#I'm just so done

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

I still feel dead inside. I don't think I know when I'll stop feeling dead inside. Can't believe psg is still putting me through this.

#football #psg #I'm not ok #going to sleep #I'm just so done

[neaverse]

I'm so sick of this fandom. Let people write whatever the fuck they want without throwing accusations. If you have a problem with it, go and write the fic you want. Contribute instead of complaining. We're not making any profit from fanfiction and it's not up to you to decide what I and other writers can and cannot write. If there's a lack of something, then try to resolve it by contributing instead of “forcing” other writers to do it for you. We're not machines. We're not here to create media for you to consume. It's not made for you but rather shared with you. Stop acting like you have a say in it. Don't start hating on fics if something happens and you don’t like it. It's not yours, it's ours. We're proud of it and that's all that matters. You don't have to read it— you're free to stop at any point. It's okay to not like something but it's not okay to hate on it just because it doesn't meet your expectations. It's free, stop complaining and find something else to read.

Also, stop dissecting and rating fics. It's not for you to pick apart and examine and it's so fucking disrespectful how it's become normal to share the fics you hate/dislike on social media. We are real people with real feelings. It doesn't matter that we shared it online— we do not have to accept it when people shit-talk our fics as if we won't see it because we do.

Oh, and while we're at it, learn how to use ao3. You can exclude ships and tags. It's not always that there are no fics— you just don't know how to use ao3 effectively.

#ranting with nea #I'm just so done #especially with the TikTok side of the Marauders fandom #unless a fic is seriously problematic #write whatever the fuck you want #some people clearly don't know how to open a dictionary and throw words at authors that they do not fully understand #and THATS a problem #Have your preferences and hc #no one is taking them away from you #but it's not okay to throw harmful words at people because you simply don't like something #I'm not looking to start a discussion about this #that's part of the reason why this post is kind of vague #but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying #Just… stop being shitty people when there's no reason to be #you're ruining everyone’s joy #marauders

[unveiled-if]

Sorry for the radio silence!

A... Lot has been going on. Idk if I've ever told this but I work two jobs at the moment, one as a restaurant manager and other within the navy, and it's grinding me to the ground. I have exactly 1 day off during the week and that's spent sleeping and crying, you'll know more as you read. If you don't, I get it. It's a bit of a downer post.

But working is fine! I like being a busybody, and I love working for both places. BUT.

My back/leg/hip/lumbar's given out. I don't know if it's the worst case of sciatica known to mankind or what, but it's been going on since last November and getting worse by the day. I'm 25 and looking at a future in early retirement (AT UNDER 30), it's that bad, and even worse for my psyche. Painkillers don't help (prescription/OTC, what have you), muscle relaxants don't work, physio doesn't work, one doctor even injected some cortisone for a whole separate issue and wow, surprise, that didn't work. I'm so close to going to the ER and asking for an amputation at this point.

Now, I know sharing this is kinda TMI, but I feel like you deserve a reason, the transparency why I haven't gotten around to posting lately. I've just been working (literally) through the pain, gone home, ugly cried from the agony, and passed out just to repeat the whole shebang.

And I can't not work. I'm so deep in debt, you know, in Finnish standards. I know 13k is nothing compared to some, but here it's a lot if I can't keep working.

I'm sorry for oversharing, but this is my reality right now, and I'm at my wit's end. I can't sleep, I can barely get out of bed. I can't tie my shoes. I can't pick up my niece, and I can't go out to spend time with my friends without almost overdosing on painkillers just to move. Sometimes only alcohol helps, and I don't want to do that because of the addiction running in my genes.

I want to scream and cry and leave this body for a better one, but I can't, and if this keeps going I won't be able to do anything and it scares the shit out of me.

I know the doctors are doing their best, but of course there's bias when I'm so young. We have to go through all the plausible treatments before surgery is even considered. Plus, I'm from a tiny town. Getting an appointment takes months, and then it's the same things all over again.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not giving you the updates you deserve. I still listen to music that inspires me, and I do write down ideas, but I can't bring myself to write more than a paragraph, once a week.

I'm sorry for not interacting or being as chipper as I usually am. It's just too much for me to handle all at once, I am but one creature.

But I'll try to keep up a positive outlook. Finland is a good country, with good healthcare, and I trust them to help me so I can keep paying taxes haha.

