#I forget socializing is a thing I should do

[drdemonprince]

this will sound like one of those "let men be masculine" level niche internet community brained posts, but i honestly really was embarrassed of how much i like drag for a while. in the circles that i run in, liking drag too much is seen as pretty cringey and for wealthy cis gays. like everybody knows a few cool avante garde local performers that they fuck with who run queer dance parties that are inclusive and the like, but very few people that i know will just go to a drag show at an entertainment or social engagement for their own sake. it's almost seen as a tourist thing, a normie gay thing.

but its one of the few spaces where i can actually recognize a lot of feminine men and nonbinary man-thing-girly-freaks like of the particular type that i am. leather bars are so masc and buff and im often invisible. bear bars are really nice and i do feel welcome there! but people are only feminine in their mannerisms, not presentation very often. the more explicitly gender inclusive trans/queer spaces cater to more of a wlw and adjacent crowd whose relationships to masculinity and femininity are different from mine. circuit gay bars are obviously terrible.

drag is nice. there's guys with weird little haircuts and long earrings who aren't buff and are swishy and dress interestingly but are a little uncomfortable as their regular selves and have to don alternate personas in order to be outgoing. and i even like that it's okay to be bitchy and insulting sometimes in drag world, like sometimes that is just your genuine feedback on the work someone has done and it's not the end of the world. there's lot of open conflict in the drag world that actually works out pretty alright.

it's a local nightlife scene like all the rest, its got its theater kid bullshit and egos and superficiality out the ass and so many people are trying to be famous or make money, but even to this day i forget that i can just be a really weird feminine guy until i'm around some of them and watching them prance about. i worry about how i look or am being read and then even just watching a fucking drag race episode i'll see like 9 different guys who are so fucking androgynous with their weird assymetrical self cut haircuts that they pass less than i do and they're cis men. they have bodies or faces like i do. and in the local scene it's obviously even better because you're looking at real life people. maybe i should be over it by now but im not, i need to see weird little awkward feminine guys with funny outfits playing dress up and crying and fighting with one another because they never got over their last picked in gym class baggage. its meeee i relateee. i even like that its a little toxic! we've got some issues out here, let's joke with them and make a character of them instead of pretending to be nice!!

i tend to be pretty skeptical of "representation matters!" type shit but part of that is probably because i never really feel represented. i know, boo hoo, thin white man doesnt feel depicted on screen, sounds very silly. but then i see kade gottmik on drag race and i swell with emotion and suddenly feel like who i am is POSSIBLE in this world and i realize that even with all my privileges i am starved for representation and that it does benefit you to have it. theres trans guys on screen but thats not close enough to ping that ooh!!! ahh!!! i can love myself!! radar for me. it has to be a very particular kinda person. matt bernstein makes me feel similarly

[bbbuckaroo]

Do you feeling the network, actors or crew members should speak up about the hate between the two ships?

More specifically like Ryan and Oliver? Since they are constantly posting about the Eddie ship. How Oliver only mention the buck/tommy relationship in interviews but never posts about them unlike how he posted Eddie content at least once a week.

The cast and crew are constantly tagged in things so at this point they kinda should have an idea about what is going on.

I personally don’t think they should have to speak up about it, maybe that’s an unpopular opinion but I honestly think they already do so much working their asses off to give us this show. I don’t think they have any obligation to diffuse this kind of drama because it’s just that - drama. I’m not saying what we’re saying isn’t important but at the end of the day, what matters most is them being able to do the job they love and do it well enough to keep it on the air.

I’ve mentioned it before but I don’t think Oliver is doing it to necessarily incite a fandom war. I think he knows how important and pivotal the Buddie FRIENDSHIP is but at the end of the day, he doesn’t want to alienate any fans regardless of their views. I think being on a show like this for so long and having said show be his/their main focus they want to make sure it continues to be the success it is.

