#Sorry I just took my sleeping pills lol

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

#Ramble #Sorry I just took my sleeping pills lol #Seepy

[singmyaubade]

hi!! i was wondering if you could write a smutty story about sub!james? literally anything, pls🙏🏻

warning: mentions of smut and cursing

sub!james x female!reader

a/n: i did not proofread, i'm sorry if this was not what you were expecting LOL.

james never had any performance issues in his life.

he always managed to be a stallion in bed, giving nothing less and everything more. being a 'sex god,' in his own words, was one of the things he always took pride in.

it was his wings, the only thing that could cheer him up when all else failed.

if quidditch was his first passion, snogging girls was a definite second.

so when ruby weathers, a girl with the best bum in james's year, gives him a chance to sleep with her.

he has no choice but to.

james was ecstatic, practically jumping off of the walls. this was his moment, his opportunity once again to prove himself. there wasn't a single nerve in his body; he never underestimated his more large and not-so-average buddy down there.

before he knew it, he was in his perfect bedroom with weathers, relishing her getting on her knees to suck his cock.

and then, everything came to a halt.

after twenty minutes of her doing that, his buddy refused to get up. he felt the arousal, but his mind and cock were in different places.

after she complained about her jaw locking for the twenty-second time, he decided to get straight to the point. but even when he fucked her, he couldn't get hard.

eventually, ruby just told him awkwardly that it was okay and things clearly weren't working despite him asking her to try a few things. they didn't even exchange last words before she left.

and when she did, he was embarrassed, frustrated, in fact.

he didn't think weathers was the type to tell people's sex business or even gossip for that face.

he knew he was wrong when sirius came urgently yelling, "prongs, your dick is broken?!"

and that was, for sure, the icing on the cake.

he tried everything that didn't involve taking a particular little pill to perform.

he tried spells, teas, and even a massage, but nothing worked. he even thought he was attracted to other things, but it was no point.

eventually, his friends were all sensing his depression. he couldn't even play quidditch properly.

marlene, who felt no sympathy at all, even tried to cheer up james, but it was a loss. he completely lost himself through the entire thing, and yes, it might have been stupid for some people, but it meant a lot to him.

but then dorcas pulled him aside.

"go to the room written here on saturday after lunch," dorcas handed him the card. he looked at her, entirely confused, raising his eyebrow.

"i have a friend who helps with that kind of stuff," she tilted her head, "but don't tell anyone where you are going, and make sure to tell her that i sent you," she instructed to which he nodded and muttered a thank you before dorcas rushed off.

and when saturday after lunch was right there, he didn't know what to do, his fist knocking on your door lightly.

then he saw you, yawning when you opened the door. your hair perfectly laid, wearing a matching pink tank top and shorts that hugged your thighs most comfortably. your nipples were perked up through your tank top, making him swallow.

"eyes are up here, pretty boy." you tased as his face grew red.

"m’sorry," he stuttered, "i was told to uh- i mean, dorcas sent me here."

you looked at him questioningly, "and why did she do that?" you asked, pursing your lips.

"she said you could help me with my uh problem," he whispered, looking around.

"golden boy having a problem that i have to fix?" you tsked, smirking, "interesting." you moved aside to let him, walking to your own bed.

he took that opportunity to look at your ass which was 'bloody fantastic,' he thought. he stood there gawking at you, not knowing if he should come in.

"you coming in or?" you flattered, to which he came in immediately, shutting the door.

he stood there like a scarecrow before you giggled, "come sit with me," you patted the spot next to you on the bed.

he nervously fiddled with his fingers as you placed your hand on his hand to calm him down, "what problems are you having?"

he stayed silent, clearly embarrassed, "james," you grabbed his chin so he looked at you, "i'm here to help you, not judge you,"

he took a deep breath, "i am having trouble during sex."

"what kind of problems?" you asked, using your thumb to brush his fingers.

"i can't get hard," he admitted, looking down.

he was prepared for you to laugh, even mock him for having such a stupid problem, but you still maintained a compassionate face.

"okay," you said, "and when did you start having that problem," you asked.

"two weeks ago," he muttered.

"and have you tried anything new? maybe something new in your sex life?" you suggested.

"i've tried everything i can think of; it's just not happening." he was frustrated.

"okay then let's try everything you haven't thought of." you half-joked.

"like what?" he asked, making eye contact with you.

"hmm," you tapped your chin, "first things first, are you more dominant or submissive?"

"uh," he said, genuinely not knowing.

"okay that's fine, i'll find out," you replied, sounding sure.

"and are you okay with being intimate with me?" you asked.

he could feel his face turning bright red, "y-yeah that's fine, i mean if you are fine with it but if you're not, its okay, i do-"

you kissed him, cutting him off. your tongue entangling his, hand on his thigh. you grabbed his hand, putting it on your breast as his other hand went to your cheek.

you pulled away from him as he whimpered, "what do you want me to do, james?" you asked.

"i don't know," he answered, drunk off your lips.

"can i suck you off, baby?" you asked, your eye contact ripping him into pieces.

"y-yes." he answered nervously as you got onto your knees.

you touched his belt, unbuckling it as you reached up to kiss him one last time. you palmed him through his boxers, not feeling him get hard yet, but you were patient.

you pulled him soft out of his boxers, stroking him fully. he was big even soft which you admit made you dripping in your panties.

your tongue did a long stripe on his cock, making him moan. you sucked on his tip first, putting your hand on his thigh as his hand palmed into a fist.

you put him deeper in your mouth, letting him hit the back of your throat as he whined. you grabbed his hand, unfisting it, interlocking your hand in his.

you continued bobbing your head up and down his length, your other hand stroking whatever you couldn't fit in your mouth.

james continued holding your hand, holding it tighter when you sucked his tip.

"is it good, jamie?" you asked, breathing a bit hard.

"so good," he whimpered.

that's when you finally felt him getting hard, when you talked to him.

"you are doing so well for me," you complimented, "you are being so good."

he groaned at your words as you continued sucking him off, him being fully erect now.

"so big," you managed to say with his cock inside your mouth.

his cock twitched inside your mouth and you knew he was near when he gripped your hand tightly.

"you can do it," you muffled through his cock, the vibrations sending him.

james closed his eyes, leaning his head back before cumming inside of your mouth.

"i wanna kiss you," he whined as you smiled, kissing him with his cum inside of your mouth as it slobbed over both of your chins.

your mouth invaded his as he moaned inside of your mouth. his hands touched your top, tugging at it. you could tell that he wanted it off of you.

"you wanna take off my top for me, jamie?" you asked as he nodded.

you let him take your top off as you straddled his lap, him latching on your nipple as soon as he could which earned a moan from you. his spit all over your chest, your nipples swollen.

you raised off of him for a second to take off your shorts as he looked at you in awe with his big, brown eyes.

you straddled him again, aligning his cock with your hole. he continued sucking on your nipple as you sat down on him and he groaned.

"fuck," you said, "stretching me out."

he was hardening inside of you again, getting drunk off of your pussy.

he whimpered as he hit the spongy spots inside of you. you started a slow speed and once it stopped stinging, you went faster.

he held onto your body tightly, not letting you go. he mewled the faster you went, his cock twitching inside of you due to the immense pleasure.

"so needy baby," you moaned, bouncing up and down.

he hit the perfect spot inside of you as you tried not to grow hazed in pleasure.

"i can't hold it in, mommy." he said, you being a bit surprised at his wording.

"it's okay baby," you soothed, "you can cum." you smoothed the back of his hair.

you kept riding him until he came, not worried about your release. he came with a whimper, sensitive.

"i wanna taste you mommy," he groaned with you still inside of him as he softened inside of you.

"next time jamie, this was for you right now," you grinned, kissing him delicately on his lips.

you tried letting him go but his grip on you was still there, not wanting you to leave.

"i'm not gonna go anywhere," you calmed, him still inside of you.

"i just wanna cuddle for a while," he said.

"okay, we can do that." you gave him a reassuring smile, laying the both of you down, entangled in each other as you gave a peck to his nose.

your eyes fluttered closed as james admired you.

and before he slept, he knew that he definitely owed dorcas his life.

#sub!james potter #james smut #james potter smut #james x you #james x reader #singyouraubade💕 #singmyaubade #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #marauders era #hp #hogwarts #harry potter #tw mature #marauders #harry potter marauders #the marauders #the marauders smut #remus lupin #fluff #desperate!james #james potter x you #hot y/n #y/n #reader #cursing #needy!james #james potter scenario #james potter blurb

[writer-by-the-sea]

hello!! may i request something fluffy where a touch starved elliott is visited by a farmer who can’t sleep and wants to cuddle with him? they’re not yet dating, but there’s EXTREME romantic tension between them

Slightly BARELY NSFT, No beta, no spell check lol

The storm raged outside, the lighting illuminating my cabin, each flash of light shortly accompanied by thunder that roared so loudly it shook my bed. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, the rain beating down on the roof and providing me with the white noise I would normally crave; but now I laid there disturbed by the storm and sleep continues to evade me.

I let my thoughts slip to the farmer… Weeks ago they told me how they can’t have trouble sleeping through the night, that they were considering pills to help them through the night. I couldn’t help by wonder how they were fairing this night. Were they just as frustrated as I? Tossing and turning under the covers and considering giving up and waiting for the morning?

All I knew was that tomorrow would be a day with many cups of coffee, perhaps even an espresso or two.

I leaned over, reaching for my bedside lamp, flicking the switch with well rehearsed practice— only for the light to ignore me. I blinked at the light, tapping the switching again, and then once more..

“Lovely,” I mumbled and stood. The power was out.

Near my desk sat an oil lamp, one that I preferred to save for emergencies; I suppose this fell into that category. I considered what I would do with my time now, writing coming across my mind. Although, as of late, anything I’ve written has only been conveying my sappy and desperate need for the touch of another.

For far too long I’ve lived in this cabin alone. Something I thought I would enjoy, but I find myself feeling more and more lonely as each day passes. These days it’s gotten to the point where I find myself starved for attention. I wander around town more often than ever, finding excuses to see the others (mostly the farmer,) and I go on to bore them with tales of my unsuccessful writings.

With my lamp lit, I found my way back to my bed, my new plan for the night to reread over my pages and correct any mistakes I come across. Forever I will misspell at minimum ten words per page.

I may be a writer but I am no expert at spelling, ironic as it may be.

Just as I began to settle back in bed, there’s a knock at the door.

Unusual, but it wouldn’t be the first time Willy visited in the dead of the night. He might be in need of some snacks if he saw Sebastian earlier in the day, or asking for help to shovel rain water out of his shop again.

I groaned and slipped out of bed, now giving up on my plans and preparing myself for Willy’s visit. A night of fishermen’s stories and tellings of his childhood. Not that I minded it, but I would rather relax tonight..

The knocking came again, urging me to open it and let them in. Part of me was tempted to ignore it, to pretend to be sleeping and leave Willy on his own — as rude as it may be.

But then—

“Elliott?” A voice called from outside my door, helpless and scared.

I ran to the door, flinging it open to reveal the farmer standing there. Drenched from head to toe, but still smiling as I greeted them. “Oh my goodness!” I cried and stepped back, opening the door even further and ushered them inside. “You must be freezing! Please, come inside!”

The farmer quickly ducked in, wasting no time in kicking off their boots and closing the door behind them. “I’m sorry to drop by so late,” they began and removed their jacket. “I just—“

“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked and took their jacket. I hung it and then offered a towel.

They gave me a sheepish smile, nodding and accepting the towel. “Did I wake you?”

I waved them off. “No worries, I was awake. I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Is it okay if… I stay here a while?”

I could tell they were embarrassed to ask, scared even as they avoided my gaze. If not for the cold weather outside, I would think they were hiding heated cheeked. But that may have just been wishful thinking. “Of course!” I replied. “Stay as long as you like—“ I paused, looking over their drenched clothes and uncertain on how to phrase my next words. “Do you… perhaps need a change of clothes?”

The farmer looked down again, chewing their bottom lip and twisting their hands in front of themselves. “I don’t want to be a burden—“

“Nonsense!” I rushed to my dresser, plucking a few of my clothes out to present them. Mostly oversized clothing, things I haven’t worn in ages but I knew would be comfortable and warm. It would definitely be better than what they wore now, anyway. “Let me know if these are okay,” I said and handed the clothes over. “You can change in the bathroom if—“

“Thank you!” The farmer replied and took the offered clothing….

And then began to strip before me.

I gasped and spun around, heat flooding my cheeks from what I’d saw so little of. Soft, supple skin… A few minor scars across their body, no doubt from the farm and the mines… How I wished to turn back around and take them into my arms, to kiss every scar, to lick every curve, to worship and adore their body just as they deserved.

I held myself back, taking a breath and moving to my bed to readjust the blankets and pillows. I wasn’t sure what tonight would bring, I wanted to keep my hopes low but—

“You can turn back around.”

They stood there, my sweater hanging off one shoulder and my old pajama pants hanging low on their waist. “Sorry about that,” the farmer mumbled. “I was actually really cold and started changing without thinking.”

“It’s no problem.” I chuckled and took their wet clothes from them, moving to hang them in my bathroom. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

Once in the bathroom, I closed the door behind me. How could they look so adorable in my clothing….

I slowly hung their clothing, willing down the urge to run back out and pull the farmer into my arms. To compliment them on how cute they looked, to kiss across their exposed skin and slip my hands under the sweater they wore. To lead them into my bed and remove their borrowed clothing piece by piece—

“Fuck,” I whispered and stared down at the shirt I held. I forced myself to hang it up with everything else.

Tonight, the farmer came to me for a place to relax. For a place to hide out the storm. For a place they knew they could trust without a starving writers wandering hands all over their body. Their perfect, gorgeous, sexy, strong body.

I shook my head and stepped out of the bathroom, ready to chat with the farmer about the weather, about the night sky, about everything but my cravings to just touch them. But all of the words fell out of my mouth.

They laid in my bed, under the covers and flipping through one of my books from the library. The light of my lantern dancing across them, their beauty freezing me in place. A fantasy I’ve dreamt of a million times, only now I could do nothing. My breathing unsteady, the palms now sweaty, my throat dry and all words failing me as I let my eyes trail over them.

The farmer noticed me and scooted to the side of my bed, pushing themselves into the wall before patting the empty side. “It’ll be warmer under the covers,” was all they said before they looked back down at the book. A book that only detailed the secret to ‘writing an award willing novel.’ Something I knew they wouldn’t actually be interested in but…

I climbed into the bed and slid under the covers, biting my tongue when my leg brushed against their own. This couldn’t actually be happening, right? There was no storm outside and I was simply in a very deep sleep. If not for the warmth coming from the farmer, I may have actually believed I was dreaming…

The farmer leaned towards me, their head coming to rest on my shoulder, their book now closed and forgotten in their lap. I kept my eyes forward, my hands turning to fists as I let the weight of their head settle upon me. “This is nice,” they whispered and snuggled in a little further, one of their hands going to lap on my arm. “Do you mind?”

“No,” I muttered back, gulping as they shifted even closer, their arm now laying across my chest as they got more comfortable. “I— I don’t mind.”

My body felt like it was being doused in flames, feeling more aware than ever of everything around me. The rain coming back to my mind, softer than before as it fell across the roof, the thunder still rumbling outside but now miles away, the farmers hair as it brushed against my cheek, their arm as it laid over my fast beating heart, their thumb as it caressed my arm.

“I really appreciate you letting me come in tonight…” I could feel their breath across my neck, my body shivering as I let the feeling wash over me.

I took a breath, attempting to form the words. Their legs were on my own now, the farmer pulling me further into the bed and encouraging me to relax and our combined warmth made my eyes grow heavy.

“I’ve dreamt of this so many times,” I said, my voice a whisper as I finally gave me.

The farmer giggled, their laugh light and adorable… and bringing what I’d just said to light. “And? Is it everything you imagined?”

I sighed and wrapped one of my arms around them. “Even better.”

In the morning I would wake with the farmer still in my arms, their nose tucked into my neck and snoring softly. Our first night together that would become one of many.

#stardew elliott #sdv elliott #stardew valley elliott #elliott stardew valley #elliott sdv #elliot stardew valley #elliot stardew #sdv #stardew valley #sdv elliott x farmer #elliott x you #stardew elliott x farmer #elliott x reader #elliott x farmer #elliott stardew valley x reader #elliott stardew #stardew valley drabble #quick drabble #drabble #seaside writing #sdv fanfic #sdv farmer #gn!reader #farmer sdv #stardew valley farmer #long post

[klmp11s]

I have a killer headache so it’s influencing me: could I get Sebek, Flyod, Rook, and Idia caring for their partner with a bad headache 🤕 ❤️‍🩹

I hope your health has improved!! (English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes)

Summary: twst boys caring for their partner with a bad headache Characters: Floyd Leech, Rook Hunt, Idia Shroud, Sebek Zigvolt Warning: male!reader, ooc(?), hcs

Floyd Leech

He is my god, good luck to you, because I think that one of the reasons why you have a headache is HIM 

I think he will be a little upset that he can’t just pick you up and run away now. 

If you and him are in your dorm, then he just holds you in his arms while you lie on the bed with him. Are you really not feeling well?

I'm sure that at some point he will get bored, but okay, once he can tolerate it if his partner has a headache. 

HE WILL DEFINITELY SPEAK IN A HALF-WHISPER. 

Oh definitely one of his hands will stroke your head, and the other will draw circles on your back 

I'm sure HE will fall asleep faster than you in this position

But you know, you're definitely not going to move. Like, he just won't let you do it, you know? 

It will be just wonderful if you can also fall asleep with it, I’m not sure that your pain in your head will go away completely, but during this time you will certainly gain strength. 

I think 6/10, if he is in a good mood - 7.3/10

Rook Hunt

He found out about it before you even decided to tell him lol 

Like, he’s already in your room, but I don’t think you have the desire or strength to deal with it. 

Okay, now you can be a sleeping beauty while he takes care of you. 

Like, you've already taken the medicine before it takes effect, he pats your head or even gives you а little kiss on the forehead  If you can fall asleep, it will obviously begin to gently play with your hair. 

I don't think he will fall asleep with you, but he will definitely spend this time with you. Still, you’re not feeling well, how can he leave his wonderful partner in such a situation?

You will also most likely wake up feeling a VERY intense gaze on you. You know, on the one hand it’s nice when those beautiful green eyes look at you, but I think you could definitely be scared by this. But congratulations, this 100% took your mind off your headache. 

Maybe 9/10 if you could get some more sleep 

Idia Shroud

ORTHOOOOOO

Hmm, that's definitely the first thing that might come to his mind. I think he also gets headaches often, so you're in the same boat. 

It can definitely let you sleep on it, but it will definitely feel like wood in the bed at first . Where to put your hands? Are you sure you're comfortable? 

After a few minutes, he will adjust and gently stroke your head. I also think he would seriously ask Ortho to bring you some pills for your headache. 

He is also ready to turn off absolutely all the lights in the room if this also puts pressure on you 

But I think that after some time, when you know how, he will start playing some kind of game on the phone. 

He definitely won't fall asleep with you. His sleep pattern is literally a mess, even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to sleep, so he just lies with you and listens to your quiet breathing. 

9/10 Because Ortho was involved in this 

Sebek Zigvolt

HE WILL YELL AT YOU BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD, then in a moment he will understand and shut up. He doesn't want to make it worse for you, but could you take care of yourself?? 😡

He tries to speak in a whisper, but he will definitely scold you for being so careless

He will bring you everything you need with the most dissatisfied face. No, he loves and cares about you, he just doesn’t want you to feel bad, but he doesn’t know how to show it 

Even if he complains that he has a lot to do, he will let you fall asleep on him and will not move so that you are comfortable. 

He's willing to put up with absolutely anything if it means his partner will get better, but he definitely won't admit it. 

HE WILL KISS YOU ON THE HEAD but(!) Only if he is sure that you are sleeping, understand? 

I think after that Lilia could tease him, because Sebek behaves so sweetly with his partner 🤫☺️

8.9/10 if he hadn't yelled at you in the beginning and made your headache worse.

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners, please do not edit, translate, repost my works on other platforms, also without my permission and @

#twst x reader #twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #floyd leech x male reader #floyd leech x reader #rook hunt x male reader #rook hunt x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud x male reader #sebek zigvolt x male reader #sebek zigvolt x reader

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • V

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 9.9k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, mentions of drugs and alcohol (underage drinking mentioned during flashback!) Crime, pls don't do illegal things lol.

Authors note: Chapter Five- I Wish I wasn't Lost: its currently 1am and i am EXHAUSTED lol. I Do hope you enjoy though <3 Thank you for all the love and support on this story, I appreciate every single one of you <3 Songs are Lost in Echoes by Caskets and I wish I wasn't by unprocessed.

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! <3

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant @veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @thescarlettvvitch @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs @flowery-mess

This is an omen, a warning, a lesson to take So listen to the words that I say

I moaned as she slid down one more time and I gripped her hair, holding her still. I filled her tongue as threads of my release coated the back of her throat. The sight below me left my legs shaking as I pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ears, and rubbing my fingers underneath her chin in endearment.

What have I done?

“Good girls swallow,” I whispered and she moaned.

“Open,” I said, watching in complete reverence as she stuck out her tongue, showing me that she obeyed, drinking in all of me.

I leaned down towards her, pulling her chin up to kiss me as I melted into her lips, sighing with commitment.

What have I done?

+++++

NOAH

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

One week passed.

I had robbed a few houses, but nothing was valuable enough to compare to the price of Y/N’s drugs. I barely made 4.5k, just enough to keep up my goal of 645 a day; and I was trying to think of another move I could make to get more.

