#I'm at a stage where I need it

[averlym]

fairest of the fair

#hi! im alive and back and etc. #six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art #this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self #aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying #redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me #back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit #also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill #multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me #notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts #of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions.. #1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was #pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes #3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume #and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to #explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is #darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall #outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet #within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions? #7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah #8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck #anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)

[destinyandcoins]

lmao i know it’s 2 seasons later but it just occurred to me: what if, at the beginning of s1, instead of deciding his funeral was the best way to get everyone back in one place, reginald decided to have a wedding instead

not only do we get the entertaining side-plot of this poor person reginald has bribed/blackmailed/begged to marry him For The Con, but the only reason any of the kids show up is because they got a wedding invite and immediately went “oh now this i gotta see”

#the episode is titled ''we only see each other at WEDDINGS and FUNERALS'' #i'm just saying it could have gone the other way #the umbrella academy #half the kids are there to check in with their new stepparent and make sure they're there of their own free will #''idk what he told you but you don't have to do this. say the word and i'll get you out of here'' #''no i promise i. definitely....want to...be here :) :) '' #i can't decide if it's funnier if five knew because time travel and he's already had time to adjust to this concept #so is perfectly polite and accommodating if slightly confused because the personality he built for them in his head isn't accurate #while the rest of them are going through the 5 stages of grief over discovering their dad is capable of romance #or if through some time fuckery five came from a timeline where he saw the news that reginald is dead #and then drops into the timeline in the middle of a fucking wedding and is COMPLETELY blindsided by this #but doesn't have time to deal with this shit #somehow THIS is the timeline where they do manage to prevent the apocalypse #and at the end of everything the new stepparent divorces the fuck out of reginald ASAP because holy shit they were not paid enough for this #and yet they're like ''well i did what you asked (even if you didn't mention the LOOMING APOCALYPSE) #but holy shit i'm taking these kids in the divorce because what the fuck dude what the FUCK. idc if they're all adults #they need a better family and now i'm obligated to be that for them'' #and reginald was playing fast and loose because of the LOOMING APOCALYPSE and didn't sign a prenup #so the new stepparent gets the academy (the property AND the actual kids) and reginald has to move out and live on the streets #tua meta

[rockethorse]

So far, Calcinidae Bay has:

A public primary & secondary school

A sports field

One public library

A spa

A cinema

One hotel/restaurant (somewhat fancy)

A city hall

A water park

A mall (supermarket, tech store, chain restaurant, chain cafe, jewellery, newsagency, clothing)

A train station

A small organic store/cafe

A pawn shop with an apartment upstairs

One apartment lot with 4 individual flats

10~ residential lots

The Kitstop (important)

What do you think I should prioritise next? 🤔 I'd love to build a park/playground but I really want those to fit into the surrounding lots & suburbs, so I can't really build them until I've built said lots, LOL.

What would YOU build next?

#I wanna do an apartment building but that's really just for my own amusement #I'm trying to identify what this town actually NEEDS and feelin kinda stumped #I guess my heart says it should probably be a clinic/pharmacy but I'm wondering what else #Calcinidae Bay #no idea is too silly or too mundane I wanna hear what you would do in my position #when I get to this stage in BaCCs I also get kinda lost on where to go next lol #actually it really needs a more generic cafe bc the ones we have are kinda niche #and a restaurant #looking at this is so funny. like mayor! mayor! our citizens are dying and we don't have any sort of medical centre! #i hear you. build a water park

[abirdie]

Gael García Bernal in Rosewater (2014, dir. Jon Stewart)

(these gifs also feature Claire Foy, Haluk Bilginer and Kim Bodnia)

Gifs are all 540px wide so you can click to see larger.

