#I'm gonna be drowning my friends and family in eggs
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𝗠𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘆, 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘆, 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝘆 ✩ 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗩𝗜
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♡︎ Ethan Landry x Chad Meeks-Martin
- also including; Scream VI; characters
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summary; Ethan and Chad confess to eachother one night and they become a couple
- all pictures from pintrest
requested; no! but I do write for both football players and any Scream characters so send in your requests!!! <3
info; all the ghostface killings didnt happen but all of them still have family issues 😻💋 as well imagine that sam and tara are twins 🤭 anyways- enjoyy x ALSO ITS NOT PROOF READ BTWW
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Groupchat; failed abortions
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Mindy added 6 other people to "failed abortions"
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Quinn; what is this
Mindy; a groupchat dipshit
Quinn; well no shit but why did you make it
Mindy; 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Anika; hello!
Mindy; loml fr how you doin'? 😻
Sam; did you just use a Joey Tribbiani refrence???
Chad; you watch Friends?
Sam; you dont?
Chad; no 😹
Tara; @Mindy this is just gonna cause chaos
Mindy; ik thats why I made it
Quinn; oi wheres ethan
Mindy; idkk ask Chad
Chad; why me
Mindy; bc ur his boyfriend??? 🤨
Chad; HA?!
Chad; Were not dating
Anika; YOU ARENT DATING???
Chad; no why
Quinn; just as I tought my baby brother isnt a virgin, he still is 😔
Mindy; you want him being a whore like u hm 🤡
Quinn; kys IMMEDIATELY
Sam; now now lets be nice
Mindy; stfu
Quinn; stfu
@Mindy and @Quinn were muted for 5 minutes by @Sam
Anika; how?? u arent even the admin
Sam; I got my ways ;)
Anika; ..okay..
Chad; Sam is scary 🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️
Tara; had to deal with her before u knew her so stfu pls 🤷♀️😹
Chad; why so mean 😭
Tara; funnsies
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"Chaaaaad!" the jock heard his name being called. "What d'ya want now Mindy?" he answered. Looking to his right he saw his twin sister come out of the kitchen where he and Ethan lived. Currently everyone from the group minus Ethan was at their apartment, haning out. They were all going to a frat party later, so they all decided to get ready and Ethan and Chads place.
"Do you have any eggs?" she asked her older brother. "Eggs? No, why?" he asked confused. Mindy just shrugged before sitting next to him on the couch. "I'm bored. Amd wheres Ethan?" she asked him. Chad shrugged as he continued to watch some TV-show that was playing. "Pretty sure his Econ class is until 7, why?"
"Well we got a party to attend!" Mindy exclamed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Coudn't he just skip?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow. Chad just rolled his eyes. "Well first of all, his profesor would have been up his ass next class if he didnt have a writen sick note. Remeber last month, when we went to that caffe, and then what happened?" Chad asked her. Mindy only nodded.
As Ethan didn't have a writen sick note, the profesor as punishment made him write a 5 page long essay about some subject no one from the group knew about. The poor boy was dead by the end of writing it, and he was ready to kill his profesor with his own hands.
"Besides, no one is going to show up before 9, that when it gets dark. And you know Ethan hates parties, its a miracle Quinn and Anika got him to come." Chad added. Mindy just sighed heavely, drowning into the couch.
"Dose this look good?" a voice asked. The twins turned their head to see Tara and Sam in matching outfits. "Yeah." Mindy replied, giving them a thumbs up. Chad only nodded. Soon after both Quinn and Anika joined the four, and now they were just waiting on Ethan to come.
"Jesus its raining cats and dogs outside." Anika pointed out. Looking out a window, the group saw the rain pouring and it looked like there was a storm incoming. "Oh hell no, I aint going to the damn party. I dont got waterproof make-up and Im not planing to look like a soaked rat." Quinn said, before taking off her shoes and getting more comfortable.
"Y'know I agree once with Chucky-" "Hey!" "lets stay. Besides, im to comfortable now." Mindy said. The group murrmured agreements, and soon after they changed out of their costumes and into more comrotable clothes. Just as 19:45 pm rolled around, the group heared someone quickly entering the apartment.
"Jesus Christ-" Jack wheezed as he slid against the door. He was drenched, his hair as well clothes were stuck to him, his white shoes looked darker then ever (probally because of the mud as well rain) and his bag was making a puddle of water on the ground due to it being soaked. "Damn Sherlock, you good?" Mindy asked him from were she was sitting. "Peachy.." he rasphed out as he coughed.
"C'mon, you need a warm bath." Chad said as he got up and went to Ethan. Offering him his hands, the younger hold onto him. The jock swiftly liftied him up, and soon the two got into the bathroom that was in their apartment. "I'll put your bag into your room, and I'll get you a spair pair of clothes alright?" Chad said as Ethan sat on the toilet lid. "Thanks.." Ethan rasphed out. His eyes were half opened, and he looked like he was about to fall asleep any minute. Chad just ruffuled his hair before making his way to Ethans room. He put his bag next to the bed before going into the boys closet to take some fresh and clean clothes. He quickly returned to the bathroom, and there he saw an almost asleep Ethan. He was bearly awake. "Hey buddy." Chad said, shaking him very softly. "Hm..?"
"You gotta be awake man, c'mon just shower and then you'll be able to sleep, okay?" Ethan just nodded before carefully getting up. "Call if you need anything." Chad added, kissing his temple before leaving the bathroom. The little kiss left Ethan a blushing mess. The younger had a crush on Chad for a good while now, but he was to scared and insecure to ask him out even tho the other girls told him that Chad liked him. Hell, even Mindy confirmed it!
Some time later, the group heared Ethan coming out the bathroom. He was in an oversized sweather and he was also wearing some black sweatpants. All them could see him shivering as he aproached them, he even made sweatherpaws which Chad found way to cute and adorable.
As Ethan sat down next to Chad, Quinn quickly threw her younger brother a blanket. He immediately wrapped himself in the blanket and Chad coudnt help but to smile at him as he looked way to cute. "You good?" Chad asked him with a small smile. "I-I'm freezing." Ethan said, trying to warm himself. The jock put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to his chest. "You'll be warm soon, I'm sure." he said. Ethan didnt reply, instead he relax more, cuddeling up to Chad and closing his eyes. The girls smirked at them, and Chad coudnt do anything exept roll his eyes. They all knew that the jock had a big crush on the brunnete but was to scared to confess.
Groupchat; Girlypop
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5 members
Sam; Samsie
Tara; Twizzler
Anika; Kpop Adict
Quinn; Harley Quinn
Mindy; geekyshit101
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geekyshit101; 😏
Kpop Adict; ???
geekyshit101; do you not see the lovebrids???are you blind
Harely Quinn; Anika your going to let ur gf talk to u like that 🤨
Samsie; *pictue of Chad and Ethan, Ethan is in a blanket cuddled up and asleep on Chads chest while Chad is a blushing mess*
4 members saved a picture
Twizzler; Sam the meance
Harley Quinn; aye aye
Samsie; shut up and watch the movie -_-
@Samsie was muted for 1 hour by @geekyshit101
geekyshit101; never use "-_-" EVER AGAIN
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As the girls stopped texting Sam sent Mindy an unamused look. The girl just shrugged and smirked at her before returning her focus on the movie.
