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omgkalyppso · 3 years

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Number 4 for the romance lyric prompt for any variation of the ot4!

4. ‘Cause girls like you run 'round with guys like me 'til sun down.

The lyric is from Girls Like You by Maroon 5 (idk how obvious this is without me saying it), and was added to the playlist specifically for Claude x Hilda though a lot of the lyrics have to be taken at face value because it could be interpret extremely negatively, though not that line, and not my intent. I'll try writing a few words of the stage-production au.

I didn't read over this when I finished.

Here's the first post of the stage-production au: [HERE]

Most of the cast were gone for the day, though the actors who had agreed to go out afterwards had lounged in the audience. Dimitri and Edelgard stood on opposite step ladders, as crewmen held them in place, going over the lines of their final battle with a choreographer and the director.

Dimitri would be atop a large dragon puppet someday, and Edelgard would be in her Hegemon construction, but for now, they were in t-shirts and jeans and trying their best to imagine what the final product might look like.

Hubert and Dedue stood by their sides, and had stopped crouching after the fourth recitation of their lines. By now had been brought chairs to sit upon, from which they each spoke their one line, to be shouted in production, as they supported the song shared by The Rightful King and The Flame Emperor in their epic moment.

From the orchestral pit, the production's vocal coach, Yuri, played an upright piano to guide their tune and tempo.

Hilda sat between Claude and Ferdinand in the audience. Each man whispering along with the song with a bounce of his head while she sunk into her seat, amused, and embarrassed by the prospect of joining them.

It was the most genial cast Hilda had ever worked with, and when Ferdinand, Edelgard, Manuela, Seteth and Lorenz had spoken of not drinking for seven weeks before a show, the bulk of the cast had agreed to go sober for the duration; though when they'd spoken of different dietary restrictions in the week leading up to production, there'd been very little consensus. Regardless, tonight would be the last hurrah for those who drank, as Hilda didn't anyway, and they were waiting to take their friends out for the night.

It was still relatively early as far as nights went, barely seven o'clock, but that was still late enough that people were missing dinner. Hilda could hear the crinkling of a paper bag from behind her, where Mercedes and Dorothea snacked on sweet and sour chicken balls.

After three more runs of the scene, Sweetpea, their stoic mint-haired director, declared, "I think that's it." They did their best to turn to address the rest of their team, in the wings and in the audience. "I'll see most of you in four days when we join Yuri for a, hopefully less chaotic, rendition of The Storm of Myrddin. Great work."

Hilda whistled loudly in support of her castmates, while her friends applauded and hollered. Dimitri bowed to their audience, and Hubert bowed to Edelgard who rolled her eyes and laughed as she exaggerated with one hand thrown skyward as she and Dimitri made their way down their respective stepladders.

"Thank you, Yuri," called Edelgard.

"Yes, thank you, Yuri," Dimitri agreed.

"We'll practice those low notes next time," Yuri answered, before waving up out of the pit to soften his implied criticisms. "You're welcome! We're getting there. There's a lot of range to cover."

Dimitri was still insecure by the time he joined his castmates in the aisles as they marched to the exit, "Did it sound that bad?"

"No," Claude snickered.

"It's Yuri's job to strive for perfection," Dedue observed.

Hilda held her hand in front of her lips for a moment, considering her contribution. Once they were outside, she jut her elbow into Dimitri's stomach so he grunted in surprise, stumbling back into Felix.

"Eugh!"

"Hey, watch it!"

Hilda shrugged. "Just remember that sensation?"

"Don't be mean," Sylvain exaggerated with a whine, giving Dimitri his sweater he'd been holding onto.

"No, I—" Dimitri tried to mimic the same position his mouth had been in, tongue drooping forward in his mouth as he sought the pitch of his exclamation.

"You broke him," Hubert declared, his brow furrowed, at the same time that Claude, Edelgard and Dedue were following Dimitri's example and carrying a deep monotonous tone.

Edelgard even turned it into a line that Yuri had probably been concerned with, that she would sing below The Rightful King's pleas, "So that none will suffer I must forfend—"

Dorothea answered her with The Rightful King's following line, "Living and dead, I will not forget those whom I defend."

"We're not doing that," Felix said, flat.

"Right," Annette agreed, which seemed to surprise him. "Resting voices."

"Resting voices," several people echoed.

They followed Dedue to a Duscur place for dinner, and wolfed down their wraps as they waited in line at a club that might be large enough to accommodate their large group.

"You didn't bring your date?" Lorenz asked Felix.

"We're not dating," Felix said, as if on instinct. He thought a moment. "Wasn't this just for cast?"

Lorenz shared a frown with Hilda before he assured Felix, "I doubt anyone would have complained even if you'd brought someone unrelated to the production. We'd have been happy to—"

"Don't listen to him," Claude said, turning from Leonie so he could wrap an arm around Lorenz. "Or I mean, do, because you could have brought anyone you'd wanted, but also don't because Lorenz just chickened out of asking the other make up artist to join us and hoped they'd have tagged along with Mia."

Felix snorted.

"That's not what happened," Lorenz objected.

"Oh, sweetie," Hilda contributed with a pout. "That's exactly what happened."

"We just got to talking, and I got distracted," Lorenz contributed.

"You forgot?" Felix asked, aghast. Hilda brought her hands to her lips, failing to hide her amusement.

"It didn't come up," Lorenz countered.

"That's not better," Claude said, shaking his head. Lorenz shrugged him off and flicked his chest with all four fingers.

"Fat lot of good friends like you are."

The second floor of the club was open to the elements, archways acting as windows to the brisk wind of evening, and the bright shine of sunset. The breeze and drinks were welcome, Mercedes, Dorothea and Hilda taking turns sitting with their pitchers, yellow with alcohol and pink without, to protect them just in case.

Hilda found herself distracted throughout the night, watching Claude as he dipped Lorenz, and nearly dropped Dimitri, and joined Dorothea in a samba that she and Annette were soundly better at.

They danced together only twice, the first time early in the evening before the dancers and the night had hit their stride, when there was more laughter and embarrassment in their fun than indulgence. The second time had been later in the evening, when he was flush and tipsy, to a ballad that had them swaying slowly with his hand politely between her shoulders. She'd thought about stepping closer into his space, resting her head on his chest, facing the brunt of his sweat and his cologne, but hesitated — partially because of their working relationship, but mostly because Sylvain and Mercedes had whistled about the way Hubert had held the small of Edelgard's back and she'd stretched back in a smooth, flowing dip.

It was maybe an hour later that Claude found Hilda seated at a table by a south-facing archway, the dim red of the western horizon a memory of the now fallen sun, the deep blue to the east twinkling with a few visible stars over a small lake and parkland.

"You having a good time?" Claude seemed more sober now than earlier, unlike some of their friends, and Hilda smiled softly, glad of his attention.

She nodded and ran her fingers under her eyes. "Just tired. Worked early before practice, and will again tomorrow."

"I'm glad you made it," Claude said sweetly, and Hilda rolled her eyes as she sucked on a straw from a cup that was mostly ice.

"No one would have missed me," she contributed, her gaze darting to where most of their colleagues were gathered, some of their friendships spanning years and others only as long as auditions, but generally they seemed to feel closer to each other than she really felt to them. So far, anyway.

She felt slower at forming these deep friendships that others seemed instinctually born with. She wondered if she'd know any of these people long enough for that to matter.

"I just said I would've," Claude insisted, crossing his arms as he leaned into the table. His hair was wilting around his face, framing thick eyebrows and dark lashes that half-hid his green eyes. He needed to curl them, Hilda thought idly.

She blushed and pushed at the ice in her glass with her straw. "You just owed me a few drinks for improvising with you in your audition."

Claude chuckled and hid his smile in his elbow for a moment. "That was kind of you," he allowed. He looked at her directly, and promised, "But it's not just that."

"No?" she peeped, half teasing, waiting on the joke or the reveal.

"No," he said at a whisper. "Would you want to come over to my place on one of our free nights? I could make you dinner? We could just run lines, or...?"

"Or?"

Claude blushed and they both snickered softly. He shifted back and forth against the table, forcing himself to sit up, running a hand over his chin, clean shaven for his part in their production.

"Or whatever you like."

His smile widened as she considered it, and she wondered if it was because he wasn't facing instinctual rejection or because he could tell that she was interested. When she nodded, his shoulders fell, as if suddenly relaxed. A lot of people had rules about not dating people they worked with, the risk of rejection and the pain of a breakup always had a chance of hurting a production, but she could see the value of taking a few moments of flattery too far. Even if Claude tucked his heart away from something more, even if they only ran lines, she was looking forward to it.

#hilclaude #claude von riegan #hilda valentine goneril #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #claude. hilda. mc. lorenz #faedolyn #mia cecile #only my original art was tagged for mia and i need to go through my posts and fix that later #the original intent of this au was for claude to ask fae out after the last showing of their performance but now that's lorenz's job i gues #i'm still ot4 obsessed. they'd all hook up #mia isn't even really in this but asdjfhgasdjm #if YOU (mutual) have an oc you want thrown in this au. let me know. it is a crack au #my writing #long post #i made this #the fanfiction i mean

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yukiwrites · 4 years

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Byleth and Sothis, In This Together

Thanks for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! This is more and more fun to write as it progresses ;v;) I hope you like it!

