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#I’m just tired of seeing ppl not feel safe on their own blogs
chrollohearttags · 8 months
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if you’re thinking of leaving that nasty comment or making a post taking a dig at someone’s writing today, close the fucking app out and don’t. Tired of seeing yall’s bad takes and flat out hateful remarks about what you don’t like but not a single fic on your page. It’s tiring. This is why folks are leaving by the droves.
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sukirichi · 3 years
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Hi! I hope you're doing okay. So I just had a thot. And idk what to do with it. So Imma just put it here cause your blog is my new favourite. I'm not even joking. I literally devoured everything related to Tokyo Rev on your blog. So here's my theory. Do correct me if you think I'm wrong Sensei!
Bouten husbands and where they liked to be kissed the most/ or is their weakness. (Ps: it's just my opinion. I mean no offense to anyone.)
Mikey~ Kiss him on his shoulders and he'll cry. Cause he's been bearing all the burden of his dark and decaying world for so long that he doesn't even know that he needs to take a minute for himself and rely on others around him. Especially since most ppl around him are willing to give their life and limbs for Mikey. He just can't seem to keep that in mind. So you've taken it upon yourself to remind him frm time to time. Just a little peck on his strong and broad-ish shoulders to remind him that he's not alone. That if nothing, he has you. He always will.
Rindou~ Something about being kissed on his cheeks, especially by his lover, does things to him. Like his cardiovascular muscles do a little somersault in his chest or something. Because yes, it doesn't matter if he's one of the big, scary and irreplaceable executive of Bouten, he still has an unconscious inferiority complex. Sometimes it just skips his mind that despite everything, he too deserves the world. And every once in a while you need to remind him about it. That he doesn't have to be flashy and snarky like his brother. He just needs to be himself and that he is undeniably worthy of love.
Ran~ Not many people are taller than him, you are no exception. So it makes sense that in order to kiss him you need to be on your tippy toes. And still you're only able to reach his neck. So yeah, just kiss him there. Right on his Adam's apple and he's a goner. It doesn't even have to be sexual. Ran is always the one to take charge. It's kind of in his nature and you happily oblige him. But every now and then, you also need to remind him to take a breather That he can just let go and get dotted over for a change. You're more than happy to take care of him, that he needs to be taken care off.
Koko~ This man not only, brings in the big dough for Bouten, but also beats up people while at it. To say that he's always overworked is an understatement. His hands are always doing something, illegal things most of the time. He knows he's no saint. That there's no coming back into the light. He's painfully aware. But once e intertwine your hands together and kiss him on top of his knuckles, he swears that it's his redemption. You're the only light in his dark and dangerous world.
Kaku-chan~ Please. Just kiss this man on his forehead. Please. He's literally out there, ready to give his life for the things he wants to protect. He's always doing that. Protecting the people that have gone astray, who have no more hope left. He's ready to die for them, if it means they'll keep going. So please, just once, just protect him instead. Protect him from the demons he skillfully hided in his head. Protect him from the nightmares that torment him every night. Just protect him for a change. He needs it more than he's willing to admit.
Sanzu~ Okay. Hear me out. He's deranged and he knows it. He knows he's won't bat an eye before painfully torturing someone to death. Heck he'll even do it with a smile plastered on his face. He knows that he's stained in blood almost all the time.(sometimes his own, most of the other times, not his own). He'll even relish it. He knows that he's been tainted with burden of death. He knows that he lives in the shadows. He's not sane. He's not good. He's bad. He's ugly. You can tell that these awful thoughts keep him awake at night. So when they do and he has this almost painful look on his face. Just pull him close and kiss him on his face, over and over. Kiss his scars, kiss his lips, kiss his nose, his eyes. Just don't stop until he's got your point across. That yes, it's true that he's despicable. But you still love him nonetheless.
Ps: Sorry that was too long and kinds got out of hand. But these are just my "thots". Thank you for hearing me out!~ Thot anon
hi i’m doing okay, thanks for asking n i hope you are too !! also aaah i’m glad to know my blog is your new fave, i hope you enjoy more of my future tokrev content 🥺 ALSO YES ITS HEADCANON TIME LETS GO LETS GO
mikey n shoulder kisses 🥺 i hc that mikey is stiff and rigid all the time without knowing. like you said, he has a lot on his mind and draken even said mikey had a heavy ass cross to bear, so imagine the weight and burdens he has to shoulder 🥺 so if you lean into him for a hug then kiss his shoulders, mikey deflates. to him, its like a reminder he doesn’t have to carry it all by himself all the time and poor bb forgets that often
cheek kisses for rindou 🥺 the idea of this big, bad executive infamous for breaking limbs but is actually a sucker for cheek kisses and turns into a soft lil bean when you cup his face and just smother him with love n affection? bless. rindou probably unknowingly exerts too much effort sometimes to prove something - may it be his strength, his power, or how he’s perfectly capable of fighting by himself - he’ll have that voice at the back of his head that he needs to do something. giving him cheek kisses grounds him and elicits butterflies in his stomach bcos he realizes that, “oh, i don’t have to try so hard. silly me...now more cheek kisses, please.”
ran and neck kisses !! ON THE FLOOR RN, TELL ME MORE. but yes omg i also hc that ran is such a giver and grown up to look for others the way he does for rindou, so in his head, he’s kind of drilled it into himself that he has to be the one in the lead - not necessarily in a mikey way - but in a “he needs to take charge and take his responsibilities seriously” kind of thing. like mikey, ran is probably often deep in thought as well despite his teasing mannerisms, that when you kiss his neck he can’t help but soften. he enjoys being doted on. loves to be the one on the receiving side. has the sweetest smile on his face when he gets a lil ticklish and he just feels like he’s on cloud nine <33
knuckle kisses for koko 😫 everything you said was on point !! his hands are probably so tired from fighting and counting bills all day, not to mention the amount of paperwork he has to do bcos who else will do them ?? no one knows the inner system of koko and how it works as well as koko does, and he wants to do his job right. he gets a little too absorbed in his work, however, that koko gets a little confused when you take his hands away from whatever he’s working on to leave little kisses at the pads of his knuckles, maybe even massaging his hands or playing with his fingers to help him relax a bit. and you know how koko is so good at what he does bcos its all he knows, but at the same he probably hates how he treads on this dark path ?? so when you kiss his knuckles, he feels relieved. like everything will be okay and second chances are real n something he’s worthy of
omg now this is my favorite - kakucho + foreahead kisses. forehead kisses are always so intimate and soothing in a sense. like come here so you can kiss him on the forehead, watch the way his eyes flutter close and a smile tugs at his lips when your lips trail down to his scar, all the while your hands are cupping his face with such tenderness he never really knew of. kakucho is so used to being the tough guy with his rough childhood that it almost feels surreal. surreal that he’s in bed, with you, safe and sound and you’re kissing his forehead so comfortingly he doesn’t have to worry about putting his walls down for a second. he feels safe. he feels at home. but most of all, he knows he’s not alone and he has you - his family
kissing sanzu’s scars 🥺 everything you said was beautiful n i can totally see it happening !! as much as we all know sanzu takes great pleasure and finds entertainment in what he does, it sinks down a little too late. when he’s not high, that’s when he feels the lows. when the blood on his hands are dried, that’s when he realizes it gets harder to wash them off until it stains deep all the way into his soul. then his scars. he sees his scars and remembers how he has to hide them at some point. he stays awake at night and oddly enough, silent and unmoving. and what better way to ease his worries than to pull him close and just to kiss his scars that he thinks are only one of the ways the darkness - the ugliness - of his soul shows through. keep him close and kiss his scars. sanzu may not always be in the right mind to understand your words, but the simple gesture of showing love and acceptance to a part of him that makes him a whole will engrave deep into his heart. leave him butterfly kisses. kiss him from everywhere to his eyes until they flutter close to sleep. kiss his nose adoringly until they scrunch so cutely. kiss his lips until its your taste that overwhelms him. and kiss his scars to remind him his imperfections are accepted and loved
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honeymoonjin · 4 years
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hello sorry but this is goodbye from me on tumblr, explanation below , i love you all and i’m sorry but this is the best thing for me rn
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first of all, i’m very sorry to all of the people who will be disappointed by this. tgm has been my baby for a long time, but recently it feels like this giant overwhelming work that will never be done, and if i’m perfectly honest i’m pretty sick of writing heterosexual sex. i still love the characters, and i wish sorely that my excitement and motivation could have lasted until the end, but i need to acknowledge that i’ve set this up as a primarily yn x member smut endeavour and i’m just really,,, over it. one thing people have said about my story is that they appreciate the discussions of safety, consent, and kink exploration. i am really sad that i couldn’t continue to explore it with you, but at the end of the day sex education isn’t my job and if y’all haven’t learnt the importance of consent and research by this point what more can i do 🗿
right now, i’m in the process of arranging employment for myself for 2021. all going well, i’ll be an english teacher in korea. with a full time job (and i plan on studying korean while i’m there too) i won’t have any time to write and i also don’t want the kind of mental burden of having an ongoing work. so for a while i’ve toyed with the idea of going back to writing my oneshots. i miss writing things like upstream colour and boseong breakfast, as much as i love tgm i am really guttered that in order to do it, i had to stop writing these pieces that i adore. creating a gentle world for gentle characters is one of my favourite things about writing, and it’s been far too long.
