#I just happen to hate that sort of story

[kikizoshi]

can we form a coup against asagiri and make you the writer instead? genuinely... I am not taking the Fyodor immortal information well.. please help............................ ( ´，_ゝ` )

Oh, I would absolutely not do BSD well either. I just wish Asagiri had stuck to his roots more. He was a great comedy writer, and the beginning of the story was great for it. It's the action and Death Note stuff he can't seem to get mastery of. But for the immortal part: I'm not entirely sold that Fyodor's immortal, yet. It seems like yet another twists that will twist to reveal oh, shocker, he faked his memories to confuse Sigma/the ADA... or something. Could very well be immortal, but not 100% guaranteed.

#bsd #anon #I still support his right to write his story however he wants #and a lot of people seem to enjoy this sort of shock-value shounen writing he's doing now #I just happen to hate that sort of story #so when BSD pivoted to that I was dragged along into it because of Fyodor and Nikolai #and get salty whenever characters who own a part of my heart and soul are subjected to bad shock writing #and yes I know the version of them that I love the most exist within my own perception #and are a product of the years I've spent working on and developing them for my own stories #but I still love and adore the originals too #and so it's painful and irritating #because the characters are no longer the main focus of the story #it's all about the shock... the next biggest thing #Nikolai's doesn't have a motive to be the ferryman I need to get all the characters in the same place/start the next arc? No problem! #he just wants to kill Fyodor now. problem solved. #how did he use his Ability to get Sigma to France when his Ability only travels 30m at a time? #eh don't worry about it. I made an omake about it so you know I know it's an absolute joke #Nikolai's whole character and Ability practically changed just for convenience... for the story and shock #so as a fan of character-based stories it hurts that sometimes characters just aren't respected at all #with Fyodor I know it's more a case of Asagiri's vision of him seems to have changed as the story progressed #in that realm I'm so happy that BSD is serialised because it means I still have the initial version of Fyodor that I loved with all my hear #when I really can't stand Meursault!Fyodor at all and wish he would just die already so I could be fully free

[rotisseries]

"she met a pinecone's fate" was hysterical the first time around and it's still funny but the longer I think about it the more unsure I actually am about the line

#it just feels so. callous. or like. it doesn't FEEL callous cause it's not portrayed that way and you laugh and I'm still laughing #but like. it's callous that is a callous thing to say and it's not like percy doesn't have dickishness to spare #but on this specific thing? really? he's not like that #like. this is after being told the full story so he knows what happened to thalia #and his response to effectively hearing about how this girl died for her friends and not just any friends but the people he's with rn #is “she met a pinecone's fate” a like. dismissive joke about what happened to her #like in the books percy empathizes with thalia's situation he feels for her it's tragic it's a somber moment😭😭 #she was a demigod more powerful than the others she was hunted even more than they usually are (percy relates) #and she died for her friends (definitely something percy relates to and would value lol) #and on TOP OF THAT. to say this in front of grover and annabeth? who clearly loved her a lot?? #like. percy doesn't like annabeth atp but he doesn’t hate her enough to be crossing those sorts of lines?? #and GROVER. is literally his best friend. can you not figure that thalia's death probably weighs on him #oh wait I just remembered at that point in the episode he doesn't know grover was with them lol sorry ignore that bit #anyway. like I get it it's funny and they have a lightly antagonistic relationship in ttc so it's funny!! #like haha he's ALREADY getting his digs in!! #but. idk. feels a bit mean :/ #pjo #pjo tv #dropping episode 3 thoughts mere hours before episode 4 lmao #I'm not gonna be able to watch 4 tonight though lol

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward

#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today #she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts #but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3 #laya plays dragon age #feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2? #or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it #she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of #do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it #cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them #but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!) #(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards #but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes??????? #full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments #but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest #but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell #also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like #and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her #didnt line up with what actually happened #(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that) #sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing

[mischas]

