#I’ve always had those thoughts

[yaolmao]

simp

#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE #my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life #this changes everything #I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle?? #I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on #anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing #I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat #ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing #like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems #I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk #chuuya nakahara #dazai Osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #myart #I’m gonna post and pass out now

[horse-head-farms]

🪼slime-kisser Follow

all these posts like “don’t shop at boatem they support cannibalism” “the evil empire is a crypto scam” “don’t buy at octagon they’re trying to destroy the fabric of the universe” where the FUCK else am I supposed to shop????

🐠xbcrafted Follow

may i recommend horse head farms? we sell a variety items for agreeable prices and have alternate payment plans which mean you don’t have to spend a single diamond! you can find us via the nether hub <3

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

do NOT shop at Horse Head Farms! Their items are incredibly overpriced (you can find grass, logs, etc for better prices) and this “alternative payment scheme” is actually signing an IOU. If you don’t know what that is, IOU stands for “I Owe You” and is a legal document that, when possessed, someone can force you to do anything. Literally anything. LegalKnight does a great video going into detail about it. According to this article, Horse Head Farms have just invested in building an auction house, possibly to sell off the IOUs they’ve acquired, so scummy CEOs could force you to work at their companies. Not to mention, their owners are incredibly sketchy, xBCrafted regularly tweets conspiracy theories and Hypnotizd invests in crypto

😵‍💫hypnotizd Follow

youre wrong actually, i have had nothing but brilliant service at Horse Head Farms. IOUs arent sketchy theyre normal pieces of paper. #shoptoday

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

… you’re literally one of the owners

🐸cottagecoreliving Follow

to answer the original question, here’s a list of more reputable businesses that you can support instead!

Tays Trees

HIVE-DR8

Joe Hills’ Flower Stalls

Big Eyes

🥚dragon-tegg Follow

hey not to derail this post or anything but is anyone going to mention how OP literally fetishises slime hybrids???

( 7,067 notes )

🌃elytramoments Follow

hate when i crashland in the lava biome

🐶renrobert Follow

you mean the nether

🌃elytramoments Follow

i do not

#i think it’s a national park or something #idk its like this for miles #its near boatem

( 15.4k notes )

👁️big-eyes Follow

This weekend at Big Eyes we are having a #SALE of up to 99% OFF! EVERY item has a discount! Don’t waste your diamonds, shop at Big Eyes!

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

sweetfaces! we are going into debt! please buy ❤️❤️💕❤️🍆😭😭😭❤️ -papa k

👁️big-eyes Follow

kerlais why woudl you reblog on that account

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

we need all the reach we can get bubbles! ❤️😝❤️❤️🍆💕 -papa k

( 14 notes )

#always love stuff where it shows what social media is like in a fictional universe #anyways i headcanon season 8 had normal people going around and shopping in those shops. its so funny to think about #i’ve seen posts like these before and thought i’d have a go at them! #tbh i don’t think c!hypno would have a tumblr but for the purposes of this. its funny #fake post #unreality #<- i think i tag that for this? #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft season 8 #hermitcraft s8 #hhf

[softsleepwalker]

I feel I am a tolerable person

#and I say this to imply that past versions of myself seem impossible to tolerate #and yet I have people in my life who did and I’m grateful for them but also feel guilt #I still have these thoughts of damn I’m annoying #I’ve always had those thoughts #but for a solid 3 years I feel like I walked I to every room like I was a ticking time bomb and forced everyone to del with that #does that make sense? #like I would be actively suicidal at brunch and be like ‘no one knows’ #but everyone knew and I’m sure it was kinda stressful to be friends with someone who was ready to jump off a cliff at any minute #same with Ed stuff like for me to hang out and purposefully not eat made people uncomfortable or when I got a little too high #(bc I hadn’t eaten) #I feel like I subjected everyone in my life— my first real kind friends— to watching a car crash always #and I acted like I didn’t expect them to deal with it and didn’t wanna worry them with it but like. I still did the things I did #and got confused when people were worried or frustrated with me #I know this is all just a disease called being 18-20 #and I’m grateful to have people who stuck with me through that all. I kinda emerged from lockdown a more mellow person #plus they only see me a few times a year #and I have to wonder like. even though I am doing well now- have I conditioned them to worry and never relax #or is it like- now that I’m not actively a threat to myself they’re reconsidering why we are friends in the first place #are they happy for my progress but wondering where the person they knew went— are they happy they’re gone? #many questions for one guy to have at 9AM #going to drag brunch later with pixie who I haven’t seen in forever and who has always been real #just needed to rant. will delete later lol.

[iguessitsjustme]

I can’t stop thinking about that scene in the library where Day drops the CDs and Mhok just watches him because it perfectly encapsulates why Day chooses Mhok out of everyone else to be his caretaker.