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failed abortions
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anika; *pictue of Chad and Ethan, Ethan is in a blanket cudduled up and asleep on Chads chest while Chad is a blushing mess*
📸 credits to Sam :)
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"Anika you little shit!" Sam whisper-shouted. Chad gave the two a weird look, but choose to ignore the two. Anika just giggled to herself before continueing to watch the movie. As time went on alnost everyone fell asleep. The all mutualy agreed they would crash at Ethans and Chads place, so they all scattered around. Mindy and Anika went to sleep in Chads room while the Carpenter sisters went into Ethans room. Quinn just decided to crash on the other couch next to Chad and Ethan, not bothering to go into any of the boys bedrooms.
The only person awake was Chad. He was watching some shitty sitcom on the TV with half open eyes as he coudnt fall asleep not when the most perfect person on planet Earth was next to him, cuddled up against him, asleep on his chest.
"Hey.." a voice whispered shocking Chad out of his toughts. "O-oh hey Eth.." he whispered, looking down at the boy that was alseep on his chest moments ago. "Why are you awake Eth, go to sleep." the jock said, pulling the younger closer to him. "Its kinda hard to fall asleep while sitting.. And why are you awake?" Ethan asked. "Coudnt sleep.."
Ethan nodded, laying his head onto Chads shoulder. "Hey Chad.." he whispered. "Yeah?" "I gotta tell you something, but you have to promise you wont hate me." with that statment, Chad got concerned. What could Ethan possibly say that would make the jock hate him. "Whats up E?"
Ethan took a deep breath before looking at the older, starring into his eyes. "I like you. Like like like you.." he whispered. Chad looked at him stunned, shocked. Ethan frowned, looking away. "I'm s-sorry, I should go.." he said, attempting to get up anr leave.
Keyword; attempting
Chad pulled him back down before he locked their lips into a kiss. At that, Ethan eyes widend before he kissed back. The two kissed paciontley before pulling away. "I like like you two..dare I say love you.." Chad boldly said. The brunnete softly smilied at him before pecking his lips. "I think I love you too.." "Yeah?" "Mhm.."
The two continued to stare at eachother, before Chad laided down and mention to Ethan to lay down on his. Ethan quickly complied, laying on the jocks chest. "Can we be boyfriends..? I-if you want to o-of course.." Ethan asked. Chad smilied at him, kissing his head. "I'd love to be your boyfriend Ethan."
And thats how the two fell asleep, cuddled up and consent.
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"Hey lovebird." a smuge voice said as Chad wakes up. Looking around, he saw that Ethan was still fast asleep and that the smug voice belonged to no other then Mindy Meeks-Martin. "Dont even start." he told her in a rough voice. Mindy giggled. "I suggest you take a look at our wonferfull groupchat."
Raising one eyebrow, the older carefully took his phone from the coffee table that it was on without disturbing Ethan before entering the groupchat.
Looking at it, he saw that Quinn took way to many pictures of the two toegther sleeping. "I'm gueesing your boyfriends now?" his twin asked him. "Yeah." he replied, nodding. "Glad to hear. And if you dont want for this to repeat I suggest you two dont sleep together next to Quinn." Mindy laughed, winking at him. "Oh fuck off." Chad replied with a small amused smile. He was so so happy and so so glad he had the chance to be with the most perfect person on this planet, and he woudnt change it ever.
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#scream#scream movies#scream franchise#scream vi#ethan landry#chad meeks martin#chad meeks#chethan#chadthan#ethan landry x chad meeks martin#ethan x chad#m/m fanfic#our fav couple#mwahhh
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please, explain the entire premise of the qsmp to me.
tell me all the little bits and details.
tell me everything.
think of this... as an informational post, for those such as myself uneducated in the world of the qsmp.
thank you.
oh shit oh fuck okay i'm gonna do my best, yeah? just keep in mind three things: i only watch charlie's pov, i got into qsmp the day they got the eggs (so like two weeks late) and it's currently 3am
now let's get into qsmp
but i'm actually gonna be explaining the past two weeks, from the day they got their eggs, since i never really caught up with Charlie's pre-egg vods
so, to set the scene, the smp is on an island - the Quasadilla Island and the players are not allowed to leave; there is a big wall running through like half of the island, a lot of people have houses in and on the wall
also, the server has a lot of cool mods! there are new bioms, mobs, activities (painting, photography, etc) and weapons (like guns and bombs)
the thing is, they broke the wall and woke up a dragon that was apparently sleeping on the island; and since the dragon left somebody needs to watch out after its eggs
most of the players are paired up - one english speaker and one spanish, and they get to pick their own eggs. due to luzu and wilbur's absence, bad and quackity are both single parents to their eggs
the ones we're gonna focus on are the flippos because i love them.
so you've got Slimecicle, ElMariana and their egg daughter JuanaFlippa - and from the very start they establish themselves as The Drama; they argue a lot and since they are very poor they can't really take care of Flippa, also Mariana is known for having a romance with Foolish (which is problematic since Slime and Mariana are now married)
for the life of me i can't remember why they did it but the two of them went to see Foolish and Vegetta's kid and after destroying its bedroom they are absoluely convinced that they killed it. they leave a sign suggesting that somebody drowned the kid and they ran away.
