#I’m so sorry you went through similar bullshit but congrats on making it in the industry!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amythedvdhoarder · 4 years

Text

Three

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word count: 4.3K

Warnings: Swearing, little bit of drinking, quite angsty and fluffy

A/N: (gif not mine) So this is my incredibly late entry to celebrate @finleyjayne reaching 100 followers. Congrats hun you deserve it. So I picked the prompt ‘Feeling blue’ with Stucky. This is not beta read so I apologise now for any mistakes.

xxx

Bucky let out a heavy sigh as he rolled over to face Steve in bed. Another night filled with restless sleep, the extra body in the bed missing making it impossible to sleep easily.

“What’s up? Steve grumbled still half asleep.

“You know what,” Bucky replied wistfully.

Steve stretches out lazily before turning to face Bucky and smiling sadly. “We had to let her go, give her a chance at a normal life. She couldn’t have that with is Buck.”

“Why can’t she have a normal life with us Steve? Everyone accepts us? We could have settled down, got married, had a few kids. No one would have questioned it.” Bucky knew the tiredness was stopping him from keeping a lid on his emotions.

“You know that’s not true,” Steve reached for Bucky’s hand and pulled it to his lips briefly, “nobody outside of the team knew about the three of us. It wasn’t fair on her, you agreed at the time too. We let her go before it got too far and we couldn’t. We had 6 happy months together, let’s just remember that.” Steve tugged on Bucky’s arm, encouraging him to come closer. Bucky shuffled over and rested his head against Steve’s chest.

“I know, I just miss her. I love her so fucking much it hurts.” Steve closed his eyes as he felt that familiar stab of pain that Bucky was talking about. Bucky was everything to Steve, they had been through so much together. But you. You were like the missing piece of their jigsaw puzzle they hadn’t even realised was incomplete. You fitted them perfectly, after everything they had been through they were happier than they had ever been but they noticed you becoming more distant, spending nights back at your own place, then suddenly it was all over.

xxx

You missed Steve and Bucky like hell. They had woven their way into your life and now that they weren’t in it, you felt lost. The first time you met them they had come into the coffee shop you were working in. Bucky’s fingers had grazed over yours as you handed him his takeout cup and Steve’s eyes met yours making your breath catch. You witnessed the pair of them having a quiet conversation and them both sitting down at a table despite ordering coffee to go. They spent the rest of the afternoon at the coffee shop, chatting away, their eyes searching you out and finding you already smiling at them warmly. When you were finally closing up they asked you to join them for a few minutes.

They explained to you that they were a couple but were interested in spending time with you. Surprisingly you weren’t put off by the idea but in fact excited, so you accepted their dinner invitation. Two weeks later you found yourself in their bed and after that a permanent feature in their lives. You spent most nights with them at the tower. On your days off you would explore New York together, looking like a couple and their friend just having a day out. Not that it bothered you. You understood why Steve was never affectionate with you outside of the tower, he kept his distance. He had only just started to feel comfortable being out with Bucky in public. Bucky was different though, he had spent too much of his life not being himself to hide any longer. He would tease you with small lingering touches, not so innocent looks whilst nobody was watching and whispering naughty thoughts in your ears as you peered into shop windows.

Everything had been going smoothly until Steve had gone on a mission that lasted longer than expected. Before that point you hadn’t slept with either of them without the other being there or joining in. But during this week Bucky felt himself getting more and more stressed and in need of release so he called Steve and asked if it would be ok for you and him to sleep together. Steve agreed at the time but when he got back from his mission to find you and Bucky curled up with each other on the sofa his face told a different story. Of course, you instantly panicked believing you were driving a wedge between them which was the last thing you wanted to do. After you voiced you concerns to Bucky he told you that you were being daft but Steve’s demeanour changed around you.

From that point you began to distance yourself from the both, you made excuses to avoid spending time with even though it made you miserable. In that short 6 months you had fallen insurmountably in love with them but realised it had to end. Bucky and Steve were meant for each other, you cared about them too much to come between them. And after one short, teary discussion between the three of you it was over. You made your excuses about needing the chance to have a normal life where you could be open about your relationships, have some proper stability. It was all lies of course, something to avoid having to tell them the truth and potentially cause them more pain. Neither of them fought or argued with you, they looked a little ashamed but ultimately let you go.

Truth be told you missed all of the people from the avenger’s tower; Sam and Nat had become good friends of yours. They had tried to contact you after you left but you ghosted them, unable to have any sort of connection to anyone linked to Bucky and Steve. Your life seemed quieter, mundane and as you cleaned the coffee machine up for closing time you didn’t even notice when a new customer came in.

“Y/N?” the soft voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” you said moving towards the counter. “You want anything making?”

“Only if you’ll join me,” he smiled.

“I can’t. I need to close up and clean.” You could tell by the way his eyebrows raised that he wasn’t going to fall for your attempt to get rid of him.

“How about this. You lock up and I’ll help you tidy up. It’ll give us a chance to talk, I miss talking to someone who isn’t over 100 or a trained assassin.” Sam knew he had won when you burst out laughing.

“Fine, but only because I don’t want to clean up this place on my own,” you stuck your tongue out at him as you walked over to the door, clicked the lock shut and turned over the sign indicating you were now closed.

You and Sam chatted away for the next 30 minutes talking about this and that, both delaying the inevitable topic of the two super soldiers. You handed Sam his payment of a cappuccino and you sat down in an armchair opposite him, nursing your cup of tea.

“So, you gonna ask me how they are?” Sam asks an amused tone to his voice.

“Sam, I-“ he shakes his head at you.

“I’m gonna tell you anyway. Y/N they’re not good, they really miss you even if they won’t admit it to us. Bucky is miserable, he barely laughs, makes a joke. Hell, he has even stopped teasing me. For some reason he only wears this one red t-shirt all the time, he is refusing to wash it. Like it actually smells now. And Steve. Steve is worst. His mood swings would put an adolescent teenager to shame. One minute he is snapping at everyone, breaking open punch bags and the next he weirdly calm and this look of despair just washes over him.” Sam’s eyes fixed on your face.

His words had clearly had an impact, making him feel instantly guilty. Your bottom lip wobbling, eyes full of tears threatening to spill over. He jumped up out of his seat and wrapped a comforting arm around you. At this the damn broke and you descended into sobs.

“Shit, I’m sorry Y/N,” Sam crooned softly, taking the hot tea out of your hand and placing it on the table. “Take a couple of deep breaths for me,” he instructed. Once you had finally had your breathing back under control and wiped away your tears, he finally released you and sat back down opposite you.

“I’m sorry Sam,” your voice croaky and raw from the crying. “I just miss them, I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s like I’m hollow, does that sound crazy?”

“No, it doesn’t Y/N, I felt the same way when Riley died. The difference is they didn’t die, you could have them back in your life if that’s what you want?” he said solemnly.

“I would go back to them in a heartbeat Sam, but I just don’t think that’s what they both want,” you twisted the ring around your index finger.

“Did you not hear what I told you earlier? They’re lost without you,” Sam was thoroughly confused. His plan had been to try and talk you around to help you realise what a big mistake the three of you had made. Nat was having a similar conversation with Steve and Bucky right now, informing them what she had found out by following you around for the last week or so since you’d left. But now Sam had a feeling that there was a bigger issue at hand.

