#I'm absolutely obsessed with this game. it's been almost a month now and I don't think it's going away anytime soon

[fizpup]

learning how to draw this little freak

bonus lol

#cult of the lamb #cotl #the lamb #narilamb #<- implied #I'm absolutely obsessed with this game. it's been almost a month now and I don't think it's going away anytime soon #I haven't had a proper hyperfixation since the summer and it feels SO GOOD to have a new one #anyway I'm gonna try to draw the bishops next. excited

[nadinebrooks]

Here is the link to my masterlist.

Cedric Diggory x Reader: Hard to Get

Warning: Language maybe?

"I would say no Angie. I would tell him absolutely not." She promptly responded to the dark haired girl. Angelina Johnson was (y/n)'s best friend in the whole entire world. The two of them spent the majority of their free time hanging out with the Weasley twins, Lee Jordan, and Cedric Diggory.

(y/n) loved spending time with the boys, she absolutely adored them, but there were things that Angelina and her could talk about that didn't need to involve the boys. Which was exactly like the conversation they were having right now. This was a topic they would never bring up around the boys.

It was a lazy Saturday for the majority of the Gryffindor house. At least for the 6th years. This was rare for (y/n) . She usually spent her Saturdays in the library catching up on her course work for the week.

"And why would you tell him no?" Angelina raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at (y/n).

"Look Angelina, just because everyone and their mom is obsessed that boy doesn't mean I am." She rolled her eyes. Cedric Diggory was Hogwarts golden boy. It was like he had the Midas touch.

He was good at school, Quidditch, and of course talking to girls. (y/n) met Cedric the first week that they were at school. The two of them bumped into each other on the stairs when they had gotten lost looking for their Charms class.

Cedric had always been cute to (y/n), but girls didn't really start noticing him until their 5th year. She couldn’t blame them. He really had grown up. Over the summer he had added almost a foot and a half to his height. On top of that, his facial features and muscles were way more defined.

It took a couple of months, but eventually he did notice all the attention he was getting from the ladies (and men) of Hogwarts. He couldn’t say that he didn't enjoy it.

Cedric wasn't a player or anything, but he did like to mingle a little bit. Not that (y/n) minded or anything. It wasn't like they were together.

"I'm pretty sure he has a thing for you." Angelina smirked.

"You know how guys are. He doesn't want me in that way. Besides, I don’t think I would ever cross that line with him."

"I completely understand how you feel." Angelina nodded glancing over in the direction of Fred Weasley.

(y/n) knew that Angelina had a little crush on Fred Weasley and she was positive that he felt the same way about her. The two of them were too scared to be the one who crossed that friendship line.

Which (y/n) thought was funny because the two of them were usually so confident. They were confident individuals until it came to dealing with the other one.

"I think you should say something to Fred." She mumbled glancing at him playing a game of wizard chess with Lee Jordan.

"Don't give me advice if you're not going to take that same advice (nickname)." Angelina jokingly rolled her eyes at her.

She was right. (y/n) was someone who loved giving advice to people, but she never took any of her own advice.

She wanted to tell Cedric how she felt, but she didn't think she could ever do that. Cedric had always been flirty towards (y/n), but she thought that's how he talked to all the girls.

She refused to be one of the girls who developed a huge crush on him and couldn't do anything about it.

So, she shoved all those feelings down and pretended that she didn't care. She had gotten pretty good at playing hard to get.

Little did (y/n) know, Cedric Diggory meant every single word he said to her. He had it bad. It wasn't just harmless flirting to him. The boy was head over heels for the girl and he was more than aware.

Every time she said his name or the way her eyes would crinkle when she was laughing at something he said had him falling more and more for her. He lived for the sound of her laughter. If that was the only thing he heard for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t want anything else.

"You know I'm awful at taking my own advice." (y/n) giggled shaking her head.

Eventually the twins got tired of losing to Lee in chess so they all decided to head out to find Cedric and spend some time out by the lake.

Getting the whole group together did not happen often enough. Not with them all having different classes and half of the group going to Quidditch practice. It was nice to spend some time together.

Since almost everyone in the group was in Gryffindor, it was fairly easy to round them up. The hard part was trying to find Cedric.

Cedric wasn't as outgoing as people thought he was. He was an introvert at heart, but he picked up on how to act extroverted from watching the twins. You couldn’t be Hogwart's golden boy and avoid everyone.

Lee ended up finding Cedric down at the Quidditch pitch working on some plays for their match against Ravenclaw the following weekend.

"Why don't you just ask her out?" George glanced over the blushing boy. Lee and Fred were leading the pack with (y/n) and Angelina following them. Cedric and George were at the end. (y/n) had her arm linked with Angelina's and her hand placed over her mouth to muffle a giggle. Damn he loved that sound. "There's no reason to be scared, I doubt she would say no."

"She's said no before." Cedric grumbled.

"I refuse to believe that." George responded. "Nobody tells Mr. Diggory no."

"Nobody but (y/n)." He tried to make it seem nonchalant, but it did hurt that the one girl he truly had feelings for didn’t feel the same way. "Look, I'll prove it to you." George nodded and waited for Cedric to proceed. He needed to see this for himself. "Could you come over here for a second (y/n)?"

"Sure." (y/n) happily nodded and unlinked her arm from Angelina's. "What's up Ced?"

"Do you want to go on a date? Tomorrow if you're free. We could go to Hogsmead or whatever you want to do."

"This has to be a joke, right?" She looked between George and Cedric as if she was expecting them to burst into laugher. "I'll have to pass Cedric."

She gave him an answer and skipped back over to Agelina who was watching the whole interaction. Neither of them could tell what Angelina was saying, but it looked like she was scolding (y/n).

The rest of the afternoon went on pretty well. The six of them just laid out by the lake and talked about their hopes and dreams.

The twins had this dream of opening a joke shop. (y/n) loved the idea of that. She knew that they could do something like that if they really wanted to. It wasn't that much of a stretch. She even promised them that whenever the grand opening was, she would be right there.

As the sun was starting to set, George decided that he wanted to go visit the house elves to see if they could fix them a couple of snacks. He elected (y/n) to help him while the rest of the group stayed behind.

She groaned a little not wanting to leave. The weather was absolutely perfect and she loved the way the sun felt on her skin, but George wasn't taking no for an answer. There was a conversation he needed to have with her.

"You really are starting to get on my nerves (y/n)." He hissed when the two of them had gotten out of ear shot of the rest of the group.

"Me? What did I do?" She scoffed back.

"I'm just now finding out that Cedric has asked you out multiple times and you've said no."

"I don’t like Cedric that way." She mumbled looking away from him. He'd be able to tell if she was lying.

"That's bullshit and you know it. What are you scared of? It's one date. If you don’t enjoy the date then you don't have to go on another one, but the both of us know that you would. You would love every single moment of it." He knew what he was saying was true. (y/n) did as well. She enjoyed every second that she spent with Cedric. It didn't even have to be in a romantic setting. All she wanted was to be around him.

"I just don’t want Cedric do take me out for the wrong reasons, you know?"

"He would never do that to you (y/n). I can't believe you've kept up with the hard to get act for so long. If Cedric was just going to use you, then I'm sure he would have moved on by now."

"I think he's just being nice."

"He is not simply being nice. I want to ask you something and you better not lie to me." His voice was firm and (y/n) knew better than to lie to him. When his voice got like this, he wasn't playing at all. This side of him was rarely seen.

"I never lie to you George, but go ahead."

"Do you like Cedric?"

"Of course I like him. I mean we all do. He's a great guy and-" (y/n) started rambling but George held up a hand to silence her.

"You know that's not what I meant (nickname)."

"Yes. I like him, okay. But you can't tell him."

"And why not?"

"Because it would mean nothing to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"All these other girls like him George."

"Don't you get that they don’t matter (y/n)." George threw his hands up in annoyance as they reached the fruit painting that allowed them to enter the kitchen. "They don’t matter to Cedric because they're not you. You're the only one that he wants."

"How do you know?" (y/n) looked up at the taller boy. She hated the idea of being added to the list of girls who just wanted a chance with Cedric. Her heart couldn't take it. That's why she pushed him away. It was better to have feelings from afar. That's how you kept yourself from getting hurt.

"The boy doesn't stop talking about you when you're not around. I've had enough. He goes on and on about your laugh, your hair, the way you smell."

"The way I smell?" (y/n) eyes shot up in surprise.

"The way you smell." George simply nodded. "His amortenia smells like your perfume."

"I don’t want to ruin our friendship. And what about the group?"

"Honestly (y/n)," George said as he tickled the pear to open the door to the kitchen. "I don’t think you can say what the two of you have is a friendship. It's not a friendship when both parties have feelings toward one another. As for the rest of us, we just want the two of you to be happy. And if that's going to be with each other, then we're going to be happy."

"So what happens now?" (y/n) asked grabbing all the things that the elves had left for them. There were so many thoughts running through her head. She had spent all this time thinking that her feelings weren't reciprocated.

She felt giddy with anticipation at the thought of getting to see Cedric with this new information. The felt the smile tugging on her lips. It was a smile that would probably never leave her face.

They started making their way back toward everyone else. They had been gone long enough and we probably starting to wonder where they were.

"I can't answer that question for you (y/n). What do you want to happen?"

"I don’t know." She honestly admitted. She never saw herself getting to this point. She never thought there was the chance that she'd get to go on a date with him or kiss him or call him her boyfriend.

"Well you better figure it out before the night is over. I refuse to let you go back to the castle without a date this weekend. You, Cedric, and I will camp out there all night if it comes down to it."

(y/n) knew that George wasn't lying. He would force the three of them to stay out there all night until one of them was brave enough to admit that they had feelings. Maybe he needed to threated Fred and Angelina with that.

As they ate their snacks, prepared by the elves (y/n) thought about the conversation she wanted to have with Cedric once their evening was over. She tried to plan it out, but her thoughts were all over the place. This wasn't a conversation you could prepare for.

While walking back to the castle, (y/n) decided now it was time. It was now or never.

"Cedric." (y/n) whispered before she could stop herself. She reached out and grabbed his hand to keep him from walking away from her. She took another step closer toward him. There was barely any space between the two of them. She could see the faint blush on his cheeks. Was she the one who did this to him? Had she always caused him to blush and failed to see it?

“Is everything okay (y/n)?"

"Yes." She immediately nodded. "I just wanted to apologize."

"Apologize for what?" He tilted his head to the side waiting on her to elaborate.

"Apologize for acting like I didn't care or I wasn't interested." She took a deep breath and grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to meet her.

She thought that she heard Angelina cheering in the background, but she tuned her voice out. All she could think about were her lips on Cedric's. She dreamed about this moment. His hands wandered down toward her hips and her's made her way up toward his chest.

"So you acting like you didn't want me was a lie?" He chuckled when they pulled apart.

"Yes." She admitted. "I was scared of ruining our friendship. I was scared of being just another girl with a hopeless crush on you."

"Damn. I must be a bad flirt if you didn't pick up on the face that I had feelings for you."

"I just thought it was too good to be true. I mean why would Cedric Diggory be interested in me when he had all these other girls to choose from."

"I don’t want all the other girls (y/n). They'll never compare to you."

"I'm sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"

"If you go on a date with me." He cheekily grinned.

"I would love to Ced." (y/n) giggled standing on her toes to kiss him again. Maybe playing hard to get wasn't such a bad idea after all.

#harry potter masterlist #cedric diggory x reader #harry potter preferences #cedric diggory #cedric deserved better #cedric diggory x female reader

[mostremote]

reflecting on 2023, thoughts for 2024, long personal post

How would I sum up 2023? Well, it's certainly been productive. Securing a permanent position at a university I adore is unreal, and I still subconsciously assume there's been a mistake and they'll fire me any day now. After what was essentially 7 years of precarity, having professional stability is absolutely wild. I love my job, I love my students, I love my colleagues, and it's insane to me that I seem to have actually "made it" professionally.

My second book is coming out with a Big Publisher and that's very nice too. I don't have much emotional attachment to that project, but it took a lot of work and I'm satisfied that it is reaching its appropriate conclusion. I will make, I am sure, zero money out of it, but that's academic publishing for you lol

I gave my first keynote paper at a (cute, small) conference, so that was also a milestone. I also organised a very successful conference in which like 1/4 of the speakers cited my work, which was absolutely surreal and made me want to disappear into the ground.

