#I'd love to hear other people's experiences

[hinaypod]

How scary is the show? As a fellow Canadian and lover of ADs, Hi Nay has been on my radar for a while, but I've hesitated because I'm not generally a big fan of horror. I can handle some, but don't like being terrified. What level would you say the show is at, from "cosy listening" to "will give you nightmares"? Thanks! :)

I like to compare the scary levels of Hi Nay to that of the series Supernatural - the first three seasons are properly spooky, but then as it becomes more plot driven it's less straightforwardly scary and more horror fantasy.

In Hi Nay, we do some spooky sound effects here and there, but I don't think we'll give anyone nightmares~ I'd say, if you've listened to the Magnus Archives, that we're just a bit scarier than that SFX wise, but only for a couple of episodes. The scariest we get are Episode 1: Bulok (Rot), Episode 12: Pagbigti (Hanging), and Episode 25: Talikuran (Turn Your Back).

Each episode has extensive trigger warnings to help people decide what they can handle content-wise.

Most of the rest of the series isn't too spooky, though some may be conceptually scary. But I'd love to hear other listeners chime in as well about how spooky you all think Hi Nay is!

People call us cozy listening regardless of all this, but I think that's because of our characters 😊 They have a fantastic and compelling relationship, and they add a level of comedy and warmth that helps combat the scares.

Tl;dr It might help to listen to us in the daytime for some of our episodes, but the overall experience isn't just all scares, and I hope you get to listen and enjoy anyway!

#hinaypod #hi nay podcast #horror podcast #hi nay #audio drama #filipino podcast #queer podcast #horror audio drama #canadian podcast #ask box

[plushie-lovey]

Anyone who's an adult and a plushie collector. Do you still play with your stuffed animals/have you gone back to playing with them? And I mean full on playing, not just taking them someplace to take photos.

I have an urge to start playing with my plushies again, but idk if I could actually do it. Atm my version of "playing" with them is taking pics, or staring at them while imagining the stories I want to tell with them. Or I'll pick one or two of them up and wiggle their limbs and stuff around a bit then put them down back. It still feels...silly? I guess? To play with them? But I still want to. But the part of me that cringes holds me back. So it'd be nice to know what some other collectors do!

#plushies #I used to love playing with stuffed animals #soup is the only plushie I'd say I play with #but I don't make him talk or anything like that #I just like to shake him around n put him in silly positions but thats it #but idk if that counts #I'd love to hear other people's experiences #also I have some questions for people who read these tags who qanna respond to the post: #how did you get back into playing with plushies? #did you ever stop? #if so how did it feel to pick plushies back up and play with them again? #did you have to get over a feeling of embarrassment or did you embrace it without any worry or thought? #thank you all in advanced. I look forward to everyone's responses #viti shoosh

[etz-ashashiyot]

Here's a question for the rest of you:

How do you experience joy? What does it feel like for you?

Because I'm realizing that I experience other types of happiness - mirth at good humor, delight at things that invoke secondary feelings like wonder or awe or that are just very charming, tranquility when things are (at least for the moment) calm and I am able to be content - but joy, enduring simcha?

I'm not sure I've actually ever experienced that, at least not in a way I can articulate.

If you do, how does it feel?

#it's double depression babes hour over here lol #I have both longstanding dysthymia punctuated by major depressive episodes #so #uhh #yeah #I'd love to hear how other people experience the world #as a side note #I think this is why I hang on to and retain things that make me laugh for so long #because I *need* that humor to cheer me up sometimes #it's basically a survival skill at this point

[specterofyou]

Apparently goats wag their tails when happy... So I had to do something with this information in a quick* sketch

*It took me over six hours {insert parade emoji which renders this entire joke pointless because there isn't one}⛈️

#writing Mint's route just makes me want the aspecs (Justice #Mint and Rei) to be happy for once... #tmj: mint #tmj: rei #the memory journal #some of my favorite interactions to write are between the two since they can just be unguarded around the other... #and neither of them know they're loved by the other until... UNTIL SPECTER'S UGLY SOBBING HOURS #anyways... when Rei experiences gender dysphoria it's always Mint who's there to reassure them #when Mint breaks down after reliving a memory from their past Rei's there to hold them and dry their tears #also I'd like to say #thanks everyone for all the support especially lately #been going through some stuff and it's really appreciated #I fall into this trap often of feeling like my work is unoriginal and unimportant but hearing that it brightens people's day #helps a lot #I hope I can continue making a positive impact like that #take care and I hope you're having a good day

[magentagalaxies]

having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not

#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th #idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self #like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me #but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in #but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them #and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad??? #which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended??? #but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????'' #even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half #if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it #(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out) #but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender) #and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting #which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he #and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that #but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender) #was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels #scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself #which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing. #so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender #bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine #and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it #but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college

[gettothestabbing]

What does a Christian Science Nurse do and how do you get qualified as one? Asking as someone with a lifelong interest in religion.