Summary: Now that they know who put the Crest Stone into Byleth’s heart and when, Sothis and the three professors are stumped on finding the reason for such action -- what could’ve driven Rhea to do such a thing? Byleth is then summoned to speak with the Archbishop...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15

Byleth and Manuela hadn't been long in Hanneman's office -- the three of them were still relaying all the information they had up until that moment: Rhea was unmistakingly the one who put Sothis' Crest Stone into Byleth's heart right after he was born, but for what reason?

Sothis didn't seem to believe that it was out of the goodness of her heart as Byleth apparently did, despite all of Her efforts to hide such thoughts from him. Well, neither did Manuela and Hanneman for that matter, but they were more vocal about it than Byleth's mindmate.

It wasn't as though Byleth was purposely ignoring his father's warnings about Rhea, -- be careful around her, never let your guard down, don't trust her and so on -- it was simply because, to the young professor, Rhea was a rather... complicated existence.

She had treated him with warmth from the beginning, while still keeping an invisible wall around herself. Not to mention that obviously hid the fact that she was a Child of the Goddess, an immortal being of legend -- so it was little wonder that she made herself to be unapproachable, hiding behind a mountain of secrets. Yet, she was the one who, due to unknown reasons, allowed Byleth to live by putting his heart in contact with Sothis'. She gave him the one irreplaceable friend Byleth would always carry with him.

He wanted to know why, he wanted to know so badly he could barely keep up with the conversation, but... Perhaps due to Sothis' motherly request from before the mission, he couldn't find it within himself to think of her as his coworkers did.

She was powerful and dangerous, that was the undeniable truth -- everything else could only be made certain by speaking with her.

Byleth tried saying much, but was immediately vetoed by all three of them moments before an uncertain knock was heard by the door.

"Professor Hanneman? Forgive me for dropping by so suddenly..." Dimitri's voice sounded from the corridor, making all three professors exchange curious glances, ultimately resting their gazes on Byleth, as the Blue Lions' instructor.

"Oh, what is it, my lad?" Hanneman asked from his desk, slowly rising towards the door, wondering if he should open it or shoo the boy away from where he stood. Manuela slouched on her chair, throwing one hand to the side so Hanneman would dismiss him. Byleth made a motion to get up, curious as to what his House's leader wanted.

"Ah, you needn't see me in if you do not want to, sir." Dimitri waved his hands as though the older man could see the gesture. "I was simply looking for Professor Byleth... Lady Rhea has called on him, but I have not been able to find him despite searching everywhere he could have gone, so I confess I am... overcome with worry."

At the mention of Rhea's name, all three professors froze in their tracks, their eyes wide. Sothis placed one hand over her chin in thought, nudging the back of Byleth's mind. "There's no way she knows what we found out, so you will need to hold your tongue. I shall put you on a leash if the need arises!"

The three of them once again exchanged glances, nodding to one another. Hanneman finally took the last step towards the door, unlocking it. "Worry no longer, Son. Byleth is right here," he said as he made way for the younger professor to pass.

Dimitri's shoulders visibly sagged, his worried expression softening slightly. "Professor...! It's so good to see that you are well! I thought- I didn't want to think that-"

Byleth flashed a sad smile to his student, patting him on the shoulder and silently leaving the room. The Prince followed quietly for a few steps before gasping and turning to bow in thanks to Hanneman, immediately going back to following Byleth.

He opened and closed his mouth, not knowing the proper time to speak, but afraid to put it off any longer. "Professor, ah, if you'd like, you could join me at the dining hall after your audience with Lady Rhea? You haven't eaten properly since... since it happened. Have you?" He looked like a lost puppy, his steps uncertain and his voice cracking.

Sothis commented as much inside Byleth's mind, drumming her fingers over her throne. The Professor simply took one hand to the pocket that contained his father's diary, lowering his gaze a few inches more as his shoulders followed suit.

"Forgive me..." Dimitri's voice was but above a whisper from behind Byleth's back. "I suppose it is much too soon to coax you back into the normal swing of things." He clenched his fists, the leather of his gloves squeaking in protest. "I-I am so very sorry about Sir Jeralt, Professor. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to help, even though I was right there."

The Professor shook his head with a low sigh. "Thank you, Dimitri. You've done more than enough by guiding the Blue Lions back safely when I couldn't. I couldn't ask more of you."

"Professor Byleth..." Dimitri looked as though he was on the verge of tears, though the only one who could see it was Sothis, from Byleth's back. "No one would blame you if you took more time to yourself. I believe that there's strength in taking the time to grieve for those we've lost -- though it's also important to remember that no matter how sad you are, eventually the tears will dry up. That's when you have to figure out what you're living for."

"What I'm living for..." Byleth repeated the words more to himself than to the prince, his mind too cluttered with all sorts of information and feelings to feel straight enough to look for a proper reason to live rather than an immediate goal.

"He's right, you know." Sothis apparead beside her friend, moving as though she could walk like he did. "Young, raw and pitiful, but right."

Dimitri spoke of the tragedy of Duscur that scarred him for the rest of his life and how he was still finding the broken pieces of himself along the way. About the guilt and duty of a survivor. About upholding a loved one's wishes after their death.

"There are tragedies occurring all around us," Sothis slid one cold hand into Byleth's," the most we can do is find our own ways to cope with them. To some, that means revenge; to others, it means forgiveness."

No amount of overwhelming information could steer Byleth out of this path etched in his mind, however. He frowned, clenching the hand Sothis held as though he could squeeze hers.

"Indeed." She said simply, jumping into the air to float. "The wicked must be punished."

Dimitri escorted Byleth all the way to the audience chamber, reluctantly excusing himself once the Archbishop made her appearance. Sothis followed suit, wanting to focus her energy into guiding Byleth through the conversation instead of making herself visible to him during the meeting.

"Don't ask about the weapons, or the past, or the Stone, or the enemy -- you can and will browse my memories of them instead." Sothis flicked his brain, metaphorically holding it with short leashes.

Rhea expressed her condolences to Byleth, bowing slightly in her grief. "Jeralt had been a friend of many years... It devastates me so to hear of his passing."

"Friend? Hardly!" Sothis sneered.

"Friends of many years?" Byleth asked almost at the same time, making Sothis shriek and grind his head with both fists in panic.

"Don't ask about this-"

"It was a long time ago -- during the days your father was still a soldier from the Kingdom." She replied readily, her tone warm despite the grief in her expression. "I saved him just as he was about to perish, which resulted in him coming back with me to the monastery and devote himself into becoming a Knight of Seiros."

"... Huh. So you're from the Kingdom! How fitting it is that you are teaching its very Prince!" Sothis commented over Rhea's voice, making Byleth squint to be able to focus on the Archbishop's words. He pursed his lips.

"If he was so devoted... why did he leave the knights?" Byleth asked tentatively, making Sothis drag her hands through her cheeks in horror.

"You're cutting it really close, you foolish child!" She paced back and forth in front of her throne, too nervous to simply sit and become a sentient voice in Byleth's mindscape.

Rhea flashed a lonely smile, clutching her hands slightly. "He... fell in love with one of the nuns of the monastery. Eventually, that love bloomed into a child -- you, dear Professor." She lowered her head. "However, there were too many... complications during your birth. Your mother begged me to save you, knowing full well that it would cost her life."

Sothis frowned. "Cost her life? Jeralt said something similar in his diary, though he only received the news of her death and your birth..."

Rhea glanced to the floor before sustaining Byleth's gaze. "He... never truly accepted the decision and ultimately stole you away from the monastery."

"Yeesh, the way she's speaking, it is as though he took something that belonged to her instead of his own child." Sothis crossed her arms in frustration, then bobbed her head to the sides. "Well, I suppose she did had reasons to be upset, considering my Crest Stone was within you, though that makes it even harder to understand the reasons behind it all. She ended up losing it for over twenty years!"

Byleth's own thoughts echoed inside his mind alongside Sothis' voice, making his eyes spin. "Who..." He shifted the weight of his body to one leg. "Who was my mother?"

Rhea pressed her lips into a thin line. "She was my... protegée."

"Protegée?" Byleth tilted his head to the side.

"You... resemble her in many ways." The Archbishop flashed a small smile. "She, too, wasn't one to express her feelings on her face, at least until she met Jeralt. Much like how you've changed since you've arrived here, so did she once she got to know your father. Their love was... hard to ignore." She said in a diplomatic tone, making both Byleth and Sothis narrow their eyes in doubt.

"What is this child doing, monitoring other people's love affairs like that?" Sothis chewed the inside of her mouth. "Did she have any connection with your mother before you were born? After all, she did give my Crest Stone to this woman's baby -- I cannot help but wonder what their relationship was. Surely it was much deeper than a simple guardian and her protegée."

"Did-" Byleth hesitated. "Did you save me because it was a plea from her or-" He watched how Rhea's eyes slowly widened as he spoke, though the end of his sentence was cut off by Alois' loud arrival.

"Pardon my intrusion! I have a report on the Knights' patrols... O-oh, Byleth, I-"

"Now! Get away from there before she gets suspicious!" Sothis urged, making Byleth shoot his head up.

"It's okay, Alois." He said in a hurried voice. "We can talk more later."