I made a huge amount of progress on my novel, it's pretty much finished, and my one real resolution for 2024 is to make a proper effort to get it published. I'll wait until my academic book is out to start that process, but that's the one resolution I'm setting for myself. I don't know if I'll have any luck (it's not exactly a book with mass appeal) but I want to at least give it a shot.

Healthwise, well. It's been a ride. A good ride, but a ride nonetheless. I switched medications for my chronic illness, coming off a really major one and getting onto a much milder one, as I've been basically asymptomatic. This is good news all round: I've adapted well to the new meds, and I don't have to deal with all the nasty side effects of the old meds (they fuck you up long term). The main problem I have now is that I can't drink much alcohol, but that's a small price to pay for good health.

But one side effect of the medication was weight gain. I gained around a stone after I'd been on it for a year but I figured that was just "not being in your early 20s anymore" weight gain. Turns out nope! I haven't weighed myself lately but I have visibly lost a lot of weight and it's a little disconcerting to be suddenly, well, very skinny again. I look much younger and smaller. It's not bad, it's just a stark difference to adjust to and not something I was expecting to happen in my 30s.

I've also adjusted my hormone regimen. I don't have any long term plans (i never do lol) but I've been enjoying playing more with feminine presentations. I'm just, comfortable with my body and happy with who I am. How about that!

Mental healthwise, hoo boy. Let's address my being cursed by an ancient amulet and becoming crushingly obsessed with the fictional villain of The Hunger Games. I haven't spoken about this on here but The Shivering Season is significantly informed by my own experiences with different forms of abuse and mental health problems, and I have been processing a lot while writing it. Sometimes I've had anxiety attacks while writing, which never happens to me! There was a point before Christmas I was having anxiety attacks at random everyday, just hanging out watching TV, because it seems I was bringing so much stuff to the surface. And I seem to have worked through some things, because the intrusive sexual abuse thoughts/fantasies I have experienced compulsively for, idk, 15+ years have gone. Completely gone. Really, really weird! I need to go back to therapy about this but I just don't know how to explain "I became obsessed with The Hunger Games and now I have 70% less trauma" in a normal way.

And I have been extremely manic these past 2 months. That is probably obvious from how I've been posting, but jesus christ. I wake up at 5am, I fall asleep at 11pm (and as someone who historically needs 8-9 hours every night, this is significant). I write thousands of words almost every day. I am generally inclined to periods of mania, but this is extremely intense and it has lasted since the start of November. I'm scared of crashing, both because this hyperproductivity is giving me a lot of positive brain chemicals and because I don't know what kind of person I'll be if it goes. Will the intrusive thoughts come back? I don't want them to! I've been very happy without them!!

And that's the conclusion, really: I've had a very happy year. I'm mistrustful of happiness, but I am still happy. I don't know what to expect of 2024, but I am optimistic, and content, and marvelling at in what a good place I'm in now compared to how I was.

Happy new year!

[valyrfia]

hellooo deviating from the usual a little bit here, sorry, but would it be okay w you to share a little about your academic career and yk all that because im applying for a STEM degree too so any insight would be really cool!! thank youuuu <3

Hi anon! Sure thing! I'm a little flattered honestly.

I'm currently working towards my PhD in physics (hence my obsession with data haha) so I can really only give advice in that field. In terms of my journey, in school I pretty gifted academically, 99th percentile and all that bullshit and it came to applying for unis/degrees and I had an option between doing a History & English or a physics degree. In school I definitely enjoyed the humanities more, but I've never regretted my decision to go with STEM, physics especially, because it teaches you a certain way to think. In my undergraduate degree I was trained to look at a situation, evaluate the context of it, try and collect data that is unbiased as possible, and draw conclusions, and that's a set of invaluable transferable skills that can be applied to a multitude of fields.

To someone who's just starting out in STEM now my advice would be: network, network, network. My partner and I are both doing PhDs that we got not through applying but through networking. Everyone is as smart as everyone else in STEM. Everyone was an honours kid, everyone did the "smart people" extracurriculars, so STEM, especially academia, runs on who you know. Networking these days can be as simple as asking someone slightly senior than you to grab coffee, as agreeing to go bouldering (for example) with a group of people in the same field as you. Be confident in your skills and abilities, (but beware that arrogance won't get you very far in the being liked game, especially if you're anything other than a white cis man). Don't let your studies get in the way of you being an interesting person! For example, I met a colleague from another university a couple of weeks ago and she and I bantered over our F1 teams, with her defending McLaren and me ride or die-ing for Ferrari, and I've since been roped into her mailing list and am collaborating with her on a grant application, things I'm SURE would not have happened if F1 wasn't an interesting hobby of mine that I can and will take every chance to yap about.

As a final aside, don't let yourself get too discouraged. STEM is NOT for the faint of heart and definitely not the place to go if you want to keep feeling smart. The first two years of any STEM degree are designed to break people in a specific way so that they let go of their ego, yes it is part of the process and YES everyone is struggling just as much as you (that's actually want they want you to figure out!), so that then they can enter the world of research with as little ego as possible (this works to varying degrees of success). But honestly, STEM is so rewarding. To have this really in depth knowledge of how part of our world works is fascinating. Your friends who work in non-STEM fields will understand absolutely none of it, and you'll get to a point where even the effort of trying to explain it to other fields of STEM is too monumental (for example, I understand enough about basic aero in order to get to grips with F1 cars, but a friend of mine is doing aero research and he spent about ten minutes the other month trying to explain push/pull bars in F1 cars to a group of PhD students comprising of: theoretical physicist, astrophysicist, plasma physicist, a quantum physicist, and mechanical engineer before the poor guy almost gave up and had a nervous breakdown because none of us were getting it). I think part of the beauty of STEM is realising how little you know, and how much of it there is for us to still work out.

You got this! You're at the beginning of a beautiful journey and I KNOW it'll turn out brilliant <3.

#Maybe one day I'll use my real life experience and write Lestappen as PhD students AU that's been lurking at the back of my head for ages #maybe #charles is So Meticulous in his technical stuff i think he would work in something more applied #i think max would be a mathematical physicist they just all have that vibe #(highly skilled loser) #anywhoo i digress #asks #anon #personal

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

An unhealthy basis for enjoying media

Rewatching one of my favourite video essayists' take on Avatar, and how a lot of people seem to be so emotionally invested in it to a almost religious degree. I have little investment in that show beyond its representation, but it kind of got me thinking about the times I've done the same with my favourite media. Luckily with smaller fandoms and hence with a far less toxic feedback loop, but still.

The main point she brings up is that people remember the show for what it represented, as a big, mature turning point for cartoons rather than the actually good themes about friendship and diversity in it. And I think that actually extends to worse fandom obsessions generally.

Something like Steven Universe can't be a show with legitimately great episodes next to some really terrible ideas we don't talk about. It has to be the most beautiful thing ever that will bring true art and social justice to the world.

...This probably goes for like half of left-wing YouTube and adventure fantasy shows now I'm typing it out, actually. She covers those a lot.

I don't have a point to make on those media, though. Their fandoms just reminded me of the past hyperfixations I've had that turned unhealthy: how it always ended up with deifying them into the greatest thing that ever existed in my mind, how I felt the need to vitriolically defend them against any differing takes because they were my personality.

They were a reprieve from the worst times of my life. But in retrospect that's not completely a good thing - I was using them to cope, but also avoid thinking about my issues at all.

The one I feel comfortable namedropping is the most recent one on Ninjago. I kinda just brushed it off as a result of academic pressure, but as I was reading more critique on it (and since was in therapy at that time), it eventually clicked that I'd been using it as a vector to escape thinking about my relationship with being Asian.

But it doesn't only happen from flawed media. My other major example was a game that is damn near perfect in its execution, but my interactions with it - absolutely mining it for as many ideas as I could, and spending all my time on it were just the only way I could think of to escape the crushing changes happening in my life at that point. It also lead to me having really weird headcanons and intrusive thoughts about it and not acting as considerately as I should've been around my friends at the time, both IRL and in the fandom.

I think you can almost always tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy attachments though. It just requires one moment of clarity and a bit of introspection away from the media in question.

My main advice would be... well, first consider therapy if you know you've dealt with a lot of stuff in your life. But barring that, my advice is that no one piece of art can capture the entire human experience, or even your personal entire experience. Or beliefs. Or fantasies. You should not rely on them as such.

Have multiple, varied things you like going into a hyperfixation, so you can draw on them if you need. It'll probably feel less immediately rewarding, but it stops you from feeling that you're eating yourself months in and being the living incarnation of the Boss Baby Problem.

It'll also feel more fun if you're a creator, because you can get some really original ideas by pulling totally different media together.

#dots dots dots #I get the sense most of the people reading my blog are more stable than I am. #but i thought this'd be interesting to write about nonetheless #especially since I am on a streak with essays recently #dunno what to tag this as but maybe it'll have at least one person reflect on their own interests. who knows

[miyakuli]

Triangle Strategy

My obsession since a month. I finished all the routes and played so many hours, I'm finally ready to present it to you and I hope my review will pique your interest and that you'll join me in this then xD (because I LOVE IT TOO MUCH).

Triangle Strategy is a tactical rpg that also flirts with the narrative genre, in which you juggle between fights, cut scenes and choice phases that will influence the fate of Lord Serenor and the future of the continent of Norzelia. Let's say it right away, I devoured the game; I haven't enjoyed a tactical game this much since Fire Emblem 3H! The game has a lot going for it, both in terms of gameplay and narrative, but there are a few disappointing points that could have been better executed by Square Enix.

❤ The story is excellent, very well written and very engaging. The geopolitical conflict is coherent, and we don't just see everything through the eyes of the MC, there are also side moments to follow the plot from other points of view. It's easy to see that the game isn't at all Manichean; each character has their own vision of the continent's prosperity, and as a result, nobody really embodies evil or good. There's a real maturity of writing here, making TS not at all predictable or cliché. ❤ This feeling is reinforced by the choice system, since in wartime, no choice is fair to all, and concessions have to be made. This makes it almost heartbreaking to decide. The game offers us 2 forms of choice. First, dialogue choices to reinforce your character's convictions, revolving around 3 main themes: Morality, Liberty, and Utility. Then, scenario choices that will influence your game, based on a debate with your group; in fact, the convictions you've strengthened will help you win debates. It's an essential part of the story, and adds a lot of spice, if I may say so, as well as replayability (4 endings, including a "true end"). ❤ Let's talk about combat. The tactical aspect is fairly basic and easy to learn. On the other hand, it offers real diversity in terms of combinations. Each recruit has their own combat specialities (2 archers will not have the same attack and defense characteristics, and will have very different skills too). As a result, you really get caught up in studying the field, weather and enemies to come up with the best possible strategy. What's more, the game offers a fair amount of challenge in certain battles, so you'll sometimes have to start them all over again, which really pushes you to persevere and find the best possible combinations; it was extremely addictive for me. ❤ In terms of artistic direction, the 2d-hd pixel art is really beautiful, with superb lighting effects and depth of field. ❤ For the audio, the game is already fully dubbed (Japanese or English), which greatly strengthens our attachment to the characters and our immersion in the story. I played it in Japanese and recognized some big names in dubbing, so it really is a top-quality cast. Now I'd like to turn to the thing that most amazed me about this game: the music. Composed by Akira Senju, whose music for FMA Brotherhood I already greatly admire, he created here an absolutely incredible soundtrack! All the themes are memorable and effectively accompany the atmosphere of every moment in the game. I can say without hesitation that this soundtrack has immediately become one of my must-haves <3

+/- The group's main characters are very likeable and pretty well developed over the course of the game. It's a pity that this is not the case for the other units in our group. Their recruitment is done in a very expeditious way (the characters are accessible as soon as you've increased your convictions enough) based on a short scene like, "Hi, I've come to fight by your side". And then you unlock 2 extra stages if you raise their stats enough, and that's it…at least in Fire Emblem, the appearance of secondary units was done through combat, which allowed us to learn and test their skills, it was much more useful. +/- NG+ is really cool if you want to keep playing and unlock new characters or scenarios. On the other hand, why doesn't the option just appear in the menu, it's pretty confusing to launch (because yes, I relaunched another day and had forgotten about the little explanatory window, but come on!).

✖ Some combat animations are quite slow, and you can't really get past them even when speeding up. ✖ The exploration phases are not very interesting (only 2 phases have a real impact on the scenario, otherwise it's just to recover items). ✖ The game's OST is neither sold on Steam, nor accessible on Spotify or anything else, I want to tear my hair out in frustration. PLEASE SQUARE ENIX, LET ME OWN THIS MUSIC!!!! (;;)

As you can see, after 80 hours of play, Triangle Strategy is for me an excellent game in its genre, thanks to its narrative and strategic qualities, and I can say that I felt a great sadness to have finished it x') However, I'd recommend it to those who like to read, because yes, the dialogues are rich and abundant, and I think that might put off a lot of people expecting more combat and less blah-blah.