Yesterday I saw this tweet quoting a list of the ‘ao3 ship stats of 2023’ and they were talking about how out of 100 ships, the list only had 27 women total. Then someone said that couldn’t simply be just misogyny, and another person said they had seen others explaining they mostly ship male characters because women are badly written/under developed, and I mean… Please, that’s such bullshit! It made me sad, and also it made me think of these characters we’ve been loving for so long and despite them being written by men, and sometimes being BADLY written or written ooc, they’re still so important and it’s so worth exploring their layers and giving them voice. I just wish female fic writers would step up and write about ourselves, write characters we can relate, flesh them out—we’re in 2024, ffs! How can we blame men for not writing women well and then just dedicate our time and creativity to write this so called interesting fictional men we have love or whatever? Sorry, I know this sounds more angsty than anything but it really pissed me off. We need to stop calling male blorbos “baby girl” and start writing and voicing real baby girls!!! (That obviously includes wlw relationships!) That’s why I love this blog so much, btw. That’s why when I thought of venting about it I thought: oh, she would understand! Thank you for always talking about Marissa’s layers and potential, thanks for making women who relate to her in some level feel understood. 🫶🏻

Oh wow, that's crazy. But also... unsurprising. So that's 27 total women out of 200 characters/individuals? Jesus. I'm not terribly versed in modern fandom (or even, like, old fandom, really) but male characters have historically been babied and loved on more. I don't really get it. A huge chunk of that is they were created and crafted by men and those stories come from a patriarchal perspective. How shows/stories shape and shift can really define how things are written moving forward and it's frankly true that audiences are much more harsh about the fallibility of female characters than they are of their male counterparts. I personally think it stems from men being generally terrible irl so people take male characters and run with them because it's safe and comforting rather than dealing with the reality of dudes irl.

You're right, we need to stand up for the ladies!! And that absolutely includes wlw relationships!

You're very sweet. I love Marissa. I could talk about her all day. It blows my mind that people still misunderstand her in 2024.

#ask #anonymous #i detest when my fave character on an ensemble ends up being a guy. like goddamn i had one job #it happens very seldom but like.... yeah. dawson's creek in particular #i do think part of it is women are historically written terribly like you said #but to me that's all the more motivation to write stuff for them to rectify things #not lean into male arcs instead or whatever #imagine me caring much for manpain...... just wouldn't happen #unless it's pacey witter crying #but like i said that's rare #dc hated their women tho so it's not my fault. well joey becomes a mary sue but other than that. that's a form of hatred sort of #while the oc really just hated marissa. to the nth degree #and kirsten lowkey but that's another story #i just realized this ask is literally “she's everything... he's just ken” #and people losing their minds over ken #i think it's more the power of ryan gosling than anything but still

[cawziiku]

I'm not gonna be responding to these anymore, I don't want to have to think about this rn, but I'm keeping the posts up

#phandom #dp #this isnt me backing down im just taking a sick day and Do Not need this rn #actually disgusting that this many people in our community is just. openly okay with this #and theyre turning it on me. as if im the one glorifying it wtf #not allowing asks on main #i really dont want to associate with this fandom anymore. any hope i had for it not being that bad is lost on me #and i hate drama and negativity and i feel like im fsrming that by responding to so many of these #i deleted a lot of other responses i was too tiref to deal with but still #might just block phandom tags altogether. i just dont know atp #ive had literally only two sane people respond out of the dozen unhinged messages #and that just doesnt feel good at all honesty. like what happened #sorry if this is overdramatic in anyway. i originally just dropped a post i thought no one would see #cause viewing this content after having blocked tags was disturbing to me #and a lot of people saw it. and a majority of those people were very outwardly okay w this #i dont gaf if its fiction. if you fantasize about that sort of thing youre disgusting and i wsnt nothing to do with you. end of story #tw pompuspep #tw

[illithilit]

That moment when you realize that Mourndax is so flippant about everything bc ofc he is. Man's barely had any agency in his life under his parents' control, and he's less than five years removed from that. He hasn't exactly had time to learn how to make decisions of his own, and acting like you don't give a shit what the outcome is, or that you've simply changed your mind about it for no particular reason is a lot easier than admitting to still remembering how much the leash hurt when pulled on.

