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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 25 days

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AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH STILL FREAKING OUT OH MY GOSH

Y'all I'm losing it

HUAAAGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH FIRST DATE

LOL YEAH I'M TENSE TOO

AUGUHAH HE'S ADMITTING IT FIRST DATE WITH A MAN OHHHH MY GOSH I'M NOT OKAY LOL

THIS BETTER BE AN ACTUAL DATE BC THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD

SPFIENAIMCLS IT'S A GROUP DATE

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH EDDIE'S HEREEEEE

OR IS IT ON ACCIDENT MAYBE O.O

IS HE GONNA THINK THEY'RE JUST THERE AS BUDDIES O.O (BUDDIE LOL)

OR IS HE GONNA THINK HE WAS BI THIS WHOLE TIME BUT BUCK WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW

Oh my gosh I'm freaking out

I'm not okay

What the heck

(edit starts here)

Ope a guy with his hand

OPE OH GOSH

That's not good o.o

Not really matching your message sir xD

Oh goshh o.o 😳😬

OH GOSH BUCK

Me when I saw the promo again a little while later: OH MY GOSH HOW DID I FORGET THAT BIT

Gosh. Wow

(end of edit)

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm not okay

I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!! OH MY GOSH. This is the anti feeling to last night when I watched tgd and the end killed me for an entirely different reason THE GAYS ARE WINNNINGGGGGG!!!! I'm not okay. Anyway IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Genuinely though all the plots throughout were really good and there were a TON of good moments. Plus the crossover with The Bachelor was GREAT lol. I need to go back and watch those first two minutes but I will update the post slfjdfhs. Now, I'm going to make a quick celebration post and maybe rewatch that clip if possible, and then I'll be back because I can't possibly put off this review xD. Oh my gosh I'm having so many thoughts.

OKAY AAHHH HI ME FROM THE NEXT DAY I was literally freaking out so much (and still am) that I couldn't do it and I kept procrastinating and then I fell asleep lol xD. I have continued to procrastinate (and I had things to do) but!! Here I am :)).

First though, I'm going to go back to the promo bit and add the second half because apparently I completely forgot about it, and I have since watched it a couple of times xD.

Okay!! Now, let's talk about some other bits of the episode xdd.

The Bachelor crossover was so fun!!! I've never seen The Bachelor lol but it was a great story, great call xD. And everyone freaking out SLFKGHDKS!! Maddie and Josh fighting over the call to Chimney giving them spoilers to Eddie siccing the girls on Buck to Bobby and Hen going 👁️👄👁️. And that poor girl xdd. Also the "Do I have to?" "I wouldn't" just killed me xDD. Glad she's okay though :)). Sucks she'll never have her chance lol. But hey, she got to talk to him :)!! Wild xD. Anyway, I think was a super fun thing to throw in there for the 100th episode :DD. It's also interesting to see a reality show crossover with a fiction show xD. Had a fun time with it!!

Maddie and Chim!! They were so funny at the beginning xD. Her sending the 118 was wild lol. Also I loved her face to him later when he was talking about how cool Tommy was right after Buck was complaining about him (😏😏) xDD. They're idiots your honor lol <33. Anyway, Chimney slayed on the calls today 🥰. Especially figuring out the head trauma for that poor woman! Nice job my guy :)). Also, I didn't notice it until I saw subtitles later but "I'm your basketball beard" AUGHWUOGIH!!!! XDD SLFJDGLKDS HE'S SO WILD FOR THAT O.O. Anyway he did genuinely slay, loved him supporting Buck lol :)). I'm sure there was some brother in law bonding in there xD. Maddie slayed on calls too!! I really loved her conversations with Buck though :D :)). The brunch one was sweet and kind of silly, plus the "Is it circled with a heart?" line was SO GOOD LOL SLFJDHS XDD. Idiot <33 (Buck more than anything but it's all affectionate I promise). Also I really loved Maddie's reaction to Buck talking about maybe accidentally purposefully injuring Eddie. It completely makes sense for her character and I'm really glad it was in there, it added some great depth <33. Though the storyline itself has depth!! Especially after the ending lol. Anyway, poor Maddie with her story about the Sarah's :(( xd. That sucks :'(. I do kind of know how it is (not quiiite as close) and it really can be awful xd. Dyeing your hair is a wild step xD. Plus SLFKGJDS "I would've changed both names" oh my gosh XDDD 💀. Also nice on her for calling Buck out for acting like a teenage girl lol. Anyway, love her, and Chimney <33.

Hen and Ravi!! We didn't see much of either of them this episode but they were great :DD. Poor Ravi xD. Bro had no clue what was going on with anything ever lol. He didn't even know who Tommy was! After all the drama he caused!! Poor guy's out of the loop (well for the drama he would cause, is what I meant) lol. They both slayed this episode though :DD!! Hen was great on the house invasion call and the Bachelor call :)). Love them <333.

Bobby, Athena, and Harry!! AYYY Harry :DD!! Welcome back man 🥰. Seeing him greet Athena and Bobby was so nice :'D. It's nice to have him back :')). Sucks to have a change in actors (Marcanthonee will be missed!!) but I'm sure he's gonna be great :)). Elijah, I believe his name is? Welcome aboard dude :DD! Anyway, his return isn't under the best of circumstances o.o. Love Bobby knowing, or being suspicious yk, and called Michael (they are my besties your honor 🥰🥰, I love them <33). Also really glad he told Athena immediately and didn't turn to hide it or anything 😬 :)). Anyway, glad he was so supportive <33. That whole thing was wild though o.o 😬😬😳. It really sucks so much that that happened :((. Harry didn't deserve that, and he was totally valid in his anger and wanting to respond. I don't think he should've beaten the guy up, but I get it. It sucks that he was to be a representative but that's how it is :'((. Hopefully it'll change one day. Also his conversation with Athena about it all and whether she cares more about being a cop or his mom OOUFGH O.O. That bit hit HARD 😬😭. He did have a bit of a point, but I'm glad he apologized <33. And that Athena was more understanding the second time. On a lighter note, her waking up him by pouring a bucket of water on him was amazing LOL xD. Anyway, seeing his reaction to the video hurt so much :((( 😭😭😭💔. It really is awful to see yourself angry. I only tend it see it in writing and it still sucks and is hard xdd. But HALLELUJAH YAYY he's not being charged, at least with prison time that is :')). And he's sticking around :DD!! I'm sure it'll be difficult with Athena monitoring his community service and such but I think it'll be really fun storyline wise :)). Also Athena having to tell that mom that she shot her son 😭😭😭💔💔🥺🥺. That was so awful, I'm so sorry honey <33? And that poor lady 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔. Her acting was amazing <333. It's such an awful situation and I hope she manages to be as okay as she can be :'((. Pooe guy <33 he seemed great :'( :'). Anyway, love them all (the three I said lol) <33 🥰🥰.

It's time.

Well time to talk about the rest of it besides that one part of the ending lol.

