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ms-demeanor · 1 month

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Friends, I think we need to talk about Covid.

I want to get a few caveats out there before I start:

I am aware that there are people who need to exercise extreme caution about Covid; I live with someone who has two solid organ transplants and who is at the most immune compromised level of immune compromised. *I* have to be extremely cautious about covid.

Masking does prevent a certain level of transmission, and people who think they may have covid should mask and people who are concerned that they may be at high risk for covid should mask.

You should be vaccinated and boosted with the most recent vaccines that are available to you; covid is highly transmissible and very serious, you do not want to get covid and if you do get covid you don't want it to be severe and if you do get covid you don't want to give someone else covid and up-to-date vaccinations are the best way to reduce transmission and help to prevent severe cases of Covid.

We should be testing before going to any gatherings, and informing people if we test positive after gatherings, and testing if we suspect we have been exposed.

It is bullshit that there aren't good protections for workers who have covid; you should not be expected to go to work when you are testing positive

It is bullshit that people who are testing positive are not isolating for other reasons; if you have Covid you should not be going out and exposing other people to it even if you are experiencing mild symptoms or no symptoms.

We do need better ventilation systems for many kinds of spaces. Schools need better ventilation, restaurants need better ventilation, doctor's offices and hospitals and office buildings need better ventilation and better ventilation can reduce covid transmission.

I want to make it clear that Covid is real and there are real steps that individuals and systems can take to prevent transmission, and that there are systems that are exerting pressures that needlessly expose people to covid (the fact that you can lose your job if you don't come in when you're testing positive, mainly; also the fact that covid rapid tests should be ubiquitous and cheap/free and are not).

All of that being said: I'm seeing some posts circulating about how we're at an extremely high level of transmission and the REAL pandemic is being hidden from us and, friends, I'm pretty sure that is just incorrect and we're spreading misinformation.

I'm thinking of this video in particular, in which the claim is made that "your mystery illness is covid" in spite of negative tests. The guy in the video says that there's nothing else that millions of people could be getting a day, and that he predicted this because a wastewater spike in December meant that there was a huge spike in cases.

I've also seen people saying that deaths are where they were in 2021-2022, and that we're still at "a 9/11 a week" of excess deaths and friends, I'm not seeing great evidence for any of these claims.

I know that we (in the US, which is where the numbers I'm going to be citing are from) feel abandoned by the CDC and the fact that tracking cut off in May of 2023. But that only cut off for the federal tracking.

I live in LA county and LA county sure as shit is still tracking Covid.

If you want a clearer picture, you can see the daily case count over time compared to the daily death count:

Okay, you might say, but that's just LA.

Alright, so here's Detroit:

Right, but maybe that's CDC data and you don't trust the CDC at this point.

Okay, here's fatalities in New York tracked through New York's state data collection:

It's harder to toggle around the site for South Dakota, but you can compare their cases and hospitalizations and deaths for early 2022

To cases and hospitalizations and deaths from early 2024

And see that there's really no comparison.

Okay, you might say, but people are testing less. If they're testing less of course we're not seeing spikes, and they're testing less because fewer tests are available.

Alright, people are definitely testing less than they were in 2021 and 2022. Hospitalization for Covid is probably the most clear metric because you know those people have covid for sure, the couldn't not test for it.

Here are hospitalizations over time for LA:

Here are hospitalizations over time for New York:

As vaccination rates have gone up, cases, deaths, and hospitalizations have gone down. It IS clear that there are case spikes in the winter, when it is cold and people are indoors in poorly ventilated spaces and people are more susceptible to respiratory infections as a result of cold air weakening the protection offered by our mucous membranes, and that is something that we will have to take precautions about for the forseeable future, just as we should have always been taking similar precautions during flu season.

So I want to go point-by-point through some of the arguments made in that video because I'm seeing a bunch of people talking about how "THEY" don't want you to know about the virus surge and buds that is just straight up conspiracism.

So okay, first off, most of what that video is based on is spikes in wastewater data, not spikes in cases. This is because people don't trust CDC data on cases, but I'd say to maybe check out your regional data on cases. I don't actually trust the CDC that much, but I know people who do tracking of hospitalizations in LA county, I trust them a lot more. Wastewater data does correlate with increases in cases, but this "second largest spike of the entire pandemic" thing is misleading; wastewater reporting is pretty highly variable and you can't just accept that a large spike in covid in wastewater means that we're in just as bad a place in the pandemic as we were in 2022. We simply have not seen the surge of hospitalizations and deaths that we would expect to see in the weeks following that spike in wastewater data if wastewater data was reflective of community transmission.

The next claim is that "there is nothing else that is infecting millions of people a day" and covid isn't doing that either. The highest daily case rates were in January of 2021 and they were in the 865k a day range, which is ridiculously high but isn't millions of cases a day.

But what we can see is that when people are tested by their doctors for Covid, RSV, and the Flu, more tests are coming back positive for the Flu. Covid causes more hospitalizations than the other two illnesses, but to be honest what the people in the video are describing - lightheadedness, dizziness, exhaustion - just sound like pretty standard symptoms of everything from covid to the cold to allergies. There are lots of things your mystery illness could be.

The video goes on to talk about the fact that people aren't testing, and why their tests may be coming back negative and I'd like to point out that the same things are all true of Flu or RSV tests. People might be getting tested too early or too late; getting a negative test for the flu isn't a good reason to assume you've got covid, getting a negative test for covid isn't a good reason to assume you've got the flu, and testing for viruses as a whole is imperfect. There are hundreds of viruses that could be the common cold; there are multiple viruses that can cause bronchitis; there are multiple viruses that can cause pneumonia, and you're not going to test for all of these things the moment you start feeling sick.

He then recommends testing for multiple days if you have symptoms and haven't had a positive test (fine) and talks about the location of the tests (less fine). Don't use your rapid tests to swab your throat or cheek unless it specifically says that they are designed to do so. Test based on the instructions in the packet.

He points out that the tests probably still pick up on the virus because they're not testing for the spike protein, they're testing for the RNA (good info!)

The video then discusses something that I think is really key to this paranoia about the "mystery illnesses" - he talks about how covid changes and weakens your immune system (a statement that should come with many caveats about severity and vulnerability and that we are still researching that) and then says that it makes you more susceptible to strep or mono and that "things that used to clear in a day or two now hit you really hard."

And that's where I think this anxiety is coming from.

Strep throat lasts anywhere from three days to a week. A cold takes about a week to clear. The flu lasts about a week and can knock you on your ass with exhaustion for weeks depending on how bad you get it. Did you get a cough with your cold? Expect that to take anywhere from three to eight weeks to clear up.

I think that people are thinking "i got a bad virus and felt really sick for a week and haven't gotten my energy back" but that just sounds like a bad cold. That sounds like a potent allergy attack. That doesn't even sound like a bad flu (I got a bad flu in 2009 and thought i was going to straight-up die I had a fever of 103+ for three days and felt like shit for three days on either side of that and took six weeks to feel more like myself again).

Getting sick sucks. It really, really sucks. But if you're getting sick and you're testing for covid and it's coming back negative after you tested a few times, it's almost certainly not covid.

The video then says "until someone provides evidence that it's not covid, it should be assumed to be covid because we have record levels of covid it's that simple" but that's not simple. We don't have record levels of covid and he hasn't proved it. We have record high levels of wastewater reports of covid, which correlates with covid cases but the spike in wastewater noted in december didn't see a spike with a corresponding magnitude of cases in terms of either hospitalizations or deaths, which is what we'd have seen if we had actual record numbers of covid.

He says that if you want to ignore this, you'll get sick with covid, and that about 30-40% of the US just got sick with covid in the last four months (which is a RIDICULOUSLY unevidenced claim).

He says that we need to create a new normal that takes covid into account, which means masking more often and testing more often and making choices about risk-avoidant behaviors.

Now, I don't disagree with that last statement, but he prefaces the statement with "it doesn't necessarily mean lockdown" and that's where I think the alarmism and paranoia is really visible here. We are so, so far away from "lockdown" type levels that it's absurd to discuss lockdown here.

What I'm seeing right now is people who are chronically ill, people who are immune compromised, and people who are experiencing long covid (which may not be distinct from other post-viral syndromes from severe cases of flu, etc, but which may be more severe or more notable because of the prevalence of covid) are talking about feeling abandoned and attacked and left behind by society because covid is still out there, and still at extremely high levels.

I am seeing people who feel abandoned and attacked because the lgbtq+ events they are attending don't require masking. I am seeing people who are claiming that it is eugenicist that their schools don't have a negative test policy anymore.

And this comes together into two really disconcerting trends that I've been observing online for a while.

The claim that the pandemic is still as bad as it's ever been and in fact may be worse but we can't know that because "they" (the CDC, the government, capitalist institutions that want you back in the office, the university industrial complex that wants your dorm room dollars) are covering up the numbers and

Significant grievance at the fact that people are acting like number one is not true and are putting you at risk either out of thoughtlessness (because they don't realize they're putting you at risk) or malice (because they don't care if the sick die).

And those things are a recipe for disaster.

I think I've pretty robustly addressed point one; I don't think that there's good evidence that there's a secretly awful surge of covid that nobody is talking about. I think that there are some people who are being alarmist about covid who are basing all of their concern on wastewater numbers that have not held up as the harbinger of a massive wave of infections.

So let's talk about point number two and JK Rowling.

Barnes and Noble is not attacking you when it puts up a Hogwarts Castle display in the lobby. Your favorite youtuber isn't trying to hurt you when they offhandedly mention Harry Potter.

If you let every mention of Harry Potter or every person who enjoys that media franchise wound you, you are going to spend a lot of your time wounded.

People are not liking Harry Potter at you.

Okay.

People are also not not wearing masks at you.

You may be part of a minority group that experiences the potential for outsized harm as a result of majority groups engaging in perfectly reasonable behaviors.

There are kind, well-meaning, sensible people who go out every day and do something that may cause you harm and it's not because they want to hurt you or they don't care about whether you live or die, it is because they are making their own risk assessments based on their own lives and making the very reasonable assumption that people who are more concerned about covid than they are will take precautions to keep themselves safe.

We are not at a place in the pandemic where it is sensible to expect people with no symptoms of illness to mask in public as a matter of course or to present evidence of a recent negative test when entering a public building in their day-to-day life.

I think now is a really good time to sit down and ask yourself how you expect things to be with covid as an endemic part of our viral ecosystem. I think now is a good time to ask yourself what risk realistically looks like for you and for people who are unlike you. I think now is a good time to consider what would feel "safe" for you and how you could accomplish feeling safe as you navigate the world.

I'm probably going to continue masking in most indoor spaces for years. Maybe forever. There are accommodations that SHOULD be afforded to people who have to take more precautions than others (remote learning, remote visits, remote work, etc.), and we should demand those kinds of accommodations.

But it is going to poison you from the inside out if you are perpetually angry that people who don't have the same medical limitations as you are happy that they get to go shopping with their faces uncovered.

So now I want to talk to you about my father in law.

My father in law had a bone marrow transplant in 2015. That's the most immune compromised you can get without having your organs swapped out.

The care sheet for him after the transplant was a little overwhelming. The list of foods he couldn't eat was intimidating and the limitations on where he could go was depressing. It cautioned against going to large events, it recommended outdoor gatherings where possible but only if he could avoid sunlight and was somewhere with no history of valley fever. It said that he should wear masks indoors any time he was someplace with poor ventilation and that he should avoid contact with anyone who had an illness of any kind, taking special note to avoid children and anyone recently vaccinated for measles.

It was, in short, pretty much what someone immune compromised would need to do to try to avoid a viral infection. Sensible. Reasonable. Wash your hands and social distance; wear masks in sensitive contexts and don't spend time in enclosed places with people who have a communicable illness.

This is what life was always going to be like for people who are severely immune compromised, and it was always going to be incumbent upon the person with the illness to figure out how to operate in a society that is not built with them in mind.

It is not the job of every parent I encounter to tell me whether their child has been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months. That isn't something that people need to do as part of their everyday life. However it IS my responsibility to check with the parents I'm hanging out with whether their children have been vaccinated against measles or chicken pox in the last three months so I know if it's safe for my immune compromised spouse to be around them.

If you want an environment in which you feel safe from covid, at this point in the pandemic (when the virus is endemic and not spreading rapidly as far as we can see from case counts) it is your responsibility to take the steps necessary to make you feel safe. Some of those steps will involve advocating for safety improvements in public spaces (again, indoor ventilation needs to be better and I'm personally pretty extreme about vaccination requirements; these are things we should be discussing in our school board meetings and at our workplaces), some of those steps will involve advocating for worker protections, guaranteed sick time, and the right to healthcare. But some of the things you're going to need to do to feel safe are going to come down to you.

If you are concerned about communicable diseases you have to be realistic about the fact that our society doesn't go out of its way to prevent communicable diseases - norovirus among food service workers pre-pandemic is pretty clear evidence of that. You are going to have to be proactive about your safety rather than expecting the world to act like Covid is at 2021-2022 levels when it is measurably not.

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bet-on-me-13 · 2 months

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Ghost Zone Breakout Au

So! Danny is missing. Maybe it's a Vivisection AU and he ran away, maybe he got trapped by one of his Rogues, either way, Danny is gone and his Rogues are free to spread across the planet.

Walker in particular has an interesting adventure.

After Danny trashed his Prison and broke Wulf out, people realized that it wasn't as impenetrable as he made it out to be. And what's an army of Immortal Criminals to do when given all the time in the world? They test each and every method they can to break in or to escape.

Danny's actions caused a Domino Effect that lead to Walkers Prison being torn apart from both the inside and the outside. He lost his Territory, his Power, and most of his Guards. So he decided to start again in the Mortal Realm.

And he found the perfect New Haunt.

Arkham.

He's never seen such a sorry Prison in his AfterLife (It's an asylum). Criminals breaking in and out every other week, no prisoner staying for longer than a month at most, and nobody is doing anything to fix it.

He needs to remedy this.

So one night, he and his Army of Ghostly Guards attack the Prison. They Overshadow whatever guards are on Duty, take control of the Prison Systems, and Initiate a Total Lockdown.

Walker then sends out a Message.

"People of the Mortal Realm. I an Warden Walker, the new Head of this here little Prison. We have seen how terrible this sorry excuse for a prison is, and decided to take it upon ourselves to fix it. From now on, we will be the Guards of this Arkham. Send your prisoners here, and they will stay here. Try to break in, and you will never leave. Try to force us out, and you will join our undead Ranks. This is not a Negotiation, this is not a Request, this is an Announcement. If you have a problem with this, then I will be happy for personally meet you. I am in need of new employees after all."

After this message, many tried to stop him, but none were successful. He didn't seem to understand that a Prison is meant to hold Prisoners for a determined amount of Time, not forever. Or that it wasn't a Prison in the first place, it was an Asylum to treat the mentally ill.

The Bats could do anything either. Any time they tried to take back the prison, they were beaten back by the Possessed Guards and Ghostly Guards patrolling the grounds. And they didn't want to hurt the Hostages.

They needed a solution, so they got to digging.

Apparently they weren't the only ones who were dealing with Ghost Related Issues. All across the world, powerful Ghosts were claiming large areas of land as their new Haunts, weaker Ghosts were running Rampant in the spaces in between, and JLD was being run ragged as they tried to help wherever they could.

It was a worldwide issue, and they needed to find the Cause.

After a lengthy investigation, they found that all the Ghosts originally came from one Place. A small town in Illinois where they had been trying to break into the Mortal Realm for years, but they had been stopped by another. A Ghost who protected the Mortal Realm from the powerful Spirits of the Dead.

If they had any hope of containing this threat, they needed his help. They needed to find Phantom.

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Ghost Zone Breakout AU #Danny is missing #Idk where he is yet #Walker took over Arkham #After Danny proved that his prison was fallible they Ghosts of the Zone ripped it apart like piranhas #He lost his Haunt and needed a replacement #Walker isn't the only one #I'm hoping to make more of these later with the other Rogues #Ideas?

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bucketsofmonsters · 2 years

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In the Name of Science

cw: voyeurism, mutual masturbation, vaginal penetration, non human genitalia, knotting, size difference, fainting, chronic illness, implied animal death, medical abuse of the monsters

male werewolf x afab reader

word count: 9k

“Have you lost it? Absolutely not!” You snapped at the three scientists in front of you, the anger evident in your voice.

“You will have complete privacy and it’s not like we’re asking you to sleep with him…”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Yeah, I certainly hope not! This is so absurd, I cannot believe you’re asking me this.”

You went to storm out of the room when one of the scientists who had sat you down to very gently talk to you grabbed your arm. “Listen, you are the only one he responds to. We wouldn’t ask you this if there was any other way to do it, if we want to study his reproductive system...”

“No! It’s invasive and weird and I’m not doing it! You put him through enough as it is.”

That seemed to spark their interest. “Hold on, are you saying no for his comfort or yours?”

That was a question you weren’t prepared to get into, at least not with three scientists. “It doesn’t matter. Anyways, I have shit to do, can I go now?”

They didn’t want to drop the matter but you were clearly not changing your mind so they let you storm out and go about your day.

You weren’t a scientist. Your job leaned closer to zoo keeper. Someone had to take care of all the monsters that were being studied here and the scientists certainly weren’t doing it.

They weren’t entirely wrong. Most of the creatures here responded better to you than anyone else but in all fairness, you were the one who was feeding them and talking to them, everyone else they saw on a regular basis spent most of their time poking at them and doing tests on them, of course they liked you the most.

With many of your monsters you were friends. You had developed truces of varying strengths with most of them and at the very least, you attempted to understand them. That’s more than most of the people who worked here could say.

They were all sentient, most to human levels, they deserved more respect than just being experiments and you seemed the only one inclined to give them that level of dignity.

Sometimes subjects would mysteriously drop off of your roster, nowhere to be seen. A few weeks later their room would be filled once more. You always prayed they couldn't sense that they weren't the first to live there, that creatures here didn't tend to have particularly long shelf lives. They were going through enough without that fear in them. The most you could do was give them all the dignity and companionship you could. You tried not to think about it too much but it haunted you all the same.

You had a favorite. Everyone knew it, him included. All he had was a number, subject 251. You would never call him that, call any of the subjects by their numbers. You opted instead for pet names and terms of endearment, which none of them seemed to mind.

This one in particular, subject 251, had taken a clear interest in you. That was how they saw it, a sudden and unexplainable attachment to you. You could have told them otherwise if they ever bothered to ask. But that was most of the problem you supposed, they never did.

He’d been an issue when you’d first arrived, the one monster you were warned about over and over again. ‘Be careful with 251.’ The idea of letting anyone get near him was so far from anyone’s minds. You were the newbie so you were given him on your roster.

You understood it. You too would be difficult if you were imprisoned and studied.

You’d given him what you could in terms of privacy and respect. You never tried to push, gave him as much autonomy as you were able to, despite him being a prisoner here. You spoke to him like a person, not an inconvenience or a rabid animal.

Most importantly, when he got angry or lashed out, none of that changed. Human decency was never something he had to earn, no matter how many times he threatened to slash your throat open.

Eventually, he started to talk back. At first you just thought it was because he was lonely, of course he would be when he was stuck in a room by himself, day in and day out. But after a while, it became clear that it wasn’t conversation just for the sake of it.

When more newbies came you refused to give him up, making as much space for him in your day as you could. You knew that he noticed the way you were staying longer and longer but he never called you on it. In fact, one day he asked you to stay.

After that you were inseparable. His attitude hadn’t shifted with anyone else but with you he was perfect. That became a bargaining chip, both of you swearing he’d behave better if you were allowed to give him his food in person, if you were allowed to stay longer, if he could have some little things to make his life easier.

The two of you had formed an alliance and more importantly, a friendship.

A few months ago you’d taken a vacation for a week and had been immediately called back because he’d become unmanageable. From what you’d heard, he almost ripped his temporary handler in half and managed to get halfway out of the facility before they were able to neutralize him.

When you came back you tried to explain to him that he couldn’t be doing this, that sometimes you might leave for a while and he needed to not massacre the staff. He was virulently against it, telling you he needed to keep his eye on you, to make sure you were okay.

No amount of reassurance stopped this instinct and just like that, you became vital personel. In his frenzy to get you back he gave you something else, job security.