#the moral of the story is I will gut you if I need to; I will carve my way out with only my teeth // Mourndax headcanon. #all the world will be your enemy and if they catch you they will kill you -- but first they must catch you // Vhaeraun headcanon. #also probably why Vhaeraun feels like so much of a crutch to him #he's a control figure even if Vhae doesn't actively control him #but the idea of letting someone else make his choices feels safer #meanwhile I'm so sure Vhae's perspective is knowing that feeling full well and wanting to help dig Daxie out of it #bc while yes there are plenty of things you can say about Vhaeraun #he does actually care a LOT about his followers #he's canonically one of the most responsive of any deity #ALSO I think the fact that Vhae ISN'T controlling Daxie and being more of a guard rail to grip onto #while he figures out his shit and or at most gives nudges in certain directions #is legit why Daxie's as attached to him as he is #sort of like the whole father figure I never got to experience / son I never wanted type deal #also ALSO as a little thought on Vhaeraun??? #while I haven't actually decided how I'm going to view what happened between Lolth and Corellon #there's something SO intrinsically hurtful about helping your mother escape from her husband #and then she goes and forges a society built upon hating and diminishing a piece of what you are #like before the point he turned on her Vhae was nothing but a loyal son to her #even if I'm so sure her choices were more reactionary towards Corellon than anything to do with him I just...... #idk how you wouldn't take that extremely personally. that shit's devastating fr

[starbuck]

had a dream last night that someone said they didn’t like one of the characters in [redacted] because he was “too arrogant” and i was SO mad i was like “IMAGINE missing the point this hard. EVERYONE in this film is wrong in some way that’s the entire POINT! why would you expect or even WANT any of these characters to be perfect victims? you’re not even really SUPPOSED to like them - it’s a TRAGEDY!” and now i’m awake and realize that nobody actually said that or probably even would say that but Anyway… Cunt Supremacy.

#i’m not sure that ‘arrogant’ is the right word but he IS shit in his own way #but this is aggressively a ‘feature not a bug’ sort of situation #like. ik this is subjective and people can think whatever they want #but it DOES sort of annoy me when people get mad at characters for like… having character traits?? #people saying like ‘i hate this character because he lies and schemes’ and it’s like. Okay???? that’s what he’s supposed to do tho?????? #that’s his role in the story?????????? #like. i get being annoyed with a character in the moment - especially if you’re watching/reading for the first time #but out-and-out HATING a character feels like a projection thing to me #idk maybe i’m wrong #but for me i either enjoy a character or i’m neutral on them #i can’t imagine spending my energy hating one #cuz like. they aren’t real #🤷🤷🤷🤷 #idk #now being annoyed with poor or inconsistent writing i get - but that’s an issue with the writers - not the characters #so yeah 🤷🤷 #and if your argument is ‘this character’s bad actions reflect bad things that happen irl’ then fine okay #but maybe spend your time hating the irl people who do it then?? #seems like a better use of energy #but that’s just me

[straight-to-the-pain]

You reblogged that antis post so I just wanted to be sure, do you support shipping adults with minors?

(To clarify- am asking because the terms are vague and used for multiple things and I didn't want to assume anything)

I was debating whether or not to answer this because frankly ‘support’ is just as vague a term as any other but like, I’m not invested in shipping discourse, I mostly stick to original fiction and stay out of fandom wank.

I reblogged the post in the context of purity culture and people being harassed for using fiction to explore things that they know are immoral and harmful irl. What does shipping mean to you? Does it mean that the characters in question would have a healthy, loving relationship? Or is it a dynamic you think is interesting to consider through a fictional lens?

I don’t care what people want to write about. If we didn’t let people write about bad things that would be the definition of censorship. Creating fictional content doesn’t somehow make you a criminal and it doesn’t equal harm unless you specifically use that content to hurt someone.

If you’re asking me if I supporting pedophilia then, no of course I don’t. I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone here who would tell you that they thought that it was fine for adults to date children irl. If you’re asking me if I think that it’s a topic that should never be written about in fiction, frankly I don’t think such a topic exists.

Do I think that context and intent matters? Undoubtedly. But unless a writer is actively saying things and doing things that lead me to believe that they condone the things they write about irl, I’m not going to stop them from creating the fiction they want to create.