Buck and Eddie, and Tommy!! BROOK this was so wild o.o xD. The jealousy was painful 😭, but I also kinda loved it, it was hilarious xD. It really sucks that Buck was feeling left out, and I do think they were kind of leaving him out, but I don't think it was at all intentional. Eddie invited him to basketball several times, and the other things were things he and Tommy already had plans for. He even seemed excited when he thought Buck was going to come to the fight with them (which that bit HURT by the way lol 💀)!! He did seem kinda shady asking Buck to watch Chris but I'm sure it was an accident xDD. He's just an idiot your honor lol <33. I do wish he was a little more obvious about not blaming Buck when he got injured, but like, he was in a whole lot of pain with a possibly broken ankle xD. It's understandable lol and I don't blame him. I also don't think Tommy was trying to exclude Buck! H was happy to see Buck throughout the episode, he gave him a tour, planned to give him flying lessons!! It was just a really unfortunate situation and Buck wasn't communicating (as he admitted at the end lol). Poor Buck though through all of it 😭😭💔🥺. I know it was kind of on him for not communicating but it just sucks being left out :((, I totally get it. You don't wanna say anything and be told you're overreacting or for people to think it's weird, and you don't wanna be possessive or anything, but it sucks and you miss them :((. I know how it feels xD xd. Still, I'm really glad he was getting aware of it, and he listened to the help from Maddie lol <3.

I think the conversation at the end was a really good way of wrapping it all up. Seeing everyone's side (Eddie's opinion given by Tommy but honestly he wasn't really as involved in the problem lol), and having everyone apologize. Also then them hyping each other up :')). I do find it interesting to see and outside perspective to the 118! We're so used to the family that is the 118 and the 126 that we don't really think about the fact that it's probably not like that for most people xdd. It wasn't even really like that when Tommy was there. And it makes sense for him to be jealous over it!! It's completely understandable and a really cool perspective to see :)). Although I will agree with Buck lol, he's pretty cool on his own lol.

Now, seeing as I was freaking out and forgot half the previous lines, I'm going to say what I thought/my reactions to a few specific lines and everything as it started to ramp up xD.

By the way, I have watched this scene (or at least parts of it) like. 20 times now. And some of it I'm still trying to remember as I freak out once again right now lol xD. So keep that in mind lol.

When they were talking about the mouths static was hilarious xD. In all fairness, it wasn't great lol.

And then the Muay Thai (I think that's how it's spelled?), the after flying lessons bit and "Not in the same day"??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! That's where I started to really get stressed and suspicious and in shock xDD. I was like um. what was that. XD.

And then. Buck admitting he was trying to get TOMMY'S attention o.o. I genuinely wasn't expecting it but looking back on the episode it all makes sense yk o.o. Honestly I don't think even Buck really realized that was it until during that conversation, especially given his tone shift. And the Tommy's face afterward 😭. Bro is surprised xD. And I'm going to be completely honest, I thought Buck was saying "I didn't mean my best friend" there and not "I did maim best friend" until like the tenth time I watched it o.o xDD. The first one was wild, a self denial of Buddie because he's oblivious xDD. The second one makes more sense but is equally as wild o.o lol. He's realizing that just before he says it xD. And maim is dramatic but he did injure Eddie 😬🥺. Anyway, the next bit.

You know.

The moment.

"My sister says there's better ways to get someone's atten-" AND HE K I S S E D HIM!!!!! WHEN. I. TELL. YOU. I. LOST. MY. MINDDDD!!!!

It was so wild oh my gosh. You can look at my liveblog for more freaking out about that xD (and probably later in this post lol. And also in anything I've reblogged about it xD). I can still barely believe it's real. That it happened xd. I realized a little while ago that I have no idea what I'd do if Buddie actually got together, and I felt some of that feeling here. We thought for SO LONG,l we wouldn't have it, had kind of lost hope, and then BOOM!!!! I know I had hope for this episode but it wasn't SERIOUS, not really!! Hope but "I expect it.not to happen, no matter how hard I hope xdd". And we may not have gotten Buddie BUT WE DID GET BISEXUAL BUCK!!!!!!! I'm genuinely still so happy about that oh my gosh. I meant to make a post earlier but I was grinning in the hallway at school xD.

Now, AFTER THE KISS WAS SO WILD TOO AAAAHHHHHH.

OKAY I'm back for a third time lol, later in the day xD. Had a lot to do but now I'm here!

Anyway AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I barely even registered the sus stuff they were saying beforehand because I was in such shock, and the same goes for afterwards xD. I was just SCREEEAMING!!

But!! Some of these being my thoughts having watched it 20 times, and some of them being what I thought at the time, THE MOUTH STATIC COMMENT 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺 XD. Also we love Tommy asking if it was okay 🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰 :'). Anyway, it's the way Buck is just absolutely speechless. The only thing he has is the mouth static comment and that's it xD. All he had laid out lol. It's so cute to see him flustered and speechless :')). Also the fact that some of it comes from this revelation he just had (not just being a bi disaster, but discovering he's a bi disaster) is so good <333. And I just- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HE'S F R E E!!! AT 8 ON SATURDAY SURE BUT HE'S F R E E 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰🥰😎!!! ACCIDENTAL SUNGLASSES BUT WE'RE KEEPING IT. LIKE THE WAY HE SAID IT AUGOAUHUGIH HE. IS FREE!!

I'm so not okay over that <33

Anyway I love that Tommy does all the talking lol, he knows Buck can't and is short circuiting but he still has a conversation with him xD :).

And just AAAAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE!! IT'S SATURDAY AT 8 BRO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AUUUUAGHHHHHH!!

I mean I know you all do but you know lol.

Also Tommy telling Buck to call Eddie xD. Yeeeah, honestly seems like a good time to call and talk to him if he's on pain pills lol. Buck might have trouble speaking though, given he's still having a queer crisis xD. Kinda crisis, kinda discovery. Skipped some of that stage lol.

Buck's final look of the episode just destroys me :')). He's so baffled and happy your honor <33.

Now here's someone I'll say that I've been thinking of about the whole thing. Buck's tone changed, his vibe changed, something in his eyes changed, during that scene. Around the flying lessons bit xD. You can tell. I think he felt it, he just wasn't exactly sure what it was. And whatever he thought it was was probably terrifying (assuming he guessed correctly or knew lol). I think, if Tommy hadn't done something, he would've just let it go, let the moment pass. And, especially if he's done the same thing before, I think he would've pushed it away enough that he stopped thinking about it. I don't know if he has ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But it makes me think of a Buck who had Moments, who Wondered, and then dismissed them immediately because there was no way, he Couldn't. Or it was something he couldn't quite place. So he left it alone and forgot about it.

Idk. All I know is I don't think he would've made a move if Tommy hadn't lol, even if he was feeling the vibes xD.

Anyway, I've been genuinely so ill over all of this for literal days now. It's just past midnight on Friday for me lol. I'm just going so insane over it.

Today a question of the day in one of my classes was "What's a moment from tv/movies/musicals that impacted you?", you know something wild or epic or emotional or whatever, that impacted you. And, though it's far from the first time it's happened to me, I said this. Buck realizing he was bisexual. I don't think some people realize (though surely most of us on Tumblr do): This is a masculine, main character (honestly the main character) on an extremely popular mainstream television show, that after 7 seasons realized he was bisexual, and he's not a trope. It is profoundly impactful. Still definitely give credit where it's due to shows that have been doing it since the beginning (Lone Star, for example), but this is huge. They finally CAN do it. And I'm so happy for them, and proud of Buck :')).

