#IM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT SPACE AND NASA MAN
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72 Hours In Montreal [Part I]
A/N: Many moons ago, the incomparably lovely @im-an-adult-ish pitched a Montreal concert fic idea (jokingly, I think), and quite a few of my followers fell in love with it. They were even kind enough to vote on which Queen member should be the love interest, and there was a clear winner: John!
I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and at last, here is the first of three chapters of this new mini-fic. I’m going to tag some of my past readers, but I WILL NOT TAG YOU AGAIN unless you ask me to. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy. 💜
Series Summary: John Deacon is a rock star at a crossroads. Y/N is a world-weary employee at a Yankee Candle shop. They’ll only ever have three short days in Montreal together...or will they??
Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (not graphic).
Word Count: 6.8k.
Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE
Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii @bramblesforbreakfast @culturefiendtrashqueen @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @escabell @im-an-adult-ish @queenlover05 @someforeigntragedy @imtheinvisiblequeen @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee @deacyblues @tensecondvacation @brianssixpence @some-major-ishues @haileymorelikestupid @youngpastafanmug @simonedk @rhapsodyrecs @joemazzmatazz @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee @namelesslosers @inthegardensofourminds @sleepretreat @hardyshoe @sevenseasofcats @jennyggggrrr @madeinheavxn @whatgoeson-itslate @herewegoagainniall @anotheronewritesthedust1 @pomjompish @allauraleigh @bluutac @johndeaconshands
The obnoxious British men are still laughing. The one with the mustache, suspenders, and illogically tight red leather pants is standing on the tiptoes of his equally red Adidas shoes to paw candles off the top shelf so he can sniff them. The blond one has no less than eight jars balanced precariously in his wiry arms. Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing is billowing through the shop speakers.
“Oh my god, he’s gonna break something,” you moan in a whisper, covering your eyes but peeking through your fingers. Your apron is suddenly too tight around your waist; your cheeks are roaring with blood as you envision the inevitable confrontation: Sir, unfortunately you ruined some of our giant tacky overpriced candles and so now you have to pay for them. So sorry. Paper or plastic? We take Mastercard.
“Who?” Kevin asks. He’s holding a broom in one pudgy, pinkish hand and a dustpan in the other. He has surrendered.
“That one. Suspenders and moustache guy. Red shoes guy. Dorothy without Toto.”
Kevin cracks a smile. “That is frighteningly accurate. He is rather whimsical, isn’t he? Maybe he’ll click his heels and disappear back to London or wherever.”
“We aren’t in Kansas anymore,” you mutter in commiseration. Actually, to be perfectly literal, you’ve never been to Kansas in your life.
“Wait, I think I might have met that guy before somewhere.” Kevin squints with great concentration. “He looks oddly familiar…”
“Hm.” You check your eyeliner wings in your reflection in the cash register screen. From what you can tell, they’re every bit as tragically asymmetrical as you remembered. Spectacular.
“Staring won’t make it better,” Kevin notes, very unhelpfully.
“I know,” you reply, miserable, toying with your bangs so you can hide behind them.
“How does that even happen? The right one is practically a 90-degree angle. The left one looks like you drew it on with a Sharpie.”
You groan. “I’ll try to scrub them off during my break.”
“If you’re not too busy helping me sweep glass off the floor, sure,” Kevin says. “I told you, I took an electrical engineering class as an elective once. I could totally take a look at your bathroom.”
“I thought you said you failed that class.”
“No, I said I got a D in that class. Ds aren’t failing.”
“Well now you’ve convinced me.” You scrutinize your reflection again, frowning. You rent a rather dilapidated one-bedroom apartment above a bakery just a few blocks from the Yankee Candle shop. The apartment always smells like powdered sugar and baking bread, which you like. What you don’t like is everything else about it: the peeling paint, the low water pressure, the windows that you can’t wrestle open, the occasional mice, the shoddy electrical wiring. On any given day, there’s an approximately 27% chance that the bathroom light won’t turn on when you flip the switch. This morning you had been on the losing side of those odds, and with the only mirror in the apartment being the one mounted over the sink—and the overcast November skies outside offering painfully little natural light—you had haphazardly guesstimated your way through your makeup routine before dashing off to work. Your guesstimation skills, apparently, are not all that great.
“If he’s The Wizard of Oz...” Kevin points his broom handle from the snickering moustached man to the gangly, poodle-haired one who has been trying to decide between two candles—Christmas Cookie and Cinnamon Stick—for twelve uninterrupted minutes. He’s wearing a parka spotted with patches: a NASA emblem, a soaring rocket, a smiling green extraterrestrial face, Saturn and its rings. “That guy’s gotta be Star Wars.”
“Or Alien,” you suggest, clutching your chest and pretending to die melodramatically.
Kevin laughs. “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
“Close Encounters of The Third Kind.”
“What about that one?” Kevin nods to the guy who has large blue eyes and bleach-blond, fried tufts of hair sticking out in every direction and a grin that is simultaneously childish and foxlike. Under Pressure comes on the shop speakers, and the British men all start cheering and high-fiving each other, leaving their candles momentarily tucked under their arms or quivering precariously on the edges of wooden display tables. You are entirely mystified. “God, he’s gorgeous.”
“Bye Bye Birdie,” you decide. “Beautiful. Charming. Beloved by all. Perhaps a little dangerous. I can picture teenage girls sobbing themselves to sleep as he gallantly marches off to war.”
“You think he’s gay?” Kevin asks hopefully.
“I don’t think he’s dressed well enough for that.” The blond man is wearing a shapeless, polka-dotted sweater that has ‘NIVEA’ spelled across the front, for reasons that are difficult to fathom.
Kevin sighs, crestfallen. He suffered a nasty breakup with his boyfriend Patrick two weeks ago, and is enthusiastically on the hunt for a rebound to distract him. “You’re probably right. Okay, last but not least.” Kevin aims his broom handle at the fourth and final British stranger. “What shall we call him?”
You consider the man who has wandered away from the others. He’s wearing Levi’s, a black bomber jacket, aviator sunglasses, a mop of unwrangled auburn hair, thoughtful lines that break around the corners of his hidden eyes. He is browsing unhurriedly, perhaps even distractedly, through the fruit-scented candles. He picks up a jar of Macintosh Apple, sniffs a few times, then sets it back down precisely where he found it. He even spins the jar so it’s label-side-facing-outwards again. You warm to him immediately.
“One of the James Bond movies?” Kevin offers. “He seems…enigmatic somehow. Esoteric. Yet still clearly leading man material.”
“Casablanca,” you say, not tearing your gaze from the stranger. “I can imagine him waving off some old flame on a foggy, night-draped airport runway, breaking hearts with sparse words of wisdom. Can’t you?”
“Oh, that’s exactly right!” Kevin sighs again, dreamily, yearningly. And whether he’s yearning for his ex-boyfriend Patrick or Bye Bye Birdie a.k.a. NIVEA-sweater man or passion or sex or love or maybe just the ineffable high that accompanies the beginnings of things, you couldn’t say.
You peer at your reflection in the cash register screen once again, feeling more self-conscious than ever. “Maybe if I—”
“Freddie!” Star Wars cries, and you whirl just in time to see The Wizard of Oz, whizzing around and giggling and preoccupied with teasing NIVEA-sweater man, stumble into the six-foot-tall tower of Christmas Tree-scented candles and send countless jars crashing to the tile floor.
“I knew it!” you unleash in a rush of misery and exasperation, the biting threat of tears in your eyes and the back of your throat. And of course, it isn’t just about the mess on the floor, it isn’t just about having to tell your manager and hoping to God he doesn’t fire you. It’s about your derelict apartment, it’s about your fucked up eyeliner, it’s about everything that’s happened in the past eighteen months; it’s about the never-ending feelings of helplessness and inertia and predestined ruin, it’s about not being able to get fifteen meters down the street before life throws up another red light, another jagged sinkhole gaping like ravenous jaws. And none of that is these ridiculous British men’s fault; yet still, in that moment the fury you feel towards them is overwhelming.
“Jesus christ,” Kevin mumbles, stepping out from behind the counter to survey the damage, his hands still clutching the broom and dustbin.
“You couldn’t just mosey around and ask which candles are on sale and maybe sniff one or two like a normal person?!” you explode. “You had to come in here acting like goddamn animals and destroy like a third of our inventory?!”
“I’m so sorry,” The Wizard of Oz sputters, looking at you and Kevin with wide, profusely apologetic dark eyes. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man are helping him to his feet, albeit with very spirited chidings. Kevin is grudgingly asking if he’s alright. Casablanca is already trying to sort through which candles are broken and putting those that survived aside. And when he casts furtive glances from behind his aviator sunglasses, they’re directed not at Kevin or The Wizard of Oz but at you.
“Freddie, bloody hell,” NIVEA-sweater man laments.
“I’ll pay for them all,” The Wizard of Oz tells you. “I’m so, so, so terribly sorry, you’re absolutely right to be cross with me, and I’ll pay for everything. Here, let me get my wallet…” He digs around in the pockets of his preposterously tight red leather pants.
“Uh…sir…” Kevin begins uncertainly, not wanting to break the bad news.
“It’s going to be hundreds of dollars,” you inform The Wizard of Oz. “Maybe over a thousand. You’re really going to pay that? Or are you just going to wait until we start sweeping up and then sprint out the front door the first chance you get?”
“Hey,” Kevin warns you quietly. He wants you to keep this job probably even more than you do. You are, by his own admission, far and away his favorite coworker.
“No, no, darling, please, let her scold me, I deserve it.” The Wizard of Oz at last locates his wallet. He sashays to the counter, brushing nuggets of glittering glass off his clothes, and counts out two thousand Canadian dollars in hundreds. “Will that do? You can keep the change as compensation for the inconvenience. And we’ll help clean up as well, has anyone got an extra broom?”
As you stare down at the money, shocked into speechlessness, three hulking men dressed in black come barreling into the shop.
“Lord in heaven, Freddie, what happened?!” one asks. He has a thick beard and an Irish accent and closely resembles a grizzly bear.
“I made a complete ass out of myself and am now trying to win the affections of this marvelous creature,” The Wizard of Oz replies, flourishing a hand towards you. “Is it working, dear?”
“Kind of,” you admit, still stunned.
“Oh my god.” The broom tumbles out of Kevin’s grasp and clatters on the floor. He points at The Wizard of Oz. “I know where I’ve seen you before. You…you…you’re Freddie Mercury, right?”
In reply, The Wizard of Oz only flashes an enormous, toothy, dazzling grin.
“Oh my god,” Kevin says again, a starry, awed smile rippling across his round face.
“Please don’t make his ego any bigger,” Star Wars pleads.
“And you’re Brian May!” Kevin replies. “And you’re…” He turns to NIVEA-sweater man, snapping his fingers, trying to remember. “Robbie…no, Ronnie…uh…Ricky…?”
“Roger Taylor.” But it comes out like ‘Rogah Taylah.’ NIVEA-sweater man extends a hand for Kevin to shake, not the least bit offended. “It’s a pleasure. Sorry about the candles.”
“No problem, sir!” Kevin squeaks as he takes Roger’s hand, beaming. The men in black—the band’s security, you’ve gathered—have descended upon the crime scene, confiscated Kevin’s broom and dustbin, and are rapidly clearing glass and chunks of candlewax from the floor and discarding the mess in a trash bin that usually collects only chewed gum and unwanted receipts.
“So I guess I probably shouldn’t have yelled at you,” you tell Freddie Mercury guiltily, all the venom in your voice evaporated. You’re no Queen superfan, true, but everyone knows the words to Bohemian Rhapsody and We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions. And Another One Bites The Dust. And Killer Queen. And Crazy Little Thing Called Love. And Somebody To Love. Your thoughts are suddenly a racing, indecipherable blur. Your knees are boneless. You’ve never met a celebrity before. Well, not unless you count professional hockey players, which you definitely don’t.
