#I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines!

[yesmissnyx]

An Unsexy Post About Censorship

Sooo...gumroad is shutting down NSFW content sales because of Stripe and Paypal. This is also why Wishtender has been down as well, if you weren't aware. And why Patreon is also cracking down on anything remotely kinky.

(If you're wondering why your favorite FICTIONAL sexual content isn't allowed on most platforms, it's payment processors.)

Please be extra kind to anyone who works with NSFW content right now, whether it be art, writing, audio, photos or video. Whether it be tasteful erotica, or the kinkiest BDSM porn you can think of, we're all in the crosshairs right now.

And, judging by trends from these past few years, this is only going to get worse.

Support NSFW creators where you can, whether by tipping or buying our content (where you still can) or just helping boost content on sites where algorithms want to drown us out.

Call representatives where you can and complain about payment processors acting as arbiters of what YOU are and aren't allowed to pay for and enjoy.

This may be about porn right now, but censorship of this caliber doesn't just stop with porn. Any transgressive (read: non-conservative) media is fair game.

Fight against it where you can. Support creators where you can.

Art is important. Reflections of our sexuality are important. We don't want a world where people aren't free to make or see the things they love and enjoy.

#nyxrambles #Warning: I'm going to get kind of grim in the tags so peace out of you have to. #This bums me out so fucking hard! #I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines! #I'm going to have to take my stuff off of Gumroad even though it was previously allowed! #It's hard to not feel like everything is just spiraling toward fascism sometimes yanno? #I am usually opposed to slippery slope arguments but the goal of moral conservativism is to destroy everything that isn't in line with it. #They will not stop until the world reflects their narrow ideals. Like...that's the whole point of it! #Sorry guys I'm just having a rough one. #Between this and being sick for months I'm getting pretty fucking Done. #I'll be okay but I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard and scary.

[la5t-res0rt]

this was written several weeks ago in response to asks i was receiving i am posting it now it is very long the longest i have ever made and it is not very well edited but here it is in this final essay i talk about how shitty rae is about black people in her writing as well as just me talking about how her writing sucks in general lets begin

hello everyone 

as you may know i have received a lot of anons in the last week or so about issues of racism in the beetlejuice community both just generally speaking and also within specific spaces 

i was very frustrated to not be getting the answers i wanted because i typically do not talk about what i do not see but in an effort to be better about discourse i went looking through discourse from before my time in the fandom and i also received some receipts and information from my followers and from some friends

keep in mind that the voices and thoughts of bipoc are not only incredibly important at all times but in this circumstance it is important that if a bipoc has something to add you listen and learn and be better

i admit that when this happened i wasnt aware of the extent of what occurred and im angry at myself for not doing more at that time and i want to work harder to make sure something like this doesnt go unnoticed again

im a hesitant to talk about months old discourse because i have been criticized for bringing up quote old new unquote but this is very important and i am willing to face whatever comes from to me

lets talk about this

content from our local racist idiot that may be months old but its important

putting my thoughts under a cut to spare the dash but before i begin obviously this is awful

lets fucking unpack this folks

right out the gate op states that she supports artistic freedom but then within a couple words she goes against that statement

being entirely canon compliant isnt artistic freedom and even so if this person has so much respect for canon they wouldnt be out here erasing lydias obvious disgust for beetlejuice in the movie or ignoring lydias age for the sake of shipping that shit isnt canon either 

also we love the quick jab at the musical there hilarious we love it dont we because god forbid a licensed and successful branch on a media have any standing in this conversation but whatever

now lets scroll down and talk about the term racebending

the term racebending was coined around 2009 in response to the avatar the last airbender movie a film in which the east asian races of the characters were erased by casting white actors in the three leading roles of aang sokka and katara 

whenever the term racebending is used in a negative light it is almost always a case of whitewashing like casting scarlett johansen in ghost in the shell or the casting of white actors of the prince of persia sands of time instead of iranian ones

this kind of racebending erases minorities from beeing seen in media and is wrong

