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starkeaton · 4 years

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the adventure zone: graduation character list

Well, i accidentally deleted the original graduation character list post, so here i am making another one. Oops. And as always, if anyone has important details i should add then feel free to suggest them!

Here are all the characters introduced in episodes 1-25. Named characters only!

Also i can’t hide spoilers! So, um..... I can’t put spoilers on this one. If you need the version with spoilers try this version of the post that i made on the adventure zone subreddit but youre not missing out on much.

# -EPISODE 1- (19 characters)

Hieronymous Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Hero/Villain school. at least 400 years old. wears shining blue armor with gold accents. also an elf. according to Tomas, he led the charge at the "battle of blood valley", brought the Kingdoms of Rickart and Dawnbreak to a peace treaty, and founded the school. a little boastful, a little prideful, [SPOILERS OMITTED], and overall a pretty good dude.

Higglemas Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Sidekick/Henchperson annex, cranky old elf. has a dog named hero who shows no signs of anything strange at all, ever.

Gary (he/him): friendly room gargoyle. pseudo-hivemind.

Groundsy (he/him): the groundskeeper. a pretty nice fellow. don't go in his shed.

Hernandez (he/him): beautiful centaur professor of animal handling.

Jimson (he/him): human battlegrounds trainer for sidekicks/henchpeople, world famous featherweight champion, wields a staff. married to crushman.

Crushman (he/him): silver dragonborn with a sickle, and self-described beefy boy! heavyweight blood champion married to jimson. never lost a match for 8 years. full name Frostus Crushman.

Rolandus Fontaine (he/him): former prince, son of deposed king, kind of an asshole, maybe. wears a cape (important detail)

Zana (she/her): "terrifying" tiefling villain sorcerer, friend of rolandus. barkept the test tavern in ep2

Rhodes (she/her): hero ranger, friend of rolandus.

Buckminster Eden (he/him): hero guy. son of "The Iron Lord". their dad is stronger than rolandus's dad. his wiki page says rogue so i think hes a rogue? i never caught that and ive listened more times than i wish i did

Leon (he/him): softspoken buff, bald "fighter" (although i dont remember any clarification on how exactly he fights), sidekick of buckminster, around 28. anyone else keep forgetting he's bald? i keep forgetting it. >!gets sorta-drafted into becoming a falcon for higglemas and so far hasn't done much else.!<

Rainer Michelle (she/her): cheerful villainous necromancer with a floating chair. also, her name is pronounced "rainier" despite not being confirmed as such? travis ships her with fitzroy.

Tomas (he/him): human man with "kind eyes" and a good (psychic???) memory. guidance counselor.

Stewart LeBoeuf (he/him): brawny human man. serves food. there is no joke here, i promise

Mulligan (he/him): teaches potions. mentioned but doesn't appear yet. and we're like 25 episodes in. maybe we'll see him someday

Germaine, Victoria, Rattles (he/him,she/her,???/???): Skeleton crew. They live in the training room i guess, and as a result can never die, because "no one dies in the training room!" (note: someone now HAS to die in the training room). also their races are never explicitly stated but i guess they're probably human? in episode 3 travis brings up something about how many bones are in "the human body" and at this point i think i'm looking too deep into this so i'll just forget about it and you probably should too.

# -EPISODE 2- (9 characters)

Riveau (he/him): halfling, blame-taking teacher.

Mimi (they/them): gnome sidekick who builds cool robot prosthetics

Bartholemus (he/him): owl aarakocra accountant teacher, known for being the best accountant in the land and having a face some might describe as "smoochable". very pro capitalist :’( hope he gets better

Ramos (she/her): goliath teacher of shieldwork. *

Dip (she/her): sidekick, half-orc twin of pip

Pip (she/her): hero, half-orc twin of dip

Festo (they/them): fairy with "beautiful gossamer wings", independent study teacher of magic, loves to party

Snippers (he/him?): Let me tell you my story about Snippers the magic crab. When Travis gave the list of animals that Griffin could choose as Fitzroy's familiar's current form, he listed crab near the start, and this gave me excitement. Now i knew that crab was pretty unlikely but god i hoped that he would choose it. When the list went on- Bat, Cat, Crab, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Owl, Poisonous Snake, Fish, Rat, Raven, Seahorse, Spider or Weasel- I nearly lost hope. I was hoping so hard that Griffin would choose the crab, but i was ready to accept a non-crab familiar. It was just buried in that list. It wasn't the most useful animal and it was an obscure pick. And as Travis informed him that it didn't have to keep the form for the whole campaign, Griffin said those five words i wanted to hear so, so badly. "Well then it's a crab." Folks, I do not often react physically when something happens in media. But in that moment, i remember very clearly, i fist-pumped and yelled, "YES!!!!!!"

so anyway, Fitzroy has a crab.

Jackle (he/him): kenku teacher of sneakery. creepy dude. apparently knows something about argo? also his name is not spelled "jackal" for some reason. Also in later episodes theyve started calling him "The Jackle" for some reason??? *

# -EPISODE 3- (1 character)

Dakota (they/them): tavern instructor, clad in black/red leather. no race stated? probably human. *

# -EPISODE 4- (6 characters)

Gerry & Tom (she/her, he/him): shopkeepers at barns and nobles who seem to have very bad names. also constantly competing for customers? these guys got dropped faster than the heathcliff quests, which is honestly just sad.

Barb (she/her): the bartender. runs Springs Eternal in Last Hope. has a sweet seeing-eye hawk familiar.

Jaryd Reginald (he/him): owner of Reginald Ore. Wants the workers to be held responsible for the damage caused by the xorn. (fun fact: originally i wrote down "Jerrod" because i wanted it to sound like a fantasy name, then realized it was probably "Jared" because theyre named after listeners, but i was pleased to find it confirmed that it's actually "Jaryd")

Candice (she/her): A Miner. thought those werent allowed in bars but, i guess not. Wants the mine owner to be held responsible for the xorn's damage.

Jade Johnson Esq. (she/her): lawyer.

# -EPISODE 5- (1 character)

Xorn: a big hungry gem eating guy from the plane of earth Low-Down Deep with 3 arms and 3 legs. why did travis just say "multi-armed" instead of specifying it was 3? who knows! Anyway it leaves

# -EPISODE 6- (3 characters)

Osric (he/him): the man, the myth, the bursar. finally shows up after being mentioned in episodes 2 and 4. he's an elf.

breeze through the willows (she/her): Pegasus attacked by demons, lost her parents. introduced in ep1 but gets a name here so fuck it. also in ep>!16!< we find out shes a "white arabian pegasus" and i dont think thats a spoiler bc we shouldve really known it from the beginning

Sabor (he/him): Librarian/research teacher. also a TORTLE. Really good at recalling stuff, i guess. kinda reminds me of Tomas's memory thing but i'm sure that's just a coincidence... *

# -EPISODE 7- (1 character)

Mosh (he/him): The goliath blacksmith who welcomes argo into the unbroken chain. Also, and this is specific to the tumblr version of this post, all the characters with an * at the end of their descriptions are also members of the unbroken chain. if someone knows how to do spoilers on tumblr please tell me

# -EPISODE 8-

# -EPISODE 9- (2 characters)

Eeiïäá#æ&éñn (pronounced like "Ian") (he/him?): an imp but without a shitty voice. also happens to not be violent. what a coincidence?

Terence (he/him): a chain devil with a real demonic name. minor boss of the imps. very convincing and very threatening. has the frightening ability to make you zone out during his fight

# -EPISODE 10- (2 characters)

Althea Song (she/her): elf with autumn-orange hair. representative from heroic oversight guild. i'd like to personally thank travis for spelling her name out.

Crabtree (she/her): Artificing teacher. Long gray hair with a long grey beard. no mentioned race, one might guess dwarf but that would be an assumption i suppose. also unbroken chain member, presumably the dwarf argo didn't recognize in episode 7.

# -EPISODE 11- (3 characters)

Marie (she/her): Grey-haired elf woman. She's the school's physician, i guess. Member of the unbroken chain.

Dendra Maplecourt (she/her): Fitzroy's mom. Has hot mint gum, i guess. She was mentioned earlier but i wasn't convinced she was a real person until this episode

Cool Gary (he/him): AYY ITS ME GARYR

# -EPISODE 12-

no new characters again!

# -EPISODE 13- (7 characters hhhyyyuu)

Kale (???/???): Head of the Placement Department, in charge of real world assignments. First mentioned in Ep4 but i missed that the last few times bc it is so brief. Gives exposition about missions i guess????? is that the only reason this chara cter exists

satyr thief (unnamed) (he/him): tries to rob thundermen, dies instantly

Ogre (he/him): teamed up with the satyr. his name is ogre.

Moon (he/him): A Sidekick. small pale sullen guy. no mentioned race. Why is there another FUCKING sidekick WE HAD ENOUGH hhhyuuuuuu

Deanna (she/her): A bigoted centaur with an obnoxious voice. Malwin the Strong's second in command.

Malwin the Strong (she/her): Leader of the centaurs of the scarlet woods. Wants to appease the spirit of the scarlet woods so that thecentaurs of the scarlet woods will be protected in the scarlet woods. Had a relationship with Arturas in the past but their clashes are currently known to get pretty heated.

Arturas (he/him): Leader of the Centaurs of the Valley, i guess. Had a relationship with Malwin. Centaur. Did i mention centaur? i cant think of anything else about this character

# -EPISODE 14- (2 characters)

Calhain (he/him): Human wizard, Malwin's magical advisor. Kind of an amateur wizard in a job high above his skill level. Graduated Wigginstaff's as a hero.

Spirit of the Scarlet Woods: A spirit who requires sacrifice in order to keep Malwin's herd safe and prosperous. Not keen on dubiously canonical combos, i guess. i wouldnt be either. also apparently the sacrifice depends on personal value, not how much value it has to the spirit.

# -EPISODE 15- (2 characters)

Sylvia Nite (she/her): Fitzroy's magic theory teacher at knight night school, who he turned into a catfish by accident. oops!

Chaos (they/them, maybe more): Presumably a deity, gave Fitz his powers and wants him to give in to his chaotic desires. (physical desc: 9 foot tall, iridescent 'mother of pearl' skin, pure white eyes, fine burgundy cloak with gold/onyx lining. their physical form beyond that seems to change every time they show up.)

# -EPISODE 16-

none -w-

# -EPISODE 17-

some demins happened. the big dudes are called "Pit Fiends" and the armored demon ladies are called "Erinyes", by the way. that was incredibly hard for me to figure out the first time, especially without headphones, i thought travis was saying "pig feet" and i just could not discern what the other things were

# -EPISODE 18- (6 characters)

snow on the mountain: shire horse pegasus

storm at sea: peruvian paso pegasus, vehement defender of The Guardian. doesn't have a goofy voice.. but he could have....

thaw of the spring: a winged horse

night of no clouds: a winged hhorse

The Guardian: "An ancient and powerful being that guards the unknown forest." Has protected the flock from demons for many many years. apparently is the voice that was talking to our firbolg in episode 1?

Grey, the Demon Prince (he/him): wants to cause a war, originally wanted to kill hiero and higgs, forces the heroes to build an army to fight his. As "Fauxronimous", he has skin the *color and pattern of* (but not necessarily made of) slate splashed with liquid, pointed ears, sharp teeth, shining eyes, horns of unspecified shape. 12 fucking feet tall. wonder if the slate-looking skin is related to garys. plot twist detected? Also i recently looked at the episode descriptions and found out his name is spelled "Gray", but really does it truly matter?

# -EPISODE 19- (2 characters)

Shabree Keene (she/her): Argo's mom, killed on the Mariah, possibly by the Commodore. Long auburn hair, green eyes. Mentioned earlier but described here, so fuck it.

**Thomas** (he/him): Argo's first mate on the Mariah, as the Kraken, in his chaos-dream. may or may not actually exist.

# -EPISODE 20- (1 character)

The Commodore (he/him): Reknowned hero of the seas, military regalia, great naval hero, presumably responsible for the death of Shabree Keene. No mentioned race. Seriously, they never mention this guy's race. The only thing described about him is how he's dressed and his evil smile. Does that mean he's human? Elf? Dwarf??? Who knows! maybe it just doesnt matter.

# -EPISODE 21-

none

# -EPISODE 22-

not any of them. not any.

# -EPISODE 23- (1 character)

Ozymondelius (sp???) (it/its): A warforged teacher who just so happens to like war or something? i guess its in the name. only mentioned in this episode, doesnt show up yet.

# -EPISODE 24-

they have a fight in the training room but nobody dies :\\ maybe next time. also no new characters. pog

# -EPISODE 25- (4 characters)

Gherkin (he/him): Tall lankier skeleton, has a scimitar and a merkin, which is a pubic wig... and he wears a jerkin? which i guess is a kind of coat? also i think hes mute

Tibia (she/her?) : Shorter skeleton with gold teeth, and long canines. i think both of the skeletons are mute actually.

The Lich King aka Gordy (he/him): Rainer's dad. Commands armies of the undead. lives in The Crypt. described as a hooded, skull-faced man with intricate black lines on his face, but changes to a shaved-head man with dark skin and vetiligo. Abandoned as a babby, raised by traveling parents, had necromancy powers, took Rainier in. Not actually very scary at all i don't know why he did the creepy laugh. Kind of a warm fatherly figure actually. hm. also people are speculating Gordy might be short for Gordita and his parents are maybe supposed to be lup and barry but THAT S JUST A THEORY.

our firbolg's father (he/him): A firbolg who lived by the code and was there when our firbolg was banished. Came to respect our firbolg's interest in a new way of life, in his final moments.

TOTAL: 72 NPCS! (well, including 2 extra PCs, i guess.)

Average: 2.88 NPCs per episode.

i was gonna not include the bone-PCs and have it be 69 but our firbolg's dad was just too important to not respect with a spot on the list.

anyway as always make sure to smack me with a blunt object if i forgot any characters!!!!!

#the adventure zone #taz #taz: graduation #taz g #sir fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #taz firbolg #i dunno what else to tag this with #text post #keatposting

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not-a-space-alien · 4 years

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[Best attempt at] A summary of The Magnus Archives. Contains major spoilers up through the most recent episode (168: Roots).

A kind soul wrote this out for me and put it in my submissions box to help me understand the Magnus Archives. THANK YOU SO MUCH and SORRY it took me so long to publish this Dx

Major spoilers ahead for anyone else who wants to read!! But this helped me a lot and I feel like I could keep listening now! Thanks again!!!

Basic worldbuilding details: There are 14 extra-dimensional Entities that feed on fear (Eye, Web, Corruption, Stranger, Spiral, Hunt, Slaughter, End, Vast, Buried, Desolation, Lonely, Dark, Flesh). Various people serve them, and are trying to bring about apocalypses by bringing them into our dimension.

A Victorian guy named Jonah Magnus thought serving the Eye and bringing about its apocalypse would make him immortal. Through trial and error he learned that an Entity cannot be brought through alone, and he needs to bring through all 14 at once. To accomplish this, he needs to take someone (The Archivist) and have them experience EVERY entity - "experience" in this case means "be afraid it's about to kill them."

Until he manages that, he's been possessing various people over the years by means of sticking his own eyeballs in their heads. When the show starts he's possessing Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute.

SEASON ONE: Jonathan Sims becomes the Head Archivist after Gertrude Robinson dies. He's set out to make audio copies of all the statements in the Archives, and he uses a tape recorder for the ones we hear because they won't record digitally. He has three assistants, Tim, Sasha, and Martin. He trusts Tim and Sasha but thinks Martin is incompetent.

Martin gets attacked by Jane Prentiss, who is infested by parasitic worms. Jon lets him live in the Archives because it's safer than going home. The worms start showing up around the Institute, but don't attack anyone (yet).

Sasha meets a man(?) named Michael and learns that the worms can be killed with CO2 gas. They start stocking up on fire extinguishers.

Two deliverymen named Breekon and Hope deliver a spooky table and a cigarette lighter with a spiderweb design on it to the Archives.

Jon smashes a hole in the wall of his office trying to kill a spider, and finds a network of tunnels under the Institute. The tunnels are filled with worms, which attack. Over the course of the attack, Jon and Martin bond a bit, Jon and Tim get partially eaten by worms (mark 1: Corruption), Martin finds Gertrude Robinson's corpse in the tunnels (she was murdered), Sasha gets killed and replaced by a monster that was bound to the spooky table (Not!Sasha), and Elias triggers the Institute's CO2 fire represent system, killing Prentiss. Jon swears to find out who murdered Gertrude if it kills him.

SEASON TWO: Paranoia time. The whole season is basically one long "who killed Gertrude" murder mystery, in which Jon suspects literally all of his coworkers. He works with Basira and Daisy, the two police officers assigned to solve the case, and starts to realize that Gertrude was deeply embedded in the supernatural world (and had access to explosives).

Major events include: Jon investigates the tunnels and doesn't find much. Martin frets a LOT, Jon thinks it's suspicious, but it's pretty clear that he just cares about Jon. It's also revealed that he lied on his CV, and isn't actually qualified for this job, hence his incompetence. Tim becomes very bitter about Jon suspecting him of murder and basically stalking him. Michael shows up again, traps a woman named Helen in a maze of unending corridors, and stabs Jon (mark 2: Spiral). Basira quits the police near the end of the season.

In the season finale, Jon realizes Sasha has been replaced and smashes the spooky table with an axe. This does not kill the monster, instead setting it free to try and kill HIM (mark 3: Stranger). Michael appears and offers him a door into his corridor maze to escape the Not!Sasha, and drops him in the tunnels to fend for himself. Martin and Tim try to find out what Jon's doing, and end up trapped in Michael's corridors themselves.

Jon is saved from the Not!Sasha by a man named Jurgen Leitner, who has a book that can move the walls of the tunnels around (he basically traps it in a wall Cask of Amontillado style). Leitner collected tons of these supernatural books, which are now called Leitners, and has been living in the tunnels for decades. Jon is convinced he's evil, but he reveals that he was working with Gertrude before she died and that Elias killed her. He begins to explain about the Entities, and the fact that Jon works for one (mark 4: Eye), but Jon leaves the room because he needs a cigarette. Elias appears and murders Leitner. Jon returns, finds the body, and flees.

Tim and Martin find their way out of the corridors, find the body, and call the police.

SEASON THREE: Jon is on the run from the police because they think he killed Leitner. He gives a statement about why he always hated Leitner. When he was a child, he found one of Leitner's books, which nearly got him eaten by a giant spider (mark 5: Web). His childhood bully got eaten in his place. Jon is living with his ex-girlfriend, Georgie, while he's in hiding.

Back at the Archives, Daisy (police detective) is convinced Jon is guilty of killing Leitner and Sasha. She's not looking for evidence, she just wants to catch him. Tim is also pretty sure he did it. Martin thinks he's innocent. Elias shows his first hint of supernatural powers by giving a statement about Daisy's first murder, which he just knows without her telling him.

Melanie takes a job at the Archives. She previously appeared to give a few statements. She's the former star of a ghost hunting YouTube show, and now has lost everything due to the circumstances of a few genuine encounters. She recently came back from a trip to India, where (as is revealed later) she was shot by a ghost soldier. She is friends with Georgie.

Basira visits the Archives to try to find Daisy, and runs off again looking for her when she realizes Daisy wants to kill Jon. Martin starts recording statements to "pick up the slack" while Jon's away.

Elias sends Jon statements while he's staying with Georgie, and in a bid to learn more about the supernatural he seeks out various servants of the Entities. Jude Perry nearly burns his hand off (mark 6: Desolation), Mike Crew nearly suffocates him by simulating the feeling of falling off a building (mark 7: Vast), and then Daisy catches him. Daisy kills Crew, and threatens to kill Jon (mark 8: Hunt), but Basira shows up and stops her. They drag Jon back to the Archives.

Everyone confronts Elias. We get confirmation that Jon can "compel" people (force them to answer his questions) but it doesn't work on Elias. Elias confesses to killing both Gertrude and Leitner. Everyone finds out Sasha was replaced during the Prentiss attack. Elias blackmails Basira into joining the Archives under threat of getting Daisy arrested; then turns around and blackmails Daisy into doing his dirty work in exchange for Basira's safety. He reveals that if he dies, or if the Archives are destroyed, anyone who works for the Institute dies too. Elias tells Jon he needs to stop the "Unknowing," which is a ritual the Stranger's servants are trying to complete to bring about the apocalypse.

Jon goes back to Georgie's; we find out she had an encounter with the supernatural when she was in university and now she literally cannot feel fear. Jon is confronted by Orsinov, a living mannequin that works for the Stranger. Orsinov tells him to find a taxidermied gorilla skin she needs for the Unknowing otherwise she'll kill him. He decides to go back to the Archives to get help, but on the way is kidnapped by Orsinov's goons. Orsinov says she's decided to use HIS skin in place of the gorilla one.

He's trapped for a month, and is eventually rescued by Michael, who reveals that he was one of Gertrudes's assistants before she sacrificed him to stop the Spiral's ritual. He wants to kill Jon, but as they are going into his corridors he is replaced by Helen (the woman he trapped in season two) who decides to drop Jon at the Archives instead.

Jon decides to follow in Gertrudes's footsteps to try and find the gorilla skin (to destroy it). He visits an Archive in China, and several locations in America. He is kidnapped by Julia and Trevor (Hunters) and gets on their good side. They let him talk to Gerry Keay (goth ghost that the fandom goes wild over). Gerry gives Jon the rundown on all of the fears, and explains a bit more about Gertrude. Jon agrees to release him from this world by burning a page of the book he's trapped in (this angers Julia and Trevor, which is important later). Jon goes back to England.

They find the gorilla skin in Gertrudes's old storage unit (and explosives), but it has been destroyed. Orsinov exhumes the bodies of Gertrude and Leitner to use their skin instead. There's a stretch of waiting where not much happens.

Jon, Tim, Basira, and Daisy go to a wax museum with Gertrudes's explosives to blow it up in the middle of the Unknowing. Martin and Melanie stay in the Archives to steal the tape with Elias's confession on it and get him arrested for murder.

At the Unknowing, Basira makes it out alive. Daisy kills Hope (one of the deliverymen from season one) but Breekon traps her in The Coffin (this has shown up in several statements before; it's an artifact of the Buried and traps people underground forever). Tim sets off the explosives and dies, while Jon ALMOST does in the same explosion. He ends up in a coma instead.

At the Institute, Martin distracts Elias while Melanie steals the tape. Elias taunts him about his feelings for Jon, then forces knowledge on him about how much his mother hates him (his mother's in a nursing home: caring for her is why he couldn't go to university and had to lie on his CV). Melanie succeeds in stealing the tapes and Martin barely restrains her from killing Elias.

Elias reveals that Jon is trapped in a nightmare realm where he constantly relives the statements of the people who have told them to him directly (not the ones that are written down). He is arrested, and Peter Lukas (servant of the Lonely) becomes the Interim Head of the Institute.

SEASON BREAK: Six months pass. Three major events occur: Martin's mother dies, Jared Hopworth (servant of the Flesh) attacks the Institute and is trapped in Helen's (Micheal's replacement) corridors, and Peter tells Martin that he'll protect the Institute from further threats if Martin works for him and isolates himself from everyone else. Martin, more than a little suicidal due to his mother's death and the man he loves being in a coma, agrees.

