at so many things #im so incapable of salvaging some semblance of normality or consistency #Mr.inconsistent that i am and have been but i refuse to let myself end that way i have to fight for something even in this haze of mine.. #i just want to be better why cant i get better and stay good.. maybe it hurts more than i let on finally speaking of what happened #and for them to deny it may have really affected me a lot snd i am just now seeing it manifest it self now ... #i just gotta live with it and just TRY to do better every single day snd in every single situation snd action i take...

[inavagrant-a]

Good evening gamers. I shall be chilling here and on @caelsu (hsr blog). Will be prioritizing plotting messages. Hope you're all having a good one!

#out. #mr lion man on the brain (jing yuan) #i'm gonna e6 him awraxa #if you have me on discord feel free to hit me up there #work kicked my ass last night #so i slept for ten (10) hours #my brain is still slowly catching on so if we talking #and i say something that doesn't make sense #i apologize awraxa

[wishi-selfships]

HEWWO WISHI ( ≧∀≦)ノ

I yam interested in knowing a bit more about your ship with Kazuichi!! When you've got the time of course, any ideas or facts, I'd love to hear them🫶

🍪<- cookie for you

(Grins evilly) HAIII FLAKE >■</!!!!! So glad you sent this bc now I get to think about GabiDen 2.0 (so sorry StarSoda/KazWish for calling you guys that. If anything Gabi and Denji are StarSoda 2.0 if you really think about it [Kazuichi was the first shark toothed guy i ever unofficially f/o'd. This is some serious irl Wishi lore])

▪︎ Despite being in the class below Kazuichi, Wishi's actually the oldest !! Not by much, just by a couple of months (She's born in April, he's born in June)

▪︎ Kazuichi and Wishi met due to Sonia, actually !! Sonia and Wishi became friends due to fact that both of them were technically transfers. They'd hang out sometimes either during or after school, and considering Kazuichi's infatuation with Sonia, it was only a matter of time until they crossed paths with one another.

▪︎ Their dynamic is 100% "[A] fell first; [B] fell harder" with Wishi being A and Kazuichi being B. Except Wishi did fall first then proceeded to fall harder because of course she did.

▪︎ In a normal AU, Wishi fell for Kazuichi during their school years, but lacked the courage to do anything about it at the time. Meanwhile, Kazuichi would've realized he caught feelings for Wishi if not for the events that happened, which for lack of better term, distracted him from that. Wishi sort of got a do-over during SDR2 when they were both in the Neo World Program (which is its own story as to why she's in there), where she, in fact, ended up falling first AGAIN. But this time, Kazuichi finally fell harder (hallelujah)

□ However, in a non despair AU, things go slightly better ! And by slightly I mean The End never kick starts because I blended Junko Enoshima so now StarSoda gets to have a silly HS romance >■< In Which Wishi falls first and goes "ohno" because he's like. OBSESSED with Sonia and also because Wishi + Crushes = flustered hell and delusions too maybe. And Kazuichi FINALLY realizes that he's fallen HARD because "oh cute girl who's like really nice to me and is cute and probably likes me?? And is cute and is my friend who's actually been great and is also CUTE!?!" yaeah ♡♡ This time though Wishi actually ends up doing smthn about it. And by that I mean Kazuichi asked her out sometime in his third year bc he didn't have much time left and wanted to get at least a CHANCE at some Highschool romance. Wishi said yes. And by "say yes" I mean she was right about to ask HIM out too (with the same reasoning as him) and went "o.oh you were gonna. ah. okay guess I don't need this anymore" secretly hides heartfelt card she made bc she was too afraid to confess verbally (he got the card anyway)

▪︎ After some time of being friends, Wishi mentioned that she made silly little webcomics in her free-time and Kazuichi near BEGGED her to add him in one. And she went "I'm not doing THAT. EVER!!!" and then immediately added him in the background as a bg character in the newest web comic she was working on.

▪︎ Speaking of. Wishi almost always doodles Kazuichi whenever she's drawing warm up sketches. She's got a little sketchbook and almost all of the pages have some sort of Souda drawing on them. You can actually track her improvement when it comes to drawing him.

▪︎ In HS, they were the couple who technically weren't a couple but . Everyone could tell. "Yeahhh they defo have smthn going on" because they DIDD so then when they actually got together nobody was all that surprised about it.