all that being said however racebending has also been noted to have very positive after effects like the 1997 adaptation of cinderella or casting samuel jackson as nick fury in the marvel movies nick fury was originally a white guy can you even imagine

i read this piece from an academic that said quote writers can change the race and cultural specificity of central characters or pull a secondary character of color from the margins transforming them into the central protagonist unquote

racebending like the kind that rae is so heated about is the kind of creative freedom that leads to more representation of bipoc in media which will never be a bad thing ever no matter how pissy you get about it

designing a version of a character as a poc isnt serving to make them necessarily better it serves to give new perspective and perhaps the opportunity to connect even more deeply with a character it doesnt marginalize or erase white people it can uplift poc and if you think uplifting poc is wrong because it tears down white people or whatever youre a fucking moron and you need to get out of your podunk white folk town and see the real world

the numbers of times a bipoc particularly a bipoc that is also lgbt+ has been represented in media are dwarfed by what i as a white dude have seen myself represented in media is and that isnt okay that isnt equality and its something that should change not only in mainstream media but in fandom spaces as well

lets move down a bit further to the part about bullying straight people which is hilarious and lets also talk about the term fetishistic as well lets start with that

this person literally writes explicit pornography of a minor and an adult are we really going to let someone like that dictate what is and what isnt fetishistic

similarly to doing a positive racebend situation people may project lgbt+ headcanons on a character because its part of who they are and it helps them feel closer to the character and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

depicting lgbt+ subject matter on existing characters isnt an inherently fetishistic action generally things only really become fetishistic when the media is being crafted and hyped by people who are outside of lgbt+ community for example how young teens used to flip a tit about yaoi or how chasers fetishize trans people

but drawing a character with top surgery scars or headcanoning them as trans is harmless and its just another way to interpret a character literally anone could be trans unless if their character bio says theyre cis and most of them dont go that deep so it really is open to interpretation and on the whole most creators encourage this sort of exploration because it is a good thing to get healthy representation out in the world

as for it being used to bully straights thats just funny i dont have anything else on that like if youre straight and you feel threatened and bullied because of someone headcanoning someone as anything that isnt cishet youre a fucking idiot and a weak baby idiot at that like the real world must fucking suck for you because lgbt+ people are everywhere and statistically a big chunk of your favorite characters arent cishet sorry be mad about it

lets roll down a bit further about the big meat of the issue which was when several artists were drawing interpretations of lydia as a black girl which i loved but clearly this person didnt love it because they have a very narrow and very racist and problematic view of what it means to be a black person

and before i move forward i must reiderate that i am a white person and you should listen to the thoughts of poc people like @fright-of-their-lives​ or @gender-chaotic it is not my place to explain what the black experience is like and it certainly isnt this persons either

implying that the story of a black person isnt worth telling unless if the character faces struggles like racism and prejudice is downright moronic 

why use the word kissable to describe a black persons lips now thats what i call fetishistic and its to another extreme if youre talking about a black version of lydia on top of that

the author of this post says herself that shes white so clearly shes the person whos an authority on the black experience and what it means to be a black person right am i reading that right or am i having a fucking conniption

how about allowing black characters to exist without having to struggle why cant a black version of lydia just be a goth teenager with a ghost problem who likes photography and is also black like she doesnt have to move to a hick town and get abused by racist folks she doesnt have to go through any more shit than she already goes through and if you honestly think thats the only way to tell a black persons story you need to get your brain cleaned

you know nothing about the complexities about being a black person and i dont either but you know wh odo black people who are doing black versions of canon characters they fucking know 

lets squiggle down just a bit further 

so the writer has issues with giving characters traits like a broad nose or larger lips if theyre a woman but if theyre a man suddenly its totally okay to go all ryan murphy ahs coven papa legba appropriation when approaching character design like are you fucking stupid do you hear yourself is that really how you see black men like what the fuck is wrong with you

none of the shit youre spewing takes bravery it takes ignorance and supreme levels of stupidity