[other gael filmography gifsets]

#gael garcía bernal #rosewater 2014 #ggb filmography gifs #rosewater #gael garcia bernal #to begin with let's acknowledge this is weird casting #not just gael tbh but at least half the 'iranian' cast has no iranian heritage whatsoever #you kind of just have to go with it #but bodnia in particular is mesmerising #film itself is a mixed bag #someone needed to tell jon stewart that just because you CAN do [gimmicky thing] doesn't mean that you SHOULD #in particular there's a mindblowingly cringy sequence about ten minutes in that had me yelling at the screen #but on the other hand there are some beautiful pieces of filmmaking too #there's one ungiffed scene where bodnia rests his head against gael's and it's oddly intimate and almost tender in a fucked-up kind of way #cinematographer was mahmoud al massad #and director of photography bobby bukowski #and i'm going to assume they had something to do with that #anyway this is also really funny (in a good way) in places #which i had not been expecting #and there's a kind of 1001 nights thing going on in the later stages #with him trying to buy himself more time with increasingly fanciful stories

[ghosts-cyphera]

YOU’RE SO PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭 can your bf fight /j

I asked him and he said he's willing to share as long as I promise to come back home to him 💗 !!

#THANK YOU I LOVE YOU #lo answers #(I haven't spoken much about our situation lately but please I need to scream real quick because he's been so lovely lately and things are- #-looking much better and I'm genuinely happy with him again. we've focused a lot on going on dates and doing things together- #-and it shows. obviously we still have issues but I feel like we're back on a stage in our relationship where we are able to work on- #our issues together in a fair and safe and healthy way. that feels really good. okay rant over !! mwah I love you all) #(this is not to cancel out any of my earlier posts but to say that we're working on all the little things that made us both upset <3)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me)) #cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands) #but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia... #and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!! #it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay. #chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him. #didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!! #i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!! #there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!! #even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

[lu-sn]

vegaspete theater au

vegas is an extremely competent, extremely tired stage manager on a theater production that is just on the threshold of being a complete disaster. (vegas is the single piece of duct tape holding it all together. he knows this. he also knows he won't get a single bit of acknowledgement over it and he will die mad about it, thank you).

featuring:

kinn as director (vegas hates every single artistic decision he's made, and he can't do shit about it because the play is being bankrolled by korn)

porsche as main lead (clearly the only thing saving this production, if only the director would stop wasting all of their time by flirting with him, goddammit. these actors are on equity! we can't just extend rehearsal time every time you two get lost in each other's eyes! vegas is ready to murder someone, and that someone is kinn)

tankhun as costume designer (tankhun is cheerfully ignoring the color-coded budget vegas handed him, and once again vegas can do shit-all to stop him, so the props department is eating the cost and they are so tilted about it. the costumes look great tho.)

plug everyone else in where you feel is best. some ideas:

kim is also an actor, and he's absolutely infuriating to work with (self-explanatory)

tawan is also an actor, and it's very terrible for everyone until he gets himself booted off the production, thank god

chay as assistant sound designer (also serial flirting during business hours. vegas cannot believe it is working on kim, certified world's biggest asshat)

macau on set construction, because thinking about macau with a saw makes me happy

and, of course, pete. lighting designer, moonlights as a techie when one of their techies ragequits and another falls extremely ill two weeks before opening. always responds to vegas's emails promptly, has all of his lighting cues well in order, helps the techies fix some of the older lighting equipment that they have to use in lieu of new equipment (maybe if people FOLLOWED THE BUDGET-). spends two sleepless nights holed up with vegas in the tech booth redoing half of the lighting cues when kinn decides to reblock all of act 2 during tech week (someone give vegas a gun. please, dear god. he only needs to use it once.)

vegas doesn't really notice him too much early on, but notes in the back of his mind that pete is trustworthy and competent. and then the nightmare that is tech week happens, and pete saves everybody's asses multiple times over. and during that brutal double all-nighter, sleep-deprived vegas finds a kindred soul in pete, and it's over for both of them.

after opening night, which somehow is not the worst production vegas has stage managed in his whole life, vegas and pete have thank-god-everything-worked sex backstage, and pete hands him some of the rope they use for rigging so that vegas can tie him up, and vegas is so fucking grateful for this shit production, if only because he got a pete out of it.