Also quick note I just love how much Oliver is committed to and knows his character. The fact that he withdrew media wise because he agreed with us?? Wild. But he genuinely loves Buck so much, probably more than any of us, and he fights so hard to do him right <33. I'm so proud of, but more importantly, happy for him :')). He's been waiting so long for this and he totally deserves it, he absolutely slayed it <33. His acting was AMAZING, as always. I mean it's always great but this was just top both xD :'D. Anyway, thank you Oliver <3.

And thank you to everyone else on the show who worked to make this happen!!! And everyone in the fandom who fought for this!

I still genuinely can't believe it xd. It's just- amazing <3.

Also, quick think on Buddie: I do still want Buddie long-term. But I think Buck and Tommy could be cute, and no matter what I'm just excited to see where it goes for now :)). I actually kind of think it's better that Buck doesn't date Eddie first, for him and for us (a likelihood of them staying together). He needs to discover/explore/understand this new part of himself, and that might require branching out a bit :). Plus it's just good for him to get to be out there and live how he wants to, not worrying about endgame right now. I think Buddie will happen one day, but for now I am absolutely happy with this <333. I think it's gonna be great, and I am so excited :D.

One last scream:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It was sooo good, and not just The Moment. All the calls were cool and interesting, including the crossover, which was fun. Everyone's individual storylines were good, and even through a lot of silly moments, packed and stuffed with emotion :'). Plus all the little throwbacks to episode 1, and the series in general, were great and really awesome :'DD. Also, just thinking about the impact of the kiss being in the 100th episode <33. Wow. So insane (me) <33. Anyway, Buck and Tommy was wild but they were cute, I'm glad Buck and Eddie are doing better. I'm also glad everything got worked out between Athena and Harry <33. The situation sucks but I think we made the best out of it :')). I loved the Buck and Maddie interactions and moments this episode, they were great <33. I wish we got a few more team moments, or full family moments, for the 100th episode, but that's a small thing :) ❤️. I still THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and I thought it was just absolutely amazing.

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was super great. There were a bunch of fun storylines, which I don't want to forget about in light of the last scene. I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 4: Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered

It was so amazing. I'm so excited but so nervous for the next episode! I'm sure it'll work out fine but it looks wild. I'll be back here next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me

See you next week!!

#9-1-1 #911 #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc #911 spoilers #9-1-1 spoilers #evan buckley #he deserves it lol #I talked about him a LOT #also that episode title terrifies me #I'm sure it'll all end up fine but xd #if buck says that to eddie at any point I will actually absolutely lose my mind #I would love it for the angst and the drama #but it would hurt soo much #I don't think it will #but you never know xD #I do think/know that everything will work out okay though :'))#I'm still freaking out so much :'DD #I've written 377 words of a fic and I've seen the kiss scene like 25 times xD #or at least parts of it #I'm just going so insane <33 #got to freak out with someone irl earlier and it was great lol I needed that xD #kinda with two people #one knew and one didn't but was okay with spoilers. was still SHOCKED when we told them though LOL #anyway!!!#anyway!! so not okay :')). but I am genuinely living my best life /gen #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) <333 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!

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le-velo-pour-dru · 1 year

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I start the first part of the English Language Arts state test today... Aaaaaaaaa 😬 Wish me luck! XD

#dru speaks #i don't feel prepared tbh #but i'm gonna do well!! it'll all end up fine!!#i always get really good grades on state tests so i'm sure it'll be fine #i'm just. nervous XD

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gunpowdercarousel · 7 months

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I feel like BG3 has some really interesting themes of emasculation

Throughout the game it's rare to find a major male character that's depicted as traditionally strong or even 'strong' in any way without having some crippling weakness or insecurity. Even just beyond the simple fact that all three male origin characters have EIGHT STRENGTH, there's deeper stuff.

Wyll: The legendary Blade of Frontiers, a folkloric hero and champion of the people, who is powerless before his master - a woman. She literally treats him like a dog - a puppy even - and is always there to drag him back down the instant he gets too confident in himself. His questline is mostly defined by his sense of powerlessness, especially in the face of the seemingly untouchable woman he serves.

Gale: Used to make love to a literal goddess, only for her to dump his ass. He nearly killed himself trying to figure out a way to win her back, only to be left with a curse that's basically ruined his life. And the first interaction between them we see in the game is her telling him via messenger to kill himself for her sake. And he is totally willing to do so.

Astarion: On the surface, he seems like a suave and confident flirt; a rake. He's full of himself, has a zest for life, loose morals, and overall just seems like a debaucherous playboy, when in reality he's deeply traumatized from two centuries of being tortured, abused, and used. He feels broken and powerless, and is so thoroughly desperate for some degree of power that he'll try reading the Necronomicon without a second thought just in hopes it'll help him.

Ketheric Thorm: A man defined by his relationship to the women in his life. He lost his mind when his wife died and somehow lost it AGAIN when his daughter died. He gave up everything he had - his own identity - to try and bring her back, only for her to hate and scorn him. And in the end, his skull is crushed to pulp by his daughter's girlfriend. The same woman who he drew his immortality from. His awesome power - his indestructability - was something he siphoned away from a woman.

Raphael: The scheming, suave, smooth-talking devil who seems untouchably powerful and impossibly smug throughout the entire game. And yet, when you finally infiltrate his House of Hope, you find out he's really completely terrible in bed, has low self-esteem, and is desperate to prove himself. In many ways he's pathetic. Impressive in the beginning, certainly, when you're utterly powerless before him, but by the time you actual visit his manor you see him for what he truly is: an angry, little man full of hot air.

Cazador: A victim of his own master, who's just desperate for power. Despite being a terrifyingly powerful vampire lord and one of the most powerful and influential people in the city, he just comes across as pathetic and whiny when you finally meet him in person.

Meanwhile, if you look at many of the women in the game - Vlaakith, Mystra, Zariel, Mizora, Shar - they're god-like in power, if not the most morally righteous people in the world, to say the least. Hell, the main villain of the game - the Absolute - is depicted with a feminine voice.

It's just kind of interesting to me how the game depicts so many men in the game as being weak, ineffectual, or pathetic. And yet for the Origin boys it doesn't do it in a scornful or negative way. It just depicts them as flawed people and victims, either of themselves or of circumstance. It doesn't try to show the male heroes being especially strong or cool, it's more than happy to depict them as soft and weak and vulnerable.

It's the seemingly impressive male villains that the game likes to tear down and expose for being pathetic weaklings, which - of course - I'm fine with xD

I'm sure I've missed some other characters, like Gortash or whatever, but these are the main ones that came to mind.