but honestly if i do that, i don’t even think i’ll do it as honeymoonjin. i love my hmj url and the relationships i’ve made while being sora have been really special to me. that being said, there has been a lot going on behind the scenes and it’s reached to a point where i just kinda wanna log out and escape it all. maybe i’ll make a new blog and go back to the delightful freedom of being nobody, maybe i’ll just post on ao3 and leave behind tumblr entirely, i really don’t know.
but there has been a LOT happening that hasn’t really surfaced on tumblr. i have no interest in making this a callout post or spilling tea or sparking drama or anything because fuck that stuff is exhausting and pointless and i’ve learnt that the hard way.
but i think i owe you all a little transparency.
i’ve become very disillusioned with the author environment here on tumblr. i’ve been involved in and have observed countless awful situations involving nets and admins, i’ve seen a whole lot of people who are only admin so that they have power and authority over others, and because of some pretty awful circumstances i had to leave the net that i co-created, which for a long time was my favourite thing to work on.
beyond that, there have been so many authors that i’ve looked up to first as writers and then for some as friends, only to find out some pretty shocking truths in the long run. seeing those people mistreat my friends, emotionally manipulate my friends, often directly lie. me a year ago had no idea how many nasty people there are, and that’s a real shame, because there are some incredible and generous and talented and kind people here too. i have the honour of being close with some of them, and if it weren’t for their support i would’ve left long ago.
but it’s all these negative experiences that have made staying on tumblr - at least as honeymoonjin - a less than enjoyable experience. every day there’s more drama or friendships crumbling or lies exposed and even beyond that, there are certain names and urls that make me feel upset and nauseous even seeing. blocking them doesn’t do much when they’re getting recced every second day in my server (not ur fault ppl from the villa, i still appreciate you all x) but i just feel like,,,, what’s the point suffering unnecessarily?
i’m far too tired to try and name names and change things because i actually don’t think they ever will. i know who my friends are and i’ll keep close once i leave, but as far as i’m concerned it’s time for me to leave.
i want to thank you all for your support over this year and a half i’ve been writing. this has been a hugely enlightening experience in every way and i don’t have many regrets. i’m sorry that i didn’t get to clean up my loose ends but i just feel so unhappy here these days and that’s the sad truth.
it has nothing to do w my readers, i still am so grateful for you and love chatting with you, but i need a clean slate.
i love you all, and my heart is so heavy to say goodbye, but it’s time for me to be selfish and firmly put myself first.
stay safe and healthy, fight for your own happiness even if it doesn’t come easy, and take control of your experiences.
i have loved this and loved you all,
bye bye,
sora xxx
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max--phillips · 3 years
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Ok, it took me awhile to figure out how to word all this. I didn't want it to seem like I'm trying to play a victim. But if I do, please call me out on it so I can learn from it.
So I haven't reblogged anything about that UD thing with PP. And all the resulting discussion stemming from it. Not because I don't care, because I definitely do. I saw it and it actually made me physically sick to see that people do that. Then to go a step further and tag him in it. Which is part of the reason I didn't reblog it. As part of curating my own tumblr experience I don't reblog stuff that effects me like that. I don't want to look through my blog at a later time and see it.
I'm not saying it's not an issue that needs to be addressed. Because it absolutely does. Especially when you only see certain blogs catching crap for speaking out about it. I take whatever I see so I can personally learn from it and work to be better.
I don't want to be the ass that is kinda ghosting on a major issue. But at the same time I feel like it's kinda late to just start reblogging the stuff. Especially since I inadvertently interacted with someone who is a big instigator in going after some blogs speaking out. I wasn't in the fandom a year ago. And a lot of times when the issue is brought up again, people are very vague about what happened before. So I had no idea that one of the blogs I enjoy was so problematic. Again, not trying to play a victim. Just saying that it's hard to catch up on everything when you weren't around before.
Basically what I'm wondering: is my tumblr experience and mental health more important than making sure this issue is seen and talked about.
The short answer is yes. Ultimately, you don’t owe anyone anything. On top of that, you have people reblogging things and talking about it that are fairly popular in fandom, so people are definitely seeing it.
I think that at the end of the day as long as you are doing what you are able to to make sure that people are safe and comfortable, that’s all that matters. As long as you’re learning, and growing, and being kind and accepting to others, you’re good. I feel like the Internet, and tumblr especially, is really bad at realizing that people only have so much energy and can only do so much in a day. Trying to be outspoken about every issue ever and doing advocacy and education and what have you constantly forever is EXHAUSTING. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
For example. I have the “ace discourse” tag blacklisted on this website. It’s not because I don’t care about ace people. It’s because I care a little bit too much and I’m able to get into a position where I’m spending all day arguing with some idiot online who doesn’t think ace people are inherently LGBT and it leaves me exhausted and angry and just… not in a good spot. So I just don’t participate. There are plenty of other people arguing and standing up for ace people.
So yeah. You’re good. And I don’t think you’re playing the victim. As long as you’re not going into ppl’s inboxes and whining about how it’s “”drama”” and you’re tired of seeing it (once again: racism and calling it out isn’t drama) (also that’s not what you’re doing here, but people do that shit ALL the time) you’re good. And as long as you’re doing what you’re able to do, you’re good! And if all you’re able to do is unfollow a few people and think “god that’s nasty” to yourself, then that’s fine!!! That’s more than a lot of folks!!