I write about torture and murder and rape and civil war and people being abused and hurt and assaulted, all things that I would never support irl. The fact that I enjoy writing and reading about these topics doesn’t make me a bad person. I don’t personally want to engage with any underage nsfw content in an enjoyable context, and it’s not something that I find fun, but I’ve seen it explored well, and I think it’s a topic that has to be written about if we want to be able to understand it and challenge it in the real world too.

We’re all too happy to call people online pedos and never quite willing enough to tackle the abuse that happens in plain sight all around us.

#I don’t think I actually get what shipping is ngl #like to me it doesn’t mean oh I think they’d be a good healthy couple #it just means I want to put these two people together in my fictional story and see what chaos will happen #and like no I personally don’t have any interest in shipping any fictional children and adults #that’s not one of the things I’m interested in exploring in my writing #it’s not something I’m gonna put on this blog #it’s a rule specifically in my server because it makes me personally uncomfortable #but anyway this is just the sort of question people ask I think because they want an excuse to send anon hate so #if you’re planning to do that I’m not actually gonna post it so don’t bother #I’m secure enough in my own morals and personal actions thank you very much #also yelling at people online doesn’t make them better #it just satisfies your desire for moral superiority #asks answered #child abuse #just in case you want to block that you know #it is a bit of a heavy topic so

[sol-flo]

i was so caught up in my disgust at the idea of working 8 hours at the office and spending 40+ minutes on commute that i'm only now realizing i can't take the same buses to and from the office. i'm gonna throw up

#i wanna quit fr #like. ok i have a strict policy against any sort of decision while on my period because i always always fuck it up instantly #but this makes me genuinely anxious. i dont like taking the bus alone at all and i specially dont like the idea of two separate routes #comprised of two buses each #i can go by train but thats the stupid route. i have a friend who walks to the station that i could probably go with but its stupid #walking 40 minutes at 8 in the morning just to get to the next leg of the journey... thats a joker origin story #ive a feeling of a burnout just waiting to happen #eight hours man. ten with commute. i barely work six at home bc i just cant do it. to get paid like i am? #i genuinely think im better off with a 'i work from home or dont work at all' ultimatum #god i really hate work i dont think ill be able to. keep going like this for 40+ years yknow #i AM just whiny and bitchy and lazy and anxious about being seen as a young woman alone but im also right

[lunarharp]

a random draft where i was ramblingg about witch hat & art to myself for myself :)

rare time i feel like actually going off about the thing i’m having fun with right now in more detail ... but not on twt where strangers might try to discuss back at me lol sorry but that is scary. (not that you even have the room to soliloquy on there)

i love how there's characters for varying types of artists to relate to. people like agott who have been adept at drawing from a young age but feel overwhelmed by feelings of not meeting their expectations. and are driven mostly by feelings of wanting to prove their worth..

people like oru who have always been around the art but now are burnt out from commissions and wondering just what they're drawing for... and ones i relate to the most personally like coco and qifrey, who started drawing at an older age to the skilled people around them. like coco i'm so happy that i'm in the world of drawing(/magic) now and excited every day but also weighed down by fears that i'll never get to what i where i need to be after starting at this late stage and also whether i'm really cut out for this....

and like qifrey i only started drawing after a narrow escape from trauma... i started drawing to make sense of what my life is now, just as he was invited by beldaruit to become a witch because it was the only safe path he could take. (although i've not been through anything quite like what he's been through... ouagh)

and there’s tetia who just wants to draw to make other people feel happy about what she’s made, to have fun, and spread hope and happiness and gratitude. who feels so happy whenever someone thanks her for what she’s created - i understand now how it feels to want to thank them for thanking her and how making art, when you get a meaningful response, can be a truly warm communal type experience. but you do need that response - her overwhelming happiness when the dragon thing was happy and she said it was the first time she’d ever felt fully appreciated for her magic and it made her soooo happy. she had been drawing until then, but it was the last puzzle in place to make her realise the breadth of what magic can be for her.

and riche who is determined to not lose the “her”-ness from her art, doesn’t want to learn new techniques and become more regular and orthodox in style if it means she feels she’s losing something... i get that!!! precious autistic-coded child... the ways we feel about our art differ depending on our own mental landscapes. hahhhh... shirahama said she began this series because she was having a conversation with artist friends about how it feels like drawing just really is magic. i mean..... it is.