do you really think you with your fic where a black lgbt+ woman is tortured and abused where you use the n word with a hard r to refer to her like that shits not okay its fucking depraved and yeah we know you love being shitty but like christ on a bike thats so much 

can we also talk about this

what the fuck is this fetishistic bull roar garbage calling this black character beyonce dressing her up in quote fuck me heels unquote are you are you seriously gonna write this and say its a shining example of how to write a black character youre basically saying ope here she is shes a sex icon haha im so progressive and i clealry understand the black experience hahahaha fuck you oh my god

on top of that theres a point where this character is only referred to as curly hair or the fact that the n word is used in the fic with the hard r like thats hands down not okay for you to use especially not in a manner like this jesus christ

oop heres a little more a sampling for you of the hell i am enduring in reading this drivel

oh boy lets put a leash on the angry black woman character lets put her in a leash and have the man imply hes a master like are you kidding me are you for real and what the fuck is with calling her shit like j lo and beyonce do you actually think thats clever at all are you just thinking of any poc that comes into your head for this 

also lydia fucking tells this girl that she shouldnt have lost her temper like she got fucking leashed im so tired why is this writing so problematic and also so bad

hold up before i lose my head lets look at some of her own comments on the matter of this character and what happens to her

hi hello youre just casually tossing the word lynch out there in the wide open world as if thats not a problem that is still real like are you fucking unhinged there have been multiple cases of this exact thing happening in our firepit of a country in the last five months alone like how can you still have shit like this up for people to read how can you be proud of work like this in this climate

and also what the fuck is that last bit 

what the actual fuck

i dont speak for black people as a white person but you do!? im sorry i had to get my punctuation out for that because wow thats fucking asinine just because one black person read your fic and didnt find the torture and abuse of your one black character abhorrant doesnt mean that the vast majority of people not only in the fandom but in the human population with decency are going to think its okay because its not 

i started this post hoping to be level headed and professional but jesus fucking christ this woman is something else white nationalism is alive and well folks and its name is rae

if you defend this woman you defend some truly abhorrant raecism

editors notes 

in order to get some perspective on these issues more fully some of the writing by the author was examined and on the whole it was pretty unreadable but i want to just call back to the very beginning of this essay where the person in question talked about holding canon in high regard but then in their writing they just go around giving people magic and shit and ignoring the end of the movie entirely like are you canon compliant or nah 

the writing doesnt even read like beetlejuice fanfic it reads as self indulgent fiction you could easily change the names and its just a bad fanfic from 2007

also can we talk about writing the lesbian character as an angry man hater like its 2020 dude and als olets touch on that girl on girl pandering while beetlejuice is just there like here we go fetishizing again wee

i cant find a way to work this into this already massive post but

im going to throw up

okay so thats a lot we have covered a lot today and im sure my ask box will regret it but this definitely should have been more picked apart when it happened

please feel free to add more to this i would love more perspectives than just my own.

#long post #racism #raecism #im so tired #thanks for reading

[vole-mon-amour]

OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie).  That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher​ & @aledbr​

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.

#otp #me #tumblr #harry x sirius #delena #corvosider #rhack #tony x peter #batjokes #jensard #steve x bucky #ready or not #drakecest

[cannedapricot]

spring.

a soft art student! au with pure boy renjun ft a y/n who keeps denying her feelings! i recommend listening to a couple of bolbbalgan4′s songs while reading! their songs make me soft siuvsesuvao

word count: 4.2k filled to the brim with fluff and slice of life because i can’t write anything else yikes

Spring.

The season of blue skies, cherry blossom showers and blooming flowers.

The season of red faces, sweaty palms and shy “I love you"s.

Spring was the season of affection blooming in your chest, struggling to keep itself hidden

Spring was the season of romance.

You wished you could relate to the crowds of girls that started whispering crazily whenever a certain boy walked past. 

Or to your table mate, who keeps staring at the back of Lee Jeno’s head with lovestruck eyes.