they take a picture of Flippa's bedroom in the same state as Leonard@'s as an alibi AND THEN then they make a deal with little jesus (rubius) to atone for their sins
they're making badboyhalo a farm and in exchange lil J will grant JuanaFlippa an additional life <this is important later
oh, and because neither Charlie nor Mariana showed up for a while, Flippa lost one life to neglect, leaving her on one life since all eggs have two
the next couple days it's mostly Charlie hanging out with Flippa but there's one thing you need to know - satan is real (also rubius) and he will give Juana a gun if charlie kills somebody else's egg in return; Slime tricks Philza into logging off by pretending that Phil's audio is glitching and during that time he breaks the bed in which Chayanne (Phil and Missasinfonia's kid) is sleeping - by doing that he establishes a rule that breaking a sleeping egg's bed means killing the egg < also important
on his quest of revenge Phil tries to kill Flippa the very same day but she kills him with the gun Satan gave her and Slime makes Phil promise not to hurt her
in the meantime Flippa becomes friends with Tilin - Quackity's kid. together the four of them (slime, q and eggs) build little J a house and decide to become family (: flippa hits the sickest water bucket on lil J's request and then tilin and flippa have a sleepover at charlie's
the next day Mariana spends time with Juana and after a whole day he tucks her to bed and accidentaly breaks it, killing her as per the rule that Charlie established; immediately after he goes to play crab game (or something like that)
next time he logs in, charlie tries to go on a rampage to kill everybody's eggs but he fails lmao, he cries himself to sleep while jaiden does a dramatic reading of blue by eiffel65
ok now i gotta be real - i did not catch this particular stream but what i know is, charlie was out with tilin, flippa and roier, he was fightning mobs and his sword had sweeping edge. he kills Tilin and then sad (since he came to love him as his own) he gives Flippa all his stuff except for a flower she gave him a long time ago, leaves Flippa under Roier's care and sets out to find a way to bring back Tilin
then they have the trial! it's Mariana & Roier against Charlie & Jaiden & Quackity & Foolish & Fit & Bad; i could talk about the court case itself for an hour but the gist is, jaiden slayed absolute penis, slimeriana made out, the cheating allegations (of foolish and Mariana) were presented and Philza's testimony of Charlie killing his kid was deemed irrelevant to the case
the judge (Maximus) decides that JuanaFlippa will be revived since her death was a mistake but both parents must spend 10 minutes in jail and then attend couples therapy
Foolish tries to assassinate the two of them while in jail but fails and is imprisoned himself; Mariana and Slime break out of jail so they don't miss Flippa's revival
Juana is back! they take her home, tuck her to bed and then roleplay having sex to coldplay outside
The next day Mariana and Roier take their eggs out to a dungeon (?) and the same thing happens to Flippa as it did to Tilin. she dies only two days after being revived
in today's stream Charlie is in exile and he decides to build a shrine for little J to convince him to switch Juana's backup life (from the farm deal!) to Tilin - he doesn't know that Flippa is dead yet; he's first told by the creepy white island person? (i'm not really sure who they are since it's pre-egg lore but i know they have something to do with census bureau) while gathering supplies but he doesn't believe them and continues work on the shrine; he summons lil J and reminds him of the deal, lil J confirms that Flippa is dead again
Slime decides to switch and ask for Flippa back instead of Tilin; lil J takes him to see the farm since he never saw it and decides to talk with God. he comes back after a while and says that God will take Juana's case to the council of gods and it might take a couple of days, and then he goes back to tormenting other members
before ending stream, Slime says that he didn't expect that to work and that if he does get Flippa back he's gonna go back into exile so nobody sees her
and this is pretty much it! i'm not sure if this is what you had in mind when you asked anon but it is now 4am and i was meant to work on a fic in this time
apologies for any mistakes it is late and i'm not editing this
#let me know if i got something wrong; im writing it 100% from memory#and that memory is from clips. posts. and streams i cought at ungodly hours#why is it just a summary of charlies pov#qsmp#juanaflippa#luka talks#ask!!!!
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Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan (pls) (for the ask thing i mean asdfghjkl;)
lmao ty - lemme do this a sec
1: sexuality headcanon
The boy is bi. Don't ask me how I feel it with such certainty, but I feel it. Also not sexuality, but potentially enby and I feel that in my soul.
2: otp
If I were to put him romantically with someone, I guess Kyle? Those two have a bond that is too adorable however you cut it. I've always had a soft spot for close male friendships in stories goofy or serious, it seems (Egg moment? Egg moment...you don't exactly get that in life when you look like a girl lmao)
3: brotp
Besides Kyle, I'm hoping we'll see more of him and Tolkien hanging out fr. Honestly, I think it would be too niche for an episode but like imagine those two getting Kyle into Warhammer. It would be funny.
4: notp
Sorry, but Wendy can do better. Like maybe they could be friends, and I'm never gonna object to art of the two of them but she really shouldn't stay with him lmao. She's 10 but like...surely even she knows the truth here lmao
5: first headcanon that pops into my head
You know what? He's going to be the second character ever that I claim eats peanut butter with a spoon directly from the jar. That headcanon is so specific and pointless that it's funny. The other one with that honor is one I used to RP from another show back when that was airing (and if you ask certain family members is literally me - someone I know might be reading knows who, but I'll leave the rest of you to guess). In Stan's case, I like to think that Shelley is very vocal about how much it pisses her off and wonders why he can't just make a sandwich lmao.
My other bitter headcanon is the feeling that Matt and Trey are going to keep his family on Tegridy for as long as possible because it's funny to them (both in terms of writing and fan reaction), but honestly kinda breaks my heart that he lives so far from the other three little guys right now.
6: favorite line from this character
Another time where I legitimately cannot think of a single line (but instead many), so I'm just going to embed this because honestly everyone kind of slayed in this scene and I guess technically it's an answer:
youtube
7: one way in which I relate to this character
I was about to say I'd probably have an easier time listing ways I could relate him to other people in my life - there's a couple of people I could think a lot more than myself for - but then realized there are multiple non-bad-but-just-embarrassing things I would decline to state here lmao. The joys of having a character be one of the "normal" ones, I suppose.
That being said, we're both depressed af and 10 years old was a time and a half for me mentally; so I guess that. Finishing YGO/Assburgers both made me like him as a character more and had me staring into silence for like five minutes contemplating my life on an existential level for many reasons lmao
Also growing up, I was known for liking animals and didn't want any to suffer without cause. In my case, I got super obsessed with the RSPCA and I would get called brave by girls at school at the tender age of 8 for touching worms to rescue them from drowning in pavement puddles. idk why this was considered brave, as I was in no way scared to touch worms. Lately it's been making me think that I'd like to get a pet snail again, or at least go outside a bit more again since I've always regretted feeling like I couldn't after I lost a lot of hope in my life.
8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character
I often say he sometimes needs a hug, but sometimes needs someone to absolutely slap him because he can pull some serious dick moves that make me die a little inside. I feel like if someone were to compare me to him, some of the times where I think he deserved someone slapping him would be the reason somehow and I would be offended but understand lmao
9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?