I brought the money and log to one of D’s bitches, snarling at the satisfied look on the man’s face as he ripped the envelope from my hands.

‘Having fun Sebastian? Surprised you even made this much yourself.’ It took everything in me to walk away without bashing his fucking face in.

As each day passed I was being eaten alive by guilt, and I could barely look at Y/N. She noticed the shift in my behaviour, persistently asking me what was wrong and if she had done something.

‘Nothing,’ I would say.

‘Just stressed,’ I would say.

The last night we spent together was the night I stole her meds. I couldn’t sleep as she clung to my lying body, gentle breaths escaping her lips while she slept peacefully. I had sobbed quietly next to her, afraid to wake the candid woman that lay delicately beside deceit.

That next morning I told her I’d sleep in the spare bedroom across the hall, and the look she gave me was agonizing.

‘Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know that the nightmares are hard to deal with.’ She had said, her eyes falling briefly before she attempted to hide her expression with a smile.

My heart yearned at her words, wanting to hold her against my chest, ready to block out all the evil in the world if it meant protecting her. It wasn’t the nightmares that pushed me away, it was myself.

‘I don’t want to invade your space more than I already am.’ I responded.

I watched her take her pills when she did, my chest clenching in shame with every sip of water that followed the lies.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley

The boys watched the remorse control me as I began to shut off the world, secluding myself from Y/N, and them.

I wish I wasn't a failure That nobody needs

“Noah?”

In the depths of my mind, I'm lost and confined A question gnaws at my core; I can't deny

“Noah.” Am I a mere illusion, a ghost in the crowd? Or do I carry a soul screaming out loud?

“Noah!”

I pulled out my earbuds at the call of my name, and my eyes squinted open. Ruffilo stood over me as I lay on the mattress in the basement, drowning in lyrics. The music blared from the removed bud as Nicholas glared, folding his arms.

I wish the voices in my head stopped their shrill tongues Just for a second so I could breathe some fresh air For a moment so I could stop sinking into despair I am a traitor in the face of myself

“Did you want to work on the song?” He asked, “Or are you wallowing in self-pity?”

A slave to a maggot that eats away my soul I ask the mountains to consume me as a whole How long will I be captured in this maze in the hail?

The song.

Y/N had hooked us up with a gig at Sammy’s tomorrow night, and Jolly had the brilliant idea of finishing our first-ever set with an original song; despite us never even playing for an audience. I wasn’t sure if I was more nervous about playing some shitty music in front of an audience of strangers, or that one of the audience members would be Y/N.

I shrugged at him, closing my eyes as I sunk into the pillow, placing the bud back in my ear.

“Nuh-uh,” Nicholas sighed as he leaned down to pull on the string of one, forcing me to listen, “you can’t wallow forever.”

“Watch me,” I glared, pulling the bud back from him as I sat up.

“You’ve ignored her for days, can’t you see how sad she’s been because of you? You fucked up, and you’re treating her as if she did something wrong.” Nicholas said sharply, “How’s that fair?”

I turned my head to avoid his targeting gaze, my eyes falling onto Jolly and Folio who pretended to be busy but listened to every word we said.

“She’s brought you your regular coffee every day after work Noah- because you haven’t even been going there.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my head hung in shame. She has?

I rolled my head back “I know. None of it is fair to her.”

“So,” Nicholas began, sitting on a chair by one of the walls as he watched me with careful eyes, “Stop taking your guilt out on her.”

I exhaled swiftly, standing from the mattress and tossing my earbuds into the sheets, “I just- I can’t look at her without feeling like she can see right through me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he questioned.

I scoffed, throwing my arm up as my frustration built, “Yes, it is because I stole her fucking pills and had to watch her swallow fake ones.” I began pacing around the room, shaking my head, “Pills that are supposed to be helping her, but are fabricated lies!”

Nicholas’ gaze followed me as I walked across the carpeted floor, eyebrows furrowed. Folio watched as well, his face falling. The guilt ate him too.

“She takes them thinking they’ll give her relief, but they don’t, and I took that away!” I stood still for a moment as I pushed the heel of my palms into my eyes, sighing audibly in conflict.

“You made a choice,” Nicholas stood up and I watched as he approached me, standing in front of me.

He peered into my eyes, a mix of anger and sorrow, “I hate seeing you like this Noah, but you fucked up.”

“I know I fucked up Nick,” My chest heaved as I began shaking. Nicholas wrapped his arms around me, squeezing my body gently.

“You need to tell her,” Nicholas said, placing a consoling hand on my shoulder.

I melted into his hug, holding my brother against me, “I can’t. Not yet, anyway.”

“So you’re just going to ignore her for weeks? Until everything with D is over?” Nicholas shook his head, “We live with her now. You won’t be able to avoid her, and you shouldn’t. Not after everything she’s done for you, for us.”

I pulled away from him, nodding in agreement, “I know; so I’ve been thinking…” I trailed off in thought.

“About?” Nicholas raised a brow.

“A pharmacy heist.”

“By yourself?” He watched me with amusement, “Are you crazy?”

I heard Jolly laugh in the corner and I quickly sent a glare in his direction.

“Of course I’m crazy,” I shrugged, “but I can get a fuck ton of money from this Vincent guy for getting pure shit.”

“Last time you did a big heist like that yourself was when we got into this mess in the first place. You don’t do big shit alone.”

+

The lights flickered around the room as I sat on the motel bed, my chest heaving with excitement. A seventeen-year-old Ruffilo sat beside me with the tattoo machine ready to brand my knuckles as twelve-year-old Folio watched eagerly.

“Today’s the day,” Jolly cheered, a wide smile stretching across his face as he threw a beer in my direction, “Our young padawan becomes a man.”

The can fumbled between my fingers as I looked down at it proudly, jittering with thrill. Jolly’s never let me drink before.

I opened the can in acceptance, hesitant to take the first sip with shaky hands, before bringing it up to my mouth. The beer was pungent and bitter, my lips puckering with furrowed brows; yeah, it was disgusting.

I tried to hide my distaste with a weak smile, “Yum.”

Jolly laughed, throwing his head back in amusement.

“You might want to chug it,” He said, taking a sip of his own beverage, “the knuckles hurt like a bitch.”

My eyes danced between him and the can as Nicholas and Nick began chanting, “Noah, Noah, Noah!”

Jolly joined with a raised fist, smiling with admiration as I chugged the drink, throwing the can to the floor in excitement as I stomped on it, the scream of elation ripping through my lungs as we all laughed. Nicholas hollered as he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me and I grinned, living within this moment of adventure.

“You ready?” Nicholas said, raising a quizzical brow as I began to feel the buzz. I nodded eagerly, throwing my hands in front of the table placed next to the bed.

Nicholas slid plastic gloves over his own tatted fingers before he wiped my knuckles with an alcohol wipe.

“There’s no going back,” He smiled as I sucked in a breath, anticipating the familiar scratching of the needle as it embedded the letters into my skin.

“Happy fourteenth birthday, baby bro,” Jolly walked over to me, patting my back. He handed me a crumbled paper bag, and with my free hand, I reached inside excitedly, pulling out the fabric.

I bit my lip as I tried to hide my smile but couldn’t. I was finally one of them.

“Your first mask.” Jolly nodded in approval. I tried pulling it over my head but couldn’t with one hand, so Jolly reached over, pulling it down over my face.

He bent down in front of me, his hand on top of my head as he shook me with fondness and it took everything in me not to cry with happiness at his praise.

That evening Nicholas wrapped my knuckles with black tape, protecting the freshly wounded skin. He went over the plan with Jolly, pointing towards the map indicating where I was to go, and where I would meet them after.

“This garage is filled with fancy as fuck cars,” Jolly nodded, leaning over the table, “so you have options. Don’t settle for any car, but don’t linger too long.”

“Remember, Kia’s and Hyundai’s are easier to hotwire, so you’ll have better luck getting in and out,” Nicholas said and I nodded as I jumped up and down, amping myself up.

“The alarms will go off almost immediately once you break in. People in this hotel get that shit valet, so someone is bound to notice right away.”

“Don’t forget, one, Underneath the steering wheel column find the wiring harness connector, Two,Pull aside the battery, ignition, and starter wire bundle, Three, Strip about 1 inch of the battery wires and twist them together. Fourth, Connect the ignition on/off wire to the battery wire.” Jolly listed and I nodded with each of his commands, reciting them back, “And don’t forget to break the steering lock or you won’t be able to drive.”

“Wire bundle, trip and twist, ignition to the battery,” I repeated, “Steering lock.”

+

“Well, I have no choice,” I threw my arms up, laughing, “What, you want me to ask Y/N then?”

Ask Y/N…

“No but-” Jolly started, but I interrupted him. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. She could be a diversion. A distraction in the plan.

“Y/N could be an extra body, and perhaps…” I trailed off, my mind wandering in thought. Yes, this was crazy; and the idea that followed even more so…but perhaps it could work.

“Okay,” Nicholas said as anger started bubbling from his tone as he watched me with disbelief, “And?”

“And,” I grabbed his shoulder as a smile wound up on my lips, “I can steal Y/N’s prescription while I’m there, and then replace her meds. So, she’ll never know.”

Nicholas rolled his head back in annoyance, almost laughing at my words, “Dude, you’re just going to dig yourself a hole here. You can’t be serious. Just tell her the truth about the fucking pills rather than getting her more involved.”

“I will eventually,” I sighed, “Just not now.”

“You do know how hard it is to steal from businesses alone versus a few houses here and there?” Jolly said as he scribbled in his notebook, “What is Y/N going to be able to do? Other than putting her and you in danger?”

“I have a plan,” I said, as I started pacing around the room.

“You’re considering her help? Are you fucking insane?” Jolly’s mouth hung open, “Du är en riktig klydderöv.” (You are an ass who likes to make things harder than they are)

“Listen,” I held my hands up in defence, but Nicholas threw his arms up.

“You can’t be serious; she could get hurt! You’re just using her?” he seethed.

“And you guys aren’t?” I laughed, pointing to the guitars and motioned around the room, “We are fucking freeloaders.”

“Aren't you worried about her getting injured?Caught? Better yet, Arrested?” Nick asked through clenched teeth. Why did he care so much?

“Of course I fucking am!” I growled, trying to not let any more guilt eat away at my insides, “I just want to have her as an extra body for that bit of fear factor. I don’t want her doing anything upfront or dangerous.”

“That’s still dangerous!” Nicholas exclaimed, “The fact she will be in that situation in the first place is not a good idea.”

I nodded in agreement, “I know. But what other choice do I have right now?” My eyes danced past each of the boys.

I knew this wasn’t the best idea, but my options were slim. I wanted to continue whatever was going on with Y/N- I didn’t want to feel this guilt, and if I was being honest with myself…

I was scared.

I was scared she wouldn’t see past my deceit, and I was scared she would hate me. That she wouldn’t forgive me.

I knew I had to make up for everything that had happened, but the first step was getting her proper medication back.

And to do that, I needed her help.

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

“Let’s work on the song,” Folio changed the subject as the room heated, and I sighed heavily.

“Yeah, whatever,” I sat back on the mattress, pulling up the lyrics I wrote on my phone.

“Whatcha got Noah?” Jolly asked as he picked up the guitar.

“You've run out of luck, and I'm calling your bluff You stabbed me in the back, but not deep enough But not deep enough I see through you.” I hummed.

Jolly nodded as he tried to match the chords.

“Then the chorus, yada yada,” I said, eyes scanning my device as my thumb scrolled the screen.

“You said I'd never make it, you said I'd fall on my face But now I'm right where I belong, and I put you in your place You said I'd never make it, you said I'd make a mistake But now I'm right where I belong, and you've got nothing to say.”

Jolly eyed me briefly with a slight glare as I spoke, and I avoided his eyes.

“I like it,” Nicholas said, plucking the bass.

+++++

Y/N

With my fingers wrapped around the paper coffee cup, I sighed, fiddling with my keys to open the front door to my house.

Noah’s sudden distance made my chest clench in worry.

“look at me, show me those pretty eyes while I fuck your mouth,” he demanded and my lashes flicked up toward him, his body shuddering as I stared into him with complete greed.

The last time we spoke was that night. Noah hasn’t come to the cafe, and he has barely been home. I chalked it up to him being busy paying back D, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly broken, and that it was my fault for his distance.

Doubt ate at my insides, beginning to regret inviting them into my home.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley I wish I wasn't a failure

Maybe Noah saw how unwell I was, after the nightmare. Maybe this whole situation made him uncomfortable. I made him uncomfortable.

That nobody needs That nobody needs That nobody needs

I’m sure he heard the nights I woke up screaming, and I can’t lie about how my heart broke when he wasn’t the one running into my room in concern. Not that he had to.

Nicholas however, was there in a heartbeat.

The boys were easy to live with, and I had a few game nights with Nick, Jolly and Nicholas. We got along surprisingly well, and I became quite close to Nicholas these past few days.

He must have noticed my inner battle because he often reassured me when I came home between shifts, running down to the basement with a coffee to greet Noah; only to be left disappointed when he wasn’t there.

“Hey,” Nicholas had waved, his gaze falling when he saw the coffee in my hands.

“Not home?” I asked, giving him a sad smile.

“No… I don’t know where he is either.”

I shared a curt nod before turning around to run back up the stairs.

“Y/N?” Nicholas called out before I took the first step up.

I stopped, sucking in a breath before sighing, “Did- did I do something wrong?” I asked, turning to look at him briefly.

Nicholas shook his head quickly, “No! No, of course not. You’ve done nothing but be kind to us.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m the problem? Did I scare him away?”

Nicholas’ shoulders dropped as he patted the seat on the couch next to him, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm warmly.

“Noah is a difficult creature,” He said, “But I haven’t seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

I sniffed, “Then why is he ignoring me?”

Nicholas stiffened at the question, and I tried to shrug it off, but I knew that he knew.

“I- he’s going through it. This is a lot of money for him to get himself, without any help.”

I pulled away from his hug, “I just wish he would let me help.”

I closed the door behind me, smiling down at Juice as he greeted me. I heard someone puttering in the kitchen and assumed it was Nicholas.

“Hey, Ruffilo-” I shouted, slipping off my shoes and prancing into the kitchen. I immediately gasped in surprise when it was not Ruffilo, but Noah, who sat at the table munching on a grilled cheese. Our eyes locked as we silently exchanged words, and my breath hitched in my throat. Why did I feel so nervous?

“Oh- hey-” my face flushed as I stood in place, staring at him for a moment too long, before bowing my head to pass him in anxiety. My heart immediately hammered, everything in me wanting to stare at his perfect smile or the way his long hair sculpted his face.

“Hey,” he said gently, his gaze burning into me as I placed my bag on the counter, taking in a nervous breath. I placed the coffee for him on the counter as I grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water. Anything to distract myself from his presence.

“How are you?” He asked, still staring at me with intensity. I hesitated before I turned around, my back pressed against the counter as I let my eyes wander to his own. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was suddenly talking to me after days of distance. Part of me wanted to walk away.

“Uh,” I took a slow sip, the cool liquid a poor attempt at slicing through the tension that built between us, “Good. And you?”

He watched the cup that touched my lips, eyes skimming over the glass my fingers wrapped around before he hesitated, as if afraid to speak the words that left his mouth.

“I’m okay.” He began, trailing off before looking away, eyes fixated on the ground, “I’ve missed you.”

My heart raced at his confession, my shoulders falling gently with the relief at his words. Part of me wanted to scoff, part of me wanted to hold him and succumb to his touch. Did he really miss me, or was he just feeling guilty for being MIA the past few days? But nonetheless, the way my breath hitched in nervousness told me how excited I was to see him.

“I got you your coffee…” I said softly in response as I turned and handed him the cup, unsure what else to say. Our fingers touched delicately as we passed the drink, and my arm buzzed as butterflies spiralled through my body, reminiscent of the day we met.

He gave me a small smile, thanking me shyly, but I could tell that something else was on his mind as he took a sip.

It was silent for a moment as more unspoken words danced between us.

“I’ve missed you too,” I confessed quietly as my cheeks warmed, and I began playing with my fingers nervously.

Noah’s ears flushed with colour as he genuinely smiled, “Let me take you out tonight.”

“I- I have work,” I stammered, excitement replaced with disappointment.

“Call in. Let me take you on a date.” He shook his head as he took another sip, refusing to let down.

“I can’t afford to call in,” I gave him a sad smile, “But I would love to go out with you this weekend when I’m free?”

“I’ll give you the money then,” He stood up now, grabbing the glass from my hands before pulling my palms into his grasp, “Just let me treat you.”

His October eyes begged as they bore into me, trying to read my mind. I looked away, trying not to succumb to his silent plea but instead I smiled, looking at our connected hands. Why was he suddenly being this way?

“Stop looking at me like that,” I laughed.

“Like what?” He teased, before sticking out his bottom lip, packing on the puppy dog eyes.  

“Like that!” I giggled, and Noah tugged on my arms, pulling them so they were wrapped around his body as he buried me in his chest.

I sunk into his arms in alleviation as we swayed in the kitchen to the beat of our hearts.

Part of me wanted to pull away, tempted to see if he would bring me back. The other part of me wanted to berate him for his attitude. Part of me wanted him to take me against the kitchen table. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment together.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant,” Noah whispered now, his voice vibrating from his chest as my cheek was pressed against his soft cotton t-shirt. I nodded against him in response, squeezing his torso as I closed my eyes, my mind beginning to overthink everything that’s happened between us.

I finally sucked in a breath, hesitant to ask, “Did I do something wrong?”

Noah immediately pulled me from his chest to look me in the eyes with a sullen expression, his hands cupping either side of my face, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

My eyes began to glaze over as my mind eased a little, and I chuckled softly, “Definitely not perfect.”

“Definitely are,” He whispered, hesitating once more before his broken eyes began analyzing my own. He made me feel like I had no reason to think he was lying. He made me feel perfect.

Noah watched me carefully before his eyes closed briefly. He sucked in a breath, hesitating, “I- I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m so lost right now.”

“I hope you know you can talk to me,” I matched his tone, my head tilting in empathy as we stood in the kitchen, holding each other. My fingers gripped onto the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him into another hug, embracing all his insecurities.

“I know,” He sighed, before masking his sorrows with a smile.

“Please come out with me,” He pulled away and pleaded again, the pad of his thumb beginning to graze across my cheekbone before tracing the outline of my lips, “I want to spend time with you. I want to hear your story.”

I smiled at his words, my breath catching in my throat as we watched each other, completely mesmerized as my eyes travelled across the outline of his ochre eyes. The slight stubble outlined his perfect lips that wrapped around the whites of his teeth as he smiled charmingly, and it left my palms sweating.

“You know plenty about me now,” He said gently, concentrated eyes devouring me, “So who are you?”

Subconsciously I began leaning in closer to his touch, our lips inches apart, “Why are you so convincing?” I whispered, the warmth of Noah’s breath cascading along my face.

“Ahem.”

I turned immediately at the cough, and Noah pulled away from me, staring back at the ground. I looked between him and Ruffilo, who stood leaning against the wall, watching Noah with analytical eyes.

“Hi, ruffles!” I then smiled warmly, confused at his interruption but happy to see him. He acknowledged me briefly, nodding in my direction before glaring daggers towards the brunette.

“A date?” Nicholas frowned as he folded his arms with an accusatory tone.

Noah shot back a look and my eyes flickered between the two of them, squinting in confusion.

Noah shook his head, turning his back towards us, “it’s none of your business.”

“It’s all my business now.” Nicholas stood up, standing next to me in defence.

My brows furrowed and I took a step back from Ruffilo, “Ok, what the fuck is going on?”

Ruffilo’s face contorted as a quick cynical laugh left his lips, scoffing at the brunette in front of him, “You didn’t ask her where you really want to take her out?”

Noah ran a hand over his face, “I was getting there.”

I looked between them again before my eyes landed on Noah, turning my head to the side, “Take me… where?”

Noah licked his lips in thought before turning to me, “I need your help.”

+

“Y/N hurry up!” Kiean yelled, his blonde curls bouncing underneath his black hood as he threw the canvas duffle bag towards me, placing his gun between his waistband. He ran behind the counter, typing on the keyboard of the desk computer frantically.

The alarms blared between the walls as I hastily tried to listen to the clicks of the safe, my heart racing as adrenaline rushed through me, my hands sweating beneath the leather gloves.

My breath quickened beneath the full white masquerade mask, the moisture building between the plastic and my skin, causing my chest to heave.

In a matter of minutes, the police would arrive and a shoot-out would begin.

‘k-12 to k-11’, Kean screamed over his walkie, my senses completely overloaded as the mixture of sounds rang through my ears.

‘k-11 to k-12, over.’

‘status of the doors?’

I looked away from the safe briefly towards the glass front doors, watching as the other masked figures held the rifles pointed towards the blocked exterior. I turned back as I anxiously flicked between the code, seconds being wasted the longer I failed to open it.

‘blocked.’ the voice responded.

‘hostages?’ Kiean asked.

‘detained.’

My eyes flickered towards the hunched bodies sitting on the floor, covering themselves in defence as they shook with fear. Another group of men with guns stood above them, shoving the rifle into the skin of a woman who mouthed back, creating an echo of screams as one of them fired the gun.

I closed my eyes, wishing to wake up from this nightmare.

But it was real.

“Is that fucking safe open yet?”

My blood ran cold as a shiver ran through my spine, the voice of my bad decision stopping my fingers mid-turn.

A gloved hand gripped the back of my neck and I looked up at the mask that mirrored my own, the only skin was his piercing green eyes that glared at me, filled with outrage. My lungs could no longer suck in oxygen as I gasped for a breath, desperate.

“You have ten fucking seconds to open it before I blow your goddamn brains out you pathetic piece of shit.”