SEASON FOUR: Martin's plotline is revealed in drips and drabs throughout the season, and is easier to tell all at once. Basically, Peter convinces him that there's a 15th Entity, Extinction, that is about to emerge into the world and kill everything. This is based on research done by Adelard Dekker, one of Gertrudes's allies. Peter says that Martin is the only one who can stop it, because he has been marked by the Beholding and he is getting closer and closer to the Lonely as he isolates himself. This is enough of a threat that Martin sticks with his plan despite several opportunities to leave.

Jon's plot starts with Oliver Banks giving a statement in his hospital room and telling him he's too human to live, too much of a monster to die (mark 9: End). If Jon decides to stay human he will die; if he gives into the Beholding he will live. Oliver leaves; Jon wakes up. Georgie is disappointed that he gave into the Beholding, and walks away. Basira is cold and practical, following in Gertrudes's 'ends justify the means' logic. She is watching Jon closely, and prepared to kill him if he becomes dangerous. Melanie is boiling with anger and tries to attack Jon whenever they're in a room together.

Jon reads a Slaughter statement and knows (by supernatural means) that Melanie is becoming a servant of the Slaughter because the bullet that the ghost shot her with is still in her leg. He and Basira perform amateur surgery to get it out. Melanie stabs him in the shoulder (mark 10: Slaughter). She is, understandably, furious, but she becomes calmer as she heals and she starts going to therapy.

Breekon (the surviving deliveryman) drops off the coffin. Jon displays a new power by extracting a statement from him. He learns that Daisy is still alive, but trapped in the coffin. Basira leaves the Archives based on information from a "source" (Elias, though Jon does not know this yet). Jon learns that he can go into the coffin and get out again if he has an anchor to the real world. He tries to cut off his own finger, fails, and under Melanie's advisement finds Jared Hopworth (Flesh servant who attacked when he was in a coma) in Helen's corridors. Jared removes two of Jon's ribs (one to keep and one for Jon) and gives a statement (mark 11: Flesh).

Jon goes into the coffin (mark 12: Buried) and finds Daisy. She is much more clear-headed than before, because she has been separated from the Hunt for so long. Jon cannot feel his anchor (rib) at first, but the signal is amplified when Martin places a bunch of tape recorders on top of the coffin. Jon leads Daisy out, and both are extremely confused by all the tape recorders.

Jon and Basira find out that the servants of the Dark might be trying a ritual in Norway, and head off to stop them. On the way, Jon forces a sailor on the boat they're on to give a statement. Basira is disturbed, but doesn't try to stop him. (Back in the Archives, Martin hears from another person who Jon took a statement from, and is rightfully horrified.) In Norway, Jon and Basira learn that the Dark's ritual failed the same week Gertrude died, though there's still an artifact - the Dark Star - left from it. Jon destroys the Dark Star by literally just looking at it, though it nearly kills him (mark 13: Dark). Helen gives them a shortcut home through her corridors.

Martin leaves a tape of his conversation with the person Jon took a statement from on Basira's desk. Jon confesses that he's done this to five people. He promises not to do it again (from this point on, both he and Daisy grow weaker as they try to resist the Beholding and Hunt, respectively).

Jon, Basira, Daisy, and Melanie visit Hill Top Road (I cannot even begin to explain Hill Top Road, there's so much going on and there's no answers yet. Best I can say is it's been strongly affected by both the Web and the Desolation, and there seems to be some warping of reality in the basement.) They find a statement from Annabelle Cain (main servant of the Web) that's basically one long taunt to Jon about how the Web may or may not be orchestrating everything. Main takeaway from this is that once he starts reading a statement, he cannot stop.

Jon finds out how to quit the Institute, via an old tape from Gertrude. Her assistant, Eric Delano (Gerry Keay's father) escaped the Institute by gouging out his own eyes. Jon runs to Martin with this information and begs him to run away together, but Martin refuses. Jon tells Melanie, Daisy, and Basira. Melanie decides to act on this information, and puts her eyes out with an awl. She goes to live with Georgie, who she is dating by this point. Daisy and Basira stay in the Archives.

Season finale, Peter launches his plan. He and Martin head into the tunnels under the Institute. While down there, Peter frees the Not!Sasha and sends it to attack the Institute. He brings Martin to the Panopticon of Milbank Prison, and explains that Jonah Magnus's original body is still in the center of the Panopticon watching EVERYTHING. Elias shows up (he escaped from jail) and reveals that he IS Jonah Magnus. Peter says that Martin needs to kill Jonah's original body and take his place. From the Panopticon, he will be able to learn how to stop the Extinction (it will also trap him there forever). Martin realizes he's been manipulated and refuses, because even though the Extinction is a threat he doesn't want to sacrifice himself just so Peter can win against Elias. It is revealed that Peter and Elias formed a bet: if Peter could get one of the Institute staff to willingly join the Lonely, he would be allowed to kill Elias and take over the Institute forever. Since he failed (Martin is close to the Lonely but doesn't entirely serve it) he instead traps Martin in the Lonely, and then goes in himself.

Meanwhile, Jon finds out that the Extinction isn't as immediate a threat as he thought, and that Martin has gone with Peter to complete his plan. Jon tries to get help from Georgie, Melanie, and Helen, but all refuse. Basira and Daisy inform him that Elias escaped from prison, and they find a tape revealing that he is Jonah Magnus. All hell breaks loose at this point. Julia and Trevor (the Hunters from season three who he stole Gerry's page from) show up to try to kill Jon, and they run into Not!Sasha, which has escaped from the tunnels. Basira and Daisy tell Jon to run and help Martin. He does. Daisy makes the decision to lean into the Hunt again, and makes Basira promise to find her and kill her once it's all over. Basira agrees (unwillingly) and runs. Daisy attacks the Hunters and Not!Sasha.

Jon finds Elias at the Panopticon. Elias explains where Martin has gone, and Jon dives into the Lonely after him (mark 14: Lonely). Jon meets Peter in the Lonely, takes his statement, and kills him. He finds Martin and manages to save him.

Jon and Martin flee to one of Daisy's old safehouses in Scotland. Twenty-two days after they arrive, they receive a package that they think is from Basira containing a bunch of statements and tapes for Jon. Martin leaves to take a walk, and Jon reads a statement. It turns out to be from Elias (Jonah) explaining his whole plan with marking Jon with the Entities and various ways he manipulated events so that that would happen. Jon is unable to stop reading, and at the end of the statement is an invocation that brings all fourteen Entities through into the world. Martin makes it back to the safehouse, and they watch the world end together.

SEASON FIVE: Jon and Martin are still in the safehouse. Martin wants to leave and kill Elias, Jon wants to stay at least a bit longer to grieve the world. They could stay forever: they no longer need food, water, or sleep to survive. Jon's been constantly relistening to the tapes from the package that was delivered, and there's some backstory revealed in them: Gertrude had planned on Sasha being her replacement once she died, and had made a tape with all the information she would have needed to stay alive. She suspected that if the Entities came through into the world, they would be here to stay, and that things like space, time, and the laws of physics would stop working. There's also some nostalgic stuff with Tim and Sasha.

Jon gets hit with the knowledge that the safehouse is not actually safe, and is feeding on Jon and Martin's fear of losing each other. He and Martin agree to leave, setting out on a quest to kill Elias and try to save the world.

The structure of this new world is revealed: each fear has taken up a domain in which it is the primary source of fear for the people trapped in it, and Jon and Martin need to pass through all of them before they can get to the Panopticon and Elias. So far they've been through the Slaughter, the Corruption, the Stranger, the Buried, and the End. People are only dying in the End; in the others, there is no escape from the horror. Any time Jon gets too close to one of these domains he is overwhelmed by the fear and needs to give a statement about it. The first time, Martin just stuck his fingers in his ears, but since then he's been going on walks so he doesn't have to hear.

Annabelle Cain (Web) tries to call Martin via a payphone; he doesn't pick up.

Jon realizes he can know basically anything he wants to, and Martin asks him a series of questions, learning that: Daisy is Hunting between the domains; Basira is chasing her, planning to kill her but starting to doubt that; Melanie and Georgie are in London but he can't see them clearly; Elias is in the Panopticon; Jon and Martin are safe, traveling like they are; Jon can't see Annabelle AT ALL; and the world can be turned back if the fears are removed, but the fears can't be destroyed as long as there are people left to fear them.

Helen shows up to "check up on the happy couple" and try to make friends. Martin asks if her corridors can give them a shortcut to London, but Jon's powerful enough that he would hurt her if he tried to do that. She leaves.

They run into the Not!Sasha in the Stranger's domain. It threatens them, but cannot actually hurt them. It taunts them about Sasha, and Jon kills it. Martin is very impressed.

Helen shows up again, and explains that there are two roles people can take in this new world: afraid or feared. Jon has the ability to make something that is feared afraid, and doing so destroys the feared things utterly (this is how he killed Not!Sasha). Martin wants to go on a murder spree killing any monsters they come across; Jon does not. Helen leaves again.

While Jon is giving a statement Annabelle calls Martin on a cellphone. He answers, and she offers him help. He refuses and hangs up.

Jon reads Martin's mind and learns about the conversation with Annabelle. Martin is annoyed, and Jon promises not to do it again. They stop for a rest. Martin starts wondering about Gertrudes's past, and Jon launches into a statement about it: one of her assistants fell to the Web and killed a bunch of her other assistants, and Gertrude never trusted anyone after that. It is also revealed that if an Archivist dies, their assistants are free to leave the Institute without gouging out their eyes.

Jon and Martin are both disturbed by the statement and by the fact that neither of them could stop it. Jon explains that Gertrude would have lost purpose in the apocalypse without anyone to trust, and that Martin is giving HIM purpose. He also explains that all servants of the Entities have a domain in this new world. His is the Panopticon, and Martin DOES NOT want to know what his own is.

The most recent episode was the End's domain, run by Oliver Banks (the guy who woke Jon from his coma). This statement explained that the End is still killing people permanently, and there is no new life coming into this world; therefore, the End will eventually start stealing victims from other fears. This will ultimately deplete all human and animal life which will kill the Entities themselves and leave an empty universe.

UNADDRESSED TOPICS:

What do the Spiders want? It's surprisingly easy to leave out any traces of the Web's influence from this summary, but Jon is still carrying the cigarette lighter with the web design from season one and he doesn't seem to notice it, several important tapes he's found have been covered in cobwebs, and Annabelle is clearly targeting Martin.

Random plots that have less impact on the main story! This completely skips over characters like Mikale Salesa and Maxwell Rayner, and other oft-appearing but easily missed background people. If there are any in particular you're curious about let me know, but I don't THINK any of them are going to show up again.

Random plots that I don't know if they're going to have an impact on the main story! Agnes Montague, Gertrudes's assistants, everything with Hill Top Road - I have no idea what about their stories is going to be important from this point forward. Maybe everything, maybe nothing.

My askbox is always open if you've got any questions (@cirrus-grey). This is a broad summary that misses out a LOT of details!

#tma #the magnus archives #long post #spoilers #tma spoilers #the magnus archives spoilers #cirrus-grey #submission

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Director’s Cut 3: Danny Rayburn

* Well it’s more a focus on our Reader character, but, Danny.

“What was the inspiration behind Liliana and her family? Because they’re all so amazing 😭🙏 and how did you choose the name Devan?”

Liv, bless you for asking the difficult questions! Now you get a look inside my crazy mind (as if you hadn’t all already with Andrew.)

So, If you thought Andrew was a long post you better grab your favourite drink and your Danny playlist and settle in!

The following specifically refers to our reader character and her family, and the events of Sway and it’s spin-offs, which I will obviously always encourage you to read! 😁 Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Sweet Spot / All I Want For Christmas / Good Woman

What was the inspiration behind Liliana and her family?

Before we go into too much detail I want you to imagine 1st January, 2019. And then a girl who had recently purchased Camila Cabello’s first album - late, after being super impressed by her performance opening for Taylor Swift - and watched the first episode of Bloodline AND Dirty Dancing 2 (the trade off for having your mum watch Rogue One with you) in one single day. Anyone who hasn’t listened to Camila’s album, this is essentially Danny’s dance playlist, I don’t make the rules

I had ideas for Danny before I even started to watch. Mostly because when you’re first immersed in the world of Ben Mendelsohn and trawl through blogs, you can’t help but notice Danny. Annnd found out a lot about the show, which caused me to have a BUNCH of misconceptions and create a story in my head that was just... not even remotely close to what Bloodline is.

So here’s the deal, I occasionally like thinking about some of Ben’s characters gender bent, and how that would make them different/similar and affect their stories. I did this with Andrew and Gerry before I did it with Danny (because can we just think about Animal Kingdom if they were female?). And then armed with my assumptions, I came up with a story for Bloodline. “Linzi, why are you telling me this-!?” I hear you cry, but don’t leave the post just yet! Just keep in mind that Jack Ervin was (female) Danny’s restaurant accountant and also will they / won’t they love affair, that uhm. Well they didn’t, because Danny dies. For all intents and purposes a lot of Jack’s plot points became Lily’s (including bringing back the restaurant). Also I had a great character with a great name that I didn’t want to waste. Jack became Liliana’s dad - and therefore we got: Jack and Liliana Ervin.

Back to Dirty Dancing 2 - set in Havana, complete with its ‘will they/won’t they’ love story (of different social classes!) and of course, Latin American dancing. To say I borrowed a lot of ideas from this is probably an understatement - but Danny is a Miami boy, and Miami has Little Havana. Quickly it all kinda fell together. But in this case, Danny is the out of his element American and Liliana (given that her parents are both from Latin American backgrounds) is the dancer. Added to that in DD2 the girls parents are both dancers, I was happy to keep an element of that for our girl too. Jack remained Jack Ervin, with his name actually being Juan Ervin (American Father, Argentinian Mother) but changing his name to Jack to fit in with his Miami high-society persona. Maria (American Mother, Puerto Rican Father) basically has a super cliche Hispanic name, I know (well both of them do but Juan is the equiv. to Jack so that’s how we ended up there) but it worked for me. Liliana’s name... I don’t even know where I got it from - sometimes names just come to me, sometimes I spend hours finding a good one on all these naming sites! 😅 Lily just came to me, I certainly wanted something that could be shortened Liliana->Lily but also something that went with Danny’s name. Liliana Rayburn is a great name. (I know the irony of that, you don’t need to tell me twice!) I need a ship name for them.

Let’s take a little look at their character for a second though: Jack and Maria are meant to be parallel to Robert and Sally. But also the complete opposite. Jack is described as a ruthless businessman who doesn’t care to much about his reputation in business. He’ll just get the job done no matter what the cost. The catch being of course that really Jack is a lovely guy, he cares very much about his family (+ extended family!) and is a well respected member of Miami society. Ruthless yes - but Maria and Lily mean more than the world to him - and eventually Danny too. “No man is good enough for your daughter until one is. And he is.” and also “He would have given you the world, and I would have let him.” Just sayin’ he’s a good father and a good man. Maria is mentioned a little less than Jack is but I think that’s because I basically want to compare Jack/Danny to Robert/Danny. I also think that Jack has more to do with the overall story; he’s the one with the well known construction company that everyone recognises Liliana’s last name from, the reason that everyone is all over Danny with the “You can’t get involved with Jack Ervin’s daughter!!” spiel. Maria is the quieter character, but spends a lot of time showering Danny with love when she is around. Lily’s parents were all about giving Danny family that loved him unconditionally. A real family. She’s... probably a little more on the ‘stereotypical’ side of Hispanic parents, but there’s a reason for that-! One of my very best friends is Peruvian, and every time I visit him it’s like visiting my second family. Like from the very first time I met them his parents were SO kind, like above and beyond... and so adorable... oh my gosh, I love them so much and they are 100% inspiration for Jack and Maria. Maria is basically his mum. 😁 But more than anything I wanted Jack and Maria that wanted nothing more for their daughter than for her to find someone who loves her. No matter who he is or his background or anything like that. Which was important to me, especially having been through a relationship myself where my family didn’t really approve of him because he wasn’t from the same social class. I’m certainly not about that.

As your tags put it - Jack and Maria are the biggest Danny/Liliana shippers! 😁 (With Javi and Jason a close second! And I won’t leave out Evie and Amanda either!)

Liliana Oh my gosh. My love for her can’t be overstated. I say it every time, but I’ll say it again. When I started her and Danny’s journey on that dancefloor in January 2019 I never would have dreamed I’d be still here now nearing fic number 200. I wasn’t even sure if anyone would have been interested in them enough for me to ever write more than just Sway 1. But, when you’re asked to write a second part then you know it’s got traction and you end up with 10, of course! Inspiration for Liliana? Good question. A little like I said for Elaiyna with Andrew, I needed a S/O that fit with Danny and his story. I say at the start of part 10 that really it’s her story. And it is, Danny takes her from one night stands with men she meets on the dancefloor to mother of 2 kids in a loving relationship where it’s clear that she will never love anyone else. And it’s his character/personality, being as in character as possible, that leads her there. Liliana never runs out of chances, she forgives Danny for everything he does because she loves him so much. Because she can’t bear to think of life without him, nor what his life would be like if she left. Liliana is... a strong woman who doesn’t know how strong she is. She loves unconditionally and she doesn’t care that Danny is not on top of his game - he’s struggled his whole life, but he does not have to struggle with her. She’s meant to be the easiest thing about his life - home, a safe place, strength and stability. Danny is her adventure - with all his secrets, and his past, and how much he suffers she’s presented with a problem that she can’t solve, she can’t save,but loves him anyway. Lily will never give up. The contrast between the two worlds they are in when they meet, and then the one they build together as they grow which takes that contrast and just makes it work. Like they just work - sure I made it that way, but I tried to make it realistic. Love has no barriers, right? It shouldn’t. To quote my characters again: “There’s one fairytale here, and it’s yours.”

I wouldn’t give her a pushover title - sure she never runs out of chances for him (perhaps its arguable that she could walk away but it never occurred to me that that was her personality.) but like, screw his family. She won’t ever forgive them for what they’ve done to him, she won’t ever trust them. So why does she forgive John? Because that’s her character. That’s what Danny made her. John and Danny’s relationship always fascinated me in the show and it just strikes me that Danny and John were close, even with all that happened. Danny would want Lily to forgive him - and maybe Lily only forgives him FOR Danny, but it’s in her character. She’s tired of all this conflict and all she wants is for John to confirm he did it so she knows for sure. Liliana has elements of me in her, perhaps a little more than most of my other OCs, elements of my feelings towards characters in the show as I continued to watch, elements of other OC’s of mine (and physically too. Her Psalm tattoo I directly lifted from someone else. Hey, it be that way sometimes!) and elements of all these pieces that inspired me to write her in the first place.

I mean I don’t know if that really explains it clearly. Because there’s not really one clear inspiration for them - but from a range of different sources and elements. I hope that it even helps explain it a little though! 😅

How did you chose the name Devan?

Oh my gosh, okay. Liv why did you have to ask this question! So, oh god this is so stupid. Basically, although I knew that they would have a son, because our characters didn’t know that they were going to have a son, I wanted to give the baby a unisex name. Because I ALSO knew I was going to follow Bloodline canon it was also important to me that Danny be the one to chose the name. Added to that, like Nolan, I knew that Danny and Lily’s baby was going to keep that Rayburn last name. Devan Rayburn and Devan Ervin both sound pretty great to me..!

Obviously, it should be Devin. And the only reason I think I chose Devan was because a) I actually thought that was how you spelled it... (I mean I guess so, there’s no other logical reason I can’t have called him Devin... unless I looked at Devin Ervin and thought... ‘that’s basically the same’ and so changed the spelling but it was definitely always written Devan in plans etc) and b) a singer called Devin Dawson. When I was on my year long internship in the USA I was able to listen to country music radio - specifically the station a family friend worked on. And they were obsessed with a song called “All On Me” by Devin Dawson. (actually it’s a good one for this series, but that’s beside the point!) So I heard his name all the time, and I’m 99% sure that I got it from him. (Also fast forward and I’ve actually now seen the guy in concert and was like “Oh yeah I named a character after you.” so yeah it’s probably Devin Dawson’s fault. ) At the end of part 8 I left a note that says “Devan isn’t easily explainable but I hope you like it.” and honestly, if there’s a bigger story I can’t remember it. I know that ‘Evan’ was another character in my genderbent story but I don’t think I just added the ‘D’ to that... Maybe that was an element of it though?

Also I’m a sucker for ‘weird’ names or weirdly spelled names - a lot of my OCs fall victim to this - sorry girls! 😅 So it’s unsurprising that he ended up Devan, not Devin. Also I’d pronounce it “Dev-an” with a soft ‘a’ sound...

Interestingly it took me a little longer to decide on his middle name being Daniel. I guess I’m not sure how good “Devan Daniel Rayburn” sounds... But then I wasn’t about to resist it, and it seems like the kind of decision that Liliana would make.

I hope that answered your questions Liv! 🙏💜💙 You’re always welcome to ask for further clarification! 😁

---

Thank you as always for being interested in my work! Just gonna remind you all that you can ask for a Fanfic directors cut ! I would love to answer any questions! 🥰😘

I mean it, I’d beg. Don’t make me get that Danny gif.

#Liliana #The Ervin Family #Long Post #Sway #mendelskrull #TY Liv! Thank you for getting immersed in Sway enough to ask these questions!

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syrupwit · 3 years

Text

Letter for Chocolate Box 2021

Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Chocolate Box Exchange 2021! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

I have requested fic only for all items below. Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be thrilled to receive a gift for any of the requested fandoms or relationships.

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Planescape: Torment

Fandom: Stellar Firma

LIKES

My general/SFW likes include:

Surreality and weirdness

Character studies

Lore and worldbuilding

Humor and comedy, especially dark comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Stories-within-a-story

Unreliable narrators

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

Canon divergence AUs

Unconventional formats

My smut/NSFW likes include:

First times

Awkwardness

Characters being super into each other, especially if one or both of them are conventionally unattractive

Jealousy

Xeno

Humiliation with a male sub

Tease and denial

Orgasm delay; also orgasm denial

Dominant bottoms

Mutual dubcon/noncon, or dubcon where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech or hate crimes (discussions/mentions of bigotry are fine)

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, and it’s fine to mention animals that have canonically died, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or noncanonical death of animals)

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts or sentient skeletons/undead is OK, just not inanimate corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Requested Ships: Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson, Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson, Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne, Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker, Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

One of my favorite pieces of horror media! <3 I’ve requested mostly rarepairs for this exchange. Please don’t look to the amount I’ve written to gauge how much I want one pairing over another -- I want all these things equally and would be happy with any of them.

Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson

The respect, rapport, and humor between these two is palpable in the text of Dekker’s statements and the way Gertrude talks about him. She was still holding onto his plans to disrupt rituals after he presumably died. I’d love to know more about their working relationship, the foes they faced, and whatever’s going on with Dekker’s relationship to the Web. Extinction!Dekker would also be awesome.

If you want to get into Dekker’s faith versus Gertrude’s lack-of, please do! I’m really interested in the way that religion/faith functions in a world like TMA’s, and I love conflicts between characters where neither “side” is cast as “right” by the narrative but it’s clear why everyone believes the things they do. But if you’re not interested in touching on this topic, no worries.

Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson

Star-crossed as hell. I refuse to believe that they only met once, or that they were entirely somber and fateful and dutiful about it. imo Gertrude generally comes off as contemptuous or irreverent about other entities and avatars, but she seems to reserve a certain respect for Agnes. Agnes... I’d just like to know more about Agnes.

I’d love to hear about their history: how their metaphysical bond works in daily life, the encounters or near misses they’ve had over the decades, the ways they’ve helped or foiled each other from a distance. I would especially love some outsider POV, whether it’s Gertrude receiving statements about Agnes, Agnes hearing of Gertrude’s exploits secondhand, or a third party perceiving a meeting between them. A statement directly from Agnes could also be awesome.

I’d love any AU where they have to work more closely together, as well -- be it canon divergence, or a setting AU like vampire/vampire hunter. (Oooh. Buffyverse AU with Gertrude as a Watcher and Agnes as the leader of the vampire cult that killed her latest Slayer, y/n?)

Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne

“Alone” was one of the first episodes in the podcast that really got me, and the image of Naomi running between those open graves is still striking. I feel terrible for Evan and am so curious about his fate. I’d love to hear more about their relationship, anything that might have happened to Naomi post-Eyepocalypse, or an AU where Naomi rescues Evan from the Lonely or vice versa.

Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker

These two have never met on-air, but I think they’d really get along. They’re both quick, driven, given to quips and reasoned action, and possessed of tragic backstories. Whether they meet somehow pre-canon, Tim finds Gerry’s book in the time between Jon’s return from America and the Unknowing, or there’s a full AU scenario, I would love to see them interact. I think there could be some interesting tension around Gerry’s decision to consciously align himself with the Eye versus Tim’s unwilling conscription, and the ways their family histories have forced them into contact with the supernatural.

Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

Harriet Fairchild is a one-episode background character with barely a handful of third-hand lines, but I’m very intrigued by her. Simon is a sparkling example of Affable Evil and I would enjoy reading more about his philosophy and relationships with others. I’m interested in the family dynasties connected to the entities and just kind of want to know more.

What are the Fairchilds, and how do they create new family members? Who was Harriet before she became a Fairchild? How does she conceive of the Vast, and what is her attraction to it (or aversion-turned-attraction)? Who is Simon to her -- teacher, tormentor-turned-teacher, evil father figure -- and how do they agree and diverge on how best to serve their patron? I really love explorations of avatars’ different relationships with their respective entities, so I would adore something about that.

Some things that particularly compel me about the Vast: the image and name of the Falling Titan, freedom in nihilism, the comfort of insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, love for the sky, adrenaline and excitement, hollowness / emptiness, unusual manifestations, alliances and rivalries with other powers.

PLANESCAPE: TORMENT

Requested Ships: Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace, Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace, Morte & The Nameless One, Morte/The Nameless One

I completed this game for the first time in fall 2020 and enjoyed the hell out of it. I’ve only played through twice, and I haven’t explored all the routes or possible encounters; please excuse the current gaps and mistakes in my canon knowledge!

Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace | Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace

I fell for Annah because of her voice acting (the affectionate wryness! the ill-concealed vulnerability!), and Grace because I love older female characters whose stoic or gracious exteriors conceal fortresses of discipline. While I’m not in love with the way women are written in Planescape: Torment, I really like both these specific characters and crave more interactions between them. Their relationship has a great deal of tension with no real resolution, and they have an interesting mix of similarities and contrasts. I think there are some fascinating possibilities to explore with them, whether platonically or romantically.

Annah mistrusts and is jealous of Grace. Meanwhile, Grace seems disappointed when Annah rejects her friendly overtures, and repeatedly shows protectiveness towards her. (What does Grace see in Annah, besides a romantic rival or just a younger woman who doesn’t like her? If they had met earlier, how would Grace have tried to cultivate her?) Annah is hotheaded and ruled by emotion, while Grace keeps her arguably more tumultuous feelings under rigid control. Then Annah’s implied discomfort with her heritage as a tiefling, and Grace’s turmoil over her identity and past trauma as a tanar’ri, are another potentially exploitable source of conflict.

I’d love something about a bonding attempt on Grace’s part gone awry -- does it get criminal? Unexpectedly dangerous? Uncomfortably sexy? An exploration of how they deal with things post-ending (any ending), or just everyday interactions with the citizens and environment of Sigil, would also be awesome. Hurt/comfort, too -- maybe something where Annah is trying to be stoic while Grace heals her, or a situation where Annah has to take care of Grace and is super out of her element? Or maybe Annah gets mazed somehow, and is shocked when Grace shows up to rescue her? These are all merely suggestions though.

Morte & The Nameless One | Morte/The Nameless One

One of the most complicated relationships in the game, and also (in my opinion) the most intriguing. I’m really interested in Morte’s loyalty to the Nameless One and the way his guilt intersects with and fuels it. They have such a long, twisted history, and the player’s decisions can put so many different spins on it. I’d really love anything about them, shippy or gen. (I would prefer that the focus be kept off their romantic/sexual relationships with women or aspirations toward the same, particularly the sexually harassing comments.)

I’m a massive, massive sucker for comic relief characters encountering serious/dark situations, so I would love anything with Morte in that vein, whether it’s one of his canonical moments of peril (getting stolen by Lothar! potentially being traded to the Pillar of Skulls!) or a new situation. A past incarnation of the Nameless One could also provide the peril. Their relationship has gone through near infinite iterations -- there’s so much to exploit there, and so much opportunity for angst on Morte’s part (and pining, if you want to go in a shippy direction).

Further prompts… Hmm. I’d love something that explores the world of Planescape in general and Sigil in particular; I’m particularly fond of the mortuary, the catacombs, and UnderSigil. It’d also be cool to see their first meeting after the “best” ending of the game (where the Nameless One finally dies and goes off to join the Blood War). On the whole, though, anything where these two are together and bantering would be lovely!

STELLAR FIRMA

Requested Ships: David 7/Trexel Geistman, Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz, Number 1/Number 48, David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz, David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

It’s difficult to express how much I love this podcast, but rest assured I really, really do. It has been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once exuberantly silly, but also dark and horrifying, in a way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. It would be hard not to delight me with any fic about the requested gen relationship and ships.

David 7/Trexel Geistman

I didn’t actually ship these two until I wrote 10k+ words of them talking. Then Season 3 came along, and, well, I LOVE THEM. They’re so fun together, and I love the gradual development of their not-quite-friendship -- those few, short moments of genuine connection, that contrast all the more with Trexel’s everyday self-absorbed cruelty and the oppressive horror of David’s situation.

The potential for jealousy and unrequited pining on Trexel’s part here is particularly delicious. (I would be totally cool with unrequited Trexel->David for this request, by the way.) However, I also love the idea of David realizing, with creeping horror, that he has feelings for Trexel, or that he returns Trexel’s no doubt inconvenient and poorly expressed affections. Imagine the songs they would sing.

In terms of prompts… I really loved the in-universe coffee shop setup; something about their time there, or an AU where they get to stay longer, would be lovely. Playing with tropes could be fantastic -- soulmate/soulbond AUs, arranged marriage, bodyswap, amnesia, wingfic, time loops, fake dating, hurt/comfort, one character being assumed dead when they aren’t (and then it makes the other character realize their feelings, oh no). I’d also really love angst, centered around pining or not. I think some terribly painful things could be done with these characters, and I’d love to read them.

Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

I fell hard for this ship right about when Hartro made Trexel drink clone slurry in Episode 5. I love how much fun she has terrorizing him, how he just has to take it, and how he both fears her and scrambles for her attention. (NB: I am 100% unironically into the foot thing, so feel free to do whatever you’d like with that, including nothing.)

I love what a disaster Hartro is. It’s not her fault that she was assigned to Trexel -- he could drive anyone mad -- but she lets her hatred of him goad her into making terrible decisions. At the same time, as a nonnie on FFA expressed a while ago, it seems like she gets more out of the relationship than she wants to confront or acknowledge. On Trexel’s end, Hartro seems to demonstrate the exact sort of mix of “come here” and “get away from me” that captures his attention.

Kink is baked into this ship, so I’ll try to be shameless about requesting it. I was perhaps overly gratified when Trexel was canonically stated to be a masochist (he likes getting shock-collared! and possibly stepped on!). I’d love anything that goes even further with their canon dynamic -- D/s, punishment, bondage; humiliation, degradation, the foot thing; maybe dubcon with a pre-canon Hartro taking out her frustrations on Trexel, or some sort of incredibly messed up corporate training exercise.

Explicit kinky content is far from my only interest here, though -- I’d also love romance, a lower-rated exploration of UST, or something that examines their relationship without getting into kink or sex at all. This is one of those ships where, if you make them hold hands in a certain way, hearts will spontaneously explode in my eyes. Just a fact.

Number 1/Number 48

Standards! So sinister. What’s up with them, anyway? How did they meet and agree to file relationship paperwork together? What are their couples counseling sessions with Dr. Krell like? What were the most egregiously vague pronouncements that Number 1 made pre-canon, and what other work assignments have impacted their personal lives and forced them to cancel reservations? ...How did Number 48 get the murder hammer?

Since these two are, I believe, the highest-ranking members of Stellar Firma to have appeared in the podcast so far, I’d love something about their interactions with other higher-up types or silly protocols or general Brazil-type bureaucratic madness. If there are ominous promises and disturbing implications packaged in crisp business jargon, all the better.

David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz | David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

So, I love these characters and the way they interact. I love that they’re all dramatic and ridiculous in their own ways, and that no one is strictly the straight man or the comic relief (though Trexel does come close to the latter).

Gen-wise, these three seeing a common goal through together would be delightful, whether it’s something small or grand-scale or completely imaginary. Something science fiction-y, or crossover with another genre like horror or film noir, could be really fun. Additionally, the episode where they all play a TTRPG is one of my favorites -- I’d love something else about them playing a game together or otherwise letting Hartro explore her passion for elaborate props and scenarios.

Ship-wise, I’ve already talked about why I love David/Trexel and Hartro/Trexel. For David and Hartro, I like that they’re able to have a polite, semi-reasonable conversation, but I was also intrigued by the hint of antagonism in Episode 55, with the angry staring and pointed bed-sitting. I tend to read David as either gay or bi with a heavy preference for men, but I could absolutely get into some David/Hartro rather than a V relationship for this OT3. In terms of shippy prompts, I’m interested in seeing them navigate the same scenarios as in gen, but I would also love some messed up three-person corporate training exercises if you’d like to go that route.

#optional detailed letters for exchanges tag

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gretchensinister · 4 years

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A Mild AU Approaches

2/29/2020

Fuck it. Magnus Archives Great British Baking Show AU.

Elias and Gertrude are the judges.

Helen and Gerry are the Noel-Sandy equivalents.

Weeks: (mostly not in order) (I know this is too many episodes.)

The Buried: Cake Week (fillings, patterns and designs hidden underneath icing)

The Web: Biscuit Week because the showstopper is always something that requires a lot of complex planning

The Corruption: Fermentation/Mold/Yeast Week? This hasn’t been done on the Great British Baking Show yet but I think it would be cool. A lot of food prep before fridges is making sure it rots correctly

The Dark: Chocolate Week!

The End: Pastry Week...yes, I think pastry week is suitable for The End

The Eye: Bread Week? Fits with Elias being the male judge and also bread week I think has the most sitting around and watching

The Desolation: Caramel Week. Caramel is the substance I associate most with burning and destruction on this show

The Flesh: Pie Week? I feel like there’s usually a meat pie or some such in the challenges. Harder to avoid meat on this week than others.

The Hunt: I want to say something like a Spice Week or a Botanical Week because that involves searching out (hunting for) new flavor combinations to impress the judges

The Slaughter: Deserts Week because this is always when they have something like a meringue-ice cream-jelly thing and it can get TENSE

The Vast: Air Week! This, like fermentation week, is not something that the Great British Baking show has done before but could totally work as a theme. Souffles, meringues, all those delicate airy things...the fear of falling is definitely there.

The Stranger: Substitute Ingredients Week, making dairy things with no dairy, etc. Showstopper is an illusion cake.

The Spiral: Patisserie Week. At some point fancy baked items reach the point of WHO would think of doing this and WHY

The Lonely: The Final because there’s almost no one left in the tent by then

Contestants:

Jon: A finalist. The final draws on as many skills of the previous weeks and well...

While making spun sugar in the final, muttered: “It IS the apocalypse. It is. It is.”

Martin: A finalist. Fan favorite.

In the final: “They’ve got me separated from everyone else. I miss them, but they underestimate what I can do from this corner.”

Melanie: There was some drama when she accidentally baked a metal piping tip into a cake, Jon spotted it and dug it out; she thought at first he was just messing with her bake.

Post challenge comments: “I guess I didn’t actually want to serve Elias a bit of metal...or did I? Serve him right for the way he lurks around, watching us. *laughs* No, I won’t serve any more bits of metal.”

Georgie: Finalist. Everyone asks her how she’s so amazing with pastry

With a perfectly straight face, pounding butter into a rectangle: “I don’t feel fear. That’s the key to everything.”

Daisy: Brought a partridge that she personally hunted one week as an ingredient; everyone is impressed.

Basira: Often put at a station near Jon, becomes a fan favorite for her facial reactions as Jon describes his bake plans, which are FREQUENTLY unorthodox. But so are hers.

Tim: Charming, good-looking fan favorite. Skipping his summer kayaking trip to be on the show. Eliminated after a really bad technical that he had no idea where to even start.

Sasha: Very knowledgeable, but eliminated fairly early.

Not-Sasha: Doesn’t actually look that much like Sasha, but people keep confusing them anyway. Has the nickname for as long as she’s on the show.

Jane Prentiss: Keeps bees and brought in their honey to use a few times. Star Baker of Fermentation Week.

Jurgen Leitner: Steady baker, has a collection of cookbooks which he mentioned to Elias and Elias rags him about when his bakes are less than perfect.

Simon Fairchild: Honestly just here for a laugh. Star Baker of Air Week.

#the magnus archives #tma #great british baking show

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darkestwolfx · 4 years

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Fight or Flight - Re-Review #38

The perfect scenery for an episode which is taking it’s title from an old saying relating to the natural instincts of animals and humans - the fight or fight instinct; whether you stay and hold your ground (a little like Kayo), or whether you try and run in fear of your life (I can imagine Gordon having to do this quite often when he is caught pranking his brothers). Oh, but did we mention, it’s actually in the air? Yeah, it took two minutes to get to that point!

So, because this episode darts around all over the place, I’m doing this review (again) in sections according to character and storyline, because I like everything to be all neat and tidy, okay? I’m thinking of all of you here by giving you ease of access to a complicated and jam packed episode - you should be thanking me.

Also, I will apologise in advance now for the fact that this review is mostly picture based - literally I think this section here is the wordiest of all.

So, moving away from the ominous cargo hold, which is no doubt bound to be full of idiots - because let’s face it, that is just the way that things work in TAG - let’s start with the fact that we are opening in space again! Yay, John’s domain. And the scenery is pretty damn right on this one. I love how if you look really carefully you can make out the different shapes of the continents below.

And here we have a space spider - someone call Gordon and Alan, it’s an alien! Oh wait, no, hang up, it’s only Brains. A rather nervous Brains - obviously the ‘flight’ part behind the title of this episode. It’s nice to see him up in (or on) Thunderbird Five again. It happened in TOS in ‘The Cham-Cham’.

“I’m just having a little trouble adjusting to being weightless.”

“It was the same for me when I started. You get used to it.”

But of course, they can’t even manage to do repairs and maintenance without something coming there way!

“Your databases are offline because I started a systems check. It’s ok, I backed everything up onto MAX.”

“Atta boy, MAX.”

Thank goodness for MAX, ey?

And here’s the situation;

“A cargo carrier experienced a missives systems failure. The ship is on a crash course for Anderbad City.”

Anderbad City first appeared in the TOS episode ‘Perils of Penelope’, with Anderbad being a play on Gerry and Sylvia Anderson’s surname. It was given notable features such as the Anderbad Tunnel and the Anderbad Express, but it was never shown in full. TAG have added a Flight Control Tower, so we can assume that Anderbad is a big city with travel at the centre.

So, here we go, I thought I’d go back to the cargo hold first which is a little backwards I know, but I’m doing it because... just because okay? Reviewers choice.

Run for your lives! The machinery is striking back!

Scott nearly getting hit and then running back for the flight deck is absolutely hilarious.

“We have a new problem.”

And I won’t deal with that part, I’ll choose to fly the zeppelin, is probably what Scott was thinking. Because, yes, that option seems so much better!

“Looks like we’ll need that back up, Kayo.”

It was probably a good thing that she was ready and waiting in this instance, because Scott couldn’t have done that much multitasking, great though he is.

“How are you guys doing in there?”

“Oh you know, just playing hide and seek with a giant bone crushing claw. You know, no big deal.”

Yeah, you’re right, the bigger deal is that you might die anyway, so playing hide and seek is probably the least of your worries right about now. In fact, that might be preferable depending on your viewpoint. At least that might be marginally more entertaining than sitting and waiting for death to come.

“How does a giant, mechanical loading claw take it’s tea?”

“I don’t know.”

“With a pinch of sugar.”

“That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

I have to admit, I’m with her on that one. Who even thought that joke up! And who heard that joke and then thought ‘hey, that’s a good one to go in the script!’ I didn’t even laugh, I will be perfectly honest.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get them out.”

“Why would I worry?”

Hmm, maybe because it’s a life threatening situation? Just hazarding a guess here.

Kayo should be happy anyway - she got to show off her bad-guy chasing gymnastic skills, even if it was only against machinery.

“International Rescue. Time to go. Follow me!”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No, I’m pretty serious.”

“We can’t jump and flip around like you just did!”

No, I don’t imagine you can.

“I’ll distract the claw so you can make a run for it.”

Literally the point of this episode, isn’t it? Running for it?

I have a theme song for it - look up ‘Run for It’ by (you won’t regret it).

“Where does that lead?”

“Emergency exit.”

“This definitely qualifies as an emergency.”

Hell yes, I would think it does!

“Kayo, you need to get out.”

“Great idea, Scott, thanks for the suggestion!”

No need to be sarcastic - he’s just looking out for you, remember?

As a side note, look at the robot! I want one... I bet its more environmentally friendly than my car.

“The ship’s loosing altitude faster than my projections. But why?”

“It looks like the liquid hydrogen fuel cells have cracked open.”

“And I’m guessing that’s bad?”

Yes, Scott, that’s bad.

“The tanks keep the fuel isolated. but if an electrical fire starts on impact, you’ll get what we scientists call a big ka-boom. Which is also what my insides feel like.”

“What’s the time frame?”

“John says I’ll feel better once I get used to zero gravity.”

“I think he means before the zeppelin crashes.”

“Oh right. Factoring in altitude, wind speed, ship weight, adjusting for cargo, and letting x equal the rate of fuel loss, we get... oh my!”

“Scott, you’re gonna’ need to move. Fast.”

“FAB. And Brains, that means feel better soon.”

Yeah... that conversation gets me every time. They never said how fast Scott needed to move, but hey, it’s okay, because he listened. Considering the zeppelin appeared seconds later.

“Thunderbird two could nudge the ship and change course that way.”

Of course that is the first suggestion that Scott comes up with. Just shove it out the way and be done with it. Good plan.

“I would strongly caution against that. Those leaking fuel cells could easily rupture.”

Or not.

“Ka-boom, got it. Ok, I’m gonna’ need to get on board. Maybe I can regain some control of this thing.”

Yay, we get to see Scott pilot a zeppelin! That’s a change.

“Hey, Virgil, just taking a little air!”

“I’ve got Thunderbird One slaved to my controls.”

Yeah... because a line like that always means good things are coming. I love how Virgil at least knew what it meant - take Thunderbird One.

“All systems critical. We’re on auxiliary power with almost no altitude control or steering. I can’t risk landing with that fuel leak. I’m gonna’ point her down and bail out. She’ll crash safely into the lake before reaching the city.”

You can’t say something like that without expecting trouble.

“Crash course set, ready to bail out.”

“Hello? Anyone there? We’re stuck! We can’t get out! Trapped!”

“Hello? Can you hear me? John, did you get that? I thought everyone was off this ship?”

“Me too. Hang on. The numbers don’t match. They messed up their count.”

Great! And so we revert to the cargo hold, which I’ve already covered.

“Do we have time to get the crew out before we reach the city?”

“Negative. You’re gonna’ have to fly over the city, and bring it down in the open countryside on the other side.”

“We’ll never make it. We’re still losing height.”

“If you offload 90% of the fuel, there’s a chance you’ll be light enough to make it over the city.”

A chance? I suppose we have to take it because there’s no other option really.

“Ok, I’ll keep flying. Virgil, you start pumping out that fuel.”

Yeah, because that will buy us lots of non-existent time! At least it’s better than nothing.

“Oh, it’s going to be tight.”

“Tight, but we should make it tight? Or John’s space suit tight?”

“I don’t know if I know how to answer that question in a way that’s reassuring.”

“Space suit tight.”

Scott’s doing a really good job of flying under pressure here, I would just like to say.

“I think it should be enough.”

“You think or you know?”

“I think I know.”

Very reassuring Brains. I feel very non-reassured.

“That should do it, Scott.”

“Got to be sure.”

“Now, Scott, get out!”

Listen to John, for goodness sake, Scott.

Fly for your lives! There’s an explosion!

You know, Wolfie definitely understands the reason for this episode title now. They were being really clever - well done Dan Berlinka.

In my opinion, this is one of the closest calls that they’ve showed us, and I really appreciated that. TOS did it a few times in ‘City of Fire’ and ‘Danger at Ocean Deep’ (I’m talking proper close calls here, because I know there are many near misses), and TAG have done it quite often with Gordon, but this one was a really nice show of skill and panic, and absolute expertise at the end of it all.

“Yes! He made it!”

Hooray! We’ve succeeded! Let’s all go home!

After a hug... but maybe remember to not hug John... he looks like he’s feeling a little awkward there, Brains.

“Nice work everyone. We limited the damage at Anderbad city to one billboard.”

That poor billboard. But yes, successful.

And look what’s waiting at home!

I was wondering where Gordon and Alan had got to... “on a supply run”... yeah right, who’s great idea was that. They only have themselves to blame for what the boys bring back. Interestingly, they never said where Scott and Alan were at the end of the last episode (and I was waiting for that), so it was nice to actually see the pair pop up right at the end.

“Hey guys!”

“How was the supply run?”

“Routine. But wait till you see what me and Alan picked up at an antiques store on the way back.”

“It’s the same game John used to play all the time.”

A nice little reference back to ‘Skyhook’ here. Continuity at it’s best.

“You grab prizes with the claw!”

Yes, we do have eyes, thank you, Alan.

“Who wants to go first?”

Cue mass exodus of the lounge... And a tumbleweed to roll through in the wake of it all. (Actually, could some one get me a tumbleweed please? I feel like my cat would appreciate it. Shes called Munchies, by the way.)

“What did I say?”