Is this queer baiting? I’m personally not queer but I think it’s Oliver promoting a friendship that has been consistent and very accepted throughout the previous seasons. It’s been a successful plot point BUT any of his romantic relationships haven’t been. So he’s not going to be putting all of his effort into any relationship that may not last. I think we all anticipate it will BUT who knows if they’ve even written season eight so who the hell knows what will happen? So as much as he and Lou may want it to, it’s never guaranteed.

Now if we look at Tarlos and how much Ronen and Rafa have done PR for that, that has always been marketed as endgame. I mean when they (SPOILER ALERT) broke up we all knew they were getting back together. Breathe breathe breathe. I think Oliver and Lou could both promote their relationship that way if it lasts at least a season or two.

I definitely believe that at least some of the cast/crew know what’s going on here and other social media accounts. But it could honestly be career suicide to align themselves with one side or the other at this point. I think they are definitely influenced by it to the point of a comfort level promoting things. I may be talking out my ass but I definitely think the overwhelmingly positive comments on the award show reel had something to do with Lou reposting it. Obviously he’s going to promote himself but he had to see the comments and see the positivity vs. it getting taken over by those who shall not be named.

I’m sure the cast have their own opinions and desires and, call me crazy, I think we can mostly tell what they are or have some idea. They can hint and nudge but they really can’t say one way or the other or condemn one side. It sucks but it’s show business and it’s their livelihood which I think is overlooked sometimes. Ryan and Oliver honestly do have the right idea keeping their posts neutral and unbiased. Their friendship is awesome, a true show of healthy male companionship where they can be themselves and not hide their emotions.

Hit you know, god forbid that be a thing without it being a romance. The world needs to see more healthy male friendships and automatically making it romantic (and very sexual) does a disservice to it. But you didn’t hear me from me.

I’m a few margaritas deep, I need to behave myself. Thank you for the ask, I feel like all I do is ramble so I apologize. In closing, I don’t think they owe anyone a statement/choosing a side. We forget this is their JOB and their livelihood. And if we want to keep seeing their beautiful faces online, we need to understand that even though they may feel one way and essentially hint to the point of almost saying it, they have to stay neutral to keep the show going. Most we can do is support them and tell them what we love (not what we hate).

Thank you for the ask, sorry for the book. I think I need to start using bullet points. Y’all are awesome though, I love this discussion. It’s been so positive (thus far). And if it’s not you’re not gonna see it because that shit ain’t worth my time or anyone else’s. Rock on BuckTommy nation.

✌🏻❤️👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

#911 abc #911 show #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #lou ferrigno jr #oliver stark #tim minear #i know you’re here tim #you sly devil #positivity and praise #actors are people too #rent’s a bitch #especially in LA

[clfixationstation]

idk if this is a hot take but I don't think Armin is friendly. I think people find him generally off-putting. Like, people think he looks sweet, but also find him strange; for the topics that interest him, the way he didn't stray far from Eren (& Mikasa) socially, and his general demeanor.

I think that as Armin established himself more as he grew up, he developed better interpersonal skills that compliment his rhetorical prowess. I think he's the type of person who sees value in life and in minimizing harm. He offers kindness to his friends and understanding to all. But I don't see him as particularly "friendly"

#cl thoughts #this is just my perception of the character #and everyone is allowed their own interpretation! #all of ema are off-putting idc #I'm also of course projecting a little #I forget socializing is a thing I should do #simply does not occur #so while I have similar values and way of operating to Armin I'm not received as friendly #also y'know how ppl are often revolted when neurodivergent ppl get super enthusiastic about something? #that's the reaction I see many having toward armin #though others (like eren) will find it inspiring #armin arlert #aot #snk #armin analysis #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #uhhh i'll tag ships too #eremin #aruani #they'll have opinions I'm sure

[wakeupthemembersofbylernation]

It’s wild how so many people are fundamentally incapable of recognizing queer characters unless they explicitly say the words, “I’m gay” on screen