Anyway, just a random thought.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #wyll #wyll ravengard #wyll bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion

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snek-panini · 6 months

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Happy Halloween! Have a book:

This is Siren's Song by @kedreeva (Hi! I asked to bind your fic months ago, sorry it took so long XD). It's an incredible Good Omens siren AU, which needs no introduction from me but it gets one anyway. It's one of the most in-character fics I've ever read, tackles a lot of the most resonant themes of the original (love in the context of aromanticism and asexuality, human labels in the context of non-human perspective), and has incredible world-building. Later parts of the fic always make me cry but they're good tears. You'll see. When I first learned that fanbinding was a thing and started looking into how to do it, this was one of the first fics I thought of. It just took me a while to learn the skills I needed before I could do it.

More pics and process talk under the cut!

So the cover up there is black faux leather and momi paper that I bought...about two years ago? And just kept on hand till I was ready to do this project. This is the first time I've worked with it and it was fairly nice, though harder to get a nice crease into than lokta or chiyogami. It felt very fragile when I was handling it but I didn't have any issues with tearing or glue bleed-through like I thought I might. It did bleed some color when I got it damp with the glue, and it took way longer to dry than normal, but once that was done it's been fine. Which is nice because I have a lot left over, so it'll probably be making many future appearances in my binds.

Look! It's rounded! I got a backing setup recently and this is my first time using it. It was Very Hard and I am not very good at it yet. But I think it looks pretty good for a first attempt, and there was really no other way to mitigate the spine swell on this one. I used a thick paper so I've got a thick book. I also tried something new with the case, though it isn't visible. Usually I make the text block and the case separately and then attach them as the last step, but for this one I actually built the case around the text. Like, boards attached to mull/tapes (sandwiched between thinner boards, with grooves cut for them so there are no bulges), then covered with momi, then leather corners and spine, then paste down the endpaper. It's got an oxford hollow, too! The tapes and mull actually wrap around the outside of the boards instead of the inside like I've done before. Endpapers are my favorite feather chiyogami. Combined with the marbled momi they make for a very opulent look, and I had just barely enough to do this. Like, down to the millimeter. I had to trim the edges and then glue the endpapers after to be sure they were right. I'm glad they were, because I didn't have a backup plan. Handmade endbands, colors picked to match the cover. Also, last note, I got the corner bits right for the first time. Measured properly, with no weird pointy bits that come out at funny angles. Very proud.

Title page and bookmark/interior shot. Did you know that some basic fonts in MS Word look different when you use a huge font size? Because I didn't until I made this title page. That's Parchment for the title, and it only gets those swirly bits around the capital letters if you take it to 26pt or higher (I used 72 here). Now I wonder if any of the other fonts have easter eggs in them like that. The ribbon is very fancy, to go along with the rich endpaper/cover combo. I think it's pretty appropriate for a mythological golden age of piracy story, as are the text ornaments:

Chapter header image, chapter end image, and section break image. It was a very image-heavy typeset. I was originally planning to only have a header and a section break, but I couldn't decide whether I liked the ships or the book/shell/feather better, and they both suited the story so well that I just went with both. Again, opulent, but I think it fits. All the images came from rawpixel, all I did was resize them.

There was a small error in the trimming process. Comes of having to calculate so closely the exact amount you can trim off, that you have to trim off so your slightly-too-small endpapers fit. I think something got misaligned when I poked the sewing holes because only the first signature is like this. The rest of the book has a more appropriately-sized margin between the page number and the edge. I got very lucky here, and I know it, and I'm never cutting it this close (lol) again. Next time we just order another sheet of chiyogami.

And that's it! I have one author's copy and one new bind in progress right now (that's taking a while because I'm learning more new stuff for it), and then I have two Christmas gift books to do, so it might be a bit before I have another book to share.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #this one was months in the making #maybe years if you consider i bought the momi in 2021 #long before i started working on the typeset #i love it so much though #when i was done i wanted to carry it around all day and show it to people #like a kid who wants you to put their drawing on the fridge

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dropthedemiurge · 5 days

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Second part of my translation comments (and half meta) for Gray Shelter [Episode 5], you can find the first post here!

"You gave the choice/decision to me, didn't you? (reference to the earlier scene)" "So your decision is to give me some money and tell me to get out of your sight?"

꺼져 is quite a rude word, like 'get the hell away from me', Yoondae is clearly pissed rephrasing/interpreting Soohyuk's intentions, he's using informal tone too

"Because I live like this? Because I idle/fool around here and there without doing anything, not able to get myself together (cannot get a grip on myself and my life)? Because you still see me as a child?!" "Yes. That's why I'm confused. Because it doesn't matter who is by your side (anyone will do), right?" "And (what's the problem)? You can be by my side. Why is everything so complicated for you? Just... (in softest pleading voice) ...Watch me. I will live like all the other people. Then it'll all be good (it's solved), no? You can watch over me while being by my side. Mmhm? Don't care about the situation, once again I'm telling you, just look only right at me."

I actually really like the usage of 'focus on me' in all the sentences because the translator keeps the leitmotif and it works in all contexts, the entire conversation was translated nicely. Even "- What's the most difficult thing about me and this situation for you? - That I'm your home (the place you return to now)."

I just gave you more literal translation... idk, for fun xD Maybe you'll catch more nuances that I tried to put in here. It's just devastating. Soohyuk sees and feels that Yoondae is clinging to him like to a lifeline, and he doesn't want to be one, he's got enough of people burdening him, his life is hard enough.

He tried to think simply like Yoondae and just live in the moment, give in to his impulses as well, but he just can't. He's sinking on his own and he can't chain himself to another person because even if he's a safe place for Yoondae, he won't be able to save him in this situation, it means they'll both drown. Yoondae has to find his own ground to stand on, he has to get a grip and find a new home on his own so he won't circle his entire life and attention on Soohyuk. Only then it'll work.

"If I find another home, can I call you? You won't avoid me then?"

They don't kiss here – they can't. It won't work. But such short distance is a promise, it's a possible future happy ending hanging between them both like a life vest and a heavy rock.

I'm not sure he means it as 'we get together again'. More like

"If we meet again, will we become okay?"

Like, they agreed it won't work out now, they need some time, and Yoondae now will be holding onto that hope that Soohyuk might accept him and his feelings once Yoondae finds his own home, his own meaning in life. But he's still afraid it won't happen, that's why he needs to hear some affirmation. Will things between them become alright (and the fact that he doesn't really say 'better' or 'good', he uses 괜찮다 - fine, alright, okay and asks if they will be able to even reach that). Which means they both know their relationship is less than 'okay' now.

And in a very Gray Shelter melancholic satisfying-unsatisfying way, Soohyuk only replies: "It'd at least be better than now."

That's the only thing Yoondae is left with. This, and a daring request to pretend he didn't steal that goodbye kiss.

And we're getting a time skip which starts on a sound of a ringing telephone. ("If I find another home, can I call you? ) And surprisingly, it doesn't seem that Yoondae is the one calling this time, as he wanted to. It seems like Yoondae accepted the call but he wasn't holding it or answering, yet Soohyuk called him and invited him for a dinner and is waiting for the answer. Now, the decision is up to Yoondae.

There is a calendar on the wall but I honestly didn't track if there were any other calendars in the show so we can tell how long was the time skip.