“No, you absolutely should have,” Freddie retorts. “I was dreadfully discourteous. I’m positively mortified about it. I should be punished severely. Have you got anything behind the counter to whip me with? A riding crop, perhaps?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Not that I know of. I’m sorry I called you an animal.”
“I’m sorry about the candles. There, now we’re even. Wait, not quite yet.” He calls over to Kevin: “Darling, how would you and your friend like front row seats at our show tonight?”
The squeal that bursts out of Kevin is not human.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Freddie Mercury says, very pleased.
“This is really too generous of you,” you protest, although your heart isn’t in it; Kevin might legitimately strangle you if you screw this up, and you’re finding that you want to see Queen in concert too. It’s something to interrupt the powerless, unrelenting monotony; it’s like something that might happen in a movie or a dream.
“Nonsense!” Freddie announces cheerfully. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man—or, rather, Brian and Roger—are chatting with the security guys and nodding along as the bearlike Irishman reviews the day’s itinerary.
You peer over at Casablanca. Now that the floor is mostly clear, he’s migrating towards you and Freddie. You glance apprehensively down at your reflection. “Goddammit,” you mutter, manipulating your bangs again, wishing you could disappear. “I meet a rock star for the first time ever and I look like this.”
“It’s not that bad,” Kevin says, obviously lying.
“I like it,” Freddie tells you, propping his elbows on the counter and resting his chin on his knuckles. “It’s very goth raccoon chic.”
“My bathroom light wouldn’t turn on this morning and I was late for work and I guesstimated and that was clearly a poor decision.” Poor decisions are my expertise, you think instinctively, and feel a tug of something you don’t quite have the words for. Shame, grief, disappointment, a raw sting like a flame beneath your palm, a dread like a child who’s lost their mother’s hand.
“I’ve offered to take a look at the wiring!” Kevin exclaims. “I told you, a D is passing!”
“Kev, babe,” you reply. “I really, truly appreciate your enthusiasm, but you’ll probably just make it worse. And then my landlord will hate me and keep my security deposit and write me awful references and I’ll have to live in an endless string of ancient, hideous apartments until I die.”
“It’s an electrical problem?” Casablanca asks, pushing his aviator sunglasses up into his unruly hair. His unveiled eyes are a blueish grey—they remind you of one of the candles, maybe Beach Walk or Bahama Breeze—and very direct. He stares at you and you stare back, and at some point you realize that everyone is waiting for you to answer.
“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess so. Sometimes nothing happens when I flip the switch. That’s the extent of my handyman knowledge, unfortunately.”
Casablanca nods. “I could take a look, if you like.”
Not Beach Walk. Not Bahama Breeze. Warm Luxe Cashmere, maybe. “Now that really is too generous. I couldn’t possibly put a rock star to work on my terrible apartment.”
“John’s got a degree in electrical engineering, that’s right in his wheelhouse,” Brian counters.
“Yes,” Roger says, grinning, teasing in a way that has absolutely no malice in it. “He’s more of an engineer than a rock star anyway, isn’t he?”
“Seriously?” Casablanca—John, you mentally correct yourself—doesn’t seem much like an electrical engineer. But Roger’s right: he doesn’t really seem like a rock star, either. What John seems like is steady and abiding and perceptive, attentive, unflinching. He studies you like some people study paintings, like you once studied paintings; not in a passing-by-in-a-crowded-hallway type way but in a patient way, a methodical way, with the quiet that comes from knowing that vision in the frame is older than you will ever be and will still be hanging on that wall when you’re bones in a box somewhere.
Freddie lights a cigarette and puffs on it decadently. Smoking definitely isn’t allowed inside the Yankee Candle shop, but you aren’t about to snap at Freddie Mercury for the second time today. “Oh, let him tinker around in your flat, darling. It’ll make his day.”
“Is it far?” John asks you.
“No, really, Casa…uh, I mean, John, I appreciate the offer more than I could possibly express but I—”
“It’s just a few blocks north,” Kevin says, and tosses you a wily smile.
“How convenient!” Freddie trills. “When does your shift end, dear?”
“Not until 5:30.”
“She can take a long lunch break.” Another smile from Kevin. “Honestly, there’s not much to do around here now that the Great Candle Massacre of 1981 has been remediated.”
“Splendid!” Freddie says, radiant.
You shake your head, very slowly. “This is the weirdest day of my life.”
“Then you clearly haven’t lived enough,” Freddie quips.
“Fred!” Roger presses. “Are we going to the bookstore down the street or not? That was the whole deal, we suffer through your candles, you suffer through our books.”
“You didn’t seem to be suffering,” Brian says.
“Of course I’m suffering. That cashier over there almost murdered me,” Roger slings back.
Freddie sighs and rolls his large, dark, expressive eyes. “Yes, darling, of course, don’t give yourself an aneurism. We’ll go to the bookstore, John can rendezvous with us later.” Now he turns to you. “We’ll send a car to your flat at 7 to pick you and Kevin up for the show tonight. Don’t let John leave without knowing your address. Wear something deliciously opulent. Lots of sparkle. Maybe furs.”
“I make eight dollars an hour,” you tell him.
“Or you could just wear nothing.”
“Sparkle and furs it is.”
Freddie chuckles and turns to the men in black. “Chubby, my dear?”
The towering bearlike Irishman replies: “Yeah, I’ll go with John. Don’t wreck anything else while I’m gone. Don’t get yourselves deported before the show. EMI will have your heads on spikes.”
Freddie pretends to be scandalized. “Causing destruction? We would never.” He saunters towards the shop door, jingling the bells as he swings it open, and waves like royalty. “See you tonight, darlings!”
“Bye!” Kevin shouts after him. And then, after Freddie, Roger, Brian, and the two non-bearlike men in black have departed: “Oh my god I just met Freddie Mercury and he’s amazing and he knows I exist and he spoke to me and tonight he’s sending a car to take me to a concert and I’m going to have front row seats and what if he invites me to have a drink afterwards oh my god.”
John, evidently unaffected, prompts you: “So your place is just a few blocks away?”
“Yeah. Just let me get my coat…”
The man in black—Chubby, as Freddie had introduced him—fetches your coat off the rack by the door and holds it up so you can slip inside it. No one has ever done that for you before.
“…Thanks…?” You button your coat, feeling a little like royalty yourself at the moment.
John pulls open the door, the tiny metal bells jangling, and gestures out into the streets of downtown Montreal. He’s wearing his aviator sunglasses again; the November wind gusts through his hair. You catch threadbare ghosts of cigarette smoke and cologne that the breeze lifts from his skin like pages of a book. And he smiles, just barely. “After you.”
You walk north together along the path of the sidewalk with your hands in your pockets, your breath fog in the cold, weaving through the bustling crowds of tourists and holiday shoppers, Chubby trailing not far behind and displaying his talent for keeping watch while not letting on that he is. To even your own horror, you can’t seem to shut up.
“John, this is so kind of you, this is completely unnecessary, you really shouldn’t feel like you owe me anything because Freddie already paid for the candles twice over and I was totally unprofessional for yelling at customers, even annoying customers, and Kevin and I are already getting a free concert tonight and so—”
“Okay,” John says firmly. “You have to talk about something else now.”
“I can’t talk about anything else. All I can think about is how ridiculous this is.”
“Have you lived in Montreal long?” he asks, very casually, as if you’re strangers in line next to each other at Starbucks.
“My whole life.” Minus a little over three years, but you don’t need to get into that. “My parents live over in Verdun, right on the St. Lawrence River.
“Sounds scenic.”
“It certainly is.” You’re trying not to look at John, because every time you do it’s hard to stop. You look at the cars rolling by instead. “This is super embarrassing, and I don’t mean to offend you, but what exactly do you do in Queen?”
He’s not offended; he thinks it’s hilarious. “I’m the bassist.”
“Oh, that makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“Yeah, bassists are quiet and reliable or whatever. Bassists don’t terrorize Yankee Candle employees.”
“You’re not a Queen fan?”
“I’m a casual and appreciative listener, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I couldn’t pick any of you out of a lineup, clearly. Roger is the drummer, right?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Drummers are feral, almost universally. Which means Brian must be lead guitar.”
“And what do you think of lead guitarists?”
“Word on the street is that they are brilliant yet micromanaging egomaniacs, but I don’t want to bash your friend or anything.”
John chuckles, like there’s some joke you aren’t in on yet. “No, please, bash away. So you prefer bassists.”
And finally you do look at him, and you regret it immediately; because now you’re caught in the thoughtful crinkles around his eyes and the barely-there stubble of his cheeks and the playful curve of his lips and how the wind ruffles his auburn hair the same way it steals leaves off of slumbering trees. You almost walk right past the bakery. “Oh, wait, we’re here.”
You lead John and Chubby upstairs to your chronically irritating apartment. John removes his sunglasses, inspects your bathroom light switch, then asks if you have a specific kind of screwdriver. You bring him the toolkit that has lived beneath the kitchen sink since before you moved in and he roots around, finds what he’s searching for, and unfastens the light switch plate from the wall.
“Please don’t electrocute yourself,” you fret, as Chubby meanders around in the living room and tries not to intrude. “If you die your groupies will never forgive me.”
“Who says I’ve got groupies?” John replies, amused.
“I just assumed all rock stars do.” Your eyes flick down to his hands as he fidgets with the wiring; and you notice randomly—or, maybe, not all that randomly—that he’s not wearing a ring. You’re still ruminating over that when he returns the light switch plate to the wall, secures each of the four screws with a few deft twists of his wrist, and performs a test flip. The light turns on immediately.
“Mission accomplished,” John says mildly.
“What?! No, no way, no freaking way.” You flip the switch again. The light turns off and on obediently. You try it at least five more times. Perfection. “…How?!”
“Just a few loose wires. No great hardship.” He tucks the screwdriver back into the toolkit.
You gape at him. “That took you…like…two minutes.”
“Aren’t you glad my band wandered into your candle shop and almost demolished the place today?” He rests his hands on his waist; his sturdy, skillful, ringless hands. “Anything else I can fix for you?”
“Definitely not.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He stares at you. You stare back.
“Stop looking at my fucked up eyeliner.”
John laughs. It’s a delightfully clear, disarming sound. “That’s not what I was doing.”
“I should fix my makeup and go back to work now. And you should probably go help your friends burn down the bookstore or blow up a Starbucks or do whatever else is on your agenda for today.”
“Soundcheck and dinner, actually,” John says. He slides the toolkit back beneath your kitchen sink, meets Chubby by the front door, and pauses there to give you one last lingering, laden gaze. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“In my best furs,” you purr in your most convincing Freddie Mercury impression.
“Or nothing at all,” John suggests levelly. And then he’s gone.
~~~~~~~~~~
It turns out better than you thought it would. Your tan, knee-high suede boots are celebratory without being too uncomfortable. Kevin brings you a faux fur jacket that he stole from Patrick during the breakup. You find a glittery black dress in the back of your closet that you once loved, then couldn’t stand to look at, then forgot existed entirely; but tonight it’s like you’re seeing it with brand new eyes. It fits even better than you remember. In the mirror, you look like a stranger and a hauntingly familiar acquaintance and yourself all at once.
Chubby arrives in a black limousine at precisely 7pm, parks along the curb next to the bakery, and honks the horn twice. You and Kevin dash down the narrow steps and climb into the backseat, finding complimentary cigarettes and bottled water and chilled champagne. As the limo rolls though Montreal under changing traffic lights, Kevin prattles on about the band, their history, their albums, their tours…and John in particular. He tries to tempt you. You resist valiantly…for the first fifteen minutes, anyway.
Finally, you sigh in capitulation. “Okay. Fine. I get it. What do you know about him?”
“I know he’s divorced,” Kevin says, wiggling his eyebrows. “I saw it on the cover of a tabloid a while back. Very contentious, spicy stuff. He’s got like eight kids.”
“He does not have eight kids!”
“Okay, maybe not eight. But he has a lot,” Kevin insists.
You rearrange your hair with deliberate flippantness. “What do I care if he’s divorced?”
Kevin grins. “You know why you care.”
“Stop,” you plead.