His fingers dug into my neck as tears threatened to spill from my eyes as I watched back in horror, trying to nod underneath his grasp.

“Kade!” Kiean growled, “Fuck off!”

Kade looked back at me with disgust for a moment longer before he let me go, and I finally felt like I could briefly breathe.

I used to love his green eyes.

++

I sat on the edge of my bed as I hung up the phone with my boss, telling him I came down with food poisoning. Classic excuse.

I picked up the plastic mask as the pads of my fingers grazed over the years of shame associated with it, as my mind replayed the memory from my past.

Noah knew bits and pieces of my story, but he didn’t know the full reason why I left my old life behind.

I was scared to tell him; even though I knew he would probably still accept me; I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him yet.

I think I lost my mind Everything I knew came falling down Anything I build comes crashing down

I was trying to leave my old life behind…but I knew I was experienced enough to help him.

However, I knew that this was going to tie me right back to those I left. If I helped him, I would be stuck in the never-ending loop again. They would find me.

I'm pleading, "God, not now" Save me from my sins before I leave Free me from the weight so I can breathe

But for some reason, I was willing to do anything for Noah.

Why?

I was clearly fucking crazy.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

+++++

NOAH

Y/N and I agreed to go tonight.

I was scared to ask her, especially after Ruffilo confronted us. I did genuinely want to take her out on a date. I wanted to spend time with her.

But I did need her help.

I explained the plan of the heist and she agreed surprisingly quickly. The look she gave me left me confused. I was expecting some pushback, but she just sucked in a breath, lost in her mind for a moment before nodding and telling me she needed to grab a few things.

Her reaction was strange; almost as if she was conflicted. Was she conflicted between morals, knowing what she was doing was illegal? Or was there something else?

I sent a text to Vincent, telling him I’d meet him right after the heist to sell the drugs, right around midnight.

“See you then, Sebastian. Same spot.”

Hope ran through my veins as the plans fell into place, and I grabbed my backpack and gear, before running up the stairs to Y/N’s room.

I knocked as I pushed open the door, her eyes flickering up towards me before backing down at the mask she had resting in her palms. It was a simple white plastic party mask; the black masquerade design spiralling around the eyes.

I eyed her tentatively as she continued to stare at the mask. She flipped it around and my eyes narrowed as I analyzed the pattern. I swear I’ve seen this mask before, but I couldn’t place a finger on from were.

“Do you want one of my masks?” I asked, sitting next to her on the mattress, assessing the plastic she traced her fingers with, as if recalling a memory.

She took a shaky breath as she declined, turning to face me and giving me a curt smile, “This one work fine.”

I watched as Y/N’s shoulders began to shake in what I assumed was nervousness, and I placed a hand on hers that held the mask, “You don’t have to do this with me.”

She jumped lightly at my touch, leaving me confused before pulling away.

“I told you I’d help you, Noah,” she said as she stood up, walking to her desk and grabbing her own backpack.

Y/N pulled out a walkie-talkie from the fabric, tossing me one. I raised a brow as I caught it, staring at the machine.

“When did you get these?” I asked, almost laughing at the tactile equipment. This was a high-tech radio, something that surprised me she owned.

She shrugged, eying me once more before zipping up her backpack, “A long time ago. I’ll give one to the boys too so we can communicate. They can keep track on the sidelines.”

I hummed in response as I placed it inside the pocket of my cargo pants. I watched as Y/N paced around the room, grabbing various items before turning to face me.

“Are you wearing a change of clothes underneath the black?” She asked me, her serious expression sending shivers down my spine.

I turned my head to the side as I stood up from her bed, “No… should I be?”

She nodded, raising a brow as if I was stupid, “Yes, and bring another hat.”

I gave her a curious glance but obeyed, crossing the hall to the spare bedroom to grab another set of clothes.

Once we gathered everything, we stood at the front door, prepared to leave. Ruffilo stood waiting by the stairs, folded arms analyzing us before he went up to Y/N, giving her a tight hug before moving to me.

“You guys stay safe. I’ll be tracking you.” He gave us a curt nod, sighing as he glanced at Y/N in worry.

“Please keep your phone and my laptop on next to you. Remember the password is Juice.” Y/N said to Nicholas, and he nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

“Why?” I asked her, staring down at her, slightly in surprise. I didn’t know her and Nicholas were as close as they were.  

“You never know when you need backup.” She smiled, the worry dancing behind her eyes causing my own anxiety to spark.

We gave each other a nod before waving to Nicholas, leaving through the front door. The crisp air slapped me in the face, waking me up to the reality that this was really happening: that Y/N was going to be with me. Was this really a good idea?

We got into the van, me in the driver’s seat and Y/N in the passengers.

“So,” Y/N began as I pulled out from the curb, driving down the street, “I’ve never been to this pharmacy, and I have no idea how many cameras there are.”

“Folio said that there shouldn’t be any inside since this place is pretty old, but I believe that there are two outside,” I replied, turning down the music in the car.

Y/N nodded, “Well then, we definitely should park on Twelfth Ave, so we are far enough from cameras around the pharmacy.”

I hummed in response, sucking in a breath. Her analysis and knowledge surprised me, “You seem to know what you’re talking about.”

She glanced over at me briefly before staring out the window, watching the city pass by, “I’ve seen movies.”

I chuckled, fingers tightening around the wheel, somehow not satisfied with the answer, “I guess so.”

We sat in silence for the majority of the ride, soft music from the radio tuning out the silence. As we approached Twelfth Ave, I parked alongside the road.

“Ready?” I said, glancing at her.

Y/N hummed as she peered out the window, looking for cameras before giving me a nod.

“We’re good. Masks on before we get out.”

I laughed, cocking my head to the side, “Isn’t this my mission?”

She smiled at me, “Of course; but you asked for my help.”

“Touche,” I slipped the fabric over my head as I pulled my hood over. The car doors slammed shut and we began walking down the sidewalk, Y/N’s hands now governed with gloves.

“Walkie is set to channel 14?” She asked me, double checking hers before clipping it to her belt.

“Yes,” I chuckled, reassuring her with a glance.

Y/N nodded, walking ahead of me quickly, “Ok. Before we hit the 13th street we need to check for more cameras, especially on the buildings across the street. Then scope out a place we can hide behind to change once we’re done.”

I blinked rapidly her knowledge of this surprised me, leaving me innately curious. I trailed behind her, following her commands. We hit 13th Ave and I watched Y/N as she scanned the brick that surrounded us, pointing to a camera across the street.

“That one will already have seen us. We can’t continue-” she said, her breath hitching in her throat.

I pulled her body back, turning her to face me. “What-”

“Let me finish,” She cut me off, heavy breathing erupting from behind the mask, “I need to call Nicholas.”

The woman next to me pulled out her phone, dialling Ruffilo’s number. Y/N grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side between two buildings, holding the phone close to her ear as the bricks sheltered us.

“Hey, Ruffles.” She whispered, “yea everything’s ok. I need help with the cameras, so I need you to get my laptop.”

I watched her with curiosity, listening to every word.

“Login to my computer and click the blue app on my desktop, the one with the eye- yes- yes that one.”

She glanced at me before staring at the ground, “Password is Kade. K-A-D-E. Capitals.”

Kade?

Y/N held the phone closer to her ear, frantically beginning to pace, “OK, now I need you to type the address of Noah’s tracker into the box on the bottom. Grey box.”

What the hell was she doing?

I watched her with furrowed brows. This was some spy level shit and I had no idea how or why she knew this; but something was telling me I don’t know as much about Y/N as I thought.

“Yes, the IP. Include the zeros. Then click the red icon that will pop up on the right.”

“It’s asking for another password.” I could hear Nicholas on the other side of Y/N’s phone faintly.

“Try Kiean. K-I-E-A-N.”

“Nope.”

Y/N was silent for a moment, and I watched as her chest heaved beneath her black zip-up. She hesitated for a moment, as if the words were unable to escape her lips, “Try- try my name and the date 06-13.”

“Yeah, that worked. Now what?”

June 13?

I peered at Y/N’s eyes through her mask, tears welling up along her eyelids, “OK, c-click the box that should have popped up. You’re going to need to enter this code…ready?”

I heard Nick hum and Y/N began spitting out random letters and numbers, “qqp;//0-0-0:879230/live.”

“Then put in Noah’s IP, and then continue with ‘.off/GO113MODULE=shutdown.”

What the fuck?

“Ok. That did something?”

“Did a timer pop up?” Y/N asked hastily, before eying me.

“Yeah- it says 7 minutes and it’s counting down.”

“Call me when two minutes are remaining.” Y/N hung up the phone before grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the ally towards the pharmacy.

“The cameras are down. We have seven minutes to get in and get out; maybe even less before the alarms signal the cops.”

I had so many questions, but all I could do was watch her with complete confusion, but also awe.

We reached the pharmacy door, and I pulled out a crowbar from my back, hinging it between the wood. I struggled for a moment, my teeth gritting as I pulled on the door.

“Push don’t pull. It’s faster.” Y/N mumbled, and I did as she said, the door popping open within seconds.

“How the fuck do you-”

She ignored my response and walked past me as the deafening alarm began echoing through the street from the pharmacy. My adrenaline began to spike as I rushed in and scoped the shelves before aimlessly grabbing things off the shelves hastily and throwing them into the extra backpack I brought. I began to make my way to the back of the building where the prescriptions would be, rushing along the wooden floor.

My heart pounded as the alarm rang, signalling the short amount of time we had to be in and out.

Y/N followed suit and I watched as she swiftly jumped over the counter, swinging herself between the shelves. She crouched next to me, pulling various boxes and pills off their designated spaces before shovelling them into her bag.

“You fucking know what you’re doing,” I yelled over the ringing alarm, throwing bottles left and right, trying to be as fast as possible.

Y/N glanced at me as she continued to shove random items into her backpack, turning away to ignore my question.

I leaned over, grabbing her arm as she grabbed a bubble pack of pills, “You don’t know this from movies. The fucking camera hacking? What the hell?” I knew now wasn’t the time for an interrogation; but I couldn’t help myself.

“Can you shut up?” She seethed through her teeth, eyes squinting at me angrily, “Now is not the time Noah, the cops will probably be here any minute. You’re wasting time worrying about me when you should be worried about the money.”

She ripped her arm away from me, walking to the other side of the counter, towards the register. I watched her in disbelief as she then went to pop open the register with a crowbar, grabbing the cash that lay amidst it.  

I shook my head in a mix of mistrust and admiration. Maybe taking her was a good idea after all.

Her phone rang and we looked at each other, her eyes hallowing beneath the mask, “Two minutes till the cameras are on, we need to go,” She yelled, her voice raw over the sound of the alarm.

I nodded briefly before I remembered one of the sole reasons we were here; to grab her meds.

“Wait-” I hollered, turning around. Diazepam, Adderall, Zolpidem.

My eyes flicked through the shelves, desperately searching. Adderall. Check. Diazepam. Check.

“Noah!” Y/N screamed, standing at the door, throwing her arms up. Amongst the store alarm, I could hear sirens whaling in the distance, signalling their justice.

“Wait- fuck!” I yelled, anxiously searching the last section. My gloved hand ran along the shelf as my heart hammered in anticipation, before I landed on Zolpidem. Check. Y/N stood by the door, head swinging between me and outside, peaking around the corner to watch for cops.

Grabbing my bag I hopped over the counter, slightly tripping over the mess we created but caught myself. Sprinting out of the store I grabbed Y/N’s arm, dragging her with me.

My ears still rang as we ran, and Y/N began pushing into me.

“Here,” She pushed into my side, leading us between an alleyway further down the street.

“Strip,” she comanded as she exhaled heavily, throwing her hood off her head and mask off onto the ground hastily, as if peeling it away in disgust.

“Can’t wait till we get home?” I tried to laugh, and she glared in my direction, unamused given the state of haste we were in. As my smile faded, I barely noticed her tear-stained cheeks as she took off her hoodie, pulling a pink one out of her bag. She threw on a pair of sweatpants over her shorts that were beneath her jeans and knelt to slip on a pair of white Converse.

I followed suit, throwing off my attire quickly before slipping into a pair of black and white shorts, along with a white hoodie. As I threw on my vans and hopped to get my foot inside, I shoved everything back into my bag.

The sirens got closer, the red and blue lights reflecting down the buildings at the end of the street. We began to panic and once she was ready, I grabbed Y/N’s hand with my sweaty one, pulling her with me down the alley. I looked up and down the brick towards the end before finding a ladder, pulling on it to test its strength and hopping up, beginning to climb.

Y/N followed below and once we reached the top we stood on the roof for a moment. She watched me before I began to run. The rocks that layered the top of the roof crunched beneath my feet as I bolted, my head snapping back as I kept looking behind me to check Y/N was still following, making sure she was ok.

We reached the edge of the roof, and I scoped the scene. Although we were surrounded by buildings, I wasn’t sure where to go from here. The sirens still echoed as they flashed from below, anticipating us to decide quickly. I looked below, noticing a ladder and ledge attached to another building. We would have to jump to make it, but it looked doable.

“Do you trust me?” I asked, breathless, looking down at her. The moon light cascaded delicate shadows along her frame, leaving me captivated. As her beautiful E/C eyes looked back at me, she held out her hand, complete commitment radiating through her.

“Always,” She whispered back, squeezing my fingers. I smiled at her and looked ahead, preparing to jump.

“Follow me,” I squeezed her hand in encouragement before letting go, and she nodded.

I stood on the edge of the building, my eyes flickering over the ladder as I sucked in a breath, ready to push myself off the ledge. I jumped, the air sliding between my limbs briefly before I caught myself on the metal. I sighed heavily, looking up at Y/N and giving her a thumbs up.

She hesitated for a moment, looking down at the ground below. I watched as her gaze analyzed everything; and before fear could take over, I encouraged her.

“You can do it, I believe in you,” I said, and she nodded, her body swaying with the wind before throwing herself off the stone and landing next to me.

We walked across the ledge before reaching the end, and I looked at the ground below.

“Ok, we can swing off that pipe and then onto the top of the dumpster. Then we run,” I said, preparing to jump again.

She let out a puff of air, “Parkour?” She laughed.

“Easy,” I matched her tone, letting out an anxious chuckle, “Just watch me.”

I walked across the pipe, holding my hands out to distribute my weight and keep my balance until I was above the dumpster below. Kneeling, I then made sure I had a tight grip before dropping my body, so I was hanging from the piece of metal.

I took a deep breath before letting go, bending my knees to catch my fall on the plastic lid.

Y/N did the same, but as she hung on the pipe, she closed her eyes, afraid to drop.

“C’mon princess,” I praised, “I’ll catch you.”

She scrunched her face in thought before letting go, and I caught her, pulling her close against my body. I hugged her briefly, wanting to hang onto her forever; but we still had a job to do.

We slid off the dumpster onto the cold pavement, and I grabbed her hand, holding her as we then made a sprint toward the van. Our footsteps rang along the cement, adrenaline pushing me more than caffeine ever could. At this moment, I felt alive with Y/N next to me.

We approached the van with our chests rising and falling, pulling ourselves into the dirty grey fabric seats, and locking the doors. As we sat in the car not speaking, the only sounds being our heavy breathing, I peeked over at Y/N, who then turned to face me.

With flush cheeks, her eyes trailed along my gaze, before a wide smile grew upon her face, “Fucking hell.”

She laughed, and I mirrored her, the grin on my face expressing my devotion to this woman.

“I can’t believe we pulled that off.” I laughed, coughing as my throat dried with thirst, and rested my forehead onto the steering wheel.

Our laughs died out and I turned to face her.

“Yeah,” She watched me again, but her smile began to fall, “we did it.”

“How did you-” I began, wanting to begin asking questions, but she cut me off immediately.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” She curtly responded, completely beginning to shut down as the adrenaline wore off. Her eyes remained fixated straight ahead and I watched her in confusion and concern, millions of questions racing through my mind.

What was wrong? And how does she know so much?

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it,” I began as I started the car, revving the engine gently before pulling out, “but what you did back there was more than even I could do. All the boys.”

Y/N remained silent, turning her body away from me.

“You’ve done this before.”

Y/N’s head snapped toward me, “Noah,” She warned, my name leaving her lips angrily.

I stared at her, licking my lips in annoyance, but dropping the subject, “We need to visit someone before we head back.”

She swallowed harshly, nodding in silence.

My mind raced as I drove. Y/N definitely hasn’t been honest about her past. I swear I’ve seen that mask before; and I know for a fact that she’s had to have done a heist in the past or some shit. She was experienced… and who the fuck was Kiean?

Thoughts invaded my mind and once we were close to the pier I stopped abruptly before an allyway.

I turned off the engine, grabbing my mask.

“Put your mask on,” I said, and she nodded, reaching into her bag. I watched as she placed the mask on top of her face and I followed with my own, before we pulled the hoodies over our heads once again. I waited for Y/N to get out of the car, watching carefully as she closed the door.

I quickly grabbed her replacement meds from my bag, sliding them into the glovebox before grabbing both our backpacks. I slid out of the car, walking next to her.

I leaned over, whispering, “Stay behind me, don’t say anything,” and Y/N nodded, trailing behind me as we walked down into the alleyway.

It was quiet, the only sound was our footsteps and distant traffic. I stopped Y/N with my arm before we walked any further down the cement, waiting.

Y/N breathed heavily, and seconds later we heard him.

“Sebastian!” Vincent’s voice boomed through the brick walls.

I cautiously kept my distance as he turned the corner, exposing himself. He walked towards us and was flipping a coin between his fingers, tilting his head slightly as his eyes immediately latched onto Y/N. She stood behind me, almost hidden.

“a friend?” His voice raised slightly in question.

I held out my arm to hold her behind me, but Y/N pushed past my defence and stepped beside me.

Vincent immediately stopped flipping his coin once she was exposed, his eyes flashing with recognition as he stared straight past me, eyes locked onto the masked girl. He was fixated on her. My stomach churned at the way he stared, completely lost in a trance.

I looked at Y/N briefly and she stared back, shoulders heaving.

A deep chuckle radiated through his chest before he spoke, his words leaving me confused.

“We live in a twilight world.”

Y/N stiffened beside me, silent for a moment before responding.

“And there are no friends at dusk.”

I turned to her in complete confusion. The interaction between them building tension so thick I could cut it with a knife. My mind began to race.

She knows him. He knows her.

But how?

The mask.

Vincent looked away from their eye contest first, the shine of his grillz radiating once he smiled at me.

“What do you have for me? Other than an oh-so-riveting friend.”

I ignored his question regarding Y/N as I slid the backpack off my back. I opened it toward him, revealing the dozens of pill bottles.

“Quite the haul,” Vincent laughed, a low whistle escaping his lips, “but I didn’t come quite prepared with that much money.”

I tried hiding my disappointment, “Then what can I give you?”

“I brought the same amount as last week,” He said, nodding towards the bag, “Got any more of that Adderall you got me? and the zolpidem and diazepam?”

Don't worry, I'll be lost in echoes Be laughing on my own It's tragic, but it's the only life I know (Only life I know)

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes began to widen, and I stared at him.

“From whatever that name was- Y-N? Something?”

My body froze, immediately afraid to look in her direction. From my peripheral, I saw her remain perfectly still. Too still.

What should I do, what should I be? (I'm at a turning point right now) I'm so full of rage, too blind to see

“Uh- n-no.” I stammered, taking a step back as I avoided Y/N’s gaze,  “I have a few opioids.”

Vincent shrugged, smiling, “Ah sounds good.”

I looked at the bag as my hands began to shake.

“I’ll take those today for twenty-five hundred. But uh, bring the others next time. They sold great. I’ll offer thirty-five hundred,” Vincent said, reaching into the bag to assess some of the bottles.

I swallowed harshly as I nodded, “Yea- I’ll get some of those.”

Vincent whipped out his testing kid, assessing each of the bags and bottles before pulling out the cash.

“Pleasure doing business with ya, Sebastian.” He nodded as he placed the bundle into my gloved fingers, licking his lips before smiling towards Y/N.

He watched her tauntingly,"I'll See You At The Beginning, Friend."

Y/N only gave him a small nod, silently and swiftly turning around, walking back towards the car.

As I watched her leave, I then glanced at Vincent one more time who watched curiously.

“See you,” I said in a conflicted tone, before jogging after the girl who was now gone from the alleyway.

Y/N was already sitting in the car with the mask thrown onto the dashboard, staring down at her lap in complete emptiness.

I got into the driver’s seat, too afraid to say anything once I saw how she collapsed.

The words that then left her lips sounded broken, strained, and defeated. “I trusted you.”

My heart pounding in agony as she fixated on her lap with disappointed eyes. I swallowed harshly, panicking. As my heart hammered the only question that left my mouth was Why.

I wanted to blame her as if it was her fault for trusting me. As if she’s the one who made me steal her drugs. Part of me wanted to grab her shoulders and shake some sense into her, my body fighting the urge to shame her for being so kind.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

“Why would you trust a criminal like me?”

As soon as the question left my lips I had sunk into the seat of the car, shame taking over. I was never meant to be the good guy.

The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again

Her eyes fell as she grew small, suddenly insecure, “B-because?” She stuttered, “You’re not a bad person Noah.”

Yes I am, it’s my fault for taking advantage of her.

“Why did you do it?” She asked, still staring at her hands.

“Why else?” My hands ran up across my face, “I need the fucking money. Not like I do this for fun.”

I keep picturing my ending beneath a yellow rose I don't recall this type of feeling, a seed inside my bones My soul turned its back and left me, I burnt the bridge within Just another waste of humans weighing down this skin

“I tried giving you options- like the bar, or even a position at the cafe,” She began rambling, her hand moving erratically as she explained.