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hereisisa · 4 years
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(1/?) I'm neutral to EA tbh, I like it sometimes but this isn't my OTP. I really like your blog, though. And what I want to say is - I used to ship KA after F1, but they totally ruined them for me as a couple in shorts and then in F2 (and so did they with the sisters' relation :(). As for F2, I totally agree with what you said about personality transplant the main trio went through. But put this aside, I have another thought - I feel so sorry for Anna after F2. First, she became the queen, and
(2/?) she's never asked for it, it's not her world. She didn't even want to go on that adventure in the first place. She also "lost" her sister (true love) and best friend. And now let's consider for a moment that all these 'personality transplants' are true, and that we count the deleted scenes and shorts: so she's always wanted but 1 thing, to be with her sister. In OFA Elsa promised her they'll always be together (in the song), and she'd done the same before, at the end of F1, in FF and even  (3/?) at the beginning of F2, blah blah. And now she totally, utterly betrayed Anna's trust (the ice boat), never apologized AND then went to live in the forest for God knows what fucking reason, and didn't even attend Anna's coronation (and made Anna a queen because she didn't want to do it anymore, not even asking for her opinion) nor replied for her letter. What a stinker. Then the parents - after the boat scene it seems everything has always been Elsa-centric and Anna couldn't even have her         (4/?) time to mourn. Then Kristoff in the Nokk scene. She was engaged to him, she decided to trust him after what happened with Hans, and he betrayed her trust, too. All he did for these 3 years (including FF and OFA) was a lie, he didn't mean it and didn't want it at all. Plus it seems their relationship has been pointless all along, because they can't even communicate well. I know Anna treated him badly in F2, but well, it clearly shows Elsa is her true love and she can't focus on anyone else            (5/?) at the moment... but they (KA) clearly weren't meant for each other anyway. And what I want to say, they ruined Anna's character, they took literally everything for her to five her this stupid powerful song and 'happy ending' she's never asked for. I mean, sure, she's dreamed of romance in F1, but in F2 it's none of her priorities, and definitely that's not the kind of relation ship I'd expect they'd make for her after watching F1. I don't like TNRT because I think it would be better to             (6/?) give Anna NATURAL circumstances to prove her worth, independence and strenght, instead of forcing some stupid stuff. And I don't like the fact KA relation is promoted as healthy... I don't think of it as unhealthy... it's just nonexistent. And stupid. And I totally agree that the sisters' relationship IS unhealthy - but only after how F2 pictured it! So, to sum up, she was my favourite character and I hate everything that's happened to her (as I hate it also with E and K, but well,(7/7) that's not the point of this message), she doesn't even look like her anymore, since the charades. And I hope that you won't delete this message, I didn't mean to promote KA, just wanted to share how I feel about this movie. And I truly like EA. I can't talk about it to any other part of fandom, though, for ppl who ship KA think it's a perfect ending. Sorry for such a long message! I hope the stupidity of F2 creators are the only thing that bothers you on these hard days. Stay safe!     
I really like your post, I’m sorry if it took me 2 days to reply but I wanted to be at pc and not by phone.First of all....let me say that this: “ she's always wanted but 1 thing, to be with her sister “ is essentially who Anna is. She spent her whole life wanting one thing: to spend time with her sister and prove her she’s worth it.
And how are they gonna do that? Apart. Playing it off like “she’s a grown up, she can do stuff by herself”, when she ALWAYS DID EVERYTHING BY HERSELF!!!!
It doesn’t make sense even from a psychological pov. She always feared to lose this person, she always wanted to be with this person, now she loses it. The LAST thing one would do is say “oh ok well I’ll be fine on my own!”
It doesn’t make any fucking sense. I don’t know who they paid to tell them it does (trauma experts LOL), but they wasted their money.
The mistake they did with Anna and that, IMO, widened the popularity gap between Elsa and Anna in Frozen 2, was to give her a storyline so unpopular and not relatable for KIDS.
Kids don’t want to know how they’ll feel when their sister will die, IT’S SO FUCKING WEIRD.
Kids want to see a badass princess with a sword, who fights for her kingdom!! And yet in Frozen 2 they took the one who had powers and who could fight, and turned her into an hippie who does nothing at all in a forest, and the hero, the princess who could be fucking cool, is now a bad copy of what her sister was.
Being Queen, after losing her sister, surviving another trauma, having such a not relatable storyline for a kid.....it’s not a victory.
The only ones who think it’s cool are KA fans for obvious reasons, but they should’t be so happy since he was proved “not good enough” to stand by her side.
I do not agree with you on the sisters relationship being unhealthy and I said many times that was NOT Disney’s intent. Because to paint a sisterly relationship as unhealthy wouldn’t be appropriate for a kids movi and they would NEVER do it, (can you imagine the MONEY THEY’LL LOSE???? Why would they do that? Paint as negative something that makes them sell more than everything else on the market???? It’s crazy!!) and because the weird vibe you got about the relationship comes from the rewriters.For exemple Elsa ignores Anna a bit too much, but it’s because she was supposed to be succubus of a voice and being careless in her search for it.She was supposed to die, and the audience would have said “oh yeah, she even ignored the poor Anna to follow that siren, and she got herself killed”. It was supposed to be painted as a negative thing.But this is just an exemple of one rewrite, many other details, I’m sure, made you come to your conclusion, but I know they’re all results of last minute rewritings, so I have to ignore them.
It’s pretty much the same arguments over and over again, codependency, unhealthy relationship, and I’m tired to debunk them so I’ll just go on with my reply. :)
I agree that Anna doesn’t look like Anna anymore. She was reckless, impulsive,  free-spirited and adventurous.
(now this makes me laugh at this point):
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Anyway, they had to give her a personality transplant (simply “growing up” doesn’t do that) to achieve an end they desperately wanted, who knows why.
Jenn and friends wanted to give her the “Disney happy ending”, a kingdom and a dude, and they had to destroy what Frozen was, in order to achieve it. A story about 2 sisters, who always wanted to be together. A story about family, where a single (queer coded) Queen was ruling and is now replaced by the same old boring hetero couple (while the weirdo with powers was sent elsewhere, who cares where).
How can people trust someone who wanted Elsa as a villain, and wanted her dead, I will never understand it.
I’m not surprised they ruined Anna too, considering what they did to Elsa.
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daintylilbat · 4 years
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Litterally don’t you just love how someone can fuck you up mentally so badly like I ripped myself apart for this person and I tried to love her the best I could I apologized for everything she had me on a string the reason I apologized was because I was in such a low place mentally I felt like I needed her in my life and also I beat myself up enough as is so I felt bad for fucking up the relationship but also wanted to respect her feelings cause I cared for her that much she litterally said “it’s all my fault” and also said “she never did anything wrong ever” oh and that I should “just die” and when she said those things I believed her she was the one person I felt safe with I thought she was it for me but not only that she also made me feel the most hurt and most alone I’ve ever felt it’s so fucked how someone can be so harmful to you but also a safe place for you how does that make any fucking sense I know right it doesn’t to me either and now she’s playing victim and lying and getting so much sympathy but the shit she is saying never even happened and I’m just confused asf supposed to sit here and let her talk and let her keep lying about me because for one there is no need to defend myself for two everything I say will just get turned around cause she’s playing victim and not only that she’s a fucking narcissistic I can’t even post on my main blog about my side of the story or what happened because I’m in a box she put me in but also I just don’t get what I’d get out of that besides maybe my own closure which I’m still trying to create but I also don’t wanna start even more shit with her at all I’m litterally scared of her I don’t know what she’s capable of and the sad part is I also don’t want ppl to hate on her I care a lot about her still even after everything she’s put me through I have so many mixed emotions towards her it’s like I love her but how could she do this to me so I feel betrayed, abandoned, lost, scared I also feel like my self worth is just gone I don’t even know who I am or what I like anymore I just feel empty scared and alone everytime I try to write how I feel it’s just all jumbled but that’s my brain searching for answers I don’t have but I’m so tired of this it’s mentally fucking me up and i have so much other stresses in my life to deal with I don’t understand why this girl still has so much power over me but I guess that’s what she wants I just don’t want her to see that she does I don’t wanna play her games I fucking loved her but I shouldn’t why why why does it have to be this way why couldn’t she of been kind and loving and understanding and not a huge liar and probably never meant anything she said to me I just I don’t even know how to feel or what to do and I know I just need to keep moving forward and I’m doing that but I still feel so caught up in her fucking web
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avenger-hawk · 4 years
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(1) hello sweetie, love ur blog!! and holy cow, never realised anime discourse ran so deep. If I like something and it doesn't hurt you, why do you have to come to my house and throw shit at my stuff lmaooo. Of course, if it's something I need to be corrected about (aka r*cism etc etc) then yeh I get it. But if I like Dark NS and only see Sasuke as submissive in a realtionship, why does that hurt you so much that you have to come and be all "But hey no, AcTuAllY.." Like dude, I DONT CARE
(2) I'm not the type of person who can't form opinions for myself and only ride onto the hate train/delusional ships train. And I'm also not the type to be so insecure about my opinions and likes that having someone come over to shit on me will deter me and make me re-think everything. I also don't need other people to tell me they think like me to feel validated. So why can't people leave us alone when we say we like certain things and dislike others?