“Look, all I’m saying is that he definitely likes you. And you like him. And I haven’t seen you like anybody, ever, in the…wait, let me count…the nine whole months that I’ve known you. When was the last time you even had a boyfriend? When was the last time you got laid? Oh my god, it hasn’t been nine months, has it?! That’s way too long to go without sex. No wonder you’re so serious all the time. It all makes sense now. You poor thing. You’re in dick withdrawal.”
“Assuming that’s my problem—which it isn’t, by the way—if I wanted to get laid there are far easier ways to accomplish that.”
“Sure,” Kevin says. “But you don’t want just any dick. You want British bassist dick. John Deacon dick. Casablanca dick.”
“This friendship is terminated.”
Kevin cackles, pouring himself a glass of champagne that bubbles over the top and spills onto the limo floor. “I’m really glad you’re here with me. I’m glad we can do this together.”
You fill a champagne flute with bottled water and clink your glass against his, smiling. The limo is turning into the parking lot of the Montreal Forum. “Me too.”
~~~~~~~~~~
The backstage room that Chubby escorts you and Kevin to after the show is full of chatter and heavy smoke and roadies and fans and musicians and journalists, trays of hors d'oeuvres, wine and Stella Artois and vodka and tequila and rum, the electric promise of things that will go unmentioned in the morning. There are stacks of stereo speakers in the corner rumbling out Another One Bites The Dust. You and Kevin camp out on a green velvet couch—making small talk with each other to avoid making it with anyone else—until the band arrives.
John is still wearing his concert outfit: blue pants, blue shirt, a black leather jacket that gives him an edge like a knife. He passes out a few polite nods; but Freddie and Roger are undeniably the suns in this room, and the guests their planets. Freddie is soon surrounded by a constellation of followers and whisks Kevin away with him. John, meanwhile, comes straight to where you’re sitting on the couch and stands in front of you with his messy hair and his veil of cologne and his mystery-candle-blue eyes.
“Can I get you anything?” he asks in that calm, measured way that you’ve learned he has. “Rum and Coke? Moscow Mule? Hurricane? I’ve been on a mojito kick recently.”
“I don’t drink.” And you wait for the inevitable awkwardness that usually follows that sentence, when he says why? or seriously? or maybe just oh in wilted disappointment.
Instead, what John says is this: “No problem. Rum minus the Coke?”
You smile up at him. You can’t help yourself. “That would be perfect.”
There are innumerable drinks already poured on a table, dark carbonated liquid trembling in red plastic cups as the bass from the stereo speakers quakes through the crowded, droning, smoke-hazed room. John moves from cup to cup, taking tentative sips before shaking his head and putting them back down on the table. After each attempt, he casts you a rueful smirk before continuing on to the next cup. At last, he finds two unadulterated Cokes and brings them to the couch: one for you, and one for him. He sits beside you with one of his legs crossed over the other, a lit cigarette in his right hand, a red plastic cup of Coke in his left, and his eyes on you in a way that isn’t hungry or arrogant or restless but merely, benignly contemplative. You find yourself thinking of paintings in museums again, you even start to feel a little like one; and you wonder what colors he sees in you, what types of brushstrokes, what signatures scribbled in the corners of the canvas, what shadows painstakingly penciled in to mimic the angles of the sun.
You tell John about growing up in Montreal, about autumn strolls along the St. Lawrence River, about snowfalls and Mont-Royal and Chinatown and the Notre-Dame Basilica, about the exhilarating turmoil of the Summer Olympics in 1976. You tell him about how Kevin is in his last year at Concordia University and works part-time at the Yankee Candle shop for money to invest in his hair gel and travel fund. You tell him so many things he doesn’t notice all the parts you leave out. In return, John tells you about himself; not about John Deacon the bassist of Queen, but about the understated man who likes cars and electronics and the Beatles and tea in the evenings beside a roaring fireplace. And when his arm comes to rest on the back of the green velvet couch, and then across your shoulders, and then around your waist, it doesn’t feel strange at all. You lean into him as you exchange stories and clandestine giggles until you’re nearly in his lap, and that doesn’t feel strange either. And you haven’t had a drop of alcohol—you haven’t in almost a full year, in fact—but you feel a little drunk tonight, because your cheeks are hot and the room is blurry and the world is brimming with a pure, rose-gold, uncomplicated happiness.
The other band members periodically stop by to say hello, clutching their drinks and making stilted pleasantries as you and John smile drowsily up at them, looking nothing like the soberest people in the room. Chubby and the rest of the men in black are simultaneously omnipresent and scarce, which you are beginning to think is a requirement inked into their job description. Kevin, having been fully absorbed into Freddie’s entourage, is beaming and flushed and extremely, blissfully tipsy. And they all watch you and John not with scandalized sideways glances but with warm approval swimming in their gleaming eyes.
“I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you yet,” you tell John when you are alone again. “For improving my dreadful apartment. So thank you. You really didn’t have to do that. I hate that I marred your time in Montreal with unpaid labor.”
He shrugs it off. “I like fixing things. It’s what I’m best at.”
“Besides being an internationally acclaimed rock star, you mean.”
“I’m honestly not so sure I’m cut out for the rock star life.”
“You are, though. I saw you. I watched you all night.”
John just stares at you, and then he leans in even closer, inhaling deeply. You can feel the heat of his breath on your collarbone, your shoulder, your neck; goosebumps spring up across your skin like stars at twilight. “What the hell is that? Perfume? Lotion? Shampoo?”
“It’s probably sugar and baking bread, because I live on top of a bakery.”
“Does Yankee Candle make anything that smells like you?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “They definitely do not.”
“They should,” John murmurs. And with the rough whirlpools of his fingertips he turns your face to his so he can kiss you.
It should be kind of humiliating, right? Making out with some guy you just met on a green couch in front of thirty strangers, your hands getting tangled in each other’s hair, your lips meeting again and again, taunting darts of the tongue and quick painless bites and stifled moans and grasping tugs at clothes that you’re starting to wish weren’t there at all. It should feel embarrassing, you should feel overexposed, here in this land of unfamiliar expectations and accents and faces. But no one seems to be watching too closely. This must be so tame in the world of rock stars, it occurs to you; almost wholesome. And you can’t remember a time you’ve ever felt more at peace.
“There’s a pool table in the next room,” someone says, startling you, and you break away from John to discover Roger perched on the arm of the couch, grinning coyly as he sips his emerald glass bottle of Stella Artois. “I mean…you know. If you’re into that. John’s got all sorts of moves, we played for days at a time at Ridge Farm. You could challenge him to a round or two. Place bets. But be warned…he’s a total pool shark.”
“Is he?” you ask mischievously, clasping the lapel of John’s leather jacket. Even if you freed him, he shows no indication of retreating. He’s raking his knuckles back and forth along the length of your thigh that your little black dress leaves exposed, never venturing above the hem.
Roger winks. “Just thought you might want to know.” Then he hops off the couch and disappears into the crowd again.
John is trying to keep his eyes locked on yours, and no lower. He’s trying to not be even vanishingly forceful. He’s trying not to sway you. But you know exactly what he wants. “Do you…?”
“Show me how to play pool,” you whisper. And you lead him through the shuffling bodies and boisterous, increasingly intoxicated laughter and cumulus clouds of cigarette smoke to the door on the other side of the room.
Beyond the threshold you find a pool table and not much else. It’s terribly unceremonious; it’s absolutely perfect. You can hear Blondie’s Call Me playing back in the packed room where the rest of the band is still reveling, the bass crawling through the walls to radiate in your eardrums, your bones. You lock the door and reach out to flick off the harsh florescent lights, but John stops you. You don’t have to ask him why. He wants to be able to see you. He asks if this is okay—again, wordlessly, with the forthright blue of his eyes—and you nod. And then he kisses you as you drag him in, breathing in his cologne and nicotine, tasting the virgin Coke on his lips that he drank just for you.
John tears off his leather jacket. You toss the faux fur that Kevin lent you to the floor. You climb up onto the pool table, and John follows you. You yank off his shirt, link your suede boots around him as he positions himself between your naked, down-soft thighs. And then John stops.
“Look, I have to be honest,” he says. His hands tremble as they cradle the small of your back, just barely. “I’m newly divorced, and I’m really out of practice, I mean really out of practice, and this is not at all my usual way of doing things, and if I’m total rubbish or only last like thirty seconds or something I just want to apologize in advance and swear that I’ll do absolutely everything I can to make this worth it for you. Because I like you. I really, really like you.”
“I’m a little rusty too,” you confess with a small, sheepish smile. But he doesn’t need to know exactly how rusty you are, or in how many ways, all those layers of blood-hued ruin that spin webs from the skin down to the marrow.
John seems relieved. “Then maybe we’re even.”
You’re not even, you’re nowhere close; but it’s comforting that he thinks you could be.
John kisses you again. His hands find the zipper on the back of your dress, and then the tiny metal clasp of your bra, and then the black lace of your panties…and then everything else as well.
~~~~~~~~~~
Afterwards, you return together to the green velvet couch in the next room, not with bashful swiftness but with your hands entwined, your eyes satiated and calm, your clothes unapologetically rumpled. The partying is winding down. The song pouring through the stereo speakers is In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins. And now you and John don’t talk very much at all; you just sit there with fresh cups of Coke, your head resting against his chest, his left arm draped around you, watching the rest of the universe spin on like a carousel as your feet stay rooted to the earth.
“So you’re the smart one,” you say eventually. “You must be, with an electrical engineering degree.”
“You’d be surprised. We’re rather erudite, as far as rock stars go.” He smiles drowsily down at you. “Freddie’s got a degree in graphic art and design. Roger has one in biology. Brian has the better part of a PhD in astrophysics. He might even go back to finish it one day. He probably will, just to be able to lord it over us.”
“Wow,” you reply, distantly, suddenly feeling very small.
“What did you study?” he asks you.
In truth, you never finished college; but you aren’t going to tell John that. “Something useless.”
John is intrigued, and perhaps a little concerned as well. His brow furrows with grooves like lines of fortune in an open palm.
“I wanted to be a painter,” you explain, smirking at the absurdity. “But the world doesn’t need painters anymore. They have pictures and videos that are just as clear as real life. They don’t need my fantasies or interpretations. They have reality.”
“I think we still need painters,” John disagrees, his calloused fingertips tracing lazy circles around your bare shoulder.
“Really?”
“Yeah. For when reality requires improving.”
You let a few moments of silence tick by. And then you put on your faux fur jacket, finish the last of your Coke, stand and find your balance on the low heels of your boots with exhausted, shaky calves.
John jolts upright, somewhat alarmed. “Hey, you don’t have to—”
“This was great, John. This was the best night I’ve had in a long time. So thank you for that. But I have to go home now.”
“Okay.” He studies you, processing. “Okay, okay. I’ll have Chubby drive you.”
“That’s really not necessary, I can get a cab…”
But John has already waved Chubby over, and the massive man appears serendipitously with an impossible degree of stealth. Kevin finds you, staggering, babbling breathlessly about all of his adventures, showing you where Freddie and Roger and Brian signed his chest with a black Sharpie, repeating the same stories on an identical loop every few minutes. As you leave, you offer John a brief parting wave; and he returns it, like a reflection in a mirror, but he’s wearing a pensive frown and eyes dark with thought. Then again, maybe you are too.
Chubby leads you and Kevin outside to the waiting limousine. You slip into the backseat, ply Kevin with bottled water, open the sunroof so moonlight and cold, reviving November air can flood in like a river.
Kevin is coming down now from the high of the champagne and the concert and the carousing with Freddie Mercury. He blinks, soaking you in, really seeing you for the first time in hours. “Wow, you had a good night with Casablanca. You had a really good night.”
“Yeah,” you reply softly, resting your head against the window and watching the stars and streetlights pass by above like seasons. “And it will never happen again.”