"Indeed we can." Rhea nodded solemnly, waiting for the Professor to be completely out of sight to ask for details of the patrol.

His frown deep, Byleth meant to return to Hanneman's office right away to put his (and Sothis') thoughts in order, but Dimitri, Claude and Edelgard were waiting for him at the end of the staircase.

"Professor Manuela recommended that you should have a proper meal," Edelgard said unprompted as the professor reached the last step. "So we agreed to come with you if only to keep you unbothered during your dinner."

"Well, Hanneman didn't need to tell me to come, just so you know." Claude sneered at the princess before placing himself beside Byleth. "C'mon, Teach, a warm meal's gonna make you feel less miserable."

"Claude...!" Dimitri gasped, trotting beside his friend.

"What? It's the truth! He's not gonna feel better now, but at least eating will make him feel alive!"

#byleth #sothis #dimitri fire emblem #hanneman #manuela #my writings #yuki's commissions #spoilers #fe3h

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theeeveetamer · 5 years

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(You are about the first person I have met to like omegaverse and FE3H and omg I love the posts on the blog) But ngl, I have had some small headcannons that Ignatz might be an Omega on the Golden Deer, and the only Omega male in that house (Raph and Claude being Alphas and Lorenz being Beta). So he has to take care when he goes into heat and even asks his professor to step out whenever he does and possibly be excused if it is particularly bad. (1/2)

(2/2) But there is one time where he gets together with someone else (idk who I am inconsistent with my ships for him) and he has a scare when he is younger, wondering if he actually got pregnant after breeding, he goes to Manuela to make sure nothing is wrong and she assures him he is only slightly later than normal and not accepting. While he is happy he isn’t a mom too soon, he begrudgingly admits he is slightly disappointed in the fact he isn’t expecting a pup of his own.

Alright I’ll admit I’m not much of an Ignatz lover but sure I can think up some headcanons for this. You’ve won me over by being a human that exists and enjoys my shitty posts about Omegaverse three houses xD

I go back and forth on whether Raphael is an Alpha or a Beta tbh. But he’s highkey my ship with Ignatz (and their ending was garbage and I wish to write an angry letter to someone about it someday). The fact that he frets over whether or not Ignatz is eating enough is, genuinely, one of my Big Things. You know a man loves you if he’s making sure you got food on your plate (it should really just be it’s own love language. Gives me delicious food. I’m not hungry rn what are you talking about?)

I think it would be really interesting if he got together with Raphael during one of his heats. It would be especially interesting if it happened between their C and B supports, when Ignatz is still convinced that Raphael hates him. But you know, sure, he ends up with someone during his heat, take your pick, for the purposes of this headcanon.

And now I would like to return to my Omegaverse slumber party headcanon? Because I honestly think the whole “relieved not to be a mom, but also disappointed” is something basically every Omega who has had a partner (or not) during heat can relate to. Even Felix (who I still headcanon is vehemently childfree) feels a weird sort of sadness whenever he finds out one of his heats didn’t result in a pregnancy.

Also that’s the real tea. They’re playing Never Have I Ever (we’re just going to pretend that exists in whatever time period this is), mostly as a fun way of getting to know each other. Then they go around the circle and talk about what they did/didn’t do.

Someone obviously is like “never have I ever had sex!”. And some people are exactly how you’d expect. Dorothea admits she basically fucked he way into the acadamy in canon, I think that would go double for an Omegaverse type environment. Felix is obviously a virgin in their academy days. Dimitri is Pining Hard but hasn’t even made a move (and wouldn’t because getting pregnant by the wrong person as future king could be disastrous). Bernadetta literally screams at the mere mention of a penis. Etc.

Then the circle gets around to Ignatz and he’s very visibly uncomfortable and he admits that he has had sex (at least once) and everyone is so genuinely shocked by this because he has such shy virgin energy. But, hey, whaetever move along it’s not that weird really.

He’s relieved that’s over with but then someone is like “Never have I ever had a pregnancy scare!” and Ignatz puts his finger down and they’e all like. Oh shit forreal? And he admits that he didn’t really know if he was pregnant but he had that weird Omega Longing to have a baby so he went to Manuela just to be sure. So then they all get to talking about their weird post-heat depression and he suddenly feels? Just? So accepted?

#omegaverse #abo #three houses #omegas bonding with each other #fe Ignatz #Omega!Ignatz #Anonymous #3h omegaverse #raphnatz

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sacks-of-kittans · 4 years

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What’s your take on the commoners vs nobility characters in FE3H?

So I know Blue Lions and Black eagles might consider some characters commoners when they’re technically not??? But the known commoners

Dorthea

Dedue

Ashe

Leonie

Ignatz

Raphael

Dorthea I loved. Some say she wasn’t plot relavant, but she’s the icing on the cake. Yeah she’s looking for security, but all her supports are interesting. She lowkey hates noble men, but really just wants to call them on their shit. Yeah Slyvain had complex backstory that made him the way he is, but he’s still trying to piss off so many girls at his school by flirting with them, and intentionally trying to break their hearts because of his noble status and shit. (I do like him but not every girl at the school is gonna know that first glance) she does other stuff with Lorenz and Ferdinand, calling them out. But she also seems to be nice with Hubert/Caspar/ Linhart, so it’s not all noble men. Her relationship with Manuela is fun. She’s got back story, charm and wait she’s more in depth than I thought! When the war phase happens, she’s not putting on a brave place hiding her feelings, she admits to being depressed. She also helps people during the fife years Byleth is missing. She’s just someone I wanted to have a happy ending. Her design fit the black eagles house, and I like using her. 10/10

Dedue is plot relavant character. They had to mkae all the retainers different from one another, goth noble boy, pink noble girl, and commoner front he tradegy of Duscur. After first I didn’t really notice Dedue, but I ended up liking a majority of his supports. I enjoyed hangining with him when he was in Azura Moon. He’s a kind gentle giant whose done what he’s had to do to save and reunite his liege. 10/10

Ashe did get to live in a noble house for a nice minute but then had to kill his adoptive father. Ashe being a blue lion go a cool back story and a rounded out character. You think to yourself is this man too sweet? But the answer is no he’s got a theif backstory, so many dead parents, and is suffering from depression. I don’t really have any complaints out of him. 10/10

The golden deer was done dirty. Yeah there needed to be more commoners in the game but oh my god

I learned to like Leonie. Having the relationship back and forth about Jeralt was fun, but the game literally doesn’t tell you much about her only her feelings for Jeralt being a good mentor and she wants to be strong. Where are her parents? Where was Byleth when Jeralt and Leonie met? I also didn’t get through many of her supports because I’ll be honest there’s a lot of supports in this game, I’ll listen when I’m on the mood. I felt like she was there to reinforce Jeralt’s character. Maybe she could have been Byleth’s adoptee sister or something to make her involvement in the story more interesting. 6/10

Ignatz and Raphael have some family drama, dead parents and an older brother that’s inheriting the family business making ignatz a knight. But honestly i dont really care. I know not every character has to be complex and cool, but shit it’s a little unfair when there’s a lot of other characters that are more appealing. If they were replaced I would not really care.

I’m not gonna type out every noble but the developers gave all the nobles either interesting or mostly interesting backstories. There were more noble or people with heavy noble connection. They had backstories of how their lives were affected by crests either having one or not having one. The nobility had a leg up with writing in the plot or supports being very interesting.

I felt like the commoners didn’t capture all of commoner life for life in fodolan. Like Mercedes and Marianne had similar fathers (adopting girls with crests to marry off) ingrids dad also wants to marry her off because of her crest and I think Count Varley just wanted to get rid of Bernie. Like they could have gotten creative I know they’re all different characters but come one. The common folk are under represented like you get one singer from the empire (I know the noble system is the worst there which is why Dorthea is the only commoner) Ashe and Dedue (Ashe was living a noble or knight family at the start of the game. Dedue isn’t from the main 3 countries but does bringing an interesting perspective of Duscur) and then you have Leonie Ignatz and Raphael where there is drama in the alliance but is easy to forget or ignore. But I get it I guess the school costs money to go to so I guess it would make sense for more nobles to go there

#ask #anon #fire emblem

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dlamp-dictator · 5 years

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Allen Rambles About Three Houses

So last week I finished up my Black Eagles playthrough of Fire Emblem Three Houses. It was... okay. It wasn’t great. I had a few issues with the pacing how quick the plot move to the final battles and the lack of build-up for the big climaxes in the last few chapters, but I had a good time overall. Still, I was left unsatisfied. Between Fates, Echoes, and even Warriors, I think I enjoyed this game the most, but also had the most uncertainty with.

Fates was a fun game with fun mechanics and fun customization options if you were willing to grind for it, but also had the worst stories and narratives. Echoes had the best story out of the three, but had some game mechanics I really wasn’t a fan of like dungeon stamina and enemy AI nonsense. And Warriors was just fun fanservice as a fan of Dynasty Warriors, but was overall boring and repetitive after completing the story mode.

Three Houses honestly succeeds in every category so far. It has an engaging story, fun gameplay mechanics with a lot of customization options, and a lot of fun interactions and cute moments in it. But even so, I still can’t help but have issues with it.