That was why you could tell those scientist in no unclear terms to go fuck themseleves. But then again, your relationship with him was the reason they asked you about it at all.

You shook your head, trying to forget your discussion with them. You were glad you were there to shut them down, to be able to provide even a modicum of privacy to at least one of your creatures.

As you pushed the interaction out of your mind in favor of starting your day, you noticed someone you’d never seen before. She was a new keeper, one like yourself. You’d asked to be able to vet new employees but you’d been denied. Despite becoming vital personel, they still didn’t take you seriously.

She seemed nervous but in all fairness to her, it was probably her first day. Most people were a little on edge on the first day on any job, let alone one where you were caring for restless, angry creatures that could kill you in a heartbeat.

You gave her a wave before you picked up the big, metal box off the table, shifting it towards the metal door it was destined for.

“Hiya, what’s your name?” you called as you heaved the box over. Surely there was a less heavy mechanism you could use to deliver dinner, you’d have to pester the scientists about that when you got the chance. Everything in solid metal seemed like a great idea when you were planning but they didn’t have the carry the things.

“Sam,” she said, hurrying over to help you carry the box the last couple of feet before you both dropped it on the floor.

The second it touched the ground, something from inside rammed into the door, sending a crash echoing through the hall. As soon as Sam heard the noise she screamed and went running.

She wouldn’t last a week. The easily spooked ones never did.

This was why you wanted to help with finding new keepers. They never prepared them right, never asked the right questions. People got in with promises that they loved animals and that they were ever so caring as if that was in any way relevant.

What you really needed was to be good with people, really weird nonhuman people, and be very good at conflict resolution. You weren’t caring for lions and zebras, these were intelligent, terrifying creatures. It was hard to know exactly what kind of person would thrive here but it was easy to tell who wouldn’t be able to last.

You banged back on the door as you turned from the hallway Sam had gone running down. “Behave or you're not getting lunch,” you called through the wall and you hoped they’d understand.

You slid the metal box right up to the hatch at the bottom of the door, hooking them together so the room was still airtight, and slid the door of the trap upwards.

The faint sound of a bunny hopping across metal floors hit your ears and you shut both panels, unhooking the box and carrying it away as the creature was left to hunt.

That was mainly what you did, feed them with no contact allowed. They wouldn’t let you inside most of their rooms, you had to fight for the few that you did get to see. For most, you were lucky if you got to see them through a window.

Your favorite part of the day came last. It didn't previously but you’d had to push it to the end of the day lately because you were never sure when you’d be able to leave. He always tried to convince you to stay just a little longer and you rarely had the heart to shut him down, at least not the first time he asked.

Eventually you did always have to leave. You couldn’t stay in the sterile, white room lined with metal forever.

Before the decontamination chamber, there was a big observation room you had to pass through with a window facing into his cell and you could never quite help the massive smile that plastered itself across your face every day when you first laid eyes on him through the glass.

All of the blankets and pillows they’d given him were scrunched up in the corner, a little pile he was often laying on when you came in. Not today though. Today he was waiting by the door and as soon as he spotted you through that window his tail began to wag furiously.

You couldn’t help but giggle, eagerly running through the decontamination room so you could see him.

When you first laid eyes on him on your very first shift, you’d thought he was a werewolf. Most of the creatures here were hard to understand but a few were familiar concepts, things you’d seen the likes of before in movies.

The scientists had scoffed at you, told you he was nothing like a werewolf, he didn’t even have a human form. You still thought the comparison was apt.

He was undeniably wolf-like, covered in silver fur, with pointy ears and a muzzle and a big fluffy tail. There was something undeniably human about him too. He stood on two legs and spoke like a person and there was something in his eyes that felt so familiar.

“Hey buddy, how’re you doing?” you asked as you entered the room and were finally able to properly set eyes on that familiar face.

He couldn’t get too close. You both knew he couldn't or, despite the massive fit he would inevitably throw, they wouldn’t let you come back. You could see him holding himself back every time you came near him, clearly wanting to smother you in affection.

He responded quickly, eager to check in with you. “I’m fine. How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

No matter how many times you told him that you were fine he was always worried.

You brushed him off with a gentle, “I’m alright, like I always am,” while carrying his dinner in.

He mostly ate meat, although he was alright with not eating live animals, unlike many of the other creatures here. That was why you’d been allowed in here at all. No matter how well they got along with you, you were never allowed in the room with any of the active hunters.

It was probably for the best. At least that way they wouldn’t bond with you the way this one had.

You dropped the tray of raw steaks near his pile of blankets, his eyes tracking you as you moved. His head lifted and he sniffed the air.

“Still gotta take care of the others, bud,” you said, preempting the inevitable comment you knew he was going to make about your scent.

He grumbled. You knew he didn’t like it, them getting near you, the way he could smell the others on you, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. No matter how many times you decontaminated yourself, he always seemed to be able to smell it.

He dropped the issue, though you could tell he didn’t want to. Instead, his head fell to the side and he asked, “Are you upset about something?”

You were never sure how he managed to read you so well. He kept telling you it was because you were bonded but you weren’t certain what that meant. He didn’t seem capable of explaining it to you. The concept was just second nature to him and you couldn’t ask any of the scientists about it. Perhaps more accurately, you wouldn’t ask the scientists about it. You weren’t sure if they knew themselves and you’d die before giving them any more information than they already had.

“Did my scent tell you that?” you asked with a smile, trying to brush past it.

He was undeterred. “Did they do something to you?”

You waved off his concerns. “No, don’t worry about it, they just wanted me to do something weird and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What?”

You had no clue how to explain it to him.

You attempted to put it as tactfully as you possibly could. “They wanted me to… stimulate you. Just visually, I think, from the observation room. They want to study your reproductive system and they think that’s the best way to go about it for whatever reason. It’s super weird, I obviously said no so you don’t need to worry about it.”

“Stimulate me?”

“Like, touch myself or something. I don’t know, I didn’t give them the time of day so I’m a little foggy on the details. Not that it matters, it’s creepy either way.”

“They made you uncomfortable?” You could see him getting angrier.

“No! I meant creepy towards you! It’s invasive. I wouldn’t mind but I’m not the one being observed and documented.” That came out wrong. “Not that I wouldn’t mind!” you quickly added defensively. “That’s not what I meant! Just that I’m not the one who should be made uncomfortable by all this, you know?”

He seemed confused by your words, trying to parse their meaning. You couldn’t blame him, you’d turned into a bit of a mess for a while there. After a long deliberation he finally responded, “I don’t mind either.”

“What?”

“I’m observed either way, this way I get to see you.”

He’d always been direct but this was a bit much, even for him. “Are you saying you want me to do it?”

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“Not really.” Feeling a little shy right now, maybe, but you certainly weren’t uncomfortable.

“Then I want you to do it.”

You weren’t sure what to make of that. You had his permission now, so it was all on you. If you did do it, you certainly wouldn’t be doing it to help out the scientists. So why would you be doing it? Because he wanted you to? Or maybe you felt a tug towards saying yes for more selfish reasons.

“Your face is getting hot,” he noted, ever so helpful.

“Yup, that it is. Well, this has been a fun meeting, I will see you tomorrow bud.”

Now he was upset. “You just got here.”

“I’ll stay extra long tomorrow,” you promised. “I just got a headache and I need to go lie down for a while, I’ll see you later.”

You hadn’t completely been lying. You did have a headache, although that was more the norm these days.

You’d started to feel sick more and more frequently. You were convinced it was this place, with all the creatures and substances here that you knew little to nothing about. Being here so often couldn’t be good for you. You had no other explanation for why you felt so woozy all the time, why you couldn’t quite shake these headaches, why your legs sometimes just gave out on you.

Before you headed home and took a well earned painkiller, you stopped by one of the control rooms that always had a scientist or two milling around inside.

You poked your head in the door and just said, “I’ll do it,” not staying to witness the aftermath.

The next day you were a bundle of nerves. You probably looked like Sam had the day before. You felt like you were floating through your duties, thinking about the end of the day. That morning you’d been pulled aside by the same three scientists and told that today you’d have to slide subject 251’s meal under the door and then you were to stimulate him as best you could from behind the glass.

They’d reassured you dozens of times that there would be no record of your activities. Subject 251 got no such reassurances.

He lit up as he usually did the second he saw you but instead of decontaminating yourself and stepping inside, you slid the plate under the door.

“I can’t come in today,” you said as you walked up to the window, cursing the upset written all over his face.

“Why?” He searched your face, trying to understand. It didn’t take long before it clicked. “Oh. I won’t get near you, I know I’m not allowed to. Or hurt you, if that’s what they’re worried about.”

“I know you won’t, they just don’t trust you when your hormone levels are high. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“So you decided to do it?”

“As long as you're alright with it, I couldn’t see why not.”

You probably should have. Somewhere in you you were aware that most people would see why not, that this would be an insane decision. But the only barrier in your way had been his comfort and he seemed more than comfortable with the idea.

As much as you knew he was the one being investigated, you could help but feel like you were being studied under his unblinking gaze. His eyes refused to move anywhere else, content to just stare at you through the glass as you tried to figure out how to proceed.

You were the one to break the silence. “I’m not really sure how to do this, there isn’t exactly a manual for this sort of thing.”

“What do they want your goal to be?” he prompted you.

“To arouse you.” Those three words were the gist of it, despite the lengthy, boring mission statements you’d been given that morning.

“And what is your goal?”

That one was harder to answer. Maybe you should start writing mission statements for yourself as well. “I’m not sure.”

“But you’re here.”

And so you were.

“What do you want me to do?” Your chest felt tight as you asked, like you couldn’t quite manage to get enough oxygen. You’d meant the question genuinely but it felt like it came out sounding suggestive.

“Can I see you?”

You understood what he meant but you paused anyways. You didn’t know what you were waiting for, you’d made your decision the second you said you’d be here and yet, you still hesitated.

You checked the room for cameras again, making sure there were none. You knew there weren’t any and it honestly felt like you were stalling, trying to give yourself more time to think. Not that you could think properly right now.

He didn’t have the same luxury of knowing that he wasn’t being watched. The cameras pointed away from the window, positioned tactically so they didn’t look through but he was being fully captured, no matter where he stood.

Once you’d taken your moment and given yourself time to think that you hadn’t used, there was nothing left to do. As you started to get undressed, you rushed to take your clothes off. Anything slower felt like teasing and that was the last thing you wanted. You looked back to him when you’d finished pulling them off, not sure what for. You know exactly what he wanted to see next but you wanted to hear him say it.

His eyes roamed over you, they couldn’t seem to get enough, darting across your body.

You felt incredibly warm, despite your lack of clothes and the cold environment.

He was much closer to the glass now, practically pressed against it. You could tell exactly how slow and belabored his breathing was as it fogged the glass in front of you. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at the sight, him peering through the newly frosted glass.

His head cocked to the side at the sound. “Are you having fun torturing me?” he asked, his tone playful.

“I’m not torturing you,” you insisted. “You’re the one who wanted me to do this.”

“I said I want to see you.”

You hopped up on a chair, spreading your legs for him as you did. You knew he could see exactly how wet you were.

It was almost embarrassing, all you'd done was strip for him and you were already soaking.

Your onlooker didn’t seem to agree with that assessment, instead pressing up even closer to the glass, pawing at it.

You’d believed him when he said that if you were in there with him he wouldn’t touch you but you didn’t appreciate until now just how hard that probably would have been for him. Maybe the window separating you was a small mercy, although it certainly didn’t feel like that as you dipped your hand slowly down, becoming more comfortable with putting on a show for him, until you reached your center and pressed your fingers inside yourself.

You could see his nostrils flaring, wanting to be able to smell you but unable to.

The tip of his cock poked through his fur. That’s what they’d wanted to see, you supposed the scientists would be pleased.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of it, couldn’t stop imagining it inside you, how strong he was, how effortlessly he could pick you up and thrust inside you, how he’d fill you up so completely. You couldn’t even see the whole thing, much of it hidden within his thick fur, but you could tell it was big.

He wasn’t even touching himself, just staring at you, watching how your lips fell open and your forehead creased when you rubbed over your clit, listening to the little noises you let out despite your attempts to be quiet. You wanted nothing more than to go to him.

“I need to touch you,” he whined, sharing your sentiment.

“We can't, this is all we get.”

He huffed as he fell back, bucking forwards into the air against nothing, his desperation clear. You should be in there, helping him, but instead you were getting off watching him rutt into nothing

“This was a bad idea,” you said, your motions slowing as guilt washed over you.

“Don’t leave,” he pleaded. “Need you, just stay.”

His hand wrapped around his dick and you sped up your motions, set on at least putting on a good show for him.

He was rutting desperately into his hand, his eyes never leaving you. You thrust three fingers inside of yourself and still it didn’t feel like enough.

You were sure he felt much the same way and yet you could see him getting closer to his release.

You watched, entranced, as he came. Thick ropes of cum shot out of him all over the wall and the glass in front of him, his hand still tight around his cock.

As soon as he came you stopped, your fingers pulling out, refusing to come, like some sort of self inflicted punishment. He pushed up against the glass once more as you stopped but there was nothing he could do.

With no better options, you wiped your fingers as best you could on your clothes as you pulled them back on, promising yourself you’d wash them as soon as you left.

You rushed out before you had the chance to talk and regretted the decision the whole night. It had seemed like the easier option at the time, to not have to talk about it when all your conflicting feelings were swirling but now you just wished you’d gotten the chance to confirm that you hadn’t messed anything up.

The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough. You did your best to not rush through your duties, knowing exactly how costly a mistake could be in this place.

Finally, the time arrived and you were back in that observation room again. This time you mercifully were able to enter, no longer stuck behind that damn window.

He seemed as composed as ever and you got the feeling that he hadn’t been worrying the way you had. The thumping of his tail behind him gave away his excitement, as it always did, but you detected no signs of nervousness.

He studied you as you came in. “Something’s wrong,” he noted.

He always understood how you were feeling, he had some sort of sixth sense about it, but this time you were fairly certain that you weren’t difficult to read. You were sure you looked as worried as you felt. “Was it weird?” you asked, needing an answer as quickly as possible. “Please tell me I didn’t mess anything up between us.”

His head fell to the side. “Why would it be weird?”

“I don’t know, I think I feel like I helped them observe you.”

“They’re already observing me, why would it ruin our bond? Did you not want to?”

“No, just wanted to make sure I didn’t break anything.”

“You’re fine, we’re still intact.” He said it so plainly, like he was stating a fact.

It all seemed to come so easily to him, his biggest problem was being locked up in this place. Much of what he did seemed like it was based on instinct. There was less thinking required that way, it seemed nice.

He did, however, seem concerned about something. “You didn’t finish.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden change in topic. “That wasn’t really the point.”

“That’s always the point, making each other feel good. That’s what mates do.”

You mulled the word over in your head. Mates. Is that what he meant when he talked about your bond? Is that what you were? It didn’t feel right, like it couldn’t be a title that belonged to you. Surely you hadn’t earned that as you kept him here, trapped against his will.

“What does that mean to you? Being mates?” you asked.

You were afraid of giving intel to the scientists running this place but you wanted so badly to understand what that word meant to him, what you meant to him.

As he spoke you started to feel woozy and your ever-present headache worsened. You leaned on the wall beside you as you tried to focus on his words. He reached out his arm to help you before quickly withdrawing it, remembering that he wasn't allowed to touch you or he could lose you.

The dizziness got worse, despite your attempt to take some of the strain on your legs and you went to sit on the floor. You went down faster than you’d intended, your legs giving way underneath you as the headache overtook you and you hit the floor hard.

When you woke up, your back was pressed to the wall and you were sitting on top of some blankets. The pile of blankets in the corner of the room, to be more specific. You were fairly sure you’d passed out across the room and you couldn’t help but wonder how you’d gotten over here.

As you cracked your eyes open, you saw subject 251 standing over you defensively. The food you’d brought him was still sitting at the end of the makeshift bed, completely untouched. That was odd, he normally ate it right after you left. Although, you supposed, you hadn’t quite managed to leave yet. Nonetheless, it did feel like a significant chunk of time had passed.

“Hey,” you said, your voice low and wavering from your bout of unconsciousness. “You keeping me safe, big guy?”

A rumble came from deep in his throat as he continued to stand over you protectively.

“What time is it,” you asked, trying to gather your bearings.

“You’ve been out for a few hours,” he informed you. “They’ve been trying to get to you.”

Shit. Of course they had. You’d passed out next to what they considered to be one of their most dangerous creatures, of course they’d been trying to get to you, to get you out of there.

As you tried to get up with a groan, he settled down next to you, pulling you back towards the blankets. You didn't try to fight him, knowing you didn’t have the strength to get up right now. You needed rest more than anything.

You quickly realized as you felt his warm fur next to you that this was the first time the two of you had ever touched one another.

He’d always been good at following your rules, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of the scientists, and thus he’s always kept his distance, just as you’d informed him he had to.

But now, after you’d collapsed, vulnerable, in front of him, you appeared to have found his limit in regards to following the rules.

The beep of the intercom sounded and you heard a monotone voice fill the room. “We understand this is a delicate situation and we trust your instincts on the matter, if you need any kind of aid we have teams ready to go. Our first priority is your safety, do you have a way out of the enclosure?”

Your safety? After a moment it hit you what they were implying.

“Don’t worry about me,” you called out. “I’m fine. If anything's going to kill me it’s whatever this damn lab has done to me, not this guy.”

The intercom beeped off but you knew they were still listening.

His gaze immediately turned to you, his face questioning. “What did you say? Is being here killing you?” he asked, his voice soft and measured.

You’d avoided mentioning it for so long, not wanting to worry him, but now you didn’t really have a choice. “I don’t think this place is good for me bud. To be honest if it weren’t for you I probably would have left ages ago but I just can’t stomach the idea of leaving you here alone.”

His head cocked to the side. “It’s… hurting you?”

A wry chuckle escaped you. “Well, something certainly is. People don’t typically faint for no reason.”

“Why are you here if it hurts you?”

“I can’t leave you behind, it’d break my heart.”

“You’re hurt because of me.”

“No!” you immediately replied, refusing to let him blame himself. “That’s not it, I want to stay.”

“But it hurts?”

“But it hurts,” you conceded.

You couldn’t stand to look at those sad eyes, opting instead to shut yours and snuggle into his warm side. “Listen, we can talk about this some other time, okay? Right now I’m just going to enjoy this.”

He nuzzled right back into you, immediately giving in to your actions. “Little mate.” he purred, curling around you protectively.

You didn’t have the heart to correct him. And maybe it wasn’t just for his sake. Maybe now, curled up, feeling safe and warm, you wanted to pretend you really were his little mate too.

You woke up to the sound of the intercom going off once again.

“He called you his mate,” it stated. “This isn’t an ideal scenario but we don’t know much about mates and you’re already in there and anything you might do would be extremely advantageous to our research.”

You groaned in annoyance as you leaned back into your warm, living blanket. His ears perked up as he tried to understand what they were saying. He looked to you for clarification. You were often the translator between them, the scientists always speaking in stilted language and hidden meanings that many of your creatures had a hard time parsing.

“They want me to have sex with you,” you clarified and immediately he hunched further over you.

“I won't let them see my little mate like that, no. Absolutely not, no no no.” The mere idea immediately worked him into a little frenzy, leaving him muttering to himself as he tried to shield you from the cameras.

Your hand rose to caress his face and he leaned into your touch, calming down again. It didn’t take long before he fell back into place, curling around you once more.

Being able to touch you seemed to bring out a whole other side to him. You’d never seen him this affectionate or possessive, something seemed to have been set off in him that hadn’t been before.

Something had changed within you as well. The idea of having to return to the way things were before made you feel sick, you wanted to be able to hold him and comfort him like this all the time. Now you knew what you were missing as you stood away from each other, unable to get close.

Even breaking the rules as you were, it couldn’t last forever. Eventually you could no longer ignore your growling stomach and you convinced him that you needed to leave, that you’d be back tomorrow.

He told you not to come.

Your heartbreak barely had the chance to set in before he was quickly elaborating, telling you again and again that he didn’t want you to stay if it was hurting you.

You brushed him off, at least that time.

A few weeks later, it was your last day of work you’d ever attend. Ever since that day when you’d fainted and subject 251 had stood guard over you, he’d been insistent upon you leaving. It was quite a change from the norm, he went from being the reason you were guaranteed a job here, why you didn’t want to leave and go home in the evenings, to being the thing pushing you out. You could tell it was eating him alive, the thought that you staying was hurting you. He was obsessively insistent that you leave and get yourself to safety.

