#I want to be regarded with legitimate priority

[oglegoggle]

Just like, I want to receive

#this is goggles #I want to be useless and lazy and be cared for #I want to be valued when I’m not being productive and motherly and responsible #I want to be loved when I’m pathetic and needy #I want to get back what I put in #I don’t want to always have to beg and grovel for scraps and prove myself worthy of those scraps by being Superman #I want to feel valued for just being #I want to share chores without having to parent them into doing theirs or outright having to do them myself because of their idiocy #I want to share expenses without having to hold their hand through how to write a budget that they ultimately won’t follow and then pay all #the bills myself anyway without any other contributions but increased expenses for their needs #I want to feel safe to express when I am hurting and work on solutions together #I want to be regarded with legitimate priority #I want to be cared for so dearly #I want to get top surgery and not worry about how I’m going to maintain the house and eat meals and manage meds while I recover #I want to be loved like genuinely loved not just when I’m useful or convenient or fun #I want to be loved when it’s hard and I need difficult care

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my second least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

(it's a little less transparent why this time so I'll explain my thoughts under the cut)

So why do I not like this?

In so many words: because if you remove it, the scene still works, but you lose the moral certainty of what is going on.

This single sentence does so much legwork for the entire game (the kind I dislike), to the point where I'm about 60% sure it's the product of a rework that realized how ambiguous Rauru's position was as the Good Rightful King and needed to nervously reassure the players that Ganondorf Is and Always Was the Invader, Actually.

(no matter that it leaves the gerudos in this awkward in-between state of both invaders and victims, while never dwelling in the specifics of their history and their own agency in the entire thing; brushed off as a sin they have to expiate through loyalty to the winners of that particular strife, but without explicitely blaming them either to avoid the implications of what that would have looked like)

If you remove it, not only do you lose a pretty clunky line that detracts from Ganondorf's intimidating presence (who is he even speaking to? who needs to hear this right now?) that honestly speaks for itself when it comes to his experience with warfare, but also you lose any tension and any mystery regarding why he is attacking in the first place.

You also... kind of rob Ganondorf's motivations of their meaning. "Hyrule will bow down before me" leads to asking... why? What does he want? What does he see in those lands? And what little we get with Rauru and then Link during the final fight begs more questions; why do you prefer hardship to peace? Why do you value strength? What leads you to want to rule a land devoid of survivors, become a king without a kingdom? I don't think we ever get satisfactory answers. If you remove this sentence, on the other hand... Subtextually, it becomes pretty clear that his motivations is that he felt threatened by Rauru's power, which is ripe with subtext and questions about whether this is a legitimate reaction, whether his "no survivor" stance is due to a feeling of betrayal when his own people turned against him post the Demon King shenanigans... I'm not saying it would fix the entire game's writing, far from it, but it would already do *so much more*.

(genuinely, I think he could have stayed completely silent during the Molduga Assault, speaking only in the Show of Fealty before going completely nuts after Sonia's murder, and it would have worked MUCH better in terms of characterization but anyway anyway

EDIT: ALSO!!! that way he wouldn't speak hylian to fellow gerudos, which is weird inherently)

Without this line, the core of the tension between the gerudos and Hyrule comes front in his conversation with Rauru; it allows the cause of his hostility to be Rauru's invitations, that he would have taken as a threat, and would have still made him warlike and domineering without making him cartoonishly flat, because, once again, Rauru is not acting in a particularly more legitimate way when Zelda arrives in Ancient Hyrule; and it would have been... fair to point that out. And make for better characterization for Rauru, and Sonia, and Mineru, and everybody. But the priority was for Hyrule to be pictured as unquestionably holy; always legitimate, always truthful, always beautiful, always just.

Also, and this is more of a nitpick but: why would Ganondorf want Hyrule, specifically, to bow down before him also? Was he at war with the rest of the disparate tribes before, and just carried on his ambitions to the very very newly-founded kingdom as they allied under a new banner? (though it seems to be implies the lands were crawling under monsters in a generic sense, and not Ganondorf's attacks in particular) Why would he even consider Hyrule a legitimate entity worth taking over then, if it is so new, born from the will of a powerful rival, founded by what is basically a stranger to these lands? Why would he covet something so young instead of destroying it and just calling the lands Gerudo Lands II or Grooseland or something?

I don't think any of that was even accounted for, because, beyond everything else: to me, this sentence is so clearly and painfully crammed in here to shield Hyrule from any potential blame and immediately characterize Ganondorf as Bad without having to remove any of the causes that could lead one to side-eye Rauru's little pet project as equally questionable.

Beyond the clumsiness, it is cowardly --and, I think, a little damning.

#totk #totk critical #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #ganondorf #gerudos #rauru #tl:dr it is cowardly and reveals that nintendo knew about the Implications to some degree #sometimes less is more #really in that case less would have been so much more #it is literally ganondorf's first chronological line #yeah sure it tells you everything about the guy but #it's also such a bold commitment to flatness and self-righteousness that... yeah #and before I hear any “at least Rauru wasn't using force” I mean as far as we know though? #the constructs attack anyone deemed an “invader” on sight one of the things rauru does is to apologize for this #(I reread Rauru's initial dialogue in the Sky Islands and it would have been SO GOOD if any ambiguity would have been allowed) #(like the thing about Constructs mindlessly pursuing their useless tasks forever disquieting him...) #(yeah buddy so true that could uhhh almost be a metaphor for something else regarding purpose and lineage or something wow) #and even if he didn't use force directly the power dynamics and repeated invitations are still undeniably questionnable #like my guy why do you want everybody to kneel down to you what's up with that do we unpack this or #at least ganondorf was like.... born and raised a king (not that it excuses anything but he inherited pre-existing traditions) #so did zelda #she was born in an imperfect system and did whatever she could about it #rauru *crowned himself* #he *made* the system

[faejilly]

i absolutely love your sh meta so i was wondering what are your thoughts on Alec’d relationship with his sexuality bc i always sort of read it as him knowing that he was gay but absolutely not saying it out loud

absofuckinglutely nonny

There's an excellent post by amorverus that I cannot find the original of so have my reblog HERE that articulates it really well

I even wrote a fic about it! #shameless self promotion [tumblr / ao3] (That is, in fact, one of my favorite things I've ever written.)

I do strongly believe that Alec knew that he was gay, and felt no shame about that in and of itself. He is not offended by Magnus flirting with him, would not, I think, be offended by anyone else flirting with him, regardless of gender. (Tho prior to Magnus I also think he just... wasn't interested, but that's a separate conversation.) He knew, however, that it was not allowed in his culture and it would hurt his family and not just him if it came out.

(This is why Izzy makes me so uncomfortable in s1 regarding Alec, tbqh, because she lives there too, but refuses to see the danger to herself and, more egregiously in Alec's mind, because obviously she can chose to risk herself for him if she wants, for all he doesn't like it, but she's causing risk for their little brother if Alec is outed, and that's unacceptable. Even if I'm quite sure Max would agree with her priorities.)

I do, however, think Alec felt a lot of shame regarding his attraction to Jace. Jace was hurting and was supposed to be his brother and yet... Alec felt an attraction that he knew Jace wouldn't return. So he's got all the societal pressure on him not to be gay, and all this personal pressure not to manipulate or abuse someone in a vulnerable situation (because Jace was, even if he wouldn't admit it), PLUS all the normal human issues with feeling attraction for someone who is important enough to you that you can't lose them, and you can legitimately be terrified that if you can't get it under control you MIGHT... (Even more so for him than a mundane romantic vs platonic situation, obviously, because there's questions of command and exile and punishment, not just ruining an interpersonal dynamic in a way it never quite recovers from.)

Plus Alec's kind of also Jace's commanding officer which is yet ANOTHER unequal power dynamic, and he's supposed to be protecting an entire Institute, not just this one person, but he can't stop thinking about it because it's fucked up and he knows he should stop and he can't.

(Because, he realizes with the benefit of hindsight after he meets Magnus, by fixating on Jace he was safe, he was never going to fall in love for real with someone he might have a chance with, would never have to actually choose between his culture and his personal desires, while still telling himself that he already had, that he'd chosen his family and it was fine, he was FINE.

(He was so not fine.))

And so, even though he truly believes there's nothing wrong with being gay in general, he does believes there is something Very Wrong with him specifically being gay.

But he still never has any doubt about it. He never tries to project heterosexual interest in anyone, is very up front with Lydia about the terms of their engagement. (It seems clear, even if we never see that conversation, that they're both aware that their marriage would never be romantic or sexual unless they mutually decided to go the so-called traditional route for children.) And she agreed to it! She, unlike Jace & Izzy, had zero illusions about her relationship with Alec, and I ADORE HER FOR THAT.

And I've totally lost the thread of this rambling, I'm not sure I have a conclusion for you? 😅😅😅

Alec is, imo, refreshingly self-aware about most things, and many of his issues are legitimately external stupidity punishing him into a life of self-recrimination rather than him having internal bigotry or biases against his own sexuality in and of itself.

#jilly answers #Anonymous #the saga of #alec lightwood #honor vs duty vs shame #is really his life pre-canon #he throws away the shame tho #and I'm very proud of him for that #shadowhunters #my sh rambling #sh meta #queer as in #fuck you

[yaozongzhupressoffice]

Dear Yao-Zhongzhu, recently a few thing happened and I (43, M) heard some people thought I was in the wrong in my actions despite the fact I personally felt justified in my behavior. Because I know you are an enlightened gentleman such as myself I was interested in your opinion on the matter as it always insightful. See, recently I was celebrating my only son (15, M) birthday, and as I love all of my family dearly, I sparred no effort in making sure that nothing could trouble this celebration. Everything was going well until one of my assistant let me know that there was somebody that was insistently asking to meet me. Despite the fact that it was an impolite request as it was made without taking into account the importance of the celebration that was held today, and since I am nothing but willing to help my people, I decided to go expressly meet this person with the intent of dealing with their request in a swift manner. (It had nothing to do with the fact that my wife (37, F) was in the same room as me when the identity of the person was announced to me and that she looked at me like she wanted to kill me on the spot after hearing that). When I met the person in question (15, M) I was immensely surprised to learn that they were claiming to be my son ! For some mysterious reasons my wife was not as surprised. Because, you know how it is, we all have a few bastards here and here, sometimes it’s one or two, sometimes it’s six or seven, sometimes I’m not sure I can count that high ! But most of the time they don’t show up to your doorstep to your legitimate son birthday party ! My wife was clearly heartbroken by this unpleasant interruption to her dear son birthday party and by this reminder of the various difficulties we had concerning conjugal and private matters in our relationship. Being her husband, I immediately took the matter in my hands and had the unpleasant reminder removed from her sight by having a servant throwing him down the stairs of our humble mansion (barely 200 steps). The critics comes from some representants from another family (I shall not disclose their identity but it start with a L and they like bland food) considered that it was uncalled for and started saying some weird slogans like « do not bully the weak » or « have courtesy and integrity » and complained that he « might have died » (he clearly did not, he walked away after barley one minute of looking dead and he could even bow). I personally feel like it was in the right as my son birthday party and my wife mood were my priority at this moment as a father and husband. But to conclude this matter I wanted your opinion so, dear Yao-Zhongzhu, Am I the Asshole ?