He's a little problematic, like all of us lmao
#south park#stan marsh#sp stan marsh#sp stan#oh my god i googled my old ask rp blog from that other show just now and found it it's like 10 years old now#i am never sharing it with a soul but i'm caught between both feeling really impressed at how i mimicked the character's speech style#and how much i would want to change in his responses to stuff if i brought back doing writing as him for whatever reason#i also realize i kind of accidentally coded said character as a bit gray ace? like I played tsun for his obvious love interest#but really hoped on him not ending up with anyone because i just didn't see him having a romantic relationship in my eyes
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Some of my Liked Songs on Spotify sorted by BPM
This is just a goofy little list that I'm posting so I don't forget about it later
Homage- 73
Sweet/Phemiec-73
Ghost Town - 74
The mind electric/Chonny- 75
The Mind Electric- 77
I wanna tell you a secret - 78
Eventually- 78
I dropped out- 78
Mama’s Boy
Ammonia Baby/Junie- 80
Alien Blues- 82
Nothing Man- 83
Cupid- 83
Ruler of Everything-83
Long Long Time Ago/Jack Conte- 84
Make The Grade- 85
You can't hide- 87
Hey kids– 87
I’m gonna win- 87
Feel Better- 87
Blah Blah Blah- 90
Long Time Friends/The Living Tombstone- 90
Sunflower/Michele Leigh- 90
The woods/San Fermin- 92
Simple Science/Cricket!- 92
Lay Down - 94
Drown Me! - 96
It’s Been So long- 96
Goodbye to a world - 96
Hayloft- 96
Crutches/Drive45- 96
AngstMode3000/Junie- 96
Soul on Fire/Mystery Skulls - 96
Nothing’s New/Rio Romeo- 96
Over and Over- 96
Wrecking Ball- 97
Stuck Inside/Black Gryph0n- 97
Boi Cha Cha/Junie- 97
Leviathan, the Girl- 97
Locket/Crumb- 98
Icicles - 100
For the departed- 100
Saint Bernard- 100
Adapt/That Handsome Devil - 100
Bloody!Bloody! - 101
Hollywood Endings/Jack Conte- 101
When It Rains-102
Something Stupid/Frank Sinatra - 103
Five Nights at Freddy’s- 103
Problems/MM- 104
Pantsuit Sasquatch- 106
Wonda/Caravan Palace- 106
This comes from Inside- 107
End-world normopathy- 107
Dead Weight- 108
Bonnie’s Mixtape/Griffinilla- 108
Memento Mori- 110
Die in a fire - 110
Nothing Critical- 110
Vacillate- 110
Artificial Sweetener/Drive45- 110
Oleander - 112
Maniac/Caravan Palace- 112
A Man Without Love- 112
The Family Jewels/MARINA- 112
Kids- 113
Girls/Marina- 114
Bad Things/Cults- 114
Candle Queen- 115
Hullabaloo/Rare Americans- 115
Freezer Burn/T1lt- 115
Crucified/Ghost- 116
Chug Jug with You- 116
Circus/Brittney spears- 116
Highway to Hell- 116
Notion/Rare Occasions- 116
Michelle/Sir Chloe- 116
Coffee/Jack Stauber- 116
Brass goggles- 117
Copacabana- 117
Fifteen Minutes- 117
Hansel- 118
The Fool/Roan Martin- 118
Watermelon- 118
Absence- 119
Money, money, money- 120
MEGALOVANIA- 120
Moonsickness 120
Honey I’m Home-120
Buttercup- 120
Nunemaker’s Parable- 120
I am not a Robot/Marina- 120
I created a monster- 120
Mister Money Bags- 121
Dumb Dumb- 122
Crucified/Army- 122
Human Leather Shoes for Crocodile Dandies-122
Hermit the Frog- 122
Egg and Soldiers- 123
The Distortionist-124
The Water’s Fine- 124
Are you satisfied- 124
As the world caves in- 124
Hand Me my shove, I’m going in- 125
I’M SANE - 125
Nightmare Parade- 125
Love I Need/The Living Tombstone- 125
Redmageddon- 126
Beatophone-126
Watch Your Back - 127
Labyrinth- 127
Oh No!/Marina- 127
Clash/Caravan- 127
Weird Science- 128
Dog of Wisdom(Blue Verison)/The Living Tombstone- 128
Animal/The Living Tombstone- 128
Crown/Limbo- 128
Freely Tomorrow- 129
Getting Bigger- 130
Hungry for Another One-130
Dinner is not over- 130
You weren’t meant to see that - 130
Welcome to Freddy’s/Madame Macabre- 130
Smile Ukulele- 130
Chamber of Reflection/Steezy Knicks- 132
Gretel- 133
Simon Was- 133
Queasy/Drive45- 134
They’ll keep you running - 135
1000 Doors- 135
My time- 135
Ruler of Everything/Chonny Jash- 136
Chickens- 136
I wanna haunt you - 137
Off with his Head- 137
Follow Me/Dream Valley Music- 137
Little Clown/Phemiec- 137
Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land- 138
Bloody Nose/Jack Conte- 138
Fighter - 139
Feel Good Inc- 139
Burning Pile- 140
Aftermath- 140
Something for your mind- 140
Arms Tonite- 140
Crash/Neovaii - 140
Honeywell- 140
No wind resistance!- 140
Eighth Wonder- 140
Still Life- 142
Carousel Waltz- 142
A Million Gruesome Ways To Die- 142
Tetractys- 143
Murders/Miracle Musical - 144
RAT- 144
Goose Goose Revolution/The Living Tombstone- 145
Charlie’s Inferno- 146
Princess Andy/Petrojvic- 147
Body - 148
Death by Glamour-148
TERRIBLE THINGS- 148
Savages/That Handsome Devil- 148
Are we having fun yet?- 150
Breezeblocks- 150
Take A slice- 150
Under My skin- 150
Cheeseburger Family- 152
Squid Melody- 153
Microchip- 153
Dog Nightmare- 154
As Your Father I expressly - 155
Poison Pop- 157
Leopard- 158
Shutup You’re Stupid/That Handsome Devil- 158
There’s something happening- 159
Chosen- 160
Bring Her Along- 160
Idwtgtbt- 160
Everything I own/Drive45- 165
The Worlds Dumbest Puppet Show- 165
Like a Match/Jack Conte- 166
Join Us(And Die)- 166
Along Came A Spider- 166
Like a Star/Mike Krol- 169
Cabinet Man- 172
Push/Jack Conte- 174
My Ordinary Life- 176
Dopamine high score - 180
I Got No Time- 180
Twist the Knife- 182
I can’t handle change- 184
Just take my wallet- 184
Eat you/Caravan of Thieves- 184
Community Gardens - 190
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CHIKKINS!
In case anyone is interested (but mostly because I just like to talk about chickens and no one can stop me) here’s a list of all the breeds I would like to one day have:
Black copper Marans (yes chocolate eggs plz)
Orpingtons (they’re so FLUFFY)
Araucana and/or Ameraucana (I’m a slut for coloured eggs ok)
Cream Legbars (I love their feathers, also more coloured eggs)
Welsumer (SPECKLES)
Barnevelder (such a beautiful looking chicken, black laced are my faves)
Isbar (green eggs! are you seeing the pattern yet?)
Croad Langshan (pink eggs! also they’re gorgeous and apparently super sweet)
Olive and/or Easter eggers (I just love coloured eggs, rainbow eggs for me)
Bielefelder (so pretty)
Groninger meeuw (local breed and pretty rare, but I think they’re beautiful)
Still contemplating:
Wyandottes (I mean just look at them)
Sussex (especially love the speckled sussex)
Vorwerk and/or Lakenvelder (another rare local breed that I think deserves some more love)
Orloff (I just love the speckled feathers)
Faverolles (SO FLUFFY)
Swedish flower ( I guess I also have a thing for speckled birds)
So...yeah.......help
#hahaha#what would I do with over 80 eggs a week!?#I can only bake so much#I'm gonna be drowning my friends and family in eggs#and then probably still have leftover#I guess I could sell them#but there are already a lot of chickenkeepers in the area who sell eggs so#I don't know if that would be a good way to clear the extra#I would love to donate#but I'm not sure our local foodbank is allowed to accept eggs from a random person instead of a certified egg seller#Not that this is relevant right now#I don't have chickens yet and would have to move if I wanted some#but I SO WANT SOME#I love chickens so much
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In recognition of 200 followers.....
I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.
Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!
1. "I wish I had longer to love you."
2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."