As far as I'm concerned, it's this balance between narrative and combat that gives this game its charm and strength, and which I'm sure will convince other lovers of the genre. I'm convinced of it.

➡ My Steam page

#triangle strategy #I knew this review was going to be SO LONG x'))) #thank you to those who took the time to read it (and congrats XD) #I MISSED THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH ALREADY #what to do now.....jk I have plenty of games to try lol #personal #Lola plays games

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Finished watching hazbin hotel and uh

Spoilers under cut plz don't come for me, I did enjoy the show.

Written at 3am not proofread or edited

While I did enjoy it, it was hard to actually feel any sort of attachment to the characters. I'll do research in a bit since I heard that Amazon Prime only gave them a limited amount of episodes to work with, but regardless, the pace was way too fast. I didn't even realize five months passed because it felt like it was only a week after Charlie's meeting with Adam.

Almost little to no showing of Angel Dust's and Sir Pentious' character development. Angel dust was more focused on, which makes since since he's the original resident of the hotel, the original sinner who agreed to the Hazbin Hotel project.

Yet it was Sir Pentious who got sent to heaven? Don't get me wrong, I think it's great he got sent there, however, in a narrative sense, it doesn't make sense. Throughout the episodes it was indeed that he wasn't a 'bad' guy, more so socially awkward who wanted a place in Hell but couldn't get one. But tell me, was a single episode, not including the last one, that Sir Pentious was the center of attention? Aside from being caught as a spy for Vox?

Aside from the episode where Charlie and Vaggie went to heaven for a meeting and they were watching ANGEL DUST? It was shown he had a crush on Cherri sure, that he was trying his best to get her attention/hook up with her but like... That didn't show me much about his character.

Just that he's a socially awkward shy mess around his crush is understandable, I was like that too. But that's it. Aside from the scene he got dragged into the 'sex room' after announcing he was going to have sex with everyone in the club/bar.

Keep in mind that this ep was supposed to be centering around Angel Dust back in Hell while heaven watched.

And yes, I know it was shown he would die for his friends but to me that barely says anything about a character at all. Just that they care about their friends which is usually the case for many people.

Imo, there was absolutely no hinting at Sir Pentious going to heaven. The series barely focused on him at all, even his eggs/minions were given more attention with Alastor.

Which, btw, are adorable and I wish they were shown more and interacted with the other characters more as well.

Enough about Sir Pentious - now let's talk about the Husk x Angel Dust ship

I like the idea, I can see it happening, and I'm so glad Vizipop didn't immediately get them together, if they are end game. I heard the Twitter said they were but I haven't looked at it yet so I'm not sure if it's true or not. But God, I wish we got more interactions between them. The chemistry is there, both platonic if they aren't meant to be a couple, and romantic if they are.

Niffty - I love you my little bug obsessed queen. But, while it was slightly amusing she was the one who killed Adam, it was also slightly... Disappointing? Like, all of this man power used against him and what killed him was Niffty? Obviously it was to take the audience by surprise, but it doesn't sit right with me. It held no substance - literally just Vizipop going "they'll never expect this!!" And that's it. Just to catch us off guard and was slightly taken as a joke before Lute went to him where the scene became serious again. Which would have been heart touching if their relationship was more drawn out. Show don't tell type of stuff. Which it was but not much.

Also, I did see a post that I'll most likely add here that said Adam most likely felt betrayed by the humans who sinned because he did so much for them as the original human, as shown by the line "ungrateful losers." Which makes sense and I kinda hope that is the case because he does seem very bitter towards the sinners who are, in some regard, still his people - they were still human, at some point. I really hope that they'll be able to show us in detail about how Adam was as a person rather than the Angel and original human known as 'Adam.' His character wasn't deep and it felt more like Vizipop needed a villain to shit on more than anything else.

The reveal about Vaggie being a former Exorcist was foreseen by many, meanwhile i thought she was the daughter of carmilla carmine because they look similar + implied military like background before the reveal + the duet they had when Carmilla was talking to Zetial and Vaggie singing about how she wants to protect Charlie or something. Ig they had the 'duet' because they were both about protecting someone. But I do like how Carmilla was like "bro it's so obvious you're a former Exorcist - the eye, the fucking angelic weapon you have there."

What I didn't like about the reveal was how Charlie just... Hated the fact she lied? I think anyone would be upset about that, I would be, but that's just it. She's just upset she lied which again, makes sense. But Vaggie killed her people, Adam even said she was one of his best girls. Meaning she probably killed hundreds if not more - and charlie wasn't upset about that part? She did question if their relationship was a lie, which makes sense, but the genocide of her people, the one that her gf took part in, wasn't mentioned after it was first revealed to her. That part was literally just... Thrown out the window. And on multiple occasions it was both shown and told that Charile, the princess of hell, loved her people. But it looked like the team/Vizipop decided to forget that part when it comes to the big reveal that Vaggie was an angel or whatever you want to call her.

I do like how In the end, the audience is reminded that Alastor is not a good guy. He's a horrible person, treating Husk like a pet and most likely only lets Niffy do as she pleases because he finds it amusing. Either that or they have a lot in common, and I do mean a lot. I wish this relationship between the three was shown more, developed more. But if I must add... Some scenes with Alastor... Truly felt like a Tumblr moment. Fan fiction. BUT I adore how at the end he's weak compared to some and that his deal is most likely the only reason he has any power at all. The mini break down he has? Beautiful. Prior to this he was shown and told to be this all powerful being until Zetal stepped into the ring, until Adam fucking bodied him which I love. He's a coward, he's awful, he's horrible but is shown to be able to feel attachment - I don't think he truly cares for the hotel staff. There might be a fondness but no real connection which is shown, thankfully instead of it just being told.

Then there's the discourse of his usage of Voodoo... I'm not properly educated in the practice so I have no right to comment on it.

Lucifer... My dorky little man... Beyond depressed just like me /j

I like him, love him even. But I was hoping he would be a bit more... Sinister. Instead he's a broken man who gave up on nearly everything but his daughter. Which I kinda like but also don't - it's a love hate relationship. But he's adorable so he gets a pass

Okay. I'm going to be the one who says it - I don't like Charlie's and Lucifer's demonic forms. They look nice, sure, but not king and princess of hell -like. It gives off Tumblr girl vibes which is fine. But I still don't like it. Literally uwu human cats. Which is adorable but adorable does not fit well with... Whatever this is. I wish it was more... Animalistic, barred fangs, skin stretching out, more like a demon you would typically imagine.

Also, while I do understand why Charlie didn't want to kill Adam it was... Bleh. Like girl, you already killer many of his Soilders why would you let their leader live? Idk maybe I'm thinking about it in the wrong way.

The three Vees/V's.. All horrible as ppl, especially Vlatoino, the other two as just as bad since they know what's going on and are either ignoring it or encouraging it. Vox is a slaty ex and Velveet(?) Is just trying to vibe but the other two won't let her.

Again, ironic considering what I write. As I always say - I don't condone any sort of abuse, sexual or otherwise, in real life.

Also did Lucifer sleep with Eve?

Why did Vizipop say him and Lilith were HAPPILY married when she's on a beach sun tanning in heaven and he's always 5 seconds away from jumping off the nearest building?

So many questions that will hopefully get answered in the 2nd season. And hopefully they'll be able to flesh out the characters and their backgrounds more, their personalities and how they either improve or decline as a person/character.

I have more to say but it's 3am and I'm pretty sure this is gonna get me death threats because hey, it's the internet. Just look at Twitter lol.

Please remember that I am not a film critic, I am just stating how I feel about it.

I watched it, enjoyed it, but still have icks about certain things with it, as anyone else would. Would I watch season 2? Yes, because I like the overall concept but I just wish they were able to do more with it.

I had someone ask if I would write for it, and honestly, I don't know. Maybe, maybe not, only time will tell.

#marie talks #hazbin hotel

[billyrussohaven]

Into my Web

Chapter 2

Billy Russo x Female Reader

Cowritten with @the-cult-of-russo

Ratings: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Warnings: Although this chapter might not include it, this fic will include; Sexual situations, swearing, human slave, biting, blood, obsessive thoughts, dub con, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting.

GIF by druiigg

A/N: This has been sitting around for a few months. Well almost a year honestly. Life happened and we never really got to wrap it up with a pretty bow finish...But we worked so hard on it, we didn't want it to never be read or enjoyed. So I will be posting this story because I have fond memories of it. I hope you guys will enjoy it, we sure did have a lot of fun writing this.

Masterlist | Buy me a coffee

Billy sauntered through the large main door to his place, a bouquet of forget-me-nots in one hand and a tray with waffles and ice cream in the other. His night had been boring, the company he'd chosen not doing much for him. It was happening far too often these days and he constantly compared the women to you. It was aggravating. The blood, he could get anywhere. He mostly liked to mix his pleasure with feeding but it didn't really matter. He just wished you'd let him touch you. It'd be so easy for him for his little pet to also service his sexual needs and he'd been dying to have you since he laid his eyes on you.

He'd been playing the long game because it was more fun, despite the frustration. He wanted you to want him, beg for him and be needy for him. It was mind games and he revelled in it. There was absolutely no fun in forcing himself on you or compelling you to sleep with him. So he wanted to break you down until you were begging for him and then he'd finally be able to have you.

He was starting to get impatient though and he was wondering if he needed to up his game and pull out some new tricks. He walked into his bedroom, his vampire hearing picking up the steady thumping of your heart from in the closet. He set the tray of waffles down on the nightstand, working on putting the flowers in a nice decorative vase for you when he let you out. 

Once it was all done, he moved to unlock the closest door, opening it as he looked down at you curled up on the floor. 

"Y/N?" He asked, keeping his voice soft and calm, soothing as he crouched down next to you. His hand stroked through your hair, knowing when you were like this it was the only time you accepted some of his touches. His usual cold and calculating eyes were warm as he gazed down on you, his caring mask firmly in place. You jumped slightly as you woke up on the hard wooden floor. You looked up at him with sleepy and vacant eyes. You hung your head down hiding a wobbly chin and groveled to his feet.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, holding on to his leg and groveling like he’d disappear into thin air. He loved it.

"Are you gonna be a good girl for me now? You know I don't like doin' this," he gave you a pained look, as if punishing you wounded him so deeply. His fingers continued to comb through your hair sweetly.

You nodded and let him help you up to the bed, your eyes darting to the flowers. A weak smile painted your lips as you sat back on the headboard.

“Thank you,” you said in a timid voice looking down at your lap being covered with a blanket and a tray of warm waffles with ice cream. He was standing beside the bed with the TV remote in hand as he set up your favorite TV show on Netflix for you. 

"I'm gonna take good care of you, sweetheart," he murmured, giving you a warm smile before he set the remote back down. He thoroughly enjoyed these moments with you and how different you'd be. He went to move away but your hand instantly shot upwards and closed tightly around his forearm, a panic stricken look on your face. You didn't want to be alone, not now, not so soon. You flinched slightly at your action as if readying yourself for a scowl. He suppressed the urge to smirk at your reaction, your fear. He could hear your pretty little heart fluttering away in your chest and he got a kick out of how needy you were being. 

"Just wanna get out of these clothes," he said with a charming smile, peeling your hand away from him. He was still in yesterday's clothes and he wanted to get into something comfortable for his day with you. 

He moved to the drawers on the other side of his room, rummaging in them until he pulled out some black sweats and clean boxers. He didn't care about nudity, stripping in front of you unabashed as he got into them and left himself shirtless. He enjoyed the skin to skin contact with you and he'd take as much as he could get. He also wanted you to get used to him better. He sauntered back over to the bed, climbing on the other side and slipping under the covers, leaning against the headboard as he glanced at you with a smile. He took the tray of waffles and plastic cutlery, cutting up the waffles before he raised the fork to your mouth with an expectant look on his face. You opened your mouth and leaned over to take the bite of food. You exhaled a long sigh and chewed thoroughly. He watched you with rapt attention, always finding you fascinating like this. 