[DRAFT DOCUMENT v.1.2 FOR COMMENT ONLY. NOT FOR RELEASE]

Dear Venerable Anon-zongzhu gongzi [REDACTED BY COUNSEL, contextual information will reveal the identity of the writer]

A thousand thanks and blessings upon you for gracing this humble one's inbox with your question, and please extend my warmest well-wishes to Jin-furen [revise and anonymize--see above]. Of course, of course you wish only to ensure that your wife and heir have the peace of such a special day protected from interlopers, particularly when those interlopers are perpetuating such terrible and UNFOUNDED rumours!!! Furthermore, as we all know by now, the interloper in question was [REDACTED IN WHOLE; see above. zongzhu must endeavour not to include privileged information that will reveal the identity of the writer. please see the attached guidelines regarding how to avoid revealing personally identifiable information in official communications]

Naturally when a man of your elevated station [see above] must balance those oft-opposed ballasts of manhood and respecting your wife, it is inevitable that one must sire a bastard or two. [please see the attached sensitivity training slide deck made available at last year's general discussion conference] Who among us hasn't, after all, haha!! [REDACTED BY COUNSEL, irrelevant to the scope of the inquiry]

No, I will be honest with you, anon-zongzhu gongzi, and will share with you my real and whole opinion on this deeply personal family matter as you have laid it out before us:

[REDACTED IN FULL. zongzhu, call me asap]

#yao zongzhu’s press office

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

With all due respect, I grew up among right-wing people, and none of them have ever held hatred for Judaism, Jews, or Israel. (In fact a lot of them like Israel and ranted that our last three presidents screwed it over) I’ve never even encountered a modern-day nazi in southern USA where they supposedly thrive. Who exactly do you mean when you say right-wingers are antisemitic?

Hi!

You're referring to this post.

Obviously, the outright showcase of antisemitism is more of a far-right / alt-right kind of behavior. The Unite The Right Rally from 2017 is a great and not a particularly subtle example in this regard with all the "Jews will not replace us" chants... Even in the January 6th insurrection, a rebellion meant to reinstall Trump who is supposedly a great ally to Israel, there were people in the crowd literally wearing shirts that say "Camp Auschwitz" on them alongside the usual Nazi memorabilia and iconography.

It's also important to remember that the majority of conspiracy theories, that are much more prevalent within right wing circles, are also mostly at their core antisemitic. Everything dealing with "cabals", "elites" and "lizard people" are usually just euphemisms for Jews. Also, everything about George Soros and dozens other dog-whistles. And sometimes they just blame the Rothschilds for causing wild fires in the US with a space laser...

[By the way, there's an Israeli anthropologist of religion named Adam Klin Oron, who investigated the conspiracy community in Israel, both Jewish and non-Jewish. it is not very big but it does exist. I mean, the paradox of Jewish people believing in antisemitic conspiracy theories is absolutely fascinating, especially the methods they have to adopt to settle this cognitive dissonance. I think he has some papers and maybe lectures in English out there, if your curious about the subject]

But it is important to note that the usage of "elites" in particular as well as of other dog-whistles and antisemitic tropes (like the dual-loyalty) are common even among less extreme sections of the right. In 2018 Kevin McCarthy twitted: "We cannot allow Soros, Steyer, and Bloomberg to BUY this election!”. It's comments like this, refusal to condemn antisemitism from within the party and only when it comes from the left (the same tactic of the left themselves), and other constantly present actions that make it clear that Jews are not in much a priority for the Republican party and more not exactly welcomed.

Now, there's also the whole thing about Evangelicals. They might just be some of the biggest allies of Israel, but they also want all Jews to move there in order to set Armageddon in motion. Seriously. This is an actual thing they believe in and is the only real reason any of them ever does anything for and about Israel and Jews.

Similarly, many other right supporters of Israel have an alternative reason for their support, both in the US and outside of it, especially in Europe which have been at the forefront of massive immigrant and refugee waves from Arab nations in the past decade. This support isn't actually for Israel or Jews - it's just plain hatred for Arabs and Muslims. They sort of view Israel as a double-gift: 1) it concentrates all Jews together, away from them, and 2) Israel is always fighting Arabs, and they hate Arabs, so that's good (a philosophy Netanyahu supports whole hardheartedly, preferring to swallow the antisemitic frog for the support and legitimization of his actions). So while technically many right wing will actively support Israel, the reason is often ironically antisemitic and Islamophobic.

To be clear - this is not about individuals. It never is. It can't be. It's impossible for hundreds of thousands and millions of people to think and act exactly the same. Of course there are many people, both on the left and the right, who are not antisemitic and many people who truly wish to protect Jewish people and Israel's right to exist. But this isn't about individuals, it's about prevalent beliefs and behaviors in movements. And these are unfortunately quite common, in both political parties.

#jewish things #antisemitism

[27-moons]

Highlights from the interview with Ismail Haniyeh, the head of the political bureau of Hamas, with Anadolu Agency - RNN

Regarding Rafah, it is very clear that the zionist enemy has decided to violate every point, place, town, and city in the Gaza Strip, especially since it has been speaking about this for months.

On Rafah, the American stance is deceptive, even when it talks about needing to see plans and not wanting civilians to be harmed—it is a deceitful operation.

All the civilians killed in Gaza, all the thousands of martyrs, were killed by American weapons, American missiles, under American political cover.

When America stands in the Security Council and takes a veto decision, against a ceasefire resolution, what does that mean? It means that America is providing full cover and an umbrella for the continuation of the killing and massacre in Gaza.

What does it mean when America takes a veto decision against recognizing the State of Palestine as a full member of the United Nations? It means that America adopts the "israeli" stance and stands against the rights of the Palestinian people.

Therefore, we have not fallen into this trap and deception and the so-called job swapping between the Americans and the "israelis."

We warn against entering Rafah because this could cause a massive massacre against our Palestinian people.

I call on all brotherly countries in Egypt, our brothers in Turkiye, all directly related countries, our brothers in Qatar as mediators, and the European countries and others to act to curb the aggression and prevent entry into Rafah, and the necessity for a complete withdrawal from the Gaza Strip and ending the aggression on Gaza.

But if the zionist enemy decides to go to Rafah, then our Palestinian people will also not raise the white flag, and the resistance in Rafah is ready to defend itself and to confront this aggression on itself and its people.

Our positions have been clear from the beginning, we want to stop the aggression on our people, this is a priority for us, and for that, we agreed to enter into negotiations provided that these negotiations lead to a permanent ceasefire, to a comprehensive withdrawal, and to the return of all displaced people, reaching a legitimate exchange deal with the zionist enemy.

Despite dozens of sessions and dozens of papers exchanged through mediators, up to this moment, the occupation has not agreed to a ceasefire on Gaza.

All the enemy wants is to get back its prisoners and then resume the war on Gaza, and this cannot be.

The occupation also wants Hamas and the resistance to agree to the deployment maps of the "israeli" army so that they can legitimize the occupation in the Gaza Strip or part of it, which cannot happen, and a complete withdrawal from the Gaza Strip must occur.

The occupation does not want the displaced to return to the north of the Gaza Strip and to their residential areas, and only agrees to their return gradually and in limited numbers, which also cannot be allowed.

The occupation does not want to grant the necessary entitlements for the exchange process and refuses to provide large numbers, wanting to control it, while it continues to detain about 14,000 new prisoners since October 7 from the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

The one obstructing reaching an agreement is the "israeli" occupation, as well as the American administration which adopts and supports the "israeli" vision every time without exerting any pressure on it to respond to the logical and correct demands. When the occupation agrees to these demands, we will be ready to sign the agreement.

Hamas has presented these countries as guarantors for the agreement: Egypt and Qatar, as well as Turkiye, Russia, and the United Nations, alongside the United States of America.

However, every time, the "israelis" refuses to have Turkiye and Russia as part of the guaranteeing countries, and therefore we are committed to this despite the "israeli" refusal.

Since October 7, the occupation has adopted a strategy starting with extensive aerial bombing in Gaza Strip, followed by ground invasion, and the so-called third phase of selective killing, in addition to its use of military and humanitarian siege on Gaza Strip in general. Everything has been destroyed, from hospitals, schools, and universities to infrastructure, bakeries, pharmacies, and pharmaceutical factories. Nothing at all remains.

As a result, Gaza and the north of the Strip have gone more than five months without anything entering, leading the occupation to use starvation as a weapon to break the people’s will and pressure them to migrate from north to south, thereby emptying Gaza and the north and considering them as a security zone or part of the perimeter imposed by the "israeli" authorities.

The future of the resistance in Gaza remains firm and steadfast, resisting and defending our Palestinian people. Since October 7 until now, it has been in a position of strength, presenting something akin to a miracle in both attack and defense, whether that be on October 7 or during the past eight or seven months.

The resistance continues to resist the occupation on all axes, using various methods, with defensive and offensive plans, and has a very high capacity to deal with field conditions and security developments. This resistance has proven to have a strong will, derived after Allah Almighty from the will of our people and the popular cradle in Gaza.

The great popular cradle shows its resilience, steadfastness, dignity, and ability to endure this global and universal war.

The resistance also indicates that it has long prepared for such confrontations and battles, so the resistance on the ground in Gaza is in a position capable of continuing to defend our people, and the zionist enemy will not be able to break this rifle, nor this flag, nor the will of resistance and steadastness.