(3) I'm sorry I just came at you with this rant out of nowhere, but man, am I pissed and stressed and anxious and on-edge all the time now because I've been involved and seen so mucg discourse around Naruto stuff I've gotten so, so damn tired. Delusional Sa*uS*ku fangirls, delusional SN fangirls, delusional itachi fans and then the ones who pretend they know everything. I'm tired, tired of having to be so guilt-tripped all the time for liking Sasuke. Seems like it's controversial to like him.
(4) But leaving all that sour and heavy stuff behind, I absolutely adore your blog!! I am so freaking glad it exists, you have no idea how many times I've checked your blog over the years only to be surprised at how similar our interpretations are. It felt like you were reading my mind and putting down thoughts that I didn't dare put down. Thank you so damn much for still being here despite all the shit you had to put up with. and alsooo..I can't stand anything new/b*ruto related so either 🙃
(5) Last one, but I hope you're doing good, staying safe and all that stuff. I realllly wish I could talk to you as a friend, feels like we would vibe so much given how similar our thought processes seem to be xD AHH!! I also adore your fics so damn much, I still remmeber the days I used to refresh ever day just to see if there was an update ;_; I'm so glad you even wrote those fics so I'm not begging or guiltripping for updates, just wanting to put out my thanks. Love you sweetie, tc  😭💕
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First of all thanks for the nice words~
Aand...Anon I don’t get one thing. We all saw how crazy anime discourse (or fictional stuff one) can get. You are confident about your opinions (which are totally right because CANON Sas is passive in relationship, he’s the yin cuz kishi said so and ppl who say the opposite, especially SS, SN and SI shippers are just delusional) and you don’t need other ppl’s bullshit discourse...then why do you engage in N*ruto discourse even? I mean, you tried once, you saw how shitty ppl are then why insist? I get that ppl are social beings who want to discuss things they like, I really get it. But it’s obvious how this fandom (and all fandoms tbh) is, so wouldn’t it be better to keep it to yourself? Maybe do something creative like fic writing, drawing if you can, or writing your own essays about Sasuke&co, making sure you block everyone who bitches at you?
Cause idk, it feels the most rational option to stay in the fandom. Idk how long you’ve been into it but I was here when the ending came out and the word ‘discourse’ wasn’t used. I tried discussing, both ending and Sasuke related dynamics, then I realized it was useless, so I channeled my thoughts in my fics or whatever I have been doing since then, and I blocked everyone I found irritating. And it works. I just don’t care about what ppl think, I write for myself but opinions and fics, and the only moment I get angry is when my fics are criticized lol, cause ppl write in such a shitty way but they dare criticize openly or even worse, passive aggressively those who write better only because the fic is not how they’d like it to be lol. f*ck them. Actually I recently learned to ignore some person’s comments on a fic I wrote for another fandom, cause they are an author and they try so hard to be noticed by ‘constructively’ criticizing that fic for things that show they read it not attentively, so the best revenge is to ignore them. So I don’t understand why such simple thing doesn’t work for others.
Same for guilt...idk why someone would make someone feel guilty for liking Sasuke or certain dynamics. Cause if they succeed it means that they found some ‘internalized’ guilt that existed already, which I don’t get. I’m so very glad that reading my stuff you find it so similar to your thoughts...and this is smth that makes me think that if you write your own thoughts someone will feel the same and they’ll come to you. You never know who’s reading your stuff after all, and even though there’s plenty of ass*oles there are also fans who are desperate to find the good stuff lol. Lol it’s so cool to realize how some ppl appreciate something ‘controversial’ or weird, like a rarepair, or an opinion. And btw liking bottomSas isn’t either, it’s canon lol.
I’m glad you like my blog, as I was saying, and everything else, it’s cool to have the same thought process and thanks for not asking for updates, some fics like In Power...I won’t update anyway (I’m kinda bored of Itachicentric stuff and positive Itasasu), others I will when I have time and inspiration as I’m also writing for another fandom. But everything I left on hiatus had its ‘season ending’ so it’s ok I guess. Maybe lol. Ugh I’m sorry but I don’t understand how some authors can be so quick and productive while I need so much time lol
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eccentricverbicide · 5 years
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I keep saying goodbye, huh?
There’s a lot to be said against tumblr, and rightly so. What started off as a micro-blogging platform and an innocent home to groups of people with similar interests has evolved into something beyond anyone could ever predict. It’s an echo-chamber for some, a constant source of bullying to others, or a platform for certain people to safely spew toxic and destructive concepts and ideas. The constant barrage of self-deprecating and fatalistic humour has made many people transform from a source of light and energy to jaded and sullen individuals. None of us were ever meant to process so much of the same or similar depressing content to such excess. It saturates us, and makes it impossible to think about much else even when we aren’t scrolling through the never-ending blue screens. So I decided to call it quits. I was tired of being exposed to all this every day. Sure, I get to see a good meme or two, but at what cost? I was always sad about my own life, and constantly reading about the sadness in the lives of strangers in a weird way to validate my own sadness was not helping. Constantly complaining about my own health and heartbreak was making it impossible for me to heal and move on, and I was feeling trapped by my own addiction to having a safe space to think negatively. 
However, I do have to thank tumblr for one thing: the friends I made over the past 7 years on here. They’re some of the smartest, most creative, and loving people I have ever met, and although I wish the circumstances of us meeting were better, I am so extremely grateful that I got the chance to get to know them anyhow. We created our own little community out here, and within all the sadness and darkness, there was always a little light in the form of their friendship. Their thoughtful words, their kindness, and their straight-up brutal jokes brought me so much comfort in the most difficult times, and I don’t know how to properly articulate how grateful I am, so I’ll leave it at that and hope they understand what I’m feeling. 
Ever since the whole female-presenting-n*ppl*s drama, most of these friends have disappeared from tumblr, and my dash is like a barren wasteland now, but before everything goes away and dies, I just wanted to put this out there. I don’t want us all to leave tumblr on a completely bitter note. I want to be able to remember that it wasn’t always bad, that sometimes it was great - there was laughter, and community, and lots of jokes; and I don’t want those memories to die with a social media platform, corporations be damned. I’ll always remember the good times, and I hope this isn’t a goodbye forever. That would suck.  
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monolid-monologues · 5 years
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Wtf is going on - Part I.
#12.
READY OR NOT..............
The next three weeks feel impossible. 
My KNEES are KNOCKING.
TOO MUCH IS HAPPENING
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m losing my mind lol. I’m going to take myself through this week by week. Breaking up my next 3 blog posts into a Three part series, and i’m going to slowly tread wtf is going on.
1.) MY JOB, MY LIFE
Karina and i drove LA >> Oakland >> LA in one day to audition for 5 minutes. LoL. We’re crazy and we know that. The troubling fact is this job means quitting my current one and moving to Oakland.
In February at the festival in Oregon, we were invited to audition for Kaiser Permanente’s Educational Theatre. They employ actors to perform shows for kids.
It pays more than my current job. It is less stable than my current job.
I’m TERRIFIED of having *that* conversation with my dad, and my office.
Desperate to avoid a serving job (having worked them since i was 16), i approached my dad for a job at his company. He knows about me and theater. He knew to be cautious. He asked me commit 2 years. I promised my dad 2 years; it’s only been 6 months. There’s a voice in my head chiding me for even considering this new opportunity.