So... I want to talk about that for a bit. I want to cover what I like and what I dislike about this game so far. Just talk a little bit with the fanbase to see where my feelings and thoughts are compared to everyone else’s.

But first, as always, a synopsis for those unfamiliar with Three Housed.

Fire Emblem Three Houses is a strategy game for the Nintendo Switch and the 16th game in the franchise. This game in particular focuses on three heirs to three different nations on the continent of Fodlan. The proud and commanding Edelgard of the Adrestian Empire who has great ambitions for her nation and its people despite how radical and blasphemous her manifesto seems. The kind well-mannered Dimitri of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus who’s smile and inviting nature hides a dark and maleficent past that still haunts and eats away at him to this day. And the easy-going and playful Claude of the Leicester Alliance who always seems to be planning something more sinister and malicious than his devil may care attitude shows. These 3 heirs all go to the same military academy at the Garreg Mach Monastery, both a religious and military center where the church resides. Together they enjoy school life, interact with students and classmates, compete in friendly competition, and learn the ways of war together. However, as political events, social changes, and possible wars erupting, the three friends are tested and eventually break part, now pointing their blades at each other for their own beliefs and goals. And as violence is all but certain as the years tick by, all the three can do is wait until they’re forced to kill each other for their beliefs, their goals, and their countries.

You play as none of these characters.

Instead, you play as Byleth, a new professor at the academy and former mercenary. You choose one of the Three Houses to teach and become wrapped up in their machinations as the plot thickens. How you train your students and ready them for the real world for the trials to come is all in your hands.

So... with that all said and the plot laid out, I think I should start with my issues first in the say way I did my quick thoughts. Just so I can at least end this on a good note after all my nitpicks and issues.

With that said, I’m going to start small and first cover...

Things That Only Annoy Allen

So last time I tried to write this I had to make my first “small” grievance into it’s own part. I’ll try and keep this short since I really want to keep this to the actual small stuff:

I don’t like Byleth’s female design. I’ll go into detail later but for now just know the lacy stockings are distracting for the wrong reasons.

There’s no female brawling class and it bugs me greatly due to Petra’s and Ingrid’s high speed growths. They could be some extremely high DPS infantry in the right hands with those things, but there’s no really class to take advantage of that aside from maybe Swordmaster.

More for story reasons than anything, I wish there was an in-game limit to how many students you could have join your class. About 3 students per House if I had to put a number on it for reasons I’ll explain later. This isn’t an issue, but it’s something I’d like.

Magic only being accessible for certain classes bugs me. I understand the in-game reason for this as a physical unit that could use some emergency (if very weak) magic after losing weapons or fighting armored units would honestly break the game even further than it can be now, but still.

Something I might mention later, but after watching a Blue Lions playthrough by one of my favorite Let’s Players I feel that the game should had limited which House we could join first, as my Black Eagles playthrough would had been more fulfilling learning of some things I’ve learned in that Blue Lions run.

Class mastery should be tied to levels instead of as a separate experience bar. I understand why that’s done, mostly keep people from really min-maxing classes and abilities, but it’s still annoying in terms of optimization.

Edelgard, the only female lord, is the only bisexual lord. Now I’m not in the LGBTQA+ community, but as a gamer and self-proclaimed degenerate I know that denying the yaoi fangirls a male gay option for a main character is... suspicious, given the lovable bisexual rouge of Niles in Fates, and it clear that Claude could had easily been a bisexual option as well given his personality. Again, not in the LGBTQA+ community or trying to play the social justice card, but it is making me raise eyebrows toward the games marketing and aimed demographics.

Byleth in general just... bugs me as a character, but I’ll get to that later.

...

And now it’s later, so let’s get to talking about the main thing that bugs me with Three Houses, and that’s...

Byleth

I don’t like Byleth. I don’t like Byleth at all. I namely don’t like how they were executed, but the fact that we have another avatar character after how well Echoes worked as a story without a self-insert character, I’m just... baffled. I’ll try and break this down a little.

Byleth’s Design

I really don’t Byleth’s design, namely the female design. The male version looks fine, if a little too black for my tastes, but the female version is trying way too hard to look sexy. This only makes me mad because both Awakening and Fates had female avatars that didn’t look overly sexy or obviously pandering to the male gaze. They were just the female version of the male version’s outfit. Maybe there was some more boobs and hips because female, but it was mostly forgivable.

And look, I’m not prude, far from it. Senran Kagura is one of my favorite video game series (cautiously hyped about Yumi being in Cross Tag BTW). Rumble Roses is a guilty pleasure I play every so often. One of my favorite anime is freaking Koihime, aka ‘Ikkitousen but better EVERYONE is a girl.’ I’m not saying you can’t have a sexy character or a bunch of sexy characters in a game or piece of media. However, that character should at least have a sexy personality to go with it. And with Byleth, who has the personality of cardboard has been with her mercenary father all her life fighting for her life, it doesn’t feel like she would actively be trying to look sexy since she doesn’t have the personality for it, or a personality at all. She looks less like a mercenary or teacher and more like Manuela forced her into some lacy stockings to make her branch out...

Huh, that would be a good paralogue/support conversation, but I’m not about to rewrite the game just for my satisfaction... yet.

If you want my quick armchair redesign ideas in terms of design I’d just stick her in Male Byleth’s armor, maybe have a more pronounced/noticeable skirt instead of a long shirt, and dear God get rid of those lacy stockings. Byleth is suppose to be a mercenary that’s only known battle with her father, the Ashen Demon that rarely shows their emotions, not a sexy fashion model. The Enlightened One model is it’s own mess, but this section ate up enough of my time already so I’m moving on.

Byleth’s Personality

Again, Byleth having the personality of a damn rock really kills my attachment to the character. They don’t speak or emote beyond generic level up phrases and crit quotes.

Which is a shame because Byleth has some really good crit quotes.

However, from what Jeralt and other students say about Byleth I can gather that their someone that’s often quiet and standoffish. They don’t speak unless prompted to or needs to interject. They tend to observe more than act, even more so after they gain the ability to rewind time, but have a razor-sharp and deadly focus when in combat. And despite their distant nature, they do care about their students, friends, and family quite a lot, willing to break the emotionless Ashen Demon persona to crack a smile even now and then, even completely showing deadpan shock when something surprising or appalling is said, as rare as it happens.

This is literally Yu Narukami’s personality in Persona 4 the Animation.

And that anime not only gave Yu Narukami more agency and personality than the self-insert the game made him out as, it also gave him a lot of a good back-and-forth with his friends and cast at large.

youtube

Seriously, this could had been Byleth if they bothered to let them speak and actively interact more independently, and it would had been great.

But that aside, I’m moving on to something a little more important, which is...

Byleth’s Importance

[Spoilers for the Black Eagles Route Ahead]

Again, I’ve only played the Black Eagle’s route, so maybe this changes in the other Houses, but Byleth seems way too important for his own good when we have 3 other “main” characters. He’s the crux of a lot of events and it doesn’t feel deserved or built up to well enough. In the Black Eagle’s path, you’re the one that convinces the class to work with Edelgard instead of Edelgard just explaining herself before the class of her goals. You’re the one leading the Black Eagle Strike Force instead of Edelgard or Hubert taking command and leading after years of not having the professor around and having to survive the war on their own. You’re the one that Rhea has a personal vengeance for instead of the woman that torn the church apart with both words of steel and blades of iron. And you just randomly find out that your the progenitor god from Edelgard and Hubert toward the very end. It feels really anti-climactic, but I also get the feeling that we were suppose to play Edelgard’s route last, something I’ll save for later.

Among other things, I just feel that the focus on Byleth stagnants Edelgard’s character a lot. I want to see Edelgard struggle with the fact that her ideals, while noble in concept, are dragging the world in the flames of war and that she’s seen more as a tyrant than a savior, but instead we focus on Byleth’s mysterious birth and power after being gone for five years. This game, at least on the Black Eagle route, was so damn close to telling a really good war drama, but backpedals due to Byleth’s existence and perceived importance.

Sothis

[Spoilers for Mid-Game Ahead]

I wish she was more active in the story. Nothing too big, but if I had to deal with emotionless rock that is Byleth, I’d like to have seen Sothis sprinkling her commentary on everything they did. Just imagine Sothis sassing Byleth about how their always eat lunch with their students. Her commenting on the fish they catch. Her giving additional small hints about who owns certain lost items after failing so many times to give the right item to someone. Her sassing every student in their support with Byleth on C-rank. Her telling you to go to sleep when you run out of activity points. It’d add a lot to her character and it’d make the moment later in the game when you no longer have her voice around feel more impactful. Imagine catching a big fish after fusing with her and... hearing nothing about it how big a catch it was. Imagine trying to give Ingrid a lost sword for the fifth time, hoping to hear a hint from Sothis and... you hear nothing.

Again, just an armchair idea, but at least that way when Byleth is being a plank of wood we’ll have Sothis to add some literal flavor text to everything they do.

Ah, but that’s enough about Byleth, let’s move on to something a little more important. Like...

The Gameplay

Thankfully, my issue with the gameplay are more nitpicks if anything, and I can actually have this in list form too.