We also witness ongoing renewed resistance in the West Bank, i.e., confrontations in various areas of the West Bank.

The zionist enemy wanted to isolate Gaza Strip, but in the context of the cohesion between resistance fronts, especially in Lebanon which has become part of this confrontation, there in southern Lebanon and northern Palestine, it is akin to a war between the zionist occupation and the Islamic Resistance in Lebanon and the Palestinian resistance factions.

Similarly, in Yemen, no one imagined or believed that such an action related to the Red Sea and the immense pressure exerted by our brothers on the navigation headed to the entity could have such clear impacts on the "israeli" economy and on the economy of companies and ships dealing with it in one way or another.

The development that has occurred in the confrontation between the Islamic Republic of Iran and the zionist occupation indicates that the scope of confrontation is expanding in the region whether in Lebanon, Iraq, Yemen, Syria, and reaching up to Iran.

All this is linked to the continuation of the aggression and the genocide war on Gaza Strip, and I believe that when the aggression on Gaza stops, these fronts will certainly experience calm.

It is no secret that Iran provides military, financial, and technical support to the resistance in Palestine, a well-known fact for years, and it also has a strategy and policy of continuing this support amidst Al-Aqsa Flood and the aggression on Gaza.

The responsibility for the recent developments, including the bombardment of the Iranian consulate in Damascus, which led to the martyrdom of several Revolutionary Guard leaders, lies with the zionist occupation. This direct attack on sovereignty was expected to elicit a response from Iran, which everyone anticipated would not remain silent.

Perhaps the strategy of strategic patience previously employed by the Islamic Republic of Iran was misinterpreted by the occupation, but everyone expected a response from Iran. The scope and dimensions of this response are for Iran to decide based on what it deems appropriate.

The "israeli" response was contextual, but what does this indicate? It indicates that Netanyahu does not want to stop the war on Gaza; instead, he is seeking to expand it into a regional war, thus also drawing the Americans into becoming a military arm that serves the "israeli" entity by striking this front or that, particularly towards Iran.

We have frequently stated that the zionist enemy, which continues to deny the rights of the Palestinian people and attacks our holy sites, particularly in Al-Quds and the blessed Al-Aqsa Mosque along with other Islamic and Christian holy sites, and continues the genocide war on Gaza Strip, bears the responsibility for this regional tension and heat.

We have called for organizing the Palestinian house on two levels:

The leadership level within the framework of the Palestinian Liberation Organization, to rebuild it to include all Palestinian factions, especially Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and the [Palestinian National] Initiative.

The second level is the formation of a consensus government for the West Bank and Gaza Strip, with three tasks:

1. Supervising reconstruction.

2. Unifying institutions in the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

3. Preparing for general elections: presidential, legislative, and the Palestinian National Council.

We see that Gaza is part of the Palestinian homeland, and the formation of a national consensus government for Gaza and the West Bank will certainly be responsible for overseeing Gaza and its administration after the end of the war.

Various alternatives have been proposed, such as the presence of an Arab force, named by some countries; we have clearly stated: we welcome any Arab or Islamic force if its mission is to support our Palestinian people and assist them in liberating from the "israeli" occupation. However, if an Arab or even international force comes, whatever the country, to provide protection for the "israeli" entity, it is certainly rejected.

Alternatives have been proposed, but they are impractical and unlikely to succeed.

The administration of Gaza Strip is conducted by Palestinian will, by the will of the Palestinian people. Hamas is not clinging to representation alone as some claim and say, but we are part of the Palestinian people, and on the basis of partnership, we can build a national unity government.

We can agree on the management of Gaza Strip, and these are purely Palestinian issues. It is not right nor permissible for us to allow the "israeli" occupation or others to interfere in arranging the Palestinian situation or in managing Palestinian internal affairs in Gaza or the West Bank, or in both.

#palestine #israel

[dolphin1812]

We’re back to Jean Valjean!

I love how we’ve very clearly left the abstract and/or Gothic feeling of the last two sections and are now dealing with concrete matters: how to get Valjean in this convent legitimately. It suits the abrupt return to the “plot” by grounding us in easy-to-follow details, while also refreshing us on the characters’ priorities. Cosette is a child and just wants to sleep (which she does!). Valjean wants safety. Fauchelevent has no idea what’s going on, but he’s committed to helping. It’s such an efficient way of reminding us where everyone stands after a digression.

I also love this detail:

“Fauchelevent, who, like many of our peasants of the North, had an old fund of Bonapartism about him.”

If Madeleine’s reveal at the trial was more harmful to him because he was suspected of Bonapartism, it’s only fair that that same suspicion helps him in the future, I guess? I know Valjean is linked to Napoleon by chronology, but I think it’s hilarious that people thinking he’s a Bonapartist when he’s really dealing with completely different matters has such a large impact on his life.

This section was touching as well:

“After what he did for me, would I save him if he were a thief? Just the same. If he were an assassin, would I save him? Just the same. Since he is a saint, shall I save him? Just the same.”

Fauchelevent doesn’t know the true significance of this thought because he doesn’t know Valjean’s past, but this makes him the fourth person who we know wouldn’t treat him differently because of his history (the bishop, Madeleine’s portress, and Sister Simplice). He and the latter two all feel this way because of what Valjean did as Madeleine, confirming to them that he’s “good” in a way that overrides his criminal past. While Valjean’s experience illustrates how faulty “crime” itself is as a category (is stealing to survive really comparable to the severity of his punishment?), their acceptance of him both highlights a willingness to make exceptions for those who are "good" and a general flexibility regarding societal expectations as a whole. Of course, only making exceptions for the "good" is harmful, but it's significant when Valjean is so afraid of being found out that he consigns himself to absolute secrecy and lets no one get close to him.

Valjean himself is consistent in the best way possible here. Of course, he's terrified by what could happen to him, fearing that Javert will catch him if he leaves and that the nuns will if he stays, but Cosette is still a priority in his plans. When he hears that there are girls at the convent, Fauchelevent points out that they might expose him; however, Valjean's first thought is that the convent could educate Cosette, making it the ideal place to hide with her.

Cosette being smuggled out in a basket is such a great image, too, it sounds so cute.

#les mis letters #lm 2.8.1 #jean valjean #cosette #fauchelevent

[crystallizedday]

Mkay so

I don’t have any images for this

But imma still try to make this an entertaining read like the last analytical essay thing I did.

Except this one isn’t an essay.

My brain just REALLY wants to see the Ink Demon cry.

Badly.

Anyway

Bendy and the Dark Revival: Immortals AU, or maybe I’ll pick another less cheesy title, I don’t know, I’ve literally never done this before…

Okie.

So

Right off the bat, I will need to steer away from canon for a wee bit & not only make the Ink Demon willing to be helped with his MULTITUDE of issues, but also make Audrey willing to help him out. Going by these adjustments, the Ink Demon, being offered kindness in his real form for the first time like EVER, would feel comfortable enough trusting Audrey & her plan to try & help him move past all the shit Joey (as well as Wilson & the Keepers & stuff) has done to him.

Audrey then takes the Ink Demon AS HE IS (no smol Bendy form, I’ll explain why later) to the real world so he can detach himself of both the “kingdom” he used to have under his thumb & the prison that was the cycle (since I’m sure even HE hates being stuck there to an extent, even if only a little bit).

Audrey’s priority is to help Inky adjust to a new lifestyle of being more casual & curious, probably achieving the first stages of this through telling & maybe even showing Inky how much the world has changed since the 30’s & 40’s & such. Being treated like a genuine human being also helps tremendously in that regard.

Audrey still is in control of the cycle like in the end of the game, but now she has Inky with her, who is ever so slowly adjusting to the fascinating world of color & atmosphere.

Hell, I’m sure my guy would mentally just shut down after seeing a rainbow in person for the first time.

Like… he lived most of his life in black & yellow, so all of THIS would be MIND BLOWING to him, perhaps even overwhelming at some points.

The mental image of him experiencing GENUINE rain for the first time & being in utter awe at it makes my heart ache & I love it…

Now

The main emotional point of this AU that I need to address before proceeding any further:

This Ink Demon isn’t happy being “Bendy”.

Why?

My poor guy was literally BORN to be a mascot, to be a living face for Joey Drew Studios, & when he couldn’t live up to it with how he came out, he was locked away for it.

He still has SOME attachment to his character considering destroying his cutouts in the og game’s chapter 3 pisses him off, but to Audrey, it seemed like a bad idea playing into the association, especially since those very expectations landed Inky in this mess in the first place.

He can still accept the idea that he was spawned from the IDEA of Bendy, but he’s NOT Bendy. He’s something else, something far more unique than what he was intended to be, and thus begins carving out a new identity for himself, making himself more & more independent from his intended character.

This is mainly for this AU, but if any of y’all wanna play into this idea outside of it, feel free to!

Anyway, let’s get to the section where that “immortal” part of the AU name starts to make sense.

Due to both of them being made of ink (& due to biology shenanigans on Audrey’s part cause I’m not sure how aging works for her so I’m just saying fuck it), they last MUCH longer than the average human, living through SEVERAL different decades & experiencing MANY different generations come & go, always having to adapt to each new coming generation.

Over time, Audrey becomes a little worn down (probably because of her legitimately aging slowly while Inky just doesn’t at all) while Inky becomes more & more explorative & experimental, the two of them still looking out for each other regardless.

I’ve had a few one-off funny ideas for this particular part of the AU, like the classic “kids mess with ball & it crashes through neighbor’s window” trope (or at least I assume it’s a trope) where one of the tiny itty bitty kids has to walk up to the door, knock, & ask politely for their ball back. Only, instead of the nice young-old lady answering, it’s this hulking figure of pure blackness & a terrifying set of teeth, holding the ball in his hand & being like…

“Is this your ball?”

“… Yeah?”

“& that house over there… is that yours?”

“Uh huh…?”

& then Inky, being a petty lil shit, just yeets the fuckin thing at the house.

“There. Now we’re even.”

& just slams the door in the kid’s face.

I’ve also had the idea of either people mistaking him as a cosplayer or GENUINELY being fascinated with him & his look & he’s just internally sobbing with all the positive attention he’s getting because, like I said before, I WANT TO MAKE HIM CRY!!