And part of me is very very resistant to the reality of this new opportunity. Moving to Oakland means moving away from Robin, from Heather, from my studio, from all the work i’ve been doing in L.A to lay down some roots. Working full time at a corporate theater. Suffering bay area rent. Potentially losing my dad’s support (he is helping me with car and insurance payments). And pouring so much time into someone else’s theater. And potentially neglecting my own dreams -- risk of being too burnt, busy and broke to manifest my own theater projects. Not to mention all my fears around the importance of artistic freedom to me and needing to comply with a higher authority for paycheck’s sake (literal nightmare). And i just, might, very well, possibly, end up hating the job. 
I fear breaking my promise. Going back on my word. Owning up to the fact that i am not the loyal bitch we hoped i was. I fear these feelings of betrayal. I fear upsetting my dad and losing his support. I fear the disrespect i am slamming on my director & cecillia’s time and energy and trust in me. I fear that there is no “good” decision, but i can see Regret sitting atop my worst case scenario and i’m afraid that it doesn’t even really matter how things go, whether i stay or go, it’s all a sticky situation. 
If i get the job, but don’t go, i am still at the office. Sitting. So much sitting............clutching my small studio time like the life jacket it is...
If i get the job and want go, well, fuck, that’s a lot of, fuck. Can i put my independent theater dreams on hold? Is this experience worth pursuing? Is it worth upsetting my entire life here? Wow. Since when did i get so attached to my life here? I’ve worked so hard since i’ve been here, to seek, and seek, and plan, and build. I’ve been planning for my life here in L.A. I NeVER imagined relocating this soon. Turning my life upside down when i’ve literally JUST managed to get it looking right-side-up. f$&%@#$!
OKAY Normally, i’d wait to see if i got called back to start worrying. But this opportunity requiring 600 mile drives, requiring me and karina to rearrange chunks of our lives, to even be considered for the job, makes every step in the audition process so costly o_o.  We’re asking ourselves “if we do get called back, how are we even going to get there?”  We’re investing and sacrificing for a huge Maybe. Even pursuing the possibility is TOO MUCH!!!! yet here we are. Why? Why am i this crazy about a maybe?
L.A.’S BEEN GROWING ON ME. AND I MIGHT NOT GET THE JOB. LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID -- 
Tomorrow, we will find out if we’re called back. If we’re called back, the one thing i need to do (the scariest fkn thing ok) is ask for another day off (to secretly attend). If god blesses me with a Yes and my director is NOT fed up with my bullshit, the next thing is figuring out how tf to get there.  And that’s it. That’s it. That’s it. For now.
* * *
An interlude.)
What changes when i decide i’m tired of doubting myself? Staying off social media is a great relief. I stepped back because i was starting to carry some duty to entertain or cater to the tastes of the people who engage with what i post. The anxiety that begins to stir between myself and thoughts of people far away -- with heavy social media comes this baggage we pick up and hold nearly voluntarily. 
Just as we are curious how someone else’s life is going, we imagine other people are curious about ours. 
We second-guess what we want to post.  When it’s about what we want to share in the first place. How anybody receives it is their business. Leave them tf ALONE, LOL. Leave YOURSELF alone!
If it’s your career, you chase one of few formulas. If it’s your hobby, you draw from these formulas and mix in your personal flavor of “idgaf”. And if it’s mostly irrelevant to what you do/what you want, you’re not even bothered. *shrug* 
Every fuckin body will tell you, people who don’t frequent social media are happier. 
Do you think so? Do we think so?  I’m skeptical.  It’s easy to believe, given how much (admit it) time and attention social media sucks. But actually? Let’s be clear: who can know? Lol. The very point around people who don’t use social media is they are beyond the reach of our prying eyes. They are safe, much less susceptible to the wandering imagination of a distant relationship. They are out of bounds. 
Sometimes i wish i was that kind of person. Whoever that means.
I’m not. 
There’s something about getting to show something to hundreds of people. There’s something about connections waiting to be made. Paths that could cross. Click-holes where we lean outside of our usual environments. We are open to exposure and being exposed. We are creative with our public image. We narrate our own lives. We seek others’. ThaT PART. That part. “I will engage!!!!!!!!!!” 
Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with social media?
What does that look like?
There’s so much in our culture that discourages social media use - from mental health to physical health - we are told every day what the pitfalls are. We know it ourselves in living our lives. The common denominator to these warnings is usually over-consumption. Too much. Much too much.
If we are using social media, we are at risk. We know the risks. We live with the risks. ALAS -  we believe we can manage the time/space distortion that the social media universe rips into our lives. 
With social media comes this massive gravitational pull sucking us into a manufactured world. This tech, as far as i’m concerned, insanely complicates our lives - adding data to bodies, instant X long distance everything, and a level of productivity concerning online metrics that is often inversely proportional to our productivity offline. 
The most estranged relationships continue to fizzle quietly with mutual following. Our brains buzz “To post or not to post”. And our eyes are getting tired, our thumbs sore; our time and attention sinks and slips away from us. Like retribution for the discontent, disinterest, and laziness we risk habituating with social media.
We give access and have access and the ride is crippling or energizing depending on whatever people or time in your life. 
Do the rewards outweigh the risks?
* * *
II. SHOWTIME
IT’S GO TIME.
While i’m floundering in the dark about my job, my life, March is ending soon and come April comes the premiere and one-month-run of my new production, 1-800-PERFECTION. 
This is my first show in socal. My first show outside of Davis. My first full solo work. My first script-based PLAY in YEARS.
March Timeline:
meeting with studio manager to settle performance dates (today)
last full rehearsal (3/24 SAT)
tech rehearsal with Heather (3/30 SAT)
preview performance w/ talk back (3/31 SUN) YOU’RE INVITED. [email protected] | please come! TIME: 1-3pm LOCATION: 1183 Kraemer Blvd, Anaheim, CA
April Timeline:
Dress Rehearsal  (week 1, TBD)
1st Show (week 2, TBD)
2nd show (week 3, TBD)
3rd Show (week 4, TBD) Tickets: $12 venmo  (seat reserved) or $10 cash at door (exact change!!!)
My radical marketing plan is to do it in person.  I wanna shit my pants thinking about it, but i’m determined to go out there into public places and invite people to my show face 2 face. I will certainly let you know how it goes. The experience may turn up a giant dumpster fire. :-)
Common questions when opening a new work include: what if ppl hate it? what if i hate it? what if no one comes? what if this is the end of my reputation as an artist as we know it? as i know it? what if i’m not ready? 
What if i didn’t rehearse enough? THIS ONE’S BEEN HAUNTING ME.
My best friend asks me how long i’ve been working on this play. I tell her i can afford 20 hours of studio time a month. It’s been almost 4 months now. And then she’s like, isn’t 20 hours...less than a day?  *brain explodes* Have i only worked on my show for LESS THAN 4 DAYS? IS IT LIKE THAT? 
It has been living, growing, changing with me day to day. But of course, 20 hours is really it of dedicated work time/space. 5 hours a week. 
I am used to working 30 hours per weeeeeek on a show.  that’s what i’m used to.
....................................................
I remember when i first found this studio offering exactly what i was looking for and could afford, i was ELATED to get 20 hours a month. Considering the ZERO work i was doing my first 2 months back in LA -- Getting 1 step closer to where i would be today - on the cusp of running a whole original ass show - was mooooreee than enough. 
But this is honestly one worry out of SO MANY, literally so many, that it’s all looking - sounding - and feeling increasingly ridiculous. because there’s just so much. *laugh cry emoji* * * * I’m never going to forget what i signed up for. Everything on my plate, i set up for myself.
Was i ready for all of this? No. Did i dream this up and seek its fruition? Hell yes. Even i know that only time will tell me What was What.  So, i will take it one fkn day at a time.