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Continuation of this post. Just a heads up my phone is at one percent and i didnt look ANYTHING up about NASA (im not even sure im spelling it right tbh) so i have no idea about anything im talking about. Its all just how i assume it works ok ok
The team assigned to keeping track of the facilities ghost activity has finally been approved to try and capture said ghost, after days of convincing the higher ups ghosts are real and yes one is haunting lap 2b, and sending it to space. The goal was it send it to a already in orbit station with a team thats been training on the side for the tests they wanted to run.
It finally came time to try and contain the ghost. After a few days of research and study someone just suggested they try all the classic stuff, for fun clearly not thinking anything would come of it just a sort of break activity. Somebody set up some equipment that everyone sees on a basic episode of Ghost Adventures (i honestly wish i have faith my phone wouldnt die so i could look up literally any ghost hunting gear) and begain asking questions.
Nothing was really coming from it besides the normal stuff they would get “who is the ghost haunting our lab” with a “you mom” in response or a “how did you get here” “i died duh” but then once someone jokingly ask “do you wannt go to space” Phantom himself showed up right in Steves face seconds after he asked the question (you should have seen him jump lmao). The response surprised everyone in the room. “Are you SERIOUS??? I can go to SPACE???”
The room fell silent as everyone just stared in awe. They had all read about Phantom. From day one he was the first ghost they used find out more about the paranormal. No one actually went to Amity to seek Phantom out but the information about the ghost was almost endless. Everyone in the room was just shocked to findout it was this ghost that was haunting the lab.
Very much aware of everyones stares Phantom floated back from poor Steves face. Slowly floating up and back a bit he rubbed at his neck and gave an akward laugh “sorry”. When no one made a move to clear the air that was now felt so thick to Phantom we was sure he could cut it he sheepishly spoke “ill uhh just uh excuse myself then.. since you guys are uhh doing.. that”. Turning to go someone finally shook off the shock and jumped up. It was a tall man with brown hair and glasses, Jim they call him even though his name is Robert, “WAIT WAIT HANG ON.”
Phantom froze midair and flipped backwards as if we was laying on the air, tilting his head waiting for Jim, who he knew full wells real name is Robert, to continue. Coughing akwardly Jim spoke again “We have been studying ghosts more and want to understand better physical properties of them, mainly in space yes. Like can a ghost still float in soace or will the struggle with the change in gravity.” Being cut off by Stacie who seemed a bit excited “Can they withstand the conditions of space without containment or are they restricted because of the last of a normal atmosphere.” The questions came barreling in one after another. As each person in the room shouted a different idea they had for what they wanted to test.
Ofcourse feeling a bit overwhelmed but the sudden barrage of questions he put his hands up backing away a bit stammering not knowing what to say. Steve finally recovered from his scare was the one to step in and calm everyone one. Steve turned to Phantom, who clearly looked grateful for some help, and asked “So how about it Phantom, wanna go to space and help us figure some stuff out?” He reached his hand out in hopes the ghost would shanke it and that his team was right in asumming Phantom wasnt actually evil. To which Phantom obviously responded by flaoting down to just about the floor, but not touching down, and grasping Stevens hand he spoke “yeah, i think i would”
#danny phantom#holy crap still 1% send help#danny feels out of character to me but whatever#i should be sleeping but i really wanted to play jackbox games and no one would join so laying in bed blogging it is#yall i lowkey hate this blog not gonna lie#katie get out of my tags#i miss making them despressing#it was like the one place i actually spoke about how ibfeel smh#im hyped for lunch tomorrow#i invited tyler#ruby tuesdays hell yea#he gets off at four
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Technology Breakthroughs 2019
what is technology:
technology is the knowledge of techniques and processes mixed with skills and methods that enables human to apply this knowledge, technology had started by the pre-historic man when he used a very simple tools to secure his living from food and protection, then technology uses evolved from just a surviving tool to become the backbone of living that interfered in every single detail of human daily life, from the Toothpick to the space-traveling that is like a dream coming true as their rich tourists had made a space trip and its expected that it will be common and affordable trip in the upcoming years, so let’s talk about the most exciting technology breakthroughs in 2019.
Top Breakthroughs
5G Technology:
2019 is going to witness the releasing of the fifth generation of cellular mobile communication (5G) that featured with reduced latency, energy saving, cost reduction, higher system capacity, and massive device connectivity, and it’s the natural evolution of the 4G Technology that had been released on 2009 in Sweden and that was a great breakthrough in the history of mobile internet that the internet speed could reach 100 megabytes per second for high mobility mobile communication, so let’s get back to 5G technology that its speed is expected to reach 2500 MB (Megabyte) per second as peck performance, 5G mobile devices had seen a great improvement in technicality as it depend on a cell communicate by radio waves with a local antenna array and automated transceiver in the cell with low power consumption rate the antenna is connected with the telephone network through optical fiber cables or wireless backhaul connection, the devices that will equip the 5G technology is going to have 4G LTE capability as the 5G access is not available everywhere till now, the 5G is going to be used in the autonomous vehicles to support it with data about the surrounding environment in real time and nearby vehicles that could exchange their locations and intentions, the roadway is also able to deliver traffic conditions immediately ahead, which will ease the task of driving, also 5G technology is going to be compatible for laptops computers to enhance its Internet communication.
Virtual Reality (VR):
Virtual reality (VR) technology had started in the early 1950th as Morton Heling wrote about the “theater experience”, and built a prototype of Sensorama vision dubbed in 1962, this device displays engaged multiple scenes, then he developed the “Telesphere Mask”, the year 1968 had seen the releasing of the first head mounting display (HMD) system for simulation applications by Douglas Engelbart and other scientists, the 70th had seen a great leap in the virtual reality technology by interfering in many fields like medical, military and even space science as David Em was the first one to produce navigable virtual worlds in NASA laboratory, in 1979 Eric Howlett developed the Extra Perspective (LEEP) optical system which make the virtual reality helmets available today, 1991 had seen the invention of the first cubic impressive room allowing people to see their own bodies in relation to each other’s in the room, between the years 1982 and 1992 Nicole Stenger created the first real time interactive impressive movie that viewed by using a dataglove and a high resolution googles, then the new millennium comes with new update in VR technology, by the year 2001 the first pc based on cubic room had been invented, in the year 2007 google had released the street panoramic view by using 3D stereoscopic mode, 2013 had seen the start of using the virtual reality technology in smart phones by using a headset that used in virtual and augmentation of reality, the Oculus VR project had seen the light Valve Corporation, in the year 2014 Facebook had bought the Oculus VR for 2 Million dollar, and also Sony had announced the launch of the PlayStation VR project, In the year 2015 Google had announced the launch of cardboard a do-it-yourself stereoscopic viewer for smartphones, 2016 had seen a great leap in the VR technology development by many companies specially HTC which had shipped the Vive Steam VR headset as the major commercial release in this year, Sony had continued the development of the wireless headset and evolved it and released the Vive for PlayStation VR. 2019 is going to see a great leap in VR technology as Sony is working to release 3D Rubber Motion Controller for PlayStation VR, SOMNIACS company is working on Somniacs Birdly VR Flying Simulator, but this will not be the last update in the VR technology.
Artificial intelligence (AI) technology
Artificial intelligence concept had started to be known from the year 1940 by the invention of the programmable digital computer, the machine based on the abstract essence of mathematical reasoning, Dartmouth college had founded the AI research field in the year 1956, by the year 1973 the artificial inelegance had faced a new challenge from the USA and the British governments as they stopped the funding undirected research into artificial intelligence, the investors started to take the role of the governments in the funding this research but by the 80th they started to withdraw from this business because of the absence of the needed computer power (hardware), but this all had changed by the beginning of the 21 century as that the machine learning was successfully solved a lot of academic and industrial problems, the AI development in the new millennium started with the creation of the interactive toys (smart toys) in the year 2000, in the year 2004 Nasa had navigated the surface of Mars with autonomously robotic exploration rovers, in 2005 Honda released a humanoid robot that is able to walk as fast as humans and he worked as a food servant in restaurant, but the year 2005 had seen a new thinking in the AI technology by the initiation of the blue brain project that aimed to identify the structure of human brain and detect its function in disease and health, between years 2010 and 2014 the humans are being able to communicate and even speak with robots as in 2011 Apple had launched the Siri project and in year 2012 google had launched Google Now, and then the turn comes on Microsoft that released the smartphone apps the uses the natural language to answer the received questions, make recommendations and even perform actions, Artificial Intelligence (AI) Technology is going to see a great leap in 2019 as this year will see the release of:
1- Automated CCTV security cameras:
that featured by:
It could predict potential vulnerabilities, threats and menace.
Tracking missing children.
Tracking theft vehicles.
Quick action.
Identifying criminals and suspected people between the large crowd.
2-general adversarial networks (GANs):
A new concept that will be released in 2019 that will make your AI smarter as an example it could be able to distinguish between the real image or a realistic image that is created by AI technology.
3-Chatbot:
Chatbot that is also known as Smartbot, Talkbot, chatterbot, IM Bot, interactive agent, conventional interface and artificial conversational entity, the Chatbot concept is an artificial intelligence which conducts a conversation via auditory or textual methods, this technology had started in the early 20th century in the year 1960, but in the middle of the century that this technology had turned from simple conversions to powerful promotional tools for media brands and e-commerce businesses, 80% of companies are expected to be using the Chatbot by the year 2020.
3D Printing
3D printing is a number of various computer controlled processes to create a three-dimension object is made by joining and solidifying the material, 3D printing had started to enter the production industry in the early 80th particularly in 1981 when the Japanese scientist Hideo Kodama has invented two methods for fabricating three dimensional plastic models with photo hardening method, the use of 3D printing in production started with functional or aesthetical prototypes then it turned to be additive manufacturing that it can be used in manufacturing a very complex shape or geometry that is pre designed by 3D model or a CAD file, 2019 is going to see a leap in 3D printing specially in the metal 3D printing which depend on digital model that uses layer by layer material build-up approach which gives the metal a full density and high precision, the metal 3D printing technology is going to be used in manufacturing aerospace, oil & gas, automobile and marine applications, 3D printing is going to use new materials and enter the phase of mass production with high technology machines, 3D printing will see new types in 2019 by these types:
Fused Deposition Modelling (FDM): is also known as Fused Filament Fabrication which is the most commonly available and cheapest type of 3D printing.
stereolithographic (SLA): which is known as the world first 3D printing technology as its history returns to the year 1986, stereolithographic printing is Featured by using mirrors but it also had a big disadvantage that it takes too long to trace the cross-section of an object when compared to DLP.
Digital Light Processing (DLP): this type of 3D printing uses a digital light projector to flash one image for each layer at once or images of multiple flashes for larger parts, the output of this type of 3D printing is a digital image composed of square pixels resulting from rectangular blocks called Voxels.
Selective laser sintering (SLS): its creating objects by using Powder Bed Fusion technology and polymer powder, this type of 3D printing is going to be commonly used due to its low price and this type is featured by using a CO2 laser beam in scanning the object surface.
Material Jetting (MJ): this type of 3D printing has the same concept of normal inkjet printers but the difference in this printing type is that it builds multiple layers of ink upon each other until it turns to solid part, Material Jetting featured by offering objects made from multi-material printing and with full-colour.
Drop On Demand (DOD): this type of 3D printing featured by using a pair of ink Jets, one looks like a wax material and the other used for dissolvable support material, DOD printing featured by using a fly-cutter that skims the build area after the creation of each layer to ensure the commencing of this layer, this type of printing is used in casting the lost wax and suitable for other mould making applications.
Sand binder jetting: mainly this type of 3D printing depends on mixing the PMMA powder with binding liquid as an agent to produce parts colors are added to the mixture through another nozzle, binder jetting useful in production of sand cast molds and cores as they are generally made of artificial sand or (silica), this type of 3D printing is featured with its low cost and quite easily integrated into existing manufacturing of foundry process without disruption.
Metal binder jetting: this type of 3D printing is used in the fabrication of metal objects, as the metal powder is bond together using a more poly binding agent, metal binder jetting is featured by producing complex geometries objects beyond conventional manufacturing techniques, this process done on main steps of infiltration process then adding bronze is the object then we go for the sintering process, the output of this printing type had an issue of non-uniform shrinkage that is solved in the design stage.