#macau: hey hia where do I need to- HIA WHAT THE FUCK #macau: MY EYES #macau from outside the door: i'm happy for you but please get a room jesus #this was inspired by a fic i read eons ago but i cannot find it 😭 particularly the stage manager bit #so if anyone knows what i'm talking about pls lmk 😔 #kinnporsche #vegaspete #notfic

[dirtytransmasc]

grieving with family is so complicated, cause sometimes, no matter how much I love them, I just... can't with them.

each person in my family keeps trying to force their way of grieving, their way of coping onto the people around them.

people keep telling me how I'm supposed to feel, how I'm supposed to react, and that's one thing, I can handle it.

but my aunt (my uncle who passed's wife) keeps having people tell her how she's supposed to move on, and it's driving me bonkers. they keep telling her that finding out more answers about his death is not gonna fix things, that it's gonna not gonna ease her pain, that she just... shouldn't.

and like. yeah. there's a point to be had. but as someone who lost someone very close to me (my papa) very similarly, like, please, please, *please* stop telling her how she's supposed to fucking feel. like. oh my fucking God.

I swear.

it's been a few days, let us grieve how we're gonna grieve for just a minute. wanting answers isn't unhealthy. processing real or imagined guilts and coming to terms with it and clearing it isn't unhealthy. letting people grieve for a minute how they're naturally grieving is so important.

there does come a point where certain forms of grief become unhealthy, but trying to force someone to grieve differently DAYS after the death occurred, is like... such a dick move in my mind, especially when it's just the natural progression of thought and emotion and everything.

I don't know if I make any sense, especially cause I'm trying to leave as much detail out as possible, I just need to vent all this anger and frustration out before I snap.

#I have *no one* to talk to about this stuff #my family doesn't need my negativity and frustration #thats just the stage of like grief and just Feelings™ about all this where I'm just mad and easily frustrated and overstimulated by #everything thing around me so I'm sure that thats the reason I'm so frustrated #but I NEED this off my chest before I blow up on my grieving family #so to tumblr I go in an attempt to maintain my very fragile peace and temper #grief #loss #dealing with grief #mourning #I'm in my angry/overstimulated/“ready to blow up at any given moment cause im emotionally disregulated and can't handle anything ever” phase #personal vent

[fisheito]

Imagine you have to set up yakumo's enclosure for the next couple months. How do you set it up and what do you put in there?

oh NO.! THE PROPPHECY HAS BEenm FUFILLED

i am standing in my room, leggies rooted to the floor. i am in shock .frozen and i have no idea how to proceed. there is a perpetual pathetically sobbing serpent under my blankie.

#stares at the camera and stage whispers #i can't be responsible for another living creature. i can't. or . er. i can. but I SHOULDN'T #i'll have to suppress every violent urge in my body to keep this thing alive for several months #i CANNOT fling him out the window. i WILL NOT grab his entire face and squeeze. I SHALL NOT chew on his tail. #now i'm reminded of that post where it's a pretty princess cage on the floor and comments go [that aint big enough for a dog] #and OP is all [it's not FOR a dog 😀] #yeah. that's me right now imagining a full grown yakumo in a cage by my bedside #SO FOR EASE OF MY IMAGINATION AND TO increase yaku's chance of surviving these next months #i'm going to try real hard to imagine him exclusively in pocket snake form (scrunches up my face in valiant effort) #his enclosure (crib?!?!) is flanked on all sides by eiden plushies #since yaku is an adult there is a smaller chance of him suffocating on eiden in his sleep. wait. actually #arranges the eiden walls to give some pockets of air. i don't trust him. he WILL suffocate on eiden given the opportunity #he gets one of those tiny dollhouse cooking sets for enrichment LOL #or i'll give him a bunch of those make-your-own gummy kits with elaborate setups and tiny egg gummies #crying yaku is the excuse i need to finally get a humidifier #i can survive not misting myself.. usually... but yaku will cry himself into dehydration. it's misting time #he gets an entire alcove closed off in the corner with his basic needs met. i cannot perceive #he can lurk in privacy as much as he wants. there are at least TWO hot rocks in there with garukaru's faces painted on em #there is a duplicate open-space alcove next to it for when he actually wants something from me LOL #is he a free range snake? can i take him to a bunch of restaurants and shove food into my sleeve for him? he wants to sample the delights.. #tempted to put a bell on him just so if he gets loose in the basement i'll know to fish him out #but he's pretty cautious... he won't get into any fatal situations in the house right? ...does he know how to swim?! #at least one day is reserved for testing yaku's swimming capabilities. #he is going into the bathtub while it has a film of water. gonna test his traction. i hope i won't get panic-strangled #asks