Hi, thanks for asking! A Christian Science Nurse takes care of patients who are receiving Christian Science treatment. It is specific to the Christian Science denomination.

The major requirements are that you: be a member in good standing of both a branch and the Mother Church of Christ Scientist; take Primary class instruction; receive training from an accredited Christian Science nursing facility across four levels (not including an assistantship which is not required at all facilities but was how I started); participate in regular Bible study and be a spiritual help and comfort to your patients; and embody the qualities in the 'Aids in sickness' passage:

Prayers, in which God is not asked to heal but is besought to take the patient to Himself, do not benefit the sick. An ill-tempered, complaining, or deceitful person should not be a nurse. The nurse should be cheerful, orderly, punctual, patient, full of faith, — receptive to Truth and Love. (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 395:15) [Truth and Love are one of the seven synonym-names we use for God.]

I began working in this field in 2018 as an assistant. I am now a Level 4 apprentice. I work full-time on the floor and so my final level is going slowly, but I should be done by the end of next year! The highest level of education is to be Journal-listed. This means you advertise your name in the back of the Christian Science Journal, a monthly church periodical that also has names of churches, practitioners, and nursing facilities after about 40-50 pages of spiritual articles. Only as a JL could I, for example, be head of the floor or eventually a Director of Christian Science Nursing. I did a stint of care in private homes in 2020-2021, and let me tell you, if you're not a JL, you are not given almost any respect. I would not work in a private home again unless I was a JL.

Usually patients have been Christian Scientists for a number of years and rely wholly on this treatment. Although I believe that being a church member is not a strict requirement to be a patient, the vast majority of people receiving this treatment are in the church already. Patients are also free to stop care at any time and be transferred to a regular nursing home or a hospital. I have seen patients leave to treat an urgent issue medically and return within a week to continue with us.

(There is no stigma related to doing this in the vast majority of branch churches. My own father had such an experience after a stroke several years ago. The love and support our family had from fellow church-members did not waver or change at all when he decided to pursue medical treatment.)

Someone undergoing a Christian Science treatment will not simultaneously be taking medication for the condition being treated. So I do not administer medication, nor do I have a medical degree. A patient has also never asked me for such medication or tried to get me to sneak any in. We do, however, use mobility aids, bandages, and some lotions to soothe irritated skin. In the Christian Science nursing facility I work at, and in almost all the accredited ones we have, hospital-style beds are used for ease of care and to allow patients to shift positions more comfortably. We've also used mattresses that circulate air inside, and some very creative pillow arrangements, to increase a patient's comfort.

Patients choose a Christian Science practitioner pray for and with them. Practitioners have taken an adult religious class called Primary class instruction (taught by a practitioner with decades of experience and approved by the Mother Church). Almost all CS adults take this class, and it is also one of the first requirements for becoming a Level 1 Christian Science Nurse. But most adults have careers in non-religious fields; a practitioner solely works to pray with and treat other Christian Scientists. We have no clergy in our church, but Christian Science practitioners/nurses/teachers are accorded a similar level of respect within the church.

A Christian Science Nurse is the person providing physical care, while the practitioner usually gives spiritual care remotely over the phone. We work together with patients and their practitioners, making sure that the patient is not misleading the practitioner as to their actual state of health and that we as Christian Science Nurses can give the patient spiritual support consistent with the themes the practitioner is presenting to them.

In practical terms, I am a non-medical nurse. I clean and bandage wounds and swollen limbs. I give showers and sponge baths, sometimes while the person remains in bed. I wheel people places in wheelchairs or walk them there with a walker or cane. I change their clothes, help style their hair, and change out briefs and pads as necessary. I use lifters and slings to transport patients from bed to wheelchair to recliner and back again. I read, sing to, and play hymns for my patients and other patients at the nursing facility. We have lots of conversations, and I help them call their loved ones. I also feed and make snacks for them every day.