Direct Metal Laser Sintering (DMLS): this type of 3D printing is like SLS type but the difference in that it is applied on metal objects, laser is used in fusing the metal powder at a point reaching molecular level, DMLS printing process needs a structural support as the output object is Vulnerable to distortion and wrapping due to residual stress.
Electron Beam Melting (EBM): high energy Electron beam is used in the metal fusion; EBM printing is featured with superior building speed upon any other 3D printing types because of its high energy density.
Financial
Blockchain:
Blockchain or blockchain is a growing list of records called blocks using cryptography, blockchains are resistance to modification of the data that was first described in the year 1991 but it was actually created as public transaction ledger of the cryptocurrency (bitcoin) by Satoshi Nakamoto in the year 2008, it is managed by peer to peer network collectivity adhering to a protocol for internal code communication and validating new blocks once recorded, blockchains has many types:
Public blockchains:
Public blockchains have absolutely no access restrictions, its useful as that anyone has a connection to the internet could send transactions as validator, bitcoins and Ethereum are the most known public blockchains Applications.
Private blockchains:
Private blockchains feathered with high privacy as there is no one could join the network until he had been invited by the network administrations, and even the participant and validator access is restricted, this type of blockchains is the most appropriate for companies that are interested in Blockchain technology because of the high control level, its main implement is in accounting and record keeping producer’s business.
Consortium blockchains:
Consortium blockchains are semi-decentralized as its controlling lies between the hands of many companies might control one node in the network and not just a single organization that controls the network.
Blockchains technology will see a great leap in 2019 as these types will rise:
Blockchain will work as a service (BaaS):
BaaS is a cloud-based service that allows customers to build their own Blockchain powered products and it could be including applications, smart contracts, and other Blockchain features without the need to set up or build Blockchain based infrastructure.
Hybrid Blockchain:
Hybrid Blockchain works by providing the best features and functionality of both private and public blockchains, hybrid Blockchain isn’t widely used but it is considered to be the most appropriate for banks.
Federated Blockchain:
Federated Blockchain is the natural evolution of the normal Blockchain, it looks like the private Blockchain but has more customizable outlook, federated blockchains mainly used in financial services.
Ricardian contracts:
Ricardian contracts are the start of the dependence on legal contracts that cryptographically signed and verified, Ricardian contracts provide unique solutions so that they could be understood without mediator or service for both human and computers.
Interoperability between Blockchains:
Interoperability Blockchains aims to improve information across several networks or other Blockchains networks, the cross chain services improve the daily use of Blockchains, 2019 will see an improvement in the interoperability Blockchains technology, the main applications for Interoperability Blockchains are BlockNet, Aion, WanChain, and others.
Stable Coins:
Stable coins are the side product of the cryptocurrencies, that is affected by the market condition and the stability maintained in all time, most of the stable coins are fiat-chained but they are also backed by commodity stable coins, the main applications for stable coins are everyday currency transaction and P2P payments.
Security Tokens:
Security tokens had replaced the ICOs because it is more secure and protects the investor’s rights redefines the whole investment process, by the current year 2019 investors will tend to use security tokens (STO) than (ICO).
Financial Relegation:
Financial relegation is a type of relegation or supervision, which targets financial institutions with certain requirements, guidelines and restrictions that aims to maintain integrity of the financial system, this system could be handled by government or non-government organization, financial relegation had initiated by the Dutch authorities in the early modern period on the year 1610 as short selling which means that the buyer doesn’t own the asset but he borrows it from the seller and returns it back after short time with profit, then the Financial relegation took its development way until it took the form of banks in our days, the 2010 financial crisis had affected the relegation in a positive way as regulators put a fourth substantial number of new strengthened regulations and expanded requirements, 2018 had seen a great focus on legislative agenda towards protecting the consumers and investors and encouraging financial technology innovation, 2019 is going to see big leap in the financial relegation field as Asian investors will continue their 2018 financial vision to make the trajectory of embedding global post-crisis reforms, and make the Asia-pacific outlook the trends navigating guide across the region, in Europe 2019 is expected to be the year of continuity of regulatory terms, As the first half of the year will be finalizing the legislative initiatives to complete the banking Union, strengthen the EMU, and Capital markets Union.
largest technology construction projects in 2019
London Crossrail:
London Crossrail is the world first continues growing underground system that it extends the railway system with 73 miles (117 kilometers) that links between Berkshire and Buckinghamshire this line holds the name of Elizabeth Line that will be divided into two lines, this huge project expected to cost 23 million Pound, London Crossrail had the approval to start to work on it on 2008 and it’s excepted to launch in autumn 2019.
Benban Solar Park:
Benban solar park will be the world largest photovoltaic power station than expected to generate 1650 (MVP), its located in Upper Egypt particularly in Aswan, the Benban solar park is part of Egypt’s Nubian sun project that aims to be part of generating 20% renewable power of total Egyptian needed power, this Egyptian national project is expected to start working by the end of 2019.
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!!DISCONTINUED!! Klance - soulmate au (part 4)
Author’s notes:
update 12th July 2019: This story is unfortunately discontinued. There will not be a next part. I’m really sorry.
Read part 1
Read part 2
Read part 3
“Bold” texts are from Keith, “italic” texts are from Lance
„Wow, that’s… rough?“
„Yes it is! I mean… I meant what I said. I just thought he would...”
“Say that he wants to be more than friends?”
“Yeah…” Lance put his head on the table they were studying at. The library was quiet and Lance had a hard time keeping his voice down while telling Hunk about his horrible not-date date.
“So how did the rest of the da…what happened after that?”
“Well, I was dying on the inside and pretended everything was fine on the outside. So, the usual.”
“Lance!”
Lance sighed and leaned back on his chair. The library’s ceiling suddenly seemed very fascinating to him. “We talked about stuff like favourite movies and such. I asked him about his bike. I had to leave for my seminar and he said he’d text me.”
“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hunk decided and squeezed Lance’s shoulder supportively. “Maybe he just needs some time?”
“And what do I do if he doesn’t? I thought I’d be fine with being just friends but-,” he waved his hands around in a helpless motion. “I was basically doomed when he told me to be nice to my coffee in Spanish. I can’t just NOT crush on him now, you know. And that sucks… big time.”
Hunk smiled sympathetically at him and continued to flip through the book in front of him. “Just take it slow. Take a break for a few days and then invite him to do something and see what it feels like then. He’ll either change his mind or you could just bring me and Pidge along to make the friends thing easier. Maybe that’ll help?”
“Hmm. Yeah, maybe.”
Hunk closed his book and got up. “You up for visiting Pidge and Matt? I don’t think we’re gonna get anything done here right now. Also I think Matt finally got that video game you wanted to play so badly.”
“Nooo, Hunk. You wanted to study. I didn’t mean to distract you, I’m just gonna-“
“It’s fine, Lance. I can’t concentrate anyways. And you helped me so much with my last essay, I think I can go a day without studying.”
Lance smiled at him and got to his feet as well. “Okay. But I swear I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and then we’re gonna take a look at the stuff from Iverson’s physics lecture.” Hunk groaned loudly and made Lance laugh with his desperate expression. “I know, I know. But we both have to get better at that stuff.” He stood behind Hunk and made a gesture over his shoulder like he wanted to show Hunk a beautiful landscape.
“NASA, dude. NASA.”
“Ugh, you’re right. But Matt and Pidge now. My brain needs a break.”
Lance swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I get one of Pidge’s hugs. I love Pidge’s hugs.”
Hunk beside him nodded. “Everyone does, man. They’re the best.”
Wednesday
(3:15am): WTF DUDE? ???
(3:17am): I KNOW SORRY! Its our stupid neighbors having a party…
(3:18am): AT T HIS HOU R???
(3:18am): pls kill them for me
(3:20am): I would but prison isnt as appealing to me as you might think
(3:21am): So ur bad boy attitude knows boundaries? ;)
(3:22am): Dont mock me Im too tired for this
(3:24am): Yeh I can feel that
(3:24am): u really dont deal well without ur beauty sleep
(3:25am): Sorry :( And no, I really dont
(3:31am): KEEEEEEITHH do smth!!!!
(3:32am): I have a test tomorrow !!
(3:34am): OM G IT STOPPED
(3:35am): Keith?
(3:35am): did u kill them?
(3:36am): maybe
(3:36am): KE ITH!
(3:37am): I slipped an anonymous note under their door that I would kill their cat if they didnt turn off the music immediately…
(3:38am): O M G thats cruel
(3:38am): u dont threaten peoples pets
(3:38am): NOT COOL!
(3:39am): chill, I was joking. It said Id call the cops on them
(3:40am): Oh okay good hope ur not just saying that
(3:40am): Also thankk
(3:41am): no problem. Good night, Lance
(3:43am): Lance?
(7:36am): SORRY FELL ASLEEP!
(7:37am): Have fun at work today :)
Friday
(4:12pm): why
(4:25pm): what? u dont like it? ;)
(4:28pm): no
(4:29pm): oh come on! The queen is my best study motivation!
(4:30pm): please just stop
(4:32pm): KEITH! YOU INSULT BEYONCÉ YOU INSULT ME
(4:33pm): Can’t you study to something normal
(4:35pm): Normal normal or you normal?
(4:36pm): I dont care. Just no more beyoncé please. It’s been hours
(4:39pm): Lance?
(4:42pm): really?
(4:42pm): Evanescence? That’s mature…
(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIDE
(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE
(4:45pm): I hate you
(4:46pm): No u dont :)
(4:47pm): STOP THIS MADNESS!
(4:48pm): Hunk says if you come to a college thing with us tomorrow, he’ll stop me for you
(4:50pm): What kind of thing?
(4:51pm): dunno, Hunk wont say, but its really good apparently
(4:53pm): OKAY DEAL NOW PLEASE STOP
(4:54pm): Party-pooper
(4:56pm): Tell Hunk I love him
Keith got off his bike, took off his helmet and unzipped his leather jacket. He headed towards the university building with mixed feelings about what awaited him. He had fought with himself about coming today but eventually the curious side of him had won. Keith wanted to see what Hunk had planned for them and also even if it scared him to admit it…he missed Lance.
Logically he knew that it did not make any sense. They hardly knew each other. But emotionally he just… missed him. He sighed and blinked against the bright sunlight. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes against it and bumped into someone.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“Don’t sweat it. All good here.” A friendly voice interrupted him. The tall boy in front of him looked him over and tilted his head to the side. „Hey, are you Keith by any chance?”
Keith nodded. “The one and only.”
“Oh, great! I’m Hunk.“ Keith took the big hand he was offered and returned the welcoming smile. When Hunk gestured for them to move out of the sun and stand in the tall building’s shadow Keith followed him thankfully.
“Nice to meet you. Thanks for saving me yesterday by the way.”
“Oh, no problem. Lance can get like that sometimes when he’s stressed. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know… finals and all. He’s a bit on edge around this time of the year.”
“No, I get it. NASA is a big thing, who wouldn’t freak out, right?”
Hunk gave a nervous laugh. “Yah, I guess. So umm, Lance had to pick up our friend Pidge, they should be here-“
“Exactly now.” Lance’s voice interrupted them. He stopped next to Hunk and let Pidge whom he had been carrying just now slip off his back.
“Hey, Keith. This is Pidge. They use they pronouns. I guess you already know Hunk by now.” Lance smiled at him and clapped Hunk on the back.
Keith nodded and raised his hand in greeting at Pidge. Immediately he regretted the awkward gesture and lowered his hand quickly.
“What’s up butter cup.” Pidge replied with a grin completely ignoring Keith’s weird behavior, who in return just raised an eyebrow at their choice of words.
“Lance, why did you carry Pidge here? Did you take ‘pick them up’ literally again?” Hunk asked with his hands on his hips.
“They paid me two dollars.”
Pidge shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk. It’s too early.”
“It’s almost noon, Pidge.” Hunk said while shaking his head but there was a visible smile on his lips.