▪︎ Not much changed when they went from friends to dating in terms of their dynamic, except Kazuichi got, like... REALLY super giddy near the beginning of their relationship. Almost to the point where he was but a liiiittle bit overwhelming. But Wishi knew it was from a place of genuine excitement, and he chilled out a little eventually!!

▪︎ I wanna say that they’re both super affectionate to the point where their friends go “yuck!!” at the PDA but really? I don’t think they’d get thaaat bad about it! While Kazuichi is 100% ready to go HAM with PDA, Wishi is a bit more tactful.

□ … THOUGH WISHI HAS HER MOMENTS!!! She’s definitely a repeat offender of sneaking behind Kazuichi and just completely GLOMPING the hell out of him. Sneaks up behind and jumps on his back ,, koala hugs him too,, Almost NEVER fails to scare the socks off of him!! But then he realizes it’s his GF and he goes from terrified to shakily happy :3c

▪︎ Wishi likes to draw her and Kazuichi together, or just make general art that he’d like, while Kazuichi likes making little trinkets for Wishi!!

□ They've both made eachother little charms and keychains for the other!! Wishi drew out a design and made one out of clay for Kazuichi, while Kazuichi worked overnight on a cute little trinket using the parts of two watches and also a couple of coke cans. It was a very pretty charm that had a neat flashlight function!!

▪︎ I like to think that somewhere in the future, they move in together 💭💭 They probably adopt a cat together (Kazuichi found a cat in the engine of an old car and brought it home and Wishigot attached quickly). Wishi probably ended up publishing her webcomic as a physical thing while Kazuichi finally got to finish that bike project he was working on, as well as being able to open his own mechanic .. um. Shop? I forgot the right word, mb

□ That’s all in a non-despair AU though. In a normal AU, they don’t live together… Technically. Wishi visits Jabberwock Island for half a year annually and lives with Kazuichi when she does, but she does have to leave the island to do her work as a Future Foundation Member (while FF started rebuilding Hopes Peak, I honestly doubt that there still wasn’t other work to be done. She keeps busy tending to Hopes Peak, as well as outside work that the Future Foundation assigns her to do). Fortunately, though, it didn’t really cause a lot of problems in the long run! It was a little difficult at first, but it definitely helped that they kept up contact when Wishi was away! Plus, Wishi started taking quick two-three day visits during the months she’s mainly working just so that the wait isn’t as long/unbearable.

#selfship #self ship #TY 4 THE COOKIE >■</🍪!!! Very yummy :3c #As far as StarSoda goes I had more story-based points rather than generally fluffy nonsense like with GabiDen #i. dont have an excuse for that tbh whoopsie dasiy ☆ #BUT WAAA ITS SO GOOD TO TALK ABT KAZUICHI >■<!!!!! my repressed feelings for him are slowly trickling out #dw I'll be swimming with ideas in no time. maybe #formal apology to makoto btw. ur my og danganronpa f/o pookie and you'll have your time again but .... souda's turn #🔧StarSoda [ship] #🔧Kazuichi Soda [romantic f/o] #The “Star” in “StarSoda” comes from the term “Wish Upon a Star”. Cause her name is Wishi. [Wish]i. TY Ana ily 🫶🏽🫶🏽 #or did *I* come up with that? i forgor tbh #wishi rambles #takasgf tag

[tj-crochets]

🐸 (for the ask game)