“I heard you but they’ll learn to live without me. They love each other completely, I don’t think there is room for me in all of that.” It was the first time you had admitted the truth aloud, it stung but it felt good to have finally got the big weight off your shoulders.

“That’s the biggest pile of bullshit I have ever heard,” Sam scoffed. Your head shot up immediately, your mouth open in shock. “You can’t seriously believe that?”

You were quiet for a minute, not sure how to respond. “You don’t know them like I do,” you replied quietly.

“You’re right, in some ways I know them better. I knew them before you, they were happy but it was nowhere near what they were like when you were with them,” he folded his arms content that he had won.

“See that’s where your wrong Sam. You remember that mission that Steve went on, every little thing that could go wrong did. Well when he got home something was different, he was more guarded around me. I think it was because me and Bucky got closer whilst he was away, he didn’t want me anymore. I was getting in the way,” you reasoned.

“Y/N, I was on that mission with him. We went through absolute hell and back. I was distant from everyone for a while. Did you know he nearly died?” he looked at the way your eyes widened to find the answer to that question. “So, no then. Well he did and do you know what he said to me?” You shook your head. “I’m quoting here. ‘Tell them both I love them. Tell Bucky to look after our girl’. If you were really getting in the way, why would he say that?”

You sighed. “I don’t know. But he didn’t stop me from leaving.”

“Did you tell them the real reason why you were leaving?” Sam asked already knowing the answer.

You shook your head.

“And people call me an idiot?” he scoffed. “Of course they let you go if that’s what they thought you wanted. You need to talk to them or at least see them and find out the truth.”

You picked up your tea and took a long gulp to avoid responding to Sam’s suggestion.

“Well whatever you decide you’re going to have to see them this weekend anyway?” he said smugly making you choke and cough as the now lukewarm liquid went down the wrong way.

“Sam what the fuck?” you managed to get out in between spluttering coughs.

“It’s my birthday party on Saturday, you promised you’d come ages ago.” He folded his arms at grinned.

“That was before,’ you stammered. “Besides, I’ve already said I’ll work another shift.”

“Liar,” he said getting to his feet. “Nat will come to yours and pick you up around 7. Think about what I’ve said Y/N. They really do miss you.”

You stood up followed him as he walked to the door. “Ok I’ll think about it. Don’t think I have much choice about Saturday, do I?”

Sam wrapped you up in a bear hug. “Nope, absolutely none.”

After you had locked up after Sam you sat back down and tried to process everything. Sam’s words played over in your head. There was no doubt that Bucky was missing you; he was wearing the shirt of his that you had slept in the last night you spent with them. It was Steve you were more sceptical about. If what Sam had really said was true then maybe Steve did care for you more than he let on. Perhaps some part of him doubted your affection and loyalty to them. There was no way to be sure except to see them. You just didn’t know if you were ready for that.

xxx

Nat showed up a whole two hours early with an array of outfits for you to pick from. She wouldn’t let you get something old and familiar out of your closet, she was determined to get you dressed up and into the party spirit. She only succeeded at one of those and by the time you both pulled up to the tower you were a complete bag of nerves.

“Will you quit fidgeting, you’re making me nervous,” Nat scolded you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled before pulling up the front of your dress. “Why a sleeveless dress Nat? They are so impractical.”

“Well -” she paused to twist the thin satin material at your hip, repositioning the perilously high thigh split, “- that may be true but I can guarantee one thing, those boys will certainly realise what they have been missing.”

You frowned at her and gave one final look over your appearance in the elevator mirror before the door pinged open into the loud and bustling party. She took your hand and led you to the bar where you were greeted by Sam who promptly handed you a drink. You knocked back the amber liquid quickly in an attempt to sooth your nerves, before anxiously scanning around the room for any sign of the two men you both longed and dreaded to see.

“Relax Y/N, they’re not here yet,” Sam leaned over and whispered in your ear. He gave you a small reassuring smile which mixed with warmth the alcohol was providing finally made you relax a little. Nat and Sam caught you up on everything that happened and the latest avenger’s gossip.

“Hey kid, we missed you. How’ve you been?” Tony walked up to you, his purple tinted glasses nearly falling of his nose as he threw his arms out to embrace you.

“Ok thanks,” you said quickly. “Great party as always Tones.”

“Well we have Mrs Stark to thank for that.” He turned to face Sam. “They’re gonna short-circuit when they find out she’s here,” Tony uttered, half amused before walking over to greet some other guests.

You rounded on Sam. “You didn’t tell them,” your voice low as you tried to control your emotions.

“Not exactly,” he shrugged. “Well guess we’re going to find out any second now,” he smirked at the entrance over your shoulder.

xxx

Bucky looked around the room, wishing at that moment that he could be anywhere else. He was walking towards the bar when he realised Steve was no longer walking next to him.

“Stevie?” he turned around searching for Steve and spotted him stood stock still, his eyes fixed on something across the room. Bucky walked back towards him and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Steve?” he said starting to get a little worried, he looked like he had seen a ghost. Bucky followed his line of sight and his eyes met yours across the crowded room. His breath caught in his throat and he could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage. He had thought of this moment every day since you had left and now that it was here he couldn’t quite believe it.

“Is she really here Buck,” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Bucky blinked and turned to Steve. “I think so. Steve, we have to …”

“I know” Steve said as he took Bucky’s hand and squeezed it.

When the men turned back around you had disappeared from sight. You saw them frantically searching for you but you had managed to tuck yourself behind a group of shield agents. At the sight of them part of you wanted to run to them and throw your arms around them and never let them go but there was still doubts niggling away in your mind. One thing was for certain, Sam was right. Bucky did look sad and Steve. Well Steve was the one you hadn’t ever been able to get a read on before and still couldn’t now.

“Y/N seriously, hiding from them?” Nat shook her head at you.

“Well you found me so I’m clearly not hiding am I,” you sassed.

“You certainly won’t be in a minute” she smiled deviously before standing on her tip toes and waving at the two super soldiers.

“I fucking hate you Nat,” you hissed.

“No you don’t. If you’re still planning on hiding I would move now, they’re on their way.” You stuck your middle finger up at her and then scarpered. Sure, you were going to have to face them at some point tonight but you planned on having at least another couple of drinks before that.

Mid-way through your first vodka and coke a tall red-headed man approached you and Bruce as you were chatting at the bar.

“Hi, I was wondering if you wanted a dance. Seems a shame to be hiding that dress over here at the bar,” Bruce bit back a laugh as did you at the corny line but none the less you agreed.

You let the man who introduced himself as Tom, take your hand and lead you to the dancefloor. Thankfully the song was slow so you didn’t have to worry about your dress slipping down. Tom placed his hands lightly on your waist as you held onto his shoulders, gently swaying to the music.

Midway through the song he leaned over and whispered quietly in your ear. “Do you have any idea why the winter soldier looks like he wants to kill me?”

Your grip on his shoulders tightened. “Bucky,” you corrected. “No, I have no idea,” the tone of your voice sharp. As you spun around your eyes landed on Bucky who was gripping onto the glass tumbler in his hand so tightly you were surprised it hadn’t smashed. It was often that you saw this side of him but it sent a shiver down your spine. Your eyes sought out Steve who you assumed would be with Bucky but you couldn’t find him.