“We should have brought some prizes.”

This is funny, because Alan probably said that, and Gordon probably ‘ignored’ him.

“Oh, claw machine needs prizes!”

“No wonder they didn’t want to play!”

I don’t think that was quite it, but hey, let’s not disappoint them anymore. Look at Gordon’s face.

P.S. This ended up more wordy and longer than I had expected! I’ve outdone myself for midnight pieces of work (and a very dodgy internet connection).

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soveryanon · 5 years

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Four weeks later, reviewing time for MAG139 /o/

-I’m still crying over how the first time Tim ever spoke on tape, he pointed out so many mistakes/typos/misreadings from statements that were faaar from being one-liner but actually… Big Mysteries that are still relevant now. Amongst those:

(MAG033) TIM: Um… oh, and here, in Miss Montauk’s statement about her father’s killings. You refer to case, um, 9220611 as case, um, 1106922. Oh, and don’t get me started on the other case numbers around the Hill Top hauntings, they’re a mess! […] So, in case 8163103… it isn’t clear if Albrecht’s wife is called “Clara” or “Carla”, ‘cause you keep switching back and forth…

Aaaand it was in that episode that we heard about “Peter Lukas” for the first time ever. I miss Tim and gdi, he had a good nose…

- I want to say a word about Jon’s reading of the statement in itself: “Jon, what the FUCK.” Part of why it was so sneakily terrifying was… how much Jon was into it? He totally ran with the sheer glee and cruelty, especially, I felt, in these moments:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “It’s hard to say how much I’ve got left in me; how much longer my sacrifices can buy me. But when I go… you better believe I’m going big – and it is going to hurt. […] And I hurt so very many people… A building fire is a dreadful thing – but so much more dreadful when it’s shining out into that night. It was the first of my crimes, but not the last, and arson has always been my thing. It’s such a simple way to destroy everything someone has built, both literally, and figuratively. […] I was to secure her sacrifices. I would spare you the details, but I do not wish to~”

Presumably, the dramatic reading is still a Jon Thing and not intrinsically spooky, but w o w Jon, you didn’t have to take that edge for a sadistic serial killer.

- YEAH OKAY, and Eugene was terrifying per se. Why are all Desolation people Like That. And Eugene started… very young:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “So, me? I was born in ’36 […]. But now, staggering through the ruins of his life, the look I saw on his face… it woke something in me. Something… truly awful… Anyone who talks about “the Blitz spirit” wasn’t there, or wants to paper over their fear with nostalgia. Terrible things happened in the Blackout, and we hurt each other just as much as the Germans hurt us. And I hurt so very many people…”

He… wasn’t even ten, back then…

;; Aaaand once again, demonstration that spooks tend to go for the easy, vulnerable targets:

Gerry had commented about the fact that the world becoming a Factory Farm for a Fear God would mean being able to snatch everything (MAG111: “right now all the entities have to act like a hunter, they pick off the weak ones around the edges, the ones that wander too close, and the rest of the time they have to just graze on whatever fear we all passively give away.”) but it’s always upsetting when we get Spooks describing their preferred targets… ;;

Eugene said that he was already seventy, he’s now eighty, Jon had found hints that he was probably still active (MAG139, Jon: “looking at the details for the British Steel Plant in Scunthorpe, it does seem like Eugene is still around. So I can only assume… some sort of equilibrium was found. Given what happened when I met Jude Perry, I’m not in any rush to track him or… any of them down myself.”), but given how Eugene had promised that he would be “going big” at the end of his life, it… probably won’t be pretty.

(And I totally understand that Jon feels like it’s not his own battle! But at every little concession, my heart breaks a bit. There are still people in the coffin; Eugene is probably still taking foreign workers even after Agnes’s death, for his own sacrifices… and it’s true that it’s not the Archive team’s role to save them, that they have bigger things to focus on? But they know what is happening, and that still means that innocents are getting killed and/or consumed and they… let it happen. It feels so Beholding, to know and to allow it, feeding from the scraps of the surviving witnesses’ tales…? They’re not actively allowing these terrible things to happen but they take advantage of that whole system…)

Eugene also highlighted how in the end, the cults/clusters/congregations of people worshipping the same concept are… human-made. There doesn’t seem to be any special instructions or a divine revelation about how they should proceed; they scramble and try things out, but it’s mostly coming from punctual decisions, in the same way that Robert Smirke made arbitrary decisions regarding his Architecture of the Fears.

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I found my God through my own path, served It in my own way; and when Arthur and Diego found me, told me there were others that shared my devotion… Well, I can’t say it doesn’t feel nice to belong. Even if we do have our… little disagreements. […] But a longing… is not the same thing as an instruction. We’d all been touched and warped by proximity to the holy Burning Fire, but none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. […] Some objected, said that unless the child was conceived of the Flame, it could never be a true incarnation. But they had no idea of how such a conception could possibly even work, so it was decided that it would have to be enough to birth the child by fire. […] There was some… division amongst us as to the best course of action, something that will surely not surprise you at this stage.”

It’s kind of impressive that the Lightless Flame managed to be a small cult, that Rayner attracted people around his own “religion”, and that the Magnus Institute apparently managed to establish itself around something its people shared (given that there are the international canals, the Usher Foundation and the Pu Songling Research Centre, who knew about the Archivist’s powers, and Jon was identified in Beijing, Elias was clearly familiar to Xiaolin, etc.). It makes sense, in that regard, that even when feeling like they “belong” and are worshipping the same concept, spooks tend to give their same patrons so many different names – like different aspects of it. I wonder if there are also divisions amongst the Beholding people about their ritual and how they should try to go about it? Outside of the fact that some (Jon…? Please, Jon, confirm that you still don’t want That.) might refuse to partake in it altogether because they’re satisfied with the world as is, like Jared demonstrated in MAG131 in his refusal to join in The Last Feast.

- I wonder to which extent we’re going to hear about the history of the Lightless Flame again, because… it sounds like there are still so many mysteries (even more than before this episode?) and I have no idea if they’ll fall into the left-in-the-air-for-us-to-guess/wonder category (Jonny did promise that we won’t get spoon-fed all the answers, iirc?), or if this will all get cleared up later.

* First, everything around Diego Molina (Malina? Not the first time his name has popped up, but each of his episodes are floating in the no-official-transcript void):

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “We all felt the calling, the dreams, pulling us ever closer to a world of fire and loss, a place of burning, and agony, when we remade the world in the image of the Lightless Flame, the one Diego called “Asag”. […] none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. […] Arthur has told us not to harm you yet, but this whole thing has really rather weakened his authority, and many of us are now looking towards Diego for leadership. But we shall see, I suppose.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: “Diego”, I assume to be Diego Molina, who Basira crossed paths with back in her Section’d days, and “Arthur”… could be Arthur Nolan – though, going from… the head of a cult to watching over Jane Prentiss as a landlord… does seem like something of a demotion. … God knows. It’s not like I don’t have my own office politics to keep track of.

Jon remembered Basira’s account of her encounter with Diego (when she had been able to tell his name), from MAG043, which gave us an official description of him. He had been involved in the case which got her to sign her first Section 31 form, regarding a fire near Clapham in August 2011, and resulting in the death of a fellow (racist) officer:

(MAG043) BASIRA: He was… a Hispanic male. Probably mid to late forties, heavyset with a completely shaved head. […] I realised for the first time the bald guy’s saying something. Not loud, but intensely. I mean, this was years ago so I don’t remember exactly what he was saying, but it definitely involved the words “cleansing fire”, “all shall be ash”, and the name “Asag”? Which, I later learned, is some kind of Sumerian demon. So that’s fun. […] Our arsonist’s name was Diego Molina. He was assistant curator at some Mexican museum, come over with a loan to the Natural History Museum, but… they hadn’t heard from him for a few weeks. […] The only thing Diego Molina had on him, when we brought him in, was a small book, bound in red leather. They caught Spencer in storage, trying to destroy it with a zippo lighter. […] They told me he killed himself when he got home. Apparently, he’d somehow filled the bath full of boiling water and just… just got in. Official story was he’d somehow done it using a kettle, which… that’s, that’s just about the weakest cover-up I ever heard.

And the description she gave, and the focus on “Asag”, is of course putting to mind the mysterious man from MAG012 who was transported to Lesere Saraki’s service on the night of the 23rd December of 2011 (so six months after Basira’s case), and who had apparently been fighting with Gerry Keay, before Gerry killed him for good in the hospital:

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “Apparently the fire brigade had responded to reports of a blaze in a building site near St Mary’s churchyard, and had turned up to find the two men lying unconscious. There had been no fire, although the ground they lay on showed several burn marks and a metal bar that had been lying nearby appeared to have bent slightly as if from great heat. […] the more I heard, the more it sounded like most of them weren’t in English. The first sounded like “Asak” or “Asag”, then “Veepalach” and finally in English “The Lightless Flame”. The last part was very clear, and I assumed he was talking about whatever burned him, but he said it with such intensity that the words made me feel quite uncomfortable.”

[…] ARCHIVIST: As far as the mystery man’s chanting goes, if it was indeed “Asag” that he was saying, then that’s quite interesting. Asag is the name of a demon in Sumerian mythology associated with disease and corruption, which doesn’t really seem to have much relevance to this statement except that it was also fabled that Asag was able to boil fish alive in their rivers. Admittedly in Sumerian myth this was because he was monstrously ugly but a curious coincidence nonetheless. “Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out.

* Tangent about Gerry but mMMmm, there is one item I had absolutely forgotten about that was mentioned in this episode?

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “He was in almost identical shape to the first, except for the fact that the burns seemed to stop at his neck, along a clear line. It was as though he’d been wearing a choker that the damage couldn’t get above but his neck was bare. […] Like the first, he was completely covered in almost uniform second-degree burns, except for what at first I thought were small black scorch marks. Looking closer, I saw that they were eyes. Small, tattooed eyes on every one of his joints: his knees, his elbows and even his knuckles, as well as just over his heart. I would have expected the burns to have almost destroyed tattoos that small but instead they were unblemished and the skin about a centimetre around each one also didn’t seem to have been affected. […] After a few seconds of awkward silence, Gerard spoke. He asked me if the paramedics had brought any items in with them. Specifically, he was after a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant he had been wearing. He didn’t say what design had been on the pendant but I guessed it had been an eye. I told him that neither of those things had been brought in with him, and he was quiet for a long time.”

With the descriptions of his wounds and how the Eyes had apparently protected him from the burning, and how there was specifically a clear delimitation after his neck, and how he had lost a pendant… it looks like he had a(n Eye?) pendant acting as a protection, which was pretty efficient? Given Gerry’s reaction, was it actually… from Eric’s…? (I doubt he would have been apparently stunned into silence like this if it had just been something from Mary?)

Plus, I’m not sure about a few things but they’re quite interesting to think about: Why had Gerry apparently been fighting against Diego? In MAG111, he mainly described his activities around Leitner books at the time, and we spotted him casually saving or giving hints to a few statement-givers here and there, helping them to survive, but this was the only time we heard of him him… actively fighting and killing a Spook. Had they been fighting over the “small book bound in red leather”? Given how Eugene mentioned Diego’s reading in MAG139, that Basira remembered they had retrieved a book on him in MAG043, and that Gerry was after one that matched its description in MAG012, he was tied to at least that one, so… I would say it was either a (proto)Leitner, either a Smirke book covering some thoughts about the rituals? Did Diego become a Spook thanks to it, à la Mike Crew and Jared Hopworth? (Though in their cases, they got rid of their own books once they acquired their powers…)

(Given Gertrude’s personal history with the Lightless Flame, I first thought, very excitedly, that Gerry had tried to neutralise someone who was threatening direct harm to Gertrude. Technically, unless small retcon, it can’t be the case: Mary Keay was stated to have died in September 2008 (MAG004), Gerry explained that she had “haunted” him for five years after that (MAG111) until Gertrude found him and got rid of Mary, and that Gerry had only begun working with her after that. There is a very small discrepancy here (that would mean that Gertrude made Mary disappear in 2013 and Gerry said he then proceeded to work with her “for a few years”… but he died in late 2014) but, technically, with the information we’ve got, Mary was still haunting Gerry at the time of his hospitalisation in 2011… and sadly, was probably indeed the person who came to fetch Gerry (MAG012, Lesere Saraki: “Gerard Keay was treated for a further four days in the hospital before being discharged into the care of his mother.”). When Jon had highlighted how he had the feeling that Gertrude drew a sick pleasure from pretending to be Gerry’s mom (MAG107), my first instinct was to scream “gERTRUDE…” about MAG012… but nop, doesn’t appear to work. Damnit.)

* Anyway, back to Diego: he was apparently the Scholar-like of the group (was the one calling their god “Asag”, was the one to tell the others that their ideal world was called “The Scoured Earth”), and he was definitely tied to that book in red leather, and Basira did mention that John Spencer hadn’t managed to burn it, and HUUUU, I remembered having thought, with “They caught Spencer in storage, trying to destroy it with a zippo lighter.” (MAG043) that there were lots of lighters involved (Gerry’s, Jon’s…) but… specifically there, given the Very Tense relationship between The Web and The Desolation, I wonder if this might have in fact been the same one with the web design that would later end up in Jon’s hands – the Web trying to use someone to get rid of a Desolation-related item, to put another dent into the Lightless Flame’s activities, a few years after Agnes’s death?

* It’s REALLY interesting that Diego was obsessed with calling their god “Asag”, given how Jon highlighted that it was more linked to “corruption” (MAG012: “Asag is the name of a demon in Sumerian mythology associated with disease and corruption, which doesn’t really seem to have much relevance to this statement except that it was also fabled that Asag was able to boil fish alive in their rivers.”)… and how Arthur Nolan was apparently punished, or cast away, stuck with the Hive:

(MAG032, Jane Prentiss) “I don’t know how long the nest has been there. It’s not even my house, I just live there. Some sweaty old man thinks he owns it, taking money for my presence as though it will save him. […] Now I know that whatever the old man thinks, as he passes about the house with brow crinkled and mouth puckered in disapproval, it is not his. It has a thousand truer owners who shift and live and sing within the very walls of the building. He does not even know about the wasps’ nest. I wonder how long he has not known. How many years it has been there. Have you ever heard of the filarial worm? Mosquitoes gift it with their kiss and it grows and grows. It stops water moving round the human body right, makes limbs and bellies swell and sag with fluid. Now, when I look at that fat, sweaty sack, I think about it, and the voice sings of showing him what a real parasite can do.”

(MAG055) JORDAN: […] a couple of years ago, I was called in to deal with a wasps’ nest. […] The landlord’s name was Arthur Nolan. He was a short man with a constant scowl, thinning white hair and a well-chewed cigar. It looked like his denim shirt once contained quite an athletic build, but it long since settled. […] After he hit me with a look of disappointment, he nodded and began to walk down the hall. I followed him, desperate for answers, but he ignored my questions about what the hell was going on and kept walking down the stairs towards his flat. At one point, he shook his head and mumbled something about hoping it wouldn’t get this far, but he didn’t seem to be saying it to me.”

(Jane Prentiss gave her statement on February 23rd 2014, and Jordan Kennedy mentioned that he had met Arthur shortly after, in February or March 2014.)

Was there a prior “architecture” of the Fears where the Desolation and Corruption might have been lumped in together, through the name “Asag”…? The Hive, at least, sounded very, uh, eager to show how Special it was (to Arthur, in the same way that it was hissing at Beholding in Jane’s statement). Was Arthur tied to The Hive, given how he immolated himself right after Jordan “killed” the nest…? (Jon mentioned that they found Arthur’s body after the fire, in MAG032’s post-statement.) Was he supposed to be punished by getting consummated by it, and tried to throw Jane to it as fodder instead…? Given how there was apparently that Diego-Arthur rivalry and how Arthur (unlike Eugene) knew what had happened to Agnes at Hill Top Road, I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up finding a statement left by Arthur somewhere, when he was “demoted”…?

- Alright, so we got official confirmation that Hill Top Road initially belonged to The Web:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “The compromise we came to… was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of The Web, full of other children Agnes’s age […], though if we’d known exactly how powerful The Web was in that place, perhaps we would have reconsidered. […] it seems the fight scarred the place in a way far deeper than simple fire. A scar in reality, that I believe has since been compounded by the interferences of other powers.”

Sarah Baldwin had described the taxidermy shop as a “place of power” for The Stranger, Breekon had referred to the Institute as The Eye’s “pedestal”, Elias pointed out Ny-Ålesund as a “stronghold” of The Dark.

(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: There are, er… there, there are dozens of deliveries recorded here by Breekon and Hope. What were they delivering? What is the significance of this place? SARAH: Nothing, except what people give it. But they give it a lot, make it a place of power for us. Enough to keep certain items here.

(MAG128, Breekon) “That was the first time we saw what would become this place, The Eye’s Pedestal.”

(MAG135) ELIAS: I don’t know the details. Ny-Ålesund is a stronghold of The Dark, meaning I can’t see inside.

(Plus, potentially: somewhere in the sea and/or the graveyard Naomi encountered in MAG013 for The Lonely, given Carter Chilcott’s dreams in MAG057; Point Nemo for The End?; the remains of The Maria Fairchild encountered in MAG051 for The Vast?)

Interestingly, Eugene used “stronghold” and Elias referred to Ny-Ålesund for The Dark in the same way, so it seems to be the Right Word to describe the concept, no need to beat around the bush. Hill Top Road used to be Web, and, as we got a glimpse in MAG008, at least The Desolation (the glimpses of Agnes’s ghost, the burning) and most likely The Spiral (through Ivo Lensik, Father Edwin Burroughs, and/or Anya Villette) have been around that place – is it still powerful, but too chaotic to be definitely claimed…? Jon had said that he didn’t think it would be wise to go there (MAG114: “I’ve half a mind to just go down and have a look at it myself, but… I don’t know. Ever since it first came up I’ve felt like it would be… just a very bad idea.”), but. Was that genuine concern because he Learned From Poking Into Danger (which sounds ludicrous, it’s Jon we’re talking about), or the spiders nudging him to not go because ~obviously, he doesn’t want to go, he’s absolutely not being held by strings, what do you mean~.

- You fucked up a perfectly simple place, is what you did, Agnes. Look. You gave it reality bending.

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I was… not one of those assigned to watch our chosen one, so I can’t say much about exactly what happened within the walls of that house, but it seems the fight scarred the place in a way far deeper than simple fire. A scar in reality, that I believe has since been compounded by the interferences of other powers.”

Since then, there had been at least, uuh… Desolation and Spiral which have been spotted there (MAG008) + some timeline problems, with Ray and Agnes’s ghosts appearing. Anya Villette (MAG114) seemed to say that The Web might possibly be re-emerging? And there is the problem of Anya Villette herself – was the reality-getting-messed-up-around-her an effect of The Spiral, did she come from a parallel dimension, did she ever exist at all, etc.

- There is something fundamentally hilarious about the fact that the cultists of the Lightless Flame tried to guess how to raise Agnes and failed utterly, because she was… a child. No, wait, it was sad and heartbreaking.

But the fact that they sent her to Hill Top Road because it “was a stronghold of The Web, full of other children Agnes’s age” when they were late teenagers, and she was ten-to-eleven? What a bunch of idiots, holy Mew. (I’m sad for Agnes but also covering my face snickering at these idiots trying to raise a Messiah and having no idea how to deal with a child. No wonder she was “prone to fits of violent rage”, you weren’t giving her the environment she needed……………)

- Iiiiii don’t know what to think about Jack Barnabas. On the one hand:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “That stupid coffeeshop twit. I honestly don’t know why Arthur allowed it, or why Jude didn’t step in – she’s usually so jealous! But Agnes… [SIGH] Maybe Agnes asked them to leave him alone…! Or maybe they were just surprised by her interest in this… boring, unremarkable fool. […] We have allowed Jude free rein on what happens to the coffeeshop boy, though Agnes asked her… not to interfere. She has not yet harmed him, but I cannot imagine what is going through her mind. The misery, and pain, he has brought upon himself. For all her anger, she is not rash, and I fear her quiet consideration far more than I worry about her temper. It may be he lives the remainder of his natural life – but she will make sure he is never happy, and never without pain.”

Eugene was sure that he would be getting hell. And it is indeed what Jack lived… for a while, right after the events (March 2007):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “I lost almost everything after that. I never had much to begin with, and after I was let go at the café, I couldn’t afford to keep my home. They didn’t even try to pretend it wasn’t because my burned face would scare away customers. I’ve ended up living with my father again, who has been… understanding about the situation though… even he can’t bring himself to meet my eye most days.”

But Jon had also mentioned in his post-statement (January 2017) that his situation had gotten much better:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] Martin has been able to make contact with Mr. Barnabas by email. He’s apparently been doing much better in the years since his statement, having received some reasonably successful plastic surgery.

;; I had assumed it was a genuine improvement, I really hope it is… and not, like, a small respite before Jude comes after him again to strip him of what he managed to get back.

- Eugene was probably That One Guy With The Candles spotted by Jack Barnabas the night of Agnes’s death:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “They were all dressed in rough work clothes and wore severe expressions. One of them, a big guy with a shaved head, was holding an unlit lantern, and speaking to the others that I think was Spanish or Portuguese. Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundred of tiny spiders. None of them paid me any attention, and I was rapidly feeling like I was falling into something that I really didn’t want to.”

Diego Molina, Eugene Vanderstock and… probably Arthur Nolan with the spiders? Jon had identified Arthur in the group but without tangential proof (though MAG055 had associated him with burning and fire):

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] If the bald man with the lantern is as I suspect Diego Molina, it would indicate a link between his notable obsession with burning, and… Agnes, who apparently had not inconsiderable abilities in that area. I can’t help but wonder if Arthur Nolan, The Hive’s landlord, was one of the other members of that little group.

* Small fuuuunny thing: there had been a few mentions here and there that Agnes didn’t eat regular food, before Eugene confirmed that she needed another kind of sustenance:

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “She never came to church, though; never sat around the dinner table when it was uncovered.”

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “She never actually put any milk in it. She never even drank it. […] What was her life, that every Tuesday at 3’ in the afternoon, she came into the same café, and didn’t drink a black coffee? […] We went to the park a couple more times; had a meal in an Italian restaurant where she didn’t eat anything; we even went to see a film.”

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “I took foreign workers, mostly. Those with the fewest immediate connections to complicate matters, and the most hopeful dreams of what their life might be. They were the ones that provided Agnes the most satisfying nourishment. […] Agnes would take them to her small, empty flat, lay them on the floor and light them. Over the many hours these candles burned, she would crane over them, so Arthur tells me, inhaling all the agony, suffering, and loss from which they were created. Or he could’ve been lying to me, just keeping me busy with torture and murder so I didn’t get in the way of anything. I don’t think I’d have minded that, actually. At least, I felt useful.”

- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ABSOLUTELY ABSENT OF EUGENE’S STATEMENT REGARDING AGNES’S DEATH? SPIDERS. Probably-Arthur had been bringing some on the night of her death. There were SPIDERS in Jack’s flat (that Agnes’s presence burned):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “It was as I was doing this, I noticed kind of an odd smell? Like when you turn on an electric heater for the first time in a while and you get a whiff of all the burning dust. I looked up, and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke. It was weird, but I had more important things on my mind.”