As I mentioned in my quick thoughts, I feel like late-game/master classes are more of a pain to gain than most others. A lot of them need to have some heavy grinding in a stat you didn’t likely need to worry about before. Mortal Savant requires you to heavily grind either a physical class in magic or a magical class in swords, something that you likely didn’t do. Speaking of magic, it’s annoying that for all the customization in this game only certain classes can use magic. It makes raising a Mortal Savant or a more physical Holy/Dark Knight a nightmare. Again, I understand why this was done, but it’s annoying all the same.

Gender-restrictions, as I also said in my Quick Thoughts, are just dumb. Fates had removed this and it was great to have the freedom to give my male units the ability to become Falcon Knights, or my Female units to be... Okay, I only played Fates and Echoes, but the fact still remains that not being able to make a female Grappler/War Master or a male Falcon Knight really sucks and limits me quite a bit. Especially the inability to make Lysithea a Dark Mage. It’s practically wrong.

A lot of these maps have the same issue that Echoes had. They’re big and have a lot of enemies, but not much creativity to them. Okay, they have some thought put into them, more than Echoes anyway, but a lot of them still just feel like big fields that need at least three flying units to be manageable. Again, I’ve only played the Black Eagle route so there might be some more interesting maps in the other routes, but from what I’ve played there was no real strategy to these maps outside of baiting enemies and maneuvering around traps. I think there were probably only two maps that weren’t giant mazes or an empty field with a lot of enemies in them.

To the point above, this made slow moving armored classes almost completely useless. What point is there in having a slow tank on maps that span to what feels like 60X60 tile maps? Plus the maze-like design? Yeah, I don’t know how these maps were meant to be interesting.

And that’s it for gameplay issues. Moving on to...

The Story

Again, something that can be put into list form due to the story having more nitpicks than actual issues:

[Spoilers for Black Eagles Route Ahead]

The split decision to join Edelgard or not is dumb, as is the requirement to have the option available. I think it’s foolish to think we wouldn’t agree with her after listening to her manifesto for so long, especially if you played a Blue Lions route and seeing how Sylvain and Ingrid were screwed over due to their Crests, or just... Lysithea’s background in general. I can’t argue with her beliefs, only her execution.

The Flame Emperor reveal was... really anti-climatic. As if, again, they assumed we’d do Black Eagles last. Playing this route first just leads to a lot of anti-climatic reveals, especially on Edelgard’s route.

I just really wish Edelgard came clean with her classmates and commanders at some point in the story, to just tell them all that she was experimented on as a child and had two Crests as a result. That she wants to eliminate the nobility and Crests as a symbol of statu because of the harm it does to people both on top and on the bottom of the social food chain. It’d give a lot more weight to her cause.

Again, most of my issues with the story come from Byleth having too much screen time and importance compared to Edelgard as a whole. Especially when I did the route where I chose to go with her.

Alright, I think that’s it for all of my nitpicks, all the major ones anyway. I think I finally move to...

The Good Things

Again, this will be in list form since a lot of the nicer parts about this game don’t need as much breakdown as the bad parts.

But anyway...

As much as I don’t find the late game reward in terms of class advancement, the mid and early game are great for experimentation. I've had a bunch of fun on my second playthrough with some creative builds. I might suffer a little in the late game due to not optimizing everything, but that’s managable.

As I also stated in my quick thoughts, dismounting is hilariously broken. The amazing amount of utility you get from being about to dismount once you reach a destination and then mount at the start of the new turn for free while also being safe from arrows and horse-effective weapons is hysterical. I honestly think this was a bug that just didn’t patch and that dismounting meant you were stuck with the lower movement for the rest of the turn, but God am I going to use it until they eventually patch it out.

I’ve got... issues with the Black Eagle route, at least the route I went through, but I’ve been watching a playthrough of the Blue Lions route and it’s everything I could have wanted in a Fire Emblem game and more. If you want to play a good story I recommend the Blue Lions as your first route.

But to cut the Black Eagles route some credit, a lot of Edelgard and Hubert’s A-Supports were probably some of the best I’ve seen in the series... though I’ve only played Fates and Echoes, so...

Speaking of supports all of them were done very well. Like I said, Edelgard and Hubert had great supports, but Lysithea, Petra, Caspar, and Dorothea had great supports as well.

A lot of the supports and voice acting are great. It’s a key reason as to why I like the supports so much. The Lords are especially great to hear and were directed well.

And... yeah, that’s all the good things. Don’t let the short length fool you, folks. Like I said before, my issues are more nitpicks. The game as a whole is just fine.

That said...

In the Future

As much as I want to, even as a fun little project, I think it’s a little arrogant of me to be making any rewrites or “improvement” to the current story of Three Houses. I have various reasons for this that I might go into depth to in a later Rambling, but the short version is as someone that’s struggle to write their own story I feel like a hypocrite for trying to “correct” another’s. However, I think it’s far game to make requests and bring forth ideas for a future title, especially since this one is selling so well. And so, before concluding I’d like to present a few things I hope to be in the next Fire Emblem game:

No Avatar Character

Like I said, I feel Byleth’s entire presence can ruin scenes due to his lack of personality and engagement. And as easy as it would be to give him one that would also mean the play losing their use self-insert character. To this I say it’s probably best to just not have an avatar/self-insert character to begin with. You can easily make a character that has the stats of an above-average all-rounder as your main character/lord while still having a personality. I think Echoes did this well enough with Alm and Celica, especially Celica if we’re talking stats and utility as a healer/magic/swordsman hybrid.

No Gender-Locked Classes

This is more of a personal desire than something that needs to happen, but if the next Fire Emblem game is going to give us this much customization then I’d really like to have complete control and not be restricted by gender, especially when we’re talking stats. A War Master Hilda would be wild. As would a Hero Petra, a Gremory Linhardt, a Dark Mage Lythesia, and so on. To restrict us is not only screwing people who want to make quirky builds, but also those that want to make optimal builds. Either remove the gender lock, or have these characters with more straight-forward classes like in Fates.

One/Limited Routes

Again, I haven’t played Blue Lions or Golden Deer yet, but the Black Eagles route had a branching path that I honestly think shouldn’t have existed. Maybe this was for reasons I can only guess at, but the story of the Black Eagles Route I was on felt very rushed, or at least it assumed I had played either the other Houses or the “canon” Black Eagles route first. That left the actual story, while I personally found engaging, very rushed and underwhelming at the end. In the future I’m hoping for either one path, or for alternate paths to be locked until you complete the other “main” ones that give a fuller story, because a lot of what I’m seeing in the Blue Lions playthrough I’m watching would had been nice to learn in the Black Eagles route to see Edelgards view of things.

Smaller Maps

Like I said, the maps in Three Houses are a little too large, especially with slower armored/magic units in the early game with only 4 movement. In the next game I’m hoping for either smaller maps or at least maps that accommodate for that slow movement of early game and saving the bigger maps for when you’d naturally have some cavalry and infantry units with 5 movement. I think Fates’ Conquest and Revelations maps did this perfectly.

Brawling Weapons

No real critique here. I just really like the gauntlets and I hope they come back in the next game.

Conclusion

Overall, I think Three Houses is a good game, despite all my nitpicks. I hope the next game will be even better and hopefully have some of the things I want to see. I recommend this for anyone with a Switch wanting to play a decent strategy game.

Anyway, I got a draft to make on that story I’m writing, as well as draft up another Rambling. See you all later!

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #your dictator is speaking

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bucky-is-a-hero-fightme · 6 years

Text

The Naked Interview

Pairing: Sebastian Stan/Latina!Reader(f)

Summary: Sebastian and Y/N are introduced to a new format of interviewing as they go on the press tour of their incoming movie. The interview will bring out old feelings and ask the questions they didn’t dare ask themselves.

(My summaries suck.)

Word Count: 4100 approx.

Warnings: none, I think. Though if you don’t wanna be spoiled about Manuela Sáenz life, you should read Pamela S. Murray’s Biography of her (personal recommendation, there’s thousands out there hehe)

Guide: Italics is for flashbacks or Spanish/Romanian. If you know my work from AO3, you know I’m a sucker for flashbacks and languages, so...heyy :)

A/N: This is my first RPF work, and I feel weird about it. Idk. I like it, I really do, and the idea has been going around in my head for weeks now. I just feel weird writing about real people. Welp, here I go hehe.

Also: Tere’s social media posts made for this fic, to set the background and a little bit of fluffy history btw the characters. CHECK IT OUT HERE

Big thanks to @marvelousfakesocialmedia for doing the posts for this fic!! Check out their work, is great!

You are shown into the private room by a girl from the staff, opening the door to reveal a pretty simple set-up, looking more like a living room than an interview set. You shake away the imbalance that gives you, walking inside with a big smile. The 'stage' smile.

“Well, well,” You muse as you walk towards Sebastian and the interviewer, “When my agent called and told me I had to do a Naked Interview with Sebastian Stan this was definitely not what I had in mind.”

The blonde that was seconds ago looking through her papers and notes before starting to interview you rose her gaze to you with a sly smile. Reporter through and through.

You knew the cameras would be on, your publicist had warned you about it. This paper was going for 'authenticity' and apparently this interview was all about that, including every dirty trick in the book.

“Disappointed?” She asked, to which you answered by simply waving your hand and pointing at Sebastian's whole body.

“Yes.” You dramatically intoned, prompting them both to laugh.