But alas, as much as you wanted to fall in love, you couldn’t force your heart to beat faster for someone.

You were pulled out of your daze when a stray cherry blossom petal found it’s way into the warm, lazy classroom. Riding the spring wind for a small while before settling itself onto your long forgotten textbook. The moment it landed, the sharp familiar noise of the recess bell rang throughout the school and suddenly chairs scraping across the tiled floor cut through the sleepy silence.

Girls bunched up into groups, starting to gossip about who’s dating who and boys started to race towards the cafeteria. You blow the pink petal off of your history textbook, then proceed to attempt to stuff it into your already crowded desk.

"Yo Y/N, here’s the banana milk I owe you from the other day.” You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. 

“Great, Donghyuck, it’s only been a week and a half since I gave you the answers to Mr Lee’s homework.” 

The boy grinned sheepishly to your remark as you successfully squeeze the thick book into the small space.

“Look, in my defense, I was busy.” He replied, plopping himself on top of your creaky desk.

“With what? Finding a date to the spring festival?”

Ah, the spring festival. It was the festival all art students looked forward to the most. It was a festival for all the students talented in art to proudly show off their work. Artists would set up little areas where they would happily talk of their pieces to anyone interested. Musicians would be busking, whether it be with their friends or by themselves and dancers would be dancing to their heart’s content with a crowd of people cheering them on. All of this would happen under the beautiful shower of the school’s multiple cherry blossom trees. 

The main event everyone would attend though, was the musical that would play on the outside stage during the afternoon. Mr Kim Dongyoung, the teacher in charge of the musical, was notorious for being picky with the students he would let on stage and it was considered a honor if you were picked to be take part in the musical. 

You didn’t need a date per say, but rumor has it that if you and your special someone share a sweet kiss under the oldest cherry blossom tree, you’d be happy together forever.

You thought that it was a bunch of baloney.

Forever Together? How cheesy. You’d rather it that you and your significant other stuck together due to affection for each other, not due to some old tree. It shocked you to learn how many people believe in that stupid rumor. 

Your friend, Lee Donghyuck, being one of those believers. 

But of course, he’s never admitted it to your face.

“No? Come on y/n, you know I don’t believe in that! Plus, I’m in the musical this year, I don’t have time for such childish things!”

Your eyebrows raised in doubt.

“Huh. Then I guess the person I saw trying to hit on one of our underclassmen this morning wasn’t you then?”

Donghyuck’s eyes broke contact and flew away from your own as he tried to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why he had attempted to get a girl’s number this morning. His eyes met with one of the many girls who was gossiping with her friends for a hot second. She then immediately ducked back to her friends and giggles were heard soon after.

Producing sandwiches out of your bag, you watched all of this with humor sparkling in your eyes, you had to bite the inside of your mouth to prevent yourself from bursting into obnoxious laughter. 

“You know Hyuck, you could always go with Mark if everything goes wrong.” You were hit with one of his famous ‘shut up or i’ll stab you with this pencil’ glares as soon as you said that. A string of giggles attempted to leave your mouth before one of the ham sandwiches you had packed was forcefully shoved onto your face.

“I hate you, y/n. Our friendship is officially over.”

“Great. Hey Jeno! You’re promoted to my best friend now! Hyuck doesn’t love me anymore.” You yelled across the room.

Jeno, who had just returned from the cafeteria with Jaemin at his side let out a hearty laugh.

“Thank god! I’ve been meaning to get rid of Jaemin for a while now!”

“Remember to finish your essay before the end of the week. Class dismissed.”

The usual high pitched noises of chairs being pushed back and chatter from your classmates started as soon as ‘class dismissed’ was heard. The sun was still high up in the sky but it had fallen from where it had been during noon and the temperature was slowing dropping along with it.

Pushing your own chair back, you lifted your arms up in a stretch before letting out a cat-like yawn. Falling back onto the hard, wooden desk, you waved lazily back at your table mate as she bid you goodbye for the day. Closing your eyes, you found yourself relaxing at the sound of cicadas calling to each other outside. The sunlight coming through the window dyed you and your desk a warm yellow. Suddenly, the urge to take a nap came over you.