i think writing feels like magic too, and i’m glad i can do both now. any creation is total magic. i’ve drawn scenes that were in my head and that’s let other people see them and if i can trust their comments about it, has moved them in some way or at least let them imagine a scene or a situation that they wouldn’t have imagined otherwise. but it’s different from just telling someone about it. when you draw something, or write something it really exists now - outside of you. THAT’S SO WEIRD.

i liked drawing a lot of takarazuka things (before i realised i got kind of burnt out drawing all this transcore stuff that people were not exactly responding to because it’s so niche and weird lmao) but drawing fanart for something that also ONLY exists in art is so special. it’s not acted by real people. like.. they’re just little people that someone drew and now i draw them too. total magic. and she gets up and draws them every day the same as me...

i love that a manga isn’t just art, it’s storytelling too. doing both writing and drawing at the same time - it feels like such a perfect and fascinating combination of skills and facets of creation. i’m better at writing than drawing, so i don’t feel like i can express my original stories well enough in comic form just yet. but i might just get there.

the world is so confusing and overwhelming and terrible every day. only creation is something i can understand. sometimes i can’t understand it - when i feel REALLY bad, it’s definitely like, what’s the point. and i wish i had more things to experience at present than just creation - i want to be outside and just feel and be as well as create. and at some point i’ll definitely stop posting my creations online. but creating has become something that i don’t need to understand the reason for it - so at those times when i wonder what the real point to any of this is.... lately, i usually still create anyway. just as you’d still breathe and sleep even though you’re hurt and confused by the horrors of the world. it’s becoming how i express myself. i find myself drawing pretty much every day because it’s part of how i make sense of shit now and i naturally want to do it. not doing it is painful.

i hope this magic continues. i hope it becomes far more wonderful than i can even imagine from here.

and i won't lose.

#things really are different if you start drawing in your mid/late 20s or onwards. #you haven't developed your idea of yourself as an 'artist' at the time your brain was developing your identity. #but reading something that is basically saying- it's not too late and you have your own magic that only youan do... is so heartening. #also the manga is very gay. it's not THAT shockingly original and fascinating a story- but like... #i just don't know many ongoing fun series with interesting lovable characters where there are also major representations #for disability race queerness etc. #esp if tetia is trans. shirahama-sensei you can tell me... #MOSTLY IM LOSING MY MIND AT WHERE THE SERIES IS GOING LIKE I AM SCARED. my theories are dark and i fear for qifrey SOMEONE HELP HIMMM.. #ONCE AGAIN LET SOMEONE HLEP YOU YOU QUESTIONABLE AND TRAGIC GAY LITTLE SKIRT MAN #i hate that i had to just let my fic be so short. I CANT WRITE ANY MORE RIGHT NOW...i would have to make up so much plot stuff #bc orufrey CANNT happen they cant freaking KISS until so much is sorted out between them which requires the plot moving forward and.. #AUGHHH !!!! sensei please just tell me what happens please please please please please please please please please #the next chapter looks hella plot-ful but STILL..it's going to take YEARS..i just want to know if qifrey IS GOING TO SURVIVE THIS SHIT !!!! #if the brimhats [redacted] then he'll [redacted] and THEN WHAT IF [redacted] has to [redacted] I FEEL LIKE SENSEI'LL DO THAT !!! SCARED #SURELLLY she'll have [redacted] have to [redacted] but i dont think shed go as far as [redacted] ?????? #i plan to go to japan next year if possible anyway but what if it's too early for an anime-fuelled merch section in animate. please #this is like the first new and non-zuka thing i've been hyperfixated on for years. i need official qifrey and oru items. I need the items #once again i feel weird putting my personal feelings and theories on the internet to an audience of nobody but once again we will die. #am i going to be on my deathbed thinking 'oh i shouldn't have happily gone off about witch hat on tumblr that time how embarrassing' no. #do you know how worthwhile it is to enjoy something. and to basically avoid other fanworks for the most part so you're just surrounded #by your own pure and enjoyable feelings. #i actually went to a local queer art place yesterday and like. man i was very different to them but #there are people somewhat like me out there huh. somewhere. i'm going to make zines and art and express my world. even if just a bit. #literally why would you priv reblog something like this i think there is something wrong with you? i feel better about myself now #i will find the ones like me not the ones like you <3