Maybe this is a lesson to follow your dreams no matter what, precisely BECAUSE you’ll never be ready for it. I can’t imagine being ready for what i’m going through these days. There’s no fucking way i could’ve known how stickyyyy things could get when i made my first studio payment in December, or asked my dad for a job in October.
But go through with it, we will, because we’ve reached the point where we must. I’m. Not. Looking. Back.
BUT I AM REALLY TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH WHILE I’M WHIZZING ACROSS THE STATE AND PREPARING ALL THE SHOW THINGS. WISH ME SOME HONEST LUCK ON THAT.
So, I don’t have a dramatic poignant closer for you on this one. Let’s, uh, give that to Part 3, when we wrap this whole mess up. (ie. is Oakland rlly happening? how was canvassing the brea mall to advertise my show LMAO? did i lose my damn mind, or nah?)
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Hi.  I just want to say, thank you for reading. Really. thank you.
I think my writing is suffering from the craziness atm.
* * *
i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week.
previous letter: #11. detox,
drop me a line
http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask
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verumaeternus · 5 years
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gonna go on an unfollow spree to clean up my standing mutuals vs those that i don’t really see myself pursuing anymore either because we’ve never interacted or we interacted a handful of times and we havent interacted in 2+ months
obviously i’ll be more lenient on ppl that are away from home for school or those whose jobs require demanding hours from them, but for the most part i’m just kinda tired of putting myself out there for people who don’t seem to be all that interested in actually writing with me. 
additional note: this only applies to this blog. even if i have 7 bnha blogs, i treat each and every one like an individual ecosystem, so even if i don’t see us interacting on here very much, that doesn’t mean i automatically dislike you/your character across all my blogs. it’s exclusively just to keep hari’s dash clean.
as always, i am  n o t  follow for follow i would at least appreciate if ppl i’ve been mutuals with for 4+ months would interact with my ic posts and memes without simply digging their teeth into my starter/inbox calls exclusively so that they can interact with me and put in 0 effort towards actual plot development. 
if you’ve followed me within the last 1-2 months, don’t worry; you’re safe.  but this is your warning that, hey, i’m not here to fluff up your follow count and when i have 15+ people talking to me like they love my writing, it’s just more than a little disappointing to see them ignore me for someone with nicer formatting/writing, you know?
if i unfollow you, however, and you feel that it was a mistake (and genuinely still want to interact) please message me privately either through inbox or ims.
just because i unfollow doesn’t automatically mean you’re blocked and 86′d completely. it just means i’m tired of setting out opportunities for others to interact with me on their own and don’t wish to put myself out for someone who seems disinterested in interacting with me.
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woozi · 3 years
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henlo yza <3 ,
hdjdkd i don't really have much knowledge abt different techniques & kind of dances so when the steps match the lyrics i'm like '!!! wow yes i love it' fhdjdjskks also bc i've grown up watching these kind of dances only so my that's what i tend to notice first hdjdjddk it is also one of the reason why i decided to stan svt dwc, oh my, thanks & our dawn is hotter than day's choreo details really impressed me.
maybe vincenzo is your svt club & ur so valid for that <3 hddjdjekek also pls don't say sorry!! you can talk abt it as much as you want i like knowing what you think. i'll let you know how was it for me when i complete it. & no homecha hasn't ended yet (idk if there are 16 or 14 eps i haven't checked) it does come on weekends, counting this sunday's ep, we're at 12th rn.
i get that fjdjdkkd i used to be the same 😭 always waiting for dramas to end so i can binge watch because not knowing what happens next would kill me. but idk when this happened, my will to watch anything died down bc the eps are just there, available for me to watch anytime. im like 'i'll watch it next time' but next time never comes 💀. this year i've watched no-air ones only hdjssj very surprising for me ( also my wack memory & svt content supports me by forgetting abt it after weekend ends dhdjdkkd) anyway i'm very excited to see how you like homecha!
CHURCH BOY JOSH HDHDJDDKKSLSDJ church boy josh, cringe domestic boy, joshua numbers. we've come up with so many nicknames for him in few asks only 😭😭 dbdjksksk deserve actually. BUT SO TRUE I STILL HAVE NO WORDS FOR HIM. THAT WAS- JUST- WOW OKAY WE SEE YOU 😭😭and dino lip piercing and hoshi eyebrow slit..... so sexy of them. cb concept pictures haven't come out yet & they're already shinning!! love to see that. also now we have gyu and hoshi's wedding reception pictures & cottagecore hannie (with that collarbone picture right in middle >:( wth mister but also hbd ig <3) being added in the equation.
IM CRYINGGGGGG THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY ARE SO CUTE NOO 😭😭💔 HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE COVERS WTH (being the ex-directioner and all dhdjkdsksk). I SMILED SO WIDE WATCHING THEM <///3 it's been so long since i heard one thing wow lol. but! this means they know who zayn is. thank you for this jdjssk this is going to keep me happy for some time hdjdke. SUNDAY MORNING EHJEJEKE 😭 thank you <3 dndjdj
IKR???? IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CB I'M ALSO EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU. agreee truly bless svt for helping keeping us from losing it over life (by making us lose it over them) tbh sometimes it worries me too with the way contents keep dropping but just now in these unit interviews being released, perf unit shared how they have ppl who encourage them to be okay with their tiredness. things like that put me at ease. hope they rest well from time to time too. honestly just looking at their tour schedules i used to get tired because these dudes used to have more shows and less day offs and some of them being used to just move from one city to another. i hope in coming years pledis changes that lol.
sameee for the poster release hdjdkeek. also even though there was scheduler, i forgot abt the concept trailer 😭 it was raining & bcoz of that power was out as well & i don't use data dhdjdkdk. i think 5 minutes after 12 kst power came back (you can say joshu's sparkler brought it back hdjdjdks) it literally left me speechless. yk that meme ' everyone remembers what they were doing & where they were when it happened ' that's me & you with this cb hfjdkd honestly that's everyone with this cb me thinks.
seventeenies bringing the grass to you w their posts djdjkd ( btw you can always tell me if silly little jokes get out of hand i wouldn't ever like to make you uncomfy) but seriously i hope uni doesn't give you hard time. don't worry much just keep moving forward, at some point whatever is making you feel stuck will move away eventually.
is it that obvious? 😭😭😭😭 no i don't like rain at all dhjddk (i actually didn't dislike it as much during teens) mostly because road drainage system sucks here & we live in lower area so even moderate rain causes water logging. i'd give you some rain but this one's bad so i won't </3 ( as if i could if it were the good one 💀) stay hydrated!!! drink two sips of water everytime you hear dino laugh, i hope it cools a little soon.
that's what being on tumblr since 2012 does to you 😭 ALSO UR SO FUNNY PLS, SO ARE THE MEMES YOU USE FOR ASKS DJDJDKD. *hands you bunny headband dino* it's dangerous outside take this, you too stay safe out there 😭😭😭😭 love you too <3 and thank YOU for hanging out w me hehe :3, also dw tbh these asks have become one of the highlights for me now & i'm only using my free time excluding resting time, i hope you are too, no pressure at all! dw about being late - 🪂
ps - did i tell you i actually followed your svt blog around the time everyone was guessing your biases hddjkddj i sent mingyu & jeonghan dhdjdj that was my first ask :3 - 🪂
henlo, 🪂!! <3 <3 <3
honestly it doesnt matter to me tbh <3 if people enjoy the dance its all that matters!! and omg i can see that!! i love the svteenies always bring something fresh to the table
omg that means you're near the end 😭😭😭 i keep seeing gifs of it on my dash and it makes me feel a lil lovesick ngl HJFHJFHD why is it so TENDER????????????????