“You remind me of a big, lazy cat sometimes.” 

Groaning, you moved you head so that you were facing your stupid friend. He was sitting in the chair in front of you, sucking on a lollipop as he met your eyes.

“Hyuck, don’t you have rehearsals today? You told me that you were going to have them everyday until the festival.”

Acting like he was offended, Donghyuck said, “I thought that my best friend would be lonely without me so I thought that I’d check up on you before going.”

You smiled into your arm. Donghyuck had a sharp tongue and you were used to him insulting you every second sentence without actually meaning it. But it always made your day whenever he openly shows that he cares. 

“I’m heading to the art room in a few, so no, I won’t be.” You said, the soft smile you had eariler being replaced with a teasing grin. 

“You’ve been going there since our first year! Aren’t you tired?” 

“Not at all.” Standing up, you swung your bag across your shoulder and ruffle Donghyuck’s golden locks before heading towards the classroom door.

Before stepping out, you said, “Also, I thought that we established that I’m now Jeno’s best friend?”

“Fine then, we don’t love Lee Donghyuk anymore then.” Your friend huffed out in annoyance to himself. 

“Just kidding! Love you, Hyuck!” You shouted with a smile before making your way to the art room.

As Donghyuck had stated, the art room has been the place you go to everyday after school. You loved drawing. People had asked you why you didn’t just join the art club instead of going to an empty classroom. Simple. You loved the quietness of the empty classroom. You loved getting caught up in your own thoughts without having anyone interrupt you. Most of all, you loved his company.

Just thinking about the boy put a bounce in your step.

The boy who started showing up to the same classroom a week after you had. The boy who would just sit there in silence while you both worked on your own paintings. The boy who would only leave after you did. The boy who would give you the warmest smile whenever your eyes met.

That boy was Huang Renjun. 

You only got to know his name during the autumn of your first year. When it was pouring and you found that you left your umbrella at home. Desperate to get home before your parents start ranting about how late you returned, you were ready to run all the way home. Until Renjun offered to share his umbrella. He had flashed a shy smile and you agreed without second thought. 

From that day on, the two of you would walk home together. You’d draw in silence, comfortable with each other’s company, then make small talk on the way home. 

You still couldn’t believe he was real. It was as if the spring wind had blew him into that classroom that year and he could disappear with the cherry blossom petals at anytime.

Maybe because it was spring. Maybe it was because you wanted to fall in love before graduating high school. But recently you found yourself growing more and more fond of the art room boy.

Peeking through the windows, your eyes immediately flew to the doe eyed student. He was already sitting in front of his own canvas, paintbrush in hand. Yet another smile climbed onto your face as a frown came onto his. He obviously wasn’t pleased with his painting so far. It was an adorable sight.

You knocked twice on the door to notify him of your presence. Renjun looked up from his canvas and his eyes lit up the moment he saw you. The previous pout he had sported now replaced with a smile that could rival the sun itself. Nodding as a greeting, you pull an easel out and start dying the white, blank canvas with bright, lively colors.

The sun had began to retire from standing in the sky, casting the school in orange hues. You took one look out the window, then decided that you’d stop for the day. Standing up to give your brushes a wash, you catch the attention of Renjun, who grinned to himself before also starting to pack his things away. It was always like this, one of you would deem it a good time to finish for the day and the other would follow.

You finished packing before Renjun did and leaned against the doorway, watching the dark haired boy stash his brushes back into his bag. Why Renjun didn’t have dates everyday after school was a mystery to you. Especially when he had a face carved by god himself. Shouldn’t the girls be all over him? Also, his lips looked really soft, you’d have to remind yourself to ask him what lip balm he used later on.

“Come on, stop spacing out. Let’s go home.” A gentle voice woke you from another one of your dazes. 

“Ah, right.” Embarrassed that you were caught daydreaming, you scramble to follow Renjun out the door, tripping a little in the process. 