3. "I will kill you if you die on me."
4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."
5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."
6. "The kitten's name is Max."
7. "I'm going to get a beer."
8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."
9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."
10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."
11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."
12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."
13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."
14. "I can't carry you!"
15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."
16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."
17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."
18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."
19. "You are insane."
20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."
21. "What is love?"
22. "I don't get the function of hugs."
23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."
24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."
25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."
26. "Sing with me."
27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."
28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."
29. "Don't give me hope."
30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."
31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."
32. "You created me."
33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."
34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."
35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."
36. "Power exhaustion sucks."
37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*
38. "Let me feed you Hero."
39. "You do not have AC?!"
40. "Villain you have a fever."
41. "Am I drunk?"
42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."
43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."
44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."
45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"
46. "She needs surgery."
47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"
48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."
49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."
50. "There's only one bed."
51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."
52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"
53. "You are a peacock Hero."
54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"
55. "I wasn't always like this."
56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."
57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."
58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."
59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."
60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."
61. "Gag her."
62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."
63. "Talk now or she dies."
64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."
65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."
66. "The police are coming."
67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"
68. "I love you." "I don't."
69. "Hug me just one last time."
70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."
71. "They won't be able to walk again."
72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."
73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"
74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."
75. "I'm really tired..."
76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."
77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."
78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."
79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."
80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."
81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"
82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."
83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"
84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."
85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."
86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."
87. "An injection of valium will do it."
88. "There's no anesthesia."
89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"
90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."
91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."
92. "Join me and we can be great."
93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."
94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."
95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."
96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."
97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."
98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."
99. "I know everything about you."
100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."
101. "What did you give me?"
102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."
103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."
104. "How hard did you punch me?"
105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."
106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."
107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."
108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."
109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."
110. "Hugs are overrated."
111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."
112. "I wish we could turn back time."
113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."
114. "Make a wish." "That you live."
115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."
116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."
117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."
118. "Supervillain is in danger!"
119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."
120. "My head is killing me."
121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."
122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."
123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."
124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"
125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."
126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."
127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"
128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."
129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."
130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."
131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."
132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."
133. "Just shut up and listen!"
134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."
135. "She turned it around... at the end."
136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."
137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."
138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."
139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."
140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."
141. "If only it was that easy."
142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"
143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."
144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."
145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."
146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"
147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."
148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."
149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."
150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."
151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."
152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."
153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."
154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."
155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."
156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."
157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"
158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."
159. "I formally apologize."
160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."
161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."
162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."
163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"
164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."
165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."
166. "Say your goodbyes."
167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."
168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"
169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"
170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"
171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."
172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."
173. "We have a breach!"
174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"
175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."
176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."
177. "Don't overuse your powers."
178. "This is just an unfortunate event."
179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."
180. "His fever is rising."
181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."
182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."
183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."
184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."
185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."
186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."
187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."
188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."
189. "This is for your own good, I promise."
190. "I'm cold."
191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."
192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"
193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."
194. "I want a kitten."
195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."
196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."
197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."
198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."
199. "Life is too short for pleasures."
200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."
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the bachelorette chp 5, part 2: connie’s proposal
an: hey yall 😛 i'll be posting another q&a before the final elimination chapter comes out. the day after that, i will close the poll, so make good choices! if you wanna change your mind, do it NOW! if you haven't voted, NOW is your chance😁 also, once again, i had to add an extended part to the connie family chapter because the full thing did not upload :( if the extended part helps you change your mind on connie, let me know! also, i really like this chapter because i could properly write a beach story! i went to a beach last week for the very first time and now i won't sound stupid when writing (and i'll never beat around the bush again!) link at the bottom!
tags: fem, black reader
tag list: @taybird
Unlike Jean, Connie did give you an idea of where you were going. He told you to bring some sandals and a light outfit and "not to worry about swimming because I know you don't want to mess up your hair- or makeup". There was a high chance you would be going to the beach where you had your first solo date. It was also the first time you talked about Connie being your husband. He said something about being "wise" about your decision. Now that you think about it, there was a pattern of Connie trying to avoid the fact that you two would have to be in love. You wondered if he'd bring that up again while proposing to you. You wouldn't want to say no to Connie if he did that but the whole friend zone thing is a BIG turnoff (y'all's words, not mine 😉)
But there was a positive side to this maybe? You already knew Connie and he had a higher advantage than Jean. You wouldn't even have to think about building a connection with him because you already had one. But the problem was love. You knew would enter a relationship with Jean, y'all would be lovey-dovey BUT you would need to build a friendship too.
Damn, this was hard. But this would all be over soon. You'd get a big wedding and if you didn't like Connie or Jean, you could move on. It's not like you're signing papers at the televised ceremony.
But anyways 😭 let's starts Connie's date. No time for analysis!
Connie had texted you that he was outside. You grabbed your purse and left the mansion. When you got outside, Connie was leaning on his car, being handsome and all.
"Hey," you greet him. You hold your arms out, hoping for a hug or even a kiss. Connie steps forward leans towards you but his head goes to the side and he's hugging you. Would this guy wait till the possible engagement before getting romantic with you or would the rest of your marriage be like this?
Connie pulls away. "I'm really excited," he says. You want to yell at him right now but the day just started. Maybe he was doing all this to lead you on and make sure you want to fight for him. To be real, this was getting tiring. Connie better be doing something big!
"I'm really excited to see what you have in store for me as well," you reply. Other than seeing Connie's next moves or his proposal, you were excited about the food. You knew Connie could cook, it was in his genes and he did cook for you multiple times throughout the show. As Connie opens the passenger seat for you, you begin to ask him what was on the menu today.
"Well, I've noticed how nauseous you get when under the pressure, so I made egg sandwiches and I packed juices and water. I hope that's alright. When we get engaged, I'll make you a big meal. I promise," Connie says before closing your door.
You thought it was sweet that Connie took note of that. When he got into the driver's seat, you gave him a small smile before opening your mouth. "Thank you, Connie. I really appreciate the fact that you thought about that."
Connie starts the car and begins the drive to the venue. There wasn't much talking done, probably because you would bring up the whole friendship thing. You wanted to get that settled but you also wanted to see what Connie has planned. These two dates weren't just about you saying yes or no but it was a way to see how much Jean and Connie wanted you. If there were problems in the past, they would try and fix them now.
Minutes later you were at the beach (you were right😁). Connie found parking and got out of the car to get the food. You got out on your own. It was weird not having someone rush to your side to open your door. Connie met you on your side of the car and offered you his hand. You can't remember him doing that before (if he has, forgive me yall🧍🏾♀️). But his hands felt nice, so you couldn't complain.
The same table from your solo date remained there. "Hey, Connie, just for you, I'll get in the water," you suddenly say. "Huh?! Really?!" he explains. 'Gosh, what a kid,' you think. "You just made this better, y/n! Thank you!" Connie continues. "Just my feet though. I didn't come here to get baptized or anything."