And also, THE FUCKING TREE at Hill Top Road, which prompted Agnes’s death on November 23rd 2006. Eugene made it sound like Agnes had slowly come to the conclusion that she couldn’t carry out the ritual because of her “doubt” but… we know that her death was tied to the tree at Hill Top Road, the night Ivo Lensik was compelled to unroot it (and to free spiders):

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “[…] I heard Agnes gasp. I turned to see her gripping her chest as though in sudden pain, and she told me we had to go. I followed her as she… staggered out of the park and over to a phone booth where she made a panicked call. She said something about a tree falling, and that they… had to finish something. Then she hung up. She leaned on my arm as we walked back to her flat. […] Agnes turned to me and apologized, told me goodbye, and thank you. There was such a sense of finality to it that I felt like my heart stopped.”

Eugene knew that Hill Top Road had been a stronghold of The Web, but I’m not sure that he understood how much The Web might have possibly been still hanging around? It had struck me, in MAG067, how Jack… had suddenly decided to go talk to Agnes, and how he had described her:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “But she was so beautiful, she… she was tall, with long straight auburn hair, and these eyes that… when they looked at you, it didn’t feel like she was seeing you so much as… was trapping you. […] I was… drawn to her in a way I can’t… even explain. […] That was the moment I decided to try and talk to Agnes. Seeing her interact with someone else, even in such a weird way, unblocked something in my mind. The following Tuesday, when she came in and ordered her coffee, I asked her name. She looked at me in surprise and, for a second, I felt like I’d made a terrible mistake, but then she… told me, very matter-of-factly. And then I asked her out on a date. I don’t know how it happened, it just… tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. […] I worried I was boring her, but every time I looked over, she had that same expression on, which… by then I was pretty sure was a smile. I’d catch her eye and that feeling would flood though me – I… I still don’t know quite how to describe it, but whatever it was, it was powerful. […] I… I don’t know if I would have had it in me to resist. I just couldn’t avoid being drawn in, like a moth to the flame.”

Except for that last image, the way Agnes was attracting him… sounds super Webby to me? And as mentioned above, we know there were spiders in Jack’s flat. I don’t think that his crush was Web-induced, but his decision to go talk to her could perhaps have been due to a string…? (I’m really not sure but one my personal takes would be: The Web’s presence at Hill Top Road was diminished because of the tree, but it eroded over time and/or something made the seal weaken; the spiders used Jack’s crush and pushed him to confess, humouring Agnes and/or giving her a pretext to officialise that she wouldn’t do the ritual (making it sound like she couldn’t, rather than admitting that she didn’t want to); the spiders got Ivo Lensik to “kill” the tree, freeing The Web’s influence… and it was back as a contender for the ownership of the place. Possibly: it’s also what allowed Annabelle to be born as an avatar, a few years later, as Raymond Fielding had been dead for a long while and Neil Lagorio was growing old and incapacitated?)

- Regarding Agnes’s timeline, some bits are now a bit clearer, others still blurry:

* Agnes was sent to Hill Top Road to deal with The Web sometime around 1965, when Ronald Sinclair was turning 18 (he said he was born in the late 40s). Agnes was described as “younger than the other kids, maybe ten or eleven years old, and didn’t talk much”. She (playfully) freed Ronald from Raymond Fielding’s influence. (MAG059)

* The house got slowly depopulated until only Agnes and Raymond remained; Raymond disappeared when Agnes “must have been 18 or 19”, Agnes claiming that “he had gone away and that the house was hers” (Ivo Lensik, MAG008).

* In 1974, a five-year-old boy goes missing in the area. People are suspicious of Agnes, the house burns, Ray’s body is found, missing his right hand, and there is no sign of Agnes. (MAG008)

* Agnes apparently got stuck in the place (MAG139: “As far as we could tell, she had destroyed the place utterly. And yet, she remained bound to it, tied to it in some vital way. I knew, when Arthur told she had kept Raymond Fielding’s hand, that he was worried.”)

* In 1989, Jude met Agnes and the others. (MAG089)

* Gertrude did something tying Agnes to the place (MAG139, Eugene: “Jude simply flies into a rage when it’s brought up. I assume it’s why we were waiting, biding our time for decades, unable to bring our designs to any culmination. Jude had only just joined at the time”), Agnes kept Ray’s hand.

* Agnes began to frequent the Canyon Café in the 90s as, by November 2006, she had been visiting for “a decade and a half” (MAG067). She waited, they all waited.

* In autumn 2006, Jack Barnabas confessed to Agnes and they went on a few dates. (MAG067)

* On November 23rd 2006, Ivo Lensik uprooted the tree at Hill Top Road, freeing spiders from the apple buried under it; Agnes felt it, said that she had to finish something, gathered the members of the cult, and at her request, they hanged her, with Ray’s hand tied to her waist. (MAG008/MAG067/MAG139)

The Web binds and traps, so it might have been its way to get back at Agnes, before Gertrude did… something, fifteen years later? I would have assumed that Gertrude had struck around the time of Ray’s death, but no, Eugene said that it was around the time Jude had joined them, and Jude was absolutely crystal clear that she joined in 1989.

- … I’m still side-eying (ha) a loooot Agnes’s stance on the candles, given that Eugene never actually saw her inhaling them (it was more of a Jude thing, to like incense?), and that Arthur was the one to say she was using them. It sounds like there is room for her to… not have used them at all. And, actually, to not have been that much into serving the Desolation in the first place.

It’s impressive how much Agnes herself still remains a Mystery, despite the fact that we’ve now learned about her birth and how she was raised. Interestingly (and I really doubt it was a coincidence), all the titbits we got about her were people who were either infatuated with her (Jude, Jack), either barely knew her and were unable to decipher her (Ronald), either saw her as a symbol more than a person (Eugene). The only time we heard about what she might have thought or felt was through Jack, and very briefly:

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “She was talking about… some sort of job, and whether Agnes was going to be able to do it. At first, I thought it was a job interview, and… then she started talking about Agnes being released from something. Agnes just… said something softly, and shook her head. She looked sad, an expression I’d never seen on her face before. The other woman sighed, clearly unhappy with the answer, and stood up to leave. Before she went, she took out a brown paper envelope and handed it over; said that she’d give it to her now so she didn’t forget later. She called it “a collection”, and it looked like the envelope might have been full of money. Agnes put it in her jacket and returned to staring out the window, as her intimidating companion left with a frustrated expression.”

(And we still don’t know what was in that envelope! You could technically put small candles in an envelope but they would still be too big for a jacket…? (Were there spiders inside of it.) Was the other woman Jude, since it was “a collection” and Eugene mentioned she might come “to collect” after Gertrude…? Perhaps he wasn’t being metaphorical.)

(MAG067, Jack Barnabas) “We sat on a bench as the sun went down, watching the sky redden, and Agnes asked me a question. It was the first time she’d said anything more than a few words since we left my flat. [STATIC:] She asked me if I had a destiny. [/STATIC] I don’t need to tell you the question caught me off-guard. I don’t know if I’ve given the impression clearly enough yet, being a single guy in my early thirties still working the tiller to Sheffield Café, but I don’t really see myself as having much of a destiny. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe in destiny. I certainly don’t believe in God, and I feel that’s… kind of linked. So I told her this. She looked at me with the same sadness I had seen on her face before. “That must be nice,” she said, and went back to staring into the sunset.”

It sounds like Agnes might have been much more reluctant about The Lightless Flame’s ritual than Eugene wanted to believe…? Whether or not we get a statement left by Arthur, I’m pretty confident that we might have one left by Agnes herself – or possibly a recording of her talking with Gertrude. There have been lots of people talking about Agnes without us getting to hear Agnes’s voice and intentions directly, and I doubt that this has been a coincidence? Eugene explicitly said that Gertrude did something to Agnes – is it possible that they agreed on something together, with Agnes more or less trying to spare her extended family’s feelings while ensuring that she couldn’t get used by them…?

(It would sound super positive for the series, which tends to give characters darker sides too, but… Agnes’s story has sounded very tragic so far? Just like Gerry – being programmed to be Something by their own mother, getting involved with spooks and fundamentally twisted, unable to escape, until they would reach their bitter end?)

(- There is something very poetic in the idea that… we’ll see about it, but maybe Agnes, whose whole life was programmed, who had a “Destiny” inflicted to her, actually gained agency for the first time in the house of the Web, which is known for its mind-control?)

- … Okay, so the Fears/Dread Powers/Outer Gods definitely are able to touch people more easily through their dreams.

Jane mentioned her “crawling and many-legged” dreams (MAG032), Annabelle had reported “several unsettling dreams about spiders” (MAG069); there were Oliver’s dreams (MAG011, MAG121); Adelard mentioned his own nightmares (MAG113); Lucia was pursued by some (MAG130); it’s unclear how Garland Hillier got his “revelations” but it could have happened through his dreams (MAG134); Robert Smirke had seen the Fears, and ultimately Beholding, in his dreams (MAG138); and of course, there are Jon’s dreams, which… seem more active than most of the others (given that Daisy confirmed that she was seeing him back, and that the way Elias described them in MAG120, Jon was inflicting anguish on the victims and was identified as the cause of their suffering).

- Regarding how the Lightless Flame proceeded and how Manuela designed The Dark’s ritual… the overall guidelines seem to be to Believe In It Very Hard, And It Will Happen?

(MAG135, Manuela Dominguez) “Scientifically, it was nonsense of course. Dark energy and the like don’t work like that, not even remotely. But that wasn’t important. What mattered was that it felt like science, and that was all I needed. To do my work, to create the Black Star would need a parody, an aping mockery of science. But it would also need the deepest of darknesses. When I told Maxwell what I actually needed, he told me such a thing was impossible, but I insisted. And so he began his work on the Daedalus. […] My experiments continued largely uninterrupted, pushing the boundaries of light, darkness and fear. It was dangerous work and more than once, I got too close to the light and it almost destroyed me. But it didn’t. I could regale you with the technical terms or scientific disciplines I played with and rendered meaningless, but in the end all you actually need to know is that I succeeded. A tiny, terrible sun of the pitchest black, shining beautiful Darkness all around it.”

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “But a longing… is not the same thing as an instruction. We’d all been touched and warped by proximity to the holy Burning Fire, but none of us had any special knowledge, no matter what Diego claims he might have read. He wanted a Grand Inferno, a ritual of apocalyptic burning that would make the firebombing of Dresden look like a sparkler. Which sounded… amazing! […] And that’s when Arthur proposed his own plan: a Chosen One. We would create a messiah, the Flame Incarnate, one who could usher in this new world and lead us in what Diego called “The Scoured Earth”. […] Some objected, said that unless the child was conceived of the Flame, it could never be a true incarnation. But they had no idea of how such a conception could possibly even work, so it was decided that it would have to be enough to birth the child by fire. […] And in the centre of the pyre, a hollow, where Eileen was to lay. We prayed, and sacrificed, and anointed her body with holy oil and a crown of kindling. I protested the last one, felt we could do better than to ape the Christians, but I was shouted down.”

It looks like The Lightless Flame improvised… basically everything, by picking here and there symbols and ritualistic gestures that belonged to other cults – so the baffling thing is that it worked, and it’s probably because they thought/hoped/believed it would.

- Whiiiich directly raises the question of The Rite of the Watcher’s Crown, as Jon implicitly seemed to think – or, at least, he has been shown voicing some interrogations about why he was there.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Why were we chosen? Agnes was created – crafted with a specific purpose so finely tuned that even a grain of uncertainty threatened the entirety of her being. [CHORTLING] But I’m so full of doubt it feels like there’s no room for anything else, and… I’m sure Martin is the same…! Is there “destiny” here? B–bloodlines and… prophecies, or did we just… stumble into this? Maybe we’re the opposite of Agnes; maybe our doubts are exactly what we need. I–if that’s the case, I’m a… an amazing chosen one. … [LONG EXHALE] Don’t know how that would work, though.

And indeed: how is this ritual meant to work, if the Archivists tend to not be so keen to see the world warped…? Elias pointed out in MAG092 how fitting Jon is for the role and, indeed, his personality matches his powers, which seem to be… compensating for things he is lacking: compulsion means getting the truth out of people (while Jon is prone to paranoia), Knowing comes in handy given that he has so many questions, being able to get formatted statements help to satiate his curiosity… And precisely, because Jon is prone to doubt, he’ll push forward to know. But that doesn’t mean that he would be ready to doom the world and inflict fears on people, especially when Elias pushed him to stop another apocalypse (MAG102, “I should have thought preventing the horrific transformation of our world is not solely my concern!” YEAH, DEFINE WHAT IS AND ISN’T “HORRIFIC”, ELIAS). So what is it Elias saw in Jon that led him to think that Jon might be up for it, if his plans are indeed to carry out The Watcher’s Crown…?

I’m surprised that Jon would mention “bloodlines” in the list of potential reasons for them to be here, given how… it hasn’t been the case for any of the characters we’ve met so far, except Gerry – who, precisely, told Jon that blood didn’t matter (except if you’re a Lukas and use family structure as a tool to shape more believers)?

Overall, there is a non-systematic but still notable trend, amongst the Archival staff, to have encountered Spooks before joining the Institute in order to try and find out more about it:

(* Michael Shelley: lost a friend to The Spiral when he was young, which pushed him to join the Institute to understand what had happened, according to MAG101.)

* Jon had met The Web as a kid, probably never truly got away from it even though he did not die right away. Georgie highlighted how, personality-wise, he was perfect for the job:

(MAG093) GEORGIE: That does at least explain why he picked you. ARCHIVIST: Uh? GEORGIE: If your job is asking questions, I mean. You were always the one who pushed too far, and asked smart-arse, awkward questions. I always was surprised you never got punched.

* We heard Melanie’s recruitment live, though the reasons are still a bit unclear:

(MAG084) ELIAS: Do you want the job, Melanie? MELANIE: Oh… Um, I…Well, it’s, it’s rather sudden, but… er, I mean, sure. Yes. Yes, I do.

(MAG106) MELANIE: Threaten, then. I’ve got nothing. ELIAS: That’s… almost true. Your life is indeed shockingly absent of any meaningful connections. That’s actually one of the reasons I chose you for this job.

(Melanie had had various Spooky encounters at this point: she witnessed a fight between agents of the Stranger and of the… Flesh? Slaughter? (MAG028), got wounded on the shoulder by a Slaughter ghost (MAG076), and was already infected by a bullet from another Slaugher ghost (MAG117) when Elias recruited her. Static was even heard when he was talking to her, so he definitely did something, whether it was… seeing the bullet, or compelling her to think about the reasons for accepting? But why did he want her in the team – was it because she was leaning towards Beholding, in her quest for seeing things that could destroy her/being a witness overall/working with cameras and recording supernatural events? Was it because of the Slaughter wounds, set-up for Jon?)

* Same for Basira and Daisy: officially, Elias needed to neutralise Daisy and to be able to use her “competences” in dealing with Spooks, hence the trapping of Basira as blackmail material. Both had large amounts of Spooky encounters beforehand, as Section 31-signee officers (including the showdown with Rayner). Given recent development, it’s possible that Elias mostly just wanted Basira in the team, but her being good at investigating and “suit[ing] the academic life” (MAG102) might also just have been a happy coincidence – unlike the other Beholding folks, Basira has demonstrated that she’s able to call things quit when she is done with them, such as with her quitting the police.

* It’s unclear whether Jon had personally asked Sasha to be transferred to the Archives when he was appointed as Head Archivist (he liked Sasha a lot! She was getting a free pass on everything!). He did mention that “her working here seems the natural progression of her lifelong interest in the paranormal (MAG048), but it’s unclear whether that bit was Sasha-Sasha… or something rewritten by the Not!Them ;; (Since from what we knew it season 1, Sasha was pretty short on money and even hated Artefact Storage when she was working there but “couldn’t afford to quit”… so it might be that the real Sasha had just been desperate for a job, like Martin.)

* We know, however, quite a lot about Tim: he followed Danny and became an unwilling spectator to Grimaldi/Nikola’s skinning and dancing; he joined the Institute shortly afterwards in order to try and track down the Circus and get answers about what had happened to his brother (he even became a Smirke specialist in just two years!). We know that Jon specifically asked him to come with him to the Archives:

(MAG065) TIM: No. No, you listen for once. I was fine in research, happy. Then you asked me to be transferred here, and suddenly it’s all monsters and killers and secret passages, oh my!

(Plus, the whole thing with how he hadn’t managed to move but only watch in the Covent Garden theatre (MAG104) sounded verrryy much like Jon watching his bully disappear behind the door. Watching until the end, unable to do anything to stop events – but not closing their eyes either. Beholding-compatible.)

* AND MARTIN IS STILL OUR BIG MYSTERY, but of all things, we know that Elias was the one to interview him when he was applied with a fake CV, which UHOH.

(MAG056) MARTIN: I… … I lied on my CV. ARCHIVIST: … What? MARTIN: I don’t have a Master’s in parapsychology, I don’t even have a degree. […] So I… I just kinda started to lie on my applications, sending them out to just about anywhere. For some reason, my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and, and then a job here. M–most of my employment details are made up, I’m only 29!

(Unclear whether this happened when Martin was 17 or a little later, but he was at any rate already employed at the Institute in 2009, at age 22.) More specifically about working in the Archives, it doesn’t sound like Jon asked Martin to follow him there – firstly, Jon was super dismissive of him in season 1, and secondly, there was Martin’s awkward silence when he and Tim discussed that:

(MAG098) MARTIN: […] [Jon] said he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Like, y’know, it’s his fault. TIM: Isn’t it? MARTIN: No! No, it isn’t! I mean, you heard Elias… We never really stood a chance. TIM: Yeah. Maybe. But Elias wasn’t actually the one who offered me the job down here. MARTIN: No, I– Sure. …

So either he volunteered, either he might have been sent down there by Elias… which just raises another “why”. It was a bit weird how Jon, in MAG139, immediately segued from Martin to the question of why they had been “chosen” to be there (why did thinking about Martin prompt that?), but on the other hand, it’s still an enigma why Elias hired Martin. Could be that everything was absolutely accidental, could be the Spiders at work, could be that Elias did have specific plans about Martin (because Elias didn’t especially like Martin…? He’s always very casually talking him down), who knows.

*SHAKES ELIAS AGAIN, SPIT WHAT YOU KNOW YOU INSUFFERABLE GRINNING EX-HEAD*

(Other option of why they were chosen: their isolation. Jon’s parents died when he was a kid, and his grandmother died around the time he began working at the Institute, in 2012; Tim’s only family member mentioned was his brother, who had died before he joined the Institute; Martin’s only family member mentioned around him was his mother, and given that he had to care for her when he was only 17, it is implied that he might not have had many family members around or close; Basira only mentioned her father, and in past tense; Melanie’s parents are both dead and Elias pointed out she didn’t have any real anchor anymore; Daisy’s “last connection to humanity” was stated to be Basira. Could be Elias being a vulture, or a bit of classism, targeting people in need/from poor upbringings, assuming that they would be more influenceable and easy to handle?)

- À propos of Martin, this episode also reminded of One Big Important Question:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “And that’s when Arthur proposed his own plan: a Chosen One. We would create a messiah, the Flame Incarnate […]. When we finally decided, it was Eileen Montague who came forward as a volunteer. She was five months pregnant at the time, and had already taken care of the father in the usual manner of our little congregation. […] We baptized her with the boiling water of Asag and named her… “Agnes”, as had been her mother’s final request.”

IS THERE A SINGLE GOOD MOTHER IN TMA. I’m snorting and weeping over the fact that:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: […] [Jack Barnabas] was unable to provide much more information on the above but, upon Martin’s asking if Agnes had mentioned her childhood at all, he did recall her briefly alluding to being adopted.

L-O-L YES, SHE WAS ADOPTED… by so many different people. By the cult of the Lightless Flame after her birth, and then by Raymond Fielding (kind of) when they sent her off to fight the Spiders as a kid.

We don’t have Stellar Parenting overall, very true, but I can still think of a few fathers who sacrificed themselves to save a child – Jason North was implied to have immolated himself to save his son from his own curse in MAG037, and YEAH OKAY, ROBERT MONTAUK WAS A SERIAL KILLER but he was also good towards Julia in MAG009 (and we will probably hear a bit more about their family’s story, about Julia’s mother… but I had gotten the feeling that Robert probably did what he did in order to avenge his wife and/or to protect Julia from the same fate?). Plus, Gerry mentioned that he thinks that his father might have wanted to help raise, him before Mary decided to get rid of the problem. Not role models, sure, but not-failing-as-parents. Meanwhile, almost every time we see a mother or hear about her feelings (ie, excluding for example Andrea Nunis’s mother, who was an anchor to her, but who wasn’t a character in herself), it’s Bad News. As MAG139 demonstrated, Agnes’s mother imposed the Destiny on her daughter before she was even born. See also: Mary friggin’ Keay to Gerry, and not-his-mother-but-was-apparently-getting-a-kick-out-of-being-mistaken-for-it Gertrude. Do I need to mention Martin’s mother.

It’s a great subversion of the idea that mothers are inherently nurturing and kind but they’re also… the Rarest Species in this series, uh.

- Hey hey hey, alright, I deserve tomatoes to be thrown at me, but on the subject of Martin Lukas Keay von Closen Son Of Puppets Blackwood. So. Martin and spiders have a loving relationship, but this episode also reminded me that another of his loves is also…

(MAG117) MARTIN: This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!

(MAG118) ELIAS: Tell me what you’re doing, and why. MARTIN: I just thought I’d, y’know, drop a couple of ideas in the old suggestion box! Turns out my suggestion is… fire! [LIGHTER ON]

… arson, so on the list of “what the heck is Martin Blackwood”, what about Unholy Grandchild of Web and Desolation or something through his dad.)

- Gertrude’s death was sneakily pushed back to the forefront again:

(MAG139, Eugene Vanderstock) “And he’s probably right. Just as well you are not here. Smart move on your part. But they always are, aren’t they? Smart moves. Someday, you’re gonna push your luck too far, and when you do… Well, you just better hope it isn’t Jude who comes to collect. […] As for you… Whatever you did, and whatever protection it might have afforded you is severed, with Agnes’s death. Arthur has told us not to harm you yet, but this whole thing has really rather weakened his authority, and many of us are now looking towards Diego for leadership. But we shall see, I suppose. I hope, when it is time, we may burn you forever, Gertrude.

[…] ARCHIVIST: […] Nice to see Gertrude [EXHALE] also used to get a lot of threats. So far it doesn’t seem that any went… desperately well. Except for Elias, of course. But he didn’t threaten, did he? He just… did it.