#like season 1 and 2? sure maybe you can overlook Will’s queercoding and believe it’s just a result of the bully’s homophobia #season 3 is a huge stretch but it’s hypothetically possible to believe will is just a late-bloomer or asexual #but how on earth do you watch season 4 and still genuinely have no idea will is gay? #and this is not a rare occurrence #it’s astonishing how many people you have to literally explain the van scene to cause Will’s sexuality never crossed their mind #you didn’t see him staring longingly at his best friend the entire season? #some people’s minds are so aggressively heteronormative that they assumed will had a crush on el #and even after noah has explained that will is gay 50 million times #people still are confused and think it came out of nowhere or they quickly forget #somewhere there’s a fan who doesn’t keep up with stranger things news and doesn’t really use social media #a fan who is the exact opposite of chronically online #who hasn’t heard about NOAH coming out let alone Will’s sexuality #who will walk into season 5 and be utterly flabbergasted when Will comes out as gay (let alone when Byler happens) #and they’ll say that Will being gay is a huge plot twist they never saw coming #and they’ll be 100% sincere #and that’s truly baffling to me #do people think shows just randomly include melodramatic rain fights where ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ is said for no reason? #do people think the show went out of its way to show wills rejecting the attractive girl in his class cause they were in a silly goofy mood? #I genuinely wanna know what goes on through people’s heads when they have no gaydar or media literacy #even today there are people who still think romantic stobin should happen and think that Robin isn’t really a lesbian #will byers #byler

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

The stigma around taking medication is weird as a person who takes medications cause you'll have someone who knows you take meds tell you why they don't want to take any and it's deeply rooted in ableism and also makes you wonder... do they think these things about me because I take medication?

It's just like when someone explains to you, a glasses wearer, why they don't want to wear glasses. It's always offensive and comes from their self-pride and vanity issues

#it's the whole prideful attitude of ''well /I/ don't need medication'' with the subtext that you're worse than they are #''I don't want glasses cause they'll make me look ugly'' has been said to me a lifelong glasses wearer too many times #followed by ''I don't think YOU'RE ugly with glasses though'' with the implication that they're better looking than you because #they couldn't POSSIBLY afford to sacrifice their looks by having glasses #oh and let's not forget the ''why don't you wear contacts?'' question which again. implies you look uglier with glasses #em rambles #ableism #and we wonder why we as a society have imposter syndrome when we actually do get diagnosed or develop conditions because #you only NEED medication/glasses/mobility aids/stim toys/etc. when you reach a certain unidentifiable degree of the condition #when in reality it's as simple as: would this tool make my life easier? #and if the answer is yes than you should take advantage of it. why is grinning and bearing every fucking thing you struggle with the #socially acceptable thing to do #why are we EXPECTED to suffer and seen as weaker if we make our lives easier #*then

[robertdowneyjjr]

you know the thing that’s actually really great about polls on tumblr is that it’s bringing back a lot of the engagement that has been missing in the last few years. people are reblogging these posts, sharing the content they’re interested in and adding their commentary in the tags. there’s not as huge of a discrepancy between the number of reblogs and likes. idk about the rest of you but i’ve seen a lot more of this since polls were introduced compared to even a month ago and i hope this continues even on posts that aren’t polls.

#it’s wild because like 8 or 9 years ago the number of reblogs on a post would often surpass likes #then the rise of the algorithm in social media apps started bleeding into tumblr and all people would ever do is like a post #but that’s not how tumblr works and it’s like screaming into a void when you tell people otherwise #never forget how people straight up would be offended when you tell them they should be reblogging posts #but now we’re going back to how tumblr is meant to be used with reblogs and comments in tags and i’m really happy about it #sometimes i think things and post them #tumblr #polls

[meme-loving-stuck]

genuine question i know its normal to not remember your exact verbatim responses to things, but is it common to genuinely not fucking remember most of what you say to people in your day-to-day?

like to not remember if you were being serious or sarcastic or funny and what you even said? just a few hours ago?? how many people get that