“Exactly. Way too early.”
“I feel you, Pidge.” Keith threw in. “I had three coffees before I got here.”
Pidge yawned and stretched their arms over their head. “Good thinking. I only had one and I feel dead inside.”
“So, Hunk. What is this thing? Why are we here?” Lance asked and absently patted Pidge’s head while they leaned against him, eyes closed and repeatedly yawning.
“We are here, because today…” Hunk made a dramatic pause, “They are having a lecture about space for family and friends of students and-“
“AHHH STAR CEILING?” Lance interrupted Hunk excited while bouncing up and down, Hunk just smiled and nodded.
“Yep, Star ceiling.”
“What exactly is star ceiling?” Keith asked confused. Judging from Lance’s reaction this had to be the best thing in the entire universe.
“It’s only the best thing ever, dude,” Lance started to explain while taking Keith’s arm and pulling him in the direction of a big building.
“They only do this once or twice a year when they have family day for the freshmen and around finals for the really stressed out students so they don’t go all homicidal and stuff.”
They entered the lecture hall and Lance directed them to a row in the back. “It’s basically just a short lecture about space and planets and what we do here at college but at the end they turn off the lights and project stars on the ceiling and walls. Dude…it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It will change you!” He gestured for Keith to sit down in one of the empty seats and sat next to him.
Hunk took the seat on Keith’s other side and Pidge sat next to Lance. It seemed like they were just in time because a man holding a mic entered the small stage. From the corner of his eyes Keith saw Pidge leaning over to Lance and whispering something into his ear. A moment later Lance bent forward so that Hunk and Keith could both hear him.
“Sorry guys, we’re gonna get Pidge more coffee. They are literally about to murder someone. We’ll be back in a minute.” With that they both left the room and Keith was alone with Hunk, which he didn’t mind that much. They had only exchanged a few sentences but Keith already liked the guy.
The man on the stage started talking about the importance of astronomy and explained the different subjects they were teaching. Unfortunately he had a really boring and monotone voice and Keith immediately zoned out. Thank God Hunk was there to keep him entertained.
“I know this stuff isn’t really interesting, especially not when he’s talking,” Hunk pointed in the direction of the stage. “But it’s really worth it. Lance didn’t exaggerate…well maybe a little… but it actually is crazy beautiful.”
“So you three all study astronomy?” Keith asked. This was his opportunity to learn a bit more about Lance and his friends without this nervous feeling he got around his soulmate. Hunk somehow managed to create an atmosphere around him that immediately made Keith feel comfortable.
“Yeah. It was actually Lance who got me into this stuff when we were younger. We met Pidge here on our first day. They are this crazy genius and got into college early. They are only sixteen but way ahead of most of the students here. Turned out they and their brother Matt live in the same building as me and Lance so we hung with them a couple of times and now we’re all basically besties for life.”
“Space nerds unite,” Keith said with a smile.
“Haha, yeah. Basically.”
“So… do you and Pidge wanna get into NASA too or is that only Lance?” Keith checked the stage for a second but the guy was still talking about boring stuff and Keith noticed that a few other people in the audience had started quiet conversations.
“Well Pidge is as good as in, let’s be real. Me… well. Of course NASA is the dream for almost everyone at this university and I would be thrilled… but I’m not as set as Lance if that makes sense. I feel like I could work anywhere as long as I’m close to my friends.” Hunk shrugged and knitted his brows in deep thought before he cleared his throat.
“Lance is working really hard for it though. You have no idea how many scholarships he had to apply for before he finally got a foot in. Didn’t stop him though.” He smiled and Keith could feel how proud he was of his friend. “You know, the first year was rough. He failed an important test two times and was sure they were gonna kick his ass but he studied harder than all of us and now he’s always in the top 5.”
“Wow. That’s really impressive,” Keith heard himself say and immediately wanted to slap himself. Way to sound like a high school fangirl, Kogane. Can we please think before we speak, brain?!
“Yeah it is.” Hunk sighed, unfazed by Keith’s inner distress. “It’s also really hard to watch sometimes though…”
Keith raised an eyebrow at him.
“Not the part where he’s top of the class, no. I mean how he gets there. You can’t imagine how many all-nighters the boy pulls during finals and he always pushes himself to get better. I mean it’s great that he’s improving but sometimes I wish he would allow himself a break.” He stiffened and gave a quick laugh. “I’m talking too much again, aren’t I. Sorry, this must be a weird first impression.”
Keith didn’t say anything for a while and chewed on his lower lip. “Is it really that bad? I mean… I haven’t noticed anything and finals are just around the corner right?” He thought back to the few times he’d seen Lance. He had always looked cheery and well… relaxed.
Hunk seemed to be pondering over his answer for a while. That’s when they heard the door behind them open slowly and Lance and Pidge slipped back into the room, Pidge holding a coffee cup in each hand. Hunk leaned over a bit and whispered just before the other two sat down. “Look at his eyes, he thinks we don’t notice…”
Keith had no idea what he meant by that and was staring at a spot on the floor absently when Lance waved his hand in front of his face to get him out of his trance. “Keith, buddy, my man. They’re about to start, don’t pass out on me now!”
Keith blushed a little and sat up straighter. “Yeah, sorry. Not passing out. Now, let’s see your space magic thing. Hope it’s as good as you made it sound.”
The boy next to him grinned from ear to ear. “Better.”
The crowd around them applauded loudly. Apparently the speech part was over and somebody dimmed the lights, making everyone go silent. It was now completely dark in the hall. Keith could feel his palms getting sweaty. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard.
He whispered, almost inaudible “Lance?” but in this exact moment they turned on the projectors and surprised ahhhhs and ohhhs could be heard through the entire room.
Keith threw his head back so quickly he almost hit it on his seat’s backrest.
Lance’s words hadn’t prepared him for what he was seeing now at all. It was truly just… beautiful. Thousands of little stars were dancing on the ceiling and the floor and just everywhere. He knew he was sitting in a boring lecture hall and he felt incredibly stupid for even thinking so but for a moment he really felt like he was in space. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes wander around the entire room so quickly he was almost getting sick.
Keith was trying to take it all in before it stopped. The stars danced around his fingertips as he raised his hand in front of his face and watched. He wasn’t even questioning how the whole thing worked it was just too… too everything. In a good way.
“Sooo, did I promise too much?” Lance suddenly whispered next to his ear.
Keith just shook his head and then turned it to smile at him. “No, you didn’t. This is great! Thanks for inviting me to this.” Lance smiled at him and then quickly turned his head to the ceiling again. Neither of them mentioned that it had actually been Hunk who invited Keith.
Keith was still staring at Lance’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching the stars being projected onto his skin and their reflections in his eyes. He looked so beautiful like this, it made Keith’s head spin. He wanted to say something, to tell Lance how pretty he was but he bit his tongue instead.
Just friends he reminded himself.
That’s when he remembered Hunk’s words from earlier and looked at Lance’s eyes more closely. What was he supposed to see? The long eyelashes? The small freckles underneath them? The well blended but thick layer of… concealer? Something clicked in his brain. Hunk had mentioned that Lance wasn’t sleeping enough and pushing too hard. Of course he and many others were unable to tell if they didn’t know what to look for. Lance had covered up his dark circles almost perfectly. Almost… Keith turned his gaze to the ceiling again and frowned. Why was he pretending to be fine? It was normal to be tired around finals wasn’t it? Why was he trying to hide it?
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we have to end this now since our time is up,” a voice sounded from the front of the room. “Thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of your day on campus.” They turned off the projectors and disappointment could be heard all around. Some classical song started to play and people started to shift but the lights were still out. Keith dug his nails into his palm and tried to breathe evenly. It’s fine, he tried to tell himself. They’re gonna turn them back on every second. Only they didn’t.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we’re having some trouble back here. We’re sure everything will be fixed soon,” the voice echoed again. “Always a bit hard to find the light switch in the dark.” The voice said and gave a fake laugh. Some parents laughed as well. Keith didn’t. He gulped and pressed deeper into his seat.
He could feel Lance stir in the dark next to him and a hand touching his shoulder. “Keith? Are you okay?” Before Keith could even think of something to respond with the lights were finally turned back on. Keith let out a very deep breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding until now. He quickly unclenched his hands and turned his head to give Lance a small smile.
“All good, yes. I’m a bit sad it was over so quickly though.”
Lance looked at him questioningly for a second longer before he returned the smile. “Right? I wish they would do this more often!”
The group got up and headed out before the mass of people in the hall could block the aisles. The bright sunlight blinded Keith for a moment when they walked outside and he held up his helmet to shield his eyes. Someone walked into him from behind and he quickly turned around to apologize for stopping in the doorway but it was Lance he was looking at. An elderly woman complained about them being in her way and they stepped aside and walked a few feet to get away from the mass.
“Sorry for bumping into you,” Lance started, “It’s just,” he pointed at the helmet in Keith’s hand. “I didn’t notice before because I was so excited about the star thing but… did you bring your bike?” Hunk listened to their conversation and laughed looking at Lance now. Keith didn’t exactly understand what he thought was so funny and turned to Pidge for help but they were just quietly smiling at the whole scene.
“Ummm, yes? It’s how I got here. I don’t have a car, soo…” Keith shrugged a little lost.
“Awesome! I mean great. I mean...,” Lance scratched his head. “Can I see it?”
“Uhh, sure. I parked right over there.” Keith pointed over his shoulder. Lance didn’t even wait for the others. He was already on his way to the parking lot, almost running. When the others caught up with him he was inspecting Keith’s bike and admiring the details of the machine by almost touching it with his nose.
Hunk and Pidge seemed kind of impressed too and Hunk slapped Keith’s shoulder. “Sweet ride, Keith!” He joined Lance in walking around the bike to get a better look. “Lance mentioned you work at a workshop. Did you build this yourself?”
Keith nodded and then realised that Hunk wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t see. “Yah, I did. It was the first project I did without Shiro’s help. Took me a while to find all the parts. I could get a better bike if I wanted but I’m kind of sentimental I guess.”
Lance nodded. “No I get it. It’s a bit like it’s your child, right? I mean… you made her.”
Keith smiled. “Yeah. I guess.”
Pidge gave a fake cough to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the bike. “If you’re finished drooling over that can we go get some food please?”
“That?” Keith repeated in a fake hurt tone.
“They’re secretly loving this more than Lance and me. You should see the stuff they build. We should visit you at your shop and just leave Pidge there for a few hours. They’d have the time of their life.” Hunk chuckled at the expression on Pidge’s face after his revelation.
“Speaking of food though,” Lance looked at Keith and tilted his head, “We thought about grabbing a bite at Planet Altea. You in?”
Keith considered for a moment. He could spend some more time with them and get to know them better. He probably should. Shiro would tell him to… but he also really wanted to go home. The light incident had seriously freaked him out even if he didn’t want to show it. He’d rather calm down at home, alone, where he could stop pretending and no one would see what a mess he really was after such a small thing.
“Sorry, I need to leave. Shiro wants to visit an old friend of his and he’s dragging me along.” Lie. Shiro never dragged him anywhere Keith didn’t want to go. Apart of from that Shiro wasn’t even home right now.
Lance chewed his lower lip. “Ohh. Okay. We’ll text then?” The disappointed look on his face made Keith feel bad instantly.
“Yes definitely. It was really great. Thank you all for taking me.” Let me leave let me go.
Pidge and Hunk said goodbye and they watched Keith take off quickly. Lance waved one last time before he was out of sight, but Keith didn’t turn around to see it.
Usually driving calmed him down but he felt himself get more anxious with every mile. He was glad he could finally take off the helmet when he arrived at his and Shiro’s place because he could breathe more freely instantly. He put the bike in the garage, unlocked the front door and took the elevator up to their floor. After hastily unlocking the front door and locking it after himself again, he immediately kicked off his boots and headed for his bedroom.
He’d learned a few breathing techniques during his never ending counseling sessions and was really glad about that right now. After some minutes of leaning against his door he got his breathing under control. His thoughts however where still spinning, so he put his favourite playlist on shuffle and flopped down on his bed.