“Mind if I cut in?” a familiar voice spoke softly whilst still managing to carry an air of absolute authority.

Tom stood still and turned to look up at the blonde man. “Sure thing Sir,” he stuttered, “thanks Y/N,” and with that Tom backed away and nearly ran from the dancefloor.

“That was mean,” your hands fell to your hips as you scowled at Steve. “Plus, do I not get a say in this?” His blue eyes flashed with panic briefly but then that classic Steve Rogers look of determination reappeared.

“So, what do you want Y/N?” you could sense the double meaning behind his question. “Because I know what I want Y/N,” he continued, his blue eyes boring into yours taking a step closer.

“Steve I…” you closed your eyes and bit down on your bottom lip trying to find the words you wanted to say. A calloused hand cupped your jaw and you opened your eyes as Steve traced the tender flesh of your lower lip. The sound of the party disappeared and all that remained in that moment was you and Steve. Instinctively you pressed your hand on top of Steve’s and inched yourself closer to him.

“I wish this were simpler Steve but it’s not,” you hadn’t even realised you were crying until Steve removed his hand and quickly wiped away the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“This was never going to be simple Y/N. But all I know is that I love you. These last few weeks have bit a shit show. I didn’t say it enough before but if you’ll have me then I will spend every day showing you exactly how much.”

“What about Bucky?” you asked quietly.

“What about me doll?” Bucky had walked up to the pair of you, a lop-sided grin on his face.

“You two are meant to be together. I don’t want to get in the way of that,” you looked from Bucky’s face to Steve’s.

“You can’t seriously think that Y/N,” Steve said moving forward to try and get closer but you took a step back.

“I know that when you came back from that mission everything felt different,” your voice cracked as you tried to make Steve understand.

Steve’s face fell at your words. “I was scared Y/N. I realised on that mission how important you were. How much we needed you. When I saw you when I got back with Buck, I realised that you deserved so much more than someone who might not come home one day. You’re worth more than that. I was scared you were going to figure it out and leave. So, when you started pulling away I let you because I thought that was what you wanted, what would make you happy. Even if it meant we weren’t,” Steve rubbed the back of his neck.

“And you,” you rounded on Bucky, “did you think the same thing?”

“Y/N you didn’t seem happy and I thought we were to blame; doesn’t that sound familiar?” he was right of course. “All I know is it sounds as if you have been as miserable as we have. Doll, we’re not us without you. We’re a team. You, me and Stevie. We’re all yours if you’ll have us?” he shrugged.

“Maybe you need us to convince you?” Steve closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours with a softness you hadn’t expected. You felt yourself melt against him as his hands found the nape of your neck and held you to him, your lips moving against his as you became reacquainted.

When he finally managed to tear himself away from the sweet taste of your lips, his cheeks were flushed and his ragged breath matched your own.

“My turn,” Bucky stepped over, his hand moving to the back of your head as he crashed his lips to yours. The intensity of the kiss had both of you moaning against each other’s mouths. You wrapped your arms around him, not wanting to let go but you had to eventually.

You stood breathless looking between the two super soldiers who owned your heart, your mind made up.

“Yes,” you smiled.

Bucky was grinning like a kid of Christmas morning but Steve didn’t allow himself to celebrate to soon. “You sure about this Y/N because we won’t ever let you go again,” he said.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” and you meant it. You couldn’t imagine a version of your life without Bucky and Steve in it. “Now get over here,” you giggled at the look of pure joy on Steve’s face.

Steve was on you in a second, picking you up off your feet and pressing kisses all over your face. Bucky came up to the pair of you and took you out of Steve’s arms to repeat the whole process all over again before leaning over to give Steve a quick kiss.

Bucky finally slid you down his body back onto the floor and Steve cupped your cheek and was about to lean down to kiss you again until Sam interrupted.

“Um guys, as much as I am enjoying the reunion maybe you wanna, you know, take this somewhere a little less...” Sam waved his arm around at the crowd of people around you.

You hid yourself in embarrassment behind Bucky’s shoulder. “Sorry” your voice muffled by Bucky’s suit jacket, but you knew it was loud enough for them to both hear it.

Steve laced his fingers with yours and pulled you to face him. “What are you sorry for doll,” he stroked the side of your cheek with the back of his finger.

“I know you didn’t want people to know about us,” you looked down at the floor.

“I got nothing to hide doll. I love both of you and that’s all that matters,” he squeezed your hand and turned to Bucky. “Let’s get outta here.”

“Been waiting all night for you to say that Punk,” Bucky grinned.

He took your other hand and lead you and Steve out of the party. None of you caring what people may have been saying about the three of you, only caring about the fact that you were all together again, just how it was meant to be.

Taglist is open. Let me know if you want in or out 😊 (it is quite possible I missed someone 😬 just dm me)

@stargazingfangirl18 , @silentcoyotesong, @queenofstarliqht, @buckys-henley, @lonelyheartsm @alexa-lightwood-blog, @angrythingstarlight, @drabblewithfrannybarnes, @rogueheretic555 @rebekahdawkins @chrissquares @pumpkin-and-pine, @hereforbuckyandsteve, @drakelover78, @baddie-barnes @its-izzys @thehumanistsdiary

#rainbowwritingchallenge #stucky x reader #stucky x you #steve rogers #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #steve x reader #stucky imagine #marvel #marvel fanfics #marvel imagine #bucky fluff #steve fluff #fluff

581 notes · View notes

st4rlabsforever · 3 years

Text

post-episode 3 fix-it

words: 2.9k

notes: i started a long fic based on this post after watching ep 3. i cannibalized some snippets from another fic i wrote last week so if you see similar scenes, that’s why. i think this will end up being 12-15k words endgame sambucky by the end, but i refuse to post on ao3 until it’s complete. this is the first 3 scenes. feel free to comment and message me your thoughts since i’m still very much in the writing phase :)

summary: “It’s the kind of statement that should be screamed into Bucky’s face, but he’s learning that when Sam’s angry – when he’s truly angry – he’s just as soft-spoken as he is when he’s in one of his pensive moods. And he lets his anger build and build and build until it bursts in spectacular fashion.”

“I didn’t back Steve on the Sokovia Accords,” Sam says unprompted one day. They’re so close to apprehending the Flagsmashers and wrapping up this ridiculous saga.

“I don’t follow,” Bucky says.

“I was the one who refused to sign it first. Not Steve.”

Sam says it so softly that Bucky has to strain to hear him. Sam is loud and chatty and half the time he keeps up a constant stream of chatter just to get on Bucky’s nerves, but Bucky’s coming to realize that when he really wants to make himself heard, he’s soft spoken and mild. Bucky doesn’t entirely follow his train of thought, though.