And I still feel like we might be missing a few things about the circumstances surrounding it – if Gertrude was pursued by so many people and so cautious about it, how come Elias managed to get rid of her in the end…? Is it because he was kind of a blind spot (ha) and she had been underestimating him…? Is it because, so focused on Spooks, she didn’t consider mundane means…? But she was well-aware of the power of regular, non-paranormal weapons! She used so many explosives…

I wonder if the Reminder that Gertrude had a long list of would-be killers, that she had managed to avoid for so long until Elias got to her, is supposed to mean that we’ll hear more about the Elias-Gertrude relationship… Oliver had mentioned that she had many things going after her, in MAG121; Peter mentioned that he wouldn’t have been against offing her himself in MAG134; and now, again, we’re getting another mention in MAG139…

- Jon is still gathering information about past rituals and we can add another name for the Desolation: “The Scoured Earth”, which should have been carried out by Agnes… and was left on standby and/or cancelled entirely for this round. We’re only missing the name and description for The Lonely (though we know from MAG134 that Gertrude successfully derailed it already), The Corruption (was it whatever Jane tried against the Institute?), and everything about The Vast. Jon didn’t say how and where and why he found Eugene’s statement in particular: whether he was drawn to this one, or found it cobwebs-wrapped, or Knew he had to read it?

(And The Corruption still hasn’t had any statement in season 4! Oh worms.)

- Jon gave us updates on the Archival staff, and it is various shades of sob. Chronologically, by order of mentions:

* Basira still hasn’t spilled the beannnns ;_;

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: The others are doing… better, I think. Basira’s busy doing research for something secretive, unsurprisingly. But she seems to be adjusting to, uh… the new Daisy.

So, on the one hand: Basira is still Hiding Everything from Jon… but on the other hand, it sounds like it’s going better between her and Daisy? … but WELP, if their relationship is pacifying, it means that it’s becoming Something That Could Be Taken Away from us and from them / it’s giving Jonny an opportunity to hurt us a whole lot if one of them dies. Let me be happy about them, gdi?!

* I Have Reclamations To Make About Jon’s mentions of Daisy:

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: I actually like Daisy now, which is a… really weird feeling. [INHALE]

Like, on the one hand, I get that becoming kind of bff with Daisy is throwing you off, Jon, but don’t you dare lie to Us/The Tape Recorder: you liked Daisy and sharing your fantastic shitty sense of humour with her, I Have Receipts:

(MAG096) DAISY: Come on. Before the Met get here. ARCHIVIST: Whatever you say~ DAISY: And wipe that grin off your face.

Plus, you’ve been listening to THE ARCHERS in her company, probably to indulge her, and you went out for drinks with her; there are limits to pity, you’ve been way into Friendship territory for a while now, don’t try to bluff!! :w

Also, a bit saddened that he’s describing her as “the new Daisy” because… it doesn’t really seem accurate? According to Daisy, this was her all along/her true self, and we indeed could see glimpses of it in season 3, like how she gladly accepted the nickname “Daisy” (MAG082, Elias: “Everyone calls me Daisy. I like that because it sounds so gentle […] It makes me feel strong, to know that the soft nickname everyone calls me comes from a bloody wound.”) (But at the same time… ;; It’s very easy to picture Elias waltzing in at some point to highlight that ahah, but the rabid dog was the real you all along, too…)

* Melanie is “quiet”.

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Melanie’s quiet, but I think therapy’s helping.

And given that the identity of her therapist is still undetermined, I’m filled with dread… The Web is known for making people come off as “quiet”……………

(MAG059, Ronald Sinclair) “The other kids living there were the same – at least, I think they were. I remember them being kind of dull, not that they were… boring, exactly, […] but there was something about them, as though… there were some things that they said and did without anything behind them. Occasionally there would be flashes of something. […] mostly they were quiet, almost placid. I’m sure they’d have said the same things about me, but at the time, nothing seemed amiss. I did what I did because it was what I was supposed to do, and it never struck me to question it. I’m not sure I really recognise who I became while living at that house.”

Please, be just fine and healing, Melanie…? ;;

* Helen is… *LOUD SOB*

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: Haven’t seen Helen much. The door is… sometimes there, sometimes not. … I haven’t knocked. I’m never going to trust it. Trust… her. … Trust it. [DRY EXHALE] And I shouldn’t. Whatever its relationship to the person who was or is Helen… assuming that I can ever know its motivations is a mistake.

Damniiiiiiiiiiiiiit… Extra-aouch that Helen directly told Jon that she wasn’t super-fond of the “it” in MAG131 (and given how Melanie, who seems to be the closest to Helen?, used “she”), and that Jon is… very pointedly choosing to still using “It” anyway after some hesitation (reflex to call The Distortion “it”, then remembering his discussion with Helen and going for “she”, then reaffirming his distrust with “it”?).

I’m really not surprised that Jon is having trouble with her door (Jon has a History of doors that should stay closed, and specifically got bad experiences with Michael’s), I’m saddened that he is choosing to not trust Helen, although… I can imagine why. But is it through an intrinsically personal decision (The Distortion is supposed to lie and deceive; maybe it’s currently trustworthy only because of his lack of trust? Is it because he still feels guilty over what happened to the human Helen Richardson, who got snatched right before him? Is it because he still resents Michael?), or is it also because of the Beholding in him – pushing him to not trust what he can’t know…?

I wonder how Helen being around will end up causing harm (because surely, it will): will it be because Jon will finally decide to trust her because he has no choice left, and immediately be given reason to regret? Is it because Jon will adamantly refuse to trust her when she could be preventing another disaster…?

* And theeeeeeeeeeeeen…

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: And that just leaves Martin, which…

[SAD PAUSE OF ARCHIVIST DESPERATELY PINING] Jon, p l z. If you’re beginning to reach Martin Level of concern/pining/worrying, then Oh No.

(MAG117) MARTIN: I suppose you can get used to anything, but… [PAUSE] It feels different. I need them to be safe. I need him to be okay. … So–sorry, hum. I–I’m not afraid for me, though. Isn’t that weird…? […] I just… really hope everyone makes it back. … And I want to win on my own. Oh, and I hope the world doesn’t end. Obviously. [SIGH] Just… [SIGH] Just don't die, Jon. … O–or Tim, or Basira, or… Daisy, I guess. Just… just everyone please, make it back home…?

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] I’m just worried about Martin. … Christ… Every other Avatar gets to have their feelings… burned right out of them, but me? I’ve… just got to sit in mine. … I know he said he had everything under control. I need… to trust him; whatever he’s doing with Peter, he’s… he knows what he’s doing. Probably. I just– … [VERY FAST] I need him to be okay. I just do.

(I’m still not sure whether the “I need him to be okay” was a conscious reference to MAG117 from him, or just a coincidence to convey that these two tragic idiots are reaching the same point independently. We have clues that Jon had heard Tim’s testament from that episode, potentially Melanie’s as well since she gave her statement about the Ghost Bullet; but they weren’t dated from the same day, and not on the same tapes if the official description (“A-F”) is any indication, so…)

Anyway. Please, Jon, don’t wish for your feelings to disappear. There is something very delicious and entertaining about Jon complaining that he has FEELINGS, URK, IT SUCKS, but at the same time, This Is That Kind Of Series. Please, enjoy your sad pining and your concern and your worrying, Jon. (;wwwwwwwww; for Jon still trying to put some reason in his own mind; explaining what is the problem, and at the same time still holding to his decision to trust Martin…)

(- There was something very… “SO WHO IS HAVING A CRUSH, NOW, UH.” with that Martin mention, given that Eugene’s statement referred to Jack Barnabas and… back in MAG067, Jon hadn’t been fundamentally kind towards the latter’s story:

(MAG067) ARCHIVIST: Statement of Jack Barnabas, regarding a short-lived courtship with Agnes Montague in the autumn of 2006. […] A rather different perspective on the woman known as Agnes Montague or… Agnes Fielding, depending on who you ask. Although hardly a reliable account, steeped as it is in messy obsessions and confusion.

HEY JON, WHAT’S GOOD, and who is the one pining, now.

(Although of course, more seriously: there is kind of an echo between Jack and Agnes, and Martin and Jon…? Someone Normal harbouring feelings for an avatar who was Chosen and burdened with a specific role in their little society and who had met The Web in their youth, and after a while, the avatar growing fondness in return – though the nature of their feelings is unclear. In Jon’s case, not sure whether his worries and concern for Martin are derailing anything Beholding-related or… just part of the Bigger Plan. Though Jack&Agnes, and Martin&Jon, could also all be… part of The Web’s plans overall. Too many spiders.))

(Following: bits typed down before MAG140 was released:)

- Big question is what happened at the end of the episode exactly?

(MAG139) ARCHIVIST: … If I… Knew… what his plan was… If I knew what Peter was doing, if I just– [WHISPERING] … Can I…? [LOW RUMBLING SOUND, STATIC RISES] [CRIES OF PAIN] [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION STEADILY RISING] [NOISE OF SOMETHING-OR-JON FALLING] [SQUEAL OF DISTORTION DECREASES] [MUMBLING] End… E–end recording…! [CLICK.]

1°) See, Jon: assuming you’re on a first name basis with “Peter” is a bad idea, and karma went right back at you.

2°) Re: the noise of something falling. Was it Jon falling off his chair AGAIN, JON, YOU ALREADY DID THAT IN MAG128. Did Jon manage to get a concussion by trying to Know too hard. Does it count as his Lonely scar. Is Elias laughing hysterically in his cell because Jon is such an Embarrassment.

3°) Okay, so, unlike the other times Jon got to Know about something or purposely used that power… there was, on top of the usual static, Peter’s trademark “squeal of distortion” (I am using the way the official transcript introduced it, in MAG100, and it’s been the same sound surrounding Peter’s appearances since then). So, whatever happened was definitely Lonely-related, but: was it because Jon can’t pierce through the Lonely, in the same way he didn’t manage to peak through The Dark in MAG135? Was it Peter hiding himself a bit deeper in reaction to Jon’s attempt, feeling (or SEEING, if he was… right in the room with Jon) what Jon was trying to do? … Another possibility is that it was that Jon couldn’t access Martin because of MARTIN himself (ie: he’s a bit too much into the Lonely, or worse… is beginning to use Lonely powers), but I’m leaning towards Peter here. With The Dark and now The Lonely, that makes a lot of Power Walls that Jon isn’t yet able to bypass…

4°) Did Jon manage to Know something through the experience, or… not at all? I got the impression that he had just hit the wall of squealing sounds, bounced back, and… didn’t get anything at all.

5°) Obligatory “JON used Beholding powers! JON’s attack missed. JON hurt himself in his confusion. JON fainted!” joke here.

Speculation for MAG140 based on the title (20/05/19):

A PRETTY ONE, and uuuuh, smells of… alchemy? JOHN FLAMSTEED? So either about another way of interpreting the powers before Smirke, in general (Gerry had put them on the same level in MAG111), either, more specifically… about The Dark, and its previous ritual attempt (and then, could also be about Edmond Halley, since Basira had linked the two in MAG108)? Or could be about The Vast? Second meaning… could be about a ~sky~, so Basira explaining her current activities/researches…? Will she finally tell Jon about the fact that The Dark is potentially planning something in Svalbard…?

(17/06/19: AHAHAHA sob.)

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #tma liveblog #tma season 4 #the magnus archives #mag139 #long post/#tma spoilers/

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psychospeak-blog · 6 years

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Won’t Go Slowly // 2

A/N: I promise I’m working on other stuff, too. Just slightly addicted to this series at the moment.

Being in Tyler's house alone was weird.

Not that you were alone, not really, with three large dogs practically constantly surrounding you.

But it was weird to be there in the quiet, especially because 90% of the time you were over there, there was at least one other person hanging around, too, whether it was someone actually there to hang out with him , or if it was a friend just crashing at his place.

You'd actually stayed there a few times on your own though, when you were watching the dogs. Mostly because it was just easier. But also because, as he claimed, he didn't want them destroying your place.

You'd protested that they'd never destroyed anything in their life, but he claimed that they had, you just hadn't seen it. Which seemed doubtful, but you also hadn't met any of them until they were a few months old, so you supposed it was possible. And, he also pointed out that the dog hair alone was a mess. You hadn't told him that even though they'd never even been in your house, you frequently pulled their hair out of your vacuum, because Lab hair was so insane that it literally got embedded in your clothing.

It was a small price to pay, really, though.

You typically had no problem making yourself at home when he was there - grabbing yourself a blanket if you were cold, or helping yourself to a drink. But, somehow, it felt different when you were there alone. In the quiet. The first time you'd stayed there alone, you'd actually brought yourself meals over, and he came home and questioned you as to why there was no food missing, laughing when you said you already had food made, so you just brought it over. After that, you'd gradually gotten more comfortable. This time, though, you'd spent the first night there hunkered up with all three dogs in his guest room, ending up watching a comedy special on Netflix, followed by an episode of Stephen Colbert.

You thankfully got off work early on Friday. You worked as a an academic advisor at The University of Toronto and, since it was nearing the end of the semester, your work load was really cut down quite a bit. You still worked throughout the summer, of course, as there were summer students and incoming freshmen, but it wasn't as constant and was also super flexible. Which was kind of convenient because it pretty much synced up with when Tyler would be back, so you tended to spend a lot of time together in the summer.

When you got back to his place on Friday, you pretty much immediately took all the dogs for a long, leisurely walk, enjoying the shade and quiet of a local park. When you got back to his place, you decided to bake muffins, especially considering you were definately not cooking tonight. All of the dogs had gone to sleep except for Gerry, who kept running around and dropping your all over the floor, and you were doing your best to not trip over him or any of the toys while trying to find the ingredients you needed. Occasionally you picked up a you, tossing it away so he'd go to chase it before coming back.

You'd turned on "Throwback Hip Hop Dance Party on Spotify, which was your go-to playlist for dancing and baking, and had sung along to "Golddigger" as you mixed the dry ingredients. "Drop It Like It's Hot" came on next, and you were, well, dropping it like it's hot, squatted down down on the floor, Gerry's front paws in your hands, dancing with him as you sung along. And then a pair of male legs came right in front of your eyesight and you screamed, loudly, the rest of the dogs coming running in from the other room barking at the same time you looked up to see that the legs were attached to Tyler's dad. "Shh....boys!" you yelled, but it wasn't really effective over the loud music. All three of them were barking, running around around the kitchen and looking around for a threat, sniffing Tyler's dad skeptically. You got knocked over by the force of them around you, falling back onto your butt, reaching up to the counter for your phone and shutting the music off.

"Shh...it's okay," you said, your voice calm this time, trying to pet them all at once, the hair on the back of their neck standing up and their tails poised, ready for action. "It's okay, I'm okay."

Two tongues licked your face at once, and then you were pushed down onto the kitchen floor, laying on your back with paws stepping all over you and noses in your face, and on your shoulders, as if investigating that you were indeed, alright. Finally, you managed to get what had to be at least 250 pounds of dog off you, sitting up and raising yourself to your feet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said with a laugh, looking at your face closely, "Tyler didn't tell you I was coming, did he?"

"Nope," you said trying to force the redness from your cheeks with your mind, "Which means it's his fault, not yours."

He laughed again, holding up what was in his hands, "I was coming to do something on the pool. Is that alright?" He asked the question like it was your house he was coming to. "Yeah, of course," you said, shrugging.

He went outside, and you went back to your baking, turning your music back on, but a little quieter this time, and you kept your dance moves more G-rated this time. He came back in as you were taking the muffins out of the oven, setting them on the cooling rack, and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. "Everything alright?"

"Yep," he said easily, "Smells good in here." You smiled, "You should take a couple with you."

"Oh, that's okay. You must have worked hard on them." "I can't eat them all myself," you replied honestly. "And they're best when they're warm."

You sent him off with a couple in a plastic baggie, and then ordered your pizza. The night went much like the last, other than the half hour you spent debating whether you should download Tinder or Bumble to your phone again. And then the 15 minutes you spent trying to determine whether Tyler would care if you borrowed his dogs for a selfie to use as your profile picture to show that you were a dog person.

The following afternoon, you were chopping vegetables, because you'd finally decided to get your life together and meal prep seriously (plus Tyler's knives were sharper than yours, so the process went much quicker). But you kept getting this twinge of pain in your side. At first, you thought it was because you took all three dogs for a run this morning, which was not as pleasant as it sounded, and assumed you pulled something. But the pain continued to build and build until it morphed into something familiar that you couldn't ignore any longer.

You called Tyler's Mom as you were cleaning up your the kitchen, stopping every few minutes to bend over, hand clutched at you side, finally stopping and driving yourself to the hospital.

************** You rolled to your side as you heard movement. It was so dark in your bedroom that you didn't know what time of day it was, and assumed it must be your sister coming over to stay with you for the night. You heard your bedroom door open and shut your eyes, pretending to sleep. There was a stumbled, followed by a "shit."

"Tyler?" you asked, opening one eye, your hand across your forehead, seeing him bent over, rubbing his knee where it had likely collided with your dresser. "Geez, you Seguin men really like to sneak up on people." He laughed. "Yeah, I was really disappointed he didn't have any video footage of that," he said.

You rolled a little more to the other side of the bed, pulling the blankets up tight around you, realizing that you were wearing pyjamas, and hadn't brushed your hair or showered for three days. "What are you even doing here?" "My mom said you were sick," he stepped closer to the bed, " I brought popsicles."

You smiled weakly, thinking that he'd assumed you had strep throat, which you seemed to get once a year, and always knocked you out for a couple of days. You frowned a little more, shifting onto your side, "how'd you even get in here?" "You gave me a key, remember?"

You were thinking that you hadn't, but then you recalled that you had given him a key, because he was supposed to take care of your mail when you went to Europe after you graduated with your Bachelor's degree. Which was four years ago. "I thought you said you lost it." He shrugged, "I found it."

" Oh," you said quietly, and let your eyes slide shut, like an extended blink. Before you could even fully open your eyes, you felt your bed dip as Tyler pressed his arm on it, leaning over like he was going to ask you something and you made a little noise of pain, seeing him frown with a concerned look on his face as you winced, rolling over away from him. "That is not something you do to someone who just had surgery," you moaned.

You heard him something but couldn't decipher it, and then felt his hand on your shoulder for a brief second like he want to roll you back over, but thought better of it. "You had surge

ry?" He asked, disbelief growing in his voice with each word he spoke. "Yeah," you responded, and you felt him sit down gently on the edge of your bed, near your feet. " Why...why didn't you call me?"

"I called your Mom," you said. You'd even double checked as soon as you could that she had the dogs. She'd even texted you to offer to bring you something, but you assured her you were all set.

He sighed heavily, "I didn't mean about the dogs, I meant about you."

"You weren't even here, what were you going to do?" "I could have come home," he said, enunciating each word. "You shouldn't be alone."

" I'm not alone." He looked around the room dramatically, "You look pretty alone to me."

It should have been funny. But he looked- and sounded- pissed off. And you didn't have the energy to deal with him pissed off right now.

"My mom stayed with me for two days," you said, "she just left this morning. And my sister is coming over after work to stay with me tonight."

His face seemed to relax a little at that, and you felt his hand over your leg through the blanket, giving your ankle a little squeeze. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" You shook your head, "It was just laparoscopic. It's just kind if tender if I move the wrong way."

He pursed his lips, still looking down at you, "Was it what you had in high school?" "Yep," you said softly. You'd had a similar procedure then, when you where first told you'd had endometriosis.

He laid down softly on his side on the bed next to you then, his head propped up on his hand looking at you seriously. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm," you murmured, but his eyes will still searching yours for a moment, until the alarm on your phone started blaring from your nightstand, and you groaned at the loud noise. Tyler got up from the bed, and a second later the annoying noise stopped.

"I need to take my pain meds," you said, easing yourself up on to your elbows. "I'll get them," he said, "where are they?"

You wanted to argue - you really did - because, of course you could get them yourself. But you were also really tired, so you just gave in. "In the kitchen." He turned to leave and you laid back down on your back, head against the pillows. "Tyler?" "Hmm?" "I think they're on the counter by the fridge."

"'K," he said, and you shut your eyes again, recalling what had happened back in high school, the last time you'd been recovering from surgery. For some reason this guy, Chris, had apparently started a rumour that you'd had an abortion, which was absurd, really. He'd always been pretty annoying, and was totally into Kirsten, which he didn't even hide. But, apparently, Tyler had completed decked him as Kirsten told you, since you weren't there to see it anyways. You were pretty certain that he was suspended for a week, and grounded for a month. You weren't entirely sure if he was just looking for a reason to punch the guy and finally found it, or if he actually morally objected to this guy and was trying to set him straight, but now you couldn't figure out why he hadn't just told his mom what had happened. Surely she would have at least reduced his punishment. And you knew that being grounded had pissed him off, because you very clearly remembered him complaining about it every lunch hour, between classes, and during classes.

Now, though, Tyler came back into your bedroom. He had a glass of what looked like juice in one hand, your stainless steel water bottle shoved under his arm. You sat up again, holding out your hand, and he pressed the pill into it. You popped it into your mouth, taking the glass of juice from his hand, swallowing the pill quickly. You didn't even have time to think about setting it on the nightstand, because he'd already taken it from you, setting it there next to the water bottle he must have set there already.

"Have you eaten today?" he asked, as you were fixing the pillows to lay back down on your back. "Yes," you answered honestly. Your mom had made you eat some oatmeal this morning before she'd left, and you'd also had a couple of chocolates from the box your good friend, Becca, had dropped by the hospital.

"Do you want me to get you a popsicle?" "No," you said, shutting your eyes, and then adding, "thanks."

You opened your eyes again and he was still just standing there, and you couldn't figure out why he wasn't just leaving.

"Do you want me to help you onto the couch?" he asked, "We could watch a movie or TV or something."

You shook your head, running your hand over your face. "I just want to sleep." He was shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. "Yeah, okay. So, I'll just be in the living room, so just yell if you need anything." "What? Tyler, you don't have to stay."

"It's no big deal. I'll just hang out until your sister gets here." "I'm fine," you made clear, "do you really think my mom wouldn't be here if I wasn't?"

He was looking down at you, a wrinkle appearing in the middle of his forehead, running his hand through his hair quickly, "Like you've never helped me after I had surgery."

"You would be helping because I just want to be alone," you croaked, and then took a deep, albeit shaky breath, "Seriously, I just want to sleep. And these pills knock me out anyways."

He said something, and you think it was "yeah" or "okay" but it could have been your name, and your eyes felt both way too try and way too watery, and all you wanted to do was shut them and go back to sleep. And you didn't want anyone there watching you or hovering over you or asking if you were okay.

To set your point straight, you pulled the covers, hard over your shoulder, rolling away so you were facing the wall, turning your back to him and shutting your eyes and trying not to think of anything. Finally, you heard the front door shut and, knowing that he left, let out the breath you had been holding, letting the pills make you wonderfully drowsy.

You woke again in a daze, like you had been every couple hours, but this time you heard snoring and your bed felt way too heavy and warm, and you weren't exactly sure where you were. You opened your eyes tentatively to see Marshall laying down by your feet and you let out a little laugh in disbelief. You turned over, reaching for the water bottle that was on your nightstand, and piece of paper covered with an unmistakable scrawl set under it and you read it as you took a few sips. I left him food and water in the kitchen. Call me if he starts being a shit. I'm serious. You smiled, setting everything back onto your nightstand and sitting up, rubbing your knuckles along the dog's snout until he opened his eyes, staring back at you. You patted the bed next to you as you laid back down, and Marshall got up, turning in a circle before curling up against chest. You were still smiling as you set your head back down against your pillows, resting your arm over him and petting him absentmindedly, running fingers through his fur as you fell back to sleep.