& uh…

Speaking of Inky crying…

One last random idea I’ve had for this AU thing is Inky meeting THE REAL HENRY STEIN for the first time.

Maybe this could be soon after Inky gets out of the cycle & meets old man Henry who, while appalled over what Joey has done behind closed doors, is incredibly kind to Inky & gives the big guy some closure with at least ONE of his “fathers” accepting his existence…

Or…

If Inky can’t see Henry before he passes…

Inky begins visiting Henry’s grave annually to leave various things for him, a little frustrated at himself for not having the guts to talk to Henry sooner.

He’ll also occasionally leave stuff for Linda as well because I said so & I want to make you all cry with the thought of Inky starting to care for the person Inky can somewhat consider his mother in a sense, even if he doesn’t even know what she looks like & only knows of her gravestone.

OKAY

It’s currently 1 in the morning & I’m all out of brain juice.

I know there’s not much cohesiveness to this post, but I do not care, I just want to get my idea out there in some form, even if they’re more so bits & pieces of ideas rather than something with much of a backbone (at least with the “immortals” part of the whole shtick). I just… really like these ideas.

I still enjoy canon asshole Inky more so than “redeemed” Inky & such, but…

I enjoy making myself feel emotional damage, aka I’m a sap for making myself cry in one way or another in the most BRUTAL ways possible.

So imma indulge myself just this once.

So uh

Yeah.

Imma go get some sleep now.

Hope y’all enjoyed this roller coaster of what goes on in my brain in a nutshell!

#batdr #bendy and the dark revival #bendy and the dark revival spoilers #batdr spoilers #ink demon #the ink demon #ink bendy #bendy #audrey drew #audrey #batdr audrey #joey drew #henry stein #batim henry #batdr au #batim au #au #day’s late night rambles #cause trust me #this entire post is just one big ramble #head empty yet many thoughts

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I hope you are well. I'm an INFJ with "problems" with an ISFJ friend. Our friendship dates back to school, but currently my contact with her is basically zero. On rare occasions someone from our group of friends proposes that we meet to talk and hang out, or she will do it herself and invite the people over to her house. So far so good.

My problem is dealing with the fact that she doesn't message me or other people (my friends complain that she takes a long time to respond or doesn't respond at all). However, for some reason, she seems to value messaging contact with her best friend and other friends much more, often posting snippets of messages with them in her status. Why doesn't she do the same to me? Why does she not even see my messages? She does not mind?

I've read other posts from other INFJs with similar issues regarding expectations in friendships and maintaining relationships. I worry a lot because she is someone I care about a lot, I spent a lot of time with her in the past during a difficult time when she struggled with depression.

I went to great lengths to understand her and now I feel like I'm just another person on her contact list waiting for a reaction. It seems to me that I'm not a priority for her and that upset me to the point of muting her status posts and thinking about muting her or even blocking her. What do you think of this situation? Am I too unreasonable to expect a little attention from her?

---------------------

Generally speaking, to determine whether an expectation is un/reasonable, start with this question:

Is the person aware of my expectations?

It is unfair to blame people for not meeting an expectation they had no knowledge of. For example, let's say my wrist is sprained and I'm unable to open heavy doors on my own. Shall I go around simply expecting everyone to open doors for me everywhere I go and then jumping to the conclusion that they are selfish or callous when they don't? If I'm not wearing any cast or brace, how are they to know I need the help and accommodation?

Any time an "expectation" is couched in blame or judgmentalness, you are making the problem worse. You call it an expectation but what you actually have is an unmet need. What's the difference?

When you frame the problem in terms of your needs, you're taking responsibility for fulfilling them. Whether someone is capable of meeting your needs or not isn't the main issue because, when you are fully responsible for your needs, you also recognize that there are a variety of options for getting them met. This keeps relationships open to communication, negotiation, compromise, and new possibilities.

When you frame the problem in terms of your expectations, you're making other people responsible for meeting your needs. Whether they are capable of meeting your needs becomes a matter of serious contention because you believe it is their duty and, thus, you judge them as a moral failure when they are in dereliction of duty. This stifles the relationship because you are basically placing demands on people to be what you want, do what you want, and change into what you want.

Inequality in relationships is a legitimate problem, but how you approach the problem is very important in determining whether it gets resolved properly. It's reasonable to want an equal relationship and it's reasonable to feel frustrated about inequality. You hope that people can attend to your needs as kindly as you attend to theirs. When you're not getting enough reciprocal care and kindness to make the relationship feel equal, the onus is on you to speak up and advocate for yourself. Next question:

How well did I communicate my needs and wants?

Examples: When you contacted her, did you let her know that you wanted a timely response? You said you did a lot to support her in the past, did you also ask her for support whenever you needed it?

Remember that different people need different things out of a relationship, so you shouldn't expect people to "just know" what you need, as though they can read your mind. And you shouldn't automatically assume the worst when they aren't able to meet your needs. For example, you don't yet know the real reason behind her distance, do you? It could have nothing to do with you personally.

The fact that you're feeling resentful means you're making assumptions about her intentions or motivations. Are you a mindreader? Do you believe your resentment is justified because she's treating you badly on purpose? Making assumptions, aka "mindreading", is very destructive to relationships because it causes unnecessary misunderstanding and perpetuates hurtful blame games. Get the facts before you make judgments and draw conclusions.

If someone is aware of your need and understands the importance of meeting it for the health of the relationship, but they still decide against it, only then do you have legitimate cause for concern or doubt about their commitment to the relationship. At that point, there has to be an honest conversation about what kind of relationship you both want, whether there is agreement about direction, whether there is a compromise to be made, etc. Good communication can resolve the majority of relationship problems.

Reflect on what you need from her in order to feel that the relationship is equal. Communicate with her about your needs and hopes for the relationship and try to reach an agreement about how to proceed. Communicate with her to get the facts behind why she hasn't been contacting you very much or doesn't respond quickly to your messages.

If she gives you hard undeniable evidence that she is not as committed to the relationship as you (i.e. she doesn't consider you a "best" or "close" friend and never will), then the onus is on you to scale back the amount you give in order to match up better with her amount, thus making the relationship more equal, though not in the way you had hoped for. Then, look elsewhere to fulfill your needs.

It's natural for long term relationships to ebb and flow throughout the years, as people evolve, so timing is an important factor to consider as well. The attempt to save a relationship that's important to you shows your loyalty, devotion, and commitment. In that respect, you have nothing to feel bad or sorry for. You're a good friend. However, keep in mind that some relationships have an expiry date. You can only revive a distant or ailing relationship when both parties are equally committed to it.

#infj #infj relationships #expectations #needs #blame #communication #relationships #ask

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

The latest chapter fully has made me lose my brain. You were right the Job and Daisy buddy cop jamboree IS the best. And that conversation between Tim and Jon?? Man. So much going on and so much going on just beneath the surface. Love the way Tim guilty thinks back to what Elias said about everyone using Jon, and love the way that is kinda what he's doing. Also love the way he *knows* something awful has happened but he doesn't want to dig into it because he doesn't want to risk pulling someone aboard Danny and his already sinking lifeboat. He can't afford to care. SO fascinating.

Also unrelated but were there a way to anonymously send you fanart (to prevent the off chance of someone I know irl finding my blog lol) you would be swimming in fanart. Because hoo-boy. Anyways love the chapter!!

Ahh thank you for your kind words!

Legitimately i cannot put into words how much fun i find the daisy and jon buddy cop jamboree. they're both so insane and chaotic. I have so many Shenanigans in my head that the two of them have committed over the years of their partnership that will probably never make it into nhthcth on account of it not being relevant to the plot. they're just such a fun dynamic. jon won't stop buying daisy stuff for her home renovations on elias's personal credit card. she's like 10-15 years older than him and they do everything together. sometimes that's killing the eldritch manifestation of violence and sometimes that's bottomless mimosa brunch billed directly to peter lukas. daisy went from violently fucking hating this guy to spending almost every single day with him and going on multiple vacations with him and no one understands why. they're so funny to me. I want them to have a wwdits style tv crew following them around at all times.

See i LOVE tim as a character because he's a genuinely good guy but he's also not without his own limitations and he has been shown to have like, an ability to recognize and accept when he can't change something.

Tim's instinct is to help. Like, he went back for Jon and Martin and literally carried Jon through the Jane Prentiss attack. At the Unknowing, when they were planting explosives, he was trying to convince everyone to let him try to save the victims of the ritual that were still alive. He's really, genuinely good, and he wouldn't have been like those people in the Institute who turned a blind eye to Jon growing up because he was worried about his job.

But he also has limits. Like, season 3, his anger overrode basically everything else, and when Sasha disappeared after the Season 2 finale, he wasn't trying to find her. Martin was sitting there begging Daisy to bring her home safe, and Tim, who was shown to be closer with her than anyone, had already given into a grim acceptance that she was dead and there was nothing to be done.

It was the same thing with Helen--when Martin and Tim were wandering Michael's corridors, they saw Helen trapped inside. Martin kept insisting that they should have helped her, and Tim completely shut it down, because he had this very bitter understanding that they couldn't help her, so stop thinking about it and stop talking about it. He didn't fight it; he accepted it; he did not try because of it.

Tim's a good person, but he's distinct from some others in the cast by the fact that 1) he will look at the practical realities they're living in and (bitterly) accept them, and 2) he's got some things that will override and take priority when he makes decisions.

Danny is and always will be the number one override for him. Like, we get so little on them in canon, but what happened to Danny seems to haunt Tim right to the end. Tim upended his entire life trying to find the thing that killed his brother. When we get the Statement on what happened, we find out that Tim is still searching all these years later, even if he did get a bit comfortable and complacent over time. Like, he can cite offhand the last statement given regarding a circus. He's still pulling all the books on Circuses. He never let go of what happened to his brother, even though he accepted (for lack of a better term) what happened to Sasha before he knew what happened to her and before she was declared dead. Danny had been gone for years by the finale, but Tim went to his death so he could kill the thing that took him away.

So Tim in nhthcth is in this huge phase of major internal conflict right now, because every single one of his major pillars of decision-making are in conflict.