The thing is, Sam is unreadable when it really matters. He offers words of comfort where needed – in Germany, after seeing Walker with the shield that wasn’t his, knowing that it had affected Bucky just as much as himself; in Madripoor, Bucky’s hand on the throat of some henchman or other, Sam’s hand on his when the Soldier’s memories threatened to overtake him; even in Riga, when Bucky’s guilt over releasing T’Chaka’s killer bubbled to the surface and Sam had checked in with him even though he couldn’t have possibly known about Bucky’s meeting with Ayo. Sam speaks with his eyes, always a searching look that leaves Bucky raw and feeling like he’s been x-rayed. I see you, is what those eyes say.

In contrast, Bucky’s words of comfort feel hollow. He knows that Isaiah is still a live wire for Sam, checks in with him after Madripoor when he can tell the conversation with Nagel weighs heavy on his mind. But he doesn’t see the way Sam does. He knows he’d missed something important because that conversation had ended in an argument and a threat from Sam to destroy the shield.

He never gets a chance to ask Sam what he’s getting at, because Torres signals to them that they’re at the drop point before all hell breaks loose.

***

In the end, after Karli and the Power Broker and whoever else decides to show their head from the emporium of supervillains are dealt with and they finally have a moment of peace, Bucky says, “The shield looks good on you.”

Sam freezes a few paces ahead of Bucky, the shield strapped loosely to his wrist.

“We make a good team,” Bucky says softly.

What he doesn’t expect is for Sam to whirl around suddenly. The look of barely restrained fury is enough to nearly knock Bucky off he’s feet. They fight without ever really fighting all the time, squabbles over who went left and who went right and who was supposed to lead and who was supposed to follow, but never has he seen Sam look like this before. The fury verges on hurt and it’s so fucking visceral that Bucky can barely breathe.

“You don’t get to say that,” Sam says quietly. His voice shakes and he closes his eyes like he’s steadying himself.

“I said I’d squash it until the mission was over, and I did. But you know what? I’m not doing this anymore.”

“Sam–”

“You don’t get to tell me what a good team is. Not after all the shit we just went through. You invited yourself to Munich, and I thought, ‘Fine. I could use the extra set of hands.’ We went through it together against Thanos and I respected that.”

Sam shakes his head. “But then you went off on some lone wolf woe-is-me bullshit, and look at where it got us. You broke Zemo out without even asking if I was down with that. You knew I wasn’t and you forced my hand. Now I’m an accomplice.”

“He was our only lead–”

“Bullshit. That field trip to Madripoor led us right back to Karli. Torres ended up tracking them to Riga anyway.”

“But the Power Broker–”

“–showed his ugly face in the end. All we got out of Madripoor was you digging up your trauma and us getting our faces plastered all over the internet. I promised Sharon one goddamn thing and I can’t even deliver on that now.”

“But I went along with it, fine,” Sam continues. “I knew it couldn’t have been easy reaching back into that headspace, doing what you did to Selby’s men.” The memory blindsides Bucky. “So I tabled it.” Sam taps out a tally with his fingers.

“And back in Baltimore, you’d been too keyed up about Steve being wrong about you to even listen to what I had to say. Again, I tabled it.” Another tally.

“I’ve been meeting you halfway this entire time, man, and I’ve gotten near nothing in return. You kept Isaiah a secret from me, and at first I thought you were just clueless about how damn significant it would’ve been for me to know about him.” Sam shakes his head.

“But then we met him. You saw what they did to him. The one Black supersoldier – a fucking hero – and look what they did to him. You saw it with your own eyes and you still sat there and lectured me about what you thought I should’ve done with that goddamn shield.”

“There’s precedent for it, you know,” Sam says. It takes Bucky a moment to realize Sam is expecting an answer.

Bucky doesn’t know, is the thing. He feels like he’s all of five years old again, put on the spot. He’s reminded of when Zemo just had to let him know about the African American experience; he’d felt chastised and embarrassed enough to pretend like he’d had any clue what themes lurked in Marvin Gaye’s work. Sam just searches him with those eyes, searches Bucky for something yet unfathomable and decides he hasn’t found it. That hurts more than anything else; Bucky wishes he could sink into the ground, make himself as small as possible. Sam doesn’t notice, or else doesn’t care, and just plows on with a scoff.

“You don’t even know the true history of the country you’re living in. Figures.” He shakes his head. “You’re not ever going to be able to separate the shield from the history Black folks have endured at the hands of this country. Not now, not ever.”

Sam doesn’t even look angry anymore. Angry, Bucky can deal with. It would be a relief, even.

Instead, Sam looks at him with a disappointment that somehow surpasses what Steve could have ever accomplished.

“Whatever. I tabled that, too,” Sam says. “And then after Madripoor, after we heard that doctor go on and on about Isaiah’s blood like he wasn’t even a real human-being? I said my piece and all you did was throw that shield bullshit back in my face.”

“Sam–” Bucky tries again. He’s mortified to hear the crack in his own voice.

“It’s honestly breathtaking,” Sam says with something that might be akin to genuine wonder, or maybe even morbid curiosity in his voice. “We saw the same things in Baltimore and Madripoor, but your head was so far up your own ass that you never once stopped to think all of it was just proof to me. That the shield in the hands of a Black man wouldn’t make any damn sense.”

It’s the kind of statement that should be screamed into Bucky’s face, but he’s learning that when Sam’s angry – when he’s truly angry – he’s just as soft-spoken as he is when he’s in one of his pensive moods. And he lets his anger build and build and build until it bursts in spectacular fashion.

Sam’s not even done yet. “And that’s another thing. Stealing the shield from Walker…” Sam rolls his eyes at the memory. “You want to run around with that giant frisbee, fine. That’s your business. But then you forced it on me–”

“That’s not fair,” Bucky says immediately. Desperately. “You didn’t have to accept it.”

“The whole damn country was watching,” Sam says hotly. “It was either accept it, or shit all over Steve fucking Rogers’s legacy and make myself into the villain half the country was already hoping I’d turn out to be.”

“You were dead wrong for that,” Sam says. “I stuck around until we took down Karli because it was the right thing to do. After Munich, though, this little adventure was all you. Zemo, Madripoor, the shield.”

Sam shoves the shield into Bucky’s arms, the impact so sudden that it forces him back a step.

“Since you’re so obsessed with this thing, it’s yours. Congrats,” Sam says sarcastically. “I’m sure you’ll do it proud.”

Bucky lets out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.

“For what it’s worth,” Sam says, “Steve might not have understood everything about me. But in Vienna, when it came time to sign the accords? He was considering it. I put my foot down first and he listened.”

Sam shrugs. “Whatever you thought we were, it's not a team.”

Bucky knows where to drive the knife in to kill a man in as few twists of the wrist as possible – a brutal economy of movement and technique. But Sam...it pales in comparison to what Sam’s capable of. His weapons aren’t knives and his targets may not be made of flesh and blood, but he knows exactly where he needs to strike to rip Bucky open raw. Bucky feels like he’s been flayed alive.

“How about that long vacation?” Sam says, and claps Bucky on the shoulder.

And we’ll never have to see each other ever again goes unsaid.

Fuck.

***

The thing about ignoring Sam’s texts was that Bucky responded if they were actually important. It just so happened that most of the nonsense Sam sent was inane prattling about his day, about his job, his sister, his nephews. Now that he’s on the receiving end of it, though, it feels awful.

3/25/21, 2:58 AM

I’m sorry.

Delivered

3/28/21, 1:51 AM

Can we talk?