ok but that's so valid too bc that's me rn with in the soop.... i literally have not watched the 6th ep yet 😭 and i'm getting the feeling youre mentioning w swf now because i literally always look forward to tuesdays just for the next ep HJDHJDS also i am dumb what are no-airs HJDHJDHHD and ur not alone tbh <3 i have also been super forgetful lately and that is not like me fdhjdfjhdfhjdfhj we're rotting in this hellsite ig
love bullying him i just wanna know how he'd react if he gets upset <3 i dont think we've ever seen angry josh and i wanna make him angry sm HSDHJSDJ im glossing over dino lip piercing to directly go over hOSHI EYEBROW SLIT BC HELLO??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ive never really liked eyebrow slits but he makes them look so- i want him to hurt me HJDSHJDHJDS ALSO THE LATEST SET OF PHOTOS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD they're giving me what i've been asking for i love being here sm <3 soonyoung's so chummy w everyone have u seen his photos w jihoon last night 😭 he's literally tamed the actual tiger icb this. and no oh my god i do not Know what Collarbone Jeonghan is i have erased him from my memories thank u
HDSHDSJDSHJDS the ex-directioner is so funny to me 😭 i think we have all been there one way or another <3 and ofc omg <3 i'm glad my core svt memories make u happy HSDJHJDFHJHJDSF
they literally said escapism hELP ME 😭😭😭😭😭 i think they're also just workaholics in general. i would be too if i actually enjoyed what i did for a living 😭 and are we even gonna get tours in the near future.... this is so sad i havent even seen them irl </3
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG that's terrible, i hope u guys were okay though :/ AND NOT THE JOSH SPARKLER FDDHJFHDFHJFDHFDH now i have to think about him oh my god i think i passed out a little when eyebrow piercing josh came on screen and just full on blacked out when the match scene came on tbh 😭 JKSDJKDSKDS ITS LIKE THE PANDEMIC!!!!!!! WE WILL RMB!!!!!!!!!
ALSOO NOOO OMG i dont feel uncomf at all and u should also tell me if i do make u feel so <3 thank u for even mentioning that!! also love that they're Doing It All for us we dont even have to go out to touch grass anymore HJDSHJSDJ i've actually been v happy w uni omg!! just that i often feel stressed bc they give us sm things to do </3 thank u for ur kind words!!
that's the price of being an adult JDJSJKD now we gotta think of things like.. idk the effects of rain 😭😭😭 i used to even love it when it flooded as a kid HJDSHJSDHJ now i get anxious too!! i love all kinds of rain though so i wont mind JKKSDKJSDKJD just that other people might be affected </3 wish i had my own rain cloud on some kind of leash lmao. ALSO IF I DRINK WATER EVERY TIME I HEAR DINO LAUGH FDHFDHJDFHD gonna be bloated but hydrated af ngl
oh my gOD YOU WERE HERE SINCE 2012???? we're literally sick bestie <3 i genuinely think tumblr has changed something fundamental in me and my way of thinking has not been The Same as idk.. regular people ig JDSHJSDHJSD THE OFFLINE PEOPLE!! smth about tumblr is so <3 sick but also i love this hellsite so 😗 AND NOOO NOT THE MEMES FDHDFHJDF its my broken sense of humor and inability to convey emotions properly HHSDHJDSHJ
BUNNY HEADBAND DINO?????????????????????????????????????? honestly he'd bring me more harm than protection i'll say that much 😭
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that genuinely made me feel so warm & fuzzy, i always look forward to your messages too <3 <3 <3 i hope u always have good days u deserve it for being such a sweetheart
WAIT HELLO???????????????????????? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG THEN 😭😭😭😭😭 and im so impressed you didnt get weeded out ngl HFDHJFDHJFD icb you've been witnessing me going more ill everyday <3 ur a soldier
and u are partially correct abt mingyu & jh <3 at least during the time JSDJDSJKSDJK i think i've been desensitized to mingyu now but i still love him sm <3 he's just so cute and cutesy boys kinda infuriate me in an affectionate way so HJSDHJDSHJDSH
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groundramon · 6 years
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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet
PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)
EP 1:
- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.
- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.
- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get
- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)
- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY
EP 2:
- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now
- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.
- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)
EP 3:
- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them
- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:
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I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry
- ordinemon has the best reaction faces
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the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.
- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like
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she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now
EP 4:
- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened
- Cant believe mei is fucking dead
EP 5:
- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch
- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details
Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.
god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M
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DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK
anyways my problems:
1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.
2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.
3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.
I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”
It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.
I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.
Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.
I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.
However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...
Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.
It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.
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toycarousel · 6 years
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My sister came out as gay. I never liked her, even before she was gay. Infact i always hated her.I would do my best to avoid her in our small apartment. Family never cared. But now that she's out, they want me to magically love her again. that's not how it works. So they're forcing me into therapy to make HER feel better. Every meal and second in the house is them trying to guilt trip me, so I up and left a couple days ago. I don't know if I wana family anymore. I don't wanna go home. I'm tired
Hi, Anon! It sounds like you’re very certain that your dislike of her isn’t because she’s gay -- and it’s okay to dislike ppl who happen to be any sexuality.  You don’t have to suddenly like someone just because of their social status, if you just.  Never liked them as a person, you know? You shouldn’t be forced into therapy for something that’s not actually going on with you.  Like, being sent to therapy under the assumption that they’ll help you come to terms with homophobia (that isn’t there) is not going to be useful for you, because that’s not the issue.
However, I’m not saying that all therapy would be useless for you, but it sounds more like family therapy (in which all your family members attend, not just you), would make so much more sense, imo.  Because family therapy is more about learning how to get along with each other in general, and how to make compromises (even if that means that some people in the family agree to just leave you alone altogether).  
It really sounds like your whole family (rather, the ppl you’re living with, who are harassing you) could use that sort of therapy, because they’re not treating you fairly here.  They’re assuming that you don’t like your sister because she’s gay, and are ignoring the fact that there are solid reasons why you just don’t like her as a person -- reasons that have always existed.  I think it’s more important that all family members learn to understand each other, or, at the very least, give each other basic respect.  I don’t think it’s fair that one family member (you, in this case) is made to go under therapy alone, under the false assumption that the only possible reason you could dislike your sister is because she’s gay.  
Being guilt-tripped is not okay.  Family members should work together to find a solution for the actual problem -- your true reasons for disliking your sister.  That means that your sister needs to be willing to try changing the behaviour toward you that has caused you to dislike her (I’m assuming she doesn’t treat you so well?) 
I know how isolating this can feel... when your family members have decided something bad about you without truly talking to you, asking you how you actually feel, and working toward a genuine solution/compromise to that, so that you also can feel safe in that household.
I’m also really concerned as to where you’re staying now... are you somewhere safe, Anon? Do you have access to food, water, and shelter, as well as a place to sleep? Is there someone you’re able to stay with, like a trusted friend, or extended family? 
What your family is doing is wrong... but depending on your age and resources, you may need to go back (for the time being) just in order to be safe.  Adults, especially, take advantage of young people (whether younger adults, or minors) who have no other place to go... And I’m worried for you, regardless of your age.
If you do end up going back, though, I think it’s important that things change in some way.  You may have to open up to your family and/or therapist about the precise reasons why you don’t like your sister, in order to clear up their assumptions.  And it’s okay to do that (this is, of course, assuming you haven’t already).  If you have already, and they’re determined to not listen to you, and to treat you this way no matter what you say, then maybe set up a compromise.  Something like “I will go to therapy without complaint, if you all agree to not treat me as though I’m homophobic and not say things like (insert the statements they’ve used to guilt-trip you) while we’re in each other’s company.”