After a few bites you relaxed more, resting back into the pillows and snuggled up next to him. Your attention was on the TV, eyes curiously watching a more intimate scene between the main characters. A slight frown appeared on your face, barely visible to human eyes. Billy caught it though, his eyes going from your face to the TV as a brow rose in curiosity. He didn't give a shit about whatever show you had on, you were far more entertaining to him. But there was something about the scene currently showing that made you frown and he was dying to know just what was going on inside that head of yours. You snapped out of it and turned to him open-mouthed to take another mouthful of ice cream. He fed you, eyes back on you as he licked his lower lip and tilted his head.

"You want me to put somethin' else on?" He asked, trying to figure out just what it was that was bothering you about it.

You looked up at him and shook your head.

“No, you don’t have to change clothes,” you answered casually. One of your hands was against his skin and you rubbed absentmindedly at it with your pinky finger. He blinked at you in confusion for a moment before he realised you had no idea what he was talking about. He would have pressed it more if he wasn't so interested in watching your strange reaction. You spaced out again, opening up for a bite but not really reaching for it either. The same little frown appeared between your brows as you watched the scene. His eyes kept darting to the screen and then your face, a sly smirk making its way onto his lips. He hadn't really given much thought into your experience with things like this but he was starting to think it was a lack of it that had that cute little confused frown on your face. The episode ended and you snapped out of it. Sitting a little straighter and finally taking the bite, giving him a smile with the tiniest of flush on your cheeks. He felt a jolt of arousal hit him as he looked at you, all pretty and seemingly innocent. You had a little bit of ice cream on the corner of your mouth and he swiped it away with his thumb, dark eyes pinning you in place as he sucked his thumb clean.

Your eyes followed his thumb and the way he sucked it. You squirmed a bit feeling uncomfortable, the little frown returning as you looked away.

“Um...Can I go wash, please?” you asked politely looking down.

"Actually, I'm gonna give you a bath today," Billy replied with a smile as he reached out, stroking a hand through your hair affectionately. It was a plan that only just popped into his head but he was running with it. His waiting game was getting pretty boring and Billy hated being bored. So he'd switch it up and see what happened. You needed to get used to him eventually or he'd have no use for you. Honestly, it would be a waste to kill such a pretty little thing.

You didn’t move away from his touch but you didn’t lean into it either. He had taken you off guard, he never had bathed you before. Just watched or left you alone. Your eyebrows shot upwards and surprise etched on your face blinking back at him. The grin he gave you was warm on the surface although there was darkness hidden behind his sweet sweet caring routine. He hopped off the bed, making his way to the joining large bathroom as he started drawing a bath for you. He usually let you bathe yourself. Since his end game was to get you to service his every need, you obviously needed to be okay with his touch. Right now you only seemed to accept it when in your broken state and that wasn't enough for him. So he'd push things along to get you to hurry up and just accept him. After your confusion over the scene in the show, he started to think it'd be easier than he'd first anticipated. 

You took your clothes off, no prudish ways about nudity or your body. You stood there slightly cold and waited for the bath to fill up. His eyes trailed your body, a hunger hitting him that wasn't just for the sweet blood pumping through your veins. He felt himself harden just at the sight of you and he had to hold himself back from just pouncing on you. He'd ruin the fun for himself. He busied himself with the bath and getting a nice large fluffy towel ready for you. He didn't care about your comfort but he had to keep up his pretence that he did with the state you were in. He'd be good to you if you were a good little pet. You decided to use the toilet in the meantime looking casual and unashamed. You felt his gaze on you and you were slightly confused at his face, unable to read him sometimes.

“Is there something wrong? Did I forget..?” you asked confused, checking your hair for a hairpin or looking down at your still freshly shaved legs.

He shook his head, clearing his throat as he turned the faucets off.

"No, it's fine," he muttered, standing up straighter and looking at you. You'd been with him months now and he knew you'd been at the place in Nevada since you were young. But he'd never put too much thought into it. Didn't think much about just how sheltered you actually were. He wasn't sure why it was only hitting him now. It was interesting though. It piqued at his curiosity. You finished up and washed your hands in the sink looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Alright, it's done," he said, laying the towel over the sink ready for when you'd be done. He gave you an expectant look, his eyes dark as they trailed over your naked body. He had no idea how you'd react to his touch but he'd soon be finding out.

You nodded and walked to the edge of the tub and poked the water with your toes. You were fine with the temperature of it and sat down in the middle of the tub, closing your eyes with a peaceful look. The hot water did wonders on your skin and muscles. You were beautiful. Billy could never deny that. He found it hard to look away sometimes. He crouched beside the bath, eyeing you carefully as he grabbed the washcloth and dipped it into the water. He was waiting to see if you'd say anything as he took his time, lathering it up with soap. You eyed him by the corner of your eyes but stayed still and silent. He took one of your arms at first, washing your skin gently, being soft and slow in his movements. You jerked slightly at the contact but didn’t move away. You had a neutral look on your face, maybe slightly tense but mostly blinking and obeying.

"This okay?" He asked in a low voice, dark and warm eyes on you. He didn't care but he was curious how you'd respond, he could see how tense you were. One of his hands was holding yours, pulling your arm out so he could rub the warm and soapy cloth up it and to your shoulder. You hummed and nodded your head looking at him washing you. He suppressed the smirk toying on the edge of his lips, pleased at your reaction. He shifted to sit on the edge of the tub so he could mimic his actions on your other arm. Making sure to take his time as he did and his eyes never leaving your face. You took a small sharp intake of air when he hovered about you. You stayed put, although you seemed slightly skittish over certains things. 

"Relax, sweetheart. Lemme take good care of you," he murmured with a sweet smile, trying to ease your discomfort as he washed your arm. He slid the cloth up your arm and your shoulder, moving it across your collarbone. His free hand gripped your chin gently, tilting your face up to him as the cloth swiped over your pretty little throat. The throat he really wanted to sink his teeth into. He almost growled, feeling himself getting worked up. He kept a firm resolve though as he washed your throat and watched you carefully.

Your jaw was tense and shook with the smallest shivers. You always tensed when his hands or face were too close to your arteries, for obvious reasons. Your reactions were only furthering his arousal. You weren't pulling away or freaking out entirely but you were still fearful. He loved it. He slid the cloth down your chest before he started rubbing it across one of your breasts. He really wanted to get his bare hands on them but he knew you wouldn't be ready for that yet so he just washed them with the cloth. Goosebumps flared all over your skin as you felt the warm cloth over your breasts and you shivered slightly, your shoulders rolling back. Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Billy and he bit his lower lip as he washed both breasts, eyes intense and on you. He slid the cloth down your stomach then, slowly trailing to between your legs. He was waiting to see if you'd stop him or not, waiting to see just what you'd do. It was quite fun toying with you like this, testing things out and waiting for you to react.

The small frown of earlier reappeared on your face and your hips moved a bit. The sensation felt weird and you almost asked him to repeat it but you closed your mouth without saying anything. When you didn't stop him, he continued to rub your pussy with the cloth. He noticed how your hips moved a little and he bit back a pleased smirk as he applied a little more pressure, purposely brushing the cloth over your clit over and over. You squirmed under his touch and the frown on your face deepened. You looked at him wondering what he was doing and mostly why it felt odd. It didn’t feel like that when you washed yourself. 

“What...That feels weird,” you said with a deep frown and closed your legs slightly away from him, the whole thing confusing you and making you feel slightly annoyed.

He had to stop himself from snarling when you closed your legs, reminding himself that scaring you right now wouldn't help. It was all starting to click into place now. You'd never felt pleasure before. You were untouched, something that pleased him greatly. And by your reaction you'd never even touched yourself either. This was something he could have a lot of fun with and his mind was going a million miles a minute.

"Weird how?" He asked innocently, not betraying his thoughts as he used his hand to push open your legs again. He was loving watching you squirm. He got a sick satisfaction out of pleasuring you when you didn't even realise that's what you were feeling.

“Like… Tingly and warm. I don’t have my period again, do I?” you asked with a slight panic in your voice. You looked down but frowned not seeing blood but feeling like you were losing blood.

"It's supposed to feel that way. It feels nice, right?" He asked as he rubbed the cloth against your clit again.

You opened your mouth a few times thinking about how you were feeling and how it felt, a frown still deeply etched on your forehead.

“It feels wet like when I had my period,” you said first, biting your lower lip unconsciously.

“But I don’t want it to stop either,” you added, looking between his face and the cloth between your legs. Your words sent a rush right to his dick and he was practically purring. His sweet innocent little pet.

"That's normal. All girls feel wet like that when they get touched like this," he murmured patiently. He was finally getting somewhere with you and he wasn't about to fuck it up.

“So, you don’t mind it? It’s not a bad thing, right?” you asked, trying to read his face, hoping he wouldn’t punish you for it. A grin made its way onto his face at your words and his other hand came up to your hair, burying it there as his fingers rubbed your scalp softly. It was a little endearing how clueless you were about it. He couldn't wait to ruin you.

"It's a good thing. And the nice tingly feelin'... it gets even better if I keep doin' it. It makes you feel really good," he explained, the cloth still lazily rubbing against you.

“My chest feels weird,” you said, the panic returning, feeling out of breath and shaky. Your hands were rubbing at it trying to soothe whatever was happening, blushing up and swallowing thickly. He moved the cloth away as he shushed you softly, feeling like you'd had enough for one day. It wouldn't be fun if he broke you too soon. Besides, he wanted to leave you wanting more.

"See, nothin' bad happened," he smiled reassuringly, setting the cloth on the side of the bath.

“Is it something only… your kind can do?” you asked sheepishly, hoping he wouldn’t mind you asking. He thought about his answer for a moment. You really were absolutely clueless. He could fill your head with whatever he wanted and he planned on it. He was getting a real kick out of you being so curious about the whole thing.

"No, anyone can do it. But only I'm allowed to touch you because you belong to me," he said firmly, possessiveness swelling in his chest. He'd rip anyone limb from limb for touching you. He didn't share.

You nodded quickly and averted your eyes. You had a millions of questions to ask him but you felt skittish to ask them, not wanting to upset him. He moved to stand, grabbing the towel as he looked down at you.

"You can ask me questions if you want. I won't bite," he smirked teasingly, mischief dancing behind his dark eyes. You winced silently at his joke, the memory of his horrible fanged face flashing behind your eyes. You swallowed and stood up so he could dry you.

“Is it only girls?” you asked first, shivering at the cold air around you. He rubbed the fluffy towel over you, drying you softly as he shook his head.

"It's different for guys. We got different bodies. But we feel it too. Girls get wet but guys get hard," he said, his hand darting out and snatching yours quickly, pressing it against the bulge in his sweats. You looked down and touched the hard length pushing back against the palm of your hand. You’ve seen him naked before but it didn’t fit with the picture you had in mind. You frowned and opened your mouth to ask him another question.

“Can I see it?” you asked with a confused look.

If his heart was beating it would have stilled at your words. The faintest of groans left his lips as he nodded, tossing the towel to the floor with a wicked smirk.

"C'mon," he murmured, not waiting for a response before he picked you up, legs around his waist. He carried you with ease to the bedroom and put you on the bed before he pulled off his pants and boxers. His large and hard cock was standing to attention as he moved to sit back against the headboard, his eyes glued to you for your reaction. He loved this curiosity, he wanted to explore it and see what he could do with it. You stared at him, slowly moving next to him. The look on your face changed from confusion to curiosity.

“It’s longer and standing by itself. Isn’t that painful?” you said reaching for it with an hesitant hand. He bit down hard on his lower lip, his body unmoving as not to spook you.

"It can be if I leave it like this too long. This happens when I'm… when I feel the same warm tingly sensation you did. The feelin' of need you have when you feel yourself wet like earlier. It's like our version of being wet," he explained patiently.

Your hand went under your bum, still feeling the wetness that didn’t seem to go away. Your fingers glistened slightly under the light.

“How do you make it stop?” you asked, looking around wondering what to do with the sticky wet fluid on your hand. Billy couldn't help himself as he snatched up your hand, popping your wet fingers into his mouth as he sucked them clean with a dirty moan. You tasted like heaven and his dick twitched at the sensation. You tried jerking your hand away from his mouth by instinct, looking at him with a shocked expression.

“Wait! No! Why?” your mind fired out of you quickly. He chuckled darkly as he let your fingers slide from his mouth with a pop.

"'Cause I like the taste," he purred, eyes darker than normal as he looked at you, wanting nothing more than to devour you.

"And to answer your other question, it stops when you cum. If I'd have kept touchin' you, it feels better and better and then it's like… fireworks inside of you. It feels really good and it makes the wetness stop after," he licked his lips, savoring the taste of you as he sat there.