[supercimi]

my kitten

(to anyone who maybe scrolling this is not a story nor is it a rant but its written for myself by me so skip if you want)

my little cute kitty who i miss very dearly i hope you're okay wherever you've gone to, we've searched for you for the past week yet we still can't find you,but I'm still hoping that you're alive and well somewhere even if it's not by my side.

i wish i had petted you more, i wish i had played with you more.

i wish i had looked out for you more.

i know there's sadly millions of lost cats out there other than you, i know i still have your siblings, i know that you getting lost doesn't mean you're gone (i pray it doesn't) i know that maybe life outside would be better for you than our small home and you might even find a better home to stay at. knowing how charming you are that wouldn't be so far fetched... still, i will never stop missing you.

although my family doesn't completely believe me I think your brothers miss you too.

you all are such mischievous and energetic little kittens you kept running all over the place playing tag with each other and with others, stealing snacks or playing in any box you'd find like it's some kind of jungle or something and you my kitten would even steal lollipops or candy from us! you even managed to gnaw it open and munch on it! i hope you're not eating anything weird wherever you may be it can't be good for you!

you know .. your brothers aren't as energetic as before.

they don't play a lot anymore, they also became more close to each other and if one is not there the other mews until he finds him or he mews back... you used to really hate it and mew loudly if your siblings were in one room and you were alone in another even if I'm with you...maybe they picked it up from you?

sometimes they don't eat much... or maybe that's just me putting too much on their plates? haha

i didn't get used to putting just two portions of kitten food yet...

my little kitten i know it's dangerous out there but i pray with all my heart that you will be alright and be well fed and safe.. and i know its simply my selfishness and I know it's not good to be so insistent... still i pray that you will come back home to us.

and even if you don't come back I will always love you and pray for your safety.

#..this is... sadly not a story I'm writing or drabble i wrote.. its more like a diary entry so its OK if anyone coming across this skips it #i... still haven't lost hope! i.. know it may be just false hope that I'm believing and only god knows what happened to her... still #i this hope is what's keeping me going #this belief that god will be guiding her to safety is what's helping me the most #even though we posted ads and searched for so long we still can't find her.. but i believe in him and i believe that she will be okay #.... i actually started writing this post as a draft in the third day since she got lost... #but i hated to even think to give up so i decided to wait for a week who knows she might come back right? #but she is still lost.... she still didn't come back #and I'm absolutely not giving up on her coming back! i didn't write this to give up... #i... just wanted to sort out my feelings.... #today happens to be the day she got lost a week ago and also the day I'm worried about something happening to someone i care about #....them and my cat both of them are dear but far from me... #it makes me sad that i can't do more... #i will keep looking and believing as i always have #I'm not giving up #because I love them so I hope they'll be okay

[malewifehenrycooldown]

Slightly long, ramble vent-ish post but also some negative observations of the wider self ship community that has been bothering me a little bit.

sometimes I don’t want to be in the self ship community anymore (not that I considered myself part of it from the beginning) because said the community creates these small pocket communities of the same people interacting with each other and that’s fair and totally fine!

It’s just that up to a certain point, these pocket communities start to create an isolating and alien environment for newcomers and this is not helped by the community’s genuinely bad communication skills. Like I genuinely wonder how many blogs have deactivated due to lack of interactivity (a whole can of worms no one likes talking about apparently. HI REBLOG:LIKE RATIO) and the overwhelmingly intimidating environment for younger folks (teens - early 20s) to navigate, especially people who may not be as critical or conscious of the media they consume (and don’t understand how they could be harming people through consuming specific pieces of fiction). I remember one person straight up left due to the lack of communication and it really, really sucks because just an open conversation can really ease peoples fears and worries. People just should not have to feel like walking on eggshells all the damn time in the community and if they feel that way then there is something SEVERELY WRONG with this community but no one cares to address it

Like I’ve already left a few self discord servers, and blocked some users, and now I just don’t see any point really being in the community anymore, because there’s been multiple occasions when I’ve interacted with a user and then it turns out that said user probably has some personal issues they need to sort out, but constantly deflect blame or disregard anyone’s advice to change their actions/attitudes for the better or that they really need to get actual professional help. Like obviously we should call out bad behaviour but also know that you should encourage these people to change saidd behaviours for the better.