These are all tasks quite similar to those performed by most employees of most nursing homes. The spiritual dimension of care is what sets us apart from other workers and from other facilities. Some CS people prefer to have injuries bandaged and tended to by a Christian Science Nurse after an initial hospital visit. The preference is a result of our spiritual care: we witness to the patient before, during, and after physically caring for them.

While many patients are senior citizens, this is not a requirement. Children, teenagers, and younger adults have received short and long term treatment in our facilities. Hence why we call them nursing facilities, not nursing homes.

It's so nice to be asked about this, so thank you! I hope I provided sufficient context. There may be similar roles in other churches, but I haven't heard of any and couldn't speak to them. I originally planned to be a lawyer, but God called me to this work instead, and I'm very happy and fulfilled to do it :)

#I have been repeatedly warned NOT to abbreviate it to CSN especially outside of work #apparently medical nurses deeply resent us using the term 'nurse' in our job title at all #so to avoid confusion with RNs we cannot use CSN #I'm also happy to explain some basic stuff about CS if it doesn't quite make sense yet #to me who grew up CS it's the baseline/default #I'm often surprised by what people assume or think they know about us and I'm often ignorant about other churches #I've been working on it and I'd love to hear about your experiences in your church too! #pers com #personal #asks #Christian Science #inbox

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you. #I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible. #I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me. #I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth. #I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely. #I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin #I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't... #I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it #or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away... #to this day... #I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again #I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that. #I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY #that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back #that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed. #“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again. #By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant. #I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did. #The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement. #Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF. #You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do. #I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha #No I do not look at your blogs. #The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one. #I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel #safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time. #I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore. #And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry... #I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too... #vent

[yousaytomato]

We don't need the increasingly abstract and tone-deaf themes to keep The Great British Bake Off interesting, it's okay to return to the classics, I'd be just as happy watching them make a caterpillar cake

#woes of emily #infact. i would absolutely love to watch them make a caterpillar cake #that's the authentic British experience right there and i think it's an oversight that they've never set it as the task #and hearing the birthday traditions of other countries is so enjoyable. like that ice cream pussy cake or whatever in the US #I'd love to have that conversation with you all #they just. misunderstand what people want out of bakeoff tbh #gbbo #the great british baking show #the great british bake off #also. 45~ minute live-blogging warning - it's bakeoff night

[oobi-oobi-rambles]

The horror that I like the most and tends to stay with me is always the stuff that isn't really that overtly scary. Things that may have a few horror elements sprinkled throughout but never truly freak you out.

The things that constantly made me jump due to jumpscares or that scared me a lot when I was younger usually tended to have that effect because they weren't as logical, well-written, or they didn't follow any defined set of rules.

#I'd love to hear other people's thoughts #maybe its just my personal bias #maybe fear depends way more on the aspect of being unknown so things that aren't well written can... #...achieve more scares but stories that are more well-written developed and thought-through won't be as scary but... #...will have a greater emotional impact on whoever experiences it #when I was younger I used to find comfort in understanding the rules of a horror movie. #If I understood I wasn't truly in danger. It made sense and had a solution #rambles #horror

[nordic-language-love]

Hei, can I ask you about writing in the language that you just started studying? I know it's super useful for fast learning to use the language from the start, but I have some uhm... concerns about it. For context I'm currently only self studying so basically I have no teacher of any kind or contact with natives. Not ideal but I like to start this way.

When your writing just for yourself, do you check your grammar right away or just later or not at all? honestly I'm mostly afraid if I start using the language in writing but no one checks it I might just end up learning the wrong grammar 😅

Hope your doing good out there! I love following your journey here 💚

Hi there!

I kinda do a mixture! I have a paper journal that I write in before bed, but I also write on my laptop. When I'm writing on my laptop I usually have a go at it first, and then look it up after (I've found it's much more effective for learning if I make a mistake and then correct it rather than just looking up everything I'm unsure of), whereas in my paper journal I just reword things I don't know how to say, or I underline grammar/vocab I'm unsure of and put a question mark next to it and look it up whenever I remember.

I don't think you need to worry too much about "developing bad habits". While it's true that you might will make mistakes, as long as you're getting lots of input, you'll eventually learn to correct those mistakes yourself. Just keep immersing yourself as much as possible! Then when you read back what you wrote, you'll be able to notice if something sounds a bit off. It's better to have bad habits that you need to correct than limiting how much you use the language for fear of developing them at all imo. And learning to express yourself in the language available to you rather than waiting until you know the exact correct grammar you need is a very valuable skill.