Danny's his ultimate override. He's the thing that makes Tim not give a shit about anything else--everything has to fall away to Danny making through this alive. Unlike Tim in canon, he actually has a chance to save Danny. Canon Tim was willing to die over his brother's fate--a Tim that has a chance to save his brother will go so much farther.

But he's still someone who is able to clock when something's completely and utterly fucked. And Tim is the best situated out of everyone in the cast save Jon to understand how dire these circumstances actually are.

Danny's in little brother baby jail. He's spending all day trying to wriggle information out of Mike because Tim's pitching a bitch fit every time he tries to leave the apartment, and Jon doesn't even want Tim there, let alone Danny. He's playing Uno with Mike and trying to subtly slide in "hahah hey for the sake of conversation do you happen know of any like. evil contract breaking powers." He's trapped in that John Mulaney bit of eating triscuits and asking someone if they had ever seen a ghost. Thoughts and prayers for Danny.

Martin and Sasha's priorities are different from Tim, and the information they're looking at is different. Sasha, especially--she's chasing the contract, not the circus, and she's in such a state of paranoia that she's trying to rely on information that comes from her, not anyone else. She's not been exploring the Statements or been learning about the supernatural world the way he has.

For the most part, this happened off camera, so to speak, but it's been discussed multiple times that Tim's been tearing through everything that he thinks can help him understand what's going on and how to stop the thing after his brother. He's going through the library, he's reading all the Statements he can. He's been trying to get practical experience via tagging along with Jon, which keeps getting stymied, so he goes back to the library and the Statements.

Which means he goes to the Archives every day and struggles against the dawning realization that what they're trying to do just does not happen. He reads the Statements, and people either die, or they are let go, or they become the monster themselves. Options one, two, and three. And the vast majority are people who die horrible fucking deaths--or, worse, don't get the mercy of death. He has been spending every day desperately trying to find a Statement of normal schmucks like him and his brother beating something determined to finish their meal and going back to their normal lives, and they just aren't there.

Tim in Season 2 and 3 most consistently displayed an understanding that the supernatural was not something they could beat. People just get eaten by monsters, and that's their lives now. Nhthcth Tim has been getting that same horrible, dawning certainty of "This is a fight I have no chances of winning" with the immediate follow up of "But it's Danny. I have to."

Which makes him painfully conscious of the fact that he cannot afford to be a good person right now.

Because the thing is? Danny should have died in the theatre, as far as he's aware, and Tim knows it. He should have never even made it home that night. You don't get out on your own--these things let you go. Even if he somehow made it out on his own, Breekon & Hope should have been able to drag him back easily. He should already be dead. Tim knows it with a devastating certainty.

And he also knows that the only reason why he isn't is because Jon has been paying the cost of keeping him alive.

Danny getting out of that theatre cost him his skin. Mike protecting him? Cost Jon a food source, and apparently is going to probably get him tossed off a building down the line. Getting Elias as a backstop ended with Jon having to start taking live statements again and letting assistants down. Hell, Jon has to fucking escort him to and from Mike's every single day, because Tim may just get picked up by Breekon & Hope if he doesn't.

Tim's painfully aware that Jon’s well-being and Danny’s have a negative correlation right now. He is so uncomfortably aware that he's borderline sacrificing Jon's wellbeing for his brother's, and he's accepted that basically using Jon is the only way he has of getting Danny through this alive. It goes against his nature, he's a good person who doesn't want to hurt someone else for his own benefit, but he'll keep doing it for Danny.

And he knows that's going to be a lot harder to do if he gets to know Jon.

Out of all of the assistants, Tim actually has some of the greatest suspicions of how deeply wrong things are. Like, Martin saw how bad Jon got as a kid, but Tim’s been exclusively privy to Elias’s manipulative bullshit in a way the other two haven’t. He never got fed the lie of Jon being Elias's spoiled and beloved ward. His first introduction to this mess was Jon saving their asses several times over, and it has been nonstop red flags since then. One of the first thing that Jon tells him is that he hates being called Jonathan, and it's all Elias calls him. Jon turned into a nervous, frantic mess at the idea of assistants, and Elias has been trying to force it for years. He was sarcastic in the face of clown death, but actively scared at the possibility of Elias coming down. Jon cannot be reminded that man exists without launching into insults so creative that Tim almost feels like he should write them down for reference.

Tim spends more time with Jon than anyone out of the cast. He’s walking to and from work with him every day, spending time with him at mikes and at the archives, and the way Jon behaves fucking terrifies him. Both in a “your life is a spooky nightmare” kind of way and in a “you act like the aftermath of a tragedy” kind of way. He knows somethings deeply fucking wrong with Jon.

And he’s also genuinely honest about liking Jon. He doesn't like him the way Danny does, per se. Jon simply enchants Danny. Danny wants this man in his life forever. He wants to be roommates with him. He wants to go on a roadtrip with him. He is the world's most interesting man to Danny and Danny has never wanted to be best friends with someone so badly in his life. He's hilarious, a good person, and every single thing that comes out of his mouth is the absolute fucking wildest thing he has ever heard in his life. They fucking booked it from a monster clown together through a nightmare eldritch theatre together, which is the start of an epic friendship if Danny has ever heard one.

Jon’s a big “if only” to tim. Jon’s funny and kind and they get on great. Tim thinks that if they had met and Jon had just been Danny’s friend that he dragged home with him, he’d love being this guys pseudo older brother or something. But he’s clocked the situation, he’s figured out that Jon’s world is not something you can stay just out of the sightline of. It’s cut all ties or be eaten. So Tim’s already read the writing on the wall, made the mental calculation, and realized at the end of this, if they get out, he’s going to have to look the guy who saved their asses at his own expense in the eye and tell him they’re abandoning him forever. Thanks for the rescue that was costly to you in unspeakable ways, please never contact us ever again.

Tim needs Danny out, alive, and everything he’s seen and read has led him to a not unreasonable understanding that that’s going to require using and abandoning Jon as an absolute best case scenario. That’s weighs unbearably heavy on his conscious when Jon’s someone he likes and is actively worried about. If he knew the truth? It would be impossible.

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

9, 16, 17, 18 24, 46 and 58.

9. Ukraine

i've been pretty neutral on the matter since the war, sympathizing with both sides of the conflict. however, lately my sympathy for ukraine has been rapidly drying up. i don't appreciate their sense of entitlement (or at least that of their government) and i don't appreciate how they don't seem to care about dragging america into a war where americans would surely die. i don't think a single american should have to die for ukraine. especially after today where they're calling for nato (america) to preemptively attack russia. fucking insanity.

but either way, i still maintain america should be neutral. i think we've gone above and beyond our obligation with regard to "security assurances" and we should leave them to their fate. i really don't care either way. they aren't our problem. america has no interests there. maybe if they beg us to annex them i will reconsider.

i believe in a more schmittian international order. with the world being divided into regional hegemonies. i think ukraine, being right on the border of russia, falls pretty square into russia's sphere of influence, not america's. i have more complicated thoughts on the matter but this is the gist of my feelings right now.

16. Joe Biden

i don't like him. i think he's a senile puppet. i think he's an embarrassment.

17. Non-fungible tokens

i'm not super educated on the subject but from what little i do know i think it could potentially have some interesting applications but, unfortunately, right now it mostly seems to be used for grifting.

18. Taiwan's status

i not only view them as independent but also believe they have the legitimate claim to rule the nation of china.

i do take issue with their drifting too far from their original ideals and i recognize the complexities of their own self-identity. i'm just saying. if they wanted to take over china i'd support it.

i'm only half-memeing. i really do believe that but i understand it's not realistic. so /realistically/ i just view taiwan as /de facto/ an independent country. i think right now the us has some legitimate interests here and so i would be more open to intervention in defense of taiwan vs ukraine, for example.

24. Space colonization

very big advocate for space colonization. i think it should be one of america's top priorities right now, and thankfully it seems to be climbing back up the list. seriously i'm /very/ pro-space colonization. i want to colonize the moon, mars, mine asteroids, build space elevators, etc. i want to do it all as soon as possible. i have talked about this elsewhere but not only do i think it has all kinds of tangible, pragmatic benefits (assuring post-scarcity) but i also view it as a sacred duty, for reasons i've elaborated upon elsewhere.

46. Transhumanism

i have mixed feelings about this. for me, it really depends on a lot of factors. i'm generally in favor of using technology to /improve/ the human condition /within reason/. i tend to oppose when it goes to far, especially when it starts reaching the point of altering the /nature/ of the human condition. as always, i believe any new technology should be handled wisely and with great caution.

so yeah. i'm ambivalent. pro and anti depending on the specific technology and its intended goal.

58. Universal healthcare

highly support it. i think this should be another priority for america. i'm a very proud american but i think america's lack of universal healthcare when so many other western countries have it is a mark of shame.

[ploffskinpluffskin]

Title: voracity

Rating: Gish probably

Characters: Baron, Muta, Cat King, Natori, Haru, Toto, Natoru

Summary: When the normally idyllic and sleepy Cat Kingdom is subjected to a number of strange sightings and near attacks, Baron and Muta of the Cat Bureau are invited in to investigate the subject at the top of the Cat Kingdom’s list of suspects— a human teenager who has somehow stumbled into the place. But when her name is cleared with little fanfare, the real mystery begins.

Notes: Written for the 2022 Birthday Bash, and in particular for the ‘cursed’ prompt. I don’t recall what exactly led me to this idea other than that one tumblr post about werewolves and how some legends say that a loved one speaking their name is enough to break the curse. Otherwise it was just an exercise that basically amounted to me dipping my toe into the AU business. This isn’t actually finished yet, and I’m second-guessing it Hard, but I didn’t spend the last month or so working on it to just not post it!

Like the last time I posted something unfinished, missing parts are explained. If I ever finish it in its entirety, it’ll be posted to AO3 more than likely

+++

The illustrious Cat Kingdom is much more of a Cat Hamlet than its grande and overly charitable name might have one believe. At least, that’s what Muta finds himself thinking as they trundle down the dirt and gravel path to the castle which looms over the surrounding hillsides. Why they have a castle and yet not a legitimate town or city surrounding it he supposes can simply be chalked up to skewed priorities. They are cats, after all.

He might even grudgingly agree on some level that building a castle is likely to be much more interesting than putting a town together. 