Idk maybe I’m cursed on tumblr to interact with people who turn out to be not that great or I’m just too naive because I believe that people are inherently good. Maybe I’m a fool for wanting to see the good in people and wanting to support them, all at the cost of me ignoring all the red flags that are obviously in front of me. Which to be fair is probably reasonable; fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me for not knowing better I should have heeded the red flags when I saw them. /serious

#shallow rambles #shallow vents #/ not about anymone #I guess also because tumblr is a bit of a polarising platform which probably doesn’t help #a few early former mutuals turn out to be not great people :/ #it probably doesn’t help that I am a conflict avoider and this sort of shit triggers my fight or flight response #idk man. maybe I’ll just stay in my bubble tbh #that and also I’ve noticed there’s some cult of Personality type shit happening too in the self ship community but I don’t think people #are ready to have that conversation yet 🧍‍♀️ #don’t expect me to do promos anymore tbh I don’t really see the point in them anymore #others thoughts are appreciated because I hope I’m not the only person that feels isolated by the community #like I have a life outside of the internet. i have more important things to do than worry about the ‘community’ #like obviously. gatekeep this shit from pro/shippers and alt right/hateful/bigoted people. #but like don’t make good folks in your community have to walk on eggshells all the time #this is not a sob story or anything these are just my thoughts and stuff #<- ​/gen serious #I’m just so tired of this community #nothing is fun anymore tbh and really it’s just more so a chore now… #when i come back I might clean out my posts and followers to keep a minimal audience #it might get better idk. #thoughts on queue #scheduled post: waiting in line

[bhalspawn]

i don't think ill ever fully understand elder scrolls lore and i think that is ok

#i cant wrap my head around some of it #like. just the story of creation is confusing but i do like it cause. Why Should Mere Mortals understand or whtvr #and the tribunal give me a headache like #WHAT exactly happened there? and i guess we DO know what happened to the dwemer?? sort of maybe? i think so?? #and what the actual FUCK is going on w sheogorath #and yes i realize most of this would be answered if i ever finished oblivion or played morrowind ..... #but perhaps im lazy. #i just LOVE the daedra tho. mephala is so sexy honestly... i don't know why. i do actually but i also hate spiders its weird #jyggalag and sheo fascinate me im so worried about jyggalag #wytxt

[fruitydiaz]

just remembered buck’s going to (possibly) have a biological child

#al talks #i KNOOWWW people have talked about this at length but i honestly haven’t given it much thought because i’m just #truly along for the ride this season i have no idea where we’re going i’m just trying to have fun #but. #like. there’s going to be baby out there. a whole human being. that shares his dna. a child. that he helped create. #what is that. how is that going to feel for him? i’m thinking about him getting excited to buy a sword and shield for jee #so he can help teach her that girls can be heroes too. how is he going to feel about a child that literally…is a Part of him #and he can’t do that with them he can’t help raise them or teach them about the world or share any of his life stories with them and GOD #does he have. so many. life stories. to share with his kids. #but he’s not kameron and connor’s baby’s dad. donor not dad!!! #the thing in their case is that it’s not an anonymous donation and they’re buck’s friends and they live close by so it’s not #unlikely that they’ll share pictures of their kid like when they’re first born or around the holidays or maybe at important milestones #and buck might see bits and pieces of him in them as they grow up. he might see his nose or his curls or his eyes. #the kid might be a fucking giant #and they’ll always be part him but never his #it’d be so…bittersweet for him #i don’t HATE this storyline i know a lot of people do but i don’t think kameron and connor are bad people #i don’t want anything bad to happen to them and at this point buck can’t buck out and i don’t #*back out. 😐 anyways. i don’t #want there to be any sort of health complications because i just…don’t think that’s what buck needs to learn #i just think this storyline is going to teach him that…he CAN get what he wants #he just has to be unafraid of it #he has to look it in the eye and go this is what i want for Me #not what i want to do for other people #and i’m going to go out and be proactive and brave about getting it. not take the ‘safest’ or most familiar route #i Think ultimately this baby will be a good thing for him but it’s going to hurt so bad when he realizes it’s what he wants but. #not like that #i also think this parallels eddie’s journey incredibly well showing how they both want the same things but go about getting them in just. #excruciatingly painful ways. but. i’m running out of tags so. thoughts for another time ig