You reached for more and gave it a sniff before trying it yourself. You shrugged, not tasting or seeing what the hype was about. Your eyes darted to him again and you reached for the length of him again, looking up at him for his approval. He gave you a reassuring smile and a nod, really getting a kick out of the whole thing. You were so new to this. Fresh and pliable to mold how he wanted. It was perfect.

"You can touch me, it's fine," he encouraged. He really fucking wanted you to touch him. It'd been all he'd thought about since he first laid his eyes on you. You reached for him slowly and ran your fingers on the side of it. It was silky soft like the bedsheets and warm, warmer than the rest of him. You touched the head and wrapped your small hand around it.

“How do I make it feel good for you?” you asked innocently, wondering how it’d even work for males. A soft moan left his lips and it was taking a monumental amount of self control to stay where he was. He wrapped his hand over yours, moving it up and down as he applied the amount of pressure he liked as he groaned.

"Like that," he murmured, lips parting as he enjoyed the feel of your hand around him.

You felt your entire face and neck flush up warmly and looked down at your lap, feeling the weird pull of earlier and your wetness getting worse. You looked back at him and gave it a few strokes, watching his reaction. He moaned again, shifting his hips a little as his eyes darted from your hand on him to your face.

“Why is the warm tingling back if you’re not touching me?” you asked, moving your hand up and down, feeling the skin move around the hard center of it. Your lungs tickled and you rubbed at your chest. A louder groan left his lips then, your words making his desire get worse.

"It's normal. You like touchin' me. You want me to touch you," he muttered absentmindedly, arching up to your hand a little. He couldn't help it. It was the touch of someone inexperienced yet it was the most erotic thing he'd ever experienced.

You stopped moving your hand seeing the same kind of fluid dripping out of him, just the smallest amount. You ran a finger over it, curiously bringing your hand closer to look at it. You gave him a blank look wondering if you should do the same thing he did to yours earlier. You hesitated looking at him, your lips slightly parted, the last thing you wanted was to make him angry and send you to the closet again. His lips were parted and he was sure you were going to kill him at this rate. Your casual exploration of his body, your innocence, it was overwhelming him. He had to remind himself to stay firmly where he was because shoving his cock into your tight untouched pussy wouldn't serve him in the long run. He didn't want you only once and he didn't want you by force. He needed it so you wanted him and he could have you whenever he wanted.

"It's okay," he said, his eyes boring into you, waiting to see what you'd do.

You brought your fingers to your mouth and sucked them clean like icing. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good either. He did seem pleased with you and it made you feel fuzzy inside.

“Can you show me?” you asked him, curiosity eating at you.

"Show you what, sweetheart?" He asked in a low voice, raising a brow as he suppressed a dirty smirk.

“The fireworks,” you asked blushing but you didn’t know why you were. He felt like a kid on Christmas morning and he worked hard to contain his glee.

"Since you've been such a good girl for me today," he smiled, sitting up more.

"Lay down," he commanded, his whole body thrumming in anticipation. He couldn't wait to make you cum, see you writhing in pleasure for him. He'd get you hooked and soon you'd be the perfect little pet he wanted you to be. You were nervous and breathing faster, you were curious but you had no idea what was gonna happen and it scared you a bit.

“It...You’re not gonna hurt me right? It won’t hurt, right?” you asked him with a small voice filled with fear, laying down like he asked you to. 

Something uncomfortable panged in his chest at your words and he promptly shoved it far away from him.

"Won't hurt, I promise. I'll make you feel real good," he grinned, moving to kneel between your legs as he parted your thighs. His eyes darted to your soaked pussy and he groaned at the sight. 

“I don’t-I don’t want to go in the closet if something bad happens..I-” You felt panicky and you didn’t know why, like you didn’t have a hold or a clue on what you were feeling right now. His hands rubbed the inside of your thighs soothingly as he shushed you. 

"No closet. Nothin' bads gonna happen. Just relax," he murmured as his fingers stroked the skin of your inner thigh. You nodded and wrang your hands over your belly nervously. One of his hands slowly trailed up and he ran his fingers through your soaked folds, moaning at how wet you were. He wondered how well you'd take his cock. He wouldn't do that today but he was curious. He was pretty big and you were a virgin. You also apparently got incredibly wet pretty easily though. The scent of your arousal was drowning him and his cock was aching it was so hard.

You gasped feeling his touch and how it sent jolts up inside you. Your hands moved to grip the sheets and you looked down at him sitting between your legs. He found your clit with ease and started to rub slow and teasing circles around it. His eyes were glancing from your sweet pussy to your face to see your reaction. A soft moan escaped your parted lips at the feeling, you didn’t know why but it felt really good, like a warmth purring inside your lower belly and relaxing all the muscles in your body. Your body flopped down on the bed, untensing.

“It’s different without the cloth, like more intense?” You said, trying to explain the new sensations to him.

"It feel good?" He asked with a rough and raw voice, his need killing him slowly. He started rubbing faster circles around your clit, his fingers gliding around easily with how wet you were. You nodded at him, biting your lower lip and whining slightly. Your hips were moving up into his touch without thinking about it. Like a part of you was taking over.

He hummed, watching your reactions with rapt attention as he kept lavishing your clit with attention, changing the pace every so often to see how you'd respond. You opened your mouth to ask something else but you weren’t sure of what you were actually asking for. The frown returned but you closed your mouth instead of asking.

"I'm gonna try somethin'. Just relax, alright?" He asked, raising a brow at you. He knew what you needed but the last thing he needed was you freaking out on him. He really didn't want to deal with it. You nodded and tried to move up on your elbows to see what was happening between your legs. He kept rubbing your clit with one hand as he brought the other to your entrance. He pushed one finger inside of your soaked pussy with a groan at how tight you were. He had no idea how the fuck you'd end up taking him when the time came but he'd make damn sure he'd fit. It only made him want you more.

A loud sound you’ve never ever made in your entire life came out of you and you looked at him fearful. You waited for him to get angry but it didn’t seem to make him angry at all.

“I’m sorry, I dunno,” you mumbled between panting, your heart racing inside your chest.

"Don't be sorry. I wanna hear you, it's a good thing. Means you like it," he drawled, his whole body tense and pulled taut in his arousal. He fucked you slowly with his finger as his other hand toyed with your clit. You nodded quickly, feeling the tingly warmth filling you up so quickly you felt like you were gonna drown in it. You looked at him as a series of emotions hit you back to back. 

“What do I-It’s it’s-” you couldn’t think anymore and it was overwhelming you as you almost hyperventilated.

"That's it… atta girl. Let it happen," he moaned, completely enraptured in watching you like this. His hands sped up a little, the overwhelming need to push you over the edge consuming him.

You felt like a warm wall of pleasure hit you from the inside out. You screamed loudly and buckled up under his hands. The warm sensation spread all over your body from your core, all the way to your toes sending up a wave of goosebumps on your skin. He helped you through it, his chest heaving as he watched you come apart under his touch. When he moved his hands away his whole body was shaking. The primal need for you was stronger than anything he'd ever felt. Stronger than his thirst for blood. He didn't even realise his fangs had descended as he fought with himself to not shove himself inside of you. 

"You did good," he bit out, blinking rapidly as he tried to ground himself and not get lost to his urges. You felt tingly all over and happy, pleased, even relaxed even if he was around. You looked down at him as you took your breathing under control and gasped. It wasn’t his full on creepy face but he seemed to be in some kind of pain, the veins under his eyes showing.

“Are you in pain?” she asked, remembering what he had told her earlier, that it could hurt him if it stayed up for too long.

“Did I do something wrong? Or-or not do,” you asked, getting nervous by the second and shaking slightly.

He chuckled but it sounded dark as he shook his head.

"No… you… you're perfect and I need… fuck," he growled, he was hanging on by a thread. He hadn't anticipated just how badly you'd affect him like this. His self control was usually impeccable. He hated that you had this effect on him but his cock was unbearably hard and he'd never felt desire quite like this before.

“Wha-What can I do?” you asked, your voice wavering slightly, unsure how to help so he wouldn’t snap and kill you. It was a loaded question but he wasn't too far gone to say something stupid that would make you more fearful. You were already scared and it wasn't helping. The predator in him revelling in it. 

"Touch me, like I touched you," he muttered, dark eyes intense as he pinned you in place with them. If he didn't get release soon he knew he'd snap.

You sat up and scooted closer to him. You took a steadying breath and ran your hand up his thigh, remembering how it had felt when he did it. You reached for him with a shaky hand and wrapped it around him once more. You tried to remember how tight he had squeezed your hand, not wanting to hurt him either.

“Can you show me again, please?” you asked, hoping he wouldn’t snap at your idiocy. He nodded, his hand covering yours as he did as he did earlier and moved your hand on him before he let go. A deep groan left his lips and he knew it wouldn't take him long with how worked up he was. A weird thought crossed your mind and after hesitating a bit you decided to try and see if your instincts were right. You gave him a few more strokes, remembering how tight and how fast he wanted you to touch him. You kneeled up and let go of him, making a frustrated groan leave his lips.

You reached down between your legs and ran your hand on your still very wet folds. You looked down at your glistening messy hand and touched him again, this time it seemed to work better and made him slide easily inside your fist. He moaned at the feel of it, something stirring inside of him at how instinctual it had been for you to do that. A hand reached out, gripping the back of your neck as he let the pleasure wash over him, enjoying you touching him. You made a small squeal sound feeling his strong grip on the back of your neck but you didn’t stop, something telling you he’d snap it if you did. You weren’t sure how long you had to keep doing it or when you’d know. The look on his face made you gasp but not in the usual scary way, you realised you felt some kind of primal achievement or pride at pleasing him.

"Such a good girl," he murmured, feeling almost drunk off you. He was completely lost in you and he'd be perturbed by it later, just how much you affected him. But right now he was just lost in his pleasure as it increased rapidly.

You beamed at the praise, a warm feeling filling your chest. You’ve never been praised before and it gave you courage to do your task even better. You squeezed harder and moved your fist faster watching his reaction at the change of pace. A dirty moan left his lips and he pressed his forehead to yours as he bared his teeth, feeling his release coming for him. His moans were wanton and unashamed as he came hard, fingers tightening on the back of your neck as he shot his cum over your hand and your stomach with how close you were. He felt amazing, his face returning to normal almost instantly now the beast was sated and his fingers stroked the nape of your neck softly as he came down from his high and caught his breath. Everything took you off guard, his tough grip on your neck, his closeness, the way he felt under your fist, the way it shot out of him with surprising pressure, the mess he left on you… You were staring down at your hand and belly with an open mouth, unmoving and still trying to process it all.

He felt better than he had in months. The tension of wanting you for so long now finally calming down. He nuzzled your cheek before he moved away, flashing you a grin.

"You did good," he murmured, stroking your hair. He needed to encourage this behaviour in you so it would happen again. And maybe he was feeling a little nice since he was basking in his high like a cat in the sun.

“Did I? Does it always happen? The whole…” you looked down at the mess and chuckled. You actually chuckled, you were feeling giddy. He laughed lightly, eyes sparkling as he looked down at his cum painting your skin. It soothed something deep inside of him, marking you as his that way.

"Yeah. It means you made me feel good," he replied with a grin. He felt like he'd finally achieved something with you. You'd finally let him touch you and you'd touched him. Not even little touches but sexual, even if you didn't seem to understand the gravity of it. After all these months he'd finally made progress and it was a good fucking feeling.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, remembering how it had felt for you earlier. The thought of it brought up another question for him.

“How often can we do that? Is it just hands? Can you do it for yourself? 'Cause I've never felt that before,” you said as your mind threw everything back at you again. He snorted at your rapidly fired questions, already thinking of the fun he was going to have with you.

"It only works if someone else does it. We can do it however many times we want," his voice went a little deeper just thinking about it. He also didn't feel bad about lying to you. He didn't need you pleasuring yourself. He wanted you to need him to do it.

"And it's not just hands. We can use our mouths too, it feels real good. There's a bunch of stuff we can do," he was already thinking of them all.

“How do you learn?” You asked, wondering how it all worked and how … A loud gurgling sound stopped your thoughts. You were suddenly so hungry, as if the fireworks had already used up all the energy you ate earlier. You blushed and hid your messy belly from the hungry sounds.

It was a little endearing and he smiled as he shook his head.