[daz4i]

yknow i noticed the small steps method doesn't help me and only stresses me out more. and like i just get stuck on the first step anyway and never move on to the next one, i'll probably even go back to the start eventually really. i'm apparently an all or nothing guy i can't think of an action as multiple actions bc it stresses me out i just need to either do it or not. the problem is i usually end up not

#i talked to my social worker abt this today #bc like he said that in order to have an easier time going outside i need to do it often enough to get used to it #but for me it's like. i go outside when i need to. yknow? #(days where my anxiety is painfully debilitating don't count lol) #i'm gonna be uncomfortable anyway. bc being outside is inherently unpleasant for me. it's not smth i can get used to #i compared this to going to the dentist. you do it bc you have to but you won't go just to get used to it yknow? #so my thought process is. i'm gonna have to start going outside every day soon for the art program. so i'm just gonna do it #i took a bus one time with my mentor/guide(??) to see that i can do it and i did. so i broke the barrier kinda #but it's not like i'm just gonna take the bus for fun?? i'll get used to it as i do it. i think. like i was before. hopefully #idk it feels pretty obvious to me but it baffled him i think 😭 #both of them offered to just go downstairs with me. sit at the lobby of my building or smth #but it feels silly to me like. if i'm getting dressed i may as well go do smth yknow?? #idk. again it makes a lot of sense to me but i don't think they get it #i think i'm generally very odd when it comes to other ppl in this recovery program 😭😭 just like i was in that social anxiety support group #(aka everyone went there for stage fright which isn't an issue for me i like being on a stage. hate one on one conversations tho - #- which was comfortable for them. so this was. well. the first step!!! in a lot of its sessions. and it just made me feel bad) #anyway that was my ramble. sorry. my brain is weird

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

.

#saw a reply to a post that was like #websites only have apps to get more ad revenue out of you #and like. what i had to say about this wasn't the point of the original post so I'm making my own #but Reddit's mobile site used to be perfectly good and engaging #now it's changed layouts and stuff and it looks like the app. which we despise and hate and find unintuitive and user-unfriendly #which means what in practice? we're not using the app we hate it. we're just not on Reddit if we're not on the computer (old Reddit beloved #but it's not losing them ad revenue because we use an ad blocker so they probably don't give a shit either way #:/ #saltposting #actually ETA I think a lot of things we hate about the Internet under late stage capitalism is. why does everything have to change layouts #all the time #for no good reason #like if it works there's no need to fix it #but nooo endless growth blah blah blah maximise user engagement blah blah blah money etc #how about retain the users you already have by remaining what they liked about you in the first place. ever think about stability? #there is a reason why we have autoupdates turned off on our phone and there's like 5 apps that are FORBIDDEN to update #Tumblr because we don't like the overhauls to the notes section (the ones where they're coloured differently based on read/unread #instead of on people you follow/don't follow) #Discord because the new layout looks like absolute shit and having DMs separate from servers would be hell for our processing #and ability to respond to both #our red filter app because it's gonna stop filtering wallpaper to comply with Android regulations and that's a no from us #are the main three but I think there might be others I'm not thinking of #anyway. yeah #I wish for predictable apps that don't suddenly throw new layouts at you every time you've finally gotten used to the last change #I don't wanna be kept on my toes real life does enough of that. I want to have a stable anything in my life is this too much to ask for

[zlobonessa]

my most self-indulgent au concept is the one where the council of the wise men rigs the election in order to have a desirable (read: controllable) candidate to end up on the throne (the candidate is probably emilia because i find the potential interesting) and felt and reinhard decide to organise the revolution and overthrow a queen (the queen is secretly in cahoots with them and kind of severely disappointed in the whole being queen thing)