Sorry for a long, useless post, but you deserve to know. And maybe I needed to get it off my chest. My family is already tired of listening to me complain anyway.

Love y'all forever 💜

#talk tag #any med atudents in my mytuals feel free to hop in lol #I'm just so done #this mortal body...

[tardis--dreams]

You know how seon-a calls yohan young master in english? Yeah it's 'Meister Young' in german. It's painful

#idk why this is so bad #beyond evil was fine in German #this is just. horrendous #i hate everything about it #but there's this part of me that just hates quitting and prefers suffering the whole way through something #so i don't switch to english no matter how much the german subtitles make me want to cry #i'm just so done #and again #french and spanish translated it just fine #the devil judge #endless suffering

[vee-is-a-clown]

Pidge when Keith and Lance show up to school late on Valentine's Day:

#Happy Valentines Day!! 💕💕 #I hadn't intended to post anything for Valentine's Day #it's just that I saw this couple at school wearing almost this exact outfit combo and I can only think of Klance #I hate this so bad I want to kill it #the necks are atrocious #I hate it I hate it I hate it #oh dear lord I hate it #I never want to see this again #I'm just so done #I drew this in 20 minutes during my free time #oh my God the neck #I have nothing else left to say other than I am done with this and I hate it #voltron #keith voltron #vld keith #keith kogane #klance #lance voltron #vld lance #lance mcclain #art #Klance art #valentines day Klance

[permanentreverie]

The urge of me handing in my resignation grows stronger with every passing day istg

#I'm super tempted to do it on my next shift #cause fuck this place #I'm just so done #do I have another job lined up? no. #am I making semi-decent money here? yeah kinda. #but fuck every person here #and I especially don't wanna be here in september when it would just be me and That Bitch working full time. #so guys I think I'm gonna quit #haha #God please guide me and help me find purpose as I make a rash decision 🙏

[shipmistress9]

There's something really heartbreaking about looking for community/friends, about interacting and participating in conversations, adding (what I feel like are) funny or interesting comments to build on...

Only to be repeatedly shut down, ignored, shunned, or misunderstood, for your additions to get deleted, even, without an explanation and without them violating any rules.

It hurts to long for that connection and get rejected, then see five min later how the same people who you'd hoped could become friends turn around and befriend those who openly scorned you.

I just... I'm not sure I can't do this.

#fandom #fandom things #I'm just so done

[genderfluidgothwitch]

Now that I've finally been able to process it, imma share what happened yesterday.

My MIL is a woman with... intentions... some of which are good, some of which aren't. Of course she thinks it's always good intentions. Yesterday she asked me when my drs appointment was (to finally talk to them about my chronic pain). And she just... went off the fucking rails. She started by saying "when you get better" and I'm like, there is no better for this, this is my life, has been my life for longer than you've known me, but go on I guess. Then she had the nerve to ask me what I would be doing if I didn't have my husband. And I'm like "living with my awful parents on disability for the rest of my life???" And she very clearly did not understand the American disability system because she kept saying there's help out there, everyone who is actually disabled and has medical proof gets disability, and I'm about ready to start cackling at this point, and then she has the NERVE to bring up my parents and how they should be getting something for my father (also disabled, different reason, still an asshole) because if he was actually disabled he would be getting help. And to push that point in even further, she asked me what my intentions were regarding my pain. And I'm like I mean if I have to quit my job for the sake of my health I'm gonna have to do it. And she asks how I'll make money. Because I HAD to have some sort of income. Basically saying if I was going to live in her house I had to contribute financially somehow. And I'm like there is a very severe cap for how much money I can make while on disability, and if I'm getting disability benefits I can't legally marry my husband (still technically my fiancé). She told me, straight up, that I can't rely on his income. Also said my husband wouldn't be able to survive on his own. That's because your codependent ass hasn't let him out of your sight for more than two seconds since he was born. Like idk what the fuck you think is going on here Karen but this ain't it. You do not get to tell me how to live my life when I have chronic pain. There is no solution, there is only slightly better or a fuck of a lot worse.

Thankfully my husband set her straight later on in the day and basically told her "you will not talk to my spouse about their chronic pain because you have literally no idea what it's like to be in pain all the time, and while I don't either I see exactly how much pain they're in. You have no say, you will not bring it up, and that's that". She did tell him (although didn't tell me) that she thinks she went to far with the comments on my parents. No shit??? She still didn't fucking apologize for it tho, to either of us.