"Alright. I'll be waiting."

To be honest, in the ending I wished they showed at least one scene of Yoongdae coming home in a work-like uniform or doing something to indicate he started sorting his life out before that call came through. Because even though the ending is hopeful – they lived separately for some time, Yoondae has his own place, Soohyuk is reaching out to spend time with him now and they both agreed their next meeting will be more hopeful – but will it be enough? Was the problem actually solved?

We all should think that yes, but I wish the ending supported it a little bit more confidently. After such a rollercoaster of emotions and complicated situation, I want to see them heading towards the truly happy ending Т_т (give me the second season!)

In any case, the acting is great and the melancholic atmosphere for a BL was so unusual, I loved the edgy dialogues and emotionally raw writing. For such a short story, Gray Shelter certainly will go under many people's radar but it still touched my soul.

And, well, now I understand the title. Soohyuk is a shelter, he shouldn't be a home. Shelter is a place they seek temporarily comfort in when they have nowhere else to go. And it's not a bright happy couple place, and it's not an abusive family house either, gray is neither black nor white. It's something in between, and it's up to Soohyuk and Yoondae to try and build an actual equal bond, have a place to return to and person to eat dinner with.

#gray shelter #gray current #gray shelter comments #dropthemeta #korean bl #kbl #soohyuk x yoondae #kdrama #bl series

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heisenberg-simp257 · 1 year

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This is my third request for Heisenberg 🖤🥰

#255 “I’ll hold your hand all the way through it.”

#260 "Our sweetest little surprise...."

#270 “Baby’s coming, now.”

I love my baby fics XD Hope you do too!💖

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And Baby Makes Three

Heisenberg gets so busy he sometimes forgets about things. But this, this is something he will always remember.

#255 “I’ll hold your hand all the way through it.”

#260 "Our sweetest little surprise...."

#270 “Baby’s coming, now.”

Truth be, there were times he forgot that you were pregnant. It wasn't that he ignored it or anything, but rather that he was so busy he wasn't around you a whole lot. The times he did spend some time with you is when he would be shocked by what you looked like.

Not that you looked bad. Oh no, quite the opposite in his opinion.

Heisenberg found you to be more beautiful the more you grew in size. It's a proud moment for him to look at the swelling of your stomach and think "I did that". But it also gives him a feeling of fear because he knows that soon, the inevitable will happen.

He will be a father.

But until that time, he's kept you confined to the safety of the living area of the factory. In his eyes, it was way too dangerous for you to be down where he was. However, Heisenberg isn't just going to separate from you. He understands that you need his help for some things. So, he keeps phones around that you can call him from anywhere if something happens.

This particular day, he was very busy. But little did he know, so were you.

"What is it?" Heisenberg didn't mean to sound so irritable when he picked up that phone, but he was dealing with some shit. One of his experiments decided to malfunction and blow up in his face, covering him in blood and guts.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with anything else.

However, you didn't answer him right away. Your breathing sounded labored, and you seemed to struggle to get words out. His irritation grew to concern as you sounded in pain.

"What's wrong?" He asked, more worry in his voice this time. There was a bit of breathing on your end before you finally answered him with words he wasn't expecting to hear today.

“Baby’s coming, now.”

Heisenberg has never moved so fast in his life.

As he moved to the living are at a speed faster than light, he made sure to remove or change any clothing that was caked in the blood/guts of the deceased. He knew that you would scold him for being so thoughtless. But he was surprised he remembered that at all, with his mind running a million thoughts per minute.

"Y/N! I'm here!" Heisenberg shouted in urgency as he reached the bedroom. He was expecting to see you hunched over in pain, but instead, he saw you pacing by the window.

"Could you keep it down a bit?" You groaned as you rubbed at your head. He blinked a bit before apologizing. Then he made his way over to you, hands on your shoulders.

"Are you okay? You look okay..." Heisenberg rambled on, looking you over from your flushed face to your distended pregnant belly. His panic was understandable. Heisenberg had no idea, no matter how much he tried to lean, what to do when this situation arises.

A little freak out is understandable.

"The pain comes in cycles...it hurts, but everything seems fine for now." You said, placing a hand on your stomach. He mimicked your actions, trying to calm himself.

"Sorry...I don't really know what to expect. Fuck...this is actually happening." He ran a hand through his messy hair as he murmured that last part, panic starting to set in again. You turned around and placed a hand on his cheek.

"It'll be okay Karl...I'm here, we'll get through this together." You promised him, smiling and looking beautiful despite all the stress on your body. Heisenberg took a couple deep breaths before slightly smiling back at you in return. You were right. Things were going to be fine, and soon, the baby will be here.

But until then, more contractions and more agony.

"What the HELL was that?" He asked in shock.

"My WATER broke Heisenberg!" You screamed back at him in annoyance, using his last name out of irritation. The contractions were much closer now and you could feel a burning pressure in your lower regions building up. You had to move to the floor, blanket on ground, as you were on your hands and knees. Breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your face, as you tried to prepare yourself to push your baby into the world.

"This is the part...that I was most scared for." You admitted to him. Your body has already been through so much stress, and you felt like you had no energy, but soon you would have to use excessive energy to push on each occurring contraction.

“I’ll hold your hand all the way through it.” Heisenberg reassured you from his place before you. He was kneeling, ready to support your body if need be. But now, he offered you his hand. You moved to lean against the bed and took his hand, squeezing it during each pain you received.

He didn't mind at all though. His hands were very tough.

Around ten or fifteen minutes later, you gave birth to a baby boy. After the anxiety of hearing him cry and getting him clean, things finally settled down a bit.

"You can relax now." You told Heisenberg as he slumped down next to you as you held the baby close to your chest. He nodded at your words before moving to look at the tiny being in your arms. You did so as well, smiling to yourself.

"Our sweetest little surprise...." You said softly and the man beside you chuckled.

"I'll say..." He responded and you nudged him a bit. Yes, the baby was a shocking surprise between the two of you. In fact, you didn't even think that you were pregnant until several months in, leaving you guys little time to access everything.

But thankfully, things turned out well.

"You want to hold him?" You asked the new father, and Heisenberg immediately looked uncomfortable. You knew he was afraid to hurt him, hands being as rough as he believes them to be. But still, he wasn't one to back down.

"Yeah...I got him..." He whispered and the hand off began. The baby complained a bit, but soon settled in his father's arms. He was the lightest thing that Heisenberg has ever held in his life. Truthfully, he was afraid, but now that he was holding his own baby, he didn't want to let him go.

"And baby makes three." He chuckled and you laughed as well. Things seemed to be looking bright and easy for these two uncultured adults when it came to the life of parenting.

But then the newborn began to cry.

#resident evil #resident evil imagines #resident evil village #resident evil village imagines #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg imagine

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cyb-by-lang · 1 month

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HIHI LANG (sorry hadn't had brainspace to comment yET BUT SOON GROUP PROJECT IS ALMOST DONE) instead of being productive i ended up binge reading all of it must be a thursday again and still absolutely loved it!! Recently got more entrenched in critical role (your fic introduced me to the series, and dnd in general, so many years back) and the animated vox machina series dragged me in deeper and the mighty nein!!! dunno much about them (yet) but I absolutely ADORE how you wrote them in the fic!!!