Delivered

3/31/21, 3:05 AM

Let me know what to do and I’ll do it.

Read 3:34 AM

4/1/21, 12:42 AM

Or if there’s anything you need.

Read 1:05 AM

Yesterday, 1:00 AM

I’m available if you need another body for a mission.

Read 1:02 AM

A week into the admittedly one-sided exchange, Sam turns his damn read receipts on. It’s ridiculous and it’s fucking asinine and it gets under Bucky’s skin immediately. It’s a form of twenty-first century psychological warfare that he’s unfamiliar with and already can’t stand. Mainly, he hates that it makes him seem desperate (he’s not), needy (he might be, especially when he realizes with horror that he actually misses Sam’s rambling texts), and ridiculous (he definitely is, because he’s letting petty mind games get to him).

Normally, Sam would send him nearly daily updates on his comings and goings – whether he’d been in New York, D.C., or New Orleans. The radio silence is unsettling. Bucky wonders if Sam made good on his promise to take a long vacation. And then....

The thing about apologies is that Bucky isn’t sure he’s ever done a proper one in his entire life, at least nothing beyond a rote “I’m sorry” with the “let’s move on” part left unspoken. But it stands to reason, Bucky thinks, that a proper apology can’t be given if he’s not completely certain what he’s dealing with. That’s all well and good because he’s got the world at the tips of his fingers, is what Yori always said. And when he grows frustrated with reading on his tiny phone screen, the New York Public Library is only a train ride away.

Sam had mentioned precedent, so Bucky’s first search is for medical experimentation. He knows for a fact he was good at this once, a memory of Steve whining about him being too good at exams coming up unbidden. He reads voraciously. Anything and everything that might offer a clue on what he’d missed. And it doesn’t take long for him to find what he’s looking for.

He reads with dawning horror. The Tuskegee syphilis experiments. Eugenics. God, the fucking Nazis had even modeled their race science on the American school of thought. The things that the history books left out. Some of it was even happening under his nose in the 30s, he’d just been blissfully unaware. He somehow ends up down a rabbit hole where words like `prison industrial complex’ and `school-to-prison pipeline’ make increasingly more persistent appearances. New Jim Crow. COINTELPRO. War on drugs. The way all of these horrors reached their long arms into the twenty-first century.

Bucky’s going to be sick. The memories come up one after another.

Just give him your ID so we can leave.

You think you can wake up one day and decide who you want to be? It doesn’t work like that. Well, maybe it does for folks like you.

So you’re telling me that there was a Black supersoldier decades ago and nobody knew about it.

This is what you’re not going to do. You’re not going to come here in your over-extended life and tell me about my rights.

The shield wasn’t yours to give away.

He spends the next week in his downtime reading. With the mission being over and his parole in jeopardy, his downtime mostly coincides with every day of the week.

Had Steve known?

No, he thinks. Steve was compassionate, but he wouldn’t have known because he’d taken one look at the problems of twenty-first century America and decided he’d had enough. Then he’d ran back to the 40s to live out some fantasy that simply didn’t – couldn’t – exist anymore. Had he eventually become aware of all the issues plaguing this country that they’d been able to ignore as starry-eyed kids in Brooklyn? Bucky hopes not, because that would mean he’d...no.

A part of Bucky thinks he’s so surprised because he’d thought things – race relations, civil rights, not things, his brain amends – had been getting better in the 40s. Deep down, though, he knows that’s a lie. A 2 AM read through Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States confirms it. Shady politicians. Klansmen who went back to their day jobs as cops, judges, firefighters. Mass incarceration taking its place as the new king on the throne of segregation. Evidently,

There had been plenty of folks – white folks – raising an uproar about these hidden horrors back then. The seeds of those movements had even been there in the 30s. Bucky tells himself that he’d been raised during the Great Depression, that his family had been too focused on putting food on the table to focus on social movements, but that, too, ends up being a lie. The poorest and working class whites – some, at least – in movement and solidarity with civil rights. Not him, though. Apparently he’d had his head up his ass back then, too.

Bucky can see the bigger picture a tiny bit more clearly, now.

Fine. So he’s been disarmed of the little lies he’d used as shields, and he also owes Sam one hell of an apology.

Somehow, he doesn’t think “I’m sorry, I was ignorant then but I read some books and now I know better” is going to cut it. Maybe a commitment to do better would work? Perhaps after Baltimore, but not now. That ship had long since sailed. Some grand act of service, then? He’s sure he can think of something Sam needs in this post-Blip world that he can provide. He vaguely remembers Sarah mentioning something about a ship and bank loan. That could be a starting point.

It doesn’t take much time to find the public records on the Wilson family business and then the not-so-public records on the denied bank loan. It wouldn’t take much for him to pry a little, not when seedy bankers were astonishingly amenable to the threat of violence. But he’s reminded of Zemo and figures that he ought not to do anything so drastic that could jeopardize Sam’s family situation further.

He snorts. Did growth that came several months late still count?

In the end, he decides to rip the bandage off quickly, which is how he finds himself in the sticky Louisiana heat with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring back at an incredulous Sam through his open door.

“I did some reading recently,” Bucky says.

“Hmm.”

It’s not outright refusal, so Bucky continues.

“About, um, the things you mentioned last time. Precedent.”

“Huh.”

For someone who’s normally so expressive with his language, Sam’s one-word answers as nerve-wracking as anything.

“I didn’t fully appreciate the situation that you were in. That you’re still in,” Bucky amends.

Sam shrugs. “It’s cool,” he says in a way that doesn’t sound like he really believes it. Bucky wonders if this is a test; he feels just as lost as he did on that plane a week ago.

“Let’s do this outside,” Sam says, closing the door behind him and ushering Bucky away from it. “Walk with me.”

They head down to the pier mostly in silence until Bucky breaks it. “I’m sorry for making it all about me,” he says.

Sam stares at him. It’s true Bucky might stare a little too much on occasion, but Sam’s stares are utterly unnerving in the way he seems to see right through Bucky when he really wants to, like he’s already mapped out all there is to know.

#sambucky #sam wilson #Bucky Barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers

86 notes · View notes

yeet-man · 4 years

Text

One’s Rebirth (Chapter 4)

A/N: Congrats to @red-riot-rat on getting 500 followers! That’s amazing, I hope one day I can get as many as you. Anyway, since they got this huge milestone, I might release chapter 5 later today who knows. I hope y’all enjoy this as always and peace out!

"Sir, can you tell us what All Might is like as a teacher?"

J'me glared at the reporters that gathered around. The boy let out a sigh before speaking. "All Might is just how you expect. He's not called the number one hero for no reason." After he gave his answer he walked away from the reporters.

It was a drag to deal with a million people asking questions at once, but he needed to deal with it. He thought about what Ryan said a while ago, 'what if Mari is here because we're here.' J'me didn't want to believe it, but the possibility of Mari being there because of them was possible. He walked into UA Academy and started heading in the direction of 1-A.

A green haired boy, named Deku walked up to J'me. "Hey J'me! I was sort of wondering about your quirk. You see in the test that Mr. Aizawa held, you showed that your quirk was wind or at least I thought it was wind. In the hero's vs villains test you showed us being able to manipulate water, wind, earth, fire, and lighting, not to mention you teleported!"