They start the interview with the usual greetings, no mentions of your past relationship, for which you thank whoever is ready to listen.

The questions are simple enough, what you are used to by now, having been promoting this movie for two weeks by now. She goes back and forth between you and Sebastian, asking very superficial questions.

The interviewer turns your way, asking about your experience as this is your first time being cast as the main role in a big movie, to which you smile and nod, quipping in about how weird it was to see your face looking so big in the posters. She laughs a little in response, before congratulating you and Sebastian for the movie and wishing you success. The cameras are turned off, as you smile in thanks, still feeling this was too short and you did not feel at all the 'authenticity' they were looking for.

But then the blonde gets up, and is handled a small wooden box that you are quite familiar with.

“Oh, is that a prop?” You ask excitedly, before turning to Sebastian with a big smile on your face, “Seba, is the letter box!”

You try not to notice the way your heart skips a bit when he returns your smile with one of his own, his eyes shining a bit more under the light as the creases around them get deeper.

The interviewer clears his throat, effectively calling back your attention, and giving the box to you.

“Yes. Considering how sentimental and authentic were the letters that were kept in Manuela's original box, and how it was replicated by your team so it could mean just as much in the big screen, we decided to add a little symbolism to the second part of our interview.”

“Second part?” Sebastian asks, still watching you from the corner of his eye as you trace your fingers over the ridges and markings on the letter box.

The producer steps ahead, “Yes. We told you we are aiming for authenticity here, so we have saved a bunch of fan's usernames in the box, that you will take out. A video of their question will play on the monitor, and you have to answer. You will be left alone in the room with the cameramen, no mediator this time.”

“Oh,” You mumble, habit winning over logic as you meet your eyes with that of your ex-boyfriend. You can sense his apprehension, and you feel quite insecure about this yourself. But you still smile, turning to the producer, “Does the 'naked' mean I have to take something off if I don't want to answer? 'Cause I'm down for that. Don't know about my agent though.”

You were arranged in front of one another on the couches, two wooden boxes between you, one for your questions and another for his, and the set almost empty. It felt strange, it felt like an intervention or a forced therapy session. It felt strange, all in all.

“Should I start?” Sebastian asked, crinkling his nose a little, visibly uncomfortable.

You smiled, and nodded, “Please.”

Why does this feel so formal? It feels like I'm talking to my cousin's childhood-friend's doctor, and not the man I dated for almost two years.

You watched as he rummaged through the little papers inside his box, taking one and reading aloud the name.

A young boy, around his late teens, smiled at the camera as a Mexican flag decorated his background. You immediately smiled widely, even though he would not see until the interview was released.

He cleared his throat and asked, “Y/N, how did it feel portraying a character of Latin American independence when you are Hispanic but left Latin America?”

You blinked, trying to keep up the smile,

“Woah, the surely don't start soft, do they?”

Sebastian smiled at you softly, and you would've sworn you saw his arm stretched towards you from the corner of your eye, before he pulled it back, “You don't have to answer.”

“Seba, you don't have any say in it,” You laughed, and took a deep breath before starting to explain how incredibly humbling it was to take on her mantle and play such a strong woman and someone who was such a symbol to the independence of not only your country and so many others, but also women in general. You went on a little about how you felt a lot closer to home while filming, considering the Latino cast and the closeness you felt to your character as a Latina away from home yourself.

It felt odd, doing an interview like this. As you were seated one in front of the other, and aside from the fans popping in and out of the monitor screen, you were all alone. It felt as if you were confessing all these personal feelings about your past and your character to him and not an audience.

Oh...good tactic, Naked Interview people.

Drinking a bit of water to dissolve the knot in your throat, you rose your eyebrows in Seb's direction.

“Your turn,” You teased, hand already inside your box, “And it better make you cry or I'm out.”

He laughed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he crossed his fingers together. When you stopped what you were doing to ogle at him, you don't remember.

“Just read the name, Y/N.”

“Okay, okay. Don't rush perfection,” You mumbled, taking out the piece of paper, “Sebastian, here is your user.”

A dark-haired woman around her mid-thirties smiled at the camera and asked, “Sebastian, do you feel James Thorne was a redeemable man?”

You saw him frown slightly as the air left his lungs in a huff, and he rubbed his hands together before answering.

You had been pretending for months now that everything was alright, that there was no awkwardness,no lingering feelings. It was more tiring than you thought it would be.

But there's this little whisper of what used to be, stuck in your head every time you film a scene together, everytime you wrap up filming for the day or the week and a sudden part of you forgets that your routine no longer includes him.

This little voice whispers, everytime you discuss a portion of the script with one of your castmates or anyone on the staff or production; about the long nights spent going over the initial script, stretched out on the couch of your apartment, your legs set over your lap as his hand runs absently over your calf; or his back to your chest, chestnut locks running like water between your fingers as you tell him about what you remember of Independence celebrations in your country.

That little voice reminds you of the hours spent talking about James' and Manuela's relationship as you readied yourselves to sign the contract for the biopic, of the day you decided to read what was left of all her letters to him and to Simon and from them to her, and cried about how someone with such a good heart could lose everything because of people sitting in thrones on the other side of the ocean; and then Seba's teasing

about how you said in your half-asleep state that Manuela was your Batman, not the hero you deserved but the one you needed.

You ignore that voice, that faded image of something that slipped from your fingers. You ignore it, you focus on work. You pretend not to feel anything else.

Because that voice also reminds you of how you decided not to fight for him anymore. About how you were the one to ask for some time away from each other, about how you were the one to say goodbye finally and definitely once the world decided to start telling you what your relationship was all about.

“He...he fell in love with her, I think. It was an arranged marriage, and he was so much older than her, but there had to be some semblance of love in him to turn a blind eye to the fact that she was smuggling secrets with her lover. There's even several letters, some of them made it to the film, that reveal how he begged her to come back to him, and her insistence that what she wanted of him was a friend, that she loved Simón and the revolution more than...” He trailed off, thinking of the words in Spanish, and a proud smile curved your lips.

“Su querido inglés,” You provided, and nodded at Sebastian when he pointed at his own box, ready to ask you your next question.

A few more questions were asked about the film, touching on Manuela and James' relationship, Manuela's work as a women's rights activist, and your feelings towards your characters.

You had been assured by your agent that the interview was known to be quite long, and that maybe some questions would be edited out, so you weren't worried about the time at all. You reached for Sebastian's user to question him, and before reading it out loud, you leaned back on the couch, musing out loud,

“You know, it's weird no questions about our relationship have come up.”

You laughed a little under your breath when he choked up and coughed a couple of times, eyeing you with a smirk that told him how he knew you were messing with him.

A girl popped up on the screen, big smile on her face.

“Hey guys. Personal question,” She started, and Sebastian pointed at you with a smile that made the lines around his eyes more prominent.

“You jinxed it.” He accused, to which you replied by scrunching your nose and sticking out your tongue in defiance.

The girl continued, “How did it feel, working together as close as you did, after you broke up?”

“Well, that isn't intrusive at all.” You mumbled, taking a sip of your water.

The actor before you ran a hand through his hair and looked up at you with an uncomfortable smile on his face.

“Weird. Once we started playing the character of course none of whatever happened between us matters. But, it was strange at the beginning. Like, I don't either of us knew where to stand,”

He thought the next part of his answer for a couple of seconds before blurting out, surprising you, and, you assume, giving both of your agents a heart attack.

“We didn't actually break up,” He confessed, grimacing after hearing his own words. “I mean, we are not together, but...we never said the words, did we?,” He looked at you, expecting a response, you nodded slowly. Sebastian sighed, before continuing, “It's...complicated.”

You dropped your bag by the floor next to the hotter room door, rubbing a hand over your eyes before cursing at yourself for smearing makeup all over your eyes.

With a sigh, you walked towards the bathroom, taking the clothes you readied before going out to film, and grabbing your cell-phone on the way there.

It felt odd, unbalancing, to put an end to your day without talking to Seba, but you two had agreed to take some time off to keep the strain of your busy work lives away from your relationship. Still going from talking each night, for at least a few seconds and rushed 'I-love-you's; to not being able to talk at all, it was taking a toll on you.

You only hoped to come out stronger from all of this.

It was only less than two months when the news started appearing, everywhere. Rumors about the break-up, opinions thrown left and right about why 'Marvel's golden couple' would break it off.

And the person you talked about your relationship with at the end, was not him, but your agent. You explained her the whole thing, and though as a friend she told you to reach out to Sebastian and talk to him, to work out together what your relationship had come to; as a publicist she told you waiting for everything to cool down was the best way to go.

And a couple of months of no talking became two more, and when a small and simple message from him, asking to meet up to talk about...everything; you swallowed past the part of you that told you to fight for it, and the instinct to get away before you got hurt won.

You still remembered the last argument. The tears, the resentment and the will to keep fighting but the need to give up. You knew you weren't strong enough to go through it again.

I think we both made our choice a while ago, Seba.

The reply was instantaneous. A call you rejected and a single message after it.

Do you really mean that?

You never answered. PR handled the rest, and when you got asked about your relationship by a passer-by reporter on one of your outings with Lizzie, you smiled and said breaking up was for the best.

“Yeah...complicated.” You repeated, thrumming your fingers on your dress-covered legs, before signaling for Sebastian to ask you your question.