You’d never been good at saying no to that face.

So, after agonizing over the decision, awash with guilt, you turned in your two weeks notice.

You were selfish about it. You didn’t tell him for a while, wanting to pretend that everything was fine for just a bit longer.

You let it go on longer than you should have.

It was your last day here, the last time you’d ever see him, and he had no idea.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry, for his sake more than yours, but you kept finding yourself tearing up no matter how hard you tried.

As you opened the door to the observation room and headed through decontamination, your stomach dropped.

He wasn’t excited this time.

He didn’t say anything. He just looked down at you, not asking if something was wrong as you’d become so accustomed to him doing. He didn’t have to

You didn’t speak for fear of immediately bursting into tears and eventually he spoke for the both of you.

“You aren’t coming back.”

You buried your face in your hands, trying to make sure he didn’t see you like this. You wanted his last memory of you to be better than this, to give him something more solid to hold onto.

The best you could manage was poorly stifled tears.

All you wanted was to hug him. To lurch forwards and wrap your arms around him and never let go.

But you couldn’t. If you did, you weren’t the one who would be punished. You couldn’t do that to him.

You spent the rest of the day just sitting there, existing in one another’s presence. Trying to soak one another in before it was too late.

You didn’t speak. There was little to say that wasn’t understood between you. You finally got it, that last day. You felt the pull of his grief on the other end of your bond, something connecting you.

You weren’t sure if it was something undefinable and otherworldly or just complete understanding of one another but either way, it was real.

As you stood up to leave you searched for something, anything you could say to make all of this right.

“You know I love you, don’t you?” you asked. It was the most important thing in the world to you right now, you just needed to make sure.

“Of course I do.”

And then you left your mate behind.

Nothing felt real after that. You knew you couldn't stay there but the idea of there being an after hadn’t really occurred to you.

What were you supposed to do now? Just live knowing he was out there, alone? You couldn’t make sense of anything, the whole world seemed muted and suffocating.

An alarm blared suddenly overhead, making you jump. It wasn’t an uncommon experience. Most of the creatures here were difficult to hold, whether it was because of inhuman strength or an unusual viscosity or any other number of oddities they held. It wasn’t your problem anymore, you thought as you gathered your things, trying to get near an exit so as soon as the lockdown cut out you’d be able to leave.

You wanted to get home and wallow, to mourn the loss of this place, of your friend.

You were more careless than you should have been. Normally you were tactful and moved with intention but not this time, this time you just wanted to get out. That was your mistake.

Something massive and vaguely reptilian came smashing around the corner, immediately setting its sights on you. You could tell it was in a frenzy, that it was out for blood after breaking out of its hellscape of a prison.

You couldn’t blame it, even as it came barreling towards you to rip it in two. It wasn’t the creature's fault, you wouldn’t blame it.

It never made it all the way down the hallway. Instead its scaly feet came to a screeching halt as a wall of fur blocked its path, growling at the creature. It clearly didn’t want to test its luck and went barrelling down the hallway in the other direction, looking for easier prey to take out its wrath on.

Subject 251 turned and made eye contact with you, looking uncertain. He used to break out frequently, he’d taken out plenty of humans when he had, but since you’d formed your little truce he’d stayed put for you.

You wondered if his breakout this time had been because he could somehow sense you were in danger or because you were leaving and he no longer had anything to keep him where he was.

It didn’t matter. At the end of the day there he was, in front of you. You had a decision to make. One look at that big, eager face and you instantly knew it wouldn’t be a hard one.

You reached out towards him and he instantly came to you.

As many times as there were breakouts, the creatures rarely made it outside the facility but then again, they also rarely had the facility’s star employee at their side with nothing to lose.

“I think I can get you out, do you want to go?” Your words were frantic. You needed to move quickly if you wanted to have any chance to get out of there.

He didn’t even have to think about his response, nodding eagerly and trailing behind you the second you took off.

The alarms were still blaring overhead, screeching and causing your ears to ring. You knew exactly which doors would have the least guarding, especially in the middle of a breakout.

You knew all the override codes and quickly ushered him through doors that otherwise would have been deadlocked.

As you headed out the last doorway you ran straight into a scientist, one you’d seen in passing before.

He was clearly already panicked from the breakout, the sight of a massive werewolf standing behind you was probably not helping matters.

“You’re going to want to let us through,” you informed him.

Behind you, the monster that they’d kept imprisoned for so many years snarled and the man looked like he might drop dead from fear, quickly sidling up to the wall and getting as far out of your way as possible.

You’d never been so grateful that you lived a short walk from the lab. You had no idea how you would have gotten the two of you home if you’d needed to drive. Eventually it would prove to be a problem, when they inevitably came for him, but that was an issue for another day.

He ducked his head to get inside, taking in your home before quickly moving towards your bed and stripping it of all its blankets, instead opting to make a little nest out of them on your floor.

You couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You could give up your bed for a little while, he’d more than earned some comfort after everything he’d been put through.

Before you even realized what was happening, you were being pulled into the small pile of pillows and blankets beside him.

The warm comfort of him by your side was more than welcome. You’d been dreading the idea of coming home to a cold, lonely house all day, knowing you’d lost your best friend. Your mate.

Having him here was all you could ever ask for.

“They’re going to come after you, you know,” you informed him, the thought endlessly circling your mind, refusing to die down.

He seemed to misunderstand your concern for him as worry for your own safety as he pulled you into his side protectively. “I won’t let them get you.”

You quickly succumbed to the closeness, cuddling into him in the little nest. “As long as you don’t let them get you either.”

You felt a rumble run through his chest and you couldn’t tell if it was in acknowledgement of your words or if he was amused that you thought you even had to ask.

He started rearranging the blankets around you, making sure you were comfortable before fully setting in, manhandling you around as he sorted things out. Finally, as he settled, you ended up basically in his lap.

Then you felt his tongue lap over your shoulder, him readjusting you to best be able to lick you.

“What’re you doing?” you asked with a giggle, partly at the situation and partly because he was tickling you.

“Grooming you,” he said before getting back to work, his tongue slowly lapping over your arm.

You let him carry on with his work, trying your best not to focus on it. He was just trying to clean you, it wasn’t a big deal.

Still, the endless sensation of his tongue roving your body sent sparks of arousal through you.

You heard him sniff the air and your face immediately warmed, knowing you’d been caught.

“Couldn’t smell it through the glass,” he said, nose burying itself in your hair, as if he couldn’t get close enough to you and your scent.

“Couldn’t feel you through the glass either,” you murmured, pushing back into him.

He started slowly pulling your clothes off but the grooming didn’t cease. He needed more skin to skin contact, removing the inconvenient barriers in his way. He worked slowly, drawing this out as long as possible. You could only guess he was attempting to torture you. His tongue was pressed against your bare skin, roving leisurely across your newly exposed chest and stomach. You could feel his hardening dick start to poke into you but he just kept licking.

Eventually you grew impatient, your hand wandering down to grab his cock. It was hot and bigger than you thought it would be, its size disguised by his thick fur. He thrusted into your hand, a whine escaping him.

Your impatience proved to be a success as he wrapped his hands around your waist and lifted you. His hands almost completely encircled your midsection as he moved you effortlessly over his dick.

His claws were digging into your sides as he positioned you, looking to you for permission.

You nodded and you felt the tip of his dick press against you as he pushed you down onto it. He moved slowly, giving you time to adjust as he pressed into you, stretching you open.

Finally, you felt your thighs meet his fur, straddling his waist with his hands still wrapped around you.

He was everything your fingers could never be. You’d never felt so full and beautifully stretched in your life.

You attempted to ride him, lifting up as best you could, but he was too big, it was too difficult to do. It didn’t take long for him to pull you back down anyways, his hands never straying from your sides.

“It's my turn this time. And I promise you, this time you will come.”

He lifted you once more, thrusting you swiftly back down. You could see the bump it caused in your lower stomach when he thrusted all the way in. You barely had time to look at it before you were being lifted once more.

“Touch yourself,” he said, his movements never faltering.

You shifted to rub your clit as best you could as he pumped you up and down his shaft, using you like a toy. You had no control over the pace, being moved at his whim.

The loss of control was exhilarating. The sharp movements inside you touched places you hadn’t even known existed, places you’d never be able to reach on your own.

He was dead focused on you, intent on keeping his promise. Every time he did anything that drew a pleasured cry from you he’d chase after it, finding everything that made you tick.

“Let go for me, please,” he said, thrusting incessantly into you at the perfect angle, everything rapidly becoming overwhelming. Part of you wanted to stop touching yourself to lessen some of the all consuming stimulus but more of you wanted to be good for him, to do everything he asked.

You were too far gone to respond to his plea, your head thrown back as all the pent up energy that you’d been ignoring for so long was released. He pumped you up and down his shaft as you touched yourself, guiding you through your orgasm.

As you came down from your high, your eyes opened to meet his watching your face intently.

“Can you keep going?” he asked, holding you up so only the tip of his throbbing dick was inside you.

“Please, I need you, want you to come,” you begged.

He mercilessly thrusted you down again, now only concerned with his own pleasure. He chased his orgasm and you completely surrendered control, letting him move you as he pleased, do whatever he needed to in order to come.

“You’re so soft, so tight, so perfect.” He started rambling, sounding like he barely knew he was speaking. “Wanted this for so long, to touch you. Dreamed about this.”

“Me too,” you gasped out, his pace still relentless. “I wanted you so badly.”

His breaths were coming faster and faster and he quickly asked, “Where should I…”

You didn’t even let him finish. “Inside”

He buried himself fully inside and you could feel the base of it swelling just inside your entrance, holding you two together as he filled you. He whined and grunted and held you as close as he could as the sticky fluid flooded your insides

“You’re going to be stuck like this for a while,” he said as he came down, still cradling you close to him and almost sounding sheepish.

“Good, I like how you fill me up.”

The words pulled a soft, instinctual thrust from him and you both whined at how sensitive you were.

“Stop flirting,” he hissed into your hair, hands resting on your hips, keeping the both of you from moving.

“For now,” you conceded.

“Thank you,” he said, his hands roving over your form, claws lightly being drawn over your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake.

“For what?”

“For everything. For saving me.”

“The breakout was mostly you bud, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

His grip on you tightened, like he was afraid you’d slip through his fingers despite the fact that you were tied together and you couldn’t go anywhere even if you wanted to.

But of course you didn’t want to. If you had anything to say about it, you wouldn’t be leaving him for a long long time.

You didn’t know how you were going to move forwards, where you’d take him, how any of this would play out. Maybe they wouldn’t want to chase him down, it being a hazard to try and catch a creature that had been such an issue even when they were holding him in their specialized facility. Maybe it’d take years for them to give up. Maybe they’d never stop chasing him and you’d have to keep running and fighting for the rest of your lives. Maybe they’d catch you and all this work would have been for nothing.

But it wasn’t nothing, you thought, wrapped up in his arms in the little nest of blankets he’d built for you on your floor, no looming goodbyes or rules against touching, no more being alone. Whatever happened, it was already worth it.

#terato #terato writing #monster x reader #werewolf x reader #monster bf #monster boyfriend #monster x human #werewolf x human #werewolf boyfriend #werewolf bf #I almost made this angsty but I didn't have the heart for it #my writing is guaranteed happy endings bc I'm a big sap #I keep writing werewolves that are just like perma werewolves with no human form #and I always feel weird calling them werewolves but idk what else to call them lol #werewolf-adjacent monster

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ratskinsuit · 2 months

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Could u do a pegging lucifer fic? And the (dom gn) reader is being extra mean to him and just degrading the shit outa him, and he’s just kinda crying begging for praise

Fucked Dumb

A/N: feels like forever since I wrote a smut fic lol. Times flying byyyy, sorry i haven’t been good with request recently I’ve just been working on my Ocs (plz I have so many I need to stop) and school blah blah blah. Hope you enjoyed!

Tags: Also consent is not states here but it was stated before you two do have a system, Aftercare is slightly mentioned, smut, pegging, nsfw, begging, brain fuck, sub Lucifer x reader, lil bit of blood play? (I think- idk reader licks up some blood from his chin)

MDNI

——————————————————————— P-lease agh- ha ah.. ngh darling PLE-ase…” Lucifer sobs, tears streaming down his face as you slam into him. His breath heavy.

You have him on the edge of the bed, legs spread as your strap pounds in and out of him at a fast pace.

All day he was begging for you to touch him, knowing you were busy with some important work. He kept persisting, sitting in your lap, “hugging” you from behind as he sits against you. Walking around in stupidly tight clothes.

You breaking point however was at the end of the day, when he was testing you all through a work call you had. Running his fingers up and down your thighs, holding your hand, slowly inching it towards his hard on.

So as soon as the call ended you slammed him against the mattress, his face going red with surprise, having not expected it.

You tied his hands together and left him there to go get your strap. A couple minutes later your fucking his brains out while he’s sobs on hour dick. Bringing you to now.

“Oh no no no. You w-anted to be a little fucker all day, practically humping me every time you got close enough. So now take it bitch.” You hiss, a particularly hard thrust earning a wail from the ruined man under you.

Lucifer’s hands are tied together above his head with a pretty red ribbon. It’s tight enough to keep him from wiggling but not enough to cut his circulation.

His hair is sweaty, sticking to his forehead and jutting out everywhere. Sweat drips down his face. His eyes are rolled back, twitching and blown out. His eyebrows are scrunched together in concentration, going from relaxed to tense every other second.

His mouth is wide open, your almost convinced a fly will go into it. Drool is running down his chin, flying everywhere as moans and begging tumble out. What he’s begging for; I don’t think even he knows.

“Pl- darlin- agh hng…AH hA! Fu-uck Hng…” Lucifer lets out a wail as you hit a particular spot inside of him, causing the sheets he’s gripping to rip.

He’s sobbing, as you continue to mash up his insides. He shudders, letting out an in-human sound as he orgasms for the 5th time this night.

“That’s five fu-cking times this night whore… hah… fuck, god that’s just sad. I’ve only come once? Needy bitch.” You tease as he writhes and shakes the bed, his orgasm washing over him.

He’s already came so much tonight, but still has more, coating the two of you.

He sputters, begging for a break as he can’t make out sentences. You watch as the king of hell moans and cries beneath you.

The sheets are ripped up under his hands, eyes completely rolled back. You see a trail of blood leaking from his mouth, and lean forward, licking it up with a swipe of your tongue.

You lean to him, forcing him into a hot kiss, that he tries to reciprocate but all he does is tangle his tongue with yours and drool all over himself.

You let out a laugh as you speed up, Lucifer choking on his own spit under you. “Fu-ck your so dumb-fucked you can’t even kiss you properly.

As quick as it had ended he tenses and cums again on his own chest.

“Dar- AH fu-hng… ple- I can- n’t hm.. m’be… been s’ch a goo-agh- good boy… plea-SE” He pleads at you, desperate for some relief.

You decide to take pity on him, and finish yourself off. You know he can take degradation but sometimes when he’s so far into subspace he gets really upset if you do it go much.

“Du-ont worry honey, your doing amazing, give me one m-more okay darling? M-..I wanna c-cum to, is that okay pr..etty boy?” You coo at him, and he nods frantically as you speed up,

“can- m’ make.. you cu- OH.. plea- you c-cu..m”he tries speaking but fails and you just shush him, untying his hands quickly. As soon as the are free he grabs your hand with one and squeezes tightly, the other going to your waist.

He’s babbling by this point, words and curses stringing together in noncence sentences, while you praise and coo at him. “Doing g-great my love, handsome boy. Go-nana make me come so hard…since your doing so-o amazingly..” he whimpers, reaching for your face and you lean and kiss him.

Him, having just cum, and you having been edging up to it. The two of you reach your orgasm quickly. You are locked in a kiss right as it hits you both like a freight trains.

Lucifer falls back, twitching and shuddering violently with his mouth wide open in a silent scream. You shake with your and collapse on top of him as you relish in the aftershocks.

After a couple of seconds, you sit up and pull out of him, him whincing a bit.

You throw the strap off to the side and go to the edge of the bed by Lucifer head. You push his hair out of his face and soothe his burning skin.

“You did so great my love, are you okay?” You ask, Lucifer gives a little nod. “Mhm’ I… agh fuck, can’t hng… feel my legs…” you giggle and crawl in next to him.

Even though the two of you were very sweaty, you held him as he closed his eyes, the two of you embraced together. “M…love you..” he murmurs, and you give him a kiss.

———————————————————————

A/N: As said in my other post I will be busy for a while after this, not going on hiatus just slow updates. I just wanted to get this out because I had it halfway done. Hope you enjoyed!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

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kbandtrash · 3 months

Text

Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)

~Rachel~

@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help

Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.

Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with

Word Count: 11.5k

Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?

He asks himself this question every day as well

If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option

But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up

And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him

Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?

Yeah sure

But this year he had another reason to stay

See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire

He fell in love

Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you

In fact your credentials as a math teacher

The places you had taught before

Your praxis exam scores

Your recommendation letters

The professional development programs you were a part of

Test scores from your previous classes

The way you understood math

And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class

All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed

But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague

On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders

Which they would be taking next Friday

Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway

You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence

You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave

He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears

You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red

“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you

“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”

Buy lunch he thought

That sounded like an excellent idea

He should buy you lunch

He didn’t say that though

“Works for me. How was your weekend?”

And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty

At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks

“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”

His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing

How could you be so graceful and polite?

And your hands were so pretty wow

“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”

He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning

But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom

And boy he could have lived in your handwriting

The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality

And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie

He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point

Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you

There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)

Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally

This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you

“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”

“Ooh good question”

You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things

There were students present after all

“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking

He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose

“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”

“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”

Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice

It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher

“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”

And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave

Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”

There were students around there were students around

“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”

He scribbled the number down on the copy request form

“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”

He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class

Which you returned

And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year

You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with

He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short

But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier

Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:

“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”

Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student

“Yeah…why”

“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”

Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement

“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed

And then from the back corner

One of the notorious trouble makers stood up

Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again

And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”

There was no longer any hope for this class

Exponent rules? Down the drain

Hongjoong was now a laughingstock

Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds

So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank

It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other

Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer

“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker

Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly

Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird

But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff

Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing

BUT SECONDLY

What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you

While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them

If they ever brought it up again

Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?

You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you

The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer

Yep

Good explanation Mr. Kim

Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation

They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact

And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean

Except you actually

You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention

You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about

So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless

So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task

You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers

And you didn’t want to know

So you stayed blissfully ignorant

While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it

Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge

Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right

But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day

And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent

And he knew

They were talking about him

Yeah he should take a high school position next year

Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other

“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”

Hongjoong gave them a look

“Adorable?”

“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”

“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”

“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover

“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect

Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues

“And then you know what she said back?”

Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together

His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter

“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The other teachers could not hold it back anymore

The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar

(Plus the extra one he bought for you)

So he made his way swiftly back towards the door

“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him

“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply

“No come on you have to hear this”

Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers

He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time

“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out

Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral

But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway

“Great yes and after Christmas break?”

The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms

“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully

“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked

“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin

The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals

Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation

But no

“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”

Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough

Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month

But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you

So he made a detour

But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered

He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly

Maybe you went out to lunch today?

Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message

He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine

Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside

And you were in there actually

Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands

Oh no

Hongjoong had been there before

Every teacher had been there before

The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe

Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day

And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days

Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes

The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not

You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make

Did he let you have this moment to yourself?

Or did he try to help you through it?

He closed the door as softly as he could

And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself

Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through

“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers

You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously

But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss

“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied

He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on

“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer

“Oh, you know,” you sighed

He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act

“That good, huh?”

You laughed in return

“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”

Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”

“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”

“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”

Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?

Yes

He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes

But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat

He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face

But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day

Professional development day

Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day

The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention

Then it was lunch time

And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much

The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much

Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there

This year was no exception to all of this

But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it

For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups

And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time

Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck

Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it

The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies

As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?”

And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh

Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???