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #im not trying to like remember details for an argument i just thought about one thing and then #like #i realized i couldnt remember. like i am definitely extremely stressed in social situations and putting on a 'façade' i guess #but doesnt everyone do that? like i have literally always done so #and its never caused me to like. forget which 'me' i was and what 'that me' was saying through the day #which is whats happening a lot now #i always try to be a bit mindful of what i say i just ?????? most days i cant remember at all #i have to constantly write things down #but again thats normal... stuff like tasks or times to do things #i feel like now i should make note of 'HOW AND WHAT I SAID TO [PERSON NAME] WHEN INTERACTING ON THIS DAY' for everyone

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data #which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done #for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior #so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip. #also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a #collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things. #and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more #devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close #bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the #country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will #instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a #different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad #a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi #intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see #them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize #the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b #doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped #that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying #less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating #unrelated

[guntapon]

someone PLEASE give me the strength and courage to continue working on this video

#i was doing SO WELL at first #i was so excited when the idea for it sprung into my head that i nearly hurt myself when i exited the shower and ran over to turn on my pc #(don't worry- i got dressed somewhere between point a & point b) #but i've since hit a roadblock - bc of course i did - and it's hurting my brain #i really wanted to finish it before ep 8 bc i'm only using eps 1-7 for it #but i just realized that tomorrow is already thursday and i am not even halfway done yet :) so :) seems like that was a pipe dream #i'm really worried that i won't finish it at ALL because i'm highly likely to get discouraged for myriad reasons #and i haven't actually made a fanvid in like? 2 years?? #i also have so many other msp-related ideas #like gifset ideas and another video idea and a writing idea (the most miraculous of all) #and i'm almost overwhelmed by how suddenly and effectively msp has broken through all of my creative blocks #like i feel so free but i also feel like that sabrina pancake meme #oh god i'm going to forget like half of these ideas aren't i #i should write them down.... that's probably advisable.... #OR. or. i should stop procrastinating by rambling on social media and actually get back to finishing this silly little thing #talking to myself*

[toastsnaffler]

parkour was fun btw even if my hands are ripped to shreds now..... also one of the community leaders (who I admittedly have a baby crush on.... any pronoun dykes unite!!!!!) said he'd get me a free pair of lesbian flag laces for my trainers by the next jam <3 😭😭

#it was only 4 of us this time.... theyre planning the next sesh for the weekend tho so hopefully more ppl can join #i need to dig some vegan baking recipes back up cuz I keep forgetting how many of them dont/cant eat dairy #and i like baking things to take w me hehehe #at least it means i have a lot of brownies leftover so i can take them to the climbing social on thurs >:) #pray for my muscles to recover by then.... today was abt explosive movements so it was INTENSE #I keep forgetting that im a bit of an extrovert like I always feel SOOO energised and upbeat after hanging out w them #who knew isolating myself and barely leaving the house or talking to anyone would make my depression Worse. #I hope I can like. keep reminding myself of that and keep pushing myself to go to social things like this bc I do rly rly need it #and itll become even more crucial over the next few months with the seasonal shit kicking in too..... #I love calling w friends online too but im a very physical person I need to interact irl w a lot of ppl regularly to stay sane yknow #anyway water tank should be hot by now im gonna go shower and then watch smth peace out ✌️ #.diaries

[deus-ex-mona]

the sheer ridiculousness of yujiro’s vampire costume is ✨finally✨ hitting me

like… boi??? literally no one will be able to see the kissmark with your collar in the way?? you just wanted to be kissed, didn’t you?👁