"I'll teach you. But we need to take care of that first. You've been a good girl for me. What about if I take you out for food?" He asked, raising a brow at you. He'd not let you leave since he'd bought you here so this was a big step. But he really needed to reinforce this behaviour so he was pulling out all the stops. Besides, he had something to ensure you wouldn't try anything stupid. You looked up at him with nothing short of awe at the suggestion. He had never taken you out for food before. The thought of actually eating in a restaurant felt like an adventure for you. You smiled brightly and nodded with enthusiasm.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #ben barnes #billy russo smut #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo fic #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfics #billy russo x y/n #billy russo/reader #billy russo x you #bin bons #dark!billy russo

[shipcestuous]

The Fall of the House of Usher

Anon #1: I first read Poe's 'The Fall of the House of Usher' 15 years ago as a teen and I have been in love with it ever since. When I saw the promo stills and read the synopsis last month for the show that just came out, I was a bit weirded out by the modernized vibe in the stills, but seeing it called an 'anthology' and that it would explore multiple stories by Poe, I thought that we might just get the actually story of the House of Usher in one or two eps, just a bit quirky and... well, modernized. So I was still excited. It took me 5 min in the tag last week to realize they had completely screwed up the story. I didn't even doubt my assessment to go 'oh look, I was right after all' now that I've read on this blog that people who watched it were hugely disappointed.

I am still baffled that they could mess this up. It's literally one short story involving a mansion, the owner, his dead sister, the first-person POV guest, and the irrefutable incest in the owner and his not-so-dead-after-all sister's family tree. I'm sure someone served the owner and the guest dinner. I don't even remember their existence for them to be an important presence in the story. Seriously how can you screw this up?

Anon #2: When it comes to House of Usher, I’ve only seen the Vincent Price one. They don’t have the incest be canon (made in 60s and all), but it did seem to be implied. Also, wow, I didn’t realize how many adaptations there were of that story!

@leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok: I was watching House of Usher thinking about the future ship (Madeleine x Roderick) that I would be obsessive about it… imagine my surprise when there’s absolutely nothing there! 💀

@winterborn-muse: Netflix's "Fall of the House of Usher" may not be canon but in my opinion it's definitely shippable. Especially in their younger years/flashback scenes. One in particular... phew.

----

Previous discussion here.

I finished watching The Fall of the House Usher so I can finally answer these asks.

It's crazy how different it is from the original story. I almost wonder if Flanagan came up with the story and then added in the Poe elements later, maybe even after it was already written. I think it's only called "The Fall of the House of Usher" because that's such an awesome title and everyone knows it. And also because Hollywood is scared no one will watch something original. There was obviously no attempt made to adapt the story itself (or the other Poe stories), except superficially.

I didn't mean that to sound too negative, because although I am disappointed this wasn't what it might have been, I thought it was fairly entertaining and well written. It just wasn't what I was hoping for, and what I made the mistake of expecting. The premise of solid, I just wish it hadn't masqueraded as something else. Also, the "House of Usher" title just doesn't have the same power or vibe when Roderick and Madeline are really the first generation, and then there's Roderick's kids and 1 grandchild and that's all.

The Vincent Price version being coy about the incest is understandable. Why Mike Flanagan didn't take the opportunity to include incest here is baffling. I can only think that he didn't want anyone to accuse him of copying Game of Thrones. But even leaving the original story aside, in which incest was implied, look at the potential here: rich, decadent family with lots of siblings? Sibling matriarch and patriarch bonded by a traumatic childhood and murder?

Roderick and Madeline are definitely not canon at all in this version (if it can be called that?), but I completely agree that they were shippable. They were very close, life partners really, and seemed to love each other more than they loved anyone else.

I love the gift of the jewels that Roderick got for Madeline because it was so thoughtful and showed how well he knew her, on top of how expensive and difficult it was to get. He basically called her a goddess.

But the flashbacks were agreeably the best stuff. Obviously when Roderick and Madeline were sharing a bed:

Not that that's the craziest thing in the world after what they had just been through.

Then you've got Madeline not liking Roderick's wife, and Roderick's wife not liking Madeline.

I think they were also called "king and queen" once and Roderick is referred to as Gatsby and Madeline as Daisy.

Plus just the whole deal, the way Carla Gugino's character makes a deal with them together, and treats them as a single unit, and says they'll die together just like they came into the world together.

So at least there was some very shippy stuff.

But man oh man, the wasted opportunities here. smh

#asks #winterborn-muse #leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok #anonymous #commentary #noiv #nr #the fall of the house of usher #tw: incest #r: brosis #madeline and roderick

[oddlyhale]

Cannot Get Over Fifestone's Bigoted Writing

I wasn't expecting anything special from RWBY: Arrowfell. I kept assuming for months that Arrowfell would just be a polished version of Grimm Eclipse, with a nothing story and a nothing gameplay.

I heard the gameplay isn't anything special. Just mash X and you'll beat the enemies. But the STORY is quite the package that needs to be unpacked, and not in a good way. I was already convinced to not buy the game, but this context makes me disgusted.

I had to rewatch the Fifestone scenes to make sure I'm not being fooled. Did RT, an abusive company that treats its workers like absolute trash even though they've tried to make us believe they are inclusive and respecting of minority groups, really make a UNION LEADER a villain/boss?

Yes, yes they did.

Fifestone's writing has been compared to how Adam was handled. I can see what they're saying: a civil rights leader is written to be an abusive person that is only in it for themselves. But I'd argue that Fifestone's writing is grossly worse because, while Adam's writing has been argued nonstop on how it was handled, Fifestone's is blatantly obvious. As if RT doesn't care anymore, and essentially gave everybody the middle finger and said, "stick this where the sun doesn't shine because we hate workers and we hate you."

You can't walk back Fifestone's writing. It's as black and white as it looks. A dark-skinned union leader is being written as a big, mobbish threat to the small and weak workers who are fighting for their rights. "There was a time where I used my semblance for good," Fifestone explains. His dialogue is as straightforward as can be. He was once a good guy and is now written as a bad guy, for the sake of the plot. He said his semblance was used to ease tension before, but now we see that his semblance is painful and wretched when used. How is this possible? How can it be painful now when he used it for good before? It doesn't matter, because an evil union leader must go down.

It seems to be a running theme for RWBY. Any leader who is doing something different from RWBY has to be taken down a notch. Not just by the teams, but by the writing. The writers always have to load them up with abusive traits, narcissism, and obsessive behaviour. It's the only way they know how to make Team RWBY look correct, to make their actions of taking down these corrupt leaders look OK. But what it can't hide is evidence of RT's bigotry.

It is absolutely abhorrent that RT had the gull to make this villain and have their animators animate Fifestone. It's almost twisted. And make no mistake, this game took a while to create, meaning they knew exactly what they were doing way before the Kdin fiasco blew up on Twitter. We understand now that they're anti-union.

And what a super funny way of making minorities the enemies of Arrowfell, isn't it? Privileged characters like Team BRIR and Harper can get away with it, but characters like Bram and a union leader need to be put under the jail. Even a dumb villain like Glass. "A new threat to Arrowfell," is just a group of minorities that need to be put in their place by our privileged heroes.

And yes, I'm actually shocked that James Ironwood was left alone in this story. As a huge fan of the General, I was always betting that the writers would at least try to make him look bad to make V8 ""justified.""

Color me shocked when they decided to turn their bigoted direction to vilifying their minority group instead, and it's not the White Fang.

James has been relegated to being the quest-giver. He's written now to have an overall neutral good presence to everything and has no strong emotions towards new development. He stays calm and cool and acts swiftly for the team. Team RWBY has been given the wheel to drive this bus finally, though I can't say it was good... that's a whole other post, but I have my gripes with how the team was written.

I don't know what exactly the writers were trying to do with this story. Surely they're not that morally detached from what they're putting on paper? Well, after everything that happened on Twitter and with Kdin, it's not so far-fetched to call them morally corrupt AS MUCH as they try to convince us that they're totally not.

Fifestone has been on my mind ever since. Everything about Arrowfell may as well be thrown out the window because it doesn't matter. His story is obvious as obvious can get, and it is disgusting.

Nah, not even stans can walk this back.

#rwde #rwby: arrowfell #fifestone

[velvetnviolentviolets]

Get To Know The Author

name : Kay

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : Honestly I have a huge preference for discord. I don't trust tumblr IM to actually alert me. Ive recently learned tumblr has been eating my asks too. If I don't reply to an ask or DM me PLEAS reach out to me. I will NEVE outright ignore something. If I don't think something is going to work for our muses I will reach out to you. 

most active muse :  Kat is my loudest and most demanding. After that would be Her brother Kass, Feyre, and then our spotty maybe I'm here maybe I'm not - Emmett.  

experience / how many years : Ohhh boy. I've been doing the rp thing off and on since 2010. There was a five year chunk in recent years where I disappeared for a bit but the lovely @sharpayevcns pulled me back in a few months ago and I am so appreciative that she did. <3 

best experience : Discovering the people here that make me feel safe enough to obsess over threads. You guys have absolutely made my return to tumblr. If I were to delete my blog with nothing but my connection with you guys to show for it - Well I would be absolutely fine with that. You guys are amazing and will absolutely be tagged in this. 

rp pet peeves : I keep running into situations where I get heavily invested in plotting something (Drawing, writing head cannons, making playlists, planning cannon events. . .I literrally brushed up on a whole ass language for a plot) Only to have those people completely leave me on read. I am not a pushy partner in the least. I would be more than happy to wait a month for a reply. But I need communication. I need feedback if something doesn't sit right for you. I need reciprocated enthusiasm. You don't have to show It the same way I do but I need some show of enthusiasm otherwise it just feels uncomfortable and I feel annoying and restrained. That's not what I'm here for. I've honestly made the decision to start unfollowing people based on a three strikes basis. No hard feelings. I just don't want to follow anyone who doesn't bring the same energy I do. 

fluff, angst, or smut :ALL OF IT! While I'm becoming more and more selective about who I write smut with I LOVE writing smut ESPECIALLY if its born of post Angst fluff. Actually almost exclusively. There is nothing that gets my muses motor going like post Angst Fluff! 

plots or memes : Augh! Don't make me pick. I love Plotting but sometimes nothing really gets the juices flowing like memes do. I cant tell you how many times a simple meme interaction help set a pivotal point in a plot. ALSO- Memes are usually what help me forego my shy nature. While my muse outwardly gives NONE of the Ducks. . .I do . I give all of the Ducks so memes help  me loosen up. I'm not responsible for the haphazard neuroSpicy creature you meet once the shyness has fallen away. You've been warned.

long or short replies : It depends on my mood and attention span. There is a Adderall shortage right now so I have only been taking my Adderall on work days so Ive had a VERY hard time focusing o replies as of late. When Im on top of my Game I am LONGWINDED AF .Please don't ever feel like you have to match me because there are times where I will write you a novel and we were only supposed to be writing a sentence or two. It just happens and Im sorry.  time to write : Ha! um . . . Well I work Graveyard  Thursday- Saturday from 8PM-9:30ish AM (PST)  On slow nights I do write here and there but for the most part I can be found here pretty sporadically. If I have something going on during my weekend that I have to be a daytime person for then ill be up during the day time. OTHERWISE- Mostly evening and spooky hours . 

are you like your muses : I could draw some parallels with each of them but I dont think I am like any of them. 

tagged by: The Alluring  @wynterlanding ~<3

@grimmusings @sharpayevcns @godccmplex <3

#wynterlanding #sharpayevcns #godcomplex #I hope this wasnt toooo much of a rant #XD #ooc

[pokimoko]

@pizzee Thank you for the tagging me to join in on the TV show tag game! I have the exact opposite problem to you in that I watch way too many shows. There's so many I've watched in the last few months alone that I've absolutely loved (Andor, Severance, Poker Face, The Sandman, The Last of Us, Vox Machina, etc etc) but for this I think I'll stick with the ones that I've connected to and cherished the most of the years. It wasn't required or even asked for but all of you are getting Backstory™ for these whether you like it or not. Anyway, in no particular order, here they are:

Moon Knight: Wow, I like the show that is now my defining personality trait? Shocker. But, no, seriously, I don't think I've latched onto a show or group of characters so quickly in my life, or so intensely before. This show has (as of posting this) made me write almost 200k worth of fic about it. I got bloody Discord because of this show because the brainrot was so intense. I am part of a fandom community for really the first time in my life because of this show. It's no exaggeration to say that this show has had a huge impact on me; the dinosaurs got off easy in comparison.