“And I'm grateful,” I reached out towards her arm, but she pushed herself towards the window, away from me defensively.

My hand fell in shame, “but that can’t make me enough. It’s hard to make money this way when it’s just me doing jobs.”

“I get that,” She folded her arms, holding onto herself, “But I told you I would help.”

And it pulls me further from the point that I belong And all you wanna do is take me, break me, hide me away Or you can shame me, blame me, burn me at the stake on a lie 'Cause my own mind wilts at the thought of being alive And that I'd like it if I tried

“You didn’t need to go behind my back. You could have just asked,” she whispered.

“I- the whole reason I did this robbery in specific,” I stated, opening the glovebox in front of her, revealing the plastic bottles, “was to get back your meds. That’s why I’ve been so distant.”

She stared at the orange bottles, detached.

“I have felt so fucking guilty, that I have barely been able to look at you knowing what I did,” my voice began to raise, “Like how fucked up am I? That I could do that to you, knowing, that they’re supposed to be helping you?”

I scoffed at myself as I slammed the glovebox, making Y/N jump in the process.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

“Y/N,” I whispered now, “I am so sorry I did this to you. I am so sorry I dragged you into this.”

The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again

Chapter 6

#burning out fanfic #sorrows of silence #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #metalcore #noah sebastian fluff #noah sebastian smut #nicholas ruffilo #crime #criminals #money heist #heist

[ummmlife]

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami Boyfriend

part 2

warnings! : nanami x afab reader ; slight nsfw (still mdni) ; angst (?) ; headcanon ; salaryman!nanami ; if none of this makes sense (spelling and grammatically speaking) i'm sorry but my first language isn't english (lol)

What comes to my mind thinking about Salaryman!Nanami is: misery.

This man lives miserably in a constant depressive state that he isn't even aware of. He lives in a monotone routine that consists of: waking up at 5 a. m., getting ready for work, take the subway when is rush hour, getting at the office at 6:37 and start working at 7 o'clock for 8+ hours, have a casse-croûte for lunch, then leave the office at 1 a. m., get back home for a shower and sleep. Then repeat this over and over again.

The ambience of the city full of other corporative slaves just like him filling every single space of negative energy ends up draining him as well. An endless cycle of stress and tiredness that keeps, slowly but surely, consuming him.

That's how the life of a salaryman is.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will always come back home extremely tired, wanting nothing but a glass of whiskey and a migraine pill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami would try to pretend that everything is fine when he gets paid every month, just to then feel a knot in his throat after paying every bill.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who feels helpless every time he finds you completely asleep on the couch after a failed attempt to try to stay awake to wait for him to get home.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will do his best to spend more time with you but that only happens twice a month because he craves to sleep on his free days.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who could get sick very often due to overworking himself and, basically, venerates you for taking care of him.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who cries himself to sleep silently every night when he's in bed with you while you're sleeping because he feels that he's losing his life in a job that is taking away his best years.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who hates himself for not having enough time for you as he had before and fears that he's ruining your relationship.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami whose libido is lower than 0 and has no energy to even have sex anymore, but begs you to cockwarm him to sleep, because the warm of your pussy hugging his dick brings him comfort. He doesn't just want to cuddle with you, he doesn't just want to hug you, he wants to feel as close as possible.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who will cum immediately once his dick is deep inside of you because, honestly, he can't last a minute with you anymore. Of course, he won't pull out, so get ready to sleep with his thick cum filling your womb and wake up with his flaccid dick still inside while his little "gift" from last night keeps leaking from your inside.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami will shyly ask you to let him sleep with his head on your chest to squeeze your tits and suck your nipples for stress relief.

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami who ends up collapsing in front of you like a little kid and who you end up convincing to leave his job.

After watching your boyfriend have a mental breakdown, which you never thought possible, you had him lean over you on the couch while he calmed down a bit and stopped crying. —"I really don't know what would be of me without you... you are an angel in my life, thank you."

Miserable Salaryman!Nanami that just quit his job and took part of his savings to go on a trip with you to Malaysia, so he can finally rest in peace next to you on a nice beach with no more worries in his life.

shitty concept and shitty headcanons, yes, but i really like miserable (big) men craving comfort from their partners :) that's all ‹𝟹

#. bibi's writing #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk nanami #nanami headcanons #nanami kento #nanami smut #nanami angst #salaryman!nanami #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento smut

[ipseitydelrey]

Could I request headcanons of Elle Greenaway and Jennifer Jareau with a fem!reader who insists they’re not drunk (when they most definitely are) XD

sounds like a funny idea, ofc you can request this !!

“i’m not drunk!” ☆ elle greenaway & jennifer jareau

ship elle greenaway x jennifer jareau x drunk!fem!reader

warnings reader is hammered lol, alcohol (ofc)

a/n took a while, so sorry about that! this is also my first polyamorous post so i’m excited about that :D

★ you’re probably at a bar with the team, celebrating a case that went by easily.

★ yeah everybody’s drinking (minus spencer and his arnold palmer), but you are HAMMERED.

★ stumbling around, slurring your speech, giggling and flushed type of drunk.

★ as such, you have to be supervised. downside is that you are probably the single worst person to look after while drunk because you are incredibly good at getting other people drunk too.

★ so penelope was originally slated to supervise you, but ten minutes after she joined you, you and her were drunkenly giggling about nothing at all.

★ the rest of the team that are present are also quick inebriated, but elle and jj didn’t drink that much tonight. so now they’re stuck with you.

★ they take the initiative and decide to take the team to their respective homes. after dropping everyone off at their houses, the only person left was you.

★ elle holds you upright the most as her and jj carry you to your front door. while elle has her arm around your waist and you arm around the back of her neck, jj fishes into your pockets for your keys. it’s definitely worrying that you don’t really react.

★ they practically drag you inside and then drag you some more to your bedroom after jj closes the door and takes off your shoes.

★ they plop you down onto your bed as you groan drunkenly. jj goes to get an aspirin and some water for when you go to sleep and wake up with a wicked hangover.

★ elle, on the other hand, tries to make sure you’re comfortable by only taking off your pants and situating you under the covers.

★ after she pulls the blanket up about halfway over you, you reach out and pull her into the bed with you, immediately wrapping your arms around her as if she were a stuffed animal.

★ jj returns with the pill and glass in hand to see you sloppily kissing elle on the cheek as she pulls away from you. jj chuckles, setting the items in her hands down onto the bedside table as elle tries to get you to calm down and sleep.

★ once you appear to be close to clocking out for the night, elle gets up from the bed but you whine in response, beckoning both of the women to join you.

★ elle sighs, but jj seems completely fine with it. they both do end up climbing under the covers next to you, holding you until you fall asleep.

★ of course, they end up staying. your bed is just so warm and they want to make sure you get your rest and you take your aspirin when you awake next.

★ luckily you have a day off, so next morning, when you wake up with a throbbing headache and the worst hangover, you find the two women still asleep on either side of you.

★ you do notice the water and aspirin on the table, but that can wait (even if your headache is telling you no).

#✩ ⊹˖ ꒰ elle ꒱ ୨🎧୧ #✩ ⊹˖ ꒰ jennifer ꒱ ୨🎧୧ #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #elle greenaway x reader #elle greenaway #jennifer jareau x you #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau #lola glaudini #aj cook

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

HII. i love your writing can i request a bill x reader and tom x reader separately when their s/o is sick, and i'm actually sick now lol idk if this makes sense, you can do just one of them if you don't have time

you don't have to do it if you don't want to

(Hello! I'm glad you like my writing and so sorry this took so long to get out, You're probably not sick anymore lmao but enjoy and you can find Tom's here!)

Bill Kaulitz x Sick!Reader

He's a bit more concerned when you're sick

Especially if it ever gets to be serious or you have previous health issues

Has anything you could possibly ever need

From cough syrup to pills

He's not gonna leave you alone the whole time you're sick unless he absolutely needs too

But most of the time is holding your hand or laying in bed with you

He sneaks in kisses and you have to push him away

He don't care if he gets sick

He treats you normal though when you're sick because he doesn't want you to think he thinks of you as a kid or someone who needs to be taken care of

But he truly does love taking care of you

It's how he shows you he loves and cares for you

All you need to do is ask him for something and he goes out and gets it

Let's you sleep for as long as you want

God help anyone who disturbs you

He asks you to get checked out by a doctor just in case it is something serious

He just wants to be sure

He was a little paranoid because if you're someone who ignores their health issues and brushes it off he can get anxious

Especially because he used to do that with his throat when he lost his voice

He just wants you both now to make sure you're taken care of

He's by your side the whole time and is helping you with anything possible

Sorta gives that princess treatment ngl

He probably got sick with you or at least you recovered and he is now sick

He is gonna be such a clingy, sick kid

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel imagine #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz #bill

[anadiluna]

Serenity.

Bada Lee X fem reader.

Reader is the only female member of bts lol

Warnings: angst, fluff as hell, reader is problematic, drug use?¿

It's my first time posting on tumblr so I don't know how to write these warnings or whatever. I'm struggling to find where the hell I should put the title😭.

I looked so serene, my sleep figure rested on Bada's body, my face buried into her neck, she had her arms wrapped around me, her chin resting on the top of my head, eyes closed and a small smile on her lips, she also looked serene, I admired the picture for some moments, all kinds of good emotions twirling on my chest until something caught my attention, one of my arms rested on her waist and my hand was tugging the fabric of her hoodie as if I was scared that she would escape, I didn't remember doing that when I was woke.

Memories from my past relationship, fights about how emotionally dependent I was, his face contorting in a disgusted frown when I hugged him, suddenly my world was falling apart.

How could I be so desperate to be in her arms? A sense of shame hit my heart and my mind, the realization of everyone probably knowing that I loved her differently made me feel so ashamed, not because she is a woman, I would never feel ashamed of that, just being perceived as someone vulnerable was enough for me.

Moments traveled through my mind, I've been so clingy with her through the last months, I laughed too much, I hugged her too much, I showed all the feelings I wanted to show and didn't even realize, although she never rejected me or said anything bad, but rather happily accepted all of that, I couldn't let go of the feeling that I was probably suffocating her like this, I felt so bad, she probably felt disgusted just like him, right? She didn't say anything about it to not hurt me, she didn't say anything because she felt sorry for the girl who doesn't have anyone besides her members. I felt so disgusted with myself, I just wanted to bury myself alive so I could never bother her again.

The days went by and the rejection feeling I planted on my chest only grew, every time I was around her the feeling of wanting to be in her arms and hug her was terribly strong, but the shame I felt was bigger, and even when she hugged me I couldn't put my hands over hers like I always did.

"Why are you not hugging me anymore?", she said hugging me and leaning her head on my shoulders as we left the practice studio, her voice sounded hurt, but my mind wouldn't let me believe she was hurt.

-----------------------

"Aren't you coming anymore?", she said over the phone, the background sounded noisy, and I could hear Lusher screaming a song in the karaoke room.

"I have to finish a song today, I'm sorry...", I wanted to be there, but I don't know, her friends are probably over me as much as she is.

"Okay, I think... good luck! Good night Harinnie.", she said sweetly but from her voice I could feel that she was quite hurt, again.

My mind was a mess, even if I knew that she was hurt by my actions I also thought she couldn't bear looking at my face.

"Good night.", I said turning off the call.

I looked beside my bed and saw the jar of pills prescribed by the psychiatrist, took more than I could in my hands, and chugged down with water hoping to sleep as fast as possible so I wouldn't have to deal with my emotions.

-----------------------

"I have a deadline for a son..." Haerin tried to lie but she was cut before she could finish her sentence.

"HAERIN!", the smaller girl flinched at Bada's scream. "I'm sorry", Bada said touching her arm, Bada's voice echoed in her head, her sight was blurry, and she was completely drugged as a result of the pills she had been eating like candy every day for the last 3 weeks.

"Tell me what is happening, please.", Bada begged, her voice was sweet but hurt, the usual from the last days. "I cannot pretend everything's fine, you've been acting so different and...", she was teary-eyed and said her words in a choke. "You're hurting me", she sighned lowering her head, she didn't know what to do anymore, it seemed like suddenly Haerin didn't care about anything or anyone, she didn't talk or eat, she just followed her instructions like a robot, not showing any emotion. Bada had seen Haerin going through her ups and downs in their years of friendship, but nothing looked like this, her heart was scrunching and she felt like she lost Haerin forever, she was desperate to take her back to life.

Haerin did not know what to do, she didn't feel guilt or any sense of empathy, she just didn't feel anything.

"When I look at you, I can't even recognize your eyes...", Haerin's eyes normally had the prettiest sparkle looked opaque, the bags under her eyes were in a weird red tone, realization hit Bada, she remembered the fight she overhead one day, where Namjoon was screaming at Haerin for taking more pills than she should. She could almost hear Namjoon's angry statement.

"Look at you, you don't even look like yourself.".

Bada got up and took Haerin's bag, the girl was too slow to react, as expected. She found the guilty, a jar of medicine almost empty.

"That's what you've been doing? That's why you're acting like that, right?", Bada almost screamed, anger and sadness filling her heart at the thought of Haerin drugging herself, her eyes filled with tears, she tried to hold back but it was too much.

"Why did you do that? What is happening?", she asked again but it was hopeless to try and talk to Haerin at that moment, and even if she was angry she understood why Haerin couldn't just talk when facing her downs.

"I don't know... I'm sorry Bada.", Haerin whispered, her eyes looked so empty, so vain, yet she was so vulnerable.

When Bada heard her saying her name all the anger left her body leaving her only with sadness, the tears made their way down her cheeks, she tried not to sob but it was impossible, she knew Haerin just needed someone to understand her.

"I'll take you home, you're gonna stop doing that, I'll be by your side all of the time, and when you get better we'll talk, okay?". Bada wrapped her arms around Haerin's body, she knew Haerin was basically the personification of the side effects of being drugged and that her actions weren't matching her intentions, but still hurt her deeply when Haerin didn't hug her back. "You're gonna be okay. We'll be okay.".

-----------------------

The sea waves break in front of us, and our skin is not burned by the sun but rather caressed by the cold, humid wind. The pain in my heart seems to get even worse when I realize I have nowhere to escape, I owe satisfaction to her, the person who laughs with me in the good moments also wants to cry with me in the sad ones.

"I am the problem, these feelings come and go like waves, they invade my heart and mind intensively as if I'm drowning, until the despair of trying to breathe stops, and suddenly I can breathe underwater, but the burning pain of being filled with salt water stays.", the weight on my shoulders feels less heavy, but now she's just like the last people who loved me and left me, now she knows my downs, I showed to her how messed up I am and everything will start to break in front of my eyes until the day she will disappear.

Her eyes were full of worry, her eyebrows slightly furred, and a small pout on her lips. "I know you hate to show vulnerability and I'm sorry that I forced you to do that, but Haerinnie...", she turned her body to me and intertwined our fingers. "I love you so much. I want to be the person who you will be sincere with, I want you to feel at home when you're with me as much as I feel when I'm with you.", her eyes were teary and her nose a bit red by the cold, the wind made her strands of hair loosen and perfectly flow like waves, she looked like the agitated sea in front of us, the most beautiful mess I've ever seem.

I wanted to say I was a mess and that if she kept seeing how broken I was she would get tired and soon leave, but she would say it's not true, she would promise to never leave me and I would believe with all of my heart, thinking I finally found someone, but as the years go by and time passes destiny would show me I was wrong for the thousandth time, and I would be alone again.

"I'm sorry for making you go through this hell, I will never do this again, I hate hurting you."

Warm tears kept streaming down my cheeks while I sobbed desperately but silently, that pain was too much to bear, watching everything happen again was breaking every piece of my soul and I felt so hopeless.

"My baby...", she said in a choke, she sounded so hurt by just seeing me like that, I can't believe I've done this to her.

"I'm sorry.", I looked down, hands on my head as I colored her blue.

She carefully pulled me into a hug, touching me as if I could break at any moment, my head rested in between her neck and chest, and my tears soaked her skin and shirt. I could feel her shoulders shaking and her uneven breath, her soft cheeks resting on the side of my head as quiet sobs left her lips.

After some moments we both calmed down and all we could hear was the sea waves breaking on the coast.

"Look at me, Haerinnie.", she whispered.

I didn't want to, I felt too ashamed for putting her in that position, for making her cry so much about things she didn't even know.

I hugged even tighter, hiding my face deeper on her neck. A small giggle left her lips making my heart feel a bit warmer.

"Please baby, I want to say something to you.", she said with her lips almost inside my ear, making me laugh and slightly pull away from her by the agonizing sensation.

Our gazes met, she admired me with a loving smile on her lips while caressing my cheeks and fixing my hair. My eyes still glint with nervousness but I could not help but smile at the sight, my hands gently caressed her wrists.

"I am so lucky to have you, you're my favorite person in the world.", she pulled my face closer and gave small pecks on my cheeks.

I pouted at her statements, how can someone be so easy to love? How can someone be so sincere like that? It felt like my heart was melting in my chest.

"I love you so so much.", I made sure to look at her eyes while saying it so she could feel my sincerity as much as I felt hers.

Her smile widened and her eyes had so much emotion. "I love you more Harinnie, my Harinnie.", her arms wrapped around me and she pulled me into one more bear hug, inhaling my scent as she shrugged her face in my shoulders.

While feeling the warmth of being loved I could not help but think about the impact she has on me. I was feeling so down, so desperate, and hopeless for so many days and then she pulled me out of this as if my bad thoughts didn't have any meaning, making me feel so loved, with such eagerness to live life, this never happened before, no one ever had this power over me, her way of thinking and dealing with life was changing me to someone who could be better to myself, the world hasn't been the same since I was met with her happiness.

#bada lee imagine #bada lee fanfiction #bebe #bada lee fic #bada lee x y/n #bada one shot #bada fanfic #bada smut #lee bada #bada lee swf2 #Spotify

[maries-gallery]

>:3

Tbh I really just want some snuggles lol not feeling the greatest so can Licht or Nokto take care of me till my head stops hurting? (Or both I will never say no to both)

(feel free to ignore but I saw your post and thought why not lol)

Ghoul! I'm so sorry to hear your head hurts like this :( I hope it gets better soon! I'd be so happy if this can bring you even the tiniest of comfort <3 Don't forget to get lots of sleep if you can! Sending you lots of love and all my best wishes!

genre: comfort, fluff

characters: Nokto and Licht Klein

warnings: none

moon banner by the lovely @/saradika

For more content like this, check the masterlist

"Is your head any better?' Nokto's voice rings in your ears and echoes in your head, way too loud for comfort. 

You close your eyes, fingers pressing down in circular motions on your temples to try and soothe the radiating pain that spreads to the back of your neck and tickles at your simmering nausea. 

You miss the concern that flashes through Nokto’s crimson gaze, his heart squeezing in his chest as you bury yourself deeper into your pillows. Guilt claws at the pit of his stomach. 

“You asked her the same question five minutes ago, I don’t think things have gotten any better since then.” Licht’s words sound distorted through the pain, far away yet too close at the same time. 

You can’t hold back an amused chuckle at Licht’s words, it’s true, Nokto had been asking you the same question with each visit. 

“It’s okay, Nokto. It still hurts but the pain is much better now.” You flash him a comforting smile. The last thing you want is for him to feel bad about your current state. 

As soon as they heard you had collapsed in the library from a thunderous headache, the both of them had come running to your bedroom, reaching your door at the same time and you like to imagine the surprise written on their features when they caught sight of one another. 

A smile had touched your lips as they both crossed your door, touched by their apparent worry and the silver platter filled with sweets and medication held in Licht’s hands and the books and games held in Nokto’s. 

“Take this, it’ll help.” Licht said, his neutral features betraying a vivid concern as he held out some round pills and a glass of water for you to take. You gladly took them, popping the medication in your mouth and gulping it down. 

Your eyes traveled to the array of sweets he had brought, all resting on a pretty porcelain plate hand painted with intertwined roses and leaves and all mouth watering. A fraisier bright with fresh strawberries, a religieuse rich with chocolate icing and a dollop of cream, and a millefeuille generous in its crème pâtissière filled layers. 

“Thank you” You whispered, “I really appreciate it.” A faint smile touched his lips, and your heart softened at the sight. The smile’s from Licht were rare, but all blinding in their earnestness and honesty. 

Your eyes turned to Nokto, who had been silent until now, a grin etched on his features, one that didn’t serve to mask the gentle care in his eyes. “And what are those?” 

“Those, little fox, are books. You’ve probably read them a hundred times already but can’t blame a guy for trying to cheer up a pretty girl.” He gave you a playful wink, and your insides fluttered at his affectionate nickname. Even with his flirty tendencies, Nokto’s love always shone through his actions. 

“Oh?” You perked up, eyes scanning the leather bound tomes in his arms with professional scrutiny. You remembered seeing these in Chevalier’s library once, rare books from overseas and one of your favourites. 

“We’ve got Midnight Cinderella, I think you called it? The Tale of the Rose knight and The Little Mermaid.” Nokto spread out the novels on your bed covers, revealing golden titles all familiar. 

Your fingers traced upon the letters, warmth spreading in your chest as you pictured Nokto sneaking up in Chevalier’s private library to find books to your taste. 

“Have you read any of these?” You asked him, eyes meeting crimson ones. 

He shrugged his shoulders, “Nope. But I figured it might be time to discover them with you.” 

“He wants to impress you.” Licht’s flat tone reached your ears, smooth and soft as a paved stone. A chuckle spilled from your lips at his words. 

“I-” 

“I think your ‘little fox’ might enjoy some silence.” The older brother continued, throwing his sibling a warning glance. And you wanted to laugh,but it hurt too much, so you just observed them with eyes filled with mirth and the sparkles of amusement. 