“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds

And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried

You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped

You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer

(It was)

“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried

He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice

She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face

“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked

He nodded awkwardly

“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked

“Yes?” you answered

She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder

“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else

You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up

Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye

But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments

The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him

And he had been spotted that easily

After that was administration-provided snack time

Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff

And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light

Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly

Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out

But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught

Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind

Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you

He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off

But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed

Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer

They were in this group with you two

The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom

And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what

Chat bots are notoriously bad at math

Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application

And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either

So he decided flirting with you was more fun

Just to make Hongjoong mad

But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:

Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table

(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)

(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)

Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well

So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then

San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number

Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind

But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop

So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad

The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off

The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment

Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups

So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out

You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you

(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)

There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share

And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time

And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them

So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder

Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching

To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers

Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought

He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then

He was going to live in the moment

And perhaps thank the principal later

After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion

It was finally ~lunch time~

The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to

And no one could agree

Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing

Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said

Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too

Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless

And then the department head said the following fateful words:

“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us

Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup

The department head probably had money on Before Christmas

But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers

“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything

Then you turned to him

“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”

“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot

You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school

He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back

He was gonna buy you lunch

And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch

It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date

Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school

It was special to him to go somewhere with just you

That wasn’t school

Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay

You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that

But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you

“But I wanted to” he replied

You accepted that

“It’s on me next time” you promised

And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete

Except if he died then there would be no next time

But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again

You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future

Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself

When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them

And that was a magical moment of peace too

Just the two of you

No one around to tease Hongjoong

He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you

Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant

So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier

It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves

And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it

Even though it was embarrassing

Well as fun as professional development day ended up being

Parent teacher conferences were not

Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans

Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other

And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents

And when the night was wrapping up

And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark

And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great

But no

None of that could happen

Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year

The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes

What a joke

They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester

But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences

Of course

Was the one time they had to switch it up

The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together

Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung

Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong

In all lowercase:

“hey loverboy u see this crap

math teacher romancephobic fr smh”

And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom

This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails

He did not reply to it

San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last

Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences

Which of course left everyone grading like crazy

And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before

And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick

So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash

Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade

And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon

What a time this was going to be

So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom

Predictably you were grading tests

He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk

“Which tests are you working on?” he asked

“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading

“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”

Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper

“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips

He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests

(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)

(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)

“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”

And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke

Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way

Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you

So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks

As well as his pile of late work

He tried to protest but no no

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”

“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead

“Then what was the point?”

I love you that’s the point

But what was the point actually

What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away

“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”

You brandished his late work stack again

“So I’m going to do something nice too”

Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again

For him at this point it was you or nothing

But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long

He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it

Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing

He wouldn’t give up the something he still had

He was like a curve approaching an asymptote

He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you

After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together

This did go faster with music by the way

And then you picked up his classroom together

And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish

The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner

Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story

He would have to suggest it himself

A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults

Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it

Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things

This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date

He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together

But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling

You got to your car and no tummy rumbling

You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling

“Wait!!!”

He could have slapped his own mouth

You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car

“Hmm?”

“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought

“Wanna what?” you asked

Big boy pants Hongjoong come on

“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out

He must not have seen your face light up in the dark

“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds

“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted

He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions

But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant

And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t

It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends

Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling

And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you

He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else

And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them

He knew he was the opposite of subtle

But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable

Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature

Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this

The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two

And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again

But you beat him to it

You were already prepared with your card and everything

“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin

He shook his head

“You don’t owe me anything”

“Well then next time it’s on you”

Hongjoong started to smile again

“Next time?”

“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”

“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”

You laughed at that

“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”

And things just kind of continued like that for a while

Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life

Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time

Or not even at school, just away from home

He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing

He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that

Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time

(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)

But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again

It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with

He had also found new friends in an unlikely place

The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly

But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast

Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings

And honestly it was such a blast

An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:

Other teachers often do not count as other adults

Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations

But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation

There were some eighth graders that all four of you had

Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class

Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?

Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do

Or what they’re like in other classes

(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)

Who they’re friends with outside of your class

Or crushes they have on each other

Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too

It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside

So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out

It was almost like a little Friendsgiving

“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda

You immediately scoffed

“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”

Hongjoong was surprised

Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior

He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much

Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised

“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”

“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”

Your eye might have twitched a little bit

You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest

Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you

“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”

Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth

“You’re joking”

“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”

Wooyoung smiled devilishly

“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”

San shook his head

“Teenagers” he sighed

Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said

“Teenagers.”

After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up

“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”

The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”

“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said

“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed

“Super athletic too” San added

“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”

Hongjoong smiled

Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved

Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening

They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff

The kids were also more riled up about it than usual

To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose

It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things

As in the easiest math ever

So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures

At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard

“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile

That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students

“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”

A chorus of protest arose

“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”

About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly

“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”

And then immediately from the back of the room

“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”

And chorus of “Ooooooh”

Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word

Just that same teacherly smile

Another round of protest came and he drew another one

After the third tally mark, they shut up

“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”

Once again I will say it was November

And the month after November is December

And December is the month of Christmas

Not just Christmas break

But Christmas itself

And that meant that Hongjoong now

After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break

Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present

Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind

It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first

Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful

He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come

And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you

Something for your classroom?

Something for your home?

A cute accessory?

A fun math shirt?

Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal

Nothing seemed good enough for you

If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient

Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December

(If not spent pestering you)

He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands

And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred

The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars

And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable

Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough

Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall

So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity

He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets

In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color

And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway

Then he brought it for you the next day

You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric

And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello

He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually

He set the present on your desk

“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin

Your curiosity was suddenly piqued

You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds

But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up

And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried

“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”

“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”

What a beautiful suggestion

The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets

But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater

“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”

“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”

Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you

But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders

He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket

You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own

And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you

Was this a dream??

He would not be happy if his alarm rang

But no it was real and he happily obliged

You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again

Just like at the professional development workshop

Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe

The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again

But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice

After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven

Your time was unfortunately cut short

Not by students arriving to school

But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom

“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”

He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly

She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter

“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”

Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say

So his last comment went ignored

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”

“No it’s okay I’ll go with you”

Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here

Hongjoong did not

Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?

While Wooyoung saw the truth

You just wanted the excuse to walk with him

Now Wooyoung had two choices

He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along

Or he could third wheel

And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?

Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another

And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes

So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor

“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”

“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer

You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about

“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave

You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up

As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please

Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle

And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning

Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go

Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time

But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime

The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense

And before everyone knew it

Christmas break was upon you

And there was no further progression of the math department couple

The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started

But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere

Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day

(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)

Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it

Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left

Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line

And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it

But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break

A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom

You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home

“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked

He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut

Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?

“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”

“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”

Hongjoong froze

The principal had visited you too?

Why?

For what purpose?

Betting purposes?

This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?

“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage

(He tried)

(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)

(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)

“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”

Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly

“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”

“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”

If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked

Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you

“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”

You smiled and his stomach did a flip

He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that

He hoped not

“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”

Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?

Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now

To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”

Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay

Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”

Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns

And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you

And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together

But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice

He had no idea

All of his pants were teacher pants

His shirts? All teacher shirts

He was way too good at dressing for his job

So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?

He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up

He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy

In the end he decided his hair was the only issue

He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion

And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option

So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher

So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay

You looked perfect of course

The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference

Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it

Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong

You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why

Like you almost seemed nervous

What for? It was just him

You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket

“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”

You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food

“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”

And you pulled a little package out of your bag

Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him

You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”

(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)

And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break

As for his silly little gifts you adored them

You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud

He could not have been happier with himself

And then you caught him staring at you

You paused in your excited little ramblings

He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next

But you smiled and looked down at your plate

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second

In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking

“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”

Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say

But you deserved to know it

Not just cute but beautiful

Heartstoppingly so

You took the compliment well anyway

“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off

You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious

“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand

“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked

“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”

“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”

You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before

“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”

Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now

But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud

“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly

You blinked like you didn’t believe him

“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”

And then he realized

You literally had no idea about him

Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger

Except you

“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”

“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”

Embarrassment began to set in for both of you

“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”

“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face

“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”

You buried your face further in your hands

“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”

“I’ll help you” he promised

You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you

But you asked them not to tell the kids

Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it

Speaking of the bets

No one won any of them technically

The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses

And since you confessed during Christmas break well

As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money

(Especially on those teacher salaries)

You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down

And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed

The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you

But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway

You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong

And it was really funny actually

Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you

Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway

Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom

This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote

And you about died from laughter and embarrassment

Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??

It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom

Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed

He still treated you almost exactly the same way

Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher

And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket

You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare

Because firstly unprofessional

A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not

And secondly what if the kids saw you???

The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults

But the kids???

There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation

The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild

“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”

“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”

“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”

You had prepared for this together

You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause

So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding

So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible

“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”

It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it

Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene

The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded

He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was

But on closer inspection it was a pickup line

“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”

So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key

Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note

“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”

Oh that one was bad

You had to give him something worse

“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”

You handed him that one in between classes

And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at

His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally

128√e980

You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway

“I love you”

So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”

You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”

Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity

But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted

Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”

Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came

Much like Hongjoong himself actually

Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)

First you distributed the 2 on the right

2x+6i<2x+18u

Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them

6i<18u

Then divide by 6

And the answer made you smile every time

i<3u

(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)

Masterlist

#ateez #hongjoong #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #atz #atz x reader #kim hongjoong

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riddles-fiddles · 9 months

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Octavinelle boys with a pregnant S/O

Synopsis: I'm dealing with terrible baby ferver so I need to get this out of my system. Headcanons to how the boys react to your pregnancy all thorough the months (part 2) Characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Floyd Leech, Jade Leech Tags: SFW, fluff, domestic fluff Notes: AFAB gender neutral reader, cw pregnancy and birth

•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

⁀➷ Azul Ashengrotto — make sure to give him the good news while the man is safely sitting down, or else you'll see him go weak on his knees. Azul prides himself on his collected demeanor and carefully woven expressions - vital skills for his business-oriented persona - but then he is inevitably crumbling down, staring at the positive pregnancy test wide-eyed, struggling to find something clever to say. His mind is racing wild but no rational thoughts are able to fall from his lips, so all he can muster is a very low, shaky "I am… going to be a father?"

Give him some time to digest the news and you'll be met by a very gentle, tender hug from the octomer. Azul is both thrilled and terrified of this new chapter of your shared life; he longed to achieve the same kind of love his mother and step-father shared with each other, to be cared for and desired in such a selfless and devotional way, inspired by the way their love reflected upon his own upbringing. On the other hand, however, his insecuriities threatened to surface once again, doubts and ghosts from the past whispering wicked lies about his worth as a future parent. He doesn't want to fail on you and the child, as a partner or a father, and though he's equally worried about the emotional aspect of parenthood, he sticks to the importance of material goods - they're more on his comfort lane and he does it flawless to ensure your growing family can have everything of need.

(Please leash him while shopping for nursery furniture or else he'll make the baby's room a monochrome nightmare)

Azul showers you with gifts almost everyday: jewels, clothes, accessories… anything he knows you like or make any minimal comments about, being his way of showing how much he loves and cares for you, and as you progress through the stages, he takes more leaves from Mostro Lounge. He loves his work, but you are the lighthouse of his life, the one he cherishes and clings to on stormy or bright days, and the pregnancy only fueled his sense of loyalty and sincerity to you. His cafe actually comes in handy when the cravings start, and Azul isn't even an ounce ashamed to take advantage of the students working under his contracts to request them to make whatever you hunger for, though it was a surprise at first to discover about that particular characteristic of human pregnancy; he was amused nonetheless, but then he will be more careful when handing your requests. He's a very attentive partner, though it could be hard for him to express all the emotions that bubbles within his chest, sometimes too worried about being 'too emotional', scared to say something and make himself a complete fool. He kneads the stress away from your body with careful fingers and helps you out on regular tasks - shampoo your hair, put your shoes on, change clothes.

When the big day finally comes, Azul is already set and ready to go. Fret not, for the darling octo-mer has picked only the best, comfiest and quietest room for the delivery with only the best nurses on the hospital and has already set a very special menu for you to indulge in after all your hard work. But suddenly he is panicking, the danger of human birth finally sinking in as he watches the way you writhe and sob on the bed, but he can't do much but hold your hands tightly and hope for the best as the nurses help you around. When his baby is finally placed over his arms and Azul gazes upon the serene features of the tiny bean, all his terrors and doubts melt away, exhaling out a sigh of relieve and renewed joy - Azul realizes he's madly in love with you and the frail life that lays withing his grasp. He understands that there's no need for him to be perfect, either.

⁀➷ Floyd Leech — very excited from the idea of having a mini Floyd running around the house, a pocket-sized partner in crime, but to expect he would be an exceptional partner is, unfortunately, wrong. Floyd is very complex and his emotions are hard to keep controlled, and now that you are pregnant, he becomes somewhat more intense because of your own hormones and the anxiety of parenthood gripping on his neck. He does tries his best to get his moods in check, though - he doesn't want you to be stressing over him, knowing how dangerous it could be, so whenever he feels like his mood is about to change drastically, he walks away to take a breath. Things can turn into quite a ruckus if you end up experiencing those annoying changes at the same time though, as Floyd struggles to understand why you're snapping at him all of a sudden when he was just asking you something. Jade helps him understand that you're extremely hormonal and how it affects your humor and helps you keep his brother's own on check.

He's a lot more possessive and protective of you now, if not clingier. Floyd will be wrapping his arms around your figure any chance he gets, and when in public he'll always be intertwining your fingers together or holding you by the waist, getting annoyed every time someone comes asking to touch your bump - "I'm the only one who should be allowed to touch my Shrimpy's belly! Strangers have no bussiness being so close to you." Going to the doctor is always amusing because that's the moment Floyd looks the most concentrated than you can ever remember. Human pregnancy is something so new and weird for him, he's totally enthralled; what do you mean you don't lay eggs? Oh, you're just like a whale! How fun! Though he is entertained from all the information he's learning, Floyd is lowkey terrified of the birthing process (he's flabbergasted to know human babies can come out the size of a small watermelon), but he does his best to calm you down, and if you'd prefer to get a c-section, then he'll totally support you! During the preparations for the baby's room, Floyd will prefer to decorate it with ocean-themed stuff, having a blast with the assorted toys you two have bought and you're worried he might be more excited with them than your child. You know that one meme of the dad stealing the kid's tricycle? Yeah, that's him.

The delivering day comes, and Floyd is a whirlwind. He's more scared than you and it shows, no more jokes or smart remarks to try and hide his desperation, only panic, and you need to calm him down, even though he's not the one dealing with hellish contractions. Also, for the love of all Sevens, do not allow him to drive. Once you two get in the hospital, Floyd makes use of scary eel privilege to swiftly arrange a delivery room for you and suddenly almost all the nurse staff is mobilized to take care of you. Floyd can't bear the idea of leaving you alone not for even a minute, so despite the recommendations, he'll sit through hours by your side even if he's tense and stiff, holding your hand tightly. Bless the nurses who'll be helping you, because they'll have to deal with Floyd going through all the emotions known to man. Don't worry though, once he knows his shrimpy and little fry are safe and healthy, he'll turn back to the usual easy-going happy Floyd.

⁀➷ Jade Leech — Jade is surprised to receive the news. Similar to Azul, he does have a bit of knowledge about human's particularities and biology, but he wasn't expecting for you two to be compatible, especially since he's a much more 'feral' kind of merman. Nonetheless, he's happy with the prospect of growing a loving family with you... though by the progression of months, he grows the most worried. He's relieved to see the way you glow, how you seem healthy, but intrusive thoughts sometimes creep on the back of his mind. What if something happens? What if your body rejects the child because of his eel-merman genes? What if— but then you come to him squealing about how you felt the baby's first kick, and suddenly he's relaxing, his heart washed from any lingering fears. He pulls you closer and lays his head on your bump, humming quietly as he feels the baby slowly settling down.

Jade does his own research just to be sure he's doing everything right and what to expect from the significant changes you two are inevitably experiencing, insisting on working out a routine of exams and appointments, always so attentive to every little detail and medical advice. The bad thing is, he strictly follows them, which means you won't be able to snatch something unhealthy for all of your pregnancy; even if you're trying to tiptoe your way to the fridge, Jade somehow knows, he's right there to remind you about 'doctor's orders'. He's got the best of intentions, though he may look too strict. But don't fret! As soon as mama Leech gets word about your pregnancy she's coming to help! Jade actually listens to her tips, recognizing her very valuable experience on the matter and trusting mama knows best. At least you get to eat some cheat food here and there - Jade's shocked and extremely entertained to be taught that humans believe that a baby could be born looking like a certain kind of food if the mother doesn't eat whatever she's craving, and so he indulges you into whatever you ask him to cook. Similar to Floyd, Jade grows more possessive of you, especially when out in public. He dislikes the attention your bump attracts, cautious of ill-intentioned people, so when your belly has grown to it's full glory, Jade gives curious passerbys a piercing cold look while you're not aware, and then carries on to grocery shopping, whispering sweet praises to your ear like the entire mall isn't turning heels as fast as possible the moment they land their eyes on you both.

When the baby's due date comes, Jade is the ever collected and relying gentleman you need. Since he's such a good observer and has kept track of every little thing during your pregnancy - mood swings, body changes, smell and heat - he already has a suspicion you're about to go into labour, so he has prepared everything you might need even before you can shout about your water breaking. It's so endearing how he already looks like a dad - diligently guiding you through the hospital halls, big maternity bags hanging on his shoulders as he coos quietly about how everything is going to be ok, how you're going to be a great parent and how much he loves you. If you ask him to stay with you on the delivery room, he'll gladly let you squeeze his hand into oblivion and look unaffected, watching as you work for hours on end with a ressuring smile and the most sincere devotion on his eyes, totally enthralled by your resilience.

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xythlia · 6 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 — 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈

kinktober week four | humiliation | f!reader x lucifer

Welcome to week four our halloweekend double feature to send out the month with a bang ^⁠_⁠^

› got caught snooping hm? well, unfortunately for you the avatar of pride can't simply let such a slight go with a warning, no you have to know actions have consequences even if you act like you don't give a shit.

› warnings : blindfold, humiliation, face slap, punishment, sorta forced submission, brat taming, fingering, withholding orgasm, rough sex creampie, spit/drool

› word count : 2k+

🔪 what goes bump in the night?

In satin darkness you hear every breath echo throughout your body. It's oddly peaceful yet anxiety provoking, having one of your most dominant senses cut off lends to a jumpier state of body and mind. You couldn't even say it had been an accident, you'd been caught beyond red handed rifling through his study, but the punishment he suggested had left your ears burning, your heartbeat pounding through your entire body so loudly you thought he must hear it too.

For Lucifer, it's not just about the moment itself but it's replay value. Having you on your knees, in only your underwear and a blindfold is a sight that will be burned behind his eyelids for many, many millennia to come. When he proposed this exchange it was exactly for that: something to masticate again and again, savor the way humans savor exquisite bites of food. He didn't really care about you flipping through his things, he'd left the study unlocked on purpose just to see if you'd do exactly what he thought you would.

Really it was just an excuse to get you in a compromising position.

With poise he unbuttons the sleeves of his shirt, rolling them up while keeping bemused, lustful eyes locked on you. The movement of your chest with every intake of breath is particularly mesmerizing, the way the dim lights of his bedroom play across the canvas of your skin could make an artist weep.

He circles you slowly, as a predator circles prey, crimson eyes taking in each change in your breathing coupled with every twitch of your muscles as you fight to hold still. A bemused smile graces his face seeing you struggle against your nervous system, it's thrilling to keep you on your toes when you have no way to know when he'll strike.

His fingertips are icy, the barest touch of them against your shoulders makes your breathing hitch in your throat.

"Do they not teach humans basic manners anymore?" He muses, whispering the words against the shell of your ear, and you know he's crouched right behind you.

It sends a shudder quaking down your spine, your tongue running across your bottom lip as you contemplate if his question is rhetorical. Who knows if there's a punishment for guessing wrong?

"They do-"

"Ah, so you just think of yourself as above having to use them?" His voice was strangely level, you had anticipated at least a sliver of annoyance. From his footfalls you know he's standing now, resuming his pacing as if he's a carrion bird circling a hapless creature.

"Maybe I just think of myself as above you."

The sound of his palm against your cheek reached your mind before the feeling of it, a sharp heavy burn the blossoms from the impact point to radiate outward, making even your right ear feel fuzzy from the shock. You can't help the yelp that leaves you, but feel furious inside that he got you to cry like a struck beast.