J'me listened to Deku speak about his quirk, the boy kind of looked at the green haired 'protagonist'. He softly chuckled when Midoriya finished speaking, he wasn't going to give details about the entirety of his quirk. "Midoriya, listen. All I’m going to say is I basically have a bunch of quirks in one."

The boy’s eyes widened in shock, he slowed down his pace a little to look at J’me. "H-how...how do you have multiple quirks in one?"

"It’s better if you don’t question it right now, Midoriya." His tone was serious, hopefully Deku wouldn’t question it till later.

"Oh...o-okay. Well, can you tell me about your quirk in depth, at least what you want to share." His pace quickly returned to normal so he wouldn't be left behind.

"Sure," He started talking about his quirk in depth for Deku’s sake as the two walked to class.

After a couple minutes of walking they got inside the classroom. J’me noticed right away that Kairo was missing. Maybe he was running a little late? Who knew, he just hoped nothing happened to his friend.

Everyone was present except Kairo by the time the bell rang. Mr. Aizawa began to call students' names out, double checking to see if everyone was here. When he got to Kairo’s name he looked up, not seeing the boy in the classroom.

"Has anyone seen Kairo Furo lately?" Mr. Aizawa asked the students that were in the class currently.

Silence passed for a few seconds before Ryan spoke up. "I saw him last night, he was going for a late night jog. After midnight I didn’t see him…"

“Maybe he overslept when he got home?” Kirishima called out from the other side of the classroom.

"No, I highly doubt that. He wouldn’t sleep in on accident or on purpose. Since he got into U.A, he wouldn’t miss it for the world." J’me said out loud so everyone could hear him.

"Something must have happened between midnight and on the way back to his house…"

Mr. Aizawa looked at Ryan, then he looked at J’me. "If I assign you to this mystery, will you solve it?" The teacher had a serious expression on his face at the time. He wanted this to be figured out just like everyone else.

J’me and Ryan looked at each other for a few seconds and then nodded at Mr. Aizawa.

"Very well, I give you the entire day to figure this out. You two are dismissed at once, good luck."

The two students grabbed their items and started walking towards the exit while J’me turned around to ask a question, "Is quirk usage allowed Mr. Aizawa?"

"No, you must learn to not always rely on your quirk."

The boys simply nodded and went on their way.

"So, you live by the woods correct?" J’me had to make sure there was no other way Kairo could have gone home. If there was, this ‘mystery’ could be for absolutely nothing.

"Yeah, if someone did go into the woods near my place it’s basically a dead end." He responded back at J’me with a small sigh after his sentence.

Ryan led J’me to an area that was by his house, though where Kairo was taking his jog.

The boys looked around for any evidence indicating where Kairo could have gone. Out of all days this motherfucker could disappear, why the day Iida gets some spotlight? The boys encountered something almost an hour of looking.

The thing they encountered was another person that seemed to be looking for Kairo as well.

"Who are you and what are you doing man?" J'me asked the unknown boy they saw.

The boy looked at them, curiously wondering who they were as well. "Oh me? I'm Calvin Lewis and I'm in the middle of figuring out what happened here."

J'me and Ryan introduced themselves as well and told Calvin why they were here. There was one slight problem with this Calvin person though. He looked like someone very similar to a person they knew in their 'previous' lives.

"So, the both of you go to U.A I assume? From the looks of it y’all are in class 1-A." Calvin said with a monotone voice, he sort of just wanted to solve this mystery.

Both boys stayed quiet for a few moments trying to figure out how Calvin knew they were in class 1-A. It was simple enough to figure out they went to U.A since the boys did say so.

"Uh yeah...Calvin was it? How did you figure out we were in class 1-A?" Ryan finally decided to speak up and ask the question.

"Well, from the way you two act I honestly doubted y’all were in any other courses except the hero one that is. And y’all aren’t in class 1-B like I am so yeah." Calvin told J’me and Ryan to follow him since he found something that could help them find out what happened to Kairo.

"Wait, you go to U.A as well? I'm surprised to be honest since you're like hella fucking tall. Shit you even taller than Ryan." J'me just kinda stared at how tall Calvin was when he asked the question and made the comments.

Ryan on the other hand, gave J'me a death glance and punched him in the arm. "Bitch."

The shortest boy of the three flinched at the hit and rubbed his arm. "Why you always gotta beat me, what I do to you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's called getting your body stronger." Ryan responded with a somewhat sarcastic tone in his voice.

Calvin just looked at the other two boys and let out a sigh. "Smh my head. Will ya just zip it for the next minute?"

Both of the boys looked at Calvin and nodded their heads.

Meanwhile J'me was trying to figure out who Calvin was. The way he spoke and acted was similar to someone he knew in his previous life.

A few moments passed before they arrived in the place Calvin wanted to show them. "I assume this was your friend, Kairo."

Was? They were both confused on what he meant like that. Surely Kairo was just knocked out, there was no way someone could actually kill him...right?

The two boys took a couple steps forward in front of Calvin. They wanted to see just what he meant by that.

Upon seeing the dead corpse that was Kairo, J'me's stomach dropped. His best friend of over 8 years was truly gone, though he didn't want to believe this nightmare was real.

He crouched down next to the dead body, checking the vitals of the corpse to see if he was truly gone. He was. J'me wanted to cry yet no tears could flow down no matter what. It felt like control was out the door though he still had his hand on it.

Meanwhile Ryan wasn't taking this well either. He started blaming himself for what happened, if only...if only he would have jogged with Kairo. Would that have even changed anything? He didn't know but to be honest, Ryan would rather have his life taken than Kairo's.

"I'm sorry about y'all's guys lost, but this isn't a time to be sad. We have to figure this out and your friend justice." Calvin was a bit sad about the loss of a person, but he didn't know him so the only thing he could do was at least give Kairo some justice.

The boys nodded and began to search the area for any clues. About 10 meters out from the body was a blood trail.

J'me luckily found it and started following it. The trail navigated through the forest and to some plains. There was a huge blood pool near the exit of the forest, other than that it was completely gone.

A few minutes he called over Calvin and Ryan to check the trail and pool out, asking if they had any clues about the blood.

The two boys examined it, being careful not to mess anything up. At the end of it, they couldn't figure out how Kairo was killed or who the blood belonged to.

"Um...how about we take pictures of this and show EarserHead tomorrow?" Ryan asked, kind of hesitant to even do so though since his head was fogged up with his thoughts blaming him for his friend's death.

"Yeah...maybe he can help us figure out who murdered him." J'me let out a shaky quiver from his lips. It was basically time to examine the body and the wounds Kairo suffered.

The shirt he was wearing was torn up, revealing multiple cuts along his torso and stomach, going in an ‘X’ formation. The cuts looked vigorous, almost as if that weren’t caused by a knife. Dried blood was all over his body and floor, it seemed like a homicide more than anything. After further examination Kairo suffered broken ribs as well as his skull being cracked open in the back.

“Jesus...who the hell could do something like this? This is honestly fucked up. And why Kairo? Out of all 7 fucking billion people in this world why him? This is complete bullshit!” J’me stood up and kicked the dirt in frustration.