After this the two of them had left your room, only to pop by at the same time thirty minutes later to ask about how you were. And the last two hours had been filled with these punctual visits, Licht here to make sure you take your meds correctly and eat the sweets, Nokto here to pop a joke and brighten your day with more and more books or games to pass the time. 

And whilst your head still hurts, the pain has grown softer over the last hours, better with each visit the brothers paid to your chamber. 

“Thank you for being here.” Your words are soft as they leave your lips, quiet and like a caress to their worried hearts. Your smile all they need to offer you one of their own. 

“Well, shall we read now?” 

taglist: @aquagirl1978 @randonauticrap @xbalayage @ikemen-writer @scorchieart @ikesimp100

#ikemen prince #ikemen prince fluff #ikemen prince fanfiction #ikemen prince fanfic #ikemen prince licht #ikemen series #ikemen cybird #ikemen licht klein #licht klein #licht klein fanfic #licht klein fanfiction #ikepri #ikepri fanfic #ikepri fanfiction #ikepri fluff #ikepri licht #ikepri licht klein #ikemen prince nokto #ikemen nokto klein #ikepri nokto #nokto klein #nokto klein fanfic #nokto klein fanfiction #nokto klein fluff

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Hi, are your requests open? If not, ignore this please, but I would really, really like a chishiya x reader fluff where readers love language is "nah I'll do it for you" but not like grand gestures, just random things. Kinda like the peeling an orange thing, or going downstairs to get a snack or running a bath after a hard day. But like, it goes both ways, reader doing stuff for chishiya and vice versa. Also, could it be post borderlands where they remember everything? Feel free to change anything or don't do it at all, I wouldn't mind. Also, I haven't ever actually requested with my real username, so I don't know if it would notify me if you post with this, but can you @ me? Bye and I really enjoy your writing!!!

I'll Do It!

requested?: yes pairing(s): shuntarō chishiya x gn!reader genre: fluff, angst if you squint warning(s): mentions of nightmares, fluff, mentions of sleeping pills, mentions of very poor mental health, chishiya being sweet towards reader (shock horror gasp), mentions of trouble sleeping, mentions of eating disorder summary: 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 word count: 1k a/n: ofc you can! my requests are practically always open and i do try my hardest to get through them, so sorry if this is late lol. also, think this is so cute and you have a great idea. just to add, can somone request something for bang chan please lmao, i wanna write for him but all my ideas are literally gone lmao. make sure to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! (P.s so sorry this took a while, ive been busy recently lol) tags: @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer

you and chishiya did absolutely everything for eachother. you both remembered the borderlands, which was a downside for the both of you, but you did both get over it. when chishiya went back to work, a lot changed.

it was almost as though he was never around, and he either worked so late that you were already asleep, or he would just crash when he got home. but of course, on the rare occasions he was working from home, you would bring him snacks and keep him company while he did so.

you had am office in your house that you had both decorated with comfy sofas, so you would sit and scroll through your phone while he worked, occasionally getting up to get a snack or a drink and bringing something back for him. you would also stand behind him sometimes and ask what he was doing, resulting in you being confused with the big fancy doctor words your boyfriend used in order to explain, so you ended up just sitting back down and pretending to understand (which he knew you wouldn't, and just chuckled anyways).

of course, you worked aswell, which also resulted in chishiya doing things for you. your work was mainly based at home, but you would have to go out and about to the office and do stuff sometimes. if it was a particularly stressful day, chishiya would run you a bath for after you finished work, and if you were working in the seperate office you had in your home, he would peep his head around the door and ask if you needed anything. if chishiya knew that you hadn't eaten anything yet, and you had said no to him asking if you needed anything, he would go get you a snack nontheless.

even though you both led very busy lives with your work, you also made time to cuddle in bed on a night, which took chishiya a while to get used to, but it was definately worth it.

there also lead to a problem with sleeping. sometimes one of you would have a nightmare and unintentionally wake the other, resulting in the other holding the other in their arms while the other calmed down and went back to sleep. more times than others, chishiya wouldn't wake you up when he had a nightmare, because he was a silent sleeper. but you, however, did wake him up since you were a quiet sleeper, but a one that moved around quite a lot. so you thrashed around quite a lot, with the occasional mutter of "no" or sometimes even you screamed.

the first time this did happen, however, chishiya thought there was an intruder, so he ultimately went into panic mode aswell, jumping awake and turning the light on, before realising it was just a nightmare you were having. he managed to wake you up as softly as he could, holding you in his arms as he whispered to you that everything would just about be alright. you believed him, well, almost.

the time he woke you up, he was just flinching and twitching in his sleep, and you woke him up. chishiya being chishiya, though, pretended nothing was wrong, but didn't say no to you holding him until he wemt back to sleep.

you almost believed that everything would be alright, because when your mental health started to slowly get worse, so did the nightmares. chishiya did notice you slowly started to eat less, and also sleep less, but he thought you would manage to get yourself back up on your feet. only when you started to get a lot worse, did he start to intervene.

it started off slow, just small snacks, before it turned into small meals, then bigger meals, then you were eating properly again. but that didn't change your sleeping. even though your eating patterns were improving, your nightmares were still getting worse.

almost every night you woke up screaming and crying, but even the nights you didn't, you would still be up throughout the night. chishiya was starting to get worried, even though he didn't show it that much, he worried.

after a while, you got a cat, aswell as sleeping pills perscribed from your doctor boyfriend himself. he thought the cat would help with anxiety, and the pills with sleeping. and they did, for a while at least. as much as chishiya loved you, he couldn't keep waking up due to your screams and nightmares.

the pills worked for around a month, before you started to get worse again. the pills weren't working as much as they used to and you were waking up a lot more. you had both tried everything, from pills to pillow mist, nothing was working.

your cat, did hep with bits of anxiety when you had the occasional anxiety or panic attack. but other than that, you were practically on your own. chishiya did help, but he wasn't there all the time. he did advise you to go get therapy, but even if you did, nobody would believe you other than the man l who suggested it himself.

at this point, you were barely sleeping. you would try not to wake chishiya, but whenever you were awake, so was he. it was almost as though he just knew you would be awake.

this one particular night, you had a worse nightmare, you were thrashing around all night and chishiya was awake. it was only when the screams started that he woke you up, you were hitting his chest in protest until you realised it was him.

"sh, sh, sh" he says, bringing your sobbing frame into his arms, your face soaking his night shirt with your tears. "you're okay, i'm here, everything is okay" he whispers, stroking your hair and leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head.

your sobs eventually died down, and chishiya just about thought you were asleep until you whispered.

"i'm sorry" you whispered into his chest.

"what for?" he says, cupping your cheeks in his hands and making you move your head so you were looking at him.

"keeping you awake every night" you whisper back.

"honey, it's fine, as long as you're okay" he says, bringing you back into his chest.

"i love you" you mutter, and you just about hear him say it back before sleep overcame you.

#alice in borderland #fluff #chishiya x reader #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya angst #chishiya fluff

[vintagepresley]

68′ Comeback Special.... Part 8 (After the special)

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Reader

Word Count: 10,276 words 

Warning: 18+ SMUTSMUTSMUT Tons of fluff, talks of pregnancy, mention of sleeping pills, shower sex (elvis uses the shower head to play with your clit), fingering, handjob, rough sex, rough choking, cursing, dirty talk, praise, a bit of a mommy kink sprinkled in for elvis, typical elvis stuff. 

Author’s Notes: IT’S FINALLY HERE. Sorry, it took a bit longer than usual for me to write this one, I had serious writer’s block like mid way into the story, lol. But this one got lot of interesting things going on especially for what’s to come in the last two chapters. But we’ve got a good amount of fluff and smut in this one! Prepare yourselves for the ending, it’ll probably make you tear up, I know I got a little emotional writing it. Anyway, I hope you guys love it! Spelling errors possible!!!

For my darling, I love you, and I always will…

The silence still looming over the two of you after you finally revealed your secret to Elvis, you were trying to get a read on his face he looked a bit stunned. “Um, I’m sorry, what did ya say?” he said needing just to hear it one more time just to make sure he heard you correctly. “I’m pregnant…” you muttered once again. You watched as he quickly put out his cigar and sat up in the bed rather quickly. “W-When? H-H… D-Did you just find this out today???” he said fumbling over his words. You shook your head slowly as you sat up now as well. “No… I’ve known for a few weeks now.” You said softly. “Weeks?? Baby, we’ve been talkin’ on the phone every day. Why didn’t ‘cha say somethin’?” he asked. “You had a lot of things happening already, I didn’t want to add more to it.” You uttered. You could see from the boyish grin on his face that he was so happy and excited already, but somehow you didn’t feel the same. You felt unsure of the whole thing.

You watched as Elvis shot up from the bed and went to grab his robe, wrapping himself in it and he came back pacing back and forth excitedly and going on about how happy his dad was going to be. Then he sat back down next to you, his whole body was fidgeting and shaking. “Oh, man.. This is… J-Just wait till I tell the guys!” He said happily. He got up once again pacing and he was honestly making you a bit anxious because he was all over the place. Your heart was breaking though because he was so excited and for some reason you just couldn’t feel the same. “Elvis.” you said softly, but he continued to ramble happily. “Elvis!” you shouted out to him, snapping him out of it. “Yeah, baby?” he said with a smile. “Can you please sit down; you’re making me nervous. “Oh, yeah, I guess I got overexcited.” He smiled, sitting back down on the bed next to you. You grabbed a hold of his hands, staring at him with a small smile.

“I love how excited and happy you are, honey. I do, but we need to talk about this. I-I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” You say, watching that happy boyish smile of his slowly disappear, the sight of it breaking your heart more. He nodded slowly. “I-I-I understand, honey. I mean, did you want to get rid of it? He said with a hint of sadness in his voice. You let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do. I think I just need a little time to think about it. But I just wanted to tell you.” You say. “Whatever you decide I’ll be here to support you. I-I can maybe ask Dr. Nick if he knows any doctors we can speak with if you choose to get rid of it.” He nodded as he spoke softly. “Thank you, honey. I just need a few days to think about this.” You say, leaning over toward him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

He returned your kiss with a small smile, he wouldn’t say this out loud to you, but he was hoping that you’d decide to keep the baby. But he was going to support you no matter what. He knew that there would be some judgement with the two of you not being married, but he didn’t care. This was everything he’s been wanting. But he wasn’t going to let himself get too excited until he knew what you decided on, but as much as he tried to hide it, he was a little upset about the fact you’d even consider getting rid of it.

You tried to change the subject now because the sadness on his face was making you feel so bad for not being just as excited. You curled up next to him, pulling the blankets over you and pressing a kiss to his cheek as you cuddled into his side, he smiled a bit as he looked down at you. “When time are your shows tomorrow?” you asked quietly. “I’ve got a dinner and a midnight show tomorrow.” He responded, wrapping his arms around you as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed. “Maybe we can spend some time together in the morning?” you said, smiling up at him. He nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “What did ya have in mind, darlin’?” he said softly. “Just something simple, we can have breakfast together, maybe watch a little tv.” You smiled, you honestly didn’t care what you did, you just wanted to be with him.

He smiled with a nod. “That sounds nice, we can order up a ton of things for breakfast.” He said with a soft chuckle. You smiled at his words and then you watched him reach over into his bedside table, taking out some sleeping pills and you raised eyebrow at him. “We should get to sleep then.” He said softly. “Elvis, you don’t need to take those.” You said looking up at him. “Aw, hell, don’t start with that, baby. You know how bad my insomnia can be. These help me.” He said, shaking a couple pills out into his hand and offering you one. You shook your head at his offer. He shrugged, closing the bottle, and shoving it back in the bedside table, he got up from the bed and grabbed the cup that sat on his bedside table walked into the bathroom, popping the pills into his mouth, turning the bathroom sink and filling the cup up and drinking some of the water, swallowing the pills down. You let out a soft sigh, knowing that he wouldn’t be awake for much longer and you wanted to spend a little more time talking to him, because you knew he’d probably wake up late tomorrow and your time together would be cut short.

He got back into bed with you, setting the cup down, climbing underneath the blankets as he laid down and you scooted back over to him, lying beside him, wrapping your arm around his abdomen, and resting your head against his chest, staring up at him, you felt his arm drape around you. “Will you be up before noon, Elvis?” you asked. “Mhm…” he mumbled out, you were already losing him to his slumber as his pills slowly took effect. “You promise?” you muttered softly. “P-Promise, baby..” he mumbled softly, brushing his hand lightly over your arm, closing his eyes. As you laid there against him you started to hear him snore, you traced your fingers lightly over his chest as you listened to him sleep, draping your leg over his as you cuddled against him, you laid awake for a few hours just thinking about what you were going to do about the pregnancy, the excitement on Elvis’ face that replayed in your mind after you told him, which made you smile to yourself. You let out a soft sigh and knew if you kept thinking about this, you’d get no sleep, so you shook off the feelings and you carefully reached over to his bedside table, deciding to take one of his sleeping pills, reaching over for his water and taking a sip, swallowing your pill down, resting comfortably against him again, eventually dozing off.

The morning had come quick and you had woken up still laying in Elvis’ arms who was still knocked out cold, you lifted your head a bit and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek as he snored away, you carefully slipped yourself out of his arms, a chill coming over your naked body from the coldness of the room, you slipped into the bathroom grabbing a robe and slipping it on and tying it closed, you came back into the bedroom that was a complete mess after yesterday’s dramatics, you picked up Elvis’ watch that sat on the bedside table, checking the time and seeing that it was 10:30am. You glanced down at Elvis, hoping he would wake up soon so you could spend some time together. But you decide to order breakfast for the both of you since you were quite hungry and craving an assortment of things. You quietly walked out of the bedroom into the main part of the suite, grabbing the phone and calling down for room service, once someone answered you ordered Elvis some bacon and eggs with side of potatoes and a pot of coffee. Then for yourself you ordered some chocolate chip pancakes with eggs, a side fruit and some orange juice. You couldn’t decide on just getting one thing and your appetite was slowly changing. Once they said the food would be up shortly, you thanked them and hung up.

You walked back into the bedroom and climbing into bed with Elvis, gently shaking him to wake up. “Elvis.. Elvis, honey…” you said softly. He let out soft groan turning over in his sleep, you continued to try to wake him up, it was always a process to get him up in the mornings. You eventually gave up and decided to wait until he got himself up. You climbed off the bed and headed back into the main suite, shutting the bedroom door. You decided to call Jerry and Sandy’s room, hoping to speak with Sandy and updating her on the whole pregnancy debacle. The line shrilled for a few moments until you heard the line click and Sandy’s voice on the other end. “Hello?” “Sandy! Just the person I was trying to reach.” You said softly with a laugh. “Hi, y/n! I’ve been meaning to call you, I’m sorry for telling Jerry.” She says. “It’s alright, if there’s anyone other than Elvis, I’d want to know it’s you and Jerry. Speaking of… I finally told him last night.” You say quietly. “Oh my gosh, how did it go?” she says curiously. “Pretty much how I expected, he was excited. But I had to tell him that I wasn’t sure if I wanted this yet. He didn’t take that too well, but he understands. So, he’s leaving it up to me to decide on what to do. Y’know keeping it or… the other option.” You mumbled.

“Have you decided on what to do?” she asks. “I-I don’t know. Part of me wants to keep it especially with seeing how happy he was, but the other part of me is like are you really ready for that kind of responsibility and the changes that’ll come.” You say letting out a soft sigh. You suddenly hear a bit of commotion coming the bedroom, assuming Elvis was getting up. “I’ve gotta go. I think Elvis is awake, I’ll talk to you later.” You whispered over the phone. “Talk to you later.” She said and you both hung up the phone. You made your way into the bedroom to see Elvis was out of bed, but you could hear him in the bathroom, so you waited for him to come out and once he did, he was smiling at you. “I wasn’t expecting you to be awake yet, honey.” You said softly, walking over to him and wrapping your arms around him, hugging his waist. You stared up at him with a grin. He smiled, wrapping an arm around you, and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I promised ya I’d be up before noon, didn’t I?” he said playfully. You nodded with a smile. “I ordered us some breakfast.” You say, pulling away from him, but holding onto his hand. “Thank goodness, I’m starvin’.” He said with a grin.

You tugged at him gently, leading him into the main part of his suite and you let go of his hand, walking over to the record player, looking through some of his records, he walked up behind you, and you felt his arms wrapping around your waist, one of his hands gently rubbing over your stomach, you quickly turned around his arms, you didn’t want him getting attached the life inside of you until you made your decision, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders with a smile. “Can you pick something for us to listen to? You asked him sweetly. He leaned down pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “Of course, baby. I have a song I want you to listen to, I’ve been thinking about including it in my shows.” He nodded with a smile. “Really? I’d love to hear it! What’s it called?” you grinned up at him. “Just Pretend.” He smiled. “Hm.. Sounds interesting.” You giggled. You heard a knock at the door, kissed his cheek and pulled away, knowing it was probably the food, as you were answering the door, he was finding the demo he had recorded of the song, you thanked the bellhop and then started wheeling the tray over to the dining room table and began to set the table for you both.

Elvis had put the record on, and you heard the softness of his voice ringing out through the speakers, it sounded beautiful, it brought a smile to your face, you always loved when he sang ballads, he just had the voice for them. Once you finished setting the table you turned to face him, and he was already walking in your direction. “Whatdaya think, honey? Be honest with me.” he said as he sat down at the table, you poured him a cup of coffee and you sat down next to him, smiling. “I love it, Elvis. Your voice sounds incredible, but then again it always does. The lyrics and the melody are amazing. It’s perfect for your voice. It’s a really beautiful song.” You say with a smile. “You think so?” he says with a grin. You nodded with a smile. “You should add it to the show.” You say, as you cover pancakes in syrup. “Maybe.” He says, taking a sip of his coffee and took a few bites of his food. He glanced over at the stack of chocolate chip pancakes on your plate. “Can I try some?” he said with smile. “Elvis, you’re allergic to chocolate, aren’t you?.” You say with a soft laugh. “I get a little puffy, it’s fine. Just a few bites.” He says. You rolled your eyes at him, cutting a few pieces off for him and then feeding them to him, he chewed happily giving you a wink.

You giggled softly, it was moments like this with him that you enjoyed, there was something so sweet, and innocent about it. The side of him only you got see in private, the side you absolutely adored. He was like a little spoiled baby sometimes wanting to be taken care of and pampered, but sometimes it was something so simple like you feeding him. He grinned and started eating his own food now, you happily ate your pancakes. He was sipping his coffee and staring over at you he cleared his throat quietly. “So, the baby… I think we should talk about it.” he says. You looked over at him, shaking your head. “Elvis, please... I don’t want to talk about that right now.” You say softly. “P-Part of me hopes you keep it, honey.” He says quietly. You let out a soft sigh at his words, setting down your fork and now you weren’t even looking at him. “And if I decided to get rid of it? Will you hate me? Resent me?” you blurted out, peering up at him.

“What? Baby, of course not.” He said as he reached over to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. “Look at me, little…” he said softly. You slowly raised your head up and now you were staring into his blue eyes. “Nothing, I mean nothing... Could ever make me feel that way toward you, baby. I will respect anything you decide. But can I ask something?” he says. You nod your head slowly, listening to him intently. “What is it that has you unsure or afraid?” he asks curiously.

You let out a sharp exhale. “Everything. Things will change if I have this baby. I fear things between us will change. Seeing how well your show went last night and you doing more and probably going on tour, how’s that all going to work?” you say softly. “Don’t be silly, little one. Nothin’ is going to change between us, and you shouldn’t worry about all that. You’d both be well taken care of even if I am away for a bit.” He says bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing small kisses to it. “Elvis… I’m not worried about you taking care of us. I know you will. I’m just worried about you not finding me attractive anymore.” You said with a small pout. He furrowed his brow a bit at your words, shaking his head, patted his lap and gestured for you to come to him. “C’mere, little girl.” He said softly. You slowly got up from your chair and you walked over to him, sitting down on his lap and settling yourself there, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you stared at him with the same small pout. He slipped an arm around your waist and then brought his other hand up to your face, resting his index finger beneath your chin. “I am always going to find you attractive, hell… I can’t keep my hands off ya and that’s not going to change if you have a baby.” He said softly, learning up to press a loving kiss to your lips. “You’re beautiful. You’ll always be beautiful. My sweet girl.” He mumbled, pressing another kiss to your lips.

Your pout turned into a smile, and you could feel yourself blushing at his words, returning each of his loving kisses. “You mean that, Elvis?” you purred softly against his lips. “Mhm..” he mumbled, capturing your lips in another kiss and then you felt him lifting you into his arms as he jumped up out of his chair, you let out a soft squeal, clinging to him tighter. “Elvis!” you giggled. He grinned walking you over to the couch and gently laying you down, you bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him walk over to the record player to put on a record by The Ink Spots and you smiled to yourself, while some of the music he chose was rather old, it was quite romantic. He walked back over the couch with a grin, and he climbed on top of you, the weight of his body against your own only furthered your desire for him more, you brought your hands up to his face, your fingertips lightly caressing his cheeks as your eyes studied every part of his face, your eyes meeting and gazing into one another’s as the music played softly in the background. It all felt like something out of a movie. You didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as you loved him. How could I possibly get rid of this baby? There’s no way… He’d be such a wonderful father…Before your mind could even continue to drift off further, Elvis’ lips were against yours, kissing you passionately, your hands moved to rest on his shoulders, as you kissed him back a soft sound escaping you as you kissed, your legs moving to wrap around his waist.