After a couple of songs Keith took out his phone to ask Shiro when he would be home and noticed he had gotten a few messages.
(2:17pm): Hey, u ok?
(2:18pm): Getting kind of an anxious vibe over here?!
(2:20): Also thats an awful lot of emo music for someone who insists hes not emo ;)
Shit. Sometimes he forgot the soulmate connection was a thing.
(2:33pm): Sorry! Yes I’m good
There was an immediate response.
(2:33pm): U sure? Doesnt feel like it
(2:35pm): Idk
(2:36pm): Maybe not
(2:36pm): do you wanna talk? I can call u
Keith’s whole body tensed. Was he ready for that? Should he lie, maybe say he was tired and wanted to nap or something? Should he tell the truth? He frowned.
(2:37pm): I’m not… good at phone calls
(2:37pm): Np u can just listen and I’ll do the talkin
(2:39pm): that’d be ok?
Keith swallowed. Shiro probably wouldn’t be home for a while and he really needed to talk to someone. The question was if Lance was safe to talk to? Would it overstep the friendship line? Why could things never be easy…
(2:42pm): yes, ok
[Incoming call: Lance McClain]
More author’s notes:
This fic on AO3
Yeah after 500 years I finally updated. I could explain at length why it took my so long but it comes down to this: I was stressed, I was depressed, I’m sorry but now it’s finally here! Hooray!
As always a big THANK YOU to @alteanmoonchild for being my beta and for reading every new draft and honestly telling me when what I wrote isn’t good so I can improve and grow. I love us working together on this <3
Thank you to all of you for reading! If you have any questions or feedback send me an ask or dm me <3
Me an my friends finally cosplayed Voltron so if you wanna see me as Shiro and my awesome friends as Keith, Lance and Coran head over to my instagram.
Do you know what keeps me motivated when I so often doubt my writing and don’t know how to continue? Getting feedback! So please reblog, like, comment or even draw fanart. Whenever I read an “I love this” comment it makes me incredible happy! Also one of my goals is to someday have someone draw fanart for something wrote soo... if you wanna do that I’ll love you. Also please tag me if you do.
If you want me to tag you in the next part when I post it, just send me an ask saying so and I’ll add you to the taglist.
taglist: @alyy--caticus @princealektheorange @an-important-nobody @teddyorionpotter @spookyscaryshitstorm @ladythugs @positevelybakerstreet @meganmoo02 @atomicengineerdetective @jishwadun-is-jishwafun @anemoee
#klance#donna writes#voltron#klance fanfiction#klance soulmate au#klance soulmate au part 4#klance au#soulmate au#keith#lance#my posts#voltron legendary defender#vld#voltron fanfiction#soulmate au part 4#soulmate#soulmates#fanfic#fanfiction#keith kogane#lance mcclain#hunk#pidge
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whats your fav fanfic ma 👀
ic ant beliVE ur making mE CHOOSE
also whoa this list got away from me
here are my top 10 ~personal~ favorites with a description why they’re so amazing (mostly just me yelling)
bc im horrible person i ordered them by how much i love them plus the last three that aren’t larry
through struggles, to the stars by thedeathchamber - 80K
Star Trek AU okay need I say more?? (im gonna) I LOVE the character development in this fic okay it’s already pretty long but please I need at least 100K more in this universe, star trek was my first love and like wow my two favorite things combined? brilliant! excellent writing and i especially loved how Louis was portrayed
above your head by deadspy - 57K
so I think now we’ve established I fucking love space, I’m also a HUGE fan of NASA (I lowkey am looking at buying a house there in Cape Canaveral) some of the science is off but lol i understand why they wrote it like that and you’d never even know unless you spend most of your free time researching space travel (like I do) the slow burn hurts my heart but in like the best of ways
Cutie and the Boxer by anomalation - 37K trigger warnings for past child abuse, past sexual abuse, ptsd, anxiety attacks
wow okay SO I have a lot a lot to say about this one, there are 2 parts but it’ll never be enough ! amazing asexual representation, beautifully written characters, Louis in this fic is everything I hope to have in a partner one day tbh, I’m always looking for more asexual characters in fics (also everywhere) but I really don’t think I’ll ever top this one I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve probably re-read it at least 5 times since I found it
Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose by certainsadness - 103K
I dont know ??? how to explain ??? how much i love this fic !!! after reading this I became a fake art historian also I think I’ve seen a john singer sargent in person but I’ve gone to so many stupid art exhibits with my parents it all kind of blends together rich people probs ANYWAY this fic is as beautiful as the painting it’s named after, excellent characterization, limited angst (enough to make it interesting but not too much that my heart hurts), and lots of hoity-toity art references
Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups - 31K
petition for part 2 !!!! it’s A/B/O which I know some people don’t read but TRUST me you have /got/ to read this one, the alpha/omega thing isn’t even that big of a deal? maybe kind of, but it’s written in such a wonderful way that it doesn’t feel forced like it sometimes can, also: power bottom louis what more do you want? (also, anon, this is the fic i was talking about reading when you asked me for this rec)
Haven by xxPayne - 35K
so I talk about this fic a lot bc it’s actually relatively accurate as far as BDSM relationships/clubs go (yes, I’ve been to some, and yes, I’ve been trained by a Dom, so i know what I’m talking about lol) the sex is kinky but (obviously bc it’s 35K) it’s like porn ~~with feelings~~ i love it and tbh after this I’m probably going to re-read it again (and again)
The King of Spades by hazmesentir - 109K
this fic had ALL of my favorite things okay, rugged Manly Man™ louis, misguided oc kid that louis identifies with and mentors, damsel in distress harry, guns, violence, tattoos. i mean it’s Gay Mafia?? does it get any better than that?? no. no it does not.
the next three aren’t larry so like FYI
The Stars Above Us by 606, create_serenity(Sivany) - Drarry, 19K
surprise surprise another fic about space, and it’s a kidfic (I mean, Teddy’s in it so not ~really~ but) i would rec this to anyone and everyone and i may be biased bc i fucking love harry potter but even if you dont read drarry this one’s worth reading. you’ve got sad draco and thick-headed harry aka perfection
He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered - Drarry, 40K
so ive read a lot of drarry fics okay and coming across one where /draco/ is the one rescuing harry is pretty rare, but i LOVE it and this fic portrays them both so beautifully, idk i just really love this fic it’s very close to my heart and ive read it many many times
Love and the Purple Palace by takhallus - Tomlinshaw, 23K
this was one of my first tomlinshaw fics i read and like, nothing will ever compare. their relationship in this fic is perfect and unique and youve got a lot of miscommunication and stubbornness (a defining factor for any good tomlinshaw fic) plus bottom louis plus a relatable quality to it that i cant find anywhere else
so this was about a week late SORRY but thank you for asking this is way more than you probably wanted but seriously, go read all these fics sorry some of them are pretty long
lmk if there are any discrepancies or any of the links dont work please :)
as usual, if your fic is on here and you would prefer me not to rec it just message me (with proof you are the author) and i’ll gladly remove it from this list
if you have any favorite fics feel free to rec them to me im always looking for new ones to read!
also stay on the lookout for my famous/non-famous au rec coming soon :)
#anonymous#answered#larry ficrec#ficrec#my recs#shit whats my rec tag i always forget#my ficrec#larry stylinson#tomlinshaw#drarry#drarry ficrec#larry stylinson fic rec#fic rec
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Im lost.
...
.....
Please I didn't ask for this life. I don't want it. take it away from me.
....
all the broken dreams , all the disappointment.
Sana lang matapos na.
why ? why? why? why? why ? why do i have to suffer. My faith in life keeps getting shorter.
i just want to have a content and happy life. I understand if challenges comes to us. but Why do I think I have been challenged all my life. Its sad. No i dont have a single motivation to live anymore. If someone asks if they can kill me. I'll thank them. How can I continue this. All my life I have been trying not to kill myself. Why its so sad for em. why its so hard. I want to stop this. Why? why I can't. I wanna kill myself for so long. I don't feel anything anymore. my whole life is a dark sad story. Ever since I was a kid i knew my life will be miserable. thanks to those people who judged me. Up until now I have not built my confidence. I just want to live a normal life that's it. I want to be love and I wanna love. Yung iba halos nasa kanila na ang lahat. Im hurt. Will always be. I think , its my Fate ever since I was born. I've been through a lot. hahaha. Minsan feeling ko mababaliw na ako. Sana ganun na nga lang. Ayoko na eh. suko na ako. Yung mga pains na naranasan ko bumabalik balik sa isip ko. Sana di na lang ako nabuhay. Sana pinakain na lang ako sa aswang. How can I escape life?
I have been strong for such a long time. Keeping all this to myself. I didn't say any single word to anyone to complain about my situation. My mother always thought she has the biggest problem. And I found it so funny. Noo. Compare to what ive been going through its nothing. Sana wala na lang akong pamilya. Na naasa sakin. In that way nobody cares when I die. but no , what did i do so wrong to have this kind of pain. bakit ako pa? Bakit lahat sila masaya na. Bakit ako lang nastuck dito? sina aba , nineng, ate michelle.
Yung mga naging part ng buhay ko. Pero bakit ako , bakit ganito pa din. Di ako masamang tao. Oo makamundo ako pero kelan man di ako gumawa ng ikakapahamak ng isang tao physically. what should i do? how am i supposed to end this? up until now they always thought i was fine. because i allow them to think that way. but they never knew. I spent my younger years crying. Crying of my situation. crying because I am me.
i wanna delete life and never use alt + z. yes i am that error. A waste of space. I don't understand my existence. is it because i was made to suffer? why? why its too painful. I Want to disappear. Im willing to sell my soul now. Without harming people. Im just gonna let myself to suffer to whatever punishment i may incur. at least , there ,its fair , . I wanna kill myself. sana magka covid na lang ako. So they can bury me
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His confession
What a mess.
I dont know where it all started, but maybe I do. Im just too afraid to say it. Not maybe, I am.
I will try my best to answer all the issues that I put myself in.
I have spent my life being misunderstood all the time. Maybe because they wont understand or I just dont say what I really want to say. So I’ll answer with all my honesty. And please, UNDERSTAND.
Im in a very very hard state right now. I just got out from my depression but I think he’s coming back. I dont want it but he’s strong. They same Im stronger, theyre clearly wrong. I really dont want it. Really dont.
So here’s the thing, my beloved girlfriend just broke up with me last two weeks because Im an idiot. And that time I agreed to let her leave because...
(a) she’s too hurt to continue. I felt her pain. I dont really know how to describe what she went through but I tell you, she went thru hell. I wanted to give her space.
(b) I agreed to separate BECAUSE at that time it was very very messy. I just want to get away from all of it because I was so sick of all the arguments, the blaming games, the dramas, the “yawyaws”, and mostly I just want to relax because I got over my depression that time. I distanced myself because i dont want to be in a mess again. I just wanted to feel happy. Is self love wrong?
But I regretted my decision that time seeing what it resulted. I shouldnt have let her go. I shouldve suffered a bit more to make her stay.
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I was depressed because of some things,
(a.) Family matters, specially my hatred towards my sister. The hatred swallowed me whole, it caused me a lot.
This is where all started. My depression kept getting bigger.
Most of my closest friends left because they couldnt handle me or they were just too occupied to even give time to me.
(b.1)There was a night were I messaged most of my closest friends to check on me because I might give up and take my own life. Some responded and checked on me frequently but it didnt last. Some made fun of me. Some didnt even take time to check the message. I did it because I dont want to feel alone. I just really wanted friends at that time. Is self love wrong?
(b.2.) My bestfriend, she’s a girl. There’s nothing between us but I treat her like my sibling, we are very close. We were friends since 1st Grade. So, she was very mad at me because of some reasons I know nothing of. She just wont reach out on me. That time, I wanted to see her . To talk about everything. But sadly, she just wont.