Have fun writing, and best of luck with your language learning journey!

#language learning #ask #some people might disagree with me on this of course #i'd love to hear other people's experiences and thoughts!

[el-im]

*tevye voice* but on the other hand, it is impossible not to acknowledge some of the particularly christian themes in the wrath of khan--

#i understand the irony of using tevye here but i cannot hear 'on the other hand' without thinking of him #also. VULCANS?! #coded as jewish? christian? japanese? lets take a vote #in which everyone voting only votes for the group they belong to because they see similarities between their cultural experiences #and outlooks and spock's. #which. let me clarify. is a GOOD THING. me seeing some vulcan practices as distinctly japanese and others seeing it as something else is #WONDERFUL and exactly what star trek is about. would just. love to see the diversity of responses i'd get if i asked what people saw in #vulcans. i know some of the specific jewish elements nimoy brought to the table in his characterization of him re: the rationalists and #kabbalists/the greeting being a blessing #but im not interested in canon #im interested in what people see of themselves reflected in the vulcans #as individuals #captain's log #trek #i forgot what i was talking about #im writing abt the genesis planet for a big secret ent project and referred to it in my head as the 'jesus planet' and then went. that's #rich for someone who just said that vulcan philosophy more closely mirrors buddhism than western religions #because its uhhhh where spock was resurrected #hi everyone #whats going on with all of you

[trans-leek-cookie]

someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better

#I'll rb the post but I domt want to add it on cause it feels. Not my place maybe #Anyway fun fact! You can think that all you fucking want! Close your God damn mouth about it and figure out if it actually adds to the #Conversation! Marginalized ppl don't have to hear about how you're hashtag Not Like The Others!!! TAKE IN THE INFORMATION AND CONSIDER IF #THE THINGS YOU DO TRULY DEFY STEREOTYPES OR ARE STILL IMPLICITLY INSPIRED BY THESE BIASES!!! AND DO IT QUIETLY OR WITH SOMEONE WHOS WILLING #TO LISTEN! NOT ON THE POST INFORMING YOU OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE #Also I'd move this tag up but genuinely idk if I can do that atm. But I'm LITERALLY guilty of the same shit. I immediately jump to no true #Scotsman the subject because I want to defend it!!! Yes I recognize the pattern is wrong and yes I genuinely believe it isn't necessarily #Inherent! But I still have to confront the fact that it's so prominent and to many people inseparable from the subject #(That being disability and body horror). I will say: my immediate instinct was to disregard any body horror that is just like Real Shit Tha #Happens To People as body horror but that's not helpful! I can't just say well it's not body horror BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL CALL AND SEE IT AS #BODY HORROR!!! I HAVE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE LARGER IMPLICATIONS. My PERSONAL OPINIONS do not matter and the pedantic discussion is #Something to be had with friends or used as it's own criticism of the genre not ON THE POST CALLING OUT A REAL ISSUE! Anyway just. #Both artists and consumers have to be critical of What we see as body horror/what others tell us is body horror/what we accept as body #Horror bc/what we create as body horror etc. We NEED to confront that and we can't just say I Wouldn't Do That! We need to understand that #It goes deeper than that!!! Also YOU DONT INHERENTLY KNOW WHATS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE #There's so many things that ppl can experience and Live With! There are obviously things that are fatal so u rarely hear abt them but human #Beings can survive a lot of things!!! And here's the thing: the rarer something is the shittier it feels to have it misrepresented!!! #At the very basic level: CHECK IF THE THING YOU WANT TO USE AS BODY HORROR IS A RECORDED PHENOMENON AT LEAST!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK #DO THE BARE MINIMUM

[bredforloyalty]

it's the most annoying thing to me.. i work so hard to ignore it otherwise because it's stupid and i don't want to unfollow anyone who posts stuff i really like and want on my dash because of one show (that they usually don't even post about)!!! but then when they do post it feels like i didn't curate my dash well because that's content i can't help but despise i just cannot outsmart my hate no matter how much i want to and then they post all that and it's like YOU'RE TEARING ME APAHRT LEESA

