Bakugou cums so fast and hard the first time he has sex.
Yall be like: “He lasts long!” “He lets you finish first.”
He would love to! But I imagine he actually didn’t last for shit.
Bakugou had forgotten to use the tricks that everyone had told him.
“Think about something gross so you don’t cum fast!” Not possible, you felt too good for him to think about anything but you.
“Beat off before it happens, the sex’ll last longer.” It happened spontaneously, he had no time.
“Just hold it in through your bladder!” HOW?! Thats the only one he remembered to try and yet it still failed.
He felt so embarrassed when his afterglow wore off. He thought that you wouldn’t wanna have sex with him anymore. He knew better, but he decided that you would go tell all your friends about how easily the great Bakugou Katsuki cums.
He apologizes to you with a scowl on his face (not directed towards you, it was for himself).
“I didn’t mean for it to be that fast. M’sorry.”
He finally meets your eyes when you grab his face, kissing him.
“Katsuki, it’s okay. It’s our first time. I didn’t expect you to last forever. If anything, it’s a compliment. Just means I’m that good.”
Bakugou internally sighs, the panic swaying away from him.
“…Wanna go again?”
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Vlad was injured by the GIW, and fled through a random experimental portal they had.
He landed outside a smoking warehouse in Ethiopia, next to a dying child.
The kid was beat to hell and back, and worse off than Vlad himself.
There was a clown, ducking into a car, covered in the kids blood.
Vlad, desperate for an outlet for his anger at being stupid enough to be caught by the GIW, immediately turns around and hunts the man down.
By the time he's done with the clown, he's even eaten the man's newly formed ghost, permanently ending the threat.
Which leads to his current predicament; the dying kid is still dying, and he's calmed down enough to know he would feel bad later about letting some random kid die like this.
Luckily, he saw some ninjas while he was killing the clown, and after a short conversation, they agree to take the boy.
Vlad feels accomplished.
After all, what child wouldn't want to be raised by ninjas?
Meanwhile, Jason, delirious from pain and smoke inhalation, thinks he saw Batman murder the Joker and then turn around and sell him to Ra's Al Ghul (Vlad in his ghost form has pointy things on his head, and Jason was so fucked up he thought it was the cowl).
Jason's still fucked up and pissed when he comes back, but for entirely different reasons.
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SO YOU WANT TO GET HIRED IS NOW LIVE ON ITCHIO! :D
This thirty-page guide is specifically written to help you navigate the world of working-class jobs. In it, I break down what to put in your resume (even if you have no experience at all!), how to dress for the interview, how to play the very confusing and nonsensical world of the working-class interview, and what happens after you drag yourself out of the crucible of the interview on your hands and knees.
It's helpful! It's for those of us who want to know how to get hired for something as menial as a food runner! It's not that long, so you don't need to carve out several hours to in-depth research! It's got jokes — and Brian David Gilbert references!
Please reblog to help reach as many people as possible, because sometimes we all need a little help adulting, and I'm here to share what I know with you, no judgment.
(If you want to make sure I am not forced to be victim to website fees, you can always just send me $3 on Ca$h@pp/V3nm0 (deadtower) or P@yp@l (paypal.me/deadtower) and email me at
[email protected] with your username/when you sent the money, and I can send you the PDF that way! Also, if you can't afford it, no worries! Just shoot me an email and I'll send it to you discounted to as low as $1, or for free, depending on your financial situation. I want everyone to have access to the resources they deserve. <3)
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I know Jack and Maddie's relationship in canon is probably MEANT to be seen--depending on the episode--as a pretty bog-standard, 2000s-era "idiot big dad and exasperated, smart wife who puts up with him" trope.
BUT
my personal favorite interpretation is that BOTH are equally genius engineers who are also equally on the autistic spectrum, with a specific hyperfixation on ghosts and mad science.
The main difference is that Maddie has siblings and female social expectations, so she had to learn how to mask in ways that are seen as sociable and polite and attractive and "smart." When she does bumble major social cues (such as not recognizing Vlad's flirting until Danny points it out decades later, or humiliating her kids by showing up in a hazmat suit at school), it feels more "socially acceptable" from her.
She genuinely loves Jack because he could not care less about her being Feminine or Socially Acceptable. He just wants to shout with her about ghosts! So the nanosecond she's around him she can yank the mask off and go chasing spirits with a toaster turned into a machine gun.
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