It’s not about the fact that Mhok treats him normally because everyone’s normal is different. For me, if I see someone drop something and struggle to pick it up, I jump in and help regardless of the reason it was dropped. Because that’s the kind of person I am. That’s normal for me, but it’s not normal for Mhok.

The reason Mhok is chosen is because he treats Day as capable. He knows Day can walk to him to get his library card. He knows Day can pick up the CDs. He doesn’t ignore Day’s disability but he doesn’t treat him like he’s limited by it (at least at first I’m sure this will change as he takes care of Day).

When Mhok crashed showed up for the initial interview, Day made a snarky comment about the reason they were hiring someone was because he can’t even manage to eat on his own without injuring himself. Day is tired and he’s angry and he used to be an athlete and now he can’t even feed himself without his mother worrying.

Day is angry about his situation but behind that and buried very deep is fear that this is his life forever. That he will never see again and he will need to rely on people for the rest of his life. Then Mhok comes along and he’s also angry. Mhok’s pain and grief isn’t something that can ever be cured but it can be healed. And their anger speaks to each other. Mhok sees the anger and fear and pain in Day and understands and sees his own anger and pain reflected back.

Also no one treats Mhok like he’s capable despite his skill set because of his past. He was in jail? Oh well I guess suddenly he doesn’t know how to be a mechanic anymore. Mhok and Day need each other because they treat each other as more than what society sees them as and they treat each other like they’re capable of more than the shit hands they’ve been dealt.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #last twilight series #I had to sit and ruminate on this for a minute #I’ve just not processed the episode #also I hate to tell y’all but I think the show is gonna end with day getting his sight back #and you’re not gonna believe it from me because I’m always yelling about glasses #but in this case I think it’s fine if day gets his sight back #the show has specifically set up a possibility for that in the first episode #it wouldn’t be some magical cure where he wakes up one day and his sight it fixed #it’s also something that the character himself would want not something that another character imposes on him #looking at youuuu top and mew and the lasik #anyway I have more thoughts on that but those are thoughts for later maybe

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines. #like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.) #i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long: #all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o. #liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs. #if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡 #the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is. #far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…) #also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

aau infection au What Then..

#This isn’t real it’s just an idea I thought seemed fun bc I’m a sucker for the infection au trend/mlp grimdarks lol #Also ???? I think this is the first time I’ve actually posted art that includes mjs Barbie anatomy dang #I’ve drawn it like once or twice before but never posted it bc it always had spoilers in those doodle sheets Womp Womp #Ig you get that now then. Shrugs #Aau #a!au #not doing any other tags bc it’s stupid au specific lol #Ignore my shit spelling I wasn’t bothered to double check anything bc these are v rough lol

[pocketclowns]

ngl it’s kinda messed up how easy it is to make espresso

#i’ve always thought you had to get one of those super expensive espresso makers #no bitch you can make it on your stove in like 5 minutes !!!!!!

[raeofgayshine]

I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.

For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.

#ravenpuff rambles #I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times #several of whom are still in my life now #but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place #I don’t know how to explain it #I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit #and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me #maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind #never had someone quite get that before #and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart #admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming #and so maybe that helps #but it’s like #Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘ #‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’ #It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word #anyways #I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me #and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream #no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay #its nothing and everything like I always thought of #and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness #yes I wish I could see them in person #but I can be okay with everything I do get

[lovablegf]

i come back to tumblr approximately once every six months to reblog a bunch of shit and then dip again

#gotta let the people know i’m still alive and well #i think tumblr used to be like a journal and a friend in a way #it’s interesting to think about how tumblr used to be the place where i had everything #every thought and feeling is on this blog somewhere #lots of people i’ve been following on here for like 8 years now #feels like one of those friends you don’t see because they live far away but you both know you’re still just as close and the same as you #always were #n e wayz #zoe rambles

[undyinglantern]

#kemonomimi #nekomimi #no idea if there’s other specific terms those are the only 2 I’ve heard before #everything else has always been [animal]boy/girl #before we actually got polls on here I was drawing a thing and notice how short their hair was #bc I had brainrot and was gonna give them can ears before going. WAIT. FOUR EARS FEELS WRONG….. #i never finished or posted the thing anywhere but the thoughts been bothering me ever since #this was supposed to be my first poll too when we got them but oops oh well

[corrodedcoughin]

You!!! Make this community a better place!!! Thank you for grazing in the Steddie nation!!