Falling in step beside Renjun, you can’t help but notice how much he’s grown since you two first walked side by side together. He’s a least grown half a head taller. 

“Say, y/n, are you going to be participating in the spring festival?” He asked, the small breeze ruffling his brown locks. You noted that they looked super soft and would have to ask him about the conditioner he uses later on.

“Yeah, I do so every year. Not in the musical though. I can’t sing to save myself and Mr. Kim never chooses me for backdrop design.” Renjun hummed in response, kicking a stray pebble on the side walk. 

“I don’t see you around though? Do you participate or?” You’ve never seen Renjun under the pink trees exhibiting his work. You know he’s a talented artist. You’ve sneaked enough peeks at his work to know. 

“I get chosen to do the backdrop design every year. Everyone says that Mr. Kim has a soft spot for me.” He lets out a soft chuckle. “But this year, I turned down his offer.” 

“What? Why?”

He shrugged. “I wanted to exhibit my work like everyone else this year.”

“I can finally see your paintings without looking suspicious.” You mutter victoriously to yourself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

 “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?”

“Y/n, could you put some emotions into your acting?” 

Thursday night, and you were at Donghyucks house, helping him rehearse one last time before the big day tomorrow. He had bugged you for ages before you caved in and shuffled to his house in your pajamas. And as if you weren’t already done with him, he then tells you to climb the tree up to his room because he couldn’t be bothered going down to open the door for you. 

“Hyuck, I’m not an actress and I’m not going to be going on stage tomorrow.” Running your hand through your hair in annoyance. Doing so reminded you that you forgot to ask Renjun about his conditioner. “Also, why Romeo and Juliet? It’s Shakespeare's most overrated piece.”

Tutting was heard from where Donghyuck was curled up on his bed. “We made changes so that it wouldn’t be a tragedy. A happy ending to the classic would make the spring season ten folds better”

You picked a stray leaf out of your hair. “Doesn’t make it any better in my opinion.”

A familiar ping signaled an arrival of a message. A smirk climbed onto your face as you realized it was from your friend’s phone. 

“Date?”

“I wish. It’s from Mark.” Donghyuck sighed, unlocking his phone. 

“Oooooh, you’re going with him then?” Rising from Hyuck’s creaky chair, you launch yourself onto the bed, clambering to sit beside your best friend. 

“No, he’s just coming to watch the musical. He might stay for a while afterwards though. And he’s bringing his university friends.” Donghyuck said as the messages came in. 

“I hope he brings some hotties.”

“Are you planning on cheating on your boyfriend or what?” Your eyebrows flew towards your hairline at his question. Boyfriend? Who? 

“Since when have I had a boyfriend?”

“Uh, the dude you walk home with?” Donghyuck mentioned as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What was he called? Huang Renjun? Jeno and Jaemin’s friend?”

“Woah, hold up. First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, he probably doesn’t even like me that way. Secondly, Jeno and Jaemin know him? Thirdly, how do you know that we walk home together?” You had no idea that Renjun was friends with Jeno and Jaemin. Those two were loud and rowdy, different from the quiet boy you saw after school. You couldn’t imagine the three of them together.

Totally ignoring your questions, the third rowdy boy you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting, sits up on his bed and says,

“So you like him?”

Suddenly, the room felt a few degrees hotter. Even though the windows were open and it wasn’t summer yet. You must have a fever. 

“No?”

“Liar! Your face is bright red!” Donghyuck starts cackling, hands over his stomach. “So if he asked you out, you would turn him down?”

“No?” You repeated the same word from earlier. This time in a much smaller volume. Except your ass of a friend hears anyways.

“Y/n finally has a crush! I thought this day would never come! In spring too! What a perfect season to fall in love!” You felt as though Hyuck might as well be exclaiming this to the whole school. Your face and ears was burning from embarrassment and you wanted to bury yourself in a hole.  

“I’m going home. Practice your lines by yourself.” 