It's so cool reading through this second (third?) time with more dnd context, and also how overpowered team minato are levels/stats/abilities wise compared to the "new" characters of the mighty nein LMAOO

The way you blended the two worlds, or rather how seamlessly kei and co have been meshed into this world despite their differences is so fun to read, all of your crossovers are, honestly, and i can't wait for kakashi's reaction to finding out hat obito was... aware that his wolf form was a shiftshape/were form xD

ALSO! the art that you've made for team minato's designs are so good!! the height comparison chart in one of them is also so funny, especially considering kakashi is currently very... wolf... lol

Thanks so much for all the fun stories and I hope you have a marvellous day!

Obito unfortunately doesn't know how True Seeing works! Which is fair; even the players of a given campaign might not read the spell description and realize it sees through Polymorph spells along with basically all illusions.

...And to be fair, I'm not sure any of the Mighty Nein know this is how the spell works, either. Since none of them can currently cast it.

Glad you like the art! I wanted to emphasize that Kakashi's wolf form was Lorge and make the "well, put a leash on him and it'll be fine" ploy even more absurd than it already was.

#it must be a thursday #cadriona #asks #kakashi hatake #obito uchiha

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sable-dream · 9 days

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Do you have any advice for a newly awakened Sable therian?

Hi! Congrats on finding your identity! :3

As for advice (a lot of this is general/not sable specific advice):

Try literally anything you want. Eat like a sable, wear clothes in sable colors, try on gear, do quadrobics if you feel like it, etc etc etc. If it sounds fun and seems like it'll help you connect with your identity more then there's no harm in (safely) trying it! (Obviously avoid doing dangerous things like eating raw chicken or trying to jump 3 feet in the air on your first try doing quads.)

Related to the last point, don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to or don't enjoy doing or causes you pain. If quadrobics is hurting your arms or a tail is giving you a rash then stop doing it. That's completely fine and your health, safety, and comfort come first.

Remember that therian social media is extremely skewed in favor of therianthropy, and that all therians have hobbies and interests outside of just being a therian! I made the mistake of trying to make therianthropy my entire identity when I first awakened and I ended up completely miserable because of it - so I try to help newly awakened therians avoid that pitfall lol

Relating to the first point - just... do stuff you want to. Make that stimboard, design that mask, wear a tail, whatever you want. This is a community based around identity and there are essentially no rules (other than the obvious 'don't be a bigot or a creep' lol).

If you're looking for specific gear recommendations, you can find cat mask bases here, (I personally realized recently I don't really like wearing masks but I know other people like them lol) and I'm not too sure on places to ethically source real tails from as all of mine were second hand, so you're probably better off asking someone else. (Thrift stores are a good option if you're looking for fur in general.) You can also find custom animal ears all over etsy, but I can't really vouch for that in terms of quality because I've never bought any.

As for food, Sables are primarily carnivores so you're going to want to lean towards meat-y things if you want a more sable-like diet. I really like rabbit the few times I've had it, and if you want to feel a bit more connected or whatever you can always eat meat off the bone in the form of drumsticks or wings.

My favorite non-meat options are: Mushrooms, berries (including preserves and jams!), nuts like pine nuts (sunflower seeds make a good substitute), eggs, leafy greens such as lettuce, and anything with a crunch to it makes a pretty good insect replacement (or you could get dried insects but. pricey lol). Also I've mentioned this before but I LOVE pasta and noodles because they remind me of worms which is kinda gross but whatever XD

In terms of clothing: THICK stuff helps emulate fur, as does... actually wearing fur (faux or real) (love sweatshirts for this reason). Go for browns and tans to near-black coloration if you're looking for specific colors - really just look up sable pictures and match your clothing to that.

I haven't done quadrobics in months so you might have to ask someone else for advice on that one, however: Go SLOW with it, take your time, don't do anything unsafe, etc. Your wrists are FRAGILE and need to be protected.

That's all I can think of rn - I hope this helped, and good luck on figuring everything out, anon! :3

#therian #therian community #sable therian #sablekin #therianthropy #therian gear #dream.does.asks #therian advice

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thelovelylolly · 2 years

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Ok look at this I might be a rambling but I must say it, I have a blue merle Australian shepherd dog, his name is Orion and I love him he's my baby. One of the quirky things that defines Orion is that he is SUPER protective, so whenever there's a newcomer in my house you bet everything he's gonna be wary of the stranger cause he takes his job hella seriously in protecting his family and home. Two things things can happen, or whether he doesn't like them at all, he gets angry and starts to growl at them in a clear warning of "I have my eyes on you, don't you dare get close to them or I'm gonna bite your ass boy" or he absolutely approves them and they're automatically part of the family and his list of other people to protect being an absolute sweetheart, even if your on the street he will run to them to say hello (his so cute LORD-) Sorry I ramble a lot of my dog, can't help it XD, so what I'm trying to say is can I please request of Matt Murdock with a s/o who has a pet with this behavior? Cause I find super funny that Matt in a certain point is going to be exposed because of a dog. Anyways thank you for reading and sorry about the ramblings about my dog XD

Good Boy

Summary : Matt has to be 'approved' by your dog Warnings : None Notes : i'm more of a cat person, but hey whatever. your dog sounds so cute anon, thank you for requesting :)

When you first moved to Hell's Kitchen, you got yourself a dog. You didn't want to be alone since you finally moved out of your parents' house. Your dog was also very protective by nature, so it was an obvious choice when moving into a sketchy neighborhood.

Your dog, who you named Percy, would judge every person he met. You would take him on a walk and stop at a food truck only for him to start barking like crazy at the people passing by.

With the few relationships you've had while living in Hell's Kitchen, Percy always made it hard to take them home. He would not let them take a step inside your apartment. You just assumed Percy was being over protective, but all the people you dated ended up being jerks.

Until you met Matt.

He was an absolute sweetheart, but you were a little scared to take him back to your apartment. You didn't want Percy to scare him away. Eventually, you worked up the courage to ask him to come over and he said 'yes'.

"Okay, just a warning, my dog can be mean if he doesn't like you. He's just protective," you said as you unlocked your door.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Matt assured you as you led him inside.

You closed and locked the door behind the two of you. You heard Percy's paw padding on the floor and quickly approaching you and Matt.

"Percy!" You cooed, kneeling down to pet him. Instead of giving you attention, Percy went straight to Matt. Percy sniffed around Matt and he stood still as your dog inspected him.

You watched nervously and Percy walked in a circle around Matt. Then, Percy jumped up on Matt and started to lick him. Matt laughed and carefully reached down to pet him.

"I think he likes you," you said with a smile.

"I think he likes me, too."

#matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil x you #daredevil x reader

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ladyshandioftheendless · 11 months

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Lol my Luke brainrot is growing, sorry not sorry. This clawed its way into my head. XD (Pretty sure I might have some kind of tattoo fetish now that I think about this more HEH HEH~)

Luke x your World Tour OC (any gender/sexuality you like~)

You've been training hard pretty much the whole day with Luke. He's sore. You're sore. He asks if you're distracted because you missed quite a few moves. You're way too embarrassed to tell him that his tattoos distracted you. (Also, he'd taken his shirt off, and that didn't help AT ALL). You just make up a story on the fly, and to your surprise, he buys it. He's probably too tired to question you. He collapses face down on the mat. He's exhausted, but he's happy. He's had a great time, he tells you. He hadn't worked himself that hard in a long time. You're glad he can't see you blush.

While he's catching his breath, you lean over and spot something you haven't seen before. There's a row of stars tattooed on his lower back. Something about lower back tattoos..really turns you on. Losing all your inhibitions, you lean over to kiss them. You can feel him stiffen.

"H-hey..what're you doin'?"

"Shhh..I'm relaxing you.."

Any further protesting is pointless. He's too tired for that, which is exactly what you hoped for. You climb onto his and straddle his waist, massaging his back. You can feel his tense muscles loosen under your touch. He folds his arms together and rests his head on them, closing his eyes.

"Hey..that actually feels pretty good~"

"Glad you listened to me now~?"

"Yeah~"

You're glad you can make him happy, however brief that might be. The next day it'll start all over again. But you don't mind. Not if you can be close to Luke.

As you're daydreaming, he surprises you when he turns around. He gives you a smile. That damn smile of his that always makes you lose your train of thought. Deep down, you believe he knows it too. He grabs your shirt and pulls you into a kiss.

As night falls, you hope this will lead to a different kind of training.

~END~

(It's fine if you like it, fine if you don't. I just kinda wrote this for me~ I may do more in the future! If you have any suggestions, don't hesitate to ask!)

#this is sappy #but it's been in my head since this morning #don't like don't read #Street Fighter 6 #Luke x OC #street fighter imagines #I'm totally not staring at a picture of Luke right now #I don't know what you're talking about #Luke Sullivan

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 2 months

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I watched the The Rookie Season 6 premiere!!

I started it last night and finished it this morning and just OAUGH it was so good :D

I expected them to not figure it out for a while but I low-key love the way they did it. Because it shows that they (the characters) aren't dumb and gives some action but still keeps a huge mystery to it. Theory wise, I keep thinking of the Dream (nightmare) Team (Elijah and Oscar) but it's been like a half season so I don't think it's time to bring them back yet. Idk tho, we'll see what happens!

Also Lucy is going through it xD like genuinely she is and :(( but everyone (even Wesley xD) knowing about the clown thing was just HILARIOUS lol

Also after Tim said "maybe she just had a fight with her girlfriend" I was like "oh cool we're casually using a gay example- he's talking about him" soo as I said at the time, diversity win! The random person you're projecting your problems onto is a lesbian through you <3.

Anyway xD lowkey, I get both their sides, but I'm lowkey on Tim's lol. I do get being stressed out and just wanting support though, totally, I just think Lucy's going to realize she needs to talk it out with him

Also I'm glad for their development! I'm also kind of glad Tim's not the "instigator" (there's not really one but yk) of the fight since he's been the "mean one" a lot lol. Anyway I hope my babeys work it out (soon - I figure they will eventually) :((

Also this makes it seem like I love chenford and barely about wopez and I do love them but HUGAOAPGHY BABEYS I GOT THEM BACK <3333

Not much but I did :'D

Talking about wopez by the way lol

Also HALLELUJAH AARON SURVIVED!! HE'S OKAY :'DDD!! P H E W :'D 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊😌🥰.

Thank goodness lol

Also :(( that he wants to help catch the guys that almost killed him but can't - probably for the best though :/. Just don't let it get pent up in any way xd. Also please don't date your therapist or have any kinda funky relationship with her lol.

Also aaahhhhHHH Bailey and Nolan (John just wasn't right) are getting married :D. I'm glad everything ended up working out (for now lol, that promo is scaring me xD I figure it'll be fine but just once I want an uninterrupted wedding, in anything, but especially The Rookie lol) <333. They're adorable 🥰. Also am I crazy or was that Mr. Kevin Kozner as the neighbor guy? At first I thought it was then wasn't then wasn't sure so I figure not but I don't know xD

Also poor Harper :(( I know she'll get through it but it just sucks. And it sucks that she can't talk to James about it (like not legally but emotionally lol), though I do like that they have differing opinions on stuff. It's nice to have couples that don't have all the same views, you know?

Anyway!! I didn't mention them but Celina and Gray are slaying as always <3. And for Celina (and everyone)'s sake I hope we catch this guys soon (but not too soon ;) - I love me some drama)

Also reminder that I love Wesley with my whole soul, thank you <3.

So excited for this season!! Especially the 100th episode, it's so great that they get one :D. I think both of those are gonna be really good and I'm just so looking forward to it :D!! This was an amazing episode, lots of good stuff all around, and I'm so excited for the next one :D. The promo looks wild (also AAAHHHHHH THE WEDDING!!! :DD) but so good and I'm looking forward to it :D 🥰.

This is gonna be a great season :))!!

See y'all later!! ❤️🥰

#the rookie #oasis's rookie chatter #chenford #wopez #bailan #whoops that's a spanish word xd #sorry besties #anyway!!#so excited #I love you all :DD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <33!!!!

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cmishwrites · 4 months

Text

FO4 Fanfic thing pt 1

This is just the intro, setting up the background for the mc (who is NOT the ss, and in this bit not the pov character.). And it's sorta really long.

some things;

~ I wrote this originally back in 2019, it's a touch rough, I apologize. brain bleach is available on request if you feel you need to scrub after reading it XD ~ It's going to be multiple parts, the intro is a big chunk. ~On the whole I write novels (fantasy/sci-fi etc), so when I dabble with fan fic, I write it as a novel too. Long and wordy in spots. ~ The main character is not the SS. And her history is a touch complicated. ~ On the whole the thing is unfinished. I do have my notes, but with some of it, I'm not sure exactly where I was going with it. ~ It has no title and I am still a touch clueless on what the title would be. ~ Because of it's length I might have to move it to wattpad, or another platform and link to it here. I... apologize? ~ I am procrastinating.

WARNINGS: not in this section.

Intro: Year 2274 north of the commonwealth.