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

ml fandom challenge: just because a relationship isnt what you perceive as ideal aka a relationship youd like to be in, doesn't mean it isnt a good dynamic.. And when a magical show is intended to be a romance that focuses on the strongest relationship in the series, yeah the world is gonna revolve around them, so if you don't like it there's the door --->

#my time off of tumblr was so nice because there are so many people who waste their energy hating the point of the show #and hating that there isnt more... hateful behavior from the characters?? #especially characters like kagami and luka who whether we like them or not are not fully victims because they did take advantage #of their exes before getting into a relationship #sorry but marinette and adrien wouldnt have even looked twice at them if they hadnt been convinced to try it out #lukagami got hurt but they kinda walked into that #i think thats the ultimate reason they arent more spiteful #because they know they signed up for that risk #it would be a waste of narrative to focus on some sort of revenge too #itd ruin the marigami friendship and it would just sidetrack what doesnt need to happen #yes kagami and luka were plot devices to advance the LS and their character growth #we knew this from the start so why be mad now? #they cant have more side plot stuff because it would throw off the whole story #its also a comical show like it isnt that serious let them all be silly geez

[james-stark-the-writer]

I love being insane and rambling/loredumping for over an hour in a voice note about a niche thing in the lore/world of my nonexistent book that will probably never come up and is probably not important to the story at all that I know of because I haven't really started writing it yet besides two chapters and some snippets that were like a few years ago because I cannot be bothered to do research for a different WIP that is not even past the basic stages (the real inciting incident hasn't even happened) bc it's not a current priority before finishing the first draft that I have been working on for the last four years or the first draft of the other WIP I've been working on since the year two thousand and sixteen.

#just writer things #truly hate my brain sometimes like why am I getting trivia for a book I have barely written like 2 #20K* words for like I haven't even opened the doc for it in like 8 months and I haven't actually added anything for over 2 years now so. #I don't even have any particular plans to get to it until I at least finish the 2 WIPs I'm working on rn— #which includes one I've been writing the first draft for since 2018 and a basically done first draft of a WIP from like 2016 #both are missing the 3rd act bc I suck at writing cliamxes + my writing style for either books isn't suited for that so it'll take a while #like the 2016 one is at 120K words and literally only needs 1 more chapter and an epilogue so maybe like 20K more words. #there's supposed to be a big climactic battle which intersects the stories of approximately 25 named characters until the actual climax #which is another battle but more small scale but also more epic bc it's personal and magical #and I've literally already written the second battle but the buildup to the first fight is hard and so is the actual battle #then there's the WIP that's haunted me for the last 4ish years which is at 160K of an expected 200-220K and is entirely missing the 3rd act #like I have some stuff written and I did plan a structure for a bunch of the main plot stuff bc the book takes place over a strict timeline #but like the actual climax is mostly missing like I have the ending written. the ending is fully done. #I've had it written and planned for a WHILE bc it's supposed to lead into a future story and it has to happen this way #but idk how to get there just yet with a cast of almost 50 named characters to keep track of and 6 'main' plots although it's really 3 #like it's a lot to balance bc I prefer writing with larger casts and just getting things done is so hard #bc I physically can't do 'write later' to stuff bc those are some of the most important interactions to me and idk how characters act if— #I don't have those written precisely. it's sort of a story about the effects of the mundane. I literally can't 'write details later' this. #and in the middle of this nightmare — a 4 month writing drought — my brain in like 'here's a bunch of shit about a third story' #god sometimes I simply hate my brain #anyway yeah lol #truly just writer things #owad #anyway guess this is me sort of pivoting back to vomiting about writing on this blog #writbelr #writblr #james rambles #James yells in the tags