#re zero #i am at that stage of my life where I'm interested in re zero electoral politics. god help me. #re: emilia as a candidate. I think it would be interesting if she managed to gain a reputation of a hero who ultimately still too soft #so council decides that she would make a great face to parade around with a promise of changes on the way #(I'm never not thinking about the piece of trivia that lugunica royal line was ultimately decorative and council did all the actual ruling) #except now emilia is matured and now realises that she is being used and being a pawn queen is not what she wants or needs for her goals

[pisshandkerchief]

allow me to indulge my gay theatre nerd side for a moment. now if i'm being perfectly honest, i normally don't like jukebox musicals. they usually feel too forced to me and i prefer a musical that actually has songs, y'know, written specifically for it and isn't just trying to fit songs into a story they weren't made for. it just feels more creative to me. if i wanted to listen to preexisting songs, i'd just listen to them at home without the extra story. i don't need a musical for that. HOWEVER. if anyone wanted to write a jukebox musical using fall out boy or mcr songs i would eat that shit UP no questions asked. in fact if i had any talent i'd write one myself 

#this post brought to you by me watching my school's production of mamma mia today #and gaining new appreciation for the art of the jukebox musical #i actually have MANY thoughts about this because mcr in particular literally only writes concept albums #so it's PERFECT for the jukebox musical format. each of their albums already has a story #they just need dialogue and character development to tie them together. #in a similar vein (hear me out on this) the youngblood chronicles is basically a jukebox musical already. #it's a cohesive story created out of songs that weren't necessarily intended to TELL a cohesive story. #the only thing it needs is some extra scenes of dialogue to flesh out the plot and develop the characters #and you've got a perfectly good jukebox musical. #pete wentz hit me up i have Ideas. we can make the stage production of the youngblood chronicles a reality. #have you ever heard of evil dead the musical? then you know where i'm going with this. i'm talking GALLONS of fake blood babeyyy #even other fall out boy songs (especially prehiatus ones) already have such strong imagery and story elements. #i think there's a lot to work with here. #and sm(f)s feels so much like a musical to me already. like a nonlinear musical focused on one person's perspective or something. #i think there is so much to be done here and so many directions it could be taken #anyway if someone wants to collab on a fall out boy or mcr jukebox musical hit me up i am READY and i have THOUGHTS

[mor-and-more]

The yearly tradition of drawing Ollies for the collab persists!! (Despite me having less and less ideas whoops)

The boy is actually 12 now, aaand I feel old XD

#digital art #olivercollab2023 #vocaloid oliver #what's important is that I finished it right?? (<- suffers from Hates Its Art The Moment It's Done disorder) #I had.. a blunder where I lost all progress save for the flat colours stage hdhdudgf #and big thanks to the mods for making it a RULE that you need to post flat colours as the check-in!! #I think the only part I'm actually happy with is how I made the hair look rendered while only using screentones :3 #but using screentones in general is down to me losing all progress and finalising the image in ibisPaint X

[halcionic]

UPDATE 1, the disinformation age; —

word count; — 37,548 words, with 5 chapters

personal thoughts; — tda, while i like the direction it's going, isn't quite what i'd intended to set out to write, so i'm curious to see if the original intention of it becomes a new wip altogether. it's in need of some heavy, heavy editing, for characterization and generally plot stuff and all that, but i'm enjoying the characters coming to life.

characters introduced so far that my partner said "wow, that's horrific, i love it"; — agent frankenstein, agent eve, nickei nines

favorite side character; — wraith, who deserves an entire arc of her own but likely will not get one, at least not in this draft.

plot realizations; — tda, while being based on the concept of a superhero society's implications, seems to be straying further from superheroes entirely? and nickei seems to be developing, unfortunately, a Complex.