What you can't see is the odd look on his face, he wants to be angry that you'd even dare to say that aloud but feels his pride stirring precisely because you did, watching your hand come to cradle your cheek. You being painfully headstrong was endearing, even stripped nearly nude and posited on your knees you would still rather flash your teeth than submit.

It makes this particular punishment all the sweeter.

"Get up." He said bluntly.

It takes you a moment, still dumbstruck that he actually laid a hand to you. Not wanting to test his patience but refusing to give even an inch you comply but take your time rising to your feet. Stretching your arms above your head, fingers laced, listening to your joints pop as you languidly move doing your best to telegraph that you don't care if you're blind and naked.

If it were anyone other than you he'd be furious, but that same amusement practically drips off his lips. Gently he grasps your hands as you bring them down from above your head, it's a dizzying contrast but you refuse to be thrown. Smirking you let yourself be led, bare feet softly padding across the floor as he pulls you forward, until stopping you by letting go and moving behind your body, hands laid on your shoulders.

You're about to throw another verbal jab at him but the words die, garbled in your throat, as he shoves you down. The upper half of your body hits the mattress, your elbows barely catching you but his forearm braced across your back keeps you held still while your legs sunk in a knelt position again, legs open awkwardly.

A whimper leaves you reflexively, fear spiking inside your brain at being so caught off guard.

"Do you think I wouldn't grab you by the scruff?" There's a hardness to his words and this time you know it's rhetorical.

His other hand caresses hot against the thin fabric of your panties, fingers running across the top hem before pressing firmly against your clit and making you nearly jump out of your skin at the contact. You gasp, breaths coming hard and shaky, letting your cheek rest against the mattress.

Little did you know it only takes one subtle sign to signal a yield to a shrewd eye.

His lips are searing against the back of your neck, it feels almost animalistic to be bent over and held down as he strokes your damp underwear. You squeeze your eyes shut, drinking it in for all its worth. The dull throb in your cheek falls away as he moves your underwear to the side, robbing your lungs of air feeling the way his fingers prod at your entrance, swirling through the arousal soaking your cunt.

You can't help the way you sigh his name, pathetically and full of longing. As two fingers slip inside you effortlessly, your own hands catch the blanket in a white knuckle grip. The way his teeth scrape against the thin skin of your neck has you keening in his hold, the muscles in your thighs clench tight, each feeling heightened by the lack of vision.

The arm across your back lets up, his hand sliding around to grope one of your bare breasts pinching the nipple cruelly just to hear you make those low, needy sounds for him. Lucifers erection presses hard against your ass from behind, making you wiggle against him and the thought of him slotted inside you has you nearly drooling.

Feeling more and more of your arousal slide down his knuckles tells him you don't need anymore prep, but he repositions you to half stand, bent over the side of the bed as you hear his buckle clicking and the sound of his slacks falling to the floor. Biting the inside of your cheek as your toes flex, curling in anticipation.

Feeling the swollen tip of his cock slide along your ass makes you suddenly dizzy, his hands groping and kneading the fat before lining up with your slick hole. He eases in surprisingly slow, letting you feel the way your walls stretch and part for him, greedily sucking him in so you can feel every vein and the slight upward curve that prods against your cervix just enough to have you crying out.

If your body could have its way you'd never let him go, but feeling him pull out only to slam back inside you hard enough to make your body jostle makes your clit throb and brain feel like it's melting. Your mouth drops open, lips catching against the fabric as you whine his name in perfect harmony with the slick squelching sounds drifting from behind you.

As his fingers dig into your hips, hard enough to bruise, you can feel your stomach fluttering and your abdomen tightening. Frantically one of your hands slips down to start roughly circling your clit but before you can reach it he's got both your arms held behind you.

"You're mistaken if you think this is for your enjoyment," he grunts, voice gravely and punctuated by the sound of his heavy balls smacking deliciously close to where you ache the hardest.

"Please-" you don't even get to beg, jerked up to stand suddenly, one leg bent still against the bed to keep you steady, with one of his arms against your belly and the other gripping your jaw harshly. Your eyes roll back, lashes catching against the blindfold, feeling his cock hit a new angle in this position.

His pace doesn't falter, even while he roughly slots two fingers inside your mouth to stop your whining. You let out a choked moan, tasting yourself on his fingers while feeling warm, thick saliva drip from the corners of your mouth.

Knowing at the moment he doesn't care about you getting off, only fucking you for self satisfaction and to completely debase you, makes a pressure build inside you so intense it feels like you could burst. It doesn't matter how much you incoherently blubber about being sorry, about wanting to cum, it all falls on deaf ears. Only harsh groans and squelches from your body answer you.

You can feel the blindfold getting damp before you realize you're crying, hiccupping around his fingers while you grab desperately onto his arm, any part of him you can reach from this position. Your legs shake, thighs screaming from holding the muscles so taught.

Before the dam bursts inside you hea forcing you back down against the bed, thrusts completely devolving into sloppy, hard, haphazard strokes and you know he's about to cum.

Sniffling and whining, ass up, you feel hot, sticky spurts of cum pumping inside you. Your sobs are muffled by the blankets you pressed your face into, each one emphasized by another rope of cum flooding you, your walls milking his cock for all he's worth as his hands keep an iron grip on your ass.

When he pulls out you feel so starkly empty it makes you shudder, not daring to move even as you feel his load start to drip out of you.

It's cruel, using you and leaving you so unsatisfied. Finally you move, shakily standing like a newborn foal as his hands yank the blindfold off. You blink, dumbstruck, against the sudden barrage of light as more tears slide down your face. Your arms wind across your chest, hugging yourself as you blink the saltwater away.

You suddenly feel horribly small against the chill of his bedroom and the shrewd look in his eyes while he dresses himself. After sliding a hand through his mussed black locks he uncuffs his dress shirt, casually making his way to the dresser and picks up a slim stack of papers.

The absurdity hits you like a freight train; you standing stark naked and shivering, skin sticky with various fluids while he looks like he just walked in from a meeting.

He shoots you a look, glancing up from the paper he's looking over, as if to say well, are you going?

Your cheek suddenly throbs again, and you feel fresh tears flood your waterline. Small, sniffling breaths are the only sound inside the bedroom as you slowly dress, hands shaking and making each article of clothing feel like a monumental chore.

Rubbing your eyes with your sleeve you softly slip out of his room, the heavy oak door shutting behind you with a soft click.

Blearily you stumble back to your room, equal parts mortified and seething as you feel cum soaking uncomfortably into your already damp panties. Gingerly you sit on your own bed, still in disbelief.

That bastard wanted you to snoop from the very beginning.

#obey me x reader #obey me smut #obey me imagine #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #om! lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer smut #obey me lucifer smut #lucifer x you #obey me x y/n #obey me x female reader #kinktober 2023 #🔪 wgbitn #obey me luci x reader

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manykinsmen · 6 months

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toro rosso reject to five time world champion, or, welcome to the meat grinder: a complete(ish) history of drivers maligned by the red bull family in f1

okay so with all the red bull propaganda floating around, i wanted to explain why that team in particular rubs me the wrong way in the most objective way that i can (i say most objective because i know it cannot be perfectly objective and also i do not want it to be. how we feel emotionally about things is important and i firmly reject any culture that insists that human suffering should take a backseat to pretty numbers). a lot of research went into this and the typing up of this post alone has taken me several days. i have striven for accuracy in my reporting of information, so please let me know if you spot anything incorrect or any typos surrounding dates/numbers.

i will also preface this by saying that no team in formula 1 is an emotionally healthy environment to be - fundamentally most motor racing shouldn’t be set up to have multiple driver teams (i will make an exception for series where they literally share or swap control of the car like endurance racing or extreme e). it doesn’t make sense and almost always ends badly. formula 1’s set up in this regard is the worst of the worst. i am also deeply critical of the entire concept of junior teams and driver academies, which, with a very small handful of exceptions, have been an unmitigated disaster and a breeding ground for psychological problems. this is across all teams that employ them, red bull, mercedes, mclaren and ferrari in particular. red bull operates the biggest machine in this regard, far eclipsing even mercedes, which creates a situation in which the problems of these systems play out on an industrial scale under their banner.

so let’s have a look in detail at the drivers that have succumbed to the red bull meat grinder, going all the way back to 2005. we'll do this mostly in bullet point form for my own sanity and i am going to give their ages at the time, because i wholeheartedly believe it is relevant, given that many of red bull's victims are very young drivers - all but four of them were under 25 when they raced for the red bull family in f1, and it is now widely understood that the human brain doesn't finish developing until after that age, leaving them particularly vulnerable to psychological and emotional strain. this is gonna be long, so buckle up.

a quick notice that we will only be covering individuals who have driven for red bull or toro rosso/alpha tauri in at least one f1 race, not any purely test or developmental drivers, anyone from exclusively from the feeder series or any other motorsports series. please bear in mind that there will be a whole host of other wronged individuals who exist in this category. we will be excluding david coulthard, mark webber, sebastian vettel, daniel ricciardo, max verstappen, sergio perez and yuki tsunoda as these drivers are either currently with red bull/alpha tauri, and therefore their story with them is not complete, or left/retired from them voluntarily, on (mostly) good terms which is not the norm. these individuals have been excluded as outliers. we will also not be talking about liam lawson as there is not enough information about his circumstances. we will also not be covering any unconfirmed rumours of stress-related alopecia afflicting multiple red bull family drivers.

content warning: some of this stuff is very upsetting and in many instances likely meets the definition of psychological/emotional abuse and workplace bullying. i will highlight which specific sections mention night terrors, eating disorders, suicidal behaviour, and the death of anthoine hubert, but please bear in mind that this entire document is varying degrees of unpleasant to harrowing.

a * indicates that driver holds at least one world championship in some form of motorsport series. ** indicates that they are an f1 race winner.

christian klien, red bull (2005-6), aged 22-23

klien was inherited by red bull from jaguar racing, which they bought out, whom he had raced for in his rookie season. it was a relatively unremarkable rookie season, though klien was noticed for his consistency in finishing, retiring just four times.

red bull replaced him after only three races with vitantonio liuzzi (this was because they had two drivers and only one seat, having signed both, - the other was occupied by veteran racer david coulthard - and couldn't decide which they wanted). they flip-flopped between the two drivers over the course of the '05 season.

despite this, klien scored points in two of his three races (the third being a dns with an electrical issue), and twice more over the season.

red bull subsequently bought out minardi, which they renamed toro rosso, to solve their three-driver problem and klien was confirmed for the red bull seat alongside coulthard for the '06 season.

klien qualified in the top 10 for the opening two races of the '06 season and scored points in bahrain. in malaysia he dnfed after colliding with kimi raikkonen. at this point he was viewed by red bull as failing to live up to the expectations of his much more experienced teammate (coulthard had been racing in f1 for twelve years at this point).

despite two further points finishes, mark webber (also more experienced that klien, racing for five years) was signed from williams for klien's seat in '07 before the end of the season and klien was sacked with three races to go, with reserve driver robert doornbos filling his seat.

klien declined a drive for red bull in the indycar series in the united states because he felt his formula 1 story wasn't yet over.

though he admits, he handled his sacking poorly, he has said in 2023: "there was so much going on behind [closed] doors that I was really, really frustrated with the situation and the way it [was] brought up to me, it wasn’t very nice."

he never raced in f1 again, though he was a reserve driver for honda, bmw sauber and hrt from 2007-10).

he went on to pivot to endurance racing, which he has had a long career in, continuing to present, and has written a monthly column for pitpass.com since 2012.

robert doornbos, red bull (2006), aged 26

doornbos originally raced in f1 for minardi alongside christijan albers in the '05 season.

when minardi was bought out by red bull to become toro rosso, neither driver retained their seat at the end of the '05 season. albers moved to spyker, whilst doornbos was left without a seat.

however, christian horner had been a previous team principal of doornbos in f3000 had been recently appointed sporting director of red bull and found doornbos a seat as red bull test/reserve driver.

he was promoted to the red bull second seat for the final three races of the '06 season following klien being dropped.

although he qualified in the top ten in his first race, he failed to bring home any points and was ultimately passed over for the '07 season in favour of mark webber.

doornbos has been quiet about his time at red bull.

he remained as red bull test driver for the '07 season, and raced in two seasons of champcar/indycar. he has been retired from racing since 2010.

vitantonio liuzzi, red bull (2005), toro rosso (2006-7), aged 25-27

we've covered much of liuzzi's story in covering klien's but here are a few extra details:

in the '06 season, liuzzi was given a seat in the newly created toro rosso team.

he scored the team's first points in an eighth place finish after a long battle with nico rosberg in a williams and david coulthard in a red bull (note that this is the standard that klien was failing to live up to in the same season).

liuzzi was confirmed for the '07 season, which went rather badly for him, including crashing into the "wall of champions" in Canada. liuzzi failed to score at all in the first half of the season and there was constant speculation that he and/or his teammate scott speed would be replaced by sebastian vettel and/or champcar champion sebastian bourdais.

after bourdais was announced to have been given the '08 drive in the mid-season, liuzzi's performances actually improved and in china, he overtook mark webber in the red bull to finish fifth.

liuzzi blames his sacking from toro rosso as a problem of too many people having the ear of didi mateschitz, red bull owner, particularly gerhard berger who owned a 50% stake. in 2023, he said: "actually, I stepped out of toro rosso because of berger. in 2007, for politics, he took me out of red bull. if not, i would have stayed there for a really long time. it was done in a bad way… it was really not a fair situation. it was a big shame." he has also been critical of the lack of clarity and constant changes of which criteria were used to judge the drivers' performances.

liuzzi went on to race for force india and hrt between 2008 and 2012, before moving to the superstars series, gt series and eventually formula e.

liuzzi has been retired from racing since 2017.

scott speed, toro rosso (2006-7), aged 23-4

scott speed was a divisive presence in f1, given that he routinely went on the verbal offensive with other drivers and his own team. much of this was attributed to a brash american attitude, though scott has later come out to say that he regrets his behaviour, which he says was a result of the stress he was under at the time.

speed drove for toro rosso in the '06 season, having been a test driver for red bull in '05 at the canadian grand prix. his early races went poorly, with a 13th place finish in bahrain and a retirement with a clutch failure in malaysia.

in the australian grand prix, it looked briefly like speed had scored his first points before he was given a twenty-five second penalty for overtaking under yellow flags, dropping him out of the points from ninth. he was also fined $5000 for using inappropriate language to david coulthard during a hearing with the FIA.

at the french grand prix, speed suffered back pain and breathing problems as a result of a friday practice accident, but raced regardless.

despite a terrible season in which he scored no points, and which saw wild speculation of his replacement, speed was signed again for the '07 season, despite klien not even being offered the demotion to toro rosso.

speed's '07 season was similarly disappointing, with two separate collisions with alexander wurz (who you might remember as current gdpa chair).

the european grand prix would be his last race with the team. it ended in him spinning off in the wet. there were unconfirmed reports afterwards of a physical altercation with franz tost, toro rosso team principal, which tost has always denied. speed accused the team of wanting to get rid of both himself and liuzzi.

despite things seeming to calm down over mid-season testing, at hungary '07, it was announced that speed would be replaced by sebastian vettel.

speed reportedly said that "no amount of money" would see him work with red bull again, but in 2008 he went on to drive for red bull in nascar (it is unclear if he meant red bull in f1 or red bull more broadly). he has also called his contract with toro rosso "absurd" in an episode of beyond the grid.

he raced in nascar until 2013 and has since raced in both rallycross and formula e. he briefly attempted to raced in the indianapolis 500, before deciding that it was too dangerous following the death of his friend dan wheldon. he has not raced since 2021 and now hosts the red bull podcast.

sébastian bourdais, toro rosso (2008-9), aged 29-30*

bourdais' initial foray into the world of formula 1 came before his champcar success, in 2002, with tests for both arrows (who were on the verge of bankruptcy) and renault, where he was ultimately passed over in favour of franck montagny.

he returned to f1 in 2007, gaining several tests with toro rosso after his fourth consecutive champcar title, which would unify with indycar in 2008.

in 2008, he was announced as teammate to sebastian vettel at toro rosso. in his debut race, despite qualifying seventeenth, he managed to overtake his way into fourth place before his engine failed with three laps remaining. having completed more than 90% distance, he was classified eighth and later inherited seventh after rubens barrichello was disqualified.

bourdais went on to bring home points again at belgium, where he qualified ninth, held onto fifth for most of the race and was briefly third, before toro rosso made an incorrect strategy call to stay on dry weather tyres and he was overtaken by several drivers on wets, leaving him seventh. bourdais was visibly close to tears after the race.

at italy, he qualified fourth, but a grid-box problem saw him forced to start from the pitlane. despite being lapped by his teammate, he set the second-fastest lap of the race. in japan he was the victim of a controversial fia penalty (few commentators agreed with it) for causing a collision with felipe massa and was dropped from sixth to tenth (then out of the points). this was, in fact, so controversial after a string of bad fia calls throughout the season that they were forced to release "stewards only" footage to justify the decision. many, including martin brundle, still believed that massa should have been penalised instead.

bourdais was confirmed for toro rosso in the '09 season alongside rookie sebastien buemi, replacing sebastian vettel moving up to red bull following david coulthard's retirement.

despite two points finishes, buemi outscored bourdais and impressed the team greatly. bourdais later struck buemi's car at the spain gp, taking evasive action from a spinning jarno trulli, forcing the retirement of both cars. he then collided with kovalainen in britain and suffered mechanical failure in german, after qualifying last by over a second.

in july, toro rosso announced that bourdais would be replaced by jaime alguersuari for the hungarian grand prix and onwards, with franz tost saying that bourdais had "not met expectations". bourdais had a viable case to sue toro rosso for breach of contract, who later settled with him for $2.1 million to avoid litigation.

bourdais has largely been quiet on his time as part of the red bull family, but has recently accused the team of "poor sportsmanship" and "dirty tactics" in their use of second-driver sergio perez.

following his retirement from formula 1, bourdais has competed in multiple le mans series races, including winning the 24hrs of le mans in 2016. he also returned to indycar and is currently racing in imsa sports car.

sébastien buemi, toro rosso, 2009-11, aged 20-23*

aka, the tale of three sebastians, none of them spelt the same.

buemi was brought into toro rosso in 2009 from the feeder series and his first season with them went, honestly remarkably well. he scored points on multiple occasions, outscored teammate, and rival seb, bourdais and achieved three top ten qualifying positions in a row. he was named best rookie of the season.

he continued to produce results at this level in the '10 season, in spite of one truly spectacular incident in free practice of the chinese grand prix when his suspension failed and jettisoned his two front wheels while he was travelling at over 300kph. one of the wheels went over the safety fence and almost hit a camera man. fortunately no one was hurt. he even outscored teammate alguersuari, with eight points to alguersuari's five.

in 2011, he again produced good results, scoring a total of fifteen points, almost double the previous year. however, despite this and in a surprise move, both he and alguersuari were dropped in december 2011, despite having verbal confirmation from toro rosso that their seats were safe. according to alguersuari, the reason given was that they "weren't winners". this move came so late in the season that neither alguersuari or buemi were able to negotiate for seats at other teams, which may well have been available to them, as they were already filled.

buemi himself has remained fairly quiet about his time as part of the red bull family.

he was retained as a red bull test driver in 2012 and continued to be included on their list of test drivers as recently as 2022.

since leaving f1, buemi has won the world endurance racing champioship on four occasions and the 24 hours of le mans on three. he is one of the most successful drivers in formula e's history, being crowned world champion in 2016, and still races within that series. he is one of the most decorated drivers currently racing outside of f1.