#wont go slowly #series #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine

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saras-almanac · 6 years

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Promise (Robert & Liv)

So... like this random canon divergence keeps throwing little scenes at me and this is that result. It’s basically if Robert was involved a bit in Liv’s storyline post Valentine’s day but without Aaron and Robert getting back together. Their reunion is absolutely inevitable, but I think that the main reason Aaron went it for that night was because he was terrified that Robert was going to find someone and he’d be too late. This divergence is basically self-indulgent Rob and Liv scenes because I love their relationship so much. (And no matter what Liv says to Robert, there’s no way she opened up to Alex about anything. I just do not buy that.) This takes place the day after Liv’s birthday party (20 Feb 18 episode).

Robert stumbles upon Liv drinking alone and they sort of have a heart to heart about their shared experiences. (TW mentions of Gaby outing Liv and Robert being outed)

Robert just needed to clear his head a bit, so he went out for a walk. Rebecca was back at Vic’s, Lachlan was acting strange, and Robert’s barely had any sleep for weeks. And now, every time he has a second to think, his mind immediately goes back to Valentine’s and the kiss that almost was.

What would have happened if Robert hadn’t hesitated? Aaron had been the one to lean in first. Despite what Vic says, Robert knew what was happening. Or what almost happened. It wasn’t just in his head.

But apparently, it was just a momentary lapse with Aaron.

It hurt. Even after all this time, it still hurt. No less than you deserve.

Robert glanced around when he heard a noise. Something inside the cricket pavilion. Someone.

“Hello?” Robert called as he approached. No answer. He pushed his way inside and found Liv sat on the floor with an empty vodka bottle. “Liv?”

“Of course it’s you,” Liv said quietly. “Get lost, Rob.”

“Does Aaron know you’re here?”

“He doesn’t have to know every detail of my life, all right?!” Liv set the bottle to the side.

“All right,” Robert agreed. He crossed the room to take a seat near her. “What’s brought this on, then?”

“Like you haven’t heard.”

“I’ve been a bit busy,” Robert said. “No time to spend hanging about listening to village gossip.”

“So Gabby telling everyone I kissed her is village gossip?” Liv said. She was clearly trying to sound angry, but just like her brother, her eyes swam with tears and the effort to keep her voice from breaking was clear.

“She what?” Robert asked.

“She told everyone. At my party. After she wrote ‘skank’ on my back,” Liv said.

“Liv, I’m sorry.”

“And now everyone’s going on about her being a bad mate and whether I’m gay or if I’m just experimenting,” Liv said and wiped at her face. “I can’t even show my face at school.”

Robert reached out, trying to offer some comfort to her. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say to make this right for her? All he could do is awkwardly put his arm around her shoulder and hope it was enough. Liv leaned into him and Robert just let her cry it out.

“It’s rubbish but it will blow over,” Robert said.

“But I can’t face them, Rob! Not with everyone wanting to know what I am,” Liv said.

“It’s tough. Believe it or not I do get it,” Rob said.

“Yeah, so you’re bi or whatever. You weren’t outed to everyone at your school and called a skank by your best mate,” Liv said.

“No,” Robert agreed. “But I was outed to everyone in the village.”

“You were?”

“Yeah,” Robert told her. “I was the talk of the town for a while. ‘Oh, didn’t you hear? Robert Sugden likes blokes now.’”

“They were that bad?”

“I wasn’t as well-loved as I am now,” Robert told her and got a small laugh out of her. “I think they were all happy to see my downfall.”

“Being bi isn’t a downfall, Rob.”

“I know that now,” Robert agreed. “But everything came out. My marriage to Chrissie ended. And then I had everyone talking about how I was gay. I didn’t really know what I was. Not that it mattered to anyone.” Robert sighed.

“It’s hard, you know? Trying to figure out who you are when you’ve got a bunch of people thinking they’re helping by telling you what you are,” Robert told her.

“How did it blow over?” Liv asked quietly.

“I got shot. Suddenly it wasn’t about me being gay. It was about who shot me and who wished I had died that night,” Robert said. “I hope that’s not the route you’re thinking of going down.”

“Aaron’d kill me if I did.”

“Whatever happens, Liv, you’ll get through this.”

“How?” Liv asked.

“By knowing you’ve got people who’ve got your back. And not feeling the need to defend yourself,” Robert said.

“But I don’t even know what I am. I don’t even know how to explain it,” Liv said.

“You don’t have to. Not if you don’t want,” Robert said. “I know the choice to share that experience was taken away from ya, but the rest of it is up to you.”

“What if I don’t want to have another experience? With anyone?” Liv asked.

“Well, I’d reckon that’s your choice,” Robert said.

“Thanks,” Liv said after a minute.

“Don’t mention it,” Robert said. “You’re not alone in this.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Liv pushed away from Robert a bit. “I got Aaron, Gerry. Chas.”

“And me,” Robert said. “If you want, that is. I know I’m not exactly your favorite person, but I do still care about you.”

“I’m not a liar then?” Liv asked.

Robert sighed and closed his eyes, the words he shouted at her months earlier ringing in his ears. “I’m sorry, Liv. I… wasn’t in a good place then.”

“I was angry at you,” Liv said. “And I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Robert told her.

“Are you gonna tell Aaron about this?” Liv said, gesturing toward the empty vodka bottle.

“I probably should,” Robert said. “But I think you’re allowed it this once. As long as you promise me this won’t be a habit, yeah?”

“All right, all right.”

As soon as they stood up, Liv threw her arms around Robert’s waist. Robert could only hug her back and wish there was more he could do.

“You really think I can get through this?” Liv asked.

“Are you kidding me? You’re one of the strongest people I know, Liv. You can get through anything. And I’ll be there if you need me.”

“Even if it’s just to help me with maths?” Liv asked, a small laugh escaping her.

“For any reason,” Robert assured her.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Robert gave her one last squeeze before they walked out together. He couldn’t change everything, but he could at least be there for her in any way that he could.

Next Part...

#don't know how i feel about it yet but it's mostly self indulgent anyways #roblivion #emmerdale fic #robert sugden #liv flaherty #robert and liv #my writing

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Doctor Who: Ranking the Cybermen Stories – Which is the Best?

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The Cybermen are really camp.

They’re meant to be cold, logical, emotionless cyborg vampires, but mostly they’re just silly. They do slow fist-clenches and macho posturing. They wail and flap their arms around. They get killed by glitter. They make insanely convoluted plans and pretend they’re very clever. They are ridiculous and this is as entertaining as it is frustrating.

They are also a terrifying spectre of death. As a child, you know when you see them that death is near, so their mere appearance induces tension. Nearly every Cyberman story combines these elements of death and camp (two of life’s certainties) with a minority of them remembering that they’re ludicrously tragic rather than tragically ludicrous.

This isn’t necessarily a problem, it just means that you’re short-changed if you want very serious and intelligent stories about a dark mirror of humanity, but if you’re after endearingly silly robots sassing around Sixties’ visions of the future, then have you hit the goddamn jackpot.

Don’t expect many classics, and above all take this incredibly seriously. This ranking has been decided using a clever clever clever system* that only people who take sugar in their tea will understand. It’s what the Cybermen would have wanted.

* The ranking is based on whether it’s a good Cyberman story first and a good story second.

18. Nightmare in Silver

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Also no.

Trying to decide which of the bottom two should go where was tricky. Both attempt to do something different with the Cybermen, but in so doing veer too far from their actual concept. Both suffer from thinly sketched supporting casts. Both are dull. Focussing purely on their use of Cybermen, ‘Nightmare in Silver’ is worse. While the Cyberiad’s plans in the Lone Cyberman trilogy underwhelm, they are at least extrapolated from potentially interesting ideas. Here, they’re simply a misunderstanding of what makes the Cybermen work.

Part of this story’s reputation is down to the prior excitement about Neil Gaiman writing a Cyberman story, especially one hyped as a reinvention to make them scarier by harking back to Gaiman’s childhood memories of them. The resulting script was scaled back from an interesting but unachievable concept, rewritten by Steven Moffat, and helmed by a director who didn’t manage to elevate the material to something at least visually interesting. Fundamentally though, the script is inherently flawed.

The idea of the Cybermen being powerful is a fallacy that ignores their standard modus operandi: sneaking around in the shadows and using traitors to break in. They only mount assaults when they’re sure of an advantage. They’ve never adapted before, or seemed such a threat as to require a galaxy being destroyed. What we have here is Shiny Borg. They’re robots. We even see one take off its head and there’s no organic matter within.

Gaiman, by focussing on the fast-paced evolution of contemporary technology, leads the story away from eery stillness and the shadows of childhood memories towards a leaden wackiness, and the misreading is exacerbated by the other contributors.

You can see how there might be a good story in here, but because a lot happens very fast nothing is given room to breathe and the characters are barely sketched. The Cybermen of Gaiman’s memory (that monochrome spectre of death) is replaced here by dull visuals shorn of both camp and horror. There’s no slow build of dread, or sense of tragic inhumanity: just a series of tricks that would never be repeated.

Matt Smith gets some good moments (telling the intentionally annoying children not to wander off, offering his two cents on a marriage proposal) but also, with the line about Clara’s skirt, gets given one of the worst lines in the history of Doctor Who.

17. The Haunting of Villa Diodati / Ascension of the Cybermen / The Timeless Children

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Also no.

‘The Haunting of Villa Diodati’ is good until Ashad, the Lone Cyberman, arrives.

The idea of someone wanting to be converted is interesting (there’s potential to tap into the weaponising of emotion and frailty) but instead we get Tim Shaw’s angrier brother. Being told rather than shown Ashad’s backstory doesn’t help, but we’re presented with a one-note zealot. Why is he fanatical? We don’t know. Rather than tap into any nuance or pathos we have another of Chibnall’s overly nasty villains who delights in telling us, not merely that he killed his children, but that he slit their throats.

Ashad’s fanaticism, combined with the knowledge of all Cybermen, has the ultimate aim of turning the Cybermen into robots then wipe out all other life in the galaxy. This plan is so bad that the Master takes the piss out of him for it (“Oh you mean robots. You’ll be robots”). Ashad is then killed for McGuffin reasons, an anticlimax to an anticlimax. We then get the Cyber Lords, which is partly another potentially interesting concept dismissed quickly, but mostly a hilarious visual.

Focussing purely on the Cybermen, these stories are at best frustrating, at worst they feel like they were written by the Media Chaos Collective from The Adam & Joe Show.

16. The Wheel in Space

Is their plan to convert people? Nope. Is it logical at least? No.

The Cybermen’s plan here isn’t as silly as their one from ‘The Moonbase’ but it’s more convoluted and not unlike building an elaborate marble run before checking if you even have a marble. According to the Doctor, they’re determined to invade Earth for its mineral wealth, because if there’s one thing that frightens children it’s the prospect of not having enough hematite. As the plan involves a lot of things sliding into place before everything kicks off, it’s a long traipse through Base Under Siege cliches to the Cybermen being repelled when someone remembers to turn the force field on. It’s not especially bad, it’s just dull.

Amidst this are some memorable scenes. The characterisation is strong. Zoe is introduced well as a human computer, an interesting counterpoint to the Cybermen. Troughton is excellent, which goes without saying. The ‘You know our ways’ confrontation, for example, is a great encapsulation of his Doctor: a bunched up, quiet performance giving way to a formidable presence.

15. Revenge of the Cybermen

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Yes.

In which co-creator Gerry Davis writes for the Cybermen again, and as with Terry Nation’s mid-Seventies return, his approach to Doctor Who hasn’t changed since the Sixties. This story sticks out in Season 12 as a result. The confident production of ‘Genesis of the Daleks’ is replaced here with an apologetic slog that relies on the regulars’ chemistry to enliven it. Fortunately the regulars are Tom Baker, Lis Sladen and Ian Marter, which counteracts the tepid political intrigue on Voga.

The Cybermen are notoriously emotional here and memorably dismissed by the Doctor as being a bit rubbish. On the other hand, this is a rare example of them using stun guns. Given the whole ‘we must survive/you will be like us’ concept you’d think they’d use them more often.

Christopher Robbie’s performance as the Cyberleader is, like David Banks’ later performances in the role, not a little silly. Unlike David Banks, this doesn’t appear to be deliberate.

14. Attack of the Cybermen

Is their plan to convert people? Not their main plan, but there is a fair bit of it. Is it logical at least? A bit.

A solid first episode gives way to a very poor second: there are good ideas here but there are also very bad ones and a hollow ending, resulting in something full of sound and fury but signifying nothing.

It does have some good dialogue and actors, and a great central performance by Colin Baker: still unpleasant, but nowhere near as much as his debut story. He plays the final scene with enough conviction that you don’t immediately question the lack of internal logic involved. The Cryons look like someone tried to make a chrome Doctor Zoidberg mask, but also have distinct characters and some great dialogue. That one of their last lines is ‘We will survive’ is a nice touch.

Unfortunately the Cybermen here are rubbish. The story harks back to their previous stories but the sets pale in comparison to what they’re meant to evoke. They’re killed surprisingly easy, especially in comparison with ‘Earthshock’, and every actor playing one seems to be going for a different approach. They visibly panic at times, and imprison the Doctor in a roomful of explosives and then make ‘Leggit!’ motions when they discover he’s made a bomb. Cold. Logical. Ruthless.

13. Silver Nemesis

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? In so far as any of ‘Silver Nemesis’ is logical, yes.

A story where the Cybermen are only involved because they’re metallic, and it was the Silver Anniversary of Doctor Who. Despite this contrivance, they start off well here by arriving impressively for the cliffhanger with a chrome makeover, casually destroying some Nazis and hanging out in a tomb getting confused by jazz.

However, they finish it by getting taken out by Ace firing gold coins at them (it’s like taking out vampires by shining a torch on them) and having their entire fleet destroyed. There’s no great reason for them to even be there.

‘Silver Nemesis’ as a story is a mess, and its extended VHS edit doesn’t make that much more sense than the televised version, but it’s mostly a fun mess and breezes by quickly. Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred are having a great time, David Banks is always good value, and Fiona Walker’s Lady Peinforte is a hoot. It works well when viewed as a parody of the McCoy era.

12. The Five Doctors

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Yes.

There’s an episode of the Imaginary Advice podcast where Ross Sutherland and John Osborne are taking turns rewriting Four Weddings and a Funeral but each of them is trying to take it in a completely different direction. It’s really good.

Meanwhile, in 1983, Eric Saward kept adding squads of Cybermen to Terrance Dicks’ ‘Five Doctors’ script, and Dicks responded by blowing them up in memorable ways (a nonsensical chessboard trap and an astonishingly violent robot attack). On the one hand this undermines the Cybermen, especially after their bombastic return in ‘Earthshock’, but as Doctor Who has been undermining the Cybermen since 1967 (and ‘Earthshock’ is no exception) it seems in keeping for the anniversary story to continually dump on them too. And yet, somehow their presence as cannon fodder here is not their weakest moment.

Special mention to the posh Cyberman who asks ‘Hwhy was the main gate lehft unguarded?’

Doctor Who: Ranking Every Single Companion Departure

By Andrew Blair

Doctor Who: Ranking the Dalek Stories – Which is the Best?

By Andrew Blair

11. Army of Ghosts / Doomsday

Is their plan to convert people? Sometimes. Is it logical at least? Yes.

Having been revealed as the titular ghosts, the Cybermen use their dominant position on Earth to… stand around in people’s living rooms doing nothing. Meanwhile four Daleks arrive to steal their cliffhanger and confirm the Cybermen’s role as the second-best monster, then then the story gets rid of them all when it needs to engineer the separation of the Doctor and Rose. They provide spectacle, certainly, and a great argument scene with the Daleks, but not much beyond that. A popular story, for sure, but not a good Cybermen story.

10. Rise of the Cybermen / The Age of Steel

Is their plan to convert people? Yes. Is it logical at least? Yes.

The return of the Cybermen for the new series was an exciting prospect, with ‘Caves of Androzani’ director Graeme Harper returning and rumours of the story being inspired by Big Finish’s Cybermen origin story ‘Spare Parts’. It is clear fairly early on that this is not like ‘Spare Parts’, and to be fair it was used more as a starting point than a source for adaptation. Instead this story feels like it’s trying to homage everything that’s gone before, and so we have get a heady combo of action, nonsense and body horror.

The first episode keeps the Cybermen to the peripheries and is mostly setup for the season finale. Meanwhile we have Roger Lloyd Pack’s endearingly barking performance as John Lumic, the creator of the Cybermen in this world, delivering his dialogue like the lovechild of Anthony Hopkins and the dog from Pixar’s Up, and laughing at his own quip with a hearty ‘BAHAHAAGH’. ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ plays during a conversion scene. The Cybermen arrive late to the party, announcing their presence with a big light and stomping loudly. They grab their heads and gyrate before they explode, like they’ve got the same choreographer as Kylie. To be fair, this is only as camp as every other Cybermen story.

The second episode zips along, and occasionally pauses to actually let the horror sink in effectively (the Cybermen staring through the fence after they kill Ricky, the Jackie reveal, Sally the bride-to-be), but it also feels like the production team have decided to make an Eighties action film (for a family audience) in Cardiff (for £700,000).

9. The Tenth Planet

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? If you’re on board with the whole Vampire Planet thing, yes.

The first episode is mostly setup, a lot of close-ups of astronauts, and the occasional inkling of the uncanny. It’s not exactly gripping, and demonstrates precisely why pre-credits sequences came in. The second episode is dominated by the full debut of the Cybermen, which is much better.

It should be stressed how weird the Cybermen are here with their mouths agape as their hands grip still-warm bodies, their vampire planet flying through space, their dead eyes peering through mesh. Their dispassionate nature is contrasted with Ben’s troubled reaction to killing something for the first time, and General Cutler’s fear for his son leading him to extreme actions. While this leads to some tension, episodes 3 and 4 are very similar to 1 and 2.

It’s a shame that the story is so repetitive as there are some great concepts in play, but these are abandoned in favour of a shoot ‘em up, with Ben no longer having any qualms about killing. This would be higher if it had stuck the landing.

8. Closing Time

Is their plan to convert people? Yes. Is it logical at least? Yes.

‘Closing Time’ is a strange one, because it’s mostly a tonal continuation of ‘The Lodger’ set mostly in a bright department store, but in many ways the depiction of the Cybermen here is on point: a small weakened group trying to survive, patiently building up their power. They are strange monsters lurking in the dark beneath the ground, and the idea of them haunting a shop basement is inspired. However they are on the periphery of returning character Craig Owens Trying To Be A Doctor Who companion, so the potential horror of this idea is unexplored.

While the comedy is hit and miss (there are some good gags but some very tired tropes too) this breezes along divertingly enough throughout its running time. Matt Smith is great here, and my issue with the resolution is not that Craig avoids conversion through a powerful emotional response, but that 30 seconds later this has somehow become all the Cybermen and their ship blowing up. A lot of people wanted a character played by James Corden to die though, so you can see how they’d be disappointed.

7. The Next Doctor

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Christ no.

A Christmas special, and so accordingly a mix of froth, grief and attempted infanticide. If you go with it then it’s an involving and entertaining yarn for the most part, only to fall apart in its resolution. This involves the Doctor using the Cybermen’s magic USB sticks to set off a rapid burst of unsatisfying contrivances, whereupon Dervla Kirwan’s character suddenly feels bad and screams at the Cybermen til they explode.

There’s also the Cybershades and Cyber-King, both of which only appear here. They work as disposable one-offs, and while there’s some sense of having a mobile conversion unit it feels like a colossal juggernaut is overkill. It’s a barmy idea that either makes you laugh or Log On. The Cybershades, which look like the Yetis from The Mighty Boosh, are apparently converted from small animals, which conjures up images of the Cybermen trying to wrangle cats, or Cybershades knocking vases from windowsills and refusing to eat the food that’s already in the bowl.

The Cybermen are here as spectacle rather than substance, and in that respect Andy Goddard directs them well. They’re shot from low angles marching out of the darkness. This story looks great in its daytime scenes, and the graveyard massacre’s stark monochrome with burst of red is a great burst of horror. Russell T. Davies continues to give the Cybermen appropriate yet funny dialogue.

David Morrissey and Dervla Kirwan are great guest stars, and while the journey is diverting enough the destination isn’t worth it, and doesn’t really deliver much in the way of substance.

6. The Tomb of the Cybermen

Is their plan to convert people? Yes, as long as they’re clever. Is it logical at least? No.

This story contains iconic images, scenes and dialogue, but also quite a lot of nonsense in between. Here we have legendary lines like the chilling ‘You belong to us. You will be like us’ and the plaintive bleat of ‘We will survive’ (which should be their mission statement but rarely is). However, contrast these with the line ‘How would you know honey?’ (a bewildering quip delivered in a hokey American accent) and we have ‘Tomb’ neatly encapsulated: a high concept horror meshed with a B-movie, and the latter is ultimately dominant.

This is initially fun but peters out, and is a classic example of ‘Everybody involved has to do something stupid to keep the story going’ (indeed, the Doctor has to do something stupid just so it can start). The Cybermen are included in this, and while the shots of their leaving their tombs are rightly famous, their actual reasons for having the tombs are nebulous at best. A story where its highlights work better as clips in isolation.

5. The Invasion

Is their plan to convert people? Yes. Is it logical at least? Yes!

As often happened in the late Sixties, this was extended to fill a gap after another story fell through, but fortunately the padding in the case of ‘The Invasion’ is mainly provided by Tobias Vaughn and Packer (one of the all-time great Villain/Henchperson combos), and before the Cybermen turn up half way through we have an industrial espionage thriller. If anything this is more fun than the finale, which consists mainly of army bods narrating missile attacks.

This is perhaps the peak of the Cybermen’s strength as a visual: the images of them marching unchallenged through London are iconic despite being incredibly brief. We also have the endearing trait of every bit of equipment they use being prefixed by ‘Cyber’ (eg. Cyber-hypnotic force, Cyber-invasion, Cyber-megatron bomb).

Also unintentionally kitsch: The Cybermen are sometimes depicted as a planet-conquering power requiring galaxies be destroyed to stop them, but they’re defeated here by UNIT. That is to say: UNIT successfully attack and repel them. UNIT.

4. Earthshock

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Sometimes.

An interesting production: Eric Saward’s scripts could easily have bombed in the hands of any other directory working on the show in 1981, but Peter Grimwade turned them into gripping television. It’s fair to say the story doesn’t quite hang together but the shock moments landed with the audience, and it takes you along on the ride sufficiently to gloss over the cracks (Adric’s line about why a space freighter is now able to time travel is one of Doctor Who’s all-time great moments of Absolute Bullshit Delivered with Utter Conviction).

Like ‘Day of the Daleks’ though, the Cybermen are here purely for their legacy and impact. The story would work if you replaced the Cybermen with almost any other monster, and through repeat viewings the veneer of credibility is removed, but you can’t deny the momentum it builds and rebuilds.

Also I need to mention David Banks: this is his first of his four onscreen appearances as the Cyber Leader, and he establishes his grand tradition of being nothing like the popular conception of a Cyberman but no one cares because he’s relentlessly entertaining. His performance, along with Beryl Reid, brings a level of camp that makes this feel more like a Cyberman story than anything else in the mix. No one else can deliver a ‘Verb the Noun’ line like him, and ‘Earthshock’ not only has ‘Activate…the device’ but also ‘EXPLODE THE BOMB’. Lovely stuff.