Lucifer: I started watching this show when Season 2 premiered way back in 2016 and I was there watching it up until the end. It was silly and emotional and heartwarming and campy, and the characters were amazing (do I own shirts that Ella Lopez wore in the show? Yes, yes I do.) and the music was excellent. This show loved the heck out of metaphors, and I am not immune to that. Or Tom Ellis.

The Owl House: I used to be obsessed with owls when I was younger (the 'Owls of Ga'Hoole' movie was my jam, and—I'm sorry Zack Snyder directed that??? What the f—ahem, sorry, as I was saying:), and while that particular interest faded over the years, I do remember I was drawn to this show because of the name, and then the premise, and then the characters (Hunter gets a gold star for making me go "argh this guy is annoying" to "I would die for him" within a span of two appearances), and then so, so many things. I've loved a lot of cartoons, many of which deserve a spot on this list, but this one just hits so many of the right notes for me. I will die mad that Disney robbed us of a full season 3, but I will always cherish what we got.

Adventure Time: The first show I ever binged in full, and essentially what kickstarted my career as a Tumblrite (my logo was Marceline for many a year—if you find my *gag* Wattpad account it'll still be there). I still have doodles for this show from when I was 14 (many of which were Bubbline, which was also my first ship). I am the silly little Tumblr fool I am today because of this show.

Avengers: Earths Mightiest Heroes: I used to watch this show on TV as a kid, random episodes here and there, never enough to truly understand what was going on but enough to know the characters. It was how I first came to know Marvel, long before I even liked superheroes, and it was the reason I watched 'The Avengers', which in turn was the reason I went and saw 'Age of Ultron' (the first MCU movie I ever saw at the cinema) and then, well, the rest is history. But it all started here, with this show. (Also, let's be real, the theme song slaps.)

Doctor Who: specifically the Eleventh and Twelfth Doctor's seasons, though I love Ten's as well (even if 'Midnight' and the following Library episodes—episodes I now adore—scared me off from the show for almost 7 years). I might have also been a little in love with Clara. This show has made me sob with true and utter grief (musical motifs that will make you cry without warning and other secrets your Doctor won't tell you!) and also made me feel like I'm taking acid. It's got the range darling.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood: I've watched this whole thing three times. It's just…It's good. It's really good. The world, the characters, the animation/visuals, the god damn narrative. I'm still in awe of how masterful this anime was. I aspire to this level of multilayered, intelligent storytelling… and also the level of comedy. It too has the range. And god I love when shows can do that well.

Bee and Puppycat: I used to watch the YouTube series for this (along with 'Bravest Warriors' and a bunch of other Cartoon Hangover shorts) as a tween and it's just a very fond, cosy memory for me. And now there's the Netflix version and it's been wonderful to not only get more of what was already there, but more to the story in general. My childhood self is being tucked into bed and wrapped in a blanket, content in the knowledge that things left unfinished are not always over.

That really is the tip of the iceberg of all the shows I've loved over the years but we'd be here for a month of Sundays if I went on about all them, so I'll take my leave now and pass on the baton. I'm going to tag @yellowocaballero, @mockspector, @theophagism and @aster-o1d. Have fun! :3

#tag game #tv shows #my stuff #nothing makes you realise just how many tv shows you've consumed until you have to narrow it down to eight #i'm sure there are many i've forgotten that i'll probably remember tomorrow and go shit they deserved to be on the list but whatever #i like to consume stories i will not apologise #(i've literally watched three whole shows in the last two weeks alone all of which i've really enjoyed) #you guys should just be glad I didn't start listing my favourite episodes for each of these shows #the desire to be mysterious and vague versus the insatiable urge to talk about things i like with people who might also like the thing #guess which one keeps winning? #hint: you had to scroll to read this entire post #anyway none of these are particularly niche shows so i have no doubt some of you have watched these which hey! cool! i like your taste #and you probably really like found family huh? #yeah i see you

[lukael]

A thingie that @frickatives tagged me in! thanks for that, kat~

Last Song: listen these days I'm almost exclusively listening to Magdalena Bay, so probably my last song was that, yeah I think it was Money Lover one of my favs

Favorite Color: all my life I've said red but idk anymore, all my channel branding is blue cause it's easier on the eyes... I think my favorite color is the way oranges contrast against blues, yknow? that's good shit

Currently Watching: just finished watching Arrested Development, was pretty damn funny until Season 4 which was absolute dog shit so we gave that up. Now we're watching Kaguya Sama: Love is War, and I never usually watch animes but that shit is really funny lol amazing english dub. Oh and also we're watching the new season of WWDITS which we fucking love (tho I'd say the season is just ok so far)

Last Movie: uhhhhhhh damn, what was it again? I think the last one I saw in theaters was Guardians 3, and that was really good. I watched the new Ant-Man by myself a while ago, and that one was pretty meh I don't really watch a lot of movies tbh

Currently Reading: I never read any books (even though I probably should), right one the only one in my list is As We Fall, the historical fantasy romance novel that was entirely written AND published by my good and talented friend @anyawildt (I feel bad about how slow I have been reading it, I've just been caught up in a lot of other stuff) but please check it out!!!!!!!!

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Got a huge sweet tooth, I'm always snacking on sweets

Relationship Status: Quite happily taken, been with my fartner for something like 7 years now and it's goin great!

Current Obsession: well most of my focus for months now has been on my gaming channel, so that's kind of it? lately like most everyone I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3, and it's really good, and I'm also playing some Cult of the Lamb, which is also very good!

Last Thing I Googled: gf sent me 🧿 👄 🧿 on discord, and i noticed the eyes showed up as ":nazar_amulet:" and I was like wtf does that even mean, so I googled it and I guess it's like something to do with protection againt the evil eye?? i dont really know but yeah

Currently Working On: as always, commissions, I'm also working on the art for a board game, which is taking a lot of my time (and energy), and I'm also always working on new videos for my channel! kinda working on getting back to a regular job again sometime soon probably maybe idk it's all just up in the air right now

No-pressure Tagging:

well I don't really know that many people on here tbh but eeeee I guess @neoxie @roboticbiotic @dat-soldier @anyawildt if yall bored lmao

[ilaiyayaya]

I Just Really Want To Like Everything Ever

There are so many things I just desperately wish I could get interested in but like, I just can't no matter how hard I try and it fucking sucks. I have a lot of friends that I've met through a lot of weird places, both online and in-person, and like every friend group I have just has completely different interests that sound so cool, and I would love to share those interests, but even when I try, some things just like, aren't for me, and that's okay I guess, but it's still kinda lame. Why can't I share every single interest every single one of my friends have this is so sad 😔.

Gacha games are a really big one. I love Genshin Impact, I have played it since launch, but it is the singular exception, and when I first learned about it I didn't know that it was a gacha game, I was told that it was an MMO; and the reason I still play it isn't really because of the gacha elements, I just have an unhealthy obsession with min-maxing and watching number go up, and Genshin is prime for that. Most gacha games do not appeal to me at all, I don't enjoy gambling at all and the idea of spending a significant amount of real money on any game gives me extreme anxiety, and the gameplay outside of the gacha systems are usually super uninteresting, so much so that almost every gacha game has an auto-battle system so you don't have to sit through the tedious part of the game and can just get back to rolling for pretty women. Despite this, I have tried out like every gacha game that I have even the tiniest bit of interest in for at least a few minutes, and I almost always drop them all within an hour of playing, they're just so boring and a lot of them are also really needlessly confusing when you start, especially ones that have been around for a few years, like idk wtf I'm even supposed to be doing. Almost every person I know is into at least 1 gacha (and they're all into completely different ones too lol), which I technically am too, Genshin Impact is a gacha game, even if I don't really play it very much like one, but I have attempted and failed to get into almost all of them. I'm just gonna list off a few in very recent memory that I have played and then dropped almost immediately: Touhou Lostword, Honkai Impact 3rd, Arknights, Fate/Grand Order, Blue Archive I TRIED PLAYING ALL OF THESE WITHIN THE LAST LIKE 3 MONTHS THEY ALL FUCKING SUCK I was really hoping I would like Honkai too, now I'll never know firsthand the deep lore of why Luocha in Star Rail is carrying around a coffin filled with printed out low quality jpegs of the queen of England 😢. Also why do all gacha games have to have such good character designs, like I know the actual answer is so you spend more money rolling for them but like, these motherfuckers-

Maybe I should try Uma Musume next maybe that one will be good surely... Oh yea I forgot I also played Puzzle & Dragons for a few years when I was like 12, but like I don't think I ever even rolled in that I just really like puzzle games. Oh and I guess Xenoblade 2 is technically a gacha game, that counts right? Dam I guess I actually am a gacha gamer! WAIT A SEC, COUNTING XENOBLADE 2 MEANS I CAN INCLUDE URSULA IN MY LIST!!!

Look at her, she's so oomfie-core. And she's the best healer in the game. Objectively. You are not allowed to disagree with me. I WILL cry.

Fighting games are probably the absolute biggest example of something I want to get into, but just cannot. Every single person I know plays fighting games, and for a large portion of them it's the main genre they play, even the ones that aren't that into fighting games still have like 1 that they play pretty often. I know several people that have played at high level tournaments in multiple fighting games, idk shit about the Smash Melee competitive community except that there's this guy named Hungrybox, and one of my friends has had some really bad experiences with them, and like, edgeguarding is bad I guess. This sounds like bragging about like, knowing people in high places in the fighting game scene, but like, this is literally a bad thing for me lol, why can't I know high level Tetris players or like, a single person that has completed an ultimate raid in FFXIV my friend group fucking sucks I hate my friends (I'M JOKING DON'T YELL AT ME AAAAAAAA I LOVE MY FRIENDS I FORCED ONE OF THEM TO READ UMINEKO AND THEY ONLY COMPLAINED LIKE, A FEW TIMES). Recently the desire to get into fighting games has been like, especially strong because one of my closest friends who was one of the only people I knew that wasn't into the FGC, started getting really into them in the last year so I've been hearing about it even more than usual, even one of my irl coworkers is into fighting games (later edit: forgor she follows me on here, she probably doesn't read these hopefully, but if she does see this, hi lol, I promise I'm only unhinged when it's funny and also most of the rest of the time), so like I just can't escape it no matter what, god is real and he's mocking me for not liking beating people up digitally (what an asshole). I played Umineko Golden Fantasia today (now like, 4 days ago), which like, I knew beforehand was not a very good game, like obviously it was just gonna be a mediocre at best doujin fighter, but like, I was really hoping the Umineko brainrot would carry me into it becoming a gateway drug and me finally getting into fighting games as a whole! It didn't work :( I played it for like an hour and decided it sucked (big surprise who would've guessed). I was also going to try Guilty Gear XX, but like, now I'm afraid to, cause I'm not confident I'll like it (even tho Xrd is by far my favorite fighting game and the only one I've been able to put any significant time into) and if I don't like it, it's like, so over, everyone I know plays XX, it's the only game that I know more than one person that plays at a tournament level. I feel like if I play XX and don't end up enjoying it that's like, the final nail in the coffin, I'll never get into fighting games ever, I'm fucked, life is doomed, it's so joever. But on the other hand, if XX did end up being the game that truly gets me into fighting games, it's like, the best one, I'd have so many friends to play with, I literally know like, 8 people that play XX all the time at multiple different skill levels! But like, that's why the stakes are so high to a point that the idea of playing it just gives me really bad anxiety, cause like, if I don't like it, and I feel like there's like an 80% chance that I won't, I'm just fucked, I'll never be able to relate to all my FGC friends 😔.

Also like, ngl, fighting games kinda have peak character designs, like gacha games are literally sold on their character designs and yet fighting games somehow have them outclassed most of the time imo. Like, dam, how they so cool frfr???

Really it's just Guilty Gear that has the best designs for the most part but like, other fighting games do too, I'm just not digging to find them and Guilty Gear is the only series I've put more than 30 minutes into.