Connie places the picnic basket with all the little things he packed for you. He then proceeds to pull a chair out for you. When you sit, he pulls out one egg sandwich for you. "Juice or water?" Connie asks. "Um, (juice/water)," you reply. He places the drink of your choice in front of you and finally sits down. Connie sets up his food and is ready to dig in until he notices that you haven't touched any of your food.
"Hey...is everything alright? You feel sick?"
You shake your head. "Connie, we need to talk."
Connie sits up slowly. "What's up?"
You liked that Connie was able to see that something was up. This would be useful if you got married.
"How long are you going to friendzone me?"
Connie chokes in his spit. "What?"
"I mean sure we've been lovey-dovey but I still don't feel that romantic connection. If I do say yes to you, I expect us to start acting like a couple. I want you to be my husband, not my friend."
Connie is silent for a minute and then he opens his mouth. "But people who are friends-"
"Oh, shut up. You can be my friend but I want a husband! Please, stop bringing up those statistics and love me!"
You never thought you would be throwing a mini tantrum over a man. Is this who we are? Is this what we represent?
"Come with me," Connie says. You're hesitant to get up until he offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up from the chair.
Connie slowly leads you down the water and you start to freak out mentally. Was he going to drown for telling him off? Connie wasn't that crazy right?
As you walked, you felt yourself slipping out of your shoes. The sand didn't hesitate to fill in the gaps of your toes and tickle your feet. The further you went, the deeper you were. Connie was just walking like it was nothing. You reached the water and Connie came to a stop. For a moment, he stared out into the ocean. You just stared at your feet. The waves pushed the water on your feet causing you to sink more into the sand. This was the world. You were on the edge. You weren't going to live for long, so you had to make the best of it.
"y/n, I hear your cries for love and I'm willing to give it to you. Marry me. I'll work on myself and you'll work on yourself. I promise you, I'll do anything to grow old with you."
Connie’s ring didn’t come in a box. He just pulled it out from his pocket. It was a diamond covered band with a halo shaped sapphire right in the middle.
damn, wonder who y’all gonna choose🤒 LINK
if you’re curious about how these rings look like, here:
connie (left) jean (right , however, his doesn’t match the description i wrote😒)
also, sorry for the white hand. i took a buzzfeed quiz
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This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again
Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes
Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens
Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon
Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be
MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT
Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"
Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open"
Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"
Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"
Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"
Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"
Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day"
Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"
Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"
Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"
Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"
Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"
Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"
Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"
Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"
Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"
Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"
Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"
Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"
Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"
Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"
Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"
Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"
Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"
Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"
Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"
Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"
Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"
Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"
Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"
Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"
Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"
Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"
Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"
Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"
Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"
Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"
Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"
Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"
Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"
Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"
IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"
Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"
Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"
Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"
Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"
Goombape:"When i played it as a children"
Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"
Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"
Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"
Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"
Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"
Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"
Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"
Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"
Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"
Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game"
Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"
Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"
Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"
Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"
IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"
Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"
Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"
Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"
Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"
Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"
Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here" and he's right, there has to be a better way""
Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"
goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"
Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"
Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"
Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("
Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"
Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"
Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"
Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"
Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"
Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"
Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"
Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"
Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"
Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"
Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"
IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor"
Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"
Sushiya, testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"
Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock, but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"
Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"
Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"
Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"
Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"
Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"
IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"
Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"
Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"
Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"
Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"
Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"
Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"
Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"
Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"
Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"
Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "
Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"
Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"
Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy, I'll save my ammo for my suicide"
Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"
IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"
Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"
Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"
Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"
Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"
Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"
Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"
Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"
Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "
Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"
Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"
CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT
Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"
Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"
Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"
Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"
Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "
Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"
Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"
Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]
Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"
Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"
Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"
Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"
Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"
Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"
maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"
Bolivia, talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"
IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"
Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"
Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"
Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation, the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "
Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"
IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"
Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"
Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"
Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination, i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket"
Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"
Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING"
Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "
Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"
Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"
Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"
Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"
Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"
Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"
Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"
Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"
Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"
Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"
Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"
Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*
Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"
Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"
Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"
Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"
Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"
Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"
Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"
Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"
Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"
Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"
Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"
Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"
Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"
Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"
Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"
Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]
Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"
Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"
Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum, why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"
Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"
Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"
Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"
Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"
Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"
IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"
goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"
Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"
Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"
Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"
Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"
Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"
Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"
Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"
Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"
Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"
Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"
Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"
Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"
Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"
Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"
Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"
Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"
Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"
Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"
Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed
Frequent reblogers
<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>
<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>
PLEASE REBLOG!
#funny#mario#paper mario#book of mario#bolivia#mary#barbie the bob omb#1000 infernal air sleeves#quotes#captainsauce#mitten squad#paul#goomb#goverman#goombell#carbon
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Horror Night
Warnings: language, gore.
Pairings: Daryl x reader x Negan.
My heart felt heavy on my chest. I choked in every breath I took. I watched, what used to be Abraham, crushed in the floor. Everything was ringing. The tears blinding my vision.
Negan talked but I didn't pay attention, I couldn't. He was in front of Rosita, trying to get her to see the bloody bat of the man she loved. In a second, Daryl took a swing at Negan.
"Daryl! No!" I screamed and ran towards him, my hands extended in an attempt to grab him. Before I could reach him, some of Negan's men were already holding me down as well as Daryl.
"No!" Negan yelled pointing his bat at Daryl. "That- oh," he chuckled. "That is a no no. The whole thing, not one bit of that shit flies here." He now kneeled in front of me. His rough hand was pulling on my chin to look up at him. "Brave little thing here, eh?"
I pulled my face away from his grasp. He stood back up. A blonde man held Daryl's crossbow at his face.
"You want me to kill him? Right here?"
"No!" I screamed. Trashing my body in the men's grip, I kicked around.
"Hey! Hey, what part of staying quiet do you not get?" Negan turned to me with his bat.
"Please, please, don't kill him. I'm begging you." I sobbed and I felt like I couldn't breath. My breath was stuck in my throat. I felt like I was having a panic attack. When I started shaking more violently I knew I was. My limbs felt as if they weren't there. I felt heavy but at the same time lite.
I heard Negan say something and then Daryl was thrown back in line. He approached me and kneeled back down. I tried to push the men away but they just gripped tighter. "I c-an't brea-th." I stuttered.
"What did you say again, darlin'"
"I-I can't br-eath." He signalled his men and I was dropped. My palms were on the ground as I tried to calm down. My chest heaved violently as I gasped for air. I felt like I was drowning.
"Holy fucking shit, she is having an attack." He joked.
New tears reamed down my face and fell to the dirt. This could be it. I looked at Daryl. He was looking at me, I saw a tear flow down his cheek. He tried to walked towards me but he was pushed down.
I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. Deep breaths. I could feel the oxygen make its way to my lungs. I heard Daryl's voice telling me to calm down like he had done countless of time, but in difference, he wasn't holding me this time.
After what felt like hours I opened my eyes and felt like I could breathe again.
"Still with us, doll?" Negan asked jokingly. "Both of you are so impulsive, not surprised you two are fucking." He took my face in his hand forcefully.
I glared up at him and he chuckled. "Get her back in line." Like that I was thrown in my back and dragged to where I had been kneeling before.
"Anyway... that's not how it works. Now, I already told you people, first one's free. Then what did I say, I said I would shut that shit down." He had a maniac smile on his face. "No exceptions. Now I don't know what kind of lying assholes you've been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important." Short silence. "I need you to know me. So, back to it."