Now, I personally don’t think it’s fair that you should have to compromise like this (by forcing yourself to go to therapy, or do some other thing in order to gain your family’s basic respect).  Unfortunately, in order to survive, and cope with other people, offering them something in return for something else that you need from them is often a good way of just... safely coexisting with each other, until they’re willing to listen, or until you’re able to move out on your own and pick and choose when you see family members (and someday, hopefully soon, you will be able to choose when and how you see your family members, and which ones you see).
***In the meantime, because I’m definitely not an expert, and I didn’t have too much to offer you here in the way of advice (specifically professional advice, and resources), I’m going to link you to phone numbers for people who have run away, whose families aren’t treating them well, and general crisis hotlines/chatlines/forums.  Calling these numbers (or contacting the chatlines/forums, if you don’t feel comfortable calling), will ideally get you in touch with people who will have more suggestions, and more to offer~!!!!***
http://codedredalert.tumblr.com/post/109005732295/helpline-masterlist (there are a few of these that may be helpful, but there’s also a runaway line, which might be able to give you resources).
https://aminoapps.com/c/akf/page/blog/masterpost-for-hotlines/m0gw_xPTkuxaG8zGKDXx8PqxbjYZ2mYzdR
http://emergencycenter.tumblr.com/post/21697528038/just-in-case
https://www.1800runaway.org/ (I haven’t tested this one out myself, but it looks good from what I can see so far...)
Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help, if there are more resources you need, and/or if you just want to vent/talk!!! Stay safe, Anon.
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dayoung-remade · 6 years
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tea on all moon signs 👀 ,, and also i !! really !! love !! your !! blog !! my heart flips everytime u post ajhssjsjdj 😤💓💘💞💖❤
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Hey for the ask thing, all the questions you're comfortable with answering
oh boy!!! heck yeah fun shit thanks my dude! little did u Kno…… I LOVE oversharing !!! lmao muahahahahaha i’m probably gonna answer all of them thank u for enabling it lmfao
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
yah on Rly Bad days
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
like… 3.5? i like the dark but,,, ‘m Scare,,,,,
3. The person you would never want to meet?
Orange Turnip
4. What is your favorite word?
it changes tbh,, hm but i can’t think of any rn!
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
i’d be….. a nice oak! thicc and full of secrets
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
i didn’t lmao reflection what’s that
7. What shirt are you wearing?
i’m wearing the dress i wore to work
8. What do you label yourself as?
annoying or boring lmao but also the Goblin King and that is Good
9. Bright room or dark room?
i still don’t know if this is referring to like paint shade or like the amount of light it gets or like if i sleep in a bright room or dark room so like??? *shrug emoji*
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
i was?? drawing i think
12. Who told you they loved you last?
i think it was @wrenn-frug​ 💕💖 lov u fren!
13. Your worst enemy?
dunno man probably myself but that sounds cliche so like??? the sun bc it always burns me
14. What is your current desktop picture?
a screenshot from song of the sea!!! lOVE that movie!!!! i’d post it but like?? i don’t think i have it saved anymore or if i do i don’t feel like looking but it’s that one scene where they’re walking thru the pretty field towards the trees and there’s foxes in the corner and she’s playing the shell it’s so pretty,,,,,
15. Do you like someone?
uh yah my cat
16. The last song you listened to?
Young God - Halseygood song lov it,,,,
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
oraNGE TURNIP
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
orange turnip my dude i Hate
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
uh nobody ????
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
my squishy thighs and my fantastic stretch marks (which have taken me YEARS to accept)
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
No
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
????????????? secret???? talent?????? lemme check, ,, , , *reaches into a bag* nope bitch empt y aint got No Talent lmao
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
okay so like this is really dumb and i partially answered this in this ask abt the flushing toilets @ night thing but like to elaborate and make it even more dumb not only am i afraid to flush toilets @ night bc it’s just rly creepy and loud to me (esp if i’ve been asleep) but like,, , sort of in the same vein of fear is that when i was little my older sister told me that there was a ghost in the toilet and if i don’t flush it’ll get me and like i kno it’s not tru but like,,,,,, Sometimes,,,,,, (i must clarify i’m not scared of toilets themselves but like flushing freaks me out sometimes like @ night or if i don’t flush fast enough lmao don’t look @ me i’m a mess)
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
Excuse? is this like that i can ONLY eat this sandwich or is it that this is the only sandwich i can ever eat or like i can only ever have one last sandwich bc honestly i’m Not Okay with any of those scenarios no matter how many ingredients i get for the initial creation
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
Dream daddy dating simulator lmao uh?? also probably more food for archie bc he is Expensive
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Ireland probably. always wanted to see ireland
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
“Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out” like???? no???? if u don’t drink alcohol why would u want a lifetime supply??? unless i could like…. sell it??? whats the Most Expensive kind i’ll just get an unending supply of heavenly Expensive Alcohol to sell for incredibly inflated prices to the rich bc it’s From Heaven and give the money to the poor bc like,,, why not
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
bitches gotta keep they damn opinions to themselves if they can’t respect somebody’s life based on factors they can’t help (race, religion, orientation, gender etc) also no money like We Don’t Need It i’m so tired of Needing money
29. What is your favorite expletive?
Fuck bc u can use it in So Many situations
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
o shit probably the twenty dollar metallic watercolors i got bc shit son??? actually probably like my laptop or smth idk
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
my childhood thx
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
this is.. not a questionalthough it is a wonderful scenario
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
none of them bc if the celestial gates of the beyond is real then all the people i’d want to bring back are probably in a Better Place or something and why would i want to drag them to Hell?
34. What was your last dream about?
Cannot remember to save my life altho i kno it was rly weird and convoluted
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
u did not put anything Here so i will Ignore
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?
Nope
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
yAH it’s fun!
38. What is the color of your socks?
not wearing any
39. What type of music do you like?
A Lot
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets,,, evening is so nice mm m
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
chocolate ayyyy
43. Do you have any scars?
a couple but like for Dumb Reasons
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
I’ve graduated hs but i wanna be an animator when i decide which college to go to
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
my brain pls bartender can i have a Healthy One (correction to favorite word #4: fav word currently is deign)
46. Are you reliable?
i would like to think so
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
are you happy?
48. Do you hold grudges?
YAH but only if i’ve been Pushed Too Far which is Pretty Damn Far by most ppls standards
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
none I am Not a God
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
i have had So Many???? the most recent one was two times in a row random ppl i barely knew asked me for my netflix account bc they didnt have one and like…. bro what who R U,,,,, (i had literally only talked to the first guy once for ten minutes on fb)
51. Are you a good liar?
is the sky green? don’t think so
52. How long could you go without talking?
Very Long but like Only on Bad Weeks
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
None my hair is Magnificent (idk)
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
like birthday cake? never but i lov to bake cakes so like i bake myself cakes all the time
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
i am so bad @ accents i can’t even Read in my Head in accents even though i know what the accent Should Sound Like
56. What do you like on your toast?
peanut butter and banan slices
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
working on a picture of a tiger redraw
58. What would be you dream car?
a Bike bc i Do Not Like cars
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
i only sing in the shower when nobody is home (which is infrequent bc my mom is Always here) bc i am self conscious around most ppl but like Music,,,,, also when i was little i would pretend that i was standing in the rain all sad like in movies lmao
60. Do you believe in aliens?
yah
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
i follow an astrology blog and i read homestuck i mean,,
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
i??? A maybe bc there are a lot of ways to write it pretty idk but like specifically capital A ig
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Dragons they’re fire-breathing friends and i love them
64. What do you think about babies?
Gross
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
U Didn’t put anything Here either so like how abt i give u a random fact abt myself that seems good my favorite bird is the lammergeier bc they’re basically irl dragons and they’re so pretty??? love them??? also i hate monkeys and apes esp chimpanzes bc they are scary and too much like humans to me i don’t like them
BOY that took way longer than i thought bc i had to feed my cat halfway thru and everything and like this is a Long Post sorry guys but ayyyyy this was fun thanks ari
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