#you ever watch a documentary on autism in ‘women and girls’ and SO MUCH of it hits home and makes sense but not all of it 100% so doubt #yourself even though over 75% fits when you’ve been thinking this might be The Right Fit but don’t have a formal diagnosis and probably #will never get one #BUT THEN get really upset because it’s in ‘women and girls’ and you don’t want to be either of those and it hurts in a way you can’t explan #and then worry you are over analysing everything and making things out to be more than they are #idk idk just thoughts to vent out I don’t need a reply so please don’t feel obligated or anything #I mean talking abt it is always interesting but I’m not expecting anything #as all of my posts are!! never an obligation! ever!!! #idk man just thinking out loud and tag talking is my way becaude a full text post is too Much #I just hope everyone is doing okay???? AND!!! I hope you are enjoying yourselves??? #in some way!! #because I’ve come back and seeing the creativity and joy and community here js so lovely #I wish I had the time to reblog everybody’s work and exclaim the details and feeling of it all #because regardless of fic shit post art edit gifs it’s all INCREDIBLE. it brings so much emotion to so many and you deserve the recognition #and credit for it because yes you do it for yourself but the feedback is always nice. always. #I just want people to be encouraged to create idk you are all so wonderful and I need you to know that #OKAY I’m done back to Normal reblogs and ask answering and whatever else I can provide #sorry!!!

[mars-ipan]

If you could relive any memory of your past, what would it be?

great question! it’s hard for me to say. past a certain point, my memory just starts getting… vague. i remember that important events happened, and i remember how i felt, but i don’t remember the physical experience of having been going through them.

i think i’d like to just relive a normal day at elementary school. i remember the words people used to describe me when i was that age, but i don’t remember what it felt like to BE me at that age very well. i know i was able to hold conversations with my mom’s scientist coworkers (which they were all impressed by), i know i was frustrated when, in the bathroom, girls who knew my twin brother would walk up to me and go “oh! are you [name]’s sister?” because i was referred to as his sister more often than my own name after a certain point (just what happens when your class is the same group of kids for 4 years ig). i know i was sensitive, and prone to tears. but i don’t remember what it felt like to just. go to class. and do my homework. and Exist. yanno?

i think being able to remember what it felt like to just be 8 years old and going about my 8 year old day would give me a lot of insight into why i am who i am now. i want to remember the little girl that i was better

#ask #fabulousnomatterwhat #can you guys tell i’ve been doing a lot of introspection lately #had to for multiple assignments. it’s wild when you don’t really know or remember exactly who you are #i actually made one of those assignments ABOUT that. my performance art piece :] #anyways!!! #another part of it is like. i was a happy child. but i know i’ve had anxiety for my entire life #and i want to know if baby me was just. scared. all the time. and went forward anyways #if she was she was fucking strong as shit bc she barely had any idea about her anxiety #i mean. my mom was always like ‘i think you may have inherited my anxiety kiddo’ but i never like. thought about it more than that #not until middle school at least. it was just ‘i might have anxiety! anyways’ #yeagh

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Cannot sleep :/

#just pav things #lying awake here with Inigo meta thoughts #specifically the nuances of why he never intervened when Archie and Dism were fighting #He is torn between these two ideas of reality— whether Archie is dead or alive. That is true. #But eventually the latter idea takes more of a foothold; which is just a recipe for mental disarray #It’s a break from the comfortable cycle of self-hatred and destruction. So this new thought has to be counteracted to maintain inertia #So as I understand it he’s now caught on those lingering feelings of abandonment that Archie has left him with. and he is Not Happy. #Because just as he interpreted himself as being a replacement for Dism #He’s interpreting Archie and his little motley crew as a further refusal to move on from the past #And because Inigo acts on impulse (as seen best with the 💥 arm getting blown off) he’s using that momentary anger #to distract himself from the core issue as he lashes out ✨ #He’s kind of a hypocrite that one. Stresses the importance of embracing unpleasant memories as a fundamental part of your character #(To the point of berating Idyllia for going the total memory wipe route instead) #but he is ALSO an escapist at heart. Neither of them want their definition of pain so they both have terrible routines to try avoiding it ✌ #I’m sorry if this made no sense Dolphin I will probably do a retake with more braincells in the next few days #You know I’ve been analysing the design of this kindergarten in sydney for VCD #It’s called Nubo. Now I’ve always had a fondness for Scandinavian aesthetics but this is PEAK #So I went down a research rabbit hole and I came out of it with a clear concept for what Amonea Montessori School should feel like! #It’s this sort of cross-concept between stereotypical Australian architecture and hygge #Those oak panels and muted colours and glass everywhere #And I can carry through to an overall unique visual identity for Amonea #After all Byrgir should feel similarly detached from Earth in it’s own subtle ways #Tapping more into solarpunk and that overall comforting feeling for Amonea in particular~ #I’m so happy :D