(a personal aside here, buemi's success has as much meaning to me personally as pierre gasly's win after his demotion. imagine being told that you are not a winner, only to go on and win five world championships).

jaime alguersuari, toro rosso (2009-11), aged 19-21

(serious content warning, this one contains descriptions of night terrors and discusses seeking psychological help)

at the time of his arrival, jaime alguersuari was the youngest person ever to race in f1 and only the seventh teenager. he was also the first f1 driver to be born in the 1990s. he is the son of jaime alguersuari sr., a minor motorcycle racer.

alguersuari had little success in the second half of the '09 season, suffering from mechanical failures and retiring in five of the last eight races.

despite this, he secured the drive for '10. in malaysia, he scored his first ever points with franz tost praising his skills and saying he "drove an incredible race". he scored points on two further occasions, completing the series with five and finishing just behind teammate buemi in the standings.

in the '11 season, alguersuari started out badly in the races, in either finishing outside of the points or retiring, despite qualifying impressively.

by the canadian grand prix there were rumours that he would be replaced by daniel ricciardo, who had completed a race for backmarker team hrt. in canada however, he finished eighth for his best ever result.

alguersuari significantly improved, scoring points in seven of the last thirteen races, bringing home a total points haul of twenty six, more than five times his score from the previous year and outscoring teammate buemi.

despite having impressed across the paddock in general and being tipped as a great racer of the future, alguersuari was dropped alongside his teammate, as covered above. alguersuari has repeatedly insisted that he had multiple verbal confirmations that his seat was safe from toro rosso.

since being dropped, alguersuari has been, and continues to be, vocal about the mistreatment of himself and other drivers by the red bull program. here are a few excerpts:

"none of the drivers that are racing for red bull would have had that chance without them. that is crystal clear. but what is also crystal clear is the way they sacked me and my team was not the way they should have done it [...] it was a very quick phone call lasting just one minute. it was a very tough thing, and i didn’t understand why. i still don’t understand why even today [...] they played their cards, and i wasn’t smart enough to move out at the right time. i did have an opportunity to move in abu dhabi in 2011 – that was the contract I needed to sign – and that was the only opportunity I had to sign that contract. i didn’t sign it because i wanted to be faithful to the people who had helped me since i was 15.” - 2023

"i tell you something – when i sleep, i still have very strange dreams of that time, especially about the impotence and the frustration of never making it, of seeing mr. [helmut] marko always angry, telling us off. as if we were children. [...] i have not been able to erase this.i have done therapy, when i retired several psychologists helped me… now, even so, strange things come to my head. and sometimes wake up, like, crying, having dreamt of having done a great lap only to see the face of mr. marko, angry [...] this has created a trauma – and I am convinced that buemi and many others are also going through it." - 2022

alguersuari was prielli test driver 2012-13. he was later one of the founding drivers of formula e in 2014, alongside former teammate buemi and ex-toro rosso drivers liuzzi and vergne. after only a season, he was forced to suspend racing activities after suffering from unexplained fainting spells, which were later resolved. in 2015 he retired from motor racing entirely, at the age of 25, having "fallen out of love" with it. he is now a professional dj and staged a return to competitive karting in 2021. he continues to be a vocal supporter of buemi and spanish compatriot carlos sainz jr.

jean-éric "jev" vergne, toro rosso (2012-14), aged 21-24*

(serious content warning, this one gets very upsetting and talks about eating disorders, extreme dieting, weight restrictions and hospitalisation).

vergne took part in the goodwood festival of speed, driving an f1 car, in 2010. after this, it was announced that he would test for toro rosso in the young drivers test of the same year. he went on to drive in selected free practies in 2011.

he was confirmed to race for toro rosso ahead of the '12 season, alongside teammate daniel ricciardo. in this season, he scored points on only four occasions and after the european grand prix was ruled by the fia to have caused an avoidable collision with heikki kovalainen, resulting in a ten place, double grid drop penalty and a fine of €25,000. he crashed out on one other occasion and had two retirements due to suspension failure. despite a poor showing in that season, he outscored teammate ricciardo with sitxteen points to ricciardo's ten.

in his second season, despite finishing higher in the standings, vergne scored fewer points on fewer occasions. of his five retirements, three were caused by mechanical failure and one was caused by tyre failure (a problem which plagued the entire grid that season and led to questions about pirelli's suitability as manufacturer). he was outscored by teammate ricciardo who scored twenty points to vergne's thirteen and was subsequently promoted to red bull ahead of vergne for the '14 season.

the '14 season proved to be particularly unlucky for vergne, with five dnfs total, all of which came over the course of eight races. despite this he scored points on seven occasions, giving him his best driver's championship finish with twenty two points, giving him 13th place, more than doubling team mate kvyat's score of eight. all but one of his retirements were from mechanical failure, with the final dnf being caused by collision with pastor maldonado (this was no fault of vergne's and collisions with maldonado were a problem that plagued the entire grid this season).

at the end of the '14 season, vergne was initially to be dropped in favour of max verstappen. sebastian vettel's not-unexpected move to ferrari opened up a space at red bull alongside ricciardo, to which kvyat was promoted, despite vergne reporting that the seat had been promised to him in the event of vettel's departure. this would have left a space for vergne at toro rosso, however, he was ultimately dropped from toro rosso and the seat went to carlos sainz jr. vegrne failed to secure an f1 drive for the '15 season and has not raced in f1 since.

it was reported that in the '14 season, between the australian and malaysian gps, vergne had been hospitalised after starving himself to meet new weight regulations (valtteri bottas, then at williams, has also spoken about the eating/exercise disorder he developed around the same time due to the same regulations). this was particularly a problem for the taller and/or more stockily built drivers - vergne is 6ft, tall for an f1 driver. he weighed 69kg to kvyat's 61kg. mclaren even rejected the idea of signing nico hulkenberg because of his weight. adrian sutil, another tall driver, accused other, smaller drivers of repeatedly blocking rule changes aimed at improving conditions for taller/heavier drives.

jean todt, then president of the fia, dismissed the concerns of the drivers at the time and said, specifically about vergne: "i think normally you can do a good diet and not to have to go to hospital because you have been losing so many kilos. i don't think you go to hospital because you are on a diet."

vergne has said about his time with the red bull family: "i will not attack them, because without them I would not be where I am at the moment, but it is a really difficult story for me. when I started in formula 3, [helmut marko] called me and said: ricciardo has shown you how to do it. if you don’t win the championship, you can leave. [vergne says about a second phone call] i was starting on pole and eventually i won that race, but Marko thought it was unacceptable that i had not also taken the fastest lap. that’s just how he is.” - 2019

"since it was announced mid-year that I would be out of toro rosso it would have looked very bad if, when vettel decided to leave for Ferrari, that he had called me back to go to red bull. during this frank conversation with helmut, i said what if vettel leaves. he told me vettel would not leave. And I said but what if. and he said you’d be the next one to go to red bull. but so yeah… we found out on the saturday or the friday that vettel was going to ferrari and red bull wanted to respond straight away and they announced kyvat in the morning without talking to anyone. it was a tough moment and then of course franz tost wanted to keep him, he wanted an experienced driver together with max but once again red bull could not say we are going to keep vergne and there was another driver coming with carlos sainz so they put him in the car. i wish helmut would have done it as it did with many other drivers and wait until the last race of the season to tell them because if he had waited, with the grands prix i had done before Japan [and vettel’s announcement], i was in a much stronger position to go to red bull racing than kvyat.” - 2021

"i did not smile for three years." - 2019

vergne moved to the newly formed formula e, where he has raced ever since. he is the only driver to have won two formula e world championship titles, which he did back to back in 2018 and 2019. he currently races for ds penske alongside fellow champion stoffel vandoorne.

daniil kvyat, toro rosso (2014), red bull (2015-16), toro rosso/alphatauri (2017, 2019-20), aged 19-25

(serious content warning, this one's really fucking heavy and involves depressive episodes and possible suicidal behaviour. also, sorry if you're a sebastian vettel fan, he's partly to blame here).

kvyat first came to the attention of the red bull junior driver program in 2009, after winning the karting winter cup in the kf3 category. he remained with red bull throught his time in the motorsports feeder series and was given a drive at toro rosso for the '14 season, alongside returning driver vergne.

he had an average rookie season, scoring points on five occasions, with a best finish of ninth, which was significantly outscored (as expected) by his more experienced teammate. all five of his retirements were caused by mechanical failure. depsite this, he was advanced to red bull ahead of vergne, who ultimately failed to secure a drive in f1.

kvyat's '15 season at red bull was impressive for a driver with limited experience. he scored points on all but five occasions and achieved a second-place podium finish, become the second-youngest driver ever to achieve this (at the time). he failed to start on one occasion and dnfed on another due to engine failure. his other dnf, however, came after crashing into teammate ricciardo, whose race was significantly impeded as a result.

despite ricciardo's race win, kvyat outscored his teammate in the '15 season by three points.

in the '16 season, kvyat was demoted to toro rosso after just four races, one of which he failed to start. despite scoring points in bahrain and finishing in third-place in china, red bull opted to swap kvyat and toro rosso driver max verstappen after kvyat's home race of the russian grand prix, in which he finished fifteenth. he struck the ferrari of sebastian vettel at the end of the first lap, retiring vettel's car and severely impeding his own race.

after the chinese gp, vettel slammed kvyat's "suicidal" driving, following his collision with teammate kimi raikkonen on turn one while taking avoiding action around kvyat, despite the stewards taking no action and many suggesting that vettel was in fact to blame. vettel finished second and was in the cool down room ahead of the podium with kvyat when he laid into him on live television. he subsequently dubbed kvyat "the torpedo".

after the russian gp, many news outlets and social media accounts noted that kvyat appeared morose and depressed, as well as reporting that he had removed all information from his social media bio to say "just a human". multiple social media posts from fans described kvyat as looking "suicidal" or stated that red bull/toro rosso must be on "suicide watch".

of the swap, christian horner said: "dany will be able to continue his development at toro rosso, in a team that he is familiar with, giving him the chance to regain his form and show his potential."

kvyat, who many continued to note looked extremely depressed for the rest of the season, score on only three occasions with toro rosso in the '16 season. despite this, and despite speculation that he would be dropped altogether, he was re-signed for the '17 season.

the '17 season went poorly for kvyat, who was plagued with mechanical failures as well as retirements due to driver error. he scored points on only three occasions and was replaced by pierre gasly from the malaysian gp onwards, although he returned for the us gp to replace carlos sainz jr, who had moved to renault, before being replaced again by brendon hartley, with helmut marko confirming that kvyat would not be returning to toro rosso for the '18 season.

despite being considered for williams in the '18 season, kvyat failed to secure a drive and spent the season as ferrari reserve driver.

kvyat rejoined toro rosso ahead of the '19 season, replacing pierre gasly who had been promoted to red bull. he raced alongside rookie teammate alex albon. he put in strong performances, finishing in the points on ten occasions and bringing home a third-place podium at the german gp. however, two of his three retirements were caused by collisions, in one of which kvyat was deemed by the fia to be at fault, adding to his growing, but largely unfair, reputation at "the torpedo" (in the other, ricciardo locked up and collided with kvyat, reversing into him whilst attempting to rejoin the race).

despite his good results, he was outscored in the early part of the season by temmate albon, and kvyat remained at toro rosso whilst albon was promoted mid-season to replace pierre gasly who was demoted.

kvyat continued at toro rosso, now rebranded as alphatauri in the '20 season. despite scoring well, scoring points in seven of the seventeen races (including one shock third place podium, toro rosso’s first since sebastian Vettel in 2008) and retiring only twice (once in a collision, which may have been caused by a tyre puncture rather than driver error, and one with suspension failure), he was outmatched by teammate gasly who claimed the team's first win since sebastian vettel at the italian grand prix. gasly finished the season with more than twice kvyat's total points (seventy-five to kvyat's thirty-two).

alphatauri chose not to renew kvyat's contract for the '21 season, electing instead to give the seat to the rookie yuki tsunoda. kvyat was reserve driver, alongside zhou guanyu, for alpine in the '21 season but has not raced in f1 since.

kvyat has been vocal about his poor treatment by the red bull family, saying: "from toro rosso to red bull, not easy of course. it’s a different f1 team, the top and the midfield has a different mentality. also, very difficult times for the team. everyone was very stressed. It was the opposite of now, now they have a dominant car, at the time, it was one of their worst cars. christan [horner] wasn’t happy. helmut [marko] wasn’t happy. so, they were difficult times at red bull. so to basically help them get through their shittiest times, and then they get rid of you.. but whatever, it was still a great chapter.” - 2023

he also said: "obviously the decision in a way was a bit of a shock also for myself. one week I was standing on the podium and then suddenly there were a few decisions made around. as i said, the bosses make them and I have nothing else but to accept them and do my best job possible now in the team i am with – and it is toro rosso. it should be ok – i think I have done everything correctly until now. and nothing will change from my side [...] i really felt betrayed then, it was a knife in the back, but that’s part of life. sometimes that happens, it’s normal. it is now in the past." - 2023

"the truth is after 2016, i didn’t really want to be there [at toro rosso]. zero motivation. i didn’t like working for them and every time i woke up, i was like, i have to go drive the car again with them. so it wasn’t very enjoyable at the time. in 2017, it was difficult because I had zero motivation and carlos was extremely motivated. and then if you go with this mentality against a motivated carlos, there’s no point. so for me i wish i had a chance with someone else in F1. red bull gave me a lot but since we had our issues, it was very difficult. and I didn’t have a lot of motivation to be there." - 2023

although kvyat entered the world endurance championship in 2022, he was forced to withdraw after the fia introduced limiting conditions to the ability of russian drivers to compete following the russian invasion of ukraine. kvyat called these conditions "unfair and descriminatory." he made three starts in nascar in 2022 and is currently testing in formula e, with a view to gaining a full drive in the '24 season.

carlos sainz jr., toro rosso (2015-17), aged 20-23**

sainz, son of successful rally cross racer carlos sainz sr., joined the red bull junior team in 2010 while racing in formula bmw. he then moved up the feeder series, taking part in the f1 young drivers' test in 2013. he joined the toro rosso team ahead of the '15 season.

in his debut race he qualified inside the top ten and ultimately finished ninth, scoring points. he went on to score points in seven of the ninteen races, only finishing an additional four. all eight of his retirements were caused by technical issues. despite his good results teammate verstappen more than doubled his score and was ultimately advanced to red bull over sainz early in the '16 season.

during his second season at toro rosso, he scored a total of forty six points, two and half times his score of the previous season and more than 2/3 of the teams total points.

in his third season for toro rosso, sainz continued to improve his scores, including a fourth place finish for toro rosso in singapore. despite this, sainz publicly commented that it was "unlikely" that he would stay with toro rosso during the austrian gp. this was refuted by christian horner who insisted that sainz would race for toro rosso in the '18 season.

despite scoring forty eight of toro rosso's fifty two points at that point in the season, sainz was "loaned" to renault from the us grand prix onwards, following the departure of jolyon palmer. he went on to end his relationship with red bull at the end of the season, leaving toro rosso for a full drive at renault.

though sainz has not spoken openly about his relationship with red bull, helmut marko said:

"we did not send sainz away and it is not for nothing that we were once very early to sign him. verstappen and sainz were very well matched, but we had no opportunity to offer him more [than a place at toro rosso]. he was not convinced of the future prospects at toro rosso. he felt he was not moving forward and he did not want to wait any longer. we first loaned him out and then we canceled the contract completely. after all, we did not want to stand in the way of his future." - 2021.

marko has also been critical of the involvement of carlos sainz sr. in his son's career, saying that his father is "one of those motorsports fathers who doesn't look at it objectively, which is understandable, and just always does what he thinks is best for his son." - 2021

sainz's time at renault was regarded as unsuccessful but later moves to mclaren and then ferrari proved fruitful. sainz still races in f1 with ferrari and is now a multiple race-winning driver.

brendon hartley, toro rosso (2017-18), aged 27-30*

hartley arrived in f1 as an fia wec champion, which he had won in 2015.

he had previously worked as a test driver for both red bull (2008-10) and mercedes (2012-13). he was dropped from his role as red bull test driver at the end of 2010, with red bull citing his failure to win a race during that season of formula renault 3.5 (for context, fellow test driver and teammate daniel ricciardo won the series).

he was initially brought in to race in the stead of pierre gasly at the 2017 us gp. gasly was absent in order to compete in the final round of the super formula championship. hartley's qualifying performance was marred by an engine grid drop penalty and he eventually finished the race in thirteenth.

he remained a toro rosso driver for the rest of the season, replacing kvyat. he failed to score any points, and retired in two of the three remaining races with mechanical failure, as well as taking a ten place grid drop penalty for changing power units.

in the '18 season, hartley scored points on only three occasions, finishing the season twenty five points behind teammate pierre gasly. he retired on five occasions, three caused by technical issues. overall his season was marred by a host of car related issues and associated grid drop penalties.

toro rosso announced hartley's replacement with alex albon at the end of the '18 season.

of his time with in the red bull family, hartley has said:

"of course, I would have liked to have stayed longer and kept progressing. i developed a lot during that season and I was doing a very good job at the end of the year. we didn’t have the car to finish in the points all the time. i learnt so much from that season. some things were tough. [...] sometimes some of the questions the media was asking or rumours. Sometimes you are under the microscope. i didn't always enjoy that. but again, it taught me a lot and it made me a lot stronger as a driver coming out the other side of that. i look back really only positively. absolutely no regrets. i gave it my best shot. there are only 20 cars on the grid." - 2023

hartley went on to drive a brief stint in formula e. he has continued in endurance racing and now holds three wec titles and three 24hrs of le mans titles, and like buemi is one of the most decorated drivers racing outside of f1.

pierre gasly, toro rosso (2017), red bull (2018-19), toro rosso/alphatauri (2019-2022), aged 21-26**

(serious content warning, this one covers the death of anthonie hubert).

gasly joined the red bull junior drivers team whilst competing in formula renault 3.5 in 2014. he was named red bull reserve driver in 2015 and made one appearance in formula e at the 2017 new york eprix, racing for renault. gasly made his debut in f1 for toro rosso in 2017 at the malaysian gp, replacing daniil kvyat, however he was forced to miss the us gp as he was racing concurrently in the super formula championship, the final round of which clashed. he failed to score any points in the five races he drove in in the '17 season, but did finish every race.

in the '18 season, he was given the drive at toro rosso alongside brendon hartley. he impressed, bringing home a total of twnty-nine points (compared to hartley's four) and scoring points on five occasions. three of his five dnfs were caused by mechanical failure, and of the two collisions, one was not gasly's fault as grosjean's tyres created a smoke screen eliminating both gasly and hulkenberg who were unable to see.

gasly was promoted to red bull for the '19 season, after daniel ricciardo left the team to go to renault. despite finishing in the points on nine occasions, with only two retirements (one due to mechanical failure, the other crashing into toro rosso driver alex albon), gasly was demoted to toro rosso ahead of the italian gp (the thirteenth round). this was after poor qualifying results, a couple of crashes and being lapped by teammate verstappen at the hungarian gp, who was much outperforming him (surprising no one). both christian horner and helmut marko confirmed that gasly would stay at red bull until the end of the season when rumours that gasly would be demoted began circumlating, but this proved to be false.

christian horner said of the demotion that the team needed to be able to "make an informed decision as to who will drive alongside max [verstappen] in 2020" and that "we desperately need [gasly] realising more of the potential of the car."

an ex-f1 senior systems engineer at red bull, although he professes to have heard this second hand, has also claimed on social media that Gasly got “quite vocal with adrian [newey] over the set-up of the car. it became a bit of a shouting match in the garage and then once that happened you know in front of Marko and that it was back to the sister team you go.” - Dan - EngineMode11 (on social media)

ahead of the belgian gp, his first race since being demoted, gasly's "best mate", anthoine hubert, was killed in the f2 support race. gasly was particularly affected by the death. christian horner sought out gasly ahead of the race and, self-reportedly said: "so all i could do was try to offer some support and say that anthoine was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and 'if he had the opportunity to be racing the formula 1 car that you're in tomorrow, he would have grabbed that opportunity with both hands."

despite the demotion, gasly achieved five more points finishes, including one second-place podium, toro rosso's best finish since sebastian vettel in 2008. he scored thirty two points for toro rosso (and ninty-five overall) compared to teammate kvyat's ten in the same period.

gasly was retained by the team for the '20 season and following the rebrand to alphatauri, again alongside kvyat. he scored points on ten occasions, with three dnfs (twice due to mechanical failure and once in a multi-car pile up). his early success, even before his win at the italian gp, led to widespread speculation that he would be promoted back to red bull after showing much improvement.

at the italian gp, gasly finished first, scoring toro rosso's second ever win. this was made possible through taking advantage of an early safety car and lewis hamilton receiving a penalty. even so, gasly demonstrated skill in overtaking lance stroll and holding off a charging carlos sainz jr. though franz tost praised gasly, he dismissed the possibility of him returning to red bull any time soon. he scored 75 points total that season, outscoring kvyat.

gasly dedicated his win to anthoine hubert, who he revealed had texted him ahead of the '20 belgium gp with the words "prove them wrong", which became a personal mantra.

despite his success, and the firing of alex albon, gasly was passed over for promotion to red bull. instead, the seat went to non-red bull family driver sergio perez.

he continued to impress in the '21 season, scoring a total of one hundred and ten championship points and securing a third place podium, as well as outscoring rookie teammate tsunoda (as expected), and was again passed-over for promotion in favour of retaining perez, who had received mixed reviews.

a visibly frustrated gasly did not score as well in the '22 seson, partly owing to an uncompetitive car. he scored only twenty three points and left alphatauri of his own volition for a drive at alpine in the '23 season. he was replaced by rookie nyck de vries.

gasly has been vocal about his treatement by red bull, even during his time at alphatauri (which many believe to be part of the reason he was repeatedly passed over for promotion).

of his time with the red bull family, gasly has said: " "from the moment I made my first mistake in a car, i felt like people there slowly began to turn on me. i'd had a crash in winter testing and from that moment on the season never really got going. then i had a tough first two races with red bull and the media just ate me up. anything i said in the press was twisted into an excuse for my form, and nobody really stuck up for me. the car wasn’t perfect and i was doing my best to try to improve and learn each week. but here’s what i’ll say about it – it was a difficult time for me at red bull because i didn’t feel like i was really supported and treated the same way as others there have been. And for me, that’s something i just can’t accept. i was working my ass off every day, trying to get results for the team, but i was not being given all the tools i needed to succeed. i would try to offer solutions but my voice wasn’t heard, or it would take weeks to see changes. for whatever reason, i was never going to be a fit in that seat — it was just never going to work. i’m not the type of person to start stuff in the media because i am truly grateful to red bull for the chance, as well as for everything they have done for me in my career. i really am. but i’m allowed to tell my truth.” - 2021

gasly now races at alpine alongside esteban ocon.