He and his colleague (another charitable term) had been called to deal with a potential ‘werewolf.’ Muta’s first instinct had been to laugh and utter a not entirely kind quip about the intellect of cats as a general whole, a quip which Baron had quite concisely and brutally sucked the fun out of by pointing out that Muta himself was, in fact, a cat.

Muta finds himself even now still nursing a small grudge over that.

“This is a waste of time,” he starts now. “You an’ I both know there’s no such thing as werewolves.”

“Do we?”

It’s only the withering glare Muta directs at him that gets Baron to smile apologetically and respond otherwise.

“It’s unlikely, yes, Muta. But according to the vast majority of humans, there’s no such thing as a Cat Kingdom, either.”

“Yeah, well, humans aren’t the brightest, either.”

“Still. It may prove to be wise to see what’s going on with this particular stray human. If nothing else, then to ensure they don’t come to any harm by admittedly well-intentioned cats.”

“Aw, we wouldn’t hurt her,” interjects the voice of their escort— a little tan cat with what seems to be an ever-present, sunny smile.

Muta’s glare is turned now to her. “Listening in on private conversations, uh?”

“I wanted to know!” The escort admits readily. “You can’t go around whispering in the Cat Kingdom and not expect to attract some curiosity.”

“Curiosity killed the cat, and so on, I suppose.”

“And satisfaction brought it back,” the escort agrees with a nod. Then, “Is it true, though? Are werewolves really just a fantasy?”

“Yes,” Baron says. “At least, as far as my knowledge goes.”

Their escort waddles a little further out ahead of them, paws joined behind her back now.

“Boy, Natori’s gonna be pretty embarrassed when he hears that.”

+++

Natori, despite the similar name, is a quite disparate sight beside his apparent coworker, being not only a tall and thin cat but prim as an aged governess as well.

He greets them shortly after they enter the castle doors, expression trained into one of aloof formality, and regards their escort, who seems to be struggling not to spill the beans on the apparent embarrassment coming his way, with no small amount of disapproval as she smiles innocently at him. 

To Baron, it’s rather evident the two have worked together for some time.

“Just this way, gentlemen. I’m afraid it’s a relatively lengthy journey.”

The human they’re led to is no more than a teenager. Her chocolate brown hair is tied back into a ponytail which at one point must have been rather neat and tidy but now sits upon her head in loose straggles due to her short (but no doubt trying) confinement. When she sees them all approach her cramped cell, her hopeful expression drops, and the exasperation in her voice can not be ignored.

“Oh, not more cats,” she starts. “You said you were bringing in a human expert.” 

“Yes,” Natori responds with no small amount of perplexity, glancing back to survey his new companions. “These two are experts on humans.”

Here the teen hesitates for only a second before putting her face in her hands.

“...That’s on me, I guess.” Then, with more vigor, “I’ve already told you all I don’t even know how many times that I don’t know what you’re talking about! Before today, I didn’t even know cats could talk, much less that they had a whole kingdom to themselves..!”

Baron looks to Muta, who quite pointedly looks away.

“What is your name?” The ginger cat then eventually asks their human companion.

“Haru,” she answers with a good deal of caution.

Baron inclines his head politely and continues. “If you don’t mind speaking with me, Miss Haru, how exactly did you arrive here? From what I understand, it’s something of a rarity for humans like yourself to appear here. Isn’t that right?”

Here he turns to regard Natori behind them, who quickly nods in agreement.

“Yes, you’re correct! It is quite rare, particularly for us to entertain a human who has already aged out of childhood.”

“I’m not that old,” Haru mumbles. “And I don’t know how I got here, exactly— I was just walking home from school like normal, and the next thing I know I’m surrounded by cats all accusing me of being some weird monster.”

“You don’t remember anything in between that?”

“Well… yes, but it’s a little hazy and confusing.”

“That’s understandable. You’ve learned a lot of strange things in a quite short amount of time, Miss Haru. Just try your best.” 

Haru seems heartened, and starts, “Like I said, I was walking home from school like I usually do. My best friend, Hiromi, usually walks with me, too, but she was on cleanup duty after school today, and she couldn’t get me to take her place for her. So she can be there to support Tsuge, fine, but I’m not letting her bribe me into it willy-nilly.” 

Then, continuing in a more chastened sort of manner, as if concerned she’d overshared, “...Um, but, anyway— don’t think I’m a bad friend, okay? I usually do all kinds of things for her, really I do. She’s my best friend.”

“Of course,” Baron agrees, sympathetic.

“Well, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, just a little shadow or something. It had me curious, so I followed where I thought I’d seen it— down an alley. I don’t… um, I don’t understand how it happened, exactly, but I swear it seems like I just turned a corner somewhere and suddenly there were cattails and grassy hills everywhere.”

“Does that sound feasible to you, Mr. Natori?”

Natori seems reluctant to answer. “...Well. Yes, there are actually countless, ah, gaps in the boundary between our world and hers, you might say. It’s not at all unlikely she might have accidentally passed through one without realizing it.”

“I see.” 

“What do you think, then?” Natori asks under his breath.

“...I do regret being the bearer of unfortunate news, but the creature you’re thinking of— this ‘werewolf’, is merely a product of fiction in the human world,” Baron begins gently, looking from Haru to the other cat. “While her presence in your kingdom is admittedly unusual, I don’t believe she is your monster.”

The way Natori’s expression falls is almost comical— a mixture of disappointment, surprise, and embarrassment, much as Natoru had predicted. When he speaks, however, it’s with the same composed formality he’s exhibited thus far.

“Ah, I see.” Then, after another reluctant pause, “As the, ah, expert on humans in this case, what do you propose we do with her, then? Is it prudent to simply send her back to her home? Will she find her way back here in a vengeful haze..? I imagine it might be wise to offer our sincerest apologies and a gift basket as consolation, at least.”

“I’m not certain the gift basket is necessary, but I imagine an apology shall be quite appreciated,” Baron whispers back. Then, aloud, he adds, “However, yes, there is likely to be no harm in sending her back to her home.”

“Oh!” Haru says upon hearing that, her hands clasped in relief. “You ended up being my knight in shining armor after all..! I was so scared I’d be stuck here forever!”

“We wouldn’t have kept you forever,” Natoru says. “Eventually we would have shot you with a silver bullet or something.”

Beside her, Natori appears to struggle through a silent test of faith, but ultimately seems to see fit to say nothing to offset his shorter coworker’s blunt claim, much to Haru’s dismay. Instead, he clears his throat and addresses her directly as Natoru flips through the heavy key ring at the door.

“On behalf of the esteemed Cat Kingdom, I offer our most sincere apologies. I’m afraid you came upon our dominion at a quite trying, inopportune time.”

“You know, if any of you had just said werewolf, I would have understood. I could have told you myself those don’t actually exist,” Haru says plaintively, but her laments don't last, not when she hears the door to the cell clinking open. It takes a little bit of maneuvering, but she manages to crawl through the exit, standing slightly hunched against the higher ceiling outside the cell. For the first time, Muta finds himself wondering how a bunch of cats had even managed to get her in there in the first place.

“Even so, it’s doubtful they would have taken your word for it,” Baron tries to reassure her. Natori coughs.

“Well… thank you, anyway,” she says, tucking a stray hair behind her ear self-consciously.

“Think nothing of it.” Then, “By the by, Miss Haru, you said you saw something out of the corner of your eye and that it led you here.”

“Yes.”

“Do you happen to recall what it was? Any particularly strange features, anything that stuck out to you?”

“It was small, but not as small as a cat. I think maybe that’s why it caught my attention. I thought someone had maybe lost their dog. Sorry, I wish I could remember more.”

“That’s quite alright.” Then, to Natori, “If you don’t mind, my colleague and I would like to offer our services— those outside our expertise on humans and their world, that is— in order to uncover your mystery creature and help you to regain some sense of security in your fair kingdom.”

Somewhere behind him, Muta speaks up.

“We would—?!”

“Yes,” Baron responds without hesitation, without so much as a glance back at the cat. “I believe we may have some other insight to offer the situation.”

“Oh—!” Natori practically claps his paws together. “We could only be so fortunate to receive your continued help in this matter! I was going to do this anyway, you must understand, but do please let us treat the two of you to a banquet in gratitude for your trouble, and your future assistance.” Here he looks to Haru, as well, addressing her with the same deference, “And you, as well, Miss Haru— as a most sincere apology for your confinement, of course.”

“A banquet? Okay.”

Baron’s smile isn’t directed at Muta himself, but it’s clear the cat’s sudden willingness to entertain a longer stay is what brought the expression about.

“Yes,” he agrees, too, “I believe such an occasion may prove to be a fertile ground to gather more intel as well as repay kindness. Will the king be present?”

“Of course.”

+++

The Cat King is perhaps not quite as stately as his regal title might lead one to expect. He’s rather tall for a cat, like his advisor (or at least Baron surmises he would be were he standing), but covered in long lavender fur which seems to point in whatever random direction it pleases, giving him an appearance that might almost be unfortunately described as slovenly. At the moment, he lounges idly in an ornate chair at the head of the table.

When Natori introduces them all, the king merely mumbles something to himself, and then greets them with an indolent, almost sullen-sounding, “Hey.”

“Your Majesty,” Natori then continues, in a pressured way that belies some amount of exasperation, “The Baron von Gikkingen and his colleague, Muta, have decided to continue to offer their expertise— that is, their expertise outside that which they possess on humans, in their own words— in order to help solve our creature mystery.”

“Oh, yeah?” The king all but drawls. “That’s cool, babe.”

At this, Natori seems to deflate, asking them all to sit while he checks on the meal. It’s only after he’s left that the conversation continues.

“I do hate to seem as if I’m all business, if you will,” Baron begins, “But I’m quite interested in your own opinions on this mystery creature business, Your Majesty.”

The Cat King sniffs a time or two, resting the side of his head against his paw propped against the arm of his chair. His attention seems drawn to the shiny metal of one of the forks sitting beside the platter before him as opposed to any of his kingdom’s guests. When he does finally respond, it’s with a bored tone, and spoken while combing absentmindedly through his mustache.

“It’s not a fun time, I’ll tell you that much. Haven’t had an upset this annoying since that time I tried to implement taxes. If you ask me, the sooner it goes away, the better. I’m tired of hearing about it.” Then, before anyone can respond to any of that, he eyes Haru blearily a few seconds and asks, “How come you’re so huge, babe?”