“No, I’m sorry y/n, I love you please help me.”

The love you had for Renjun was completely platonic. 

Right?

You couldn’t sleep at all last night.

After returning from Donghyuck’s, all that was going through your mind was the quiet, sweet boy from the art room. Did you really like him like that? Or were you just overthinking. And, did he like you?

It drove you mad. Romance novels didn’t have anything on this situation. Romcom movies didn’t either! . 

So you woke up this morning with a huge bed head from rolling around and obvious dark eye circles. Halfway to school, you also realized that you forgot to bring your paintings with you. So you had to run back to get them. You must’ve looked like a mess when you arrived because Donghyuck winced the moment he saw you. But it only took a light slap from him to bring you back to the hostile being you were when you were with your dumb friend.

You had successfully told yourself that your love for Renjun was platonic.

The sky was a bright blue with just enough cloud cover so that you could enjoy your day without the sun shining into your eyes. The spring breeze scattered pink petals across the school lawn and on top of the excited chatter from students and teachers. You couldn’t ask for better weather.

Blowing a strand of hair away from your face, you stood back to admire your little station. You had chosen a spot next to the walkway this year. All of your proud works surrounded a wooden stool on which you would sit on. You had been lucky enough to secure a place next to the trunk of a cherry blossom tree. This meant that the pastel petals would shower down onto your station whenever a breeze blew through. 

You took a sip of water from your water bottle and glanced at your wristwatch, pleased to see that there was still a while before the gates opened to guests. Stretching, you scanned the area around you. Jeno and Jaemin were warming up in the open piece of grass behind the tree you were situated at while a poor first and second year, Jisung and Chenle, got their speaker ready for them. Donghyuck was probably running over his lines with the female lead behind the stage. You could imagine how nervous he was at this very second.

Across the walkway from you, was where Renjun had set up his station. Right under the old tree that was rumored to keep you and your special someone together. You giggled to yourself before jogging over and tapping the chinese boy’s shoulder.

“Hey.”

Renjun’s head snapped back to face you in shock. “Y/n! You scared me!”

You sent him an apologetic smile. Turning to look at the tree, you mentioned,

“You’re going to have a fun time watching couples make out today huh.”

“Is this the- Oh no- I chose the wrong tree.” Renjun’s hand came up to his forehead in regret. “Now I have to deal with couples shoving their tongues down the other’s throat. All day.”

Putting a hand on his shoulder in mock sympathy, you shook your head. “Look on the bright side. At least this is a nice tree.”

The festival was almost over. 

The musical was a huge hit with the multiple couples that came. Even though you were still convinced that Romeo and Juliet was overrated, you were extremely proud of Donghyuck. He executed the role of Romeo perfectly and his singing nearly brought you to tears. Though he was the one who burst into tears when he stumbled off stage after the show. Jaemin and Jeno’s dancing attracted many female fans. Some of them were ready to drag them under the old cherry blossom tree.

You and Renjun’s stations were well received by the comers. You even sold a few of your pieces! You had met Renjun’s eyes at one point during the festival and burst into laughter at the look on his face. He looked super uncomfortable stuck between two couples kissing.  

It was dusk and the bright blue sky had turned purple. The sun was sinking lower into the horizon, stars popping up one by one after it. Lanterns were starting to light up and even though the festival was coming to a close, it was just as lively as it was at the beginning. This was the time where students who had participated get to enjoy themselves.

Packing your last painting away, you pat yourself on the back for a successful last spring festival of your high school career. Setting the packed bag onto your wobbly stool, you turn to face the warm, spring-like boy who was waving to his last visitor. Skipping your way over, you plopped yourself on the patch of grass next to his stool, leaning on the tree trunk. 

“How was your first and last festival running a station?” You asked with a bright smile adoring your face.

“Very, interesting.” He replied, a sweet smile on his own face. Abandoning his own stool, he fell down next to you on the grass. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many kissing couples in my entire life.”