#because now i'm conflicted. i like all the other opinions i think the person is funny i think they're reasonable and i'd like to hear more #from them maybe they even make content that i'd miss if i unfollowed like unique fanart #but then it feels like i'm observing some kind of mass delusion. #i feel personally disrespected i feel like we've got this thing that's important to me that everyone loves for the wrong reason hyshvy #usually fandom is the place where you find people who are on the same page and who aren't y'know just like every random person that watches #the show and does not go online to talk about it or go a little crazy about it #and now. i feel like a MINORITY in FANDOM JXSJVYDHY it's bizarre it's truly bizarre #(i hate it) (i wish i could somehow filter 100% of spn takes i don't want to see) #(they aren't even takes they're regular posts with op's underlying views of the show bothering me lmaooo i don't even know how it's #possible to disagree so fundamentally about a piece of media. this never happened before. unparalleled media experience fr) #kata.txt

[brighteststar707]

Ohhh, are we sharing things now? I actually have plenty of great (mostly) childhood memories I tend to think about often.

In my grandma's neighborhood, there's a big line of only road and I remember how me, my sister and everyone else who had bikes there would often get out at the evening to just do circles, the wind always felt amazing and since it was summer, doing it at evening to around night was always great.

But this one night, EVERYONE had taken their bikes out. I still remember how happy I felt when I did circles with them. If I remember correctly, i wasn't able to use the bike without those protection lil wheels but that night, our neighbor next door helped me and encouraged me to keep going even though I fell down a lot. In the end? I leaned to do it without any help from those lil wheels!

I really wish I could experience that again but I know it will never happen. Some of our neighbors grandkids doesn't really visit anymore now that they are grown. And It's actually been years since I've been to my grandma's but this time, I made the decision to go there this upcoming summer! (if I pass my final exams doe sksksajdbw)

I used to go there every summer so I'm hella excited and looking forward to it. I'm also planning on working on my digital art skills and take advantage of these three months to get better with this artist friend of mine I have at school.

But even though those other kids don't visit there anymore. I'm happy that at least I have these memories of us playing plenty of games and just using our bikes.

I have so many nice memories but I'll stop here sksksk

Anna, I'm happy to see you again, it feels like it's been ages! I hope you're doing well!

That memory sounds absolutely magical, so many of you all together on your bicycles having fun. Thank you for sharing it with me! Your neighbour encouraging you to learn to ride without training wheels is so lovely, what a fun way to learn! It took me forever to learn to ride a bike without training wheels, and i still remember the feeling of riding without them for the first time. It's wonderful.

There is something so nostalgic and bittersweet about childhood memories like this, isn't there? These warm happy memories that we love dearly but cannot return to because things change.

I went though a similar feeling of nostalgia recently. I visited home for the first time in years, and was hit with a lot of emotions at once. It's always comforting to be back in places I spent a lot of time in as a small child, but at the same time it's impossible to ignore how much changes when you're not there to see it. I'm not someone who likes to stay in one place for a long time, so returning back to old memories is particularly strange for me.

Sharing in hobbies and learning skills from one another sounds really wonderful! It's one of the things I've enjoyed most about posting my writing here and making writer friends! It's also nice to be able to fully dedicate your time to developing your skills instead of having to share the time between other responsibilities.

I wish you the best of luck on your exams, hang in there! Exam season is tough, but I'm rooting for you! I hope you get to go back to your grandmother's this summer and relive at least some of those happy childhood memories.

#ask game #stormflypirateskin #by all means if you have more memories you wish to share I'd love to hear them #I love hearing about other people's experiences #and how much our lives can differ

[artificial-horizon]

"you can never fucking tell whether they're girls or boys". i realised this myself while looking at people of my ethnicity and comparing us to white femininity and masculinity and realised that we look incredibly androgynous in relation to those standards.

I'm glad you relate too lol, it's good to know it's not just me thinking weird shit! I'm not even sure exactly what's behind it, like I don't believe in any way that we're somehow *naturally* more androgynous-looking than white people, so could it literally just be white beauty standards? Cos in a way I feel like white beauty standards emphasize the differences between gender roles (or emphasize humans' apparent sexual dimorphism I guess??), particularly in relation to the "other" gender - so it's like women = hairless vs men = hairy, women = petite and thin vs men = tall and strong etc. Then again I've only lived in majority white countries so I couldn't say that other cultures' beauty standards aren't like this as well!