Haru, sitting upon a low bench with her knees hopelessly drawn a couple inches above the table and admiring the tiny silverware, reddens a little. “I’m not, sir..! I’m short for a human.”

“Huh. Didn’t know that about humans. I always pictured them like little garden gnomes.”

“I’ve known a handful of garden gnomes,” Baron adds thoughtfully. 

Muta clears his throat loudly, staring at Baron with the —.

“...but I suppose that’s not important right now.”

[ insert dinner arriving, as well as natori coming back probably ]

“Baron,” Haru suddenly whispers from beside him. When he turns to her, he sees that she’s staring down at the array of forks spread out upon the tablecloth with a palpable amount of abrupt apprehension, no longer simply admiring them.

“The one farthest to the left is appropriate for appetizers,” he whispers back helpfully, guessing what her conundrum is, and seemingly correctly at that, as her manner noticeably relaxes.

“Oh, thank goodness.” She gingerly picks it up.

“What can you tell us about the monster so far, anyway?” Muta asks as he inspects the plate set before him hungrily, soon after wasting no time in gulping down his first bite.

“Not much, babe. Just sorta showed up a couple weeks ago and started terrorizing the place. Lune was the one who’d seen it the most,” the king recalls, lazily spinning his fork in his paw. From her seat, Haru notices it’s the wrong one (at least, according to Baron’s advice).

“The prince,” Natori supplies quietly from his standing spot behind the Cat King’s seat. 

“...Was..?”

At this the king gives a vaguely discomfited noise, leaning back to talk with his advisor in low tones. Eventually, he answers in a pressured manner that speaks to some uncertain annoyance, “No one knows it yet, but we sent Lune on some made-up errand this morning to get him away from the castle.” He levels his fork this time at their guests, eyes narrowed and lip curled. “And that means you three can’t go blabbing about it now, either. No one outside this room needs to be getting any ideas about some monster stalking the royal family.”

“Is it then safe to assume you yourself have had encounters with this creature?”

Baron’s question seems to catch the king off-guard. What had been a narrowed, almost unimpressed glower very quickly relaxes. The king shrugs.

“Sometimes I’d think I saw something outta the corner of my eye, but it’s always turned out to be something else. You’ll have to ask the servants and other riffraff who’ve seen it to give you a description.”

“Or Natori,” Natoru pipes up from her own station by the door. “It stalked him once, he told me.”

“Only from a distance,” Natori is quick to correct when attention then turns to him. “I’m afraid I didn’t see it very clearly. My own experience is likely to be of little help compared with the likes of Lune’s or even that of our head chef’s.”

“What, is your monster just looking for a snack?”

“If it is, it’s looking in the right place, babe,” the king responds without so much as a sniff of offense, and continues on with his usual casual vernacular,“Our chef’s the best in the kingdom. Knows how to roast a sweet potato the same way the humans do.”

“Oh,” Haru perks up. “You mean yakiimo?”

The king points his fork in her direction. “That’s the stuff.”

“Perhaps we might shadow your head chef tonight, then— not for his no doubt exemplary cooking skills, but since he appears to be the monster’s main target at the moment, with your son on an errand.”

[ insert continuing conversation and a transition scene to natori going about the castle at night. last minute checks and all. baron and muta stay with the chef for the night as they planned but i. admittedly don’t know where haru goes. natori has a run-in with the monster ]

Heat explodes over the top of his head and runs down his spine as his heart plummets with it. With an iron-clad calmness, the likes of which he’s certain he’s never experienced before, Natori reaches mechanically, gingerly, for the curtain covering the door to his right and inches toward it. Shuffling footsteps grow closer by the second, and he just manages to slip through the split in the fabric relatively soundlessly.

It’s only once he’s enveloped in the safety of what he recognizes as the king’s media room that he shakily rests against the wall closest to the door, breathing a sigh of relief and letting himself slide down to a hunched sitting position.

Such rotten luck, Natori thinks to himself, that he might encounter the creature after downplaying his other run-ins with the thing.

The reprieve from his fear is short-lived, however.

From the corner of his eye, he sees the curtain bowing inwards, and to his horror something peeks into the room once that curtain is parted. Despite what seems to be a lack of eyes, it immediately turns to the grey cat huddled against the wall to its right.

Having mostly seen the creature from a distance (that part hadn’t been a lie), Natori finds he’s rather unprepared for getting up close and personal with it. From afar, its cavernous maw hadn’t been obvious, though he’s now uncertain how, looking upon rows of large, rounded teeth and a broad tongue which sways from side to side as the creature barges into his space.

The noise Natori utters in response is something of a strangled, fearful sob and the wetness on his cheeks tells him his panicked tears have welled up and overflown significantly. 

“No— please—” Who is he hoping will hear his pleas? The creature? How ridiculous, he thinks.

“Hungry… hungry. Natori, hungry…”

The voice sounds familiar, albeit as if channeled through a moving fan. It’s there, at last, that he spies the king’s eye-like crown, crooked and tiny, but proudly displayed upon the creature’s massive head, as it normally would be upon a much more familiar visage.

“...Your Majesty..?” Natori breathes, transfixed in both horror and a tentative hopefulness.

The monster closes its yawning mouth, those rows of blunted teeth vanish, and it rears back in much the same manner an animal might upon being sprayed with water.

“Your Majesty—” Natori tries again, this time a touch more confidently.

Here the creature (the king..?) utters a low whine and slinks back, shies away and skulks through the curtain. It’s not panicked or quick enough to flee, but the retreat is obvious in any case. Natori hesitates, waits until the shuffling of its many feet is a distant hum, and then, with the same mechanical numbness he’d exhibited earlier upon first becoming aware of the monster’s presence, walks to the cabinet on the other side of the room, climbs into it, and silently waits for morning.

+++

It’s Natoru who finds him the next morning, and somewhere Natori feels he should have predicted that.

“I know I’ve found you in all kinds’a places, Natori, sir, but this one is… um, strange even for you.”

Natori, rubbing groggily at his face in the sudden light of the morning sun, can only agree faintly before he remembers the previous night through his sleep haze.

"H-His Majesty— where is the king..?"

"In his quarters, I'd assume," Natoru answers nonchalantly, watching as the advisor stumbles from the room.

+++

“Your Majesty..!”

It’s patently unlike Natori to enter the king’s quarters without knocking, and even more so to do so by throwing the door open, but that’s exactly what he does. The king’s room is large and airy, and his bed a disarray of blankets and pillows, some of which also lie scattered across the room. Being familiar with the Cat King’s erratic sleeping behavior (for reasons he’d rather not think about at this moment, not after last night’s encounter), Natori supposes the chaos isn’t entirely evidence of his theory on its own. The king himself appears to have rolled off the bed at Natori’s sudden intrusion, and now sits glowering at his advisor over the edge of the mattress.

“This better be good, babe.”

Natori teeters further into the room in a seeming daze, rounding the bed and reaching out for the king’s face, peering into his eyes, patting his arms as if unconvinced the other cat is real.

“You’re— ah, yourself..! You’re not— o-oh, now I’m quite confused.”

“What—? What are you rambling about now?”

“Well, er, I believe I may know who the creature is, sire.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, spit it out. Who?”

“You.”

[ insert. well, things i couldn’t figure out how to word and put together, like how they all come to the conclusion that it’s a curse which has been put upon the king, rumors of mystical and occasionally mischievous, if not mean-spirited, beings living in the woods surrounding the kingdom, and muta grudgingly volunteering himself to go speak with them since he is implied to have experience dealing with such beings. so enter toto ]

“You might think of me as a spur,” Toto says. Without any prior warning, he suddenly takes wing, alighting a few feet away on a barren branch. “One perhaps embedded in someone’s side, that rouses them into movement to dislodge it.”

“...Take it you’re the one who cursed the royal kitty cat, then,” Muta says as he follows after the crow, always a step or two behind.

“Yes, I’m the one who cast the curse,” Toto admits offhandedly, flapping his wings once, then twice, in an effort to get comfortable upon his new perch. “There’s no sense pretending I didn’t. But where it goes from there is not really in my own hands— well, wings— by now.”

“Seems kinda irresponsible to cast a curse you can’t control, if you ask me.”

“That’s the nature of them!” It’s there Toto studies Muta with an almost fond smile, though it’s cloaked in a muted amusement which the cat finds he does not care for at all. “You’ve not dealt with many curses before now, have you?”

“So what if I haven’t?” Muta asks with a toss of his head. “They just haven’t come up, is all.”

“Where are you from? You don’t have the manner of those kingdom cats.”

“That’s ‘cause I live in the human world like a normal cat.”

“That doesn’t tell me where you’re from,” Toto observes readily.

“No, it doesn’t. Are you gonna let me in on how to deal with your curse?”

“That depends.”

In the taut silence that follows, Muta defiantly refusing to break their eye contact and Toto’s smile unwavering, it occurs to the cat suddenly just how still the forest truly is. With great reluctance, as if the motion is being performed underwater, Muta looks away, gives their surroundings a stormy inspection, and when his budding suspicions appear to be supported, he clicks his tongue under his breath.

“...You got me, didn’t you. I should have been paying more attention.”

Toto only emits a brief chuckle, nonchalantly preening one of his wings.

“What do I have to do to get out of here, then?”

Here the crow stops, eyeing Muta indulgently, and answers, “I like you, Muta, so I’ll go easy on you. Here is my offer— one kiss, and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know about the curse. No kiss, and, well, I’ll tell you the way out.”

Muta crosses his arms.

“That’s not gonna work for me, crow. Sounds to me like you forgot something— if I do lower my standards enough to give some birdbrain a kiss, I didn’t hear anything about that birdbrain showing me the way out of here, too.”

“Oh, shoot, you figured me out. You’re a little smarter than I assumed.”

“You know what they say about assuming.”

“Hm. Smarter than I thought but not very original, I see.”

[ insert, yes, a kiss lmao it’s nothing more than a peck on the cheek, but still, i didn’t figure out how to word it in time ]

“I don’t do riddles,” Toto all but sniffs. “Alright. Here’s the thing— the king’s curse can only be broken by someone he loves, and who loves him.”