Ryan just kept looking at the dead body of his friend. He wanted to run, scream, fight the person who killed Kairo. Without any evidence he couldn’t do anything but blame himself for the death of his homie.

Calvin was trying to stay calm as possible. He didn’t need to break out into his emotions no matter what. He let the other two boys do what they needed to do to calm themselves down and return to the mystery at hand.

"You guys want to take a blood sample? It might help us figure out who killed your friend."

Both Ryan and J’me looked at Calvin, they had sort of a confused look on their faces. How were they supposed to take a blood sample when they didn’t have anything to get one with.

Calvin just stared at them with no emotions on his face. "What? I have a small tube we can put the blood in." The boy then pulled out a small test tube from his jacket pocket. “Once I saw the body I went back home and grabbed one just in case.”

That totally doesn’t seem suspicious at all. Ya know the casual character somehow having a test tube. Makes total sense right?

Ryan and J’me looked at Calvin as if that wasn’t weird at all. They both did end up agreeing though.

Once the blood and photos were gathered, J’me made a couple calls so Kairo could have a proper funeral. Afterwards all three of them went on their way.

Ryan went straight home, not wanting to do anything but repeatedly blame himself.

Now Calvin was the only one of the three that stayed behind. He checked the area near Kairo’s body in case he could find any more clues. Not really finding anything else he went home somewhat disappointed in himself.

J’me made a quick stop at his house, running in, placing the photos and test tube on his nightstand. He washed his hands in the kitchen so he could glance at the clock.

4:12PM

Surely U.A was over at this point. The boy dried his hands with some paper towels, grabbed his phone and left the house in a hurry. He didn’t want to be anywhere close to where his best friend was killed.

J’me unlocked his phone once he got out of the house, immediately calling Kirishima without a second of hesitation. The phone rang for a few seconds before someone picked up.

"Hey! J’me, what’s up?" It was the friendly voice of Kirishima, someone that could be trusted with anything.

"Kirishima...meet me at the beach." J'me sounded on the verge of crying because it was true, he wanted to cry but held it in for the time being.

"Why? What's the matter J'me?" Kirishima was concerned for his friend. After all he just calls, tells him to meet at the beach and sounds like he's going to cry.

"Just fucking do it Kirishima!...please." He hung up without saying bye or anything of the sort and just ran to the beach, not stopping for anyone or thing.

Kirishima quickly puts his phone up and his shoes on. He ran out the door and to the beach as well, worried about his friend.

J'me is the first to arrive at the beach. While he waits for Kirishima to show, he sits down on the sand and tries to clear his thought process.

Minutes passed before Kirishima also arrived at the beach. It took him a couple seconds to find his friend, but once he did Kirishima ran straight to him as fast as he could.

"J'me! Buddy what's wrong?" He asked with a concerned tone in his voice as he rubbed his friends back.

"We… we were able to figure out what happened to Kairo. He was killed… we don't know who did so that's currently what we're trying to figure out." J'me held his head down for the whole time, not wanting Kirishima to see him crying.

Kirishima kept on rubbing J'me's back as he sat down on the sand as well. "I'm sorry… even if I didn't know him like you did, I'm pretty sure he was a good friend and would have been a good classmate."

"I knew him for 8 years, this is such bullshit… why did it have to be him? It could have been anyone else but him…" J'me complained, wishing it could have been someone else that he didn't know instead of Kairo.

Kirishima didn't know what else to do so he just let J'me ramble on. "It's gonna be okay buddy… no matter what happens I'm sure Kairo didn't want you to sit here and cry." He talked softly, sorta not wanting to hurt J'me more.

"No… it's not gonna be okay. I lost my fucking friend, how is it supposed to be okay? Besides, even if it is okay I still have to live with the feeling that I couldn't even save him…" He started to feel many things at this point. Depression, guilt, anger, and other feelings that he couldn't explain.

"Just trust me J’me, everything will be okay as long as you have all of your other friends. And even if you knew what was going to happen, you wouldn’t have been able to save him. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth bro…" Kirishima hated to admit it, but it was indeed true.

"I know, but still, I wish I knew what would have happened so I could at least be prepared. It’s just… we have been through so much shit together and we should have became heroes." J’me slowly wiped the tears off of his face. He let out a small shaky breath and looked forward at the ocean.

"I am going to become the greatest hero for Kairo."

Kirishima listened till he decided it was a good time to talk. "That’s the spirit J’me!" Deep down the red hair boy was jealous of his friend. He was able to keep going forward without one of his friends in the living realm anymore. How was he supposed to keep up with someone who could keep pushing through no matter what problems came their way?

"Everything is going to be fine, just keep pushing buddy. I believe in you J’me."

J'me smiled slightly and looked at Kirishima. "Thanks Kirishima, I believe in you as well. I know you'll become a great hero as well."

The red haired boy chuckled and patted J'me's back. "You know the future, that's the only reason you know."

J'me smiled a bit more as he stood up and dusted himself off. He helped Kirishima to his feet before speaking. "Even if I do know the future, it can change without me even knowing."

Kirishima nodded in agreement and gave J'me a hug. "No matter what happens I'll be in your corner and I'll have your back, got it."

J'me was a bit surprised by the hug, but he did return it. "Got it," he let go of Kirishima a few seconds later. "I'll see you tomorrow Kirishima, I hope they don't shut UA down because of this…"

Kirishima also let go the same time J'me did. "I don't think they will, but I'm not entirely sure. I hope they don't either."

J'me nodded and said his goodbyes. Once he did, the boy turned around and started his journey home.

Kirishima also went home, wanting to get some extra sleep since school was no joke at times.

Once J'me got home, he opened the door and slowly took his shoes off. He double checks the door, making sure it's locked before going to his room

The boy sits down on the bed and grabs the photos that were taken earlier. It was worse to look at now then it was hours ago, maybe it was because he'd almost gotten over the death of Kairo? Who knows.

He felt the urge to throw his guts up, so he placed the photos down and laid in his bed. This entire day was stupid to him, but at the same time it helped him learn something. He had friends looking over him and he had Kairo looking down upon him in the clouds above.

#one's rebirth

5 notes · View notes

andromedahawking · 6 years

Text

NaNoWriMo Day 6

10K!!!

Tatie sipped her drink. “Then again, college professor money isn’t really anything to make a fuss about anyway. So I guess he does make a lot of money off it compared to the average.”

“That’s pretty nice. I’ve really only got the money for the bottom two floors of my landlady’s house.”

“You rent someone’s house? That’s interesting.”

“Well, I guess, but it’s not really that uncommon. It’s nice, and my landlady rents it to me at a really unbeatable rate. I wouldn’t be able to get anything like it anywhere else in this area.”

“That’s true,” Tatie laughed. “This place strikes me as a ‘rich people in the valley’ kind of area.”

“It is,” Maria nodded. “Which goes really well with my whole aesthetic of hating people who remind me of my low status.”

“Oh, then you must love me.”

“Oh yeah, totally. I’m jealous just looking at you. You have the pretty face, the nice hair, the good clothes, what’s not to love?”

Tatie giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “Stop, you’ll make me blush. And look who’s talking! You’re way prettier than I am.”