His soft lips trailing down your chin and down to your neck, the feeling of his soft kisses against your skin causing a slight shiver to run throughout your body, you watched as he slowly opened your robe, revealing your breasts and he slowly kissed down to them, you let out a gasp when you felt his lips kiss over them and gazed lightly over your nipples, his lips were giving your breasts extra attention that it caused a soft whimper to escape you, you didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him to kiss every single part of your body with those beautiful soft lips, and without even realizing it the words, “More…More…” escaped your lips in a whisper. The more he opened your robe the further he kissed down your body. Suddenly you were interrupted by a knock on the door, but Elvis completely ignored it, continuing to tease your body with his kisses, so you also ignored it. But then the knock happened again, it just happened to be Joe and his knock was louder this time as he heard the music coming from inside. “EP. The Colonel wants to see you.” Joe shouted. You both let out an annoyed groan, knowing that he was going to have to answer it. “I’ll make him go away, baby.” He mumbled, pecking your lips softly before he got up off the couch, fixing his robe.

You let out a soft sigh, as he went to answer the door you sat up, closing your robe and fixing your hair, staring over in his direction as he and Joe conversated among themselves about something you couldn’t make out and once he had gotten rid of him and closed the door, he turned around and letting out a sigh as he shook his head. “Something the matter, honey?” you asked. “The Colonel just wants to see me in his office is all.” He says. You got up from the couch and walked over to him, taking his hands into yours and you pouted playfully. “Right now?” you say softly. He nodded and a small “Mhm.” Escaping him and he leaned down pressing several kisses to your lips. “But I’m not done playing with you, little one.” He mumbled and started walking to the bedroom, guiding you with him and you let out a soft giggle as you followed and he led you into the bathroom with him, starting the shower for the two of you.

Elvis had turned his attention to you, pulling you close to him by the front of your robe and ever so slowly untying it, you stared up at him as you bit down on your bottom lip, his hands pushing the fabric of the robe down your shoulders until it slipped off your frame and into a puddle on the floor, you stood completely naked in front of him, something that still made you super shy because of the way he always looked at you, like he was looking at you for the first time, every time. He stepped closer to you, his hands running along every curve of your body, his lips pressing gently against your cheek. You inhaled sharply from his gentle touching and kisses, he pulled back and took his robe off and it falling to the ground beside your own. “C’mon..” he said softly, grabbing a hold of your hand and leading you into the steaming shower, the warmth of the water raining down onto your bodies, soaking your hair. You felt Elvis grab your waist and he turned you around your back facing him, now he was pressing his body up against yours, you could feel his cock growing hard against your ass, and you let out a soft noise.

He had one arm wrapped around your waist and then with his other hand he ran it gently over your breasts, pressing small kisses to the back of your neck and down your shoulder blade, you leaned into him, wanting to just melt right into his arms. He grabbed the bar of soap and began to run it over your body slowly, causing suds to form on your body, you watched his hand move over every inch of your body with the soap, he was being so delicate, gentle and a bit of a tease, you watched as his hand moved between your thighs, you chewed at the inside of your cheek, feeling his hand so close to the heat between your legs, so desperate for his touch as you always were. You felt his hand move away and he was putting the soap down and now he was reaching up for the shower head that was removable, a playful grin on his lips as he brought it down between your legs, the pressure from the water hitting against your thigh made your body jolt slightly and then he parted your legs a bit further, changing the setting on the shower head as he aimed it directly onto your clit, your body shivered instantly at the sensation, squirming in his arms as a soft whimper escaped you.

His lips were hovering against your skin, sucking gently at the nape of your neck, the pressure of the water against your clit causing such friction and a sensation you had never felt before, you were moaning softly, your toes curling against the bathtub floor, your right hand reaching back to grab his cock, wrapping your hand around it and slowly pumping it in your hand, he let out a soft groan against your neck. He reached over and switched the water temperature to cold, the sudden change sent your body quivering all over and wanting to close your legs around the shower head, but he wouldn’t allow it, he propped your leg up, having your foot resting against the brim of the bathtub, your moans only growing louder, your head tilting back against his chest, your eyes rolling back as your hand continued to pump his cock at a swift and steady pace. Elvis kissed up to your ear slowly a smirk on his lips. “I want you to finger yourself for me, little one...” he mumbled between his groans.

You raised an eyebrow at his words, tilting your head to look at him with your usual innocent look. He placed his hand over yours, sliding your hand down between your legs. “Do it…” he whispered demandingly. You nodded your head slowly at his demands, you felt him grab two of your fingers and he forced them into you, you squirmed in his arms, letting out a louder moan. The intensity of the water against your clit and your fingers inside of you made everything even more pleasurable, all the while you were still pumping his cock in your hand, hearing his groans vibrating against your skin. You started to finger yourself using slow movements and you watched as he switched the temperature of the water back to hot, you let out a small squeal the sudden change of temperature only made you more sensitive to his little game, but the feeling was completely euphoric and erotic in the way that he was able to make your body feel this way. You began to pump your fingers a bit steadier inside your pussy, you could feel just how wet he had made you become, your eyes were rolling back as you felt him change up the setting on the shower head, this time the water was hitting your clit in a more intense way, he started moving the shower head up and down, letting the pressure of the water tease your clit, you didn’t know much longer you’d be able to take of this. You knew if he kept this up, you’d be cumming in a matter of minutes.

“E-Elvis… I-I want you inside of me..” you mumbled out breathlessly. It caused a smirk to form on his lips, he shook his head slowly. “Mm.. We don’t have time, little one… But I’m gonna make you cum for me.” He whispered in your ear. You let out a small whimper at his words, your body completely at his mercy begging for him to give you what you want. He reached down to remove your fingers from your pussy and shoved two of his long fingers inside of you, you felt yourself clench around them, you tightened your grip a bit on his cock, stroking him slow and long, feeling him throbbing in your hand, only furthering the sounds that escaped him to grow louder. He was moving the showerhead back and forth against you, the water hitting against your clit in rhythm along with his fingers that were deep inside of you, curling in such a way that they hit the spots that you loved. Your breathing was becoming heavy, the stimulation of the water and his fingers caused so much tension to grow within you that could feel your orgasm building, aching to be released.

You felt his lips against your shoulder, pressing light kisses as he kept up the tempo that he was playing with your body, while your hand continued to stroke and pump his cock at a quicker pace, the noises escaping the both of you only growing louder as you both approached your orgasms, you felt your body tense up, your toes curling against the tub, your free hand reaching up to claw at the shower curtain as you mumbled out the words, “Fuck, Elvis...” between each moan, your legs trembling as you felt yourself finally let go and cum all over his fingers. Elvis’ groans muffled against your skin, and you suddenly felt the warmth of his cum squirting out against your ass and he let out a soft, “Mm..” against your ear, dropping the showerhead and slowly pulling his fingers out of you, a quiet whimper escaping your lips at the feeling and you leaned against him as you tried to compose yourself, you felt his arms wrapping around your waist and you tilted your head up to look back at him, reaching you’re a hand up to place on the back of his head, lightly running your fingers through his hair.

He leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips with a smirk and then he turned you around to face him, you stared up at him with a big smile, tracing your hand gently against his abdomen. “Well… That was different...” you said softly with a giggle. He grinned and nodded his head slowly. “Mhm…” he said teasingly. You bit down on your bottom lip a sly smirk on your face, and you bent down to put the showerhead where it belongs. “After your shows tonight, maybe I’ll reward you.” You say, reaching down to graze your hand over his cock. “Mm.. I’ll be thinking about that all day now…” he muttered, smirking. “I hope the very thought of it gets you hard on stage.” You cooed, licking your lips. “Fuck… You’re such a tease, baby.” He growled. “Mhm.. Well, you better hurry up for your meeting with the Colonel!” You say with a smirk, kissing his cheek softly before stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel, and wrapping it tightly around your body, walking back into the bedroom and proceeding to search for an outfit to wear.

Once you found an outfit you were satisfied with you sat at the vanity to do your makeup as usual and not doing too much or too little, once you finished you got up and removed your towel and began to get dressed, you decided on a dark brown mini skirt giving it some flair by adding a chain tassel belt and then you paired the skirt with a green tank top, tucking it into the skirt. As for jewelry you added an arm cuff to your right arm and simple necklace to match and some of earrings, as you were finishing up you hear Elvis finishing up with his shower and moments later, he comes out in his robe and you smile at him, giving him a twirl. “What do you think of my outfit for tonight, honey?” you say happily. He chuckles softly as he gives your outfit a glance. “You look like a hippie.” He says with a smirk, shaking his head. “You don’t like it?” you say with a playful pout. He walks over to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I like it, baby.” He said with a grin, kissing your forehead once again before pulling away and getting dressed. You smiled at his words, sitting down on the bed, leaning back on your elbows as you watched him get ready. “What do you plan on doing until tonight, baby?” he asked giving you a glance with a smile as he continued to get dressed. “Besides waiting around all day until I see you tonight?” you laughed softly. “Don’t get cute.” He said rolling his eyes playfully.

You laughed softly and then you shrugged. “I don’t know, why?” you asked curiously. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come down to rehearsals, it’d be nice to have you there.” He smiled as he went over to the mirror at the vanity to start fixing his hair. “Yes, I’d love to!” you beamed, staring at him as he fixed his hair in the mirror, your eyes slowly looking over his outfit, he looked handsome but that wasn’t surprising wearing a long-sleeved blue striped shirt with most of it unbuttoned revealing his chest, with a pair of black pants and one of his flashy big belts to go along with it. You loved watching him get ready, he always had sort of a routine, there was no doubt that he was very humble, but there was always a bit of vanity in him, especially when it came to his appearance. You smiled as you watched him grab your eyeliner, you climbed off the bed and walked over to him. “Sit down, baby.” You say softly, taking the eyeliner from his hands, he raised an eyebrow at your words, a small smile on his lips as he sat down in the chair. “What are you doing?” he asked as you climbed into his lap. “I want to help you with your eyeliner.” You say with a smile, holding his face still with your other hand as you slowly and carefully began to do his eye makeup for him.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as he sat still for you. You smiled at him as you continued to do his eyeliner. Once you were done you put down the eyeliner and then grabbed the mascara and began to put a bit on his lashes the way he liked, gently caressing his face with your other hand. “You’re so beautiful.” You mumbled softly. He laughed not knowing how to respond to that, you knew he wouldn’t be able to take what you said seriously, but it was true. He had a face like no other, every curve, every line was just perfect. Simply Beautiful. Once you were done you climbed off his lap and standing back to look at your work and then you leaned down, cupping his face in your hands and then kissing his lips softly. “All done.” You mumbled against them. He turned to look in the mirror, checking himself out as he smiled. “It looks good... Hell, better than when I do it.” He said with a soft chuckle.

You smiled at his words, reaching over to fix the collar of his shirt as you smoothed it out a bit, staring up at him and catching a glimpse of his cute smile. “Will you be going to rehearsals after you meet with the Colonel?” you asked. He nodded, slipping an arm around your waist. “I’ll have one of the guys come up and get ya, honey. I’m really excited for you to come and introduce you to everyone.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to see my handsome man at work.” You said with a giggle, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. He chuckled at your words, returning your kiss. "I better go before the Colonel comes down here lookin’ for me.” He said rolling his eyes. “Yeah, we don’t need that…” you laughed as you watched Elvis grab a pair of his glasses, slipping them on and then he grabbed your hand leading you back out of the bedroom with him to walk him to the door. “Whatever this meeting is it shouldn’t be long. So, someone should be up soon to get ya, darlin’.” He said, opening the door to the suite, and you saw Joe and Sonny standing out in the hall waiting for him. You nodded at his words, leaning up to place a quick kiss to his cheek and you watched as he left with the two men, shutting the door.

You let out a soft happy sigh, you were so excited to see Elvis rehearse because it would be a first for you to see him truly in his element of creating the beautiful music he sings. You walked back over to the table where your breakfast still sat, and you picked over the food a bit as you ate some of it. You glanced down at your stomach, giving this whole baby thing another thought. Elvis made all your insecurities go away and part of you was starting to consider motherhood even though that still scared you, because what did you know about being a mother. You were still a baby yourself, that’s how Elvis treated you and made you feel, and you knew that the thought that was running through your head right now sounded ridiculous, but you didn’t want to share Elvis with anyone, not even with a baby. You were his baby. It was such childish way of thinking, it’s just how you felt. But you couldn’t stop picturing the excited expression on his face last night from news and how cute he was being that he literally couldn’t sit still. Maybe having a baby won’t be the worst thing to happen... This was going to be one of the hardest decisions of your life, but a decision had to be made soon before it became too late to get rid of it, but you shook off the thoughts not wanting to think about that right now and you started cleaning up, that was always a good distraction for you.

Meanwhile Elvis was in the Colonel’s office where they were discussing what was to come next and possible touring dates, unfortunately not overseas like Elvis wanted, but an American tour, he also gets news that the international hotel and the Colonel had drawn up a contract with Elvis playing at the hotel for a month out of year for the next 5 years, Elvis didn’t really like that because this wasn’t supposed to be a permanent thing, but he wasn’t one to argue when it came to the Colonel and business because he always ensured him that it’s good money and that it would not come to any cost to them. Elvis hesitantly agreed only because the promise of a tour. Even though it wasn’t everything he had wanted he was excited nonetheless because he just wanted to perform and do the thing, he loved the most and he figured he’d be doing that, might as well enjoy it. He couldn’t wait to tell you the news, once he left the Colonel’s office, he asked Joe to go back to his suite and bring you down to where he was rehearsing, he and Sonny headed down as Joe went to get you.

You had the suite a bit tidy now even trying to clean up the mess you and Elvis had made in the bedroom, doing your best to make it a bit easier on housekeeping. You heard a knock at the door, and you stopped what you were doing and went to answer it, smiling when you see its Joe. “Hey, Y/N, Elvis is wants me to bring you down now.” He said with a smile. “Okay, did his meeting the Colonel go well?” you asked as you grabbed your purse and headed out of the suite with him. “Well, he didn’t come out yelling. So, that was a good sign.” He laughed. You let out a soft chuckle. “That is a good sign, so he’ll be in good spirits.” You smiled as you both stepped onto the elevator and Joe pushed the button to the floor you were going to. “How’s Joanie doing? I didn’t get a chance to see her last night.” You say trying to make small talk. “She’s good. You’ll probably get a chance to see her tonight after the first show.” He nodded with a smile. You smiled and as soon as the elevator doors opened you both headed out and you followed behind Joe, you could hear the faint sounds of music playing and Elvis’ voice harmonizing along which brought a big smile to your face as you got more excited.

As you both approached the door to the rehearsal room, Joe opened the door for you and you walked inside everyone suddenly stopped what they were doing, you stood there fidgeting with your hands nervously and Elvis turned around and smiled widely when he saw you, he came waltzing over to you happily as if he didn’t just see you like an hour ago, which you thought was cute, he pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight. You returned his loving hug, inhaling his scent as you nuzzled your face into his chest a bit before he pulled away. “I’m so happy you’re here, I also have some news to share. But we’ll talk about that later, little.” He said. “Oh? I hope it’s good news!” you beamed. “It is, honey. C’mon, I wanna introduce ya to everyone.” He said, grabbing a hold of your hand and you couldn’t help but laugh, sometimes it felt like he was showing you off more than really introducing you to people. He led you over to everyone and made introductions with all of them, it felt like a whole new world with him in this element. Once he finished introducing you to everyone it felt like your head was spinning.

You watched as he went and grabbed you a chair, setting it off to the side so you could have the best view of everything, especially him. “Sit here, honey. N-Now I’ll want your honest opinion on some of these songs.” He said. You sat down, smiling up at him as you nodded. “I promise to give my honest opinion.” You laughed softly, knowing not to be too honest you did that once before and his anger got the better of him. You knew how things worked with Elvis, he wanted you to be honest but not to the point of embarrassing him or making him think you know better than him when it came to music. You watched him walk back to his seat and you were so excited that you could hardly sit still, you knew what a perfectionist he was especially when he’d play his demos for you and he’d still find something wrong even though it sounded perfect. So you weren’t sure what to expect from the rehearsal.

But the first song they began to play was Words by The Bee Gees, a song that was rather slow, but the way Elvis sang it gave it a faster tempo, and it was more upbeat. You were always amazed at how he was able to make songs sound so different that you completely forget what the original song even sounded like. You couldn’t stop smiling just watching him doing what he did best, what made him happy. It was fascinating to see how well of an ear he had for music the littlest mistake he could hear. It wasn’t all work and seriousness, they all made jokes and horsed around, especially with Elvis changing the lyrics to the songs and making them dirty. He then went into singing ‘Mary in the Morning’ and changing the name from Mary to Y/N, he was grinning over at you with that cheeky look of his as he sang directly to you, you couldn’t help but get shy and flustered. All the while thinking how sweet he was and the amount of love that you felt for him, he truly was the love of your life. No one else could make you feel the way he made you feel... Like a little girl and a woman all at the same time.

The rehearsals went on for another hour so until it was time for him and everyone to get ready for the first show, he came over to you with a wide smile. “What did you think?” he asked, placing a hand on your waist. “It was amazing, Elvis. Truly. I love seeing you do the thing you love. The songs are beautiful.” You smiled up at him. You swear you caught him almost blushing from your words, he leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. “Thank you, baby. I’ll see you at the show, don’t you go leaving in the middle of it again.” He said jokingly. “I won’t.” you said with a smile, watching him leave with everyone else and then Jerry came over to escort you out and he took to where some of the other guys were with some of the wives as everyone waited until it was time to go in and get your seats. Sandy had spotted you when she had entered the room, kissed Jerry, and then made her way to you, plopping down on the couch beside you, grinning ear to ear.

“Soooo, any other news on the B-A-B-Y.” she whispered, it always made you laugh at how nosy Sandy could be sometimes and how she was always wanting to know the happenings of everything, but you enjoyed that about her. You glanced around not really wanting the others to hear. “No, I mean, we talked about it again because he insisted, he reassured me of some things I was worried about. So, I don’t know... I might keep it. I just know it’d break his heart if I didn’t. He didn’t say that, but I just know it would.” you said with a shrug, Sandy seemed like she was over the moon about the possibility of you keeping it. “I call dibs on being the godmother if you do. Wow, Elvis as a father... That’s hard to picture.” She whispered and you both laughed. “You’d definitely be a godmother. Yeah, he’d be a good father, though. It’d be just as spoiled as he is.” You laughed.

Jerry came over to you now and gestured for you to come with him because it was time for all of you to go in and Elvis had you sitting in the same booth as his father and Dee, so he’d be able to see you in the crowd. You all got up and you followed behind Jerry to your seat, thanking him. You watched as he showroom quickly began to fill and it seemed it was more packed than it was on the first night, which didn’t seem possible because yesterday was pure madness with the roaring and screaming of the crowd and it only got crazier tonight, with the women now trying to climb up onto the stage trying to steal a kiss from Elvis, you didn’t let your jealously get the better of you this time, because you knew he was only doing his job and feeding them this version of Elvis Presley. You made it through both shows surprisingly not tired at all with a small intermission in between the two, he was amazing as always, putting on the show of a lifetime and strutting around on stage with such confidence and breaking out into karate moves in between songs. He was a bit looser tonight and not as nervous, cracking jobs and making the crowd laugh.

The entire time you were watching him you just couldn’t get over the fact that he belonged to you, that you were the woman that got to be by his side, share a bed with and live with him. That you knew him better than all these other women thought they knew him. You were the luckiest girl in the world who was pregnant with his child who would be the luckiest kid in the world to have him as a father. Jerry had come to get you once the second show was ending and you assumed he was going to be bringing you backstage to Elvis, but that wasn’t the case. “Elvis wants me to bring you up to the suite, he said he’d be up shortly.” He said with a smile, you nodded, getting up and following Jerry to the elevator as you two made your way up to the suite. Before you went inside, you hugged Jerry and thanked him and then turned to walk inside of the suite, kicking off your shoes and dropping your purse and you walked over to the couch throwing yourself onto it and you laid there patiently waiting for the man of the hour.

Moments had passed and you heard the door opening, you propped yourself on your elbows, seeing Elvis walk through that door, still in his jumpsuit that hugged his body in a way that you loved, and he was still a bit sweaty. He came waltzing over to you with a smirk. “I see your already in a good position to give me my reward you promised.” He said with a chuckle. You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head. “Is sex always on your mind, Elvis?” you laughed. He chuckled at your words as he sat down on the edge of the couch beside you, combing his fingers through your hair as you stared up at him. “No, not always, but if you’re layin’ like this in that short skirt, it’s hard not to think about it. Plus, after a show I’m always a little revved up, honey.” He said with a smirk, leaning down to kiss your lips. “Speaking of what did you think of the show?” he asked curiously. You returned his kiss with a smile. “It was wonderful. I could tell you weren’t so nervous this time.” you said, reaching up to brush strands of his messy hair out of his face. “Thank you, baby, that means a lot.” He smiled, kissing your lips again and now he was getting up onto the couch and hovering above you and you placed your hand against his chest to stop him, not surprised that he was trying to jump your bones already after probably thinking about fucking you the entire time he was performing.

“Don’t you want to shower first?” you asked. “Why? Do I smell?” he asked with a laugh. “Of course not. But I’m sure you want to unwind.” You said with a smile. “Nah, honey, I’m all turned on from being out there and lookin’ at you the whole night.” He said with a grin. You giggled softly. “Mm, I’m sure.” you smirked, watching him eyeing your skirt. You reached down, tugging it up, revealing your panties that he wasted no time removing and tossing to the floor, he spread your legs wide open, moving in between them, you watched eagerly, biting your bottom lip. He really did look incredibly sexy after a show, you loved the sweat that dripped down his face and his hairy chest, the feeling of it against your skin when you made love, making you just as dirty and messy as he was. You snapped out of your daydreaming of Elvis fucking you, you lifted your shirt up over your head and tossing it to the floor and he smirked at the sight of you not wearing a bra. He reached down to unzip his suit enough to pull his cock out that was already growing hard in his hand.