3. The Moonbase

Is their plan to convert people? No. Is it logical at least? Absolutely not.

On the one hand, all the potential, the novelty, the Cybermen as something distinctive within Doctor Who, it ends here. Here they are simply big shiny robots who want to destroy life on earth for no obvious reason. Their plan is as nonsensical as the science in this story.

For better or worse the Cybermen become themselves here (although they were on the way there by the end of ‘Tenth Planet’) and what they are is a generic monster with generic motives. They no longer look like they’re cyborgs, and the voice is accordingly more robotic, and despite the variations in costume and voice these two traits persist.

On the other hand, the Cybermen are delightfully sarcastic. The truculent base commander says ‘I don’t care who you are, you can get off the moon now!’ Jamie moans deliriously about a phantom piper. A tea tray saves the day. As Cybermen are defeated they float off into space and everyone yells ‘Hooray!” Resistance is useless: ‘The Moonbase’ is a blast. If you want to embrace the Cybermen at their camp and preposterous best this is the story for you.

2. Dark Water / Death in Heaven

Is their plan to convert people? Well it’s not really their plan, but yes. Is it logical at least? Yes.

Here Steven Moffat tries to reconcile the Cybermen’s association with death and the air of tragedy that hangs around them – their recurring crying motif and doomed planet origin story – by playing up the vampiric angle. The Cybermen can now use dead bodies, making the creatures of decay aspect clearer, and convert you into someone like them. They can fly. They mull around graveyards looking lost, which is a fantastic piece of imagery (if the Cybermen must survive at all costs, graveyards must really challenge their emotional inhibitors; the pull of death must be quite strong).

As you can see from this list, it’s rare for a Cyberman story to actually explore these angles. Most Cybermen stories simply have something shaped like Cybermen in them, but who are conceptually indistinct from (for example) the Kraals or War Machines. This is a Cybermen story that actually explores the idea of the Cybermen as is more interesting as a result.

1. World Enough and Time / The Doctor Falls

Is their plan to convert people? Yes. Is it logical at least? Yes.

The Cybermen don’t make sense. Their onscreen appearances don’t provide anything like coherence. Here, Steven Moffat casually turns the Cybermen into a repeatedly actualised meme, a concept that reoccurs throughout history, taking out whole civilisations. In doing so Moffat turns their disparate depictions into a strength, making them an insidious threat that always returns. In doing so they become both physical and historical waves of violence.

Moffat, having thought carefully about how he uses the Cybermen, also nailed something most writers haven’t noticed: iconic Cyberman scenes are mostly visual (their leaving their tombs, walking down St Pauls, advancing in three ranks in ‘Earthshock’), but the best scenes in Cybermen stories are about the extremes of human behaviour, not the Cybermen: here we have the dying civilisation performing inhuman operations, and Bill’s struggle for her selfhood after being converted. In ‘Tomb’ we have the Doctor and Victoria’s conversation about loss, memory and adventure. In ‘The Invasion’ we have Tobias Vaughn goading Watkins into shooting him then chuckling as he survives. In ‘Spare Parts’, Big Finish’s origin story for the Cybermen, we have a partially converted woman returning home to her father. Upon realising that this cyborg is in fact his daughter he reacts not with fear, but with love. Indeed this is what ‘The Doctor Falls’ does so well, it makes it a story about people’s response to the Cybermen, and about opting for kindness, whether this be through emotional support and care or blowing the bad guys up.

This is all connected with Moffat depicting the clinical inhumanity of conversion in the face of extinction, while maintaining the Cybermen’s legacy as a spectre of death (their relentless march up the spaceship to find the survivors). In contrast to this he also uses Bill, as he did Danny Pink, as a lone figure retaining more humanity than other Cybermen (that he does this twice with black characters is presumably well-intentioned – both are ultimately heroic after facing the horrors of conversion – but also careless). Indeed it’s not clear whether Moffat intentionally puts the Doctor in a position of white Patriarchal authority here. His depiction of the Doctor covers both an idealised vision of masculine intellect – “The Doctor” – and a more obviously flawed ally who gives in to fury. Indeed here he journeys from the latter to the former.

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Peter Capaldi’s Doctor started off as abrasive and alien, and the Cybermen work as an important contrast to him here: he’s the defence against an oncoming storm, sacrificing himself and restating his ideals strongly enough to kill the Master. This story ties up loose ends in a way you don’t see coming. Moffat, as you can see throughout his series, tends to explore ideas a few times before really honing in on what makes them work on the second or third try. The first few times he tries bigger changes, then reigns those in, and then finally starts adding to what’s already there in order to make it fit with the larger mythology. Here his ideas about the Cybermen, the Master and the Doctor all strive to make sense of what’s gone before and advance it. The result is incredible.

The post Doctor Who: Ranking the Cybermen Stories – Which is the Best? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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show me your juciest jefferson facts my family is starving

At age ten, Jefferson was sent by his father into the woods alone with only a gun. The expectation was that he would come home with evidence that he could survive on his own in the wild. The test did not begin well, everything frightened the small child but he finally managed to catch a wild turkey (Meacham 4).

Jefferson believe his first memory was of being handed up to a slave on horseback and carried, carefully, on a pillow for a long journey (Meacham 9).

When Jefferson was first sent off to school as a boy he was also anxious for it to be over and often slipped away, hid and repeated the Lord’s Prayer in hopes of getting school over quicker. His prayers were never answered and he would come to believe orthodox Christianity was not all it was said to be (Meacham 10).

Jefferson’s first extremely close friend outside of his sister Jane was Dabney Carr. They shared much in common and Jefferson recalled later had, “more of the milk of human kindness, of indulgence, of softness, of pleasantry of conversation and conduct.” The two young boys made a pact one day, whoever survived the other was to bury the one to die first beneath their favorite oak tree. Dabney was the first to go, and Jefferson did just that. (Meacham 14).

At College of William and Mary, Jefferson studied fifteen hours a day, and ran from his room to the shore a mile from town and rowed a small canoe of his as well as did swimming (Meacham 19).

Christmas Evening, 1762, Thomas Jefferson was rejected by Rebecca Burwell and then woke up on Christmas morning to find rats had gnawed at his pocketbook and his garters and a watch in his room which held a drawing of Rebecca. That night, rain had leaked through the house and soaked his watch, destroying it. This didn’t help that Jefferson was in the worst depressive episode of his life thus far (Meacham 24). The next day he was dancing with Rebecca and everything was going well until he opened his mouth and could only stutter (Meacham 25).

When he found out his childhood home of Shadwell burnt down he asked if any of his books had been saved; they had not. He then asked if his violin had been saved; a slave then replied, “Ah! We saved your fiddle!” (Meacham 46).

A pair of competing suitors for Martha Wayles Skelton once showed with at her home and heard Martha and Thomas singing quite beautifully together. They all looked at year other and left without even knocking (Meacham 56).

One of Jefferson’s favorite stories to tell from his time in the Congress was of an exchange between fat Benjamin Harrison and wispy Elbridge Gerry. “Gerry, when the hanging comes, I shall have the advantage; you’ll kick in the air half an hour after it is all over with me!”

Fall 1776, Patrick Henry asked Thomas Jefferson to go with Benjamin Franklin and Silas Deane to France but Jefferson refused because his wife was too sick to go and he didn’t want to leave her.

When Benedict Arnold was conducting his siege of Virginia in an attempt to capture and imprison the author of the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson was told of the British troops rush into the Virginia Legislature in which they capture many of the delegates before they could even stand up and that the were heading to Monticello next, Jefferson climbed to the top of a hill near his home with a spy glass and saw nothing. On his way down, he slipped on some pebbles and curiosity got the better of him and he checked out his spy glass again; this time he saw that the British were actually coming and was forced to flee while shoving “in papers where I could” and had his slaves hide his silver. When he was able to return weeks later, he was surprised Monticello was still standing and was most upset about the fact that his wine stash had been drank.

During his life, Thomas Jefferson broke his wrist three times. Once, in 1782 he fell from his horse and shattered his left wrist; then in 1786 he dislocated his right wrist attempting to impress Maria Cosway in France, and finally in 1825 he fell off a step at Monticello at broke his left wrist again.

After his wife’s death, he considered suicide and was said by James Monroe for the first week locked in his room to be unable to look upon the face of any of his children until he finally came to for the last three weeks. He only didn’t commit suicide “for the infidelity of deserting the sacred charge left me, I could not ish its continuance a moment.” because of his children.

He twice while in Paris attended masquerade balls (they began at eleven pm and ran until six am). Both he and John Adam’s son-in-law William S. Smith were hit on by a baronness: “When Mr. Jefferson had made his escape,” Smith wrote, “she had fastened her talons on me.”

In his later years, Jefferson acquired a bust of Hamilton and placed it opposite one of himself in the entrance hall at Monticello. According to a biographer, “The eyes settles with a deeper interest on busts of Jefferson and Hamilton, by Ceracchi, placed on massive pedestals on each side of the main entrance–’opposed in death as in life’, as the surviving original sometimes remarked, with a pensive smile, as he observed the notice they attracted.”

Jefferson decorated his walls with collections of portraits that included Sir Francis Bacon, John Locke and Sir Isaac Newton. Hamilton asked Jefferson who they were. “I told him they were my trinity of the three greatest men the world had ever produced, naming them,” Jefferson recalled. Taking this in, Hamilton paused, thinking before after a moment broke the silence. “The greatest man who ever lived,” Hamilton said, “was Julius Caesar.”

Usually a calm man, one time two ferrymen had been fighting between themselves when they took Jefferson and his younger daughter Patsy aboard for the passage. The peace was broke and the two men grew violent. Jefferson “his eyes flashing” then “snatched up an oar, and, in a voice which rung out above the angry tones of the men, flourished it over their heads. Weapon in hand, Jefferson told them to “row for your lives or I will knock you both overboard!” The men grew back to fighting and Jefferson seized control and forced his will on them. In this case, the life of him and his daughter were at danger.

On the eve of the Fourth of July celebrations in 1800, a slave by the name of Thomas Jefferson died and rumors spread that it was Jefferson who had died at Monticello. The Federalists clung to this rumor, spreading it around even though by July 6th it was known that Jefferson was still alive and well (Meacham 325).

As president, Jefferson kept a mockingbird whom he named Dick who hung in its cage in the window of his office. Dick was “the constant companion of his solitary and studious hours, sometimes settling on Jefferson’s shoulder or accepting “food from his lips”. When he retired to his chamber, the bird would hop up the steps after him.

While President of the United States, Jefferson would get death threats. The best one thus safe that I’ve seen is this: “I think you ought to get a damn kicking, you red-headed son of a bitch. You are a pretty fellow to be President of the United States of America, you dirty scoundrel.” –Anonymous

The explorer Zebulon Pike purchased two bear cubs for Jefferson from a Native American along the Rio Grande. His men nursed them with milk and they arrived safety at the president’s house in 1808. But Jefferson found it was unpractical to keep them on the ground and sent them to Charles Peale’s zoo in Philadelphia (Meacham 410-411).

The first child born in the White House was James Madison Randolph born to Patsy Jefferson Randolph, the eldest Jefferson daughter.

He used to organize races on the grounds of Monticello for his grandchildren and let the younger ones have a head-start. Basically he just spoiled his grandchildren with a shit ton of dresses.

May, 1823, Jefferson was on his solitary daily ride when his horse became “mirred in the river” and Jefferson, his legs tangled, fell into the current. His family feared he had drowned as he was carried down stream but he reached a more shallow part of the river and used his hands to get himself out. Again, during this occasion, Jefferson’s arm ended up in a sling. This event made four wrist injuries in his whole life.

When Lafayette visited America, he paid a visit to Monticello and laid eyes on Thomas Jefferson for the first time in thirty years. They ran at one another in their old age, “My dear Jefferson!” and “My dear Lafayette”. They when proceeded to drink out a shit ton of wine from the cellar.

Before his death as his final piece of writing he composed a poem for his daughter, Patsy Jefferson.

#you do not understand how long this took me #I have been working on this since this morning #what the fuck #Flood Pressles box #Sincerely Anonymous #thomas jefferson

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esprit-de-corps-magazine · 7 years

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1974: Lest We Forget, Part 1

(Volume 21-7)

By Robert Smol

In 1974 a total of 41 Canadian Armed Forces personnel (including six army cadets) were killed while on service overseas and here in Canada. Outside of the military community, their sacrifices and the ordeal of their families and friends went largely unnoticed by the Canadian public. In the series 1974: Lest We Forget, Robert Smol tells the story of the little-known events that plagued the CAF 40 years ago.

On a rainy day on July 30, 1974, the lives of 138 members of Company D at CFB Valcartier Cadet Camp were to be changed forever when, during a safety lecture, a group of regular army instructors from the base allowed samples of “dummy” explosives to be distributed among the cadets.

Unknown to everyone present was that a live M-61 grenade had been negligently placed in the same box as the dummy explosives. The inevitable happened when 14-year-old Cadet Eric Lloyd ended up pulling the pin on what he was made to believe was a fake grenade.

The resulting explosion, in the crammed makeshift classroom, killed Lloyd and five other army cadets. Fifty-four other cadets were wounded that day.

But for the military tasked to train and care for the cadets, it seemed that Company D’s 42 per cent casualty rate in one single day was not enough to prompt a modicum of care and compassion.

Painful stories of the survivors, now in their 50s and early 60s, describe a systemic effort at cover-up by a military bureaucracy determined to deflect responsibility away from itself and trying, unsuccessfully, to place blame on the teenaged cadets.

Routine safety lecture

Ironically, what took place in the barracks that afternoon was a routine safety lecture — the object of which was to ensure the cadets were aware of the potential dangers posed by any discarded explosives they may find on the base. The person conducting the lecture was Captain Jean-Claude Giroux, who at the time was the officer commanding the Ammunition Section on the base.

“This course was to tell them not to touch anything,” stated Captain Giroux in a Statutory Declaration made to the Sûreté du Québec on August 12, 1974 and released under the Access to Information Act. “My goal was that they react to the sight of any nondescript device.”

Because it was raining that day, the decision was made to hold the lecture indoors in the company barracks. “The bunk beds had been pushed to one end and we were all sitting down cross-legged,” says Colin Caldwell, who was among the 138 cadets crammed into the makeshift classroom.

As Captain Giroux and his assistant, Private Claude Pelletier, were conducting the lecture they allowed the boys to handle some “dummy” explosives that they brought along with them as illustrations.

“The regular force instructors were there to show everyone what not to do if you see any of these explosives — that they should not touch them because this is what they do and they are all dangerous,” says former cadet instructor Paul Wheeler, who currently works as a culinary arts instructor in Saskatchewan. “But they said you could play with these samples that they had because they were dummies.”

What had not come to the attention of the base instructors was the fact that a live M-61 grenade was among their display dummy explosives, which they were allowing the cadets to look at and handle.

Released under Access to Information, a confidential message dated August 2, 1974 from the Base Security Officer to National Defence headquarters states: “Interviews conducted yesterday tend to indicate that the instructor may have had in his hand a green grenade at one time. The cadets interviewed also indicated that the green grenade was passed around the classroom. They do not recall seeing the instructor checking to see if the grenades were safe.”

Smoke, stillness and screaming

Fifteen-year-old Peter Van Kampen was sitting behind Eric Lloyd when he pulled the pin on the grenade he was handling between his legs on the floor.

“I just saw black smoke and a ringing in my ears and chaos. After that I could just hear people screaming and yelling. I got up and turned around, and as I was running there was a young man lying on the floor so I grabbed him and dragged him out the door. It was such a loud bang you didn’t hear it,” recalls Colin Caldwell. “What I recall was the incredibly loud ringing in my ear and the room filled with smoke and cinder. People were fleeing the room and I got up and was being pushed from behind.”

While staggering for the exit with the other cadets, Caldwell recalled seeing Eric Lloyd on the floor “still somewhat moving.”

“He was cut open from head to groin.”

Wheeler, who was sitting at the end of the barracks on one of the bunk beds recalled, “We just sat there, stunned, as the smoke started to clear. There were maybe somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 or 30 of the cadets who were obviously injured or dead. Then we just went up and started to see what we could do to help the ones that were still left in the barracks.”

Among the other cadets still able to provide assistance was Van Kampen, who was helping the shocked and wounded out of the barrack until he collapsed from the shrapnel wound in his right leg.

“I had a couple of holes in my leg and I didn’t realize I had been wounded.”

Shortly thereafter cadet staff and base ambulances began appearing on the scene. Among them was Sergeant Gerry Fostaty, an 18-year-old cadet instructor who was working in the orderly room down the hall when the explosion happened.

In his 2011 book As You Were: The Tragedy at Valcartier, Fostaty describes walking into the room and seeing “a large black burn hole in the floor” and where “blood was splattered and smeared all over the walls ... A cadet stood up and went two steps towards me. He was shaking violently and his left arm was covered in blood. He stopped right in front of me and just blankly started at me, so I walked him outside where he could be taken care of.”

Among the cadets killed in the barracks as a result of the grenade explosion were:

Yves Langlois, age 15

Pierre Leroux, age 14

Eric Lloyd, age 14

Othon Mangos, age 14

Mario Provencher, age 14

Michael Voisard, age 14

Why don’t they get out and help?

According to Van Kampen and Fostaty, the reaction of some of the medical personnel on base appeared to be less than heroic.

In his book, Fostaty recalls the indifferent response of one of the base ambulances that arrived at the scene of the incident.

“A green army ambulance drove up over the uneven ground and bounced to a stop near us … The medic on the passenger side rolled down the window and, over his right shoulder, threw two first-aid kits on the ground beside me. He then rolled up the window and lit up a cigarette. I remember thinking, ‘Why don’t they get out and help?’ There were injured, bleeding, and dying people littering the ground all around the ambulance. Did they think this was a training exercise?”

Evacuated among the wounded to the base hospital, Van Kampen was to wait unattended in a corridor for six hours before he was finally operated on.

“They just dropped us everywhere and anywhere,” he said. “The doctors and nurses had no idea what was going on and they lost track of us. I think they were shocked themselves.”

The place where Van Kampen was left to wait was directly across the makeshift morgue where, whenever the door opened, he could see the bodies of the dead cadets. To make matters worse for his family, the army mistakenly informed his parents that he too was dead.

By the time the base hospital finally got around to operating on Van Kampen’s leg they had run out of anesthetic. In spite of the fact that Valcartier is only 25 kilometres from Quebec City and its civilian hospitals, the base medical personnel went ahead and operated on the teenaged cadet without anesthetic.

“When they tried to remove some of the shrapnel from my knee and around it, they just gave me a piece of wood and told me to bite on it,” remembers Van Kampen.

Meanwhile Caldwell, who was in shock after the incident, was provided with an anti-depressant but, in a miscommunication with the medical staff, ended up overdosing on his meds.

“I was supposed to take a quarter tablet four times a day, but I was taking four,” he says. “I was in a complete daze for the next four days.”

Immediately after the incident the survivors were sequestered on the base, denied any counseling, and forbidden to contact their parents.

“We were separated from the rest of the camp,” recalls Wheeler. “Communications with the outside world were shut off and we were not allowed to make phone calls.”

“No one came to talk to us about it at all,” says Van Kampen. “I just remember they fixed us up, threw us in our room. And all I remember is the next day the officers showed up and rummaged through our clothing, grabbed our clothing and said, “It’s gone — we need it for evidence.”

Interrogation in the bunker

The military inquiry, organized in the days following the incident, has been almost universally described by the surviving cadets as more of an “interrogation,” where the intention of the panel of senior military officers was to try and assign blame for the incident on the cadets. The inquiry was held underground in the nuclear fallout shelter on the base.

“That whole episode of the inquiry was incredibly surreal,” recalls Caldwell. “We were taken to basically a door in the ground that had a couple of armed guards in front of it. You go through an airlock and down below you are seated in front of a table with senior officers who are asking you questions that you may or may not be able to answer.”

At the time of the inquiry Van Kampen had already been released from the base hospital and was at home with his family in Montreal. When the military vehicle showed up to take him back to Valcartier, he and his family were told that he would just be talking with the other boys.

“The next thing you know, we are at this underground bunker and they put us in separate rooms. Then they take us out individually and put us in front of a group of officers who are yelling at us, trying to get us confused, and telling us that we had done it. They wouldn’t listen to a word we said.”

Recalling the aggressively hostile approach of the military inquiry, Wheeler believes that “life would have been a lot easier for the Department of National Defence if it had been something that they could blame on the cadets ... It was just like something out of a movie,” he recalls. “You were fired a question from one person and before you had a chance to answer you were fired a question from another trying to catch you off guard.”

In his book, Fostaty recalled one of the officers at the inquiry actually presenting him with a live grenade. “‘What the hell are you doing with that in here?’ I said, before thinking. It came out of me like a breathy gasp. They pretended not to hear.”

In the end, the military investigations and coroner’s inquiry determined that careless storage procedures on the base resulted in live grenades being mixed with dummies. None of the cadets were found to be at fault. Instead, the coroner’s inquiry assigned responsibility to military authorities for allowing “a climate of negligence and carelessness” to exist in the areas responsible for the storage and distribution of explosives. On March 11, 1975 the Quebec District Coroner found Captain Giroux criminally responsible for the incident.

However, Captain Giroux’s subsequent trial before a civilian court resulted in a verdict of not guilty on June 21, 1977. He was therefore allowed to continue in the Forces and went on to serve for many more years thereafter.

Still awaiting compensation

Forty years later, National Defence refuses to assume any legal liability for what happened. To date, only a few of the cadet instructors and officers who were part of the Canadian Armed Forces Reserves at the time of the incident have been able to receive some compensation for their injuries from Veterans Affairs Canada.

Others like Van Kampen are still left to deal with the physical and mental scars of their experiences. When he was operated on at the base hospital in 1974, not all the shrapnel from the grenade was removed. Forty years later, Van Kampen still carries fragments from the grenade in his leg.

“I’ve had x-rays taken and they could still see it in there. And when I go through an airport scanner now it always goes off.”

Not visible to modern technology are the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that many of the former cadets and their families have been coping with since.

“I went through this phase, which is common with PTSD, where you stay in one place until you get triggered and then you just run,” recalls Wheeler.

In the military’s care and control but not the military’s responsibility

The legal dilemma for the teenaged cadets rests in the argument that, though they were under the direct control and supervision of the military, they are still not legally members of the Forces. As a result, the Canadian Armed Forces does not assume any responsibility for injuries occurring while training as cadets.

It is an argument that Jack Harris, NDP defence critic, disputes.

“Regardless of any of these legal questions,” says Harris, “this government has a moral and political obligation to take responsibility for the consequences of what happened to these cadets and I don’t think they could hold up a legal barrier to this.”

After months of lobbying from both the survivors and the official opposition, in May 2014 the minister of National Defence, Rob Nicholson, announced that he had authorized the ombudsman to look into what happened at CFB Valcartier in July 1974. At the time of writing, the investigation is still ongoing. W

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