A heartfelt question about the reaction of your country and the film community in it to have you represent such an important Latina all the way in Hollywood, that you answered with a big smile, but pausing to drink water a couple of times to swallow past the know on your throat. Again.

The pixie-looking person that asked Sebastian the next question smiled widely as they waved at the camera, and told you they had been a fan of both you and Seb since you performed together in Civil War.

Placing a strand of short hair behind their ear, they asked, “So how different is the cast from the Marvel family? Are you all close or is it more like everyone goes their way?”

Sebastian laughed and shook his head,

“It can't be each on their own. If I'm left alone in any country we are filming in, I get lost in the first five seconds.”

You leaned forward with an expressive,

“Yes! You have no idea how many times I have thought I had to call your mom to tell her I lost her impressionable son because he wouldn't stay still and can't talk Spanish to save his life.”

“And despite the possibility of losing me in the middle of Guadalajara or somewhere else, it's still a great group of people to work with,” He continued, “It became a really close group as the months went by.”

You had been doing great. Manuela's story had drawn you in completely, and considering most days the shooting was wrapped up pretty late, time to consider your situation was not really available. Which you thanked the heavens for.

But then the first day filming Manuela's fight scene against the assassins comes, and yes, the nerves are again curling at your stomach, because jumping from a balcony, no matter how many stunts you pulled in your time with Marvel, never gets less terrifying.

But then you saw Sebastian along with who is supposed to play Simón and his stunt double, smiling in his normal clothes like he was supposed to be there.

“Hey,” You approached, easy smile on your face. “I thought James' scenes were done for?”

Sebastian loweeds his gaze to the floor for a second, strained smile on his lips, and you felt a spark of...doesn't matter what.

“Yeah, they are. But I heard you were doing the fight scene today and I thought...maybe I could come here and offer support?”

The young man in the Libertador outfit smiled at your ex-boyfriend, clapping a hand on his shoulder,

“You mean another one to worry about our girl busting her ass on the fall?” He teased, and if it weren't for how the hopeful part of you, the eternal romantic still somewhere inside you replaying Sebastian's words, you would have risen to the bait.

Because you remembered the long days at the studio, Domino's costume on and muscles aching. You remembered Seba's easy smile, your complaints about how he was only there to see you get your ass beat by Chadwick. You remembered his reassurance that he only wanted to see you were safe, and the soft press of lips against your own.

You remembered your first date being on his trailer in between shots, a bag of ice on your knee and a busted lip smiling his way when he told you he couldn't wait another day to take you out, even if it was the day you miscalculated the force of Black Panther's double's hits.

You heard him laugh, but you were still trying to quieten your heart and tell it to stop hoping.

“Well, she has always been prone to accidents.”

A couple more about how you got along on set with everyone else, one or two about the reality behind the letters and documents shown in the movie, when the cameramen told you that you could wrap up after one or two more.

Another fan with a question for you, this time a young girl with blonde air smiling shyly at the camera.

“So...hi, didn't think I was gonna win actually,” She giggled, and you smiled in understanding. Again, even though they could not see it. “So here's my question. Sorry. How different was it going from filming for Marvel for so long while you were together and then filming this? Sorry.”

Memories clouded your mind, of the days before work became too much, before life became too much and hanging onto one another was more of an obligation than a decision.

Those memories took over you, making your heart race and too many pieces of advice, from friends, colleagues, the people handling this movie and even the people handling your fucking relationship repeat themselves in your head. About smiling politely when asked a rude question about the breakup, about keeping calm when receiving horrible backlash from your own fans because your life can't be only your own, about telling everyone, even yourself, that it was the best for the both of you.

But you were tired of that. You were tired of the 'stage smile', of having lost one of the best people you have met since leaving home chasing a dream, of pretending the only emotions you are in touch with are fictional characters'.

So you took a deep breath, and started.

“It was different, no use in lying. The first and only movie I filmed with Seba as while we just started to fall in love, and we decided when we were already living together to take on this movie. The fact that life fell apart around us in between was a...casualty we didn't account for.

You cleared your throat, and lowered your eyes to your hands. For an instant, you waited for Sebastian to chip in, say something agreeing with you and giving you the out of ending the answer. He didn't, so you went on.

“It was jarring at first, wrapping up, getting ready to go home or to the hotel or whatever and not having him next to me, having him to talk to about our day and what we thought about everything and nothing. I mean...there was a lot, I think, that I took for granted, or didn't account for, and only realized it was gone when...well when it was gone.”

You sniffed a little, running your hands gently under your eyes to get rid of the tears before they kept falling down your cheeks.

You breathed a laugh at yourself as you pat with your fingers against your skin, trying to even out the make up the tears erased. Rolling your eyes at yourself, you mumbled, “And now I'm crying on the internet. Great day, Y/N.

You turned your eyes to Seb, smiling a little his way.

“Most people don't have to spend every day with the person they broke up with for months so shortly after they split up, not even in our industry I think. And I guess it hurt more than I let on. But I wouldn't trade working alongside you for the world, Seba.” You assured him your smile turning surer, more even, as your heart settled back into your chest.

He smiled back your way and extends his hand. Without hesitation, you took it, squeezing once and ready to let go after that, but he seemed to hold on to it.

“I know. I also want you, and whoever is going to watch this mess, to know that you are one of the best people I've met. You are amazingly talented, and I am lucky to be working with you. I am even more lucky to one day have been someone you decided to love, and I want you to remember that.

When he choked up a little, stopping whatever he had started to say, you squeezed his hand and let your eyes find his through the mist of your own tears.

He continued, “You...whatever didn't work between us doesn't matter. We were happy once, and I think we should remember that. I loved you and I think I always will, and I want nothing more than you being happy, because you deserve it.

You paid attention to the slight movement of his jaw, and almost two years together told you he was about to cry too. You squeezed his hand again.

“And I know I can be a lot to handle most of the time, and I want you to kn...” You couldn't handle it anymore, you were seeing every insecurity he had about your relationship, his job and your life together resurface and you couldn't believe you thought for all those months hthat e was okay with all that happened between you and how things ended.

“Seba, no...”

You reached to stand up when you felt the wire of the microphone on your back, and you remembered where you were. Turning to the cameraman, you said, “Excuse me, can you cu-...”

But they weren't there. They had been the only thing left of the team for the interview, but they were long gone from the set. Frowning, you turned to Sebastian, only to see him still sitting on his side of the couch, heel of his hand pressing against his eye, the other one still holding on tightly to yours.

At your confused expression, he shrugged and explained, “I asked them to go when you started tearing up. I know you don't like people seeing you cry.

You huffed something between a laugh and a sob, and started shaking your head. This only seemed to set him on edge, instead of letting him know you were thankful for his thoughtfulness. Sebastian wrapped his other hand over the one he was already holding, tugging you a little closer.

With you standing up, he had to look up to have his eyes meet yours.

“Listen, I'm sorry I'm telling you all of this now, but the tour is almost over, and I know I should've said something before but I don't wanna lose-...mfph.”

You stopped his rant by throwing your arms around his shoulders, hiding your wet face in the crook of his neck,

“I know, Seba, I know.”

His arms wrapped around your waist and back, holding you close, and you felt as if you were taking the first unobstructed breaths oi months.

After a few minutes, you broke apart and you reached up to straighten the collar of his shirt with a smile as one of his hands still lingered on your waist.

“So...” You mused, eyes glued to the piece of clothing you pretended you want to fix, “What do you say about coffee?”

I’m sorry. I know it is kinda long and not at all that good, hehe. But thank you for reading! And please let me know what you think, even if it is to tell me you didn’t like it/why. Thank you! Love, Luce.

If you liked it please leave any sort of review, even if it is just a comment on anon or smth. I wanna know if I should write more of these, how to improve, anything. Thank you.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #rpf fanfiction #mcu rpf #fanfiction

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Feast your eyes and your shelves on October’s

SPD Recommends *Backlist*,

ten still-so-relevant titles selected by our very own Matthew Hedley!

1. Cold Genius - Aaron Kunin

Have you heard Aaron Kunin get excited about Milton yet? In love with things that are funny because he loves them, like Milton’s bible fan fiction, or Chiquita banana, or language meaning a particular thing. Is it fair to say Kunin’s quote clusters are a joke, a reflexive reassurance, a kindness that doesn’t force words down your throat, a presentation, a kindness, so that his book feels deeply kind. I appreciate the Ben Lerner blurb – “it occurs to me often to be grateful for his work.” Because I am, also, deeply grateful. Reviewers seem to delight in calling him a genius – because it’s in the title, maybe – but this book is so much more interesting than that. He’s a genius, who cares, “genius” is really a silly thing, don’t you think? It’s a brand, maybe, or something a lover says and is misunderstood and misunderstood until he figures in a Kunin poem.

2. Trances of the Blast - Mary Ruefle

This book of Ruefle poems is an odd gem. Its title is given the lie by the duration of its gaze. A stanza for the thing, a stanza for the feeling about the thing, a stanza for life after living with the thing. Remember Inception? That movie all the memes come from? This book has all the immediacy of an explosion in that movie, as time dilates wider and wider, until we’ve forgotten we were running from an explosion in the first place. What was that movie about? Or – wait, what’s this book about? It’s not exactly still, since there’s so much life ahead to get to, and it has pace, some yearning to be turned on, left on, but its movement comes from turnabout, the unwieldy and furry shift of a person looming in the midst of a poem.