In a second Negan's bat connected with Glenn's head. I blinked a few times. Not being able to believe this was really happening. We had just lost two of the strongest men of our group in a couple of minutes. I looked at Maggie and saw her sobbing.
I looked back at Glenn. You could see his skull and one of his eyes was bulging out of its socket.
My heart was beating out of my chest and I could hear every beat thumping.
"Buddy, you still there?" Negan asked mockingly. He muttered something and then exclaimed. "You are trying to speak! But you just took a hell of a hit. I just popped your skull so hard your eyeball just popped out. This is as gross as shit."
"Maggie I-I'll find yo-u." Glenn finally was able to mutter out.
"Oh, hell." Negan spoke. His voice was calm and serious. Like he actually felt sorry. "I can see this is hard, amiga. I am sorry. I truly am. But, I did say..." a smile now played in his lips. "No exceptions." He swinged at Glenn again. I jumped back in place.
No, no, no.
"You bunch of pussies... I'm just getting started. Lucille is thirsty." He kept hitting and hitting. There was nothing left to hit yet he kept swinging his bat. After he got tired he stepped away and joked. "She is a vampire bat."
The only sound was Negan's boot and our cries.
"What? Was the joke that bad?"
Rick looked up from his spot with a trembling yet determined look in his eyes. "I'm gonna kill you."
"What? I didn't quite catch that. You're gonna have to speak up." Negan mocked.
"Not today... not tomorrow... but I'm gonna kill you."
"Jesus," Negan scoffed. "Simon, what did he have? Knife?"
"He had a hatchet."
"Hatchet?" He smiled.
"An axe."
Negan laughed. "Simon, is my right hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without 'em. A whole pile of work. You have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing. Oh, or did I-" he made a clock sound with his tongue.
Rick remained silent. Negan sighed. "Sure, yeah. Give me his axe."
Who I believed was Simon, stepped up with axe in hand and gave it to Negan. He stood up and grabbed Rick by the shoulder. "We'll be right back, maybe Rick will be with me. If not, well we can just turn these people's inside out. I mean, the ones that are left."
With that he shut the trailer's door closed and drove away.
I looked at Daryl. He was shaking. His gunshot wound could get infected with all the trauma his body was going through right now. I went to stand up but was held in place.
"I'm not gonna do anything. You have all of our weapons, what could I do?" I tried to reason with the men.
"You stay on your knees, bitch. Unless you want to end up like your friends over there." He signalled to the bodies that laid on the floor. With a thud I sat back in the ground, pulling my legs to my chest.
--
Hours had passed and the sun had come up when the trailer came back. No one came out for a couple of minutes. The air was full of tension as we hoped to see Rick still alive. When the door finally opened, Rick was pushed to the ground and Negan came out, he dragged Rick back to us.
"Here we are. Let me ask you something, Rick. You even know what that little trip was about?"
Rick remained silence.
"Speak when you're spoken to."
"Okay... okay."
"That trip was about the way you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand. But you're still looking at me the same damn way... like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work." He paced around and then kneeled next to Rick. "So... do I give you another chance?"
"Yeah. Yes. Yes."
Patting Rick's shoulder he stood up. "Okay." He chuckled. "All right. And here it is- the grand prize game. What you do now will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day. Get some guns to the back of their heads.”
Guns cocked from behind us.
"Good. Now... level with their noses, so if you have to fire..." he imitates an explosion. "It'll be a real mess."
Silence.
"Kid." He said looking at Carl. "Right here." He pointed to the ground beside Rick. Carl was frozen in place. "Kid... now." Carl took slow steps. Negan took of his belt. "You a southpaw?"
"Am I a what?"
"You a lefty?"
"No."
"Good." He smiled as he took Carl's arm and tied the belt around it, cutting the circulation. "That hurt?"
"No."
"Should. It's supposed to." He finished tying the belt. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings." He took Carl's hat off.
Carl did as told. "Simon, you got a pen?"
"Yeah." He threw it at Negan. He took of the cap with his teeth and kneeled next to Carl.
"Sorry, kid. This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it across the forearm." We all watched in horror as Negan drew a line in Carl's arm. "There you go. Gives you a little leverage."
"Please. Please. Please don't. Please don't." Rick begged.
"Me?" Negan chuckled. "I ain't doing shit." He stood up. "Ah. Rick, I want you to take your axe... cut of your son's left arm off, right on that line. Now I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die... and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep you breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it."
"You- you don't have to do this. We understand. We understand." Michonne spoke.
"You understand. Yeah. I'm not sure Rick does." He advertido his attention back to Rick. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice- nothing messy, clean, forty five degrees- give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine. Probably. Rick this needs to happen now- chop, chop- or I will crush the little fella's skull myself."
"Please, we all understand. Rick understands. We all work for you, stop this. You don't need to prove a point because you already did." I tried. This was my family. I wasn't gonna stay quiet and not try anything. My arms pointed at the fallen bodies.
I felt a gun press against the back of my head.
"It can- it can- it can be me." Rick stuttered out. "It can be me. Y-you can do it to me. I c- I can go with- with you."
"No. This is the only way. Rick... pick up the axe." Rick didn't move. "Not making a decision is a big decision." Negan's voice raised. "You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing." He still didn't move. "Oh, my god." He groaned. "Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win. I am counting."
"Three!"
"Please." Rick cried out. "Please. It can be me. Please!"
"Two!" He kneeled next to Rick.
"Please, don't do-" Rick sobbed and I looked away.
"This is it."
Rick screamed. I shut my eyes closed. Tears running down my cheeks.
"One!"
"Dad... just do it. Just do it." I heard Carl whisper.
I looked back at the scene.
Rick held the axe high, preparing to cut his son's arm.
"Rick." Negan stopped him. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" Rick nodded hastily. "Speak when you're spoken to!" Negan's voice beamed making everyone jump. "You answer to me. You provide for me."
"Provide for you." Rick answered shakily.
"You belong to me, right?!"
"Right." Rick breathed heavy.
"Right. That... is the look I wanted to see." He stood up and took the axe. "We did it... all of us, together... even the dead ones on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure." He sighed. "Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all your sake... that you get it now... that you understand how this work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you... that is over now." He chuckled.
There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Ah, Dwight... load him up." He signalled to Daryl who struggled in, who I suppose was Dwight's, arms.
"What are you gonna do to him?" I asked. Trying to sound as strong as I could. Negan turned to me.
"How could I forget about you?" He took long yet calming strides towards me. "You, darlin', are coming with me too."
"Why?" I sounded more panicked than I wanted to.
"Because..." he smiled. "You've got a mouth on you and I really, really like it. Keeps me on my feet. I have a proposal for you..." he waited for my name.
"Lucia."
He smiled and licked his lips. "You hear that, Lucille? They sound similar... okay, Lucia. I have this proposal for you. You come with me, be one of my wives, and I, won't kill another one of your group, for your blabbing mouth. How does that sound, hm?"
Shock was written all over my face. "It's your choice, Lucia. Either you come with me or... I kill another one of your friends. So, what will it be?" He passed his finger along my jawline. I looked at the truck where Daryl was in.