#I'm just so done #I can't live with my parents but I can also barely tolerate living with her sometimes #she's just so... ignorant and she doesn't care that she's ignorant #personal

[itsmaxbitch]

nah all we get is disappoint this week .... Now Jamie Chadwick has come out and said trans women shouldn't be allowed to race in w series ?????

#f1 #formula 1 #w series #jamie chadwick #i'm just so done

[madnessismylover]

Sometimes I wish I was an artist instead of a writer because I don't and won't ever get paid to write about things I enjoy, but artists can do commissions.

No one commissions writers...

#im depressed about being broke again soon #I'm just so done

[bobafettuccini]

stg if my library actually goes through with the changes they're planning, i'm going to fucking quit. I have put up with so much bullshit from corporate in the past year, but taking away planning our own programming from us is the biggest slap in the face I can imagine.

#I'm just so done #fettucciniposts

[dix-rose]

pov: I'm trying to calculate if I bomb this exam on friday will I actually combust into a million pieces

#stupid shit #I want to stress that this is fine please don't ask me if I'm okay #I'm just so done #I wish I could just bomb it now and get it over with #and I'm not saying this in a oh teehee I'm sooooo dumb kinda way #I mean I might actually do bad on this test #my mom is like “you'll do fine manifest good things” #well mom I unfortunately cannot #because I actually have no idea what I'm doing in this one particular section #and it's probably because there are too many steps and if I cannot do it in three steps at most my brain simply refuses to do it #but I just. cannot figure it out #and I fucking hate graph on this specific website she uses #because it won't just let me put it in if that makes sense it wants me to use a slider #and I don't understand how to use it properly I guess because I obviously know WHERE it's supposed to go but can't slide the slider properl #and I'm tired of looking at math #and I hate that I have to be doing this in a degree that doesn't need math #AND THE WORST PART ABOUT THIS TEST IS THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO ON CAMPUS TO TAKE IT #I HATE THAT #I have a particular system that I have when taking tests #I have noise I have my specific chair I HAVE A SYSTEM #but noooo I have to go on campus for it even though it's a fucking ONLINE CLASS #anyway I hope this is just me being tired and overwhelmed and I'll figure it out tomorrow or something

[deetherusalka]

UGH fucking adulting

#why is nothing working #why is everything just obstacle upon obstacle #I'm not giving up I'm just complaining #I'm just so done #I'm

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

#fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #fandom things #tumblr things #i may have said this at some point #i'm sure i have #but whatever - just in case #i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics #but just if anyone is so inclined that's all #ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog #i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting #but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen #not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy #at least of fics bc i save everything #not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about #that i've made or done and only posted here #anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today #i have plans to stare into the void now

[dragonbornette]

It's my fault for being proud and telling people. That's what happens when I do that, you know. I tell people I've lost 25 pounds, i'm 5 to 8 pounds away from a huge landmark, and my body stalls at the same weight for close to three weeks. I am ready to give up.

I got excited that we might have finally found the source of my bladder problems, only for what was working to stop working. Because I told people, because I got excited.

Don't tell me that people aren't jinxes, that the universe just fucking hates people like me. I'm not allowed to be happy. I get punished every time I do. Not with little things that people can shrug off and say, "oh well", but to have the very thing you've been waiting on snatched away.

Every.

Fucking.

Time.

#i don't see myself coming back from this one #i'm done #i'm just so done

[that-stone-butch]

transphobic family members are one thing but it's so hard to deal with family that are convinced they're supportive but are bumbling, misinformed, or forgetful and will still misgender/deadname you nearly as frequently, but when you call them out or ask them to try harder all of a sudden you're the bad guy. i have heard some of the most fucked up shit from 'liberal' parents using the 'correct' terminology about trans people, where what they're actually saying is deeply fucked up. like my step mom excitedly telling me she saw 'an afab man' at the market and explaining how she could tell.

'i don't want to be in a room where i will be misgendered/deadnamed/deal with transphobia' applies even if it happens 'on accident' every single time you see someone. and it's a healthy boundary to set. but good g-d some people would rather kick and scream and cry than acknowledge that they're hurting you, even unintentionally.

#maybe this is just vent posting but g-d i'm so done with it