You reached up wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down against you, wanting to feel the weight of him on top of you. “Take what’s yours, baby. Fuck your reward.” You mumbled against his ear, letting out a soft whimper against it. “Well, shit, keep talkin’ to me like that, baby.” He said with a smirk, teasing your wet pussy with the head of his cock, slapping it gently against your clit, you let out a soft moan against his ear. “Don’t tease me, Elvis.. I want you deep inside of me.” You mumbled. You could tell your dirty talk was sending him over the edge, because he was forcing his cock inside of you roughly, you cried out against his ear, whimpering softly. “Such a good boy, I want you to fuck me hard..” you cooed in his ear. “Fuck, I love you.” He said between his groans, picking up the pace rather quickly as his hips slammed into your own, forcing every inch of himself inside of you with each thrust he made, you held onto him, gripping the fabric of his jumpsuit as your moans grew louder.

“Y-Yes, baby, just like that…” you moaned out, tilting your head back against the couch as he fucked you with a roughness you never felt before, he grabbed a hold of your hips, holding you down on the couch as he fucked you mercilessly. You brought your hands down to your breasts, cupping them tightly in your hands as you arched your back, moaning out his name loudly and mumbling a few words after repeatedly, “You’re such a good boy...” which you knew he loved hearing, he got off on it. His rings on his hands were piercing your skin the tighter he gripped your waist, leaving bruises behind, his sweat dripping down onto your body, only furthering the pleasure that you felt, he was groaning loudly against your neck, breathing heavily, almost out of breath but he kept up the rough tempo and rhythm within you, it felt like he was destroying you from the inside, you grabbed one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat. “Choke me, Elvis… Don’t you dare hold back..” You whispered. You knew the high he was riding after his shows did things to him and you knew it’d be the perfect time to get him to be as rough as he can be.

He was shocked at your behavior, but he was loving every minute of it, he had to admit you kept things interesting each time you had sex. He never knew what to expect from you. He wrapped his hand around your throat tight and it happened to be the hand with the most rings on it, so the coldness from them sent shivers down your spine and you whimpered from the rough feeling of them and him tightening his grip around your throat, making it hard for you to breath, you gasped softly as your moans slipped out muffled and now you were rocking your hips along with his movements, tangling one of your hands in his hair and tugging at it roughly, the both of you moaning and making all sorts of noises as your bodies collided with one another roughly, your orgasms rapidly approaching, you both reaching that peak of pure bliss. “D-Don’t you let a drop of your cum spill out of me, baby..” your words coming out muffled as his hand was still wrapped tight around your throat.

That completely sent him into a frenzy when he heard those words and he felt his body completely tense up on him, making him lose control as he reached his orgasm, filling you up with his cum that came shooting out of him, your body shook beneath him when you felt him cum and that’s when your body finally gave in and you came all over his cock, holding onto his hand that was around your neck as the two of you road out your orgasms together until you came to a stop, he let go of your throat, pulling himself out of you and collapsing on top of you, his body weight heavy on you, as he laid his head on your chest, breathing so heavy he couldn’t even speak. You combed your fingers through hair delicately, as you tried to catch your breath, giggling to yourself because of how crazy you made him, you glanced down at him, hugging your body and nuzzling his face into your chest. “Goddamn, woman… You are dirty little girl.” He mumbled against you.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, shrugging. “It’s your fault, you bring those things out of me.” You grinned. He finally lifted his head up, kissing the small bruises he left behind on your neck and kissing up to your lips, you kissed him back softly. “I love you, Y/N. God do I love ya, baby.” he chuckled. “I love you too, Elvis.” You grinned, kissing his lips once more. “Now I can shower.” He laughed, sitting up and tucking himself back into his suit, but before he could get up, you pulled him back to you. “Wait, I want to tell you something, honey.” You said softly. “Okay, tell me what?” he asked, smiling at you. “I know I said I needed a few days, but I don’t think I do. I’ve decided on keeping the baby…” you say softly. You watched the same excited expression form on his face from last night. “Are you serious, honey?” he asked. “Yes, Elvis, I am.” You smiled at him. “Holy shit, this is actually happening… I-I’m going to be a father.” He said excitedly, you watched as he couldn’t sit still again, beaming with happiness, which only made you even happier. “Well, I guess now’s a good time then.” He said as he walked into the bedroom abruptly, you sat up now with a confused look on your face.

“A good time for what?” you shouted out to him; you could hear him fumbling around in the drawers of his bedside table. “Elvis?” you called out to him, wondering what he was talking about. Then you saw him reappear from the bedroom, his hand behind his back and you were staring at him with an eyebrow raised. “What’s going on? What is this a good time for?” you questioned him. He walked toward you now, standing directly in front of you and then you watched as he dropped down onto one knee, his hand emerging from his back in front of you, a small black box in the palm of his hand, he opened it slowly and you felt your heart drop to your stomach and a lump forming in your throat once you realized what he was doing, the ring was enormous, it had a huge diamond in the middle with smaller ones surrounding it. “E-Elvis…” you say softly, your eyes already welling up with tears. “Wait a minute, baby… Let me just say what I need to say to you.” He said with a smile.

You nodded at his words, trying your best to keep the tears from flowing as he took a hold of your hand, pressing several kisses against it. “I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to you, I love you so much, I think I’ve always loved you from the moment I saw you from that tiny stage at the special. The prettiest little girl in the crowd, starin’ at me with those innocent doe eyes of yours.” He chuckled and that caused you to giggle, he held your hand tight, and you could tell he was nervous because his hand was shaking. “I didn’t think I’d fall this hard, but here we are, gettin’ to know you this past year has been a dream. We fight like hell sometimes and you can be a bit overdramatic, but it only makes me fall for you more. You know me better than anymore, honestly. You listen to me better than anyone, understand me. I truly believe my mother would’ve loved you, I believe she sent you to me.” He says with a big smile, by this point the tears were streaming down your face and you were a crying mess, he reached up to wipe some of your tears away. You watched him take the ring out and set the small box aside and he grabbed your hand again, he stared up at you with his blue eyes that were so soft in this moment, you anxiously waited for him to say those four little words.

“Y/N, baby, will ya marry me?” he asked softly, slowly sliding the ring onto your finger, pressing another kiss to your hand. You couldn’t stop crying now, staring down at the ring at your finger and then back at him, you leaned forward, throwing your arms around him and hugging him tight. “Yes, yes, of course I’ll marry you!” you said, pulling back from him and planting a loving kiss to his lips as you cupped his face in your hands. “I love you so so much, Elvis. That was so beautiful.” You said sniffling softly, trying to stop yourself from crying. “You’re not marrying me just because I’m pregnant, are you?” you asked not wanting to ruin the moment, but you had to know. He laughed, shaking his head. “No, silly girl, I had planned on doing this for some time, just didn’t know when or how. But this moment just felt right, y’know?” he said with smile.

You nodded slowly, staring at the huge ring on your finger as you squealed with excitement. “This ring, Elvis... It’s stunning.” You said, kissing his lips again and he returned your kiss with a grin, pulling you into his arms so when he stood up, he lifted you up with him, wrapping your legs around his torso, and your arms snaked around his shoulders tight as he carried you, you beamed happily, kissing the side of his face repeatedly. “Only the best for my girl. Now lets go shower, little one.” He said, chuckling softly as he whisked you away into the bedroom with him.

“When you are not in love, you’re not alive…” - EP

*

TAGLIST: @erutluve​ @idk3453​ @elvisgirl35​ @godlypresley​ @lindszeppelin​ @re3kin​ @elvisdoll​ @pennyroyalcreep​ @kaitaesupremacy​ @presleyturner​ @presleybewbie​ @samfangirls​ @ilovehobi101​ @literally-just-elvis-fics​

sorry if I missed anyone!

#elvis presley #elvis x y/n #elvis x reader #elvis smut #elvis fluff #elvis fanfic #68 comeback special #graceland

[burninlovebutler]

29 - Be My Mistake* // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 5.9k-ish

summary: austin finds himself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with his chosen distraction. as his addiction worsens, the rose colored glasses begin to fog & his grip on control begins to wane.

warnings/notes: aspen lol, agitated!austin, smut, p n v (unprotected), pulling out ~toaster strudel vibes~, fluffy?, exchange of fun words, hints at SA (past, vague), substance use (weed, pills), addiction, short time skips, inherently saaaad u know the drill, plsss don’t be mad at me🫣, 18+ ONLY MDNI

previous chapter -> 28 - Temporary Fix*

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

And be my mistake, then turn out the light She bought me those jeans, the ones you like

I don't want to hug, I just want to sleep The smell of your hair, reminds me of her feet

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

-AUSTIN-

I pressed my back against my front door to click it closed and let out a heavy sigh. My middle finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the tension headache building behind my skull.

What the fuck had I just done?

I did what I set out to do. What I agreed to do.

If I wanted to keep my dirty little secret from her, I needed to follow through. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much – I didn’t think I’d hurt her that much. But the band aid was ripped off and I didn’t want to think of what would come next. The mere idea of losing her - my best friend – it was too much. I needed to numb it out.

Using my right foot, I kicked myself off the door and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk into.

“What the fuck was that about?” Spreading my arms out in exasperation when I walked back to Aspen in my bedroom. “I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are.” She confirmed, dropping her arms to her sides. “I don’t care who you fuck, but it just pissed me off how hypocritical she was being. It’s fucked up of her to show up here jealous over you, when she’s the one with a boyfriend.”

“Did what she say upset you?” I asked, ignoring her accusation of Elsie being jealous.

“The fact that you ditched me at the party to hook up with your best friend then called me afterwards?” Her voice not nearly as pissed as you’d think. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucking shitty Austin. But just as basic decency – not because I'm in love with you.”

“Look – you’re right. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do.” I stepped towards her and took her hands into my own. “Okay? I’m sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”

Chocolate brown eyes glanced up at me, anger flowed into playfulness, “Sure Aus.” She cooed with a wide smile.

The nickname sprung another tinge of pain in my stomach, nicknames were something only Elsie was ever allowed to use. Hearing another girl say them felt forbidden, as if it was some vile curse word you would only hear in snuff films.

“You’re not gonna chase after her?” She questioned, unfazed, crossing the floor to pluck an orange pill bottle from my nightstand.

“What?” I replied, surprised that she’d ask such a thing. I’d never met a girl like her, nothing seemed to really bother her. She must’ve been just as fucked up as me.

“Elsie? The girl that just ran out of your apartment?” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She scanned the pill bottle she picked up, then set it down for another one.

I wanted to run after her, I really fucking did. My insides felt like they were being ripped to pieces, like I ran my intestines through a paper shredder. But I accomplished exactly what I set out to do – push her away.  “No, why would I do that?” I made my way over to her, curious as to what she was analyzing.

“Because you’re in love with her.” The words left her mouth effortlessly, not a hesitation, stutter, or hiccup. She twisted the white cap off the prescription bottle with a crack and poured two white bar-shaped pills from the container. She lifted her hand with an offer, “Want one?”

It took a moment to wrap my head around what she just said. She spoke it with such conviction, like it was a well-known fact. Like it was as obvious as the sky being blue or grass being green. A terrifying thumping pit fell into my chest, similar to one you’d get as a kid when you were on the verge of getting caught misbehaving. I shook my head with a small laugh, waving away the mere suggestion, “I’m not in love with her.”

“Whatever you say buddy.” She shrugged, taking a bar and snapping it in half with her front teeth, swallowing it dry, offering me the other half again. “If you’re not in love with her, then she’s definitely in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stole the half pill, using an overnight glass of water to swig it down. “She’s not in love with me, you must still be high.”

She let out a chuckle at my words, “See? You can’t even say her name.”

“I’m not-” I mentally winced at the involuntary stutter and let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not in love with Elsie”

She gave me a skeptical ‘sure’ look with raised brows, “Mhm, whatever ya say babe.” Plopping on the bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “Just means I get ya for a bit longer.” Her full lips curled into a content grin.

My first instinct was to ask what exactly that meant, but I didn’t want to prolong the unnecessary conversation.

“Wait a minute,” Her brows furrowed, some realization clicking in her head and picked up another pill bottle, reading it once more. A booming laugh erupted from her, “Your last name is Butler?”

My eyes rolled again already knowing what was coming, “C’mon get it out of your system.”

She kicked her legs and fell back onto the bed, “You gonna fetch me dinner Butler?”

“Yep.” I nodded and sucked my teeth, hearing the same thing I’ve heard my whole life. “Mhm, let it out.”

“What about my laundry? You better separate my lights from darks.” She giggled, deep dimples denting her cheeks.

“Alright alright,” I readjusted on the bed, flipping to be on top of her, “That’s quite enough don’t ya think?” Pinning her arms at each side of her head, she reflexively tugged her head to the side to yank the blonde strands I had landed on.

She continued to laugh, “Ya know, an act like this might get ya fired.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Her laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

She stilled beneath me, her giggles fading, and hazelnut eyes lined with long lashes blinked up at me softly, “Make me.”

My gaze lingered on her. She was so beautiful when she was completely stripped down like she was then. Her features were so soft and feminine, gentle slopes for cheekbones adorned with deep valley dimples and a button nose. If she wore less glittery makeup and didn’t want to dye her hair pink, she could easily be a Victoria’s Secret model.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I voiced my thoughts.

She blushed and waved me away, “Oh shut up.” She giggled.

“Make me.” I turned the command back on her like some sort of power game.

She took the bait, taking my face in her delicate hands, seemingly analyzing my face the way I did hers. She drew her thumb across my cheekbone before pulling me down into a kiss. The more I kissed her, the less guilty I felt. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever not have some inexplicable guilt looming in the background.

Her fingers tangled into my wavy locks that were in desperate need of a trim and took the initiative of swiping her tongue across my bottom lip for entrance. My fingertips grazed under her thighs bringing them around my hips as our tongues danced together. She locked her legs around me pulling me against her core which I forgot was still only covered with lacy panties. I pulled from her lips and dropped my head into the curve of her neck to let out a low groan from the friction against my hardening cock. My hands trailed up under the borrowed shirt along her sides and he whined softly, “Aus.”

I drew away to look at her when she covered her face with her arm shyly, a stark contrast to her usually confident sex appeal. “Hey,” I said softly, trailing my fingers up her sides, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

She moved her wrist to cover her forehead, blush feathered across her cheeks. “Yeah… I don’t know, I don’t think I’m high yet.”

“Oh, um,” I pulled my lip between my teeth, “Well we can stop if you want or I don’t really…”

“No no, it’s okay.” Her smile pulled a little too tight, “It’s okay, we can keep going.”

Something about this scene gave a sort of, déjà vu moment. It reminded me of that New Year’s Eve night with Elsie, where she didn’t want me to take off her dress but told me to anyway, if that’s what I wanted. But this was a side of Aspen I’d never seen, she was never shy with sex or with her body for that matter. “Did I do something wrong? I really didn’t mean to upset you.” My hand found her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, no you didn’t. I just – I don’t know, it’s hard for me to um,” She cleared her throat, “Sex is hard for me when I’m sober. I just,” She pressed her lips together and diverted her eyes, “It’s- actually, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.” Waving away the topic, her grin wide but her eyes dim.

“No, no because it’s obviously a big deal ‘Pen, what’s wrong?”

She propped herself up on her elbows, blonde strands cascading down her shoulder, “It’s really not a big deal we can just continue, it’s fine.” Her tone light and rather dismissive.

“’Pen there’s obviously something wrong I’m not just gonna keep going if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me, okay?” I brought my hand to her face and gently placing a knuckle beneath her chin. “I wanna know so I can be more careful.”

Aspen exhaled deeply, “The guys at work can sometimes be… forceful.” Her eyes trailed off, focusing on the wall behind me. “And some of them don’t like the word no.” She stated quietly before reaching my eyes again, “It can be kind of triggering? I guess? To do stuff when I’m sober. Being high really helps with that.”

It took me longer than it should’ve for me to really understand what she was saying. It made me so sad for her. Since I was always Elsie’s plus-one to parties, clubs or bars, I’d seen my fair share of inappropriate bullshit from random men. They’d cross boundaries with her, even right in front of me, even when most people would just assume that I was her boyfriend. Of course a literal strip club would be worse, I just never thought of it that way. She never complained about work or any of her clients. I felt like an asshole for it not even crossing my mind. “Oh my god Aspen,” I felt myself involuntarily loosen my grip on her thigh, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that I just I didn’t I don’t-”

She giggled, “Sh sh.” Placing a finger on my rambling lips, “It’s not you, you never make me feel like that.” She said quietly, “It’s okay,” Moving her hand from my lips to cup my cheek, “I feel safe with you.” Her eyes soft and genuine. “I will let you know if I’m having a bad time, okay?”

I nodded, suppressing the urge to ask her once again if she was sure, “Okay, sounds good.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. “I would never do anything like that to you. I promise. Never ever.”

She folded her top lip over her bottom, “I know. I believe you.” Then dragged her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’ve got such a beautiful soul, you know that?” Her voice was so quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear her. “You’re really beautiful on the outside too.”

Her words took me by surprise, it’s not every day that a guy gets a compliment like that. I’d never had anyone tell me they think I’m beautiful, nonetheless my fucking soul? There was a small, unexpected flutter in my stomach. “Well, thank you.” I replied softly, pressing my lips to hers, “You-” I began but she cut me off with a deeper kiss.

I pulled away again to return the compliment, but she promptly placed two fingers against my lips before I could speak, “You don’t need to say anything back.” Her chestnut brown eyes locked with mine and her voice stern beneath a slight tremble. “When I say things to you, it’s because I mean them – not because I hope you’ll say them back.”

Her words loomed a heaviness that my increasing high couldn’t begin to comprehend. As soon as I nodded, she reeled me back into the kiss, deepening it almost immediately. She wrapped her legs around my hips and drew me down against her core. She disconnected from the kiss, “Please fuck me.”

“You’re gonna drive me insane.” I muttered under my breath before dropping my head in her neck, leaving sloppy kisses behind. I tugged her skin into my mouth with a suck as I began rutting my hips against her heat. She let out small moans every time my cock would roll up against her clit. She dug her nails into my back, “Fuck, Austin, I need you to fuck me.” She mewled.

I continued leaving messy kisses on her neck, focusing one on her sweet spot just below her ear, “I want you to beg for it.” I muttered against her neck and dug my nails into her hips.

“Austin please, please.” She whined, “Fuck, I need your cock so fucking bad.”

My cock twitched at her words, it was almost painful how hard I was. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled back from her enough to slip my shorts off, letting my cock spring free. Aspen’s eyes tracked my member as she trailed her hand down and slipped beneath her panties, beginning to rub her clit.

The sight of her was driving me crazy. I precariously pushed her panties to the side and slid my tip up through her deliciously wet folds before gradually dipping into her entrance. The minute she felt me inside her, she let out a loud gasp. I slid into her slowly, inch by inch, just to torture her. I let out a groan once I felt myself reach the deepest part of her, “God, you’re so fucking tight.”

The hand that wasn’t working on her clit pushed open the button down she’d borrowed from me, revealing her lace covered breasts. She began kneading her right tit and playing with her hardened nipple over the sheer noir lace.

Control was slipping through my fingers already and it was reflected in my speed. “Fuck.” I muttered, as I propped up her thighs with my hands, using them as an anchor to keep her in place as I slammed in and out of her. Moans and curses poured from her lips the faster I went and the quicker she worked on her clit. “You feel so fucking good.” I groaned, squeezing her thigh and fucked her faster.

“Yeah?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I like being a cock slut for you.”

In all the time we’d been well, fucking, we’d used words like that plenty before but in light of the information she’d just given me, it made me feel almost guilty for using them. “You do?” The question came out significantly more transparent than intended.

She brought her free hand to my own that was holding up her leg, “I do.” She replied softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “I like it. You know that.” And gave a small giggle reassuring me that it was the truth.

“In that case,” I bent down to continue my work on her neck, trailing short sucking kisses up to her ear. “You like being my little cock slut huh?” I whispered and smirked when I could audibly hear her enjoy the words.

“Yours?” She squeaked quietly.

Thoughtlessly I replied, “Mine.”    

Her breathing accelerated, “Aus I’m close.” She whined, wrapping her fist in the excess sheets.

Her moans got louder as I continued to ram into her, “C’mon baby, I want you to fucking cum all over my cock.” I hummed against her neck, but I could feel her still teetering on her own ledge. I gripped her legs tight, “Be a good girl and cum for me, will you?”

It didn’t take much after that for her to reach her finish line, her back arching away from the bed sharply, “Fuck! Austin!”

I pulled myself back upright, tightening my grip on her thighs and drilled into her as she was still riding her high. The knot in my stomach was already threatening to unravel but when her walls began to contract around me, I knew I was dangerously close, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” It felt like I was dangling from a string that was about to snap, “Fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum on me,” She answered quickly, brushing her hair off her chest, “Please cum on me?”

“Fuck,” I slammed into her trying to hold out for as long as possible but abruptly pulled out when I felt myself about to cum, “Fuck!” I groaned, pumping my cock until ribbons of cum coated chest and stomach. I rode out my high, leaving her completely covered. “Fuck.” I breathed out, using the back of my clean hand to wipe off sweat from my forehead. “You look so fucking good covered in my cum.”

“Yeah?” She giggled, dragging a finger dangerously close to one of the patches.

“Don’t.” I warned her, with a propped brow.

She slid her finger through the puddle, then plopped it in her mouth. “Mmm.” She teased, “You should fill my mouth instead next time.”