“That’s a tall order. You met the king..?”

Toto gestures to himself with a deadpan look. 

“...right.”

“I’ll tell you this, by my observations you have three choices. But choose wisely, as I can’t guarantee just any of those three will do the trick.”

“Alright, who’re the three, then?”

Here Toto hesitates.

“The king is an inordinately hungry creature even when he thinks he’s had his fill. The three you’re looking for feed him, in whatever way he craves at that moment.”

“Thoughtcha didn’t do riddles,” Muta says, unimpressed.

“Riddles rhyme.”

“So you’re not creative enough to rhyme, got it. What do they have to do then, the three, assuming we figure out who they are?”

“You only need one.” Toto hesitates, eyes narrowed at the cat in apparent agitation.

[ yada yada toto gives muta the answer but phrased in a vague unhelpful way. muta is less than impressed ]

“Now, how do I get out of here?”

“The same way you came in,” Toto answers, and the flat stoniness in his voice makes it clear he’s no longer feeling all that chummy toward the cat. Muta feels the surrounding forest become more suffocating. “Leave me be.”

“One last thing, then, just for my own curiosity— why’d you do it, uh? The curse?”

Here Toto lifts his head so that he stares down at the cat with an imperious gaze. He’s really pushing his luck. “Do I need a reason? You implied it yourself, didn’t you? He’s a loveless lout, with no concern for anything or anyone beyond what he wants in that very moment. Perhaps one day he crossed the wrong person; perhaps I simply saw him commit some unforgivably cruel act. In the end, it doesn’t matter. It was bound to happen in any case, if not by my hand, then by someone else’s.”

“And the staff? The prince? What did they do?”

“Nothing,” the crow responds, now soft and pensive again. “But that is the nature of curses.”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time.”

“Best be on your way. Silly me, I forgot to mention time works differently here than it does in the kingdom. It’ll be dark by the time you get back.”

“Now you tell me. Thanks for nothing, birdbrain.”

“I could at least give you another insult to use on me before you leave.”

Muta grumbles to himself as he turns and treads back the way he came, ultimately giving Toto no reply, and, true to the crow’s words, the life and bustle of the forest returns as he drifts closer to the boundary between it and the kingdom, though it’s noticeably more tranquil than it had been when he’d entered closer to noontime. Night, as Toto had predicted, is certainly falling.

[ from here i hadn’t written enough to be compelling, so i’m so sorry but there’s no satisfactory end rip if you know me and my character leanings and such then it might be obvious how it ends anyway thinking emoji or maybe not! maybe i’m not as obvious as i feel i am XD;; but i doubt it. thank you for reading and sticking through to the end ]

#tcr birthday bash 2022 #typewriter ghost #cursed 22 #i flipped the switch so my blog temporarily shows up in search results so let's hope this makes it to the tag jjfdkls #i'm mad that i had such a headstart on this and still didn't finish it but what can u do

[softersinned-arc]

hello my doves there are a lot of you who are relatively new here so a few important things:

if you're sensitive to horror content, please blacklist #cw: horror, which is the catch-all tag i use for writing vampire / witch content that verges into horror. a lot of vampire content especially will feature violence and potentially gore, and as vampires do hunt humans for food, that will be an element of it. likewise, the witch verse will feature similar content.

i tend to do my drafts in groups based on verse, so that i can use the same playlist / keep my inspiration going in the same setting. if i take a while to respond to something, it's only because of where my inspiration's at, and i promise i'm not ignoring you.

this blog explores potentially triggering material. please make sure to communicate with me if you need something tagged.

this character is not a nice or kind person. she's manipulative, she's dishonest, and her moral compass is spectacularly broken. please know this going in, and please do not expect that your character can "fix" her or make her "less" intense.

while i enjoy in-character conflict, please make sure to touch base with me about that conflict, particularly if that conflict is less about legitimate disagreements or differences in philosophy and more about my character being disparaged. neither she nor i am an acceptable punching bag. i'm happy to joke about how she's the Worsttm but there is a clear difference between joking with me and mockery at my expense.

this blog also features a lot of political & religious content, as these are instrumental to her character development. please take care of yourself, and if this is content you don't want to see, don't follow! i won't tag for either just because they make up so much of my blog and this character.

yes, i want to be friends! yes, i'd love to chat! yes, i want to see pictures of your pets! please feel free to talk to me! when i get particularly anxious or am having a rough time, i experience some difficulty with starting conversations, so please be patient with me in that regard, i promise i am doing my best and am no less enthusiastic about you or writing with you!

and finally: this is a hobby not a jobby and i am here to experience joy! that is and will remain my priority!

#iv. tilting pretty sharply bitchward. ( marianning )

[aethele]

@locktap​ said: Did Ferdinand ever wish he had siblings growing up? Has his observations of any of the siblings in his social circle or at the Academy influenced that in any way?

Okay…  had to noodle on this one a little longer!  Thanks so much for sending!!

So in my most objective/canonical view of Ferdinand,  he has never stated anything about having siblings which is why I play him as such  ( in my grave endeavor to be mostly canon compliant ).  The only time he ever mentions anything useful regarding this topic is when he states that he is  “the legitimate son of the Aegir family.” 

Now he could just be being facetious with his words  ( highly likely ),  or it is possible that he does indeed have half-siblings  ( also highly likely,  given what we know about other Adrestian lords and that it is canonically strange to be a noble only child ),  but even if so,   they would likely subsist at the fringes of House Aegir—if at all—and he would have scarcely had any contact with them. 

We also now know,  thanks to Hopes,  that his mother has been in poor health for a very long time,  which to me at least,  makes it slightly more likely that he is indeed an only child.  Although it could also be the very same reason there might be illegitimate heirs!  Either way...

Growing up,  he thought nothing of it.  He was perfectly happy being an only child,  and likely spent a lot of time with the other heirs of the great noble families in his youth  ( as we know he did with Constance ),  enough that he was never really in want of a sibling.  Really,  who needs siblings when you have a stable full of Aegir destriers and 42 pet Aegir hounds?

At the Academy,  though,  it quickly becomes apparent that he is the sort of fellow who is popular,  albeit with many acquaintances and  very,  very few close friends.  He has a few lines that imply that he feels excluded by Edelgard and Hubert,  and later on after the time skip,  Petra correctly calls him out for being lonely.  So I think  being lonely  is not really something he realizes until he is older,  and it is definitely one of the reasons he is such a busybody,  super nosy,  and why he has such a strong desire to help others before himself. 

At that point,  though,  it is much less a desire for  siblings,  and instead…  well…

By the end of the war and beyond it,  getting married and having lots of kids  is right at the top of his priority list! 

#* ❂ ) the mark of nobility ! ― headcanon. #locktap #ferdie's to do list is like 1) Revolution 2) Get married and have 7 kids #ty again these were such good questions!!

[nissenupton10]

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[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - May 👩🏿‍🍳2024 - Sagittarius

Whole of their energy towards Sagittarius: 5 Wands

Feelings: 9 Cups

Intentions: The Hermit & The Magician

Actions: Wheel of Fortune

This one seems platonic, related. A grandparent, parent, boss even. Like they don’t want to “get rid of you” per say, but you could be financially dependent on them in some way, and I’m getting the visual of a baby bird 🐦 being pushed out of the nest. Like, figure out your life bird. I won’t be here forever. They see your energy as very young, pretty indulgent, you could have a tendency for selfishness or just…not the most responsible energy. Not like *them*, right? Assuming this is a parent. A boss even. You’re not the hardass type and that’s kinda what they want from you. Take control. Lead. Make changes. Be a strong & independent person, an adult basically. They feel like it’s time to pay the piper for the things you’ve been doing, giving away time, resources, brain space or what have you - to only the things *you* want to. There’s no necessity here, a schedule, budget, or priority list, I’m thinking that’s probably what this person is after. They may not be too keen on your social groups either, if they all act like this. I don’t get a partying vibe overall, but maybe for one person there’s a drinking/using crowd.

Intentions are taking some needed time to think over how they want to approach this with you - 10 Pentacles being the goal. Whatever it is may piss you off, there could be some sort of disciplinary measures involved with The Emperor here. This is a very proud person, they tend to do things the “right” way - in their mind, and they have no room for this foolery, whatever it is you’ve done idk - it doesn’t say. In action, they’re going to give things some time and let you prove it to them? Prove you’re responsible or serious about whatever is going on here, there could also be a written agreement, a ticket, a write-up or disciplinary measure, some sort of document involved in their plan. I don’t think this will be resolved this month, but for the future there is some kind of plan of agreement awaiting you, and it will take real effort - but it’s only because in their mind, they’re balancing the scales and being fair to everyone involved. It’s possible someone gets sick or dealing with an illness this month, maybe they or you having to step up more.

Oracles:

Pride 👑

Self Esteem - Self Worth - Ego

Messages:

Their side:

- Curvy boy/girl

- What other people say matters too much to me

Your side:

- Forever Young

- Red Flag 🚩

Possible signs:

Heavy Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius, Aries, Leo

If you’re dealing with:

Judgment is either your own regarding your people, feeling unsure of how other people judge you (if they do), or relationships they have left your life for whatever reason - and whether those can come back to life now that something has changed. Or is it done with and there’s no going back at this point?

Aries - moving slow because they don’t know what to do about this or you, could be this person with The Emperor 🐢

Taurus - stressed & worried over money, something they’re/you’re buying, a new financial opportunity of some kind

Gemini - making a decision quietly but isn’t sharing that that is with anyone just yet

Cancer - doesn’t speak to you, has no hope of healing this connection, could stalk you though

Leo - someone you work with possibly, if there’s been an issue then they forgive you - or anyone else there’s been an issue with

Virgo - consciously moving on or moving away

Libra - acts super supportive but isn’t, says they’re going to do things but doesn’t

Scorpio - feels a deep connection - but not love

Sagittarius - feels like they have no choice but to stop giving to you, like it’s your fault, or they legitimately don’t have a choice

Capricorn - patient with your in & out bs, seems to look forward to whenever you’re “in”

Aquarius - single, independent, reflective and quiet, doing their own thing 💯

Pisces - doesn’t know what to even say to you

#Sagittarius #thinking of you #may 2024 #astrology #zodiac signs #free tarot #tarot reading