#tune in tomorrow for more hopeless ramblings that no one asked for lmaoo— #also the next chapter of mona’s event will be up a couple of hours later bc i got distracted with p5r lol #jp voiced p5r characters my ✨beloved✨ #iv as joker… kumamaru as yusuke… sena as kasumi (my beloved)… and i think miou as the two wardens? #oh and nacchan as haru. can’t forget her. stacced cast is ✨staccced✨ #i swear i’d commission sooo many people to draw sena as kasumi if i had the social skills… and iv as joker too maybe? #but since i don’t i’ll just have to… learn how to draw ig? stickmen crossover art go!!!!!!!! #but man… the controls are soooo different from p3p and p4g… i’m gonna need some time to get used to the dungeon crawling parts lol #p3p and p4g (and tms while we’re at it): slash enemies to fight ‘em. p5r (in the casino thing): j u m p a n d h i d e t o o ! ! ! #idek why i’m even talking so much about this lol. i just got the saving diary thing. but hey i watched the anime— #aaa maaaan. now i dunno if i should tl stuff，continue p5r，or idk read the enstars main story.. #too many things to do，too little time!!!!! #just honeypre things #inedible blubbering

[kingzephy]

Hey !! 💜 The name’s Ace. I’m incredibly queer. I’m into all sorts of shit! I play a LOT of video games. I watch a lotta anime and read a lotta manga. I draw occasionally. i love animals! I love horror. I collect cool stuff like rocks and bones and knives etc

18+ please! 🔞 Most of my posts are at least mildly nsfw. I talk about mens tits like. a lot

🌺 ✦ 🌿 ✦ 🩸 ✦ ✨

Feel free to message me!! I love making friends and talking about my interests. If we’re mutuals feel free to ask for my discord!

🏳️‍🌈✨🏳️‍⚧️✨🏳️‍🌈

carrd/DNI ✦ art by @fayren

#i tend to ramble in the tags a lot #realized ive gotten some new followers recently so i should introduce myself #chances are if were mutuals I probably wanna say hi but my social anxiety is stopping me #if you do message me and i dont respond i apologize in advance. i can be kinda forgetful and i get easily distracted #also i use terms like dude and bro etc if you’re uncomfortable with being called things like that just lemme know! #also. ​i usually dont tag trigger stuff so if you need me to tag something just let me know

[aesrot]

mmm self sabotage

#I REALLY should stop spending this much time online #it's *gasp* actually doing horrible things for my mental health #and I've been triggering my social anxiety multiple times a day #im not well lol #it doesn't help that I keep forgetting to text my therapist #aaand that I don't have money for our sessions anymore #lua vents

[carltonlassie]

Why is it always where do you work or what school do you attend and not what kind of unrelenting horrors have you been dealing with lately or what kind of tragedies have you been lamenting these days

#i went to this Halloween party and it was just. i felt bad just doing this🧍 the entire night and not socializing #but really. i was masked and it was loud and people gave up when they couldn't hear me or get my name the first try lmao #and by this point I'm tired of pronouncing my name for everyone who can't deal with a pocs name #and I'm not willing to take off my mask bc who da hell even are u guys #so i was just 🧍 but somehow won the costume contest even tho ppl were whispering to each other about what our costume was supposed to be #idk maybe y'all should ask instead of whispering where i can hear you clearly 😭 #and it was weird bc my partner clearly did not want to hang out with these people either but just. brought me there and I'm just like why #what's the point. saving face? bleughhh idk I'm just grumpy bc i didn't get to have dinner to go to this thing #and the only meal option they had was like. food that doesn't agree with my stomach and also I ain't taking my mask off around these guys #it was not an enjoyable experience I've been to worse college parties #but the difference is I'm older and I'm not gonna get peer pressured into staying somewhere in not comfortable yk #idk the ppl there were nice but I'm just?? hi who the hell are you and you still don't know my name and I'm not repeating it #when ur just gonna forget #< u gotta make effort to let ppl know u #but have u considered. I'm tired of ppl knowing me #why do u wanna know #if ur just gonna know me superficially I'd much rather be unknown #going back to my original question of why is it always where do you work and what do you do #bc where i work is the last thing i wanna talk about on a Saturday night #oops emotionally slutty hours

[sysig]

Good luck with that one, Charm (Patreon)