🐸 What do you wish people who don't craft understood better? That crafting things is not usually cheaper than buying them, and that it takes a lot of time and effort to make things But also, one specific non-crafter pet peeve. Like, literally I have had this problem with one person: making someone a beanie is not a way of asking for some kind of committed relationship. There was this guy I was good friends with in high school, and we lost touch for a year or two afterwards, and then he reached out to me on facebook. We chatted a bunch, and (crucially) this was after I started crocheting but before I figured out what to actually do with the stuff I crocheted. He talked about it being cold where he was living compared to where we both grew up, so I offered to crochet him a beanie, and we'd been talking about pokemon and our favorite eeveelutions a lot, so I offered to send him an amigurumi espeon To me, this was a combo of "I make a LOT of things all the time*", "I have zero use for beanies it never gets below like 60 degrees here", and "hey eeveelutions sound fun to make but I have no desire or space to keep them", which combined with "hey! a person I can give these to! Give him something he likes, get things I've made out of my house so I'm not overrun, win-win!" To him, this was "I am spending a lot of time and effort to make something especially for you, after giving you a nickname important to my culture**, clearly I expect our relationship to progress after this" He stopped talking to me. For years. Because I'd offered to make him a beanie and an espeon. He told me the offer of the beanie made him uncomfortable? Which, like, fair, if it made him uncomfortable I am glad he let me know and drew a boundary, but I am still baffled. So I guess the thing I wish non-crafters understood better is that, while gifting someone something you made can be a big deal, it can also be not a big deal at all. I have literally given more beanies to strangers than I have to people I know (I donate them to a local shelter) OH MY GOSH I just realized I sweater cursed myself but with a beanie with someone I wasn't dating lol. The unsweater unboyfriend curse *I cannot sit still unless I am doing something, and I found making physical objects is very very good for my mental health so I am pretty much always making something and have been since like...2012ish? 2011? Definitely since 2013, but I'm pretty sure it started earlier than that **It wasn't. He gave me a nickname around the same time I briefly interacted with my bio grandpa, who is Russian. The association with my bio grandpa did not last long (like...one visit) but I learned and really liked the word solnyshko (it means "sunshine" but is used like "sweetheart" and I think that's cute). I also really liked the word "chickadee" as a nickname/term of endearment at the time so like...it was 50/50 which one I was going to use? I'd never really been given a nickname before but figured it was the sort of thing I was supposed to reciprocate

#long post #ask away! #crafter ask game #longagocostumeco #I got a wee bit side tracked from the question lol #I am still baffled and it's been years #like...crafts can be a big deal to gift #I have things my friends have made for me and I love them #and I'm (slowly) making quilts for friends and family and those take a while and are made with love #but like...I kind of think making things for fellow crafters is different? #like. okay. beanies #the beanie I made for this dude was a plain dc beanie with yarn from walmart. might have taken me an hour and a half tops to make #it was a practical thing #I made a beanie for a friend of mine who also crochets last year #and was like...she'll notice and love the details #so I went with a really nice yarn and an intricate pattern with like cables and stuff #idk. I guess it's the intentions that matter? #he and I did start talking again a few years later but then he handled me being disabled spectacularly badly #but! that's a separate story. and he did apologize (years later) #but we haven't really spoken since

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

#Ramble #Sorry I just took my sleeping pills lol #Seepy

[rainerghost]

Vent

When someone manages to unintentionally press your buttons while you're still feeling kinda emotionally tender because something during class reminded you of a thing and now you feel angry, guilty and godawful in general because of it

#vent post i guess #bonus points if you were having a great time beforehand causing the bad emotions to be even more of a shock to the system #hell while were on the whole venting topic... #i got too happy and exited which caused me to say something cringe and now i feel the inescapable urge to apologize for it or else it will #slowly eat me up inside #and every time i start to write out a little “hey sorry for being cringe lol” i know that the response to it will be #“you dont have to apologize for it lol” which will make me feel stupid so then i erase the apology but then i get the urge to #apologize again and its just not very fun. also i dont really trust myself to talk to people rn bc bad emotions and stuff so thatll be #bugging me until it goes away #the world really made my brain and was like “womp womp motherfucker” and gave me issues. i could create an entire other vent realating to #this but i will not

[hiimnothere1]

Imagine punish a brat by tying them down and overstimming them with toys. They start off defiant and curse you while cumming a few times.

"F-Fuck you"

"I hate y-you"

"Y-You suck"

So you just sit there, keeping them nice and stimulated while they cum over and over again until they need to use you for support and start breaking.

"fuckfuckfuck"

"You're doing so good, darling. We'll keep going until you learn your lesson"

Until they start begging and apologizing for being a brat for no reason.

"pleasepleasepleaseimsorryitwonthappenagain"

When they're clearly overstimmed and tired but you just keep pushing them anyway.

"P-Please it's too much, I can't cum anymore" they'll whine and whimper

But you just keep going until they orgasm again.

"What are you talking about? You clearly can keep going, you liar"

So you punish them for "lying" to you with more overstimulation, watching them slowly spiral more out of control as their consciousness slips.

Completely an imaginary situation though

#bd/sm brat #bd/sm kink #overstim #overstim kink #bd/sm slave #cnc overstim #humiliation kink #cnc k!nk #bd/sm pet #degrading k1nk #d0m/sub #r@pe kink #r@pe k!nk #r@pe fantasy #overstim nsft #cnc free use #free use kink #free use slvt #corruption kink #bd/sm sadist #sadist kink #sadist dom #petpl4y

[drdemonprince]

If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway.  Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free.  Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity.  You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find.  Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.”  As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries. 

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