"I cannot condone this action." Rugur snarled. His voice silenced the gathered crowd, all eyes went from the woman silently weeping to the old man who leaned heavily on his walking stick. In the woman's arms was a girl, small for her age, her large blue eyes dull, her dirty face tear-streaked. "We've made changes." The grim-faced man beside the woman said. His face pockmarked and scarred from years of heavy chem use. Rugur shook his head. "That's what we see, that's what you say, but what happens behind closed doors? The other children don't see fit to visit you. Putting Calisto in your home will not end well." Rugur glared around at the crowd. "Don't forget the state the child was in when she and her siblings were removed from their home." "With all due respect," The Mayor, a slim man with a high pitched voice stepped over. "They have made great efforts to improve their living conditions. I see no reason why the child can't return to her mother and father." Rugur looked around, his shoulders shaking in contained fury. "HE would be disgusted." "He is dead." The weeping woman said, her high pitched voice on the verge of hysteria. The child in her arms made no move, no sound. Poor thing is in shock. Rugur shook his head slowly and stepped over to the woman "If I find you mistreat her," "Rugur! It's decided." The Mayor snapped. The woman shot him a smug look and she, followed by her husband, left the circle of murmuring villagers, heading up the pathway to their small little shack in the woods. Rugur shook his head and glanced at the Mayor. "This won't end well, you know." "They've made the changes we demanded." "Did you see Calisto's face? Her eyes?" Rugur leaned against his walking stick. "That child needs a gentler hand than what those two will provide." "Rugur, stop. It's decided. Go home." The Mayor scowled at him, patting his shoulder awkwardly. "You'll see, it'll work out fine." Rugur snorted and turned, making his way not back to his home, but to the small house where his best friend had lived. He stopped at the doorway, the lingering smell of the cigars giving the illusion that the old man was still there, pouring over his maps, trying to devise a way to return home. "Rugur?" The soft spoken Chani was behind him. He sighed. "Before anything happens to this stuff, stash it away." He motioned the jumbled set of power armor, the box of mementos from a squad lost in ambush decades past. There were several boxes of papers and a few black journals, carefully crafted for the old man. "Give it to her when she gets old enough to appreciate it." "Are you going to be all right?" Chani asked. Rugur snorted. "No. Not while that child is in the hands of those chem heads." He whirled on her, almost tipping over to one side. "What the hell is everyone thinking?" He raged as she helped him steady himself. "I don't know." Chani leaned against his shoulder, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's like he's still here." She swollowed and patted his arm. "I'll make sure nothing happens to these things. I'll have Murlo give me a hand." "You trust that synth?" Rugar scowled. Chani nodded. "I find many synths to be more human than actual humans." Rugur snorted. "Just get it done today, please." His gut twisted. He was afraid something would happen to these things. Chani patted his arm. "Of course."

~*~

He was woken in the middle of the night by the smell of smoke and yelling. It was a struggle to get old bones working, and by the time he made his way to the porch of his small shack, he could see a glow of flames in the distance and villagers rushing in that direction with buckets of sloshing water. He followed, forgetting his walking stick and swearing at himself for his stupidity. It was the old mans house, and it was completely engulfed in flames. He slowly leaned against a tree staring in disbelief as years of memories went up in black oily smoke. A hand touched his shoulder and he found himself looking into the stricken eyes of one of the old man's grand-daughters. Jenna, like her mother, Chani, was soft-spoken. "Are you all right, Rugur?" She peered at him. At her side was her tall, lanky son, almost as tall as she was, even though he was barely ten years old. "Everything… gone." He whispered, guesturing the house "Did your mother..." "She got the power armor and boxes out." The boy said in a low voice. "I helped." Jenna nodded. "There were other things, I think those are gone, but the things from his squad are tucked away and safe." "Good." Rugur sighed. He glanced around, seeking and failing to find, "They're not here." Jenna said flatly. Rugur looked at her sharply. "I think if I saw them I may resort to violence." "The rest of the family?" He looked back at the flame engulfed house. "Did they hear about Calisto?" "Most of us heard yesterday afternoon, after it was all decided. She should have come to me. She and Leo are very close." Rugur nodded and jabbed a finger at the boy. "You keep a close eye on her, you hear?" "I will, I promise." Leo peered at him. "Do you want me to get your walking stick, sir?" Rugur nodded. "Aye, it's next to my door." The boy darted off and Rugur looked at Jenna who was watching the efforts of the villagers. "You have a good one, there." She looked at him, surprise melting into a proud smile. "He's a wonderful boy." She linked her arm with his. "Come on, there's nothing for us to do here." He cast one last look at the house, the villagers started to edge back from it as the roof caved in sending sparks towards the uncaring stars above. It was a loss. He sighed. The end of an era. He took his walking stick from Leo and allowed Jenna to 'help' him back to his shack. ~*~ He slept fitfully, his dreams sliding from one confusing scene to another. He found himself standing in front of a familiar door. He hesitated before opening it and stepping into the small, neat space beyond. Familiar, though strange. This space had burned just hours ago, yet his dear friend was sitting at a small narrow table, a cigar in his lips, papers spread out in front of him. He looked up, smiling around his cigar, eyes bright as they'd been fifty years before. "It's time, you know." He said around his cigar. Rugur frowned and started to protest when he noticed his hands. No longer wrinkled and gnarled, his skin was tight as it had been in his youth, hands steady. He looked at his friend confused. "Time for what?" He realized it was no longer the old man sitting there, but a younger man who stood on two good legs. "It's time to go home. Time to see the Lost Hills again." He smirked and motioned at Rugur with his cigar. "Wanna come with me?" "You really have to ask?" Rugur grinned, feeling better than he had in years. His smile faded a bit. "What about Cal?" "She's tough. She's steel." The former Paladin grinned. "She's going to be just fine." Rugur nodded and took the rifle leaning against the wall. "Lets go then."

~*~

Jenna and Leo stopped by Rugur's shack in the afternoon, Jenna wanted to let him know that all of the old man's things had been moved before the fire, Chani and Murlo and managed to clear everything important to the old man out before nightfall. She hoped it would soothe his nerves. It was hard enough for Rugar, losing his best friend, knowing his special things hadn't burned with the house would give him some semblance of comfort. But it was silent, eerily so, and old Rugur wasn't sitting on the porch like he usually did in the afternoons. She frowned and glanced at Leo. He was poking around the shed, looking through some of the boxes of junk Rugur had collected for his 'inventions'. "Leo stay out here, will you?" She called, rubbing a hand over her stomach. Her unborn child kicked at her hand. He looked up sharply, blue-green eyes narrowed. "Something wrong?" "I don't know." Jenna forced a smile, though her gut was twisting and it had nothing to do with the baby. "I think Rugur may have gone somewhere, I just want to make sure." Leo nodded, but didn't look away from her, didn't move from his spot. His expression serious. Jenna turned, pushing the door open and hesitantly stepped into the tidy, clean shack. The stove was on one side, tucked against the other was the bed, with a table and rickety chair in between. The window shutters were still closed, casting the one room in dim light. Laying on the bed, prone, was Rugur. Jenna swallowed, tears filling her eyes, making it hard to see as she went over to the bed, kneeling beside the man who was like a second grandfather to her and her siblings. She took a shaky breath and straightened, looking down at the face, often angry in life, yet peaceful now. She reached over, closed half open eyes and patted his hand which lay on his chest. "Couldn't go far without him, could you?" She whispered. From the day Rugar had pulled the injured paladin from a slaver camp, the old man's death, they'd been near inseparable. She wiped her eyes quickly and made her way out. It was time to get the doctor, to prepare the tell the rest of the family. ~*~ Thanks for reading so far. It went long, longer than I realized it was. Hope you enjoyed it. I need to tidy up pt2 before posting it. With christmas around the corner, it might be a few days before I get that up. Feel free to let me know what you think. (needy author is needy)

#fo4 fanfic #fo4 #writing #fanfic #this is longer than I thought

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