And like generally I'm sure the factors that lead to a particular ethnicity seeming more androgynous in white cultures are gonna be specific to each case (thinking things like, the traditional clothing for each gender is pretty similar or something), so your reasoning, experience etc may be quite different from mine. Personally, I think I've felt androgynous compared to white people cos the beauty ideals I've grown up with do not take "non white features" into account (in quote marks cos I don't like that phrase at all), so I inherently fall short of both the men's and women's standards. Like, I'm very short but also naturally muscular with a big ass lol, something that's pretty damn common in majority POC spaces I've been in (and is the body type of many of the Black women in my family), but it fails to conform to white femininity or masculinity. Far too broad and thick to fit white women's beauty standards, but far too short and bottom-heavy to fit the men's. And if this is how our bodies naturally look, what the fuck do we do to fit in?!

I also think hair is a *huge* factor, at least in my experience. Talking more about body hair here (as I don't have anything really to add to the great insights many Black women/ppl have shared about hair as in head hair) - white women's beauty standards involve having little to no visible body hair, and at least in the UK where I spent the majority of my life, there's an unspoken assumption behind this standard that many (most?) women will be able to fulfil this with ease. I mean, for many white British women I've met their body hair naturally grows sparsely and in a very light colour, so even when totally unshaven they don't look hairy at all. Not to say that white women have no struggles around body hair and beauty ideals - that would be blatantly untrue - but it's like, what do you do when your body hair naturally grows thickly, abundantly and dark, so you consistently fail to meet this beauty standard unless you like, literally just shaved that day? And then there's the fact that this doesn't help with meeting the male beauty standards either, cos white people think brown people are hairy regardless of gender. This is why for me, as a black/mixed race trans guy*, having visible facial hair does not actually help me pass as male, where it would for many white trans guys. (Never tried to grow out a full beard though so I can't speak on that!) It's either just There when I'm read as a guy, or a target for bigots when I'm read as female, cos ew look at the gross mannish hairy brown female. (I don't think I've ever truly been gendered as a Woman for the very reasons we're talking about here, just as a Female that is failing to be a woman but will be put in the category regardless cos I'm failing even harder to be a man/male.)

*actual gender too complicated to be bothered to write out lol

That turned into a bit of a ramble tbh but again, I'm happy my post resonated with you lol! I'm interested tho, in what ways do you feel your ethnicity is more androgynous compared to white femininity and masculinity? I'd love to know if they're similar or different to my experiences lol so plz feel free to send another ask if you ever want to 🙏🏽 this is legit the first ask I've received on this blog and I'm always down to have more discussions on these kinds of issues! I don't have any majority POC trans spaces irl that are talking about these things but the community on Tumblr is super insightful.

#disclaimer: not an expert or well read on this #hence sticking more to talking about my own experiences #so I'd love to hear others' experiences and thoughts #as in from other POC not white people #in case that wasn't obvious hehe #asks #degendering #racism #tpoc #qpoc #trans poc #white beauty standards

[s-cullayy]

Every February 6th for the last 8 years I've texted [redacted] happy birthday but I haven't seen her in 4 years and ever since 2020 every attempt at communicating through more than text runs into some sort of excuse. She's more than capable of texting me "honey I love you more than you know, you're the most important person to me" but can't make a phone call? Can't drive 15 minutes to meet me for lunch? Can't tell me she married a man she doesn't even like? She texts me about possibly working at my job and against my better instincts I get her the hiring info and she never responds. A few weeks later she's in another country and saying we need to get my passport. We? Yeah sure happy birthday I guess

#as if i'd ever travel with her poptart ass husband #WHO SHE HATES!!! BTW #the last time we saw each other she wrapped me in this hug and was like #'this is the only place i ever want to be' and i haven't seen her since lmfao #i'm not in love with her anymore thank god but the imprint of that experience will never leave me #this woman is in her late 50s btw #anyway she texted me a couple of weeks ago asking if she should finish killing eve #thanked me and asked me how work is going and then I hear nothing else lmao like am i joke to you #honestly and truly #i think back to pre-covid days when we spent so much time together #and even then I knew it could never last but I never expected something like this #the only reason i haven't blocked her number is because some part of me still hopes that we can actually have a conversation #i don't want a relationship or anything resembling that especially not now but like what the fuck happened #she's so concerned with seeming 'normal' that she'll die living a life she never wanted to please people who don't care about her #and she /knows/ this that's what gets me #i was sooooooo so fucking close to getting her to go to therapy but then 2020 happened and now she never will #anyway it's her birthday lol