(personal aside, i find what christian horner said to pierre after anthoine hubert's death horrifying and morally bankrupt. if someone has lost their best friend in a racing accident on the same track they are due to race in the following day, there should be no form of pressure on them whatsoever to race. staff at red bull have repeatedly referred to, directly or indirectly, drivers wanting to cancel a race or to choose not to race personally following a major accident as some kind of cowardly. this is simply not true and it is my opinion that they should be publicly reprimanded by the fia and their peers for such behaviour).

alex albon, toro rosso (2019), red bull (2019-20), aged 22-24

albon became part of the red bull academy in 2012, but was dropped the same year. initially he was contracted to appear in formula e in the '19 season, racing with nissan, but his contract was cancelled to allow him to race for toro rosso in f1.

in his debut season, albon raced for toro rosso for only twelve races before being promoted to red bull, to replace the demoted gasly. his results had been fair to good, scoring points on five occasions, with a best finish of sixth. he retired only once in a collision that was no fault of his own.

after being promoted ahead of the belgian gp, albon finished in the points on all but one occasion, with a best finish of fourth, though he failed to gain a podium place (the goal for red bull at the time). his fourteenth place finish came after being struck and sent into spin by hamilton.

in the '20 season, albon finished in the points on all but four occasions, gaining two third-place podiums. both dnfs were caused by mechanical failure. he brought home a total of 105 points and finished seventh in the championship. despite these ostensibly good results, especially for someone who had only raced two seasons in f1, albon was dropped ahead of the '21 season after being significantly outperformed by teammate verstappen.

about his time at red bull, albon has said: "this isn’t to throw shade at anyone at red bull racing or max or anything, honestly. but the car is set up in a unique way that is built around the lead driver, and that’s max. and, look, i totally get why. i mean, when all is said and done, he might be the greatest driver of all time. but he has a very distinct style of driving, and he likes the car set up a certain way that’s hard for a lot of drivers to sync up with. of course, you can tinker and tweak your own car, but just the red bull in general is suited to max’s style. i like a lot of front end and nose. I’ve been teammates with george and charles and i've always had way more nose than them. and when i got into the red bull … i mean there was so much nose on the thing that if you blew on the wheel the car would turn. if you play call of duty, or a game like that, turn your sensitivity up to the highest it will go. that’s what it’s like to drive that car." - 2023

he has also said "it was the experience that was missing." - 2022

albon remained at red bull as reserve driver for the '21 season , as well as taking on a coaching role for rookie alphatauri driver yuki tsunoda, before securing a drive at williams for the '22 season. he continues to race there.

nyck de vries, alphatauri (2023), aged 28*

prior to racing in f1, nyck de vries raced in formula e for mercedes, where he was crowned champion in 2021. he also served as a test driver for mercedes f1, williams and aston martin.

he made his debut in f1 racing for williams in 2022 after being called up as reserve driver to race in place of alex albon, who was suffering from appendicitis.

he impressed during his debut, scoring points after finishing in ninth and being awarded driver of the day by fans.

despite much speculation that he would sign for williams in 2023, replacing nicholas latifi, de vries was successfully poached by alphatauri, replacing pierre gasly.

de vries failed to score any points in his races for alphatauri, with his highest finish being twelfth. he retired once due to driver error. after early speculation that he would lose his seat, he was dropped less than half way through the season after the end of the british grand prix, alphatauri forgoing the typical season's grace afforded to rookies. he was replaced by daniel ricciardo.

though de vries has yet to speak in any detail about his time with the red bull family, christian horner has said that the decision was made to replace him after daniel ricciardo performed well in eleven laps of testing. he said: "it all happened a little quicker than expected, bearing in mind we hadn’t completed the test [...] helmut spoke with nyck – you know, he was the one that obviously had recruited him – so he was the one that spoke with nyck about lap 11 of the test it was becoming a difficult situation for nyck, but there was a high expectation on him because, whilst inexperienced in formula 1, he’s obviously a very experienced driver. i think there was a general feeling that nyck wasn’t quite hitting the mark. and then the question was, what are the options if we were to switch things around? the situation was clear. It was a question of, okay, what’s the point in waiting? that would have meant obviously leaving him in the car until after the summer break."

de vries has since returned to formula e with mahindra racing.

so there you have it, the complete(ish) history of red bull crimes against their drivers, going all the way back to the beginning. i hope that you take this information and use it to make an informed decision about whether you personally want to support red bull and/or alphatauri in f1 (as teams, not the drivers individually). i personally cannot support any red bull family team in f1 because of this history of psychological/emotional abuse of their drivers and work place bullying. i am aware that this behaviour is not unique to red bull, but red bull display possibly the most extensive history of it, despite only coming into being in 2005. likewise they have made no effort to correct or acknowledge their wrongdoings.

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simaddix · 1 year

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*Pay Attention*

I might lose some popularity over this, but I'm not entirely concerned over that - what I am concerned about is people who play this game who aren't creators or who don't test every piece of content they put in their games, and their computers which they paid good money for.

I know as a creator how quickly polycount can rise, and I also know how much it sucks to lose details because you're trying to keep polycount low. But let me show you something -

Do you see a difference in these? Look closely, really study it for a second.

One has 14,077 poly. One has 4,014.

You tell me which one is which.

Here's the thing, I downloaded a beautiful set that I knew had to be high poly simply by looking at it. I always drool over this particular creator (and others) BECAUSE their stuff is beautiful, I get it. I'm an addict like all the rest of ya. Knowing this, I checked each mesh and was disappointed to yet again find thousands of polys on these meshes. One was over 35,000 polys for a decorative item.

That's stupid.

I decimated this object down to 4K without it losing any quality. I've done this with several items in my game because there's NO POINT in having 10,000 extra faces or more for the game to carry for absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

Please, creators - converters - players and downloaders, pay attention to what you're putting in your system. If you can lower the polycount when you're converting to TS3, take the extra step and do so. I have a tutorial on my page - it takes a few minutes to click a button a few times and maybe separate parts of the mesh to help it out a bit. If you're going to put it out for download as is, PLEASE for the love of all things holy put a disclaimer on it TELLING people that it has thousands of polycounts in it, so they can at least be aware of the bomb they're adding to their mods folders.

We all like to cram a bunch of crap into our games and decorate to our hearts content, but stuff like this puts our systems and save files at LITERAL risk. If you have an amazing computer to handle it (I have an amazing computer to handle it) great, but not everyone does. Keep that shit in mind before you release something with the digital weight of an elephant.

That is all, feel free to unfollow me if you have a problem with me probing into your shit. Have a great day.

#ts3

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blood-grove · 1 month

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//body horror, monster! 141 + reader , death, gn!reader

other; c/n = callsign

a/n: idk how the military works neither do igaf much also this story was not planned this was just something i needed to get out of my system do nto expect it to be good

Shapeshifter!Reader whos always since they were a kid felt itch that there skin was ready to shed and peel like a snake, Who always felt like there body wasn't right had to be perfect flaws and all because that was human.

But they weren't human, weren't hybrid either.

The first time they had ever shifted they were eleven there Father in one of his moods again taking it out on there poor mother.

Something inside them itched at that moment hearing her cries there old dog bite injury felt like it was on fire now as they itched and scratched at it till the skin gave way giving the breathing room for transformation.

The next time they open there eyes they were being kicked there Mother sobbing as she screamed.

Father laid dead mauled beyond recognition.

Did you do that?

Why was she screaming at you?

You were kicked into the foster system the next day narrowly avoiding Juvenile detention your mother had given her last bit of gratitude by explaining to the police that you were defending her you thought she'd praise you after the police left.

You were packing your clothes that night.

You got a DNA test when you arrived due to your mothers alibi to the police.

Human.

They figured it too your mother being clearly traumatized and you sudden violent act of self defense could have made her see anything at moment.

Still didnt explain the injuries that only a dog could cause.

You were 15 when you had a good grasp on what you were.

By 18 you were barely you anymore picked pieces from other peoples faces and bodies till you felt like you looked normal.

By 19 your mother had passed the news reached you slow and the grief went slower.

By 21 you've already been in the military for a while now, If that means with a new face and body each time some higher up sticks there nose into your business then so be it.

Shifting from human to human was easy the more you practiced it.

More harder things like non-humans and animals were doable but animals were getting easier and easier.

You've tried been a K9 once didnt work out for long.

You've had a few nice call signs.

Few you quickly forgot.

[c/s]

Thats been nice to be called recently.

Oh.

Right.

You should focus your meeting your new task force.

Right.

We should focus.

Woof.

Heh.

Its been a few days and wow these guys were something.

Did you mention they were monsters?

Not in a negative way of course.

But getting to know them while they were around base was nice.

Gaz you felt was the easier to get to know the harpy felt open, Talked about how they've never had a human on the team before.

Nice.

Threw Gaz you got to know Soap, You felt like the man was holding back the calm energy around him felt forced at times as the days past both of them seemed to get to know you better and you got to know them better as well.

As for the Captain and Lieutenant you were honestly nervous,

Price had a welcoming aura to him his voice gruff and firm you warmed up to him soon enoug.

Ghost?

You tried.

And shuffled away every time he looked at you.

He noticed.

He noticed?.

You eventually did warm up to Ghost!

You realized he wasn't glaring at you for once and tried to talk to him it was..awkward to many silences but it was a conversation.

So you and him were okay.

Were you okay now weeks later slowly making your place into the team?

No.

You were itching beyond belief this wasn't a good sign—

Actually you didn't even know what kind of sign this was.

You had all just gotten back from a particular rough mission a few more injuries than you all would like you got a few stitches in your arm and every since you could just feel them moving.

Being shifted around stubbornly as if they were a dam in a river.

You couldn't do that here.

You were in the confines of your own room but what if one of them walked in?

Would they report you?

Get you kicked for the military?

Maybe if you could just shift slightly enough to easy the unease under your skin.

The sound of cracking bone was sure to grab attention.

But surely you could just pass it off as stretching?

You could not pass it off as stretching and you were currently hiding in the rafters near sobbing.

Gaz had came in to check on you and caught you half shifted you panicked and lunged at him or the door you couldn't remember you were pretty sure one of your bones were jutting out of your skin as it readjusted into place.

You didn't hurt him.

You were just hoping you could calm yourself enough to shift into something smaller and run away shift into a new person new age try again at childhood maybe?

Maybe you panicking too much?

There also monsters they'd understand?

You didn't mean to lie about what you were.

You just.

The fear of the unknown paralyzed you to afraid of what'll happen what people will think.

You know you could be a threat.

Someone able to take face and shape of anyone?

You could understand if you were saw that way.

But you didn't want to be seen that way.

Every since your mother stared you down in fear not admiration not even shock.

Fear.

You knew you could never let someone look at you that way again.

Not someone you cared about.

Maybe if you hid away long enough they'd forget.

Memories fade.

Faces fade from recognition.

But that's all what you wished what have happened.

Now you were in a awkward stare off with Gaz not to subtly watched your arm pop and snap back into place along with your head.

"I see I should have knocked.."

"Yeah you should have."

A voice of not your own replied.

You hated when your body was out of sync.

You were using the wrong voice again, rearranging your own brain and vocal cords was odd.

Odder when one of your new teammates watched.

"Are- Are you okay?-"

"No" Ghost's voice replied.

"Oh..I-..Er..Do you..need a medic I.."

"No" Your own voice replied finally.

"Can you please leave..My ribs are still not in place and I doubt you'd want to see how that works."

He left.

Probably to tell Price rather then not wanting to see you basically play with your own rib cage like tuning a piano.

a/n; idk where this was going i did not plan this out i just wrote it on a whim

#cod #reader #task force 141 #cod 141 #simon ghost riley #captain john price #john price #soap cod #john soap mactavish #cod ghost #gaz garrick #gaz cod #monster 141 #gn reader

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solar-sunnyside-up · 6 months

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Community Fridges-

A community fridge is a fridge located in a public space (on private land). Sometimes called freedges, they are a type of mutual aid project that enables food to be shared within a community. They require a small group of volunteers to run and require a fair bit of organizing but otherwise run fairly passively as a mutual aid project!

History-

2015- Starting up as a response to food insecurity in Germany by a group called "Foodsharing" and quickly started popping up places like Spain, New Zealand, India, Israel, the Netherlands, and Canada particularly as Covid picked up.

2020- As Covid hit the world there was a sudden boom across countries, particularly the states, where they where very suddenly established.

In New York City, community fridges, nicknamed “Friendly Fridges,” were introduced. The first one placed by an activist group, In Our Hearts. In Our Hearts has now set up at least 14 of the 70 fridges around New York City.

In Cincinnati Travis Mcelroy working with the vollunteers to fill Community pantries and Fridges with Covid Tests and Hygiene supplies like menstruation products, toothpaste, shampoo, etc.. across the city. Highlighting their location and use ages when they where needed most.

In Thailand, entrepreneur Supakit Kulchartvijit's Pantry of Sharing pantry cabinets, a variation on the community fridges, was launched in Bangkok and Rayong

Now most cities have at least one established fridge somewhere hidden in an alley if nothing else. In addition to an uptick in Food Pantries.

What can I do?

You can either find an already established one through a bunch of sites such as freedge.org or changex.or or your can start a fridge, this will take research into your particular area but here are some guides based on country at least

If your in the states- How to Guide

If your in canada- how to guide

If your in UK- How to guide

(i know this is v commonwealth centric but its the places i have the best idea of the legal system and therefore can trust the resources im sorry yall!)

#reaping week #ref #sprout guide #food #community #projects #solarpunk #hopepunk #anticapitalism #mutual aid

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torchship-rpg · 3 months

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Dev Diary 13 - New Subsystems

Alright, it’s been a while since our last Dev Diary, because we’re been doing a lot of rewriting (and because medical stuff delayed my ability to write a lot for a while). We’re currently working on writing up a new playable draft of the game incorporating lessons learned from the hasty Metatopia rewrite, building new systems to achieve what the first draft did in a smaller and better footprint.

With that in mind, I thought I’d talk about two new subsystems added to the game to make running things smoother in response to playtests, which helps mechanise some of the more abstract issues and sticking points in test games; sensor rules and factions.

Sensors & Scale

In my experience, an issue that arises in almost any Star Trek inspired roleplaying game is that most players are naturally much more cautious than the protagonists of your average television show, and correspondingly are more likely to sit snug in their spaceship for longer and roll lots of scanning rolls when the exciting story thing would be to go and take a look directly (and thus get in interesting trouble). This was a problem that occurred in some of the old playtest Torchship quests, in the metatopia games, and even in some of my brushes with Star Trek Adventures and other similar RPGs long ago.

To get around this, we’ve written up a system for sensors in Torchship which makes it very explicit what they can and can’t discover called Scale. Every sensor has one or more Scales it operates at, in a scale from 1 (microscopic) to 8 (interstellar telescope). This gives both a range you can see things from, and what information you can discover from that distance.

Under this system, a scanner which can gather information from farther away will, inherently, gather less specific information than one which scans closer. A Scale 4 scanner which works on ranges of tens and hundreds of kilometres is also one which lacks the resolution to easily recognize individual people or tools, so if you wanted to find a specific person you’re going to struggle doing it with that Scale of scanner. Fortunately, your hand scanner is a Scale 2-3 device which is perfect for that sort of work, thought limited in range to metres and kilometres so you’ll need to actually get off your butt and into the adventure.

These are soft limits, not hard stops; you can take penalties to scan beyond your normal range or for finer detail than you can normally identify, and higher-tech scanners are better for this because they roll more dice to absorb those penalties, but these limitations mean that gathering the information you need to fill out Checklists and complete objectives will often require you to go down and point a hand scanner at it, or even gather samples to take back to the microscope lab on the rocket.

Of particular note is the ‘orbital gap’, a deliberate hole in the system between Scale 4 and Scale 5. When you’re in low orbit trying to scan the surface of a world, you will almost always be doing with at least one Range penalty, and probably more because high-tech Scale 4 sensors are uncommon on most large spacecraft. This very purposefully makes it inconvenient to just wait upstairs until you roll good enough to see what you want to see; at the very least you will want to take out your shuttle to get close enough to use it without penalty.

You get to choose which scales your spacecraft’s sensors have when you do character creation, which has lots of interesting implications as you try to fit it into the limited options. Do you leave a gap in your sensor coverage in the midband for wider coverage? Do you mount smaller sensors you have to get very close to use? Do you sacrifice some of your short-range detail for long range resolution?

This also makes it easy for us to build sensors into other tools, sensors you can repurpose. Your point defence turrets might have lower-tech specialised radar emplacements at Scale 4 for picking up and tracking incoming missiles, for example, and when you encounter something invisible to your tachyon sensors it makes perfect sense to repurpose it!

A Star Patrol vehicle with a massive tachyon sensor pickup ideal for scanning other star systems across interstellar space, but which is probably going to have a bit of difficulty focusing on something tiny right in front of it.

Factions

The other portion of new mechanics has to do with the diplomatic and political side of the game. As we sat down with the new draft, we made a bunch of notes as we looked over what, exactly, this game needed from first principles before re-adding things, and we came back around to the conclusion that the game should explicitly and distinctly focus on three spheres of Exploration, Politics, and Combat, each of which should have dedicated subsystems which could carry an entire campaign on their own.

We had a strong scientific element in the Checklists and we have interesting combat mechanics, but Politics was lacking in that; while we had ways for players to interact with groups, we didn’t have much mechanical distinction for what those groups were or how they related to one another. This is where the new Factions mechanic comes in.

When you visit a society in conflict, you will find multiple Factions there. Each Faction is a simple mechanical framework for a movement or ideology inside the society that wants something, with a defined membership and a reason they want to have power over their society. Key to this is the Faction’s Influence, a single arbitrary number that tells you how much power the Faction has over their society.

The faction with the greatest Influence is the Ruling Faction, and they matter because the Ruling Faction is the only one whose promises to Star Patrol get kept at the end of the Episode. You can negotiate trade deals for a planet’s titanium reserves with the labour unions all you want; if the Labour faction isn’t in charge by the end of the episode, you don’t get anything from it.

This is coupled with the fact that every Faction has a simple binary opinion of Star Patrol; either they like and trust you or they don’t. Factions are like pilots in that way, though unlike pilots they do have object permanence in the sense that they remember Promises. Promises are mechanically binding agreements to give things to one another, though they only get upheld if the Faction likes you at the end of the Episode (and, again, if they are the Ruling Faction).