favorite excerpt from chapter five thus far; —

“I don’t want to have this argument with you.”  “Yeah, can’t remember I’m your prisoner. Ruins your wet dream, doesn’t it? Newsflash, Nines —” Ren says theatrically, sitting up on the cot with a wild gleam in his eye that hasn’t been there in days. “No one coerced me into leaving my post. No one had to con me into killing you. The disgust and the filth that runs this city — the A.R.C. Initiative as a whole — can’t you see that you are the best and most disgusting example of their success?”  Perhaps visiting Ren had been a bad idea.  Nickei’s temper has never flared the same way as Ren’s, and that is no exception now, tilting his head to the sit as the words process, approaching Ren and the antsy way he moves.  Nickei leans forward, invading Ren’s personal space, and like an idiot, Ren doesn’t bother leaning back. He’s never been able to back down from a challenge. Is this a challenge?  “I am the only reason you are alive,” Nickei says lowly, reaching forward to grab Ren by the collar. How strange it is, that he is the reason Ren is alive and Ren is the reason he died. “You can air your grievances to the crematorium you would’ve gone to, do you understand me?”  Ren, defiant to the last, understands every word and will not appeal to any of it. “No,” Ren spits, though this time there is no saliva landing on Nickei’s face. “And one day, Nines, you are going to see that keeping me alive was the worst decision you could’ve made.” 

taglist; — (ask to be +/-) (this is an old taglist from when the project was first introduced, fair warning)

@themadmage @charlesjosephwrites @pimclementine @username-in-waiting @reckless-rider

#cherri.txt #wip [ the disinformation age ] #character [ nickei nines ] #character [ ren ] #wip update #writeblr #writing #i don't usually do updates but i've seen more of them lately and i think it's so cute #and also i uh. well i need to work on this project more. #i'm stuck in the drafting trenches when i'd like to be in the editing trenches #since i'm at that weird stage where the writing is Leveling Up and thus everything looks extremely terrible for no particular reason

[suncaptor]

the thing about viewing Jack as a child versus not is that if you're basing it in most ways you would view children and look at it as "infantilization" because Jack is physically developed & communicative in a way that makes you take him seriously then the issue perhaps is how you view children and how they should be treated in the first place. because the ways in which children are vulnerable Jack very much of the time ALSO IS. that is WHY what is happening to him is specifically child abuse. everything that is happening to him is a formative experience regardless of the lack of neurological development that has to happen because it is all he knows. children should be respected the same way Jack should be and children should be protected in the same ways Jack should be. the idea he can speedrun all of the things that make children vulnerable because of being able to control his physical development is kind of ridiculous. time alive allows us to have different ways of forming schemas and understanding how this world and the people in it works. Jack spends this time being abused & traumatised by war. that impact is foundational to his development of his perception even if his brain development stayed the same throughout it.

#he VERY MUCH is in his first and earliest stage of life. he just jumpstarted his development and communication. #AND THAT IS INTERESTING. but he like. absolutely is still vulnerable the way children are as a result. there are of course major difference #like in terms of he has physical strength & powers as well as the way he thinks goes beyond a lot of early markers #due to the development #but man I developed the way I think that matches much of how I do now EXTREMELY young #due to asynchronic development in part #that didn't make me less vulnerable. it just make it way more frustrating the way people treated me #the issue with my perception wasn't due to development it was due to the fact I Didn't Know As Much beyond what was immediately around me #short term. i didn't have time for that age. #that's why like a fully developed teenager isn't necessarily ready to be in a relationship with a grown adult for example. #in humans these sort of age and development we know on a particular scale #but the way we treat children in general is an issue!!! #regarding Jack & sex I feel like so many ways you would slice it there's extreme power imbalances on his end. but I don't really care to #get into all that but I'm not going to be like 'yeah bc supernatural a show where the main character has on multiple occasions flirted with #or wanted to flirt with teenage girls' is like. a good barometer for that anyways #and if calling someone a child is an insult then you need to change how you perceive children. #however!!! children SHOULDN'T be heading armies in the apocalypse. this is an opinion I do think exists for both children and Jack. #he makes me so sad oh my god #jack kline #jack #spn #supernatural #incoherents