And so I have had to deal with wild intractable people all my days and have been led astray in a world of shattered moonlight and beasts and trees where no one ever curtsies anymore or has an understudy. So I have gone up to the little room in my face, I am making something out of a jar of freckles and a jar of glue

I hated childhood. I hate adulthood. And I love being alive.

3. Monk Eats an Afro - Yolanda Wisher

This book is embodied poetry, the talked about but rarely seen kind. It’s important that the book is anachronistic in its sensitivity – Cry of Jazz came out in 1959, Monk Eats an Afro in 2014 – but Wisher loves jazz, and is good at it. The Sonia Sanchez blurb should be a giveaway of how in scene this book is to Philadelphia, to Philly jazz, to clubs where Sonia still holds court at a central table, with similar tables around, Wisher at another, someone, maybe Dawn Evans holds down a third, there aren’t that many tables but they’re mostly full, with men and women who make Philly great. Sure, I’m being overly romantic, because this is a literal memory I have, being in that room, being in my hometown, sometimes it feels like it might disappear, also – this book is romantic. Its romance poems are downright sexy, and god, when Wisher swings into a rhyme at the end of a stanza it rings out. There’s a body at risk here, recounting personal experience with a heady sense of its own cultural touchpoints. There’s something conservative about a jazz fanatic in this day and age – to go through every day hearing what the radio does while still pulling back to Monk and fam takes work, a love of the way things were – which, in context with the rest of this list, makes a deep commentary on how conservative poetry as a whole really is. Because this book feels novel and standout amidst the others of the list for how separate its references are. No other book on this list is more than one degree of separation (in terms of debt owed) from John Ashbery, and this book might be two, and that makes all the difference. It’s not that it’s “anti-academic,” because that term posits the academy as the thing, and everything else as lying in opposition. But I remember a creative writing professor ask a creative writing graduate student what she could possibly talk to a slam poet about. Monk Eats an Afro is incommunicable with that sort of thinking. Not opposition – a powerful voice, sure in her self.

4. Stories in the Worst Way - Gary Lutz

This book makes me want to write better. Lutz’ style should be ponderous -- the whole text appears at a glance almost as marginalia, like liner notes on liner notes, but nothing is frantic. Somehow it feels calm, even, impossibly, focused. Which can be a little frustrating -- the game of the title STORIES IN THE WORST WAY always cycling through my mind as I am shocked by the talent. Because they are really well written and make you jealous and more than a little productive. Lutz makes me write. Because he really can write, and his overcrowded margin of a text feels absolutely effortless and easy for him, which is also impossible, and also untrue, and it’s – god, it’s frustrating! But if I didn’t have this book around, what other book could I use to make myself write. I admit, I throw this book around a lot. It’s a really nice weight and size to be thrown, and then picked up, mumble a bit, read the same story again, somehow write four pages, go for a walk, turn around mid-walk, come home and read the same story, write some more. It’s a book I love and picked from thousands of titles here at SPD -- and if you can’t handle being jealous and productive, I just don’t even know you.

5. Videogames for Humans: Twine Authors in Conversation - edited by merritt kopas

This book of playthroughs, essays, contexts, games and game-ified writing is unique and complex. Twine as a digital platform stands alongside all my other distant dreams of choice mediums for preventing academia and the state from incorporating language and work into their narrative. But, unfortunately, the space remains uncurated in meaningful ways to further that vision, which, as Wikipedia will tell you (by omission or deletion mill), perpetuates the same power structures as the world outside. So: CRY$TAL WARRIOR KE$HA (made pre-$ removal) is on the sample page today (looking absolutely amazing), while the most recent review is some undergraduate freshboy’s takedown of its writing structure. Which is to say that the academy is always uncomfortably present in the history and training of creators, players, readers – and even in the essays in VIDEOGAMES FOR HUMANS. The tension in the book’s movement back and forth between Kesha and undergraduate with a grudge is what makes the book so incredibly worthwhile. Beyond just a book for digital language nerds like myself, this collection feels so important for asking questions of how to create positive art spaces. Teenaged entertainment proposes an answer, negated in the misogyny of Lil Yachty, reconstituted in the queer narratives of Twine, complicated in the reactionary nature of write-ups… How will any of us make art in a time where to be an instrument of the state is such a bald-faced violence? But magic and a joy in loving self-sabotage shows a glimmer of hope:

“There’s this assumption that if you stray from The Scientific Method into actually caring about things like lying on the floor of your room in the middle of the afternoon with black canvas hung over the curtains to keep the sun out with a single candle burning, wearing lipstick—even though you pretty much don’t wear lipstick any other time in your life—sort of meditating and sort of tripping off sensory deprivation and sort of falling asleep, that you had better take that weird stuff just as seriously and humorously as scientists are supposed to take science. Like basically magic can’t be weird or fun or fucked up or stupid on purpose. Which is wrong!”

6. Event Factory - Renee Gladman

Event Factory – There’s a setpiece of science fiction where worldbuilding, forced to include some cultural background for the book, treats us to speculative songs and poetry that are, let’s be honest, always awful. The cantina songs, the God-Whispers of Han Qing-Jao, the water songs of the Fremen – let’s be real, these are painful moments. Even Delany – sorry. But then you have Gladman, a luminary poet, writing her Ravicka novels, and suddenly, writing becomes speculative in parsing and content. There’s all the textured concentration and phrasing her talent begets, combined with a character-driven, engaging and difficult science fiction novel. So that our transportation occurs on every level – not escapism, because the density of idea and descriptor doesn’t admit such an easy movement – as we are other before it. It’s a deeply disturbing book, to be sure. The disassociative trip of finding things already happening to yourself makes the book a Ketamine nightmare in its darkest, half-sexual, half-prone. That’s a warning, I suppose, or as much of a warning as I can give for a book I’d like you to read. It’s a book of recollections, and it often recalls the worst. Go read it.

7. In the Time of the Blue Ball - Manuela Draeger, translated by Brian Evenson

This is the only book on this list I didn’t know beforehand, but god DAMN. It reminds me of Kathryn Davis, but with a different set of idiosyncrasies. Or Monica Furlong’s deeply strange cousin. Or it’s not really like another person, but an outstanding talent all to itself that speaks in an unusual voice, with a style and focus all her own. Still, it’s hard not to try to put it in context, because I hadn’t heard of Draeger previously. Shelley Jackson wrote the back cover blurb, and if you’re not down with Shelley Jackson, there’s nothing I can say to convince you to read this.

“I’m warning you, Potemkine,” said the tiger. “Now, here we are together in too small of a space. It’d be better if you didn’t wiggle in front of me. In the darkness, I could imagine that you were running.”

“I don’t look like a wharf rat,” I said.

“When someone starts running in front of me, it’s too late for distinctions between species,” said Gershwin.

Half-accessible, half-mystic fantasy that flirts with various reading levels, IN THE TIME OF THE BLUE BALL is a gorgeous book of fiction. With thanks to Brian Evenson for a stellar translation.

8. This Lamentable City - Polina Barskova, translated by Ilya Kaminsky

He lies naked on something white, She laughs above She covers him With her pearl, her body her Star, her body her snow, her body On top of the word “strange,” On top of the word “fright.”

Barskova wanders the city and chronicles, and edits, and edits, and edits what she sees. This book is beautifully refined, calm, sure.

“In our village where small animals live slowly And humans jump on them.”

I’d like to do this little feature with only quotes, quotes and gasps afterward. The above a reaction to finding the scattered remains of snails in the lane. I hope it snows where you read this, in the evening.

9. The Feel Trio - Fred Moten

Fred Moten. Glory, Fred Moten. One of the most talented writers of a generation who makes the balance of phrasing and legibility feel effortless. Not that every line is beach-read-legible, but that his word clusters are drop-dead gorgeous, and always feel intentioned and deserved. Throughout his published works, Moten remains a cheat-sheet for debut writers – “how do I get away with putting this really fabulous but loud phrase in my writing” – but THE FEEL TRIO is a monstrosity of confidence, even for him.

“this a service on the surface for frank wilderness and carl flippant. my absolute beauty studies feelings in an open afterlife. I hold him and I’ve lost and I feel it in my hands and the sharp distance of his little bother, explosive flower of I’m not ready and don’t want to.”

10. That They Were at the Beach - Leslie Scalapino

My favorite book of poetry has somehow never been on a previous SPD Recommends Backlist. The narrator of the book fascinates me – defensive in language, insecure in relative positions, honest in gaze – in her movements between mechanism and pathos. The formalization of language, centered around the em dash – pretending to be a device of clarity – reminds me of coding languages, its Turing-complete, it’s a half step from language, but in this case not towards clarity but something else, something that masquerades as clarity but is poetry. Which isn’t an opposite of clarity, but it’s not the same thing either. I find it impossible not to copy this book’s phrasing for months after I reread it, so I’m trying to be good here. It’s the book that made me love poetry.

#instar books #fence books #wave books #hanging loose press #tupelo press #letter machine editions #north point press #dorothy a publishing project #calamari press

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