#Doodles #Villainsona #Just Desserts #Charm was secretly Papyrus this whole time lol #She's just like .5% more self-aware #Nah she knows that wouldn't work but it doesn't stop it from being a fun fantasy lol #Kaiein in the BG like ''I agree!'' and that's how you know it's a bad idea #That is kind of part of her fall to villainy even in JD Classic - she's constantly stressed out by appearance and others' opinions #If only there weren't an equilibrium! If only she trusted people when they said nice things!! #Only the most-ingredient'd cocktail of imposter syndrome and social anxiety and all the rest for Charm haha #It is fun to draw her carving candles I should do that more often #And sparkly rocks! I always forget that she has a hobby of polishing sugar gemstones #Spider Bites would have a completely difference answer lol #Ooh I just realized I've never drawn Spider Bites interacting with Kaiein - that would go poorly for him I think ✨ #That sounds fun

[clericlost]

finally online and thinking about how little will does in every instance we see jane being bullied.     he’s no stranger to how shitty it feels to be singled out like that,  to be berated and belittled,  and yet all he does is stand there and watch,  then try to help pick up the pieces only after it’s over.     i know the suffer brothers have forgotten lonnie byers exists at this point but i unfortunately have not,  and in cases of bullies both at school and at home most of his life,  will never learned how to fight back.     indignance is a fruitless endeavor,  inconsequential to a man like lonnie,  to kids grappling with adult hierarchies on the playground,  to mind flayers prying their way in your head.     anger is even scarier,  something that always made his mom upset and his brother shut down like a machine powered off when it spewed from his dad.

he tries to learn fight instead of flight for the first time ever at 13 years old,  and it just so happens to be in the face of an otherworldly monster.     it’s an atrophied muscle since tantrums as a toddler were answered with intoxicated tantrums of the man of the house,  and it’s never properly gotten the chance to build its strength up,  or even believe it can.     will knows this.     of course he does,  and it’s a contributing factor to his everpresent struggle in not feeling like a burden,  a hassle to have around in his loved ones’ lives,  so he tries to compensate with comfort,  but by nature,  it never feels like enough.     not when the thing about comfort is that it happens after the hurt,  never before,  never prevents it.     standing by when he knows exactly what kind of hurt jane’s feeling,  and doing nothing,  feels like a betrayal.     if he intervened,  it’s not like it would stop it from happening again,  but even trying and failing would be better than nothing.     considering all the times jane has saved his life and his family and friends’ before she even met him,  it is quite literally the least he could do.

but it’s a trauma response,  to freeze.     one built from the crib to the upsidedown,  to lock up or run away.     he’s gotten better at the latter,  but the progress is hard to feel when faced with jane’s misery by himself,  without even the party that always helped him cope with his own bullies at his back.

#study. . .⠀meta #st4 spoilers #i guess it's more of a headcanon but no it's not i just remember lonnie existed<3 #even just as the audience seeing jane get bullied feels like shit and then the shots switch to will always just watching and somehow #i feel impossibly worse :) #god they were supposed to have a fresh start :( #i do think at least will got so caught up with just trying to survive all this upsidedown bullshit it was kind of? easy to forget? #the mundane aspects of life that can still make it fucking terrible #and like. they've faced Actual Monsters!! it should be easy to face bullies!!!! #but it isn't. it would take practice that will has Never had outside of trying it out on an interdimensional monster that one time #which didn't work btw<3 it just made it worse to try like that and have your agency so thoroughly ignored #ok enough tags i need to stop...... i have so many thoughts on will's passive coping mechanisms #the only time we really see him Mad at like anybody is mike #and it's this big ugly thing ripping him up and his response is to run and hide and feel so STUPID about how upset he was #the few times he's stood up for himself he always finds a reason to not try it again #OK i'm done for real i have drafts that i'm !!!! about #if i'm dead in the ims it's bc my social meter feels stiff as a corpse today i am apologizing in advance