Ngl kinda not just the character designs, I love the art, the music, the community, the metaphysical concept, the idea, literally everything about fighting games, except the gameplay, and more specifically the progression structure of them. Most fighters have like, no in-game form of progression outside of like, an arcade mode for each character and maybe a mediocre story mode, and beyond that it's usually just up to you to get your own value out of the game by just improving yourself and matches against others, and like, that's cool, and that works for most people, but not for me I need funny little lists that I can put checkmarks on every time I do a thing. Fighting games are pretty much entirely intrinsic enjoyment with little to no extrinsic motivation, which I want to make clear, is not necessarily a bad thing at all, and is probably why people who get into fighting games get so into them for such a long time, the enjoyment comes entirely from improving yourself and getting better and that's like, really based, but also uhhhh I'm bad at that lol. I suck at intrinsic motivation, I need to have some kind of external force motivating me to do anything long term, and fighting games just don't give that external motivation, the most they'll do is like, give you a checklist of combos in the training mode and every time you complete a combo you get a little check (which tbh is probably the only reason I was ever able to get into Xrd lol), and like, that motivates me to learn characters and actually get good at the game, but then once the combo lists for every character I want to play is finished I just lose interest. Idk, like I say that I can't get into any game that requires motivating yourself, and that generally is the case, but like, I also play Tetris, and I have like, probably close to 10k hours across all versions of Tetris and that also has absolutely no outside motivation, but like, Tetris is special, idk why it's special, but like, it's just special okay? Maybe Tetris stole all of my internal gamer motivation and therefore I'll never find another game ever that I'll want to put effort in to get good at 😔.

One more final thing that I have no interest in that my friends like: Gunpla! Specifically Gunpla, like the model kits, not Gundam as a whole, I know I'm not interested in a majority of the Gundam franchise beyond G-Witch and some of the games like Gundam Dynasty Warriors, and I don't really care enough to get into the rest of it, it's just not for me and I've accepted that long ago. Gunpla tho is in like, a kinda weird spot compared to those other 2 things, those I want to like, but just can't get into even slightly despite trying over and over, Gunpla I do like, but only sometimes. I like Gunpla, I've built like, 7 or 8 model kits in the last 2 years, but I only ever really feel like building a kit like once every 2 or 3 months, and only for like maybe an hour or 2 at a time, the issue tho is that I'm really slow so an hour or 2 is not nearly enough for me to finish even a high grade lol. I bought the Figure-rise Standard kits of Miorine and Suletta like 3 months ago, and the box for Miorine is still sitting on a shelf unopened, and the kit for Miorine has been sitting on my desk for over a month, half built, and like I need to finish it, I want to finish both of them, but like, I just never feel like it. Luckily Gunpla isn't really something I want to talk about very much with others, it's kinda just, a solo hobby for me. I initially got into it through a friend that used to participate in a lot of Gunpla building competitions, but unlike with fighting games or gachas, I don't really have any interest in talking about it with others, so I don't really feel the need to get super into it, but I wish I at least liked it enough to motivate myself to finish these 2 kits cause I really want to put them together on my shelf, and I also really want Suletta out of the fucking way she is taking up 2/3rds of my desk. Also I really want to paint Gunpla, that's the main reason I got into it, but like, that requires so many supplies, and it takes a lot of time and you need a well ventilated space to do any kind of airbrushing and aaaaa thinking about how many steps there are to even start painting hurts my brain I'll just thinking about Suletta and Miorine kissing instead.

Writing this took too long and also has too many words and also I'm getting eepy disease and I wanna talk about something else instead I started writing this like a week ago. But yea maybe someday I'll finally buy SONOHIGURASHI VS. TOUHOU UNIVERSE2 and my life will be changed forever and i'll finally be a fighting game fan life will be good ok byebye byeeee!!! honk shoo honk shoo hooooooonk mimimimi...

#project x zone 2 is peak fighting game #ursula mention #this is so fucking long wtf #i mentioned hbox do i get cool gamer points? #where's waldo #this one is super duper extra rambly #too long too many words even i dont want to read this #no not all of my favorite character designs are over the top edgy characters only like most of them #haha I wrote the last 2 sections and also half of these tags at 3 am while sleep deprived haha oopsie #space oomfie #SHE IS KILLING PEOPLE #eepyposting #blankie install #I love my puter all my friends are inside it #I hate my puter all my friends are inside it

[curmoritor]

@beloven, @vengier, @lightsmartyr, & @daemonry; sent all the questions! So time to answer them all.

What made you pick up this character?

Good question! I truly don't remember when or why I picked up Owen exactly. I just know that one day I did and ever since then I've never been the same. I originally got into this series and wrote Shylock, then Snow, and then Owen! I don't remember why I picked up Owen. I just know he is my little bonbon now.

2. How did you get into this franchise/fandom? That would be because of @beloven and an old friend of mine! They were into it and my group of friends go into it briefly before falling out of it because we still had other interests at the time, but after we fell out of those interests, we fell back into mahoyaku. Sapph was into it far more then I was at first, but I slowly inched my way into it and now I'm trapped.

3. What’s the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.? God, I wouldn't even know what to pick because there are so many good things about it. I love so many things about Mahoyaku because it has amazing writing in almost every possible way. Though, I think my favorite generalized thing to think of is just how detailed the magic system inside of mahoyaku is! It's so unique and wonderful.

4. What’s the worst thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.? Honest to god, I don't know. I like to many things about it to even think of something I don't like. Maybe just how slow it updates because getting one main story chapter a month is kiiiiiiiilling me

5. What’s the best thing about the fandom? There are a lot of things! Though I would say the fact that the fandom is SUPER orginized!! Having a whole resource doc, public discord and lots of discussions on the lore and characters!

6. What’s the worst thing about the fandom? the fandoms hyperfixation on specifically ships that I really do not like. It's just a personal thing though!

7. What’s the best thing about the canon you are writing? The fact that all wizards are yandere coded. I love this so much. Funky obsessive wizards.

8. What’s the worst thing about the canon you are writing? Personally, and it's deeply petty and not that big of a deal, the fact that Owen being so weird and different from other wizard not being really examined enough!! like!! what do you mean he can't die!! why are NO OTHER WIZARDS trying to get this ability? why can he talk to animals? this is something ONLY HE CAN DO!! and no one cares?? What about the fact he gains his magic from hate and chaos rather then love and happiness!! why is this something just glossed over!!! i want to know more!!!!!!!!!!

9. Have you tweaked the character from canon? If so, what did you tweak? Only a little bit. I made him 5'8 instead of 5'10. I also made him trans because transgenderification beam goes brrr.

10. Would you say that your portrayal is canon divergent or not?  absolutely, I think all portrayals are inherently canon divergent because we aren't the original writers so we're bound to get things wrong! but if you are trying to stick to canon good for you! I am slightly canon divergent only in making Owen far nicer then he is canonically because otherwise he'd be near impossible to interact with.

11. Are there some things you dislike about how the show/series/etc. portray the character you have picked up? If so, what? Nope! I love how the game portrays him and think he is absolutely perfect and has never done anything wrong (incredibly biased)

12. What would you say is the most unique trait about your character? The fact that he simply can't die. In canon he is literally the only person who can do that, beside that, it's the fact he can speak to and understand animals. This is also a trait exclusively restricted to him.

13. Are there any other characters from the franchise you’d like to play? Hell yea, I write several other mahoyaku characters! They are all on my multimuse though.

14. Are there some characters from the franchise you can’t stand?  Not really, I pretty much like all of them at this point! I used to not like Shino or Nero much but the new main story updates really changed my opinions on both of them so I love everyone.

15. What are your thoughts on the canon ships for the character, if any? While there is no technical canon romance, there are two sets of characters I would say are 100% in love. That being Shylock and Murr and Cain and Owen. I personally don't have strong opinions on Shymurr at all, but Caiowen is my favorite ship ever. I am insane about them and I think that there is just so much about them that makes me want to scream. Wizards in love are insane and very normal. Owen loves Cain in a unusual way but he does love him. Owen sees himself as a monster that is meant to be killed by the knights that he loves so very much, so he attacks and provokes Cain all the time to try and get him to attack and kill him, yet he also wants Cain to save him and make him feel loved, as shown with how little owen acts. Owen is just simply not capable of showing such feelings because of... a lot of reasons. From him being Northern to him being deeply traumatized.

16. What is your personal ship bias for your canon character? CaiOwen.

17. Are there any ships you can’t stand, why? ShinoHeath. I just personally don't vibe much.

18. How long have you been writing the character? about a year and a half? maybe longer.

19. Should people get into the franchise your writing from, yes or no? Absolutely. Please I fucking BEG you to get into mahoyaku. It's so good, you don't know what you are missing out on.

20. If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be? Traumatized Disney princess that is also a wizard.

21. Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why? Pass because I'm bad at music.

#☾*‧⁺˖⋆ — 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 ... 》 out of character ❜ #☾*‧⁺˖⋆ — 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 ... 》 inbox answered ❜ #long post #please read this if you don't know mahoyaku i will give you kisses

[rjmhereunderprotest]

How to Fuck Up a Good Thing, Mordecai-Style!

This is bothering me cause I saw it online a lot, so I'm writing it down here to make it clear. I have NEVER in my life seen a character botch something so perfect for himself than Mordecai fucking up his relationship with CJ. NEVER! Not even Mako and Korra, they stayed friends! They were both failing each other in that. THIS was all on Mordecai... because he's a fucking idiot!

Let me break this down for you thusly, Mordecai has been mad simping Margaret for years, he's never made a move, he eventually does but she's moving away and it's over already. He eventually gets back in the game with Cloud Girl CJ, who he previous met and hit it off with well until her anger management problems made things literally too stormy to weather at the time. But now, she's getting those under control and the two connect really well.

Seriously, it was nice. CJ wasn't some idealized pedestal placed dream girl. She was real, she and Mordecai shared a lot in common. She got along well with his friends and co-workers. She put herself in many of the crazy situations with them all and was cool with it. They clicked! But the problem was always fucking Mordecai.

The dumb fucking Blue Jay just couldn't drop his fucking obsession with a girl who had left him. He kept hemming and hawing over whether or not he should still make moves with Margaret, which worsened when she moved back. She's cool with CJ, despite Mordecai worrying she wouldn't be. No, no, the problem is him, cause despite everything going so fucking well with CJ, not perfect mind you but no relationship is perfect, he keeps finding ways to jeopardize things.

But he can salvage it, he can be a good boyfriend if he tries. He makes an effort, he really does. And then... he fucks it all up in the worst possible way.

It's his friend Muscle Man's wedding day, and he's gotta make a speech about love, Muscle Man wants him to, I have no idea why. Maybe he thought it would be funny. Mordecai is having problems though cause he's still, STILL, struggling with whether or not he really loves CJ or Margaret. Despite the fact he's been with CJ for a good while and they have very clearly worked just fine. Even Rigby, usually the dumb one, his best friend, keeps telling him to get with the program and fucking just reassure CJ he loves HER. Admitting he's dating Aileen now! So if he can fucking seal the deal with a girl, what the fuck is Mordecai's problem?

I'll tell you what his problem is, he's an asshole! Constantly avoiding CJ all day, refusing to face or talk to her, running away at the first chance he gets, isolating her further and making her feel unwanted. And then, to cap it all off... he makes his speech:

What. The. FUCK.

First of all, WHY in the holy HELL would you do this as your speech in front of everyone and almost fucking ruin your friend's wedding!? This is Muscle Man's day, not yours. Do not fucking make it about your fucking self!

Why would you decide to do this now of all times? When you're giving a speech and everything? Just shut the fuck up, step off stage, don't make this a spectacle!

Worst of all though, if you pay attention to the speech and consider the context, Mordecai probably was not going to dump CJ. He was likely going to try and explain himself and fix things. The problem is he says it in such a fucking bullshit wishy washy way it reads like a Dear John letter, or worse, like some shitty acceptance that he's just settling for CJ cause he can't have Margaret! Of all the things to say, you do not declare you don't know who your soulmate is in front of girlfriend, you just don't! If you sound that uncertain about who you want to spend your life with, then you shouldn't be surprised when they're upset about it.

Mordecai in this moment forever fucked up any future he had with CJ for no good reason just because he couldn't get over a fucking crush he hasn't thought about in months! And when he tried to fix it, he did it in the absolute worst fucking way that humiliated CJ in front of everyone!

This was what made me drop the show. You do not spend a whole season building up the relationship between these two and then throw it out the fucking window like this! I hated Mordecai after this, I felt he was a complete fucking moron who I could never relate to. The idea that he can't accept happiness with someone he likes because he has this obsession he can't quit is nauseating to me. Don't blame Margaret, this is all on fucking him! The dumbass should've shut his beak.

There are ships I get invested in that get sunk. But rarely do I walk away hating a character for it after the fact. Mordecai is an example of everything not to do in any relationship at any stage. CJ deserved better, I don't know if she ever got better, but I know she does. Fuck you, Mordecai, you're a fucking idiot!

#Regular Show #Mordecai #CJ #Shipping #You Blew it #If you want more of my disaster shipping thoughts just let me know