My jaw nearly fell, “Cut that shit out or I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”

She bit down on her thumbnail with a mischievous smile, “Would that be so bad?”

-weeks later-

Aspen and I walked hazily through Manhattan, my arm slung over her shoulders, our steps synced up. It was a rare morning where we weren’t high, just remnants of weed in our system. She had all but moved into my apartment from how often she stayed over. We were on one fuck of a roll. It was so refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t hound you about your choices, someone who made those choices with you.

The blonde leaned into me as she walked, “I’ve been having so much fun with you Aus.”

‘Aus’

No matter how much fun we had, I still hated it coming out her mouth.

“Me too ‘Pen.” My arm curled her closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”

It was the truth; I hadn’t felt happy in so long, nonetheless have fun. Probably the last time I let myself have fun was Thanksgiving with Elsie. And even then, it was so tense. But Aspen made it so easy, I didn’t have to hide shit from her or tip toe around anything. It wasn’t complicated or painful, it was just fun.

“Guess we’re just meant for each other then.” She joked, nudging into me. We were on such a high that I didn’t wanna risk having to break her heart. I liked her sure, but I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I liked the casual dynamic we had.

“You haven’t talked about Elsie in a while?” She stated innocently.

I let out a sigh, “Yeah I know – I haven’t spoken to her since…everything.”

She hummed, nodding, “There’s something special about her isn’t there?” Her voice was casual, not happy, sad or jealous.

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes, “I told you we’re just friends.”

“You don’t gotta put on a show for me Austin, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.” Not a single trace of anger in her tone. “Hell, I can see it even when I just mention her name.”

I took a moment to gather my answer. I had gone over me and Elsie’s relationship a million times in my head, but each time it was like an ever-growing equation. The more I tried to solve it the less it made sense. “It doesn’t matter,” I stated plainly, keeping my eyes focused on some skyscraper in front of us. “She doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Sure she does. I can see that too.”

“What are you, some all-seeing oracle?” Shaking my head, “No you just don’t understand, there’s nothin’ there.”

“Austin, if there’s anything I know, it’s girls.” She let out a giggle, “And there’s definitely something there.”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It doesn’t matter, we’re – doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking.” She clarified with a playful grin.

I laughed nudging back into her, “No, I really like my time with you. It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Her tone dropped slightly, “I’m just a lesson girl.” Her eyes fell down to the pavement.

“Huh?” Looking down at her.

“You know,” She shrugged, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. “I’m always that girl. The girl you have fun with but not the girl you settle down with. I’m just a lesson; a bridge to that bring-home-to-mom girl.”

The words took me by surprise, and they made me sad for her.

Maybe I could be that for her. Maybe I wanted to be that? The one that doesn’t use her as a lesson.

Or maybe I just felt guilty, seeing as I too planned on being a temporary fix. This all started as a fucked-up game of blackmail after all.

My hand trailed down her arm and tangled our fingers together. I gave her a nudge, “You’re way more than a lesson ‘Pen.” Her girl-next-door brown eyes flickered up at me, “Not to me you aren’t.” She offered a sweet smile, looking like no one ever really gave her the chance to be more than a fuck buddy.

Once back at my loft it took no time for us to go another round. We flipped over on the couch with her propped up on top of me. She bounced on my cock sending a buzzing flare across my skin.

“Fuck.” I groaned, gripping onto her hips, helping to guide her rolling motions.

Small whimpers escaped her each time the head of my member embedded into the deepest part of her core. Her full tits bounced as she rode me, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around her midsection to keep her place as I rolled my hips up into her, reaching new depths with the angular position.

“Austin!” She cried out, taking my control and took over the riding, this time even more frantic and messy.

The heightened sensation from the weed and whatever else she gave me earlier kicked in driving me dangerously close. “Fuck - you’re gonna make me cum if you don’t slow down.” I grunted through labored breath.

She nodded and fell onto me, her face and whimpers in my neck. “I want your cum baby, cum inside me please.” She begged, her hand working quickly on her clit chasing her own orgasm. From her rapid breathing it seemed she was close too.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I moaned out, stealing control once more with my arms keeping her in place as I hammered into her in such a heated primal manner, for a brief moment I thought I might split her in two. Her moans and speed on herself matched my own, “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I grunted, my thrusts into her sloppy and desperate.

As I reached my climax it seemed she did too, now taking over and fucking herself on my twitching cock as it spilled seed into her. Somewhere weaved amongst our curses and moans she uttered words I didn’t expect.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened immediately, and I expected her to stop but she kept going, riding out our highs together. She rode me until I had nothing left to give her. Until she finally fell on the couch next me, breathless.

“God that never gets old,” She exhaled then glanced over me with hooded hazel eyes. “Your dick is too good.”  She joked.

I forced a smile in an attempt to act normal, “You ride me too good.” My own chest rising and falling rapidly.

She used the back of her hand to wipe off a layer of sweat from her forehead. “Dickmatized.” She chuckled.

She was pretending nothing happened. Maybe it was just the “dickmatization” – whatever the fuck that means - or the drugs that made her say what she said. Hopefully that was the case.

The words scared the shit out of me.

She stretched over behind us to pluck a half smoked blunt from and ash tray, promptly lighting the end causing a burning crackle. As she put her lips and inhaled it sizzled red at the end. Her back landed next to me again, exhaling a thick puff cloud of smoke above us.

I plucked the brown roll from her fingertips and mimicked her actions. As the puff cloud seeped from my lungs, my eyes followed the swirls of smoke. Aspen’s mention of Elsie from earlier rang like church bells in my head. God, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, our jokes. Even when I was high, I’d want to bring up our inside jokes, jokes that Aspen would never understand. As fucked up as it was, I wish it was Elsie here doing this with me. She stopped smoking with me after my breakdowns and she’d never do the things Aspen and I do. Not that I’d want her to – well, I guess in a selfish way I did. But I’d never let her.

It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t want from Elsie, I ruined everything. She wouldn’t take my calls and I didn’t blame her. Once I get my shit together, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll get sober and I won’t have to hide it from her anymore, I wouldn’t have to stay away anymore. We could go back to normal. I just needed to get this out of my system, like a last hurrah. This would be it. Forever. I’ll get sober and I’ll never touch anything ever again. But right now, I had it under control, and I was just having fun.

“Hey you okay?” The blonde nudged me obviously picking up on my dissociation.

“Yeah, yeah,” I snapped out of it, sitting up a bit. “Just uh- I think I’m coming down, we got anything over there?”

She stretched back over to the side table, holding her tongue between her lips while she focused. I heard a rattle of a bottle and just the noise relieved whatever internal struggle raged inside me. “A client gave me these, but I didn’t like them.” She shrugged, handing me the orange prescription container, “They made me sick, but you might like ‘em.”

I swiped the pad of my thumb across the label, “Thomas George” letting out a chuckle, “What kinda name is Thomas George?” I squinted reading the smaller print to see what exactly she handed me. “Oxycodone.” I read quietly exhaling when I realized what I was holding. “I’ve never tried these.” Looking up at her.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that shit’s strong,” She slumped next to me, “But I think we only have coke left.”

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear, so far I liked coke, but I liked pills so much better. “Fuck.” I held the bottle up to my eyeline and shook the pills, the bottle half full.

How different could it be from anything else I’ve taken? It couldn’t be that different, right?

I nodded, “Okay, I’ll be fine right?”

She grinned, tucking a strand of pink behind her ear, “I mean, if it feels good, it can’t be bad right?”

Aspen wasn’t like me – not fully at least. She did drugs for fun, she had an inclination for some and really got stuck on others. But she had some way of not getting fully addicted to anything. I didn’t know how she did it, but it was hard to keep up with her.

But I had kept up so far and I didn’t want her to catch on that I might not have the same talent her. I couldn’t have her be another Elsie, especially after what she just said to me moments ago. I could handle myself, I had it under control, and I didn’t need someone monitoring me. And I didn’t want to end my fun with Aspen prematurely.

“You sure?” I propped a brow up at her.

She shrugged, “It’s up to you babe. I won’t be able to see him for at least a week.”

Just the mention of him, even without his name boiled my blood. I furrowed my brows at her, “Wait why not?”

“O-Oh,” She faltered like I just caught her in some secret, “Um, he’s on a business trip!” Her annunciation peaking up indicating there was something she was hiding.

“I know you’re lying, what is it?”

“I-I well u-um-“ She stuttered.

“Spit it out Aspen!” My voice louder and harsher than I intended, the Xanax comedown was beginning to hit me.

She flinched, “Um, they went on vacation.”

My brows lowered and I felt my pulse rising, “Vacation?”

“Um, yeah it’s uh-“ She looked down playing with her thumbs, “It’s their one year.”

I clenched my jaw, “And where did they go?”

“Uh- I think they went to Cabo?” She winced pulling back from me.

“Cabo!” My voice booming throughout the loft, and I could feel a vein pulse in my forehead.

She shuddered, “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew it’d upset you.”

Letting out a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry ‘Pen.” Softening my tone, “I didn’t mean to yell like that. I’m coming down, okay?”

“It’s okay. I understand, I get like that too.” She kept her eyes down, playing with a stray thread on a pillow.

“Hey,” I picked her chin up to catch her eyes, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care about Cabo, I’m just pissed we have to wait for him to get back.” Lying straight through my teeth.

She relaxed her tensed body, “I can try to get something from the girls at work?”

“I’d really appreciate that.” The panic of our low stock and the vision of them on vacation began to overtake my mind. I needed to get it the fuck out. “You got water over there?” I winced at the thumping sound of my new upstairs neighbors, only worsening the pounding in my head.

She nodded and reached over, holding a cold glass of water for me. “Thanks.” Cranking the cap off the bottle with one hand and dropping a white pill in the palm of my hand. I tossed the pill back, taking the cup and swallowing it down with water.

“Now, how can I make it up to you?” I stretched behind us to place the glass down on the wooden side table.

The edges of her mouth curled into a soft smile, “Well we could-”

“Oh my god! What do they have a fucking elephant up there?” Pressing fingers into my pounding temple.

Aspen’s brows furrowed, “What?”

“The neighbors upstairs, it sounds like they’re playing Just Dance with cinderblocks for shoes.” I groaned spreading my digits across my eyebrows trying to ease the ache behind them.

She let out a small chuckle, “Babe I don’t think they’re even home.”

I rolled my eyes, “Are you serious? You haven’t heard them banging around and yelling for the past week?”

“No?” She laughed and nudged me, “I think you’re hearing things silly – or maybe you got...” She wiggled her fingers ominously, “ghosts ooooh.”

I curled my eyebrows together at her words thinking over the past week. “Yeah… maybe. I think I just have a bad migraine right now.” Shaking my head, thinking how the fuck she couldn’t hear the loud bustle from above. “How about we play some music?”

Aspen pulled herself up, “You have a migraine but you wanna play music?” She giggled, “You’re being so weird today.”

I stifled the kneejerk reaction to glare at her but just reached between us digging out my phone from the couch cushions. As soon as she saw me open Spotify and connect to my Alexa, she leaped over me. “Play something fun!” Tugging at my arm like a toddler, “We can dance!”

I knew if I didn’t give in to her, she wouldn’t drop it. I groaned like an annoyed boyfriend being dragged onto a dancefloor – which I guess, that’s exactly what it was. I begrudgingly peeled myself from the couch, mindlessly hit shuffle and dropped my phone on the couch cushion. The music lagged a bit before I finally met Aspen in the middle of my carpeted living room. She was clearly riding on her own high by the way she was bouncing around before the music even began.

An eerie calm began to wash through my veins and slow my brain. As the calming high from the pill ebbed in, I hadn’t even realized what song started playing until Aspen excitingly exclaimed, “I love Elvis!”

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach as the intro of Suspicious Minds creeped through the speaker. The nostalgic lyrics flashed memories of me and Elsie in my old dorm. Our impromptu performances were some of my favorite memories – they were innocent, careless, full of a forgotten hope that had long slipped from my fingers.

I could barely remember my life before Elsie, and I never thought there would be a life after her. I guess I always just assumed we’d always have each other. I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t have her in my life or where we weren’t “Austin and Elsie” - nonetheless because of me. It wasn’t until that moment that the reality set in, that she may not forgive me. I wanted to believe that we could make it through anything, but this was uncharted territory. 

Seeing Aspen spin in Elsie’s place felt like a cheap replacement, like a knockoff designer bag or a low-quality pirated movie. The truth was that I missed her. I missed her so fucking much. 

Thankfully, the new drug seeping into my system began to numb my racing thoughts. The foreign feeling of it surprised me, it was reminiscent of Xanax but better - which I didn’t think was possible. If Xanax was a fluffy cloud, Percocet was an endless sea of silky fluff. The aching remorse faded into the background and the room seemed lighter than before. Aspen took my hand in an effort to get me to dance with her and for a split second I could’ve sworn it was Elsie. The initial excitement of the error didn’t disappear though and the music helped soothe the turbulence in my brain. 

If this was the bed I chose to make, maybe one constructed from sugary marshmallow fluff wouldn’t be so bad. 

Next Chapter -> 30 - It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

Thank you for every like, reblog or comment, it means the world to me truly. I love hearing your thoughts and I'm glad you're liking my little story 💗

sorry this took so long - highkey this chp was so difficult for me to edit/finish for some reason, so, sorry if it’s not the best :/

Tag list: @cryingabtab @slowsweetlove @feverdreamcaoilainn @denised916 @julie181 @navsblog @michellelv @suspiciouselvis @presleysdarling @eddiesgorlie @ranaissingle @malachimochi @purejasmine

(if you'd like to be added pls comment 💗)

#yes this chapter & the next are named after the 1975 songs and what of it #ok i’m sorry i’m obsessed #i’m like 2 seconds away from writing a matty healy fanfic lmao #addict!austin #austin x aspen #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfic #austin butler x oc #austin butler x fem!oc #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler smut #austin butler angst #austin butler fluff #austin butler sad #austin butler friends to lovers #friends to lovers #austin butler series #forever winter series #forever winter fic #austin butler x afab!oc #austin x elsie<3 #friends to enemies to lovers #forever winter!austin #Spotify #austin butler x fem!reader

[lover-of-mine]

hmm i actually don’t feel as bad about the episode as i was expecting to! it was dumb don’t get me wrong, the marisol plot was stupid but i’m assuming it was just to reintroduce eddie’s catholic guilt lol and i still feel like eddie is a little ooc despite what they’re saying about him learning where he does wrong in relationships etc. but honestly my main take away is that queer eddie was on the table. queer eddie was something they were considering. it was originally gonna be queer eddie. they were gonna do a queer eddie arc but presumably thought it would be better suited to buck right now. if queer eddie was on the table as a possibility perhaps to the point that it was changed so close to filming that oliver only found out during filming the cruise, then that gives us a huge change that it’s still on the table as a possibility later on. i’m shakinnnnn

Hi darling, this took a while to answer, sorry, but I was feeling the same way and I was so scared I was gonna go deranged like 7x04 made me that I took a sleeping pill and forgot to come back to check the post episode asks. But, yeah, I'm so so so with you, I was really worried, the Marisol plot was really weird and I'm curious to see how it's gonna pay off if it was just to force Eddie to talk about his religious trauma. But yeah, I mean, even since they confirmed queer Buck, I am just trying to believe they are gonna go there with Eddie too, because if they can go there with one of them they can go with the both of them. And well, Eddie is too involved in the bucktommy of it all for me to believe they don't have a long term plan (actually I stopped believing they don't have a plan with buddie and by consequence with queer Eddie a few days ago rewatching the hangar scene because there's so much going on on a meta level for buddie that I'm just like "nah, it's happening") so like, it's coming. I do agree this particular plotline works better with Buck than with Eddie, kinda wanna see if they really will take the "my catholic guilt forced me to ignore this part of me and now this part of me can't shut up because I'm in love with my best friend" route they could be going with the pieces of the puzzle we have. But I have faith, queer Eddie is coming. I can taste it lol

#911 #911 spoilers #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

[rgr-pop]

the edibles i take for sleep (last choice sleeping pill desperate times) have been going crazy on me out of nowhere - i feel like i am getting worse at math or they’re lying to me. you may know this about me but i really prefer the weed that everybody hates, scary weed, head weed. i’m really big on finding negative mental experiences to be fun and engaging (compared to normal situations or being alive). if you’re a pure of heart (crazy) you can hallucinate a little on weed whenever but really as you may have heard they’re trying to repress the schizophrenic weed culturally and most weed is oh i want to be relaxed but not paranoid and seeing things. like that’s okay for you i guess.. but anyway these allegedly sleep edible skittles have been going so crazy lately and i’m obsessed.

so what happened is last night - took edibles early because i knew i had to get up at 6 - at 10:30 i start feeling them just enough to decide i want dinner after all and i start some mac and cheese - belly full of dinner i’ll be so sleepy. well then all these cop cars descended onto my street. i’m sitting there eating mac and cheese watching this go down from the window - just cops walking around and approaching this house, in the dark, just the siren lights. and my edible hits and i’m just watching this for like an hour, getting more disoriented, hallucinating more cops in the shadows. i can just remember seeing the silhouette of this ominous cross in the window the whole time.. (i think it was the same house they did this for last summer when they had a DRONE peeking in my WINDOW, i dunno what’s going on with it, ongoing domestic situation i think.)

so i’m totally fucked up by this point. like, i can’t get my brain to tell my legs to move, basically nonverbal, whole thing. then one of my favorite mutuals sent me this dm asking me to help him PARSE A TWITTER INTERACTION he had. like yes i should have pretended to be asleep because i was not at all in control lol. but you have to understand i like him a lot and he’s kind of elusive so this dm felt like a wildly important friendship escalation. like the most important thing in the world at that moment. i HAD to try. but it was the most hilarious and impossible task for me in this state: read screenshotted exchange of tweets. interpret the tone and meaning of comments. put into sentences, using fingers to type… i did my best but i was like 😵‍💫 i failed you

i woke up and i was like “ok sorry about that. i think this guy is implying you’re autistic”

[fionajames]

hiya (((: if you feel like it can i request a bit of writing? kix and/or dogma centric preferably and including headaches? (my migraine/headaches have been coming back with full force lately lol) thank you so much ((((: (ps. if you'd like some writing in return i am more than happy to provide, just drop an ask)

Kix x Reader

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

FOR REQUESTING

Im sorry your feeling sick/bad, and i wish you a speedy recovery! hope you get better soon!

one comforting kix for you!

also, i realised half-way through writing that i wasnt sure if you wanted platonic or romantic, so i made it kind of both/can be read as either soft romantic or affectionate platonic.

as for something in return, more requests! im extremely thankful you've requested and i love doing requests so imma beg for more! more! more!

enjoy!

You groan as your hand shoots to rest on your forehead, fingertips digging into your scalp sharply in an attempt to divert your attention from your headache to a different pain. This headache had been coming and going for weeks, one day nonexistent and then next hitting you harder than a speeder on full throttle.

And Maker, they hurt.

“You really need to go to Kix,” Dogma repeated, glancing up at you from his datapad. You shot him a glare and all he did was shrug in response.

“Unhelpful,” you mutter playfully, standing up and moving to the door. Biting your lip you shuffle down the numerous hallways to the medcentre. As a Republic informant - you distaste the label of ‘spy’ as people always considered them untrustworthy and loyal, which you were neither - you worked with the 501st quite a bit, and had taken a liking to a certain medic. He often tended to your wounds - which was rather a lot. 

“Back again?” Kix called from his desk as you entered, smiling sheepishly. Nodding, you watched him stand and guide you to a bed gently, smiling fondly. “What happened this time?”

“Headache, might be a migraine,” you explained as he nodded, gathering equipment. Kix ever-so-gently grasped your chin in his hand to study your neck, head and jaw. His gold eyes scanned your skin for a minute, moving your head to help him see. 

“No visual symptoms” he concluded, giving you a smile and a very soft kiss to the forehead. “Alright, can you read this?” Kix asked, holding his datapad a metre away from you. You read out the contents quickly, before he moved further back and switched to a new page. Frowning, you shook your head. “Bad sight.”

“Really, doc?” You chuckled as he nodded, sending you a playful smirk. 

“Yep!” Kix replied, then suddenly he tossed a scrunched up piece of flimsi at your head. You flinched as it hit you in the forehead, body unwilling to recognise it. “And bad reflexes.”

“Is that really a migraine symptom?”

“A hundred percent, Cyar’ika.” You rolled your eyes as he fiddled with his equipment more, and typed something into the datapad. “Alright, we’re gonna do an MRI scan.” Reluctantly, you did as told and let him do the scan, and then he checked your blood pressure. 

“So?” You asked, rolling your eyes as Kix continued to mess with the scan, still not offering a response.

“Yes, Cyar’ika, you’ve got a migraine,” he responded patiently, wheeling his chair over to the bed. Kix offered you a small container of pills and explained when you should be taking them as you took two, only half-listening. He’d remind you later anyway. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” You mumble, turning to him and up from your cup of water. Kix offered a soft, loving smile and reached forward, running a hand through your hair fondly and massaging your scalp.

“Is that helping?” He whispered when you crawled closer and closed your eyes, a content smile playing on your lips. 

“Yeah,” was your whispered response, and he chuckled. Kix clambered onto the bed beside you and you turned to rest your chin on his shoulder, his hands still playing with your eye. As the soothing action continued, the lulling coo of sleep grew louder.

“Go to sleep, Cyar’ika,” he murmured lovingly as the warm blanket of darkness was draped over you, his presence becoming the softest guide into deep sleep.

i hope you enjoyed!

get better soon!

(:

#star wars #clone wars #clone troopers #the clone wars #501st legion #tcw #clones #request #kix #medic #headaches #migraine #ka’ra writes ❤️