I felt so alone. I got no one. (Even now). I cant talk to my family, dont have friends to talk. Maybe I have, but friends who understands? Nah. And my girlfriend just broke up with me. Where can I go? Thats a question.
(c) My girlfriend herself. That time, she left me because she wanted to focus on her studies. There’s nothing wrong about that. Nothing wrong at all.
Not just that, she was very confused at that time. Because of my actions while i was drowning in my depression, I didnt notice that it would affect her so much. It would inflict a lot of pain. She distanced herself from me, me being a grenade.
But put it like this; the person you most cared needs you so much on that point because he has no where to go, no people to catch him, not even himself. And you just leave him? It would break him so much.
That was my downest state.
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(change gear tayo? Tagalog-bisaya-english tayo? Sige kay sakit na gani ang heart, sakit pa sa ulo.)
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Yan na yung time na everyday at everynight sya umiiyak sa kwarto pero pinipigilan nya lang kasi ayaw nya marinig sya nang mama nya.
Morning na yan sya gatulog kasi grabe kalakas ng insomia nya. Tapos gigising na yan ng hapon. Pagkagising, kain agad, minsan lang lalabas kasi ayaw makisalamuha sa mga tao. Tapos lalaro lang yan sya kasi yan ang escape nya. Tapos tulog ulit. Same routine lang.
May time na di nya na kinaya, pumunta sya sa lamesa, umupo, tumunganga lang hanggang sa napansin sya na mama nya. Tinanong sya “May problema ka Gy?” Pagkarinig nya yun tumulo agad luha nya kasi di na nya kinaya. Sinipa na naman nya ang mga gamit sa luob ng bahay nila sa sobrang galit. Sumigaw. Umiyak. Nagwild. Andaming nangyari nun. Sa huli, kumuha sya ng kutsilyo. Pero tinakbuhan sya ng mama nya para pigilan.
“Di nya man kelangan umalis!!!” Yang ang mga salitang parating lumalabas sa kanya nung nangyari yun. “Balik ka na pleeeease. Di mo man kelangan umalis ba. Balik ka naaaaaaa.” Crying to it so loudly to her kahit alam nya na di sya naririnig.
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Karon murag gabalik man iyang pagkadepressed kay grabe bug-at nasad kaayo. Suicidal baya na sya. Suicidal means kanang gusto nimo pasakitan imong sarili or gusto ka mawala nalang. Pasakitan nimo imong sarili, thinking about kanang serious kaayo na injury pero di ka gusto mamatay. Ana. Magkuha na syag kutsilyo tapos tutukan lang nya. Tan-awon nya ang pundasyon na kahoy sa ilang kisame na pwede bitayan sa pisi. Mugawas sa balay inig gabii, tapos kung naay muagi na sakyanan kay makaisip sya na muambak lang kalit. Wont you call that suicidal?
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Mali man pud gud iyang gipangbuhat sa iyang uyab gud. Pero mablame ba pud ba nimo sya kung sya mismo biktima pud?
Ani man gud na oh. Walay nakabalo ani na story kundi sya lang maong mamisunderstood sya sa mga lihok nya.
Nisalig sya sa iyang bespren. “Promise I wont do it again.” Ana iyang bespren sa iyaha. Dili na daw niya usabon na padunggan dunggan iyang uyab, ug magbuhat ug mga butang na magcause nasad ug away sa ilahang duha. Pero giulit gihapon. Mapasayluon man gud sya maong gidawat gihapon nya iyang bespren. Gikasuk-an gud nya iyang bespren pero nagpasaylo dayun sya.
Naa juy mga tao na kusog kaayo manggamit ug patience sa isa ka tao. Ana sila taas dawg patience si Idrian, well, tama sila. Taas jud. Pero naay tuktok.
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Dali ra jud kaayo sya musalig sa isa ka tao.
Thats the most beautiful yet deadly trait about sa iyaha.
Dali ra kaayo sya musalig. Labon na sa mga ginaingon sa iyaha. Ana iyang bespren sa iyaha na “I will do anything for you.” Didto sya nisalig, na buhaton jud to sa iyang bespren. So naghangyo sya na “Please, ayawg buhat ug mga butang na mulala ni. LET ME HANDLE THIS. Di na ko gusto mulala pa ni.” Syempre nisalig jud sya na buhaton to nya kay mao may ingon sa iyang bespren. He thought he had it all together. Na mafix ni nya if mahulog lang sa iyang plano tanan. He was wrong.
Sa ulahi kay nangaguba gihapon tanan kay istorya ra diay ang tanan. Mao na iyang ginapasabot na biktima pud sya.
Nisalig sya sa isa ka tao na abi nyag buhaton nya ang tanan para nya. Pero didto sya nagkamali.
Gimanipulate sya na musalig sa tao gamit ang mga words na kusog kaayo ug impact sa iyaha. Gihimo syang tanga thinking na buhaton sa iyang bespren ang mga promise nya sa iyaha.
Mao nay rason ngano gasalig gihapon sya sa iyang bespren tungod ato na words. Pero mao pud nay rason nganong nangaguba tanan. Sa pagsalig. Wala may mali sa pagsalig ba. Ang problema ra jud kanang gub-on ang pagsalig.
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Karon kay gibulagan na man jud jud sya. Dako kaayo iyang pagmahay tungod sa iyang nabuhat. Pero ang pangutana, mablame ba nmo sya nga nisalig ra pud sya sa ubang tao?
Gusto ra sya maokay ang tanan. Kanang magbalik sila na wala nay problema ug mga issue.
Pero he had to hit rock bottom to realize kung unsa juy nawala sa iyaha. Dako kaayo. Dakong pagmahay sa butang na dako pud kaayog imporansya sa iyaha.
Daghan jud syag gusto iingon ba pero iyang mind mismo gadula sa iyaha ug di makaya mahandle ang maisip niya maong maglibog2 pud sya sa iyang mga ginasulti. Mao sigurong di sya masabtan kay di pud nya matarong istorya kung unsa juy gusto niya isulti. Hays
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Mao ni ang point.
Giingnan sya sa iyang uyab na dili na magsigeg dikit sa iyang bespren kay masakitan sya.
Pero kabalo ka nganong gibuhat gihapon nya? Kay dili sya gusto maleft out. Wala jud baya na syay mga tinuod na mga amigo. Kanang amigo na loyal, tinuod, ug permi naa dira. All he has is himself at that time.
Gibuhat nya to kay alone kaayo sya sa iyang life. Dili lang sya gusto mafeel na alone sya. Is self love wrong?
After sya gibulagan, open kaayo sya sa iyang lihok na mag uban2 sila sa iyang bespren, Syempre, normal kay classmate sila sa NCII. Pero gibuhat ra pud to nya as a way of venting out and being loved. Remember, wala syay tinuod na mga amigo, gusto ra nya mahappy kauban mga tao na nasa palibot nya.
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Nag graduate na iyang uyab, niadto sya pero wala sya kaabot. Nidiretso nalang sya sa dorm sa iyang uyab kay kabalo sya na naa sya didto.
So syempre gicongrats niya, comfort, ug uban pa. Pero syempre again suko kaayo iyang uyab sa iyaha, di nya istoryahon, dili magpagunit. Makasabot sya eh kay kabalo sya sa gipangbuhat niya.
Hantod sa naghilakanay silag istorya, nag explain sa ilang both sides.
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After that talk, daghan kaayo syag narealize.
(a) Narealize nya kung unsay nawala sa iyaha; ang babae na gilove syag tinuod ug taman.
(b) na ang babae na nakigbulag nya kay mao tong babae na bisag buak na ang pagsalig kay nilove gihapon syag taman nya.
(c) Na ang bespren nya kay hantod istorya ra, wala sya nilive up sa iyang words na gihatag sa iyaha. Na gimanipulate lang sya into trusting her. Na sya ra pud diay ang gaguba sa iyang relasyon.
(d) narealize nya na grabe nya katanga ug kagago. Naa na sa iyang atubangan ang babae na mulove sa iyag taman pero wala nya giatimanan mismo.
Honest sya, nakita niya ang worth sa iyang uyab, pero not fully. Kinahanglan pa na mawala sa iyaha iyang uyab para makita to niya as a whole. Karon dako kaayo syag pagmahay kay ngano gilet to nya mahitabo. Karon gusto nya mubalik iyang uyab sa iyaha, admitting that he was wrong ug sala nya tanan.
And grabe nya kasuko sa iyang bespren karon after realizing what she did. Naay time sa klase nila na wala jud niya sya gipansin bisan daghan syag chance na pansinon sya. Tungod to sa kasuko nya. He felt so betrayed and played by the person na gisaligan nyag taman.
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After all said and done, isa ra jud iyang goal, ang mubalik iyang uyab sa iyaha.
Karon, mas ready na sya sa mga challenges and risks na agian para makuha lang balik iyang uyab. Kay mas kalabo na sya unsa iyang daugon kung mupadayon sya.
Same gihapon iyang goal as ever. “Same mind, same heart, same vision, same spirit.”
Buhaton nya unsay buhaton para lang mubalik si Shannen Haggai sa iyang life. If you just let him.”
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Daghan kaayog gajudge sa iyaha karon, wala sya kabalo kung kinsa to sila pero kabalo sya na daghan tungod sa nahitabo. Pero wala nila naisip kung ngano nahitabo ang mga nahitabo.
Pero ready sya atubangon to para lang mapasaiyaha nasad iyang uyab.
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He’ll ask you again, mablame ba nimo sya sa iyang mga manipulated actions?
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- Idrian
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S.O.M.S., how 'bout the endgame?
Maybe some of you did watch the recently released trailer of the "AVENGERS" and maybe some of you watch all the movies after the "INFINITY WARS" saga (which is ant man and wasp, which moindblowing btw) and because of that ill just make my own theory on what will happen in the end game.
I will go out on the limb and say that these theory of mine wont come out right (and if i like rephrase those content making vids about their what if stuff in end game i will apologize in advance) but hey, who knows?😏
1. The Tony Stark situation (because he is not in suit)
On the trailer we saw him and the spaceship hanging in space (which some of the netizen tag the real nasa to help tony. LOL) but in the infinity wars we know that tony isn't alone. After "The Decimation", there are only 2 people who where seen in the Planet titan. Iron man and Nebula which maybe some of you didn't know the she is good on travelling in space. This is where it is going to get tricky, we know that the "rescue" in the iron man line is the suit for pepper pots but i think that she isnt going for tony. Im going to guess that captain marvel will save tony because she has the power to travel through light and space (if im not wrong) and maybe a little help of pepper on his location that maybe is her role.
2. The Quantum Realm or Scott Lang situation.
For all we know that ant man was in the quantum realm stuck in there for a while because of "The Decimation" his 3 "assistant is gone but the portal is still engage in the end of ant man and wasp. Ans in the trailer of end game scott lang appear on the video. And we saw that Cap and Natasha are shookt because of that. Kidding. Yeah, but they are.
Anyways. The line that cap said in the trailer was (im not sure but it was something like this) is this an old video? Then natasha respond with that is the front gate. They have a theory that timeline of end game has a bigger part in this. Some of the netizen noticed and noticed it so much that they zoom in and played the trailer slowly just for easter egg. On that video it has the words archived and 1983 (im not sure on the year) and because doctor strange is gone they dont have much of time and choice. Im gonna guess that the van has a role in that. We just dont know if the van is the quantum van. If they manage to locate the van, no one is genius enough to use that and thats where pepper pots suit will play. The only problem on that is the shrinking thing but we know ant man enter the realm in normal form. Since bruce doesn't go green for a while maybe pepper and bruce will try to fire the quantum realm to get lang, we also dont know if scott did enter the place where he cannot come out of the realm. The last thing that we know is his place is communicable by head piece. Its either we see the same last scenario of ant man and wasp and some noticed it and scott maybe pull a janet move or someone just you know, talk to the mic and wait for.scott to respond.
Thats all folks. Maybe after captain marvel or if they release another trailer ill make these kind of stuff again. Isn't it exciting? 😁
#avengers #endgame #lastofavengerssaga
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