[sakizm]

me 10 yrs ago grocery shopping: oh no i HAVE to wear my CIs! can’t leave the house without them! i have to hear what the cashier says even if they don’t say anything!

me now grocery shopping: *doesn’t wear CIs* lol what’s up guys i’m deaf so i can’t hear *buys stuff and leaves*

#i’ve come a long ways. i used to think i HAVE to wear my CIs leaving the house #even for a quick trip to the grocery store #i grew up mainstreamed so there’s YEARS of stuff to unlearn #and tell myself it’s OK to not want to wear CIs to public spaces! #i love ordering my coffe from starbucks cause i’ll show them my order via my phone notepad #and the cashier will do a thumbs up to let me know they got the order. love it when they sign ‘thank you’ back when i do lol #but obviously the hearing world is not always so accommodating to deaf people #and we have to fight for those basic accommodations #i’m just proud of myself for feeling more comfortable going to public space with no CIs on #cause i always thought i had to be the one to accommodate hearing ppl when it should be the other way around!! #whew glad i’m unlearning that. i’m 30 and it’s never too late to do so #don’t mind sakizm #deaf #actually deaf

[arthur-r]

(wrote this song before i left for college but it’s sure applicable to life right now!!!!)

lyrics: falling from grace, i’m a rusting lace artifact / tears down my face as i break my immortal pact / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / please, i just want one more chance to prove that i could be the— / best friends know how to reveal me / best friends know how hard i try to have something to say / best friends know that it’s not helping / can i just go far away to where there’s nowhere else to— / turn around, up and down, i’m melting!!!! / turn around, i have something to say!!!! / color bleeding, heartbeat leaving, need a place to lay my head / arms are folded, fine print bolded, everything is overloaded!!!!!!!! / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / trust me, i know that i’m broken….

#when i write a song and don’t know what it means and then i have a breakdown and suddenly know what it means #turns out i have been compartmentalizing since i was a VERY young child as if there are two parts of me completely separate #and one of them is this golden child perfect person always so ready to please #and the other one is a literal fucking monster. that’s how i’ve been thinking about myself since i was a little kid #and i sort of. i had a breakdown about that last week and then yesterday i was so upset about not being able to separate myself from illness #how i’ve always been treated and treated myself as if there’s a perfectly healthy person in there somewhere who is just plagued with demons #so i’m constantly reaching for this person that doesn’t exist and never has and never will #because i can’t accept myself as a whole being complete with good and bad parts of me #it’s also just autism/POTS venting shdhdhdf but i knew that much #it wasn’t until i thought about my childhood though that i realized i’ve always been autistic i’ve always had mobility issues (though less) #and that i have never let myself integrate those aspects of myself into my permanent identity. like i’m waiting for them to go away so i can #prove myself and show how good i can be at just being normal. so i don’t know. anyway here’s a song #P.S. i processed my emotions so good and i’m normal now. gonna get dinner with that guy today and have a normal person conversation #so don’t worry about me. i pretty much fell asleep after i posted and i’m doing a lot better now #anyway i’m not great at this instrument shdhdf and i’ve also been crying so like as a piece of music this isn’t great #but as an expression of a feeling and idea. these are the feelings and ideas i’ve been thinking about #of all the things to theoretically be overheard by a ton of neighbors though. living in a dorm is nerve-wracking!!!! #most people don’t hang around my dorm at this time of day though i’ll be alright. hope everyone is doing well #me. my post. mine. #ask to tag #music

[sesamestreep]

WIP tag game

tagged by the lovely and thoughtful @firstelevens 🥰

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

this is not ALL of them because I’m a maniac who needs to have 19 WIPs going at all times but these are all of the drafts I’ve added to recently/that I still consider active WIPs:

MIDDLE AGED GAY FLUFF

college shenanigans for the soul

florence nightingale effect is NOT real but it can still hurt you

gilded age turn of the century ass love story

oh god we gotta find another dessert themed lyric now

this is OUT OF HAND, you monster!!

thots and prayers

hope springs eternal (that this draft will ever see the light of day)

I’m far too lazy/sleepy to tag anyone, but if this crosses your dash and you’re a writer (or any other kind of fan artist/creator) and you want to do this, consider this your invitation to join in! ♥️

#I always try to come up with doc titles that make me laugh or poke fun at myself #so that when I’m mad at myself for not making enough progress or I hate everything I’ve written #I get a little poke from past me not to be so serious all the time #anyway I think all of these are mattfoggy I don’t know if that’s good or bad news for yall #I thought I had a few recents for other pairings but I think those are all prompt fills #and thus in their own doc all together #and not included here #wip game #tag game #homelywenchsociety #that’s my writing tag! don’t worry about it!