“Oh, my god, don’t you get started,” Maria said. “You’re prettier than me, you’re not allowed to tell me I'm the pretty one around here.”

“Factually incorrect,” Tatie said with a smirk.

“Okay, we’re obviously gonna disagree on this one,” Maria said. “I stand by my findings, though.”

“Alright, then. And I stand by mine.”

Their food came, and they spent a few minutes in silence as they ate.

Tatie spoke first. “Hey, I’m curious—what about your parents? I told you about mine, what’re yours like?”

Maria let out a quiet hiss between her teeth. “My parents are… interesting people. To say the least.”

Tatie’s eyebrows shot up. “Ooo, I’m sensing a story behind that. Wanna share, or does that require a little more time getting to know each other first?”

“Nah, I’ll share with you now. It’s good to get it out of the way,” Maria said. “It’s a fun one, though, so we’ll be needing refills on our drinks.”

Tatie’s smirk became a grin. “Now I’m really interested.”

“You’ll enjoy this.

“My parents are a couple of typical New Jersey folks, born and raised. Mom’s name is Theresa, Dad is Richard. Surname of Prince.”

“I thought your last name is Taylor.”

“It is,” Maria nodded. “That’s my legal last name.”

“So, what, was your mother’s maiden name Taylor?”

“Nah, her maiden name is Youngston. I had my name changed when I was 15.”

“Oh…” Tatie’s face wasn’t quite as bright now. “So there was, um… ah, fuck, what’s the English term—bad blood! Bad blood?”

“Yeah, there was a lot of bad blood between us,” Maria sighed. “Because they really fucked up my life from the get-go. You know the whole thing that happened in the 60s about designer babies, the ‘tailor-made’ shit?”

“Yeah, I remember reading about that in school.”

Maria pointed to herself. “Congrats, you’re looking at one of ‘em.”

“What? You were genetically modified?”

Maria let out a little laugh. “Yeah, that’s a—that’s the blunt way to put it.”

“Oh—sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Nah, don’t worry too hard about it, I’ve got better things to be mad at anyway. But yeah, Mommy and Daddy decided that, rather than concieve their first child naturally, they’d rather have me grown in a lab and fuck with my genes so I’d be better than the riff-raff. That’s why I’ve got the hair, the eyes, and the fucking perfect skin. They also gave me all those super boosts to the immune system everybody was raving about.”

“Oh, Jesus, they really went the whole nine yards, huh?”

“Yup. Wanna know why?”

“Do I?”

“They did it to make a statement. To say science is good or some freshman English level BS.”

“Oh my god.” Tatie looked down at her drink, then downed the rest of the glass in one gulp. “Yeah, I see what you mean now. This calls for at least another round.”

“Yeah, especially since that’s only the foundation for all of the stuff that comes up after it,” Maria said. “It gets worse.

“Since I was the tailor-made baby, I was given the expectation of being a good example on every level. I had to be some sort of golden girl because of something they decided for me, which is bullshit upon bullshit.”

“Yeah, holy shit. I’m guessing things didn’t quite go so smoothly on that?”

“That’s being polite. I grew up with it, but by the time I was about 11, I started wising up to what was really going on with things, and, being a precocious pre-teen, I started acting up as well. And my parents got mad. Like, really mad about it.”

“Oh god, this doesn’t end well, does it?”

“No, it does not. Remind me at some point that I need to talk about how my little sister fits into it.

“So, since I was fucking up the perfect image these guys were working so hard to create, they got angry, and I started to suffer the consequences for my actions. Y’know, for all the stuff they would say about being caring, loving parents and never wanting to hurt their kids, they did an awful lot of it. Never anything physical, although Dad came awfully close a couple of times near the end. So I decided I wanted out, and I spent ages 13 through 15 working up a case to bring to court, and I actually managed it.”

“Yikes. That’s pretty scary.”

“Yeah. I moved out, changed my last name, used all my savings to pay for my last two years of high school while I got a job, and I got lucky with finding my landlady, so I had a good place to stay.”

“What about your sister? How did she deal with things?”

“Oh, man, she got the short end of the stick, which is saying a lot. If I was the golden girl who was expected to make the family look progressive or some shit, Thalia was the extra. They managed to get some bonus points with her despite her all-natural conception, since she was born blind, but she turned out to be just as troublesome as me. Worse, even. ‘Cause I only acted out by ruining my image, but she went further and actually went out of her way to piss other people off. For a blind kid, she apparently knows how to pick a fight.”

“Damn. I imagine she never really came out the winner in those.”

“Nope. Multiple bloody noses and awful bruises. And boy howdy, I could feel Dad’s shouting through the floorboards in my room upstairs.”

“Yikes. Richard does not sound like a very nice guy at all.”

“Oh man, what I wouldn’t give for an opportunity to tape his mouth shut and give him the shouting of a lifetime one of these years. I have enough repressed rage to power my house for a month.”

“Man, this makes my life sound positively idyllic,” Tatie said. “The worst I had to deal with was a few mental illness problems caused by my own unrealistic expectations.”

“Well, I can’t judge you for that, unfortunately, ‘cause I know mental illness is a fucking beast that doesn’t really care who you are or how good your life is.”

“Yeah, that much is true. I’ve spent the last five years of my life on medications for anxiety and depression and it’s honestly a bit of a fucking nightmare sometimes.”

“I could probably use something similar, myself,” Maria said. “I haven’t had the spare cash to afford mental treatments.”

“Yeah, from where I sitting, I think you could also benefit from some professional help,” Tatie giggled. “As well as some better living conditions than paycheck to paycheck.”

“Well, I can’t really complain about the pay part. Everybody goes through that phase when they leave the nest. I wouldn’t mind a little extra spare change every so often though, give me the chance to come out here more. That would be nice.”

“Maybe next time we get together I should just invite you to my place. That way we don’t have to worry about picking up a check when we’re finished.”

“I wouldn’t mind that so much. What would we do at your place?”

“Oh, we could do a lot of things. We could watch movies, cook, maybe bake something, get drunk, all the good stuff that girls normally do together, y’know?”

“I like the sound of that. I like the sound of that.”

“Of course, the real question is, would we get anything done for the project in the process? Because, after all, part of this is to get to know you as a groupmate, not just as an unfairly attractive friend.”

“Okay, first of all, sweetie, like I said, the attractive one at this booth is you, not me, and second of all, you make a fair point.” Maria took a big sip of her drink. “I think we could get a lot done for the project if we put our minds to it. The big roadblock would be focusing, and I think given our previous experiences dealing with idiots in group projects, we would be too afraid of dealing with that shit again to let ourselves slide. Especially since we’ve got people like Hannah and Adrien on our asses this time.”

“Very true,” Tatie nodded. “I don’t know much about Adrien, but I can vouch for Hannah’s track record. She’s very strict about keeping projects moving. It gets nasty if you don’t stay on her good side.”

“Ah. Excellent. We’re five for five on people in this group who will tear out the throats of the slackers.”

“Oh, I enjoy being a part of that group. You get to see the fear in their eyes.”

“The best of things. Those fuckers earn it.”

“Damn right they do. I see no reason to show mercy.”

#NaNoWriMo #My work #My OCs

2 notes · View notes