If you want to negotiate with a Faction, you have to exchange Promises; Factions don’t do anything for free no matter how well you roll, though you can still negotiate with communication rolls to get better deals. Promises can be immediate aid, like getting supplies for your rocket or their support in a mission, but they can also be resources over long terms at the end of the Episode, in the form of Credits from you and valuable resources, political alliances, or military aid from them.

What makes things interesting is that a Ruling Faction which does not have the majority of the Influence in play with all the Activate Factions is unstable. When things are unstable, Factions have a tendency to make lots of big promises to Star Patrol in exchange for help, often blindly agreeing to trade away things they really need because having the local superpower arbitrate their conflict and hopefully decide in their favour (or even just put the issue to rest, honestly) is worth more to them now than material riches or obligations that are currently meaningless to them.

An unstable society is a big opportunity for the Star Union, but one you have to navigate with care.

#torchship ttrpg #dev diary #ttrpg #torchship #rpg

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takeme-totheworld · 4 months

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Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 3: You Think Too Much

This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 4 here.

I have been so gratified by the response to these so far! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and commenting and reblogging, I'm really happy that my thoughts about this are speaking to people.

Same disclaimers from before apply: this is all based on parallels to my personal experience with religion, my biblical and theological takes (when I have them) are probably sloppy, and I haven't read the GO book so this is all based solely on the show.

Aziraphale shows a level of emotional distress about Heaven's bullshit that we don't really see from the other angels. I wouldn't be surprised if some of this is because he is one of the main POV characters, and we eventually discover that he's not the only angel grappling with this stuff. But I do think he's fairly atypical. He's a demonstration of something often observed by people who leave super dogmatic religions: A system designed to keep people ignorant is extra hard on the ones who think too much.

It's a big part of what makes Aziraphale a misfit in Heaven. The archangels regularly respond to his ideas and concerns with annoyance, dismissiveness, and patronizing non-answers. When they come to Earth to confront him in season one, Uriel flat-out tells him, "You think too much." They are constantly communicating that they don't like this about him.

This aspect of Aziraphale isn't just because he's spent so much time on Earth, or with Crowley. It's clearly innate. We see it before the fall, when he tried to warn Crowley about asking questions. A different angel might have shrugged the whole conversation off and flown away, or unthinkingly blabbed about it to the wrong person later, or even deliberately snitched. But Aziraphale was already thinking independently enough of what he'd been taught to conclude (1) that this could get Crowley in trouble, and (2) that he didn't want that to happen because it wouldn't be deserved.

We also see it when he gives the sword away. Would it have occurred to most other angels to worry about Adam and Eve's survival? As they’ve been depicted so far, it seems like most of the angels—if they thought about it at all—would think, "That's not my business. It's up to God's whether they live or die." Not because they're necessarily all callous jerks, but because that's how they've been trained to (not) think about things. But Aziraphale thinks too much. That's always been who he is, he can't help it.

So what happens to a person who can't help thinking too much, who is caught up in a system that punishes that tendency? Often, you get someone who twists themself into mental and emotional knots to try to make sense of what they're experiencing.

Here’s are some things Aziraphale knows, or at least thinks he knows, in no particular order:

God created everything, is in charge of everything, and knows everything.

Aziraphale is an angel, and he works for Heaven, and Heaven’s sole purpose is to carry out God’s will.

God is good and Heaven are the good guys, so in addition to carrying out God's will his purpose is to be a force for good.

Sometimes angels who go against God’s will are kicked out and declared enemies. No one to whom this has happened to has ever come back. On the other hand, sometimes angels who go against God’s will get to go on being angels.

Sometimes humans behave wickedly and God harms or kills them as punishment. Other times, humans behave wickedly and God doesn’t do anything.

Sometimes humans behave righteously and God harms or kills them anyway (or lets Satan do it). This is apparently a test, but not all righteous people get tested like this.

Sometimes humans are sent to hell to be punished forever after their deaths. Sometimes they aren’t. This has something to do with how wicked they were during their lives, but Aziraphale isn't actually clear on how it works (see the Edinburgh minisode).

And while Good Omens hasn't delved deeply into this topic (yet), we know that both Jesus and the Second Coming are canonically real in this universe, which means the whole “Jesus died so that God could forgive people’s sins” thing is as well.* So, a few thousand years into Aziraphale's time living on Earth, God's son became a human, lived a life among humans, and then died, all for the express purpose of doing some kind of ineffable forgiveness miracle that would save more of the humans from Hell.

* I have no definite proof of this, Neil might decide to go totally off-script with the theology, but that wouldn't be in line with what he's done so far. This show has an established MO of examining existing religious stories and doctrines in order to deconstruct them. So, knowing season three is going to be about the Second Coming, I would honestly be very surprised if we didn't get some Gaiman and Pratchett style deconstruction of the crucifixion and all the forgiveness of sins stuff.

It's a complete mindfuck. He's serving a totally capricious system in which punishment vs. forgiveness is what everything hinges on, but only God knows how they are being applied, whether there's any rhyme or reason to it at all. The other angels seem content not to think about it, but Aziraphale is not most angels.

He's supposed to be protecting and guiding humanity, securing souls for Heaven, but he doesn't know exactly how the souls are judged. His best friend is a demon who is serving an eternal punishment for—something (asking questions? rebelling?)—and he has no idea if he will ever be pardoned, if such a thing even could happen or what it would take. He's committed numerous transgressions himself without ever falling, but that doesn't mean the next one won't be the thing that finally gets him cast out.

There are surely a lot of ways one could react to a situation like this. But for someone who is deeply inside the system and committed to it and whose overactive mind is working extremely hard to square all the confusion and fear of his situation with the idea that he's working for The Good Guys?

I think Aziraphale has come to live in constant fear of being Unforgiven, of one day transgressing so horribly that there's no possibility of redemption. And I think he is constantly projecting that fear onto everyone around him. It's why he lies his ass off to Heaven to cover his mistakes and broken rules. It's why he openly wishes, on multiple occasions, for Crowley to be granted forgiveness from God even though Crowley himself is visibly antagonistic to the idea. And it's why he feels compelled to forgive others even when it hurts to do so. (Like when he's just had a horrible fight with his best friend/the love of his life and he's overwrought and angry and not actually feeling forgiving at all, for example. Or when his memory-wiped ex-boss who once tried to have him executed suddenly shows up on his doorstop needing help.) Because forgiveness is such a powerful force in his world that withholding it feels like an unspeakably cruel thing to do, and he's supposed to be one of the good guys.

Once again I have written so many more words than I intended to, but I'm finally coming up on the end of this series! Part four will be the last part of this, where I look at specific instances of Aziraphale and forgiveness in more detail.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #character analysis #aziraphale #religious indoctrination #religious trauma #forgiveness #i forgive you

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pokemonshelterstories · 3 months

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You've probably answered this before but what exactly is a shiny mill

I know that it is a bad thing but i don't know what exactly about it makes it bad

i'm gonna expand on this and talk about pokemon mills in general. pokemon mills are breeding facilities that focus more on the profit they can obtain from selling offspring than on breeding healthy pokemon, bringing them up in a positive environment, and placing them in a good home. these can focus on a variety of aspects of pokemon- breeding rare pokemon, breeding pokemon for competition level stats, breeding pokemon for particular characteristics...and this includes breeding for shinies regardless of whether those pokemon will have good quality of life. those kinds of breeding facilities are called shiny mills.

there are a variety of reasons why breeding mills are bad, but here are just a couple:

there is little genetic testing for things like inherited health conditions, and there is little tracking of temperament across generations. competitive breeding mills do sometimes run some tests for certain aspects of health, but they don't look for anything that couldn't impact competitive viability.

because they're looking to produce as many viable pokemon to sell as possible, breeders who focus on specific genetic traits will inbreed pokemon to preserve those traits. shiny mills and competitive mills are notorious for this

they rarely vet potential customers, as they're looking to sell as many pokemon as possible regardless of whether someone can care for a pokemon. this gets really important with some of those popular but difficult to care for pokemon like zorua and mimikyu

the conditions that the breeding pokemon are kept in are typically not up to welfare standards. a few examples: breeding females are bred as often as possible regardless of when they've last laid; breeding pokemon are given the bare minimum they need to be sexually productive, but are often lacking in space and enrichment; social pokemon are weaned too early so they can be sold as quickly as possible and allow the female to be bred as soon as possible

pokemon that don't meet sale requirements are often dumped- filling up the shelter system, creating invasive species, and leading to pokemon who become nuisances and take up the resources of rangers/might end up being euthanized

responsible breeders often have long wait lists, and they aren't in it for the money- breeding pokemon responsibly is EXPENSIVE. when profit takes priority over good practices, that's when you've got a mill.

#charlietalks #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #pokemon breeding #pokemon neglect #pokemon abuse #pokemon euthanasia

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diefxrguns · 1 year

Text

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐄𝐓

✯pairings- erwin smith x afab!reader

✯a/n- might be some mistakes, apologies. Do not share on tiktok without my permission. not glamourising pedophilia, Y/N is 18

✯synopsis- your teacher develops strong feelings for a specific girl in his classroom

✯ c/w- smut, teacher x student relationship. choking, spanking, and more- not comfortable? dont read.

"teacher's pet, if I'm so "special. Why am I a secret?" ✧

Your eyes couldn't concentrate on the board infront of you, never in your life have you felt this way for somebody.

Despite all the love letters from boys in your class and offers to go out on dates, boys your age-just didn't do it for you. Ya know.

There was always something about older fellows, but not to old. Maybe 25-35 since you were 18. It was appropriate after all- well for some people atleast.

Your mother would die if she saw the things that kept you up at night, on your laptop a stash of porn videos. All in the same category of porn. You had a thing for manthers, not the creepy pedophilic one's. The men who are like 30 with 20 year old girlfriends. Sounds normal right.

So when your new teacher entered the classroom, you almost fell out of your seat. His arms, his hair, everything about this man was just so fucking sexy.

He wore a blue button up shirt, that was long sleeved, but the sleeves were rolled up a bit- revealing his toned forearms. His pants were black and his blonde hair was combed back.

He had to be in his early 30's, but my God did he look so delicious.

He's an English, History and Biology teacher so he would be teaching you English and History, since those are the classes you had.

He started off by introducing himself, and went straight to work. Instructing the class to open their books on page 116. He got down to business, you could tell he was one- track minded.

His voice was so deep and demanding, but somewhat calm and smooth. He explained the work diligently. Making sure everyone understood the English lesson- before dismissing the class and closing the whiteboard marker.

As the days passed you did nothing but gawk at him, in classes you barley even payed attention. And oh- he knew you weren't listening. How your pretty eyes just stared into space, he knew exactly what you were looking at. He's way smarter then he looks.

There was one particular day, after class. You were looking at him the whole time, and he knew- but it bugged him because exams were coming up and you never took notes once. He knew your grades were sky high, and he didn't want you to fail your examinations. So he called you after class.

" Miss Y/N, please stay behind and take a seat" he said, as you were on your way out the classroom.

" Yes" you said in timid voice because of how shy and slightly intimidated you were

The older man sat on a chair opposite you, his back hunched and his elbows on his knees, he removed his glasses and looked you directly in the eye

" You're not paying attention, you think I don't know, you think I don't see how much you're looking into space during my lessons"

" Mr Smith, I'm really sorry " you said with fake sympathy, in all honesty you didn't give a fuck about his lessons. He's eye candy- who wouldn't look at him.

"Your results went from 93 to 50, your practice test results where lower then I expected. A five star student, became mediocre over night. I advise you tell me what's on your mind Y/N" he said straightening his posture and leaning back, never breaking eye contact with you

" Mr Smith, I've just been distracted lately, ya know, Like something is really troubling me". What you just said was true, something was bugging you. Everytime this fine ass man opens his mouth, breathes or even looks your way you cream your pants, leaving a stain on your lacey panties. That's the real problem.

" Ah, I see. Well, as your teacher I suppose you need to trust me with whatever it is you're going through. You need to get it out of your system so we can work through this" he said

" Well, I...um, i- I got dumped by my ex boyfriend and.. well he, he really hurt me. Its bothered me alot" you lied through your teeth, you never had a boyfriend. You just said that so that Erwin could feel sorry for you.

Immediately Erwin stood up and knelt down to your level, holding your hand gently. In this moment your heart was racing, you didn't know how to react.

What the fuck was actually going on here? Your teacher( crush) was kneeling down holding your hand, this was to much to handle.

" Y/N, I need you to not focus on other boys ok- they're a waste of time, I need you to think about bigger things. Like college and a husband maybe? You need a man that's going to take care of you, love you..."

Your chest was rising up and down as you took intense breathes, he was so close to you. His warmth was radiating off his big body onto your smaller one.

" After school I'll take you to my place, so that I can prepare you for upcoming examinations... Sound ok?" He asked as he stood up fixing his tie and getting his things

" ye-yes, it sounds awesome" you said standing up in a hurry and giving your teacher a big smile.

Everyday afterschool Erwin took you to his home.

He lived in a very spacious house, it was small but modern and fancy. A two story home with two bedrooms and two bathrooms.

He had two cats aswell, a grey one and a white one. Grey one named Oscar and the white one named Bunny.

His home smelled like vanilla and sandalwood, it was clean with grey and white accents. He obviously lived alone, but damn how can such a handsome and astound man be single.

He sat you at the dining room table with your books and tutored you, and helped you make notes for your exams.

He spent three hours after school tutoring you.

You were beyond grateful for this opportunity, because it made you and Erwin closer.

Even though you never really spoke about personal things, subconsciously your souls were somewhat aligned. Almost like you had a connection that you couldn't explain or describe, you just felt comfortable around each other.

A little to comfortable

After examinations, you stopped going to Erwin's home. There was no need afterall, I mean he stopped tutoring you because exams were over.

In all honesty you missed it, you missed him. So one afternoon you went to his house to give him some treats, just to say thank you.

You knocked on his door, patiently waiting for him to open it

And in that very moment your heart shattered, the pain you felt when the door opened, only to be greeted by an older women, her late 20's to be precise. Her ginger/ strawberry blonde hair was wavy and shiny. And her body was curvaceous and slim

Her nails painted red, she wore a tight black dress and heels, with pearls around her neck- and the cherry on top of the cake, was the 24K diamond ring she wore on her ring finger, indicating she is married.

Your face went red, not with anger. But with sadness, you felt like a fucking idiot. Falling for you teacher.

" Oh hello dear, you must be Erwin's student, please come inside. He must be thrilled to see you" she said, in a nice tone of voice as she let you inside

" Erwin! Honey, your student is here to see you" she yelled for her " husband" as she told you to sit and offered you a cup of tea

" Oh my, Y/N. This is rather unexpected. Why have you come?" Erwin asked as he dried his hair, obviously he just came out the shower.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes were visibly watery indicating you were about to burst into tears.

But you had to suck it up, and pretend like nothing was wrong

" I..I um- I brought you some gifts, just to say thank you for helping me with studying" you said handing him the gift bag

A smile appeared on Erwin's face as he opened the bag filled with chocolates, and sweets . But at the bottom of the gift bag was a letter, expressing your feelings to Erwin- and how you really felt about him.

He opened the letter silently, and reading it rather quickly before clenching his jaw, his smile faded into a puzzling expression. And he looked at you for a mere second before sitting on the barstool next to you.

His wife still making tea for the both of you including herself.

" So Y/N isn't it? How is school treating you?" She asked sitting across from you and Erwin.

" Well... Its, it's, it's great actually. Thanks to Mr Smith, your husband." You said, in a fake- nice tone of voice.

She didn't catch on to your obvious sarcasm but Erwin knew exactly how you felt about her, as said before he's smarter then he looks.

" Oh well, Erwin here isn't my husband, not yet. He's actually my fiance, we're getting married...soon I suppose" she said giving you a smile and sipping on her tea.

" That's wonderful news" you said sipping the tea.

Erwin sat in silence, drinking his tea and staring elsewhere, not daring to make eye contact with you or his fiance.

" Oh my, I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Mari Dawk" she said flashing you another smile.

" You see Smith and I met in our military days, he just caught my eye, he was one with the ladies too. She said waffling on about how her and Erwin met and how they got together. But in all honesty you weren't listening, frankly you didn't care, you were to hurt to listen to these stories.

She talked to much, but she was extremely friendly. You could see why Erwin was engaged to her, Mari would make a wonderful mother.

A few minutes passed and it was time for you to leave. You couldn't spend more time in this house, with Erwin and this woman.

So you said your goodbyes and offered to clean up.

"Can I help with anything, washing my mug?" You asked Mari

" No that won't be necessary Y/N, go home and get some rest it's late " said Erwin in a monotone voice.

You shut the door behind you and made your way home...

A few days passed and your behaviour changed drastically, you barely ate and you no longer enjoyed your usual habits.

You were on a break so you never saw Erwin.

When school was back on, you payed attention in class and actually wrote notes. He noticed your change in attitude towards him.

You no longer smiled at him when you entered to classroom, you no longer greeted him or said goodbye.

It was like you changed...

When the history lesson was over, you were the last student to pack your bag. Getting ready to leave, when Erwin closed the classroom door, locking it

" Why did you lock the door? I need to go home it's afterschool" you said in a cold tone of voice, not looking at him once, packing your textbooks into your backpack.

" Y/N, please stop this little act you're doing. You think I don't what you're up to? " Erwin said standing with his hands in his pockets, a few steps away from you.

" I don't care, if you don't mind I'd like to leave Mr Smith. I don't have time for this. If it isn't about schoolwork I'm not interested" you said

" The letter you wrote to me, well... It made me emotional Y/N" he said stepping closer and closer to you, only inches away

At this point you felt so broken and drained, it wasn't exactly his fault. How was he supposed to know you liked him and besides it's his life, he can't just dump his fiance for you.

" Mr Smith, I appreciate everything you've done. I'm sorry for that letter, I wasn't in the right head space. I just had a small crush, it was nothing serious. Please go back home to your wife and forget everything. " You said tears threatening to spill from your eyes as those words were so hard to say.

You couldn't lie anymore, you loved Erwin Smith. His smile, the way he comforted you and motivated you. His kindness, his leadership, his empathy. Everything about him lured you in. You still had feelings for him, you tried ignoring them and ignoring him. But truthfully you were hooked like a worm on a fishing rod.

As you were about to walk past him, he grabbed your arm. Forcing you back to him, his arm was strong. At this point you couldn't break free from his hold, even if you tried.

He held your waist, and placed a hand on your back rubbing it gently.

Things were getting out of hand, luckily there were no surveillance in his classroom.

" Y/N, I know I hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for leading you on. Truthfully I knew you liked me, I knew from day one. And I liked you too. Not in a daughter way, I like you romantically, I don't have feelings for Mari anymore. She cheated on me with one of my friends, and she came back. The only reason I let her back into my life was because my morals were telling me, that loving you is wrong. " The blonde man said with pain in his voice, he was being serious, he was genuine.

A passionate kiss was placed upon your pink lips as Erwin held you tightly in his arms.

Your hands made their way to his neck, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. Enjoying the kiss.

Erwin began to move his hands from your waist to your ass, lifting up your skirt as he squeezed your cheeks.

He broke away from the kiss

" Do I have your consent Y/N?" He asked as he looked you dead in the eye waiting for you to respond

" Yes, yes you have my consent" you said.

He kissed you even more, before bending you over his desk. Only to pull your panties down

" hmm, won't you look at that hey. All wet for me already, I haven't even touched this pussy yet"

He began rubbing your folds gently, making you whimper from every touch.

Erwin flipped you over, you sat on his large desk with you legs spread for him to see.

He unbuttoned your school shirt and threw it elsewhere.

And unclipped your bra, letting your pretty breasts drop.

He couldn't believe it, the sight of your pretty body, made him so fucking hard.

He gave you a kiss before flipping you back over again and kneeling down to your pussy. His tongue flicked across your already- wet folds, earning moans from you everytime.

He eventually inserted his cock into your pussy, fucking you slowly at first. Gradually he fucked you even faster, causing you to moan loudly.

Echo's could be heard throughout the empty classroom, as well as moans and pants.

The both of you came a few times, before deciding it'll be best to leave the school, before you both got caught doing your lewd activities.

And after cleaning up the classroom and getting dressed, Erwin grabbed you and kissed you once again

The words " I love you" falling from his lips

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