Your shoulder was touching his. You’ve never really noticed how much wider his shoulders were compared to yours. Renjun rips open a coke flavored lollipop and pops it into his mouth. Then he pulls another one out of his bag and offers it to you, to which you politely decline.

The two of you sat under the blooming tree for a while, making small talk here and there while watching people come and go busily. Occasionally blocking each other’s eyes when a couple came sauntering up to the tree the two of you were under.

“I’m going to have to wash my eyes after today.” You had hissed, peeking between the boy’s slim fingers. “Why aren’t they leaving. Go make out at home dammit.” You’ve never really noticed how soft Renjun’s palm is. You’ll have to ask him about the hand cream he uses later on. 

As the moon slowly rose up to take the sun’s shift, the pretty purple sky made way for the darker hues it brought. The students started yawning and the guests started bidding their goodbyes. Neither you nor Renjun moved from your spots, wanting to bathe in each other’s company for a while longer. 

“Say, y/n, do you believe in the rumor surrounding this tree?” The boy next to you suddenly piped, turning to face you. 

“Absolutely not.” You replied, certainty in your voice. “Why would an old tree have magical abilities? And how unsure do you have to feel about your relationship to actually kiss under this tree?”

You notice that Renjun started to fiddle with the lollipop stick, the candy on it long finished. Then he shuffled so that he was sitting cross legged, facing you. 

“See, I’m probably one of those people who believe it because I’m unsure.”

Your heart dropped. Oh, he was in a relationship. That explains why he didn’t have girls all over him like Jeno and Jaemin had. But why did you feel disappointed? Surely it was because he had kept his girlfriend a secret from you.

“Oh, you have a girlfriend?” You didn’t mean for it to come out in the malicious way it did.

“Ah, no, I’m unsure about our relationship.” 

Your eyes widened and you sat up from how you were leaning on the tree trunk. “Us?”

“Yeah, what are we? I would like to refer to us as friends but,” Renjun’s eyes darted to the lollipop stick in his hands. “My heart wants to refer us as a couple.”

Your heart fluttered. Heck, it wasn’t just fluttering, it was about to take off into the sky. Why was it acting like that?

“I didn’t set up under the wrong tree. I wanted to have enough courage to kiss you under the tree. I wanted us to be together forever. But it’s the end of the day and I still have yet to do it.” His voice was becoming smaller and smaller with each word, his face starting resemble a tomato by the end of his sentence. 

Without thinking, you lifted his head and pressed your lips to his. You weren’t sure how to kiss properly but the way you had done it seemed right. Pulling away, you realized that his lips tasted faintly of the sugary treat he eaten earlier. Breaking into the familiar smile that you’ve grown so fond of, Renjun pulled you back into another sweet, sugary kiss.

You didn’t believe in the stupid rumor of the old cherry blossom tree in the school grounds, but this once, you were willing to think that it was real.

You were woken from your nap when a stray cherry blossom petal found it’s way into the warm, lazy classroom. Riding the spring wind for a small while before settling itself onto your cheek. Brushing the pink piece of flower away, you sat up in your seat and stretched before gazing out the window. 

Spring had come early this year. Cherry blossoms were blooming much earlier than it had last year. Grey clouds were parting for the blue skies quicker than it had last year. 

Arrival of the pink blooming trees were a reminder that you and Renjun’s one year anniversary was coming up. 

Donghyuck had interrogated Renjun thoroughly when he found out you two were actually dating while Jeno and Jaemin both laughed at Renjun’s flustered answers. It had been smooth sailing ever since. The small disagreements you two had weren’t nearly enough to break you and the boy up.

Tearing your eyes away from the window, you rested your head on the palm of your hand, facing the rowdy boys next to you. The four of them had gotten along quite well for the past year as well. Renjun currently had Jeno and Jaemin in headlocks while Hyuck was edging your boyfriend on.

Letting out a content sigh, you looked down at your art piece you were about to submit as your graduation piece. 

It was a painting of a couple sharing a sweet kiss, under a blooming cherry blossom tree, below a purple sky. 

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