Maybe, if I went with him I could find a way to help Daryl escape. I looked around the group. I wasn't gonna let anyone else die, much less because of my fault.
"Okay." I said. Turning off all my emotions.
"Great." He smiled. "You and I are gonna have a lot of fun together." He licked his lips while scanning my body. "Fan-fucking-tastic. Simon, put her in my truck. I still have some words to say to our new pal Rick."
As Simon grabbed my arm and led me to a truck I looked back and saw Rick watching me. I gave him a slight nod with my head, telling him I had a plan.
I wrote this a some time ago but hadn’t posted it here. Requests are open ❤️
#imagine#the walking dead#imagines#twd daryl dixon#daryl imagine#daryl dixion imagine#the walking dead daryl#twd daryl#daryl#daryl dixon#daryl dixon imagine#daryl fanfiction#the walking dead imagine#the walking dead negan#negan fanfiction#negan imagine#negan fic#twd negan#negan#negan smut#twd#twd fanfiction#twd imagine
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Ween: The Pod
Ah, the album that nearly killed the band. An underrated part of the band's history, this album was recorded when Dean and Gene came down with a mean (Not Mean Ween, the handsome gentleman on the cover) case of mononucleosis which they self-medicated with huffing, explaining 100% of the songs on this album as well as a few flashbacks on future ones. I've always liked a few songs from this album but it took a couple of listens for it to grow on me. But trust me, when you give this album a chance, you will not only gain a new appreciation for music, you can pretty much listen to anything.
1. Strap on That Jammypac
A great way to introduce the album with the sheer what-the-fuckness of the warbling voice that sets you up for a hell of a lead-in instruments tackling you to the floor and beating the shit out of you in the name of the Boognish. Taste the curb, bitch.
10/10
2. Dr. Rock
One of the more recognizable songs from this album. You can clearly hear the guys having fun with this track to the point that it can be seen as a leftover from The Oneness. A great punk track that can kill vermin with how wild it is.
15/10
3. Frank
I know I'm supposed to be thinking about this Frank guy but this song just makes me hungry. My family wants me to cut back on cheese because that's unhealthy all of a sudden. Combine this with the fact that I can only eat fries if I get take-out and it looks like bad times are ahead for your friend. Now I'm sad.
9/10
4. Sorry Charlie
Geez, this Charlie guy sounds like a real sad sack. I feel pretty bad for hi---girlfriend in high school? Wow, never mind. Hope the diddling was worth surfing from couch to couch, Seth Rogen in Pineapple Express. Dreary...for the girl.
9/10
5. The Stallion (Part 1)
Yes...finally a song that lets people know who they're fucking with. Hint: it's the wrong person. Nicely garbled and violently vulgar, I think I speak for ever single American when I say this song should replace the pledge of allegiance.
50/10
6. Pollo Asado
Ah, the wonders of ordering food. Nice back and forth here, real distant and creepy...great, I'm hungry again. And I want lemonade. IT'S MY MONEY, I CONTROL MY DIET!
8/10
7. Right to the Ways and the Rules of the World
A sad song about how the cosmos truly work. Truly full of despair, can't you hear the instruments and the sorrowful voice? Don't pay attention to the laughter near the end. Pay attention to the incense coming from outside. Seems self-defeating, doesn't it? Just like the universe...
11/10
8. Captain Fantasy
My favorite song from the album and the best one to randomly sing to yourself on the subway when you're blitzed on Long Island Iced Teas from Ease. Awesome sound on this track and no other one can challenge that.
100/10
9. Demon Sweat
Surprisingly chill for the sludgefest of this album. I'm guessing this must have been the most difficult song for them to record considering how slow it sounds. An essential listening for people who need to know how nice Ween can jam.
66/10
10. Molly
What a nice fucked track that makes you think you managed to break the device you're listening to it on. I hope Molly appreciates that this song is better than the entirety of what my neighbors blast as they roll past the apartment window. I'm on the tenth goddamn floor. Turn down your fucking music!
17/10
11. Can U Taste The Waste?
Pretty everything is a waste except this song. So dirty, so brown, so good. Send this song through the sewers to battle dragons and rescue princesses instead of that Italian sell-out.
40/10
12. Don't Sweat It
This dude tells me not to sweat it but it's hard not to when the guitar is this violent is the percussion is this taunting. And here you are talking about tea again! I am going to let my family have it at our next meeting.
10/10
13. Awesome Sound
Look, Awesome Sound, I hate to be the one to tell you this but despite how tight you are, you're not best banger on the album. That's Captain Fantasy. Good effort with the strumming though.
10/10
14. Laura
Another beautifully garbled song about a man killing himself over a chick. Or maybe he's gonna kill other people. Tough to tell. Guys and gals, there's always fish in the sea. And one of the most important fish is you. Don't bump yourself off because one or more don't want to swim in your current.
10/10
15. Boing
A tribal (can I say that? I'm black and it sounds wrong) chant over sound drowned beats creates a nice scene to bong mask yourself to. Something tells me this should be the track you listen to when you stare at the album cover in a dark room for several hours.
9/10
16. Mononucleosis
Finally, we get to the root of the madness. Gene croons about the band getting so sick that they couldn't smoke or drink it away or play with their lovely cat. If that was the case, I would pray Komm, Susser Tod too. A freaky sludgy story that can legally give you a fever, do not mess this tale.
11/10
17. Oh My Dear (I Must Be Falling In Love)
My second favorite song that remains juvenile yet more serious than Ween's previous romantic output. Short, sweet and sounding like something SongDrops would put out if they hired better musicians, seduce your boo at your next sleepover with this.
90/10
18. Sketches of Winkle
And we're back to punk. Fast-paced, hard and loud enough to wake up a man that slept for a hundred years, this song will stick in your head for days on end.
50/10
19. Alone
Aaaaaaaaand back to soft. Very mellow, very chill. You can put this song as the ending to Texhnolyze and nobody would be the wiser because it is that much of a downer. Geez, I hope this is as dark as the band gets, eh?
9/10
20. Moving Away
More mellowness. Let's hope this song is talking about the guys moving out of their hellhole of an apartment. Escape the mold, fellas.
8/10
21. She Fucks Me
A bit slower about a girl that fucks. She fucks Gene, she fucks Dean, she fucks me, she fucks all of us. It's I'm guessing the guys were running out of steam at this point but this song is still pretty cool.
10/10
22. Pork Roll Egg And Cheese
A tune that wouldn't be out of place on Spongebob (wink), Ween sings about their love for a balanced breakfast in this nice ditty. Picks up at the tune of the album at the end and sets us up for a doozy.
10/10
23. The Stallion (Part 2)
Come hither for the album closes out by reminding the listeners of who they shouldn't fuck with, mang. Mr. Ed ain't got nothing on this shit where a man reveals that he runs the show. Nice way to close out an album.
75/10
Album Score: 27.7/10
Next week, we will tackling one Ween's objectively two best albums, Pure Guava. See you there.
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