#Its not just your fault youre struggling so much. Youre not just being lazy and difficult ... God Just wish someone protected me when

[blurredcolour]

so much John Brady brainrot 🤭 so that being said…..soft dom! Brady headcanons?

Oh my nonny, this ask jumped out at me like a jackrabbit and I feel like it is the perfect time to expound on the forbidden dress scenario I first touched upon around Easter.

Behold some headcannons AND a drabble

Mature/explicit themes below the cut - 18+ only

Given the fact that dear Brady rules his fort with an iron fist (see his lecture to Croz after his struggles finding, I don’t know, England?!) I definitely feel like this man prefers to be in control, but I agree that it errs on the side of a soft!Dom rather than an outright dominant

While he hasn’t engaged in penetrative sex prior to your wedding night, he’s still the one on top, in charge, executing his seduction of you like some kind of pre-flight checklist

And let me tell you it works

As your relationship grows, you definitely feel more confident initiating intimacy, usually at times and in places that leave him slightly bewildered, your desire for him something so utterly mysterious whereas it’s completely logical to him that he cannot get enough of you

But he soon takes over to ensure you get the most amount of pleasure possible, putting himself last

You never realized, however, the potential for him to be suddenly overcome by a need until you wore that seemingly innocuous dress

Securing the zipper at your side, you took a moment to check your appearance in the floor length mirror of your shared bedroom, smoothing the hem of the spring dress in your favourite colour against your knees. It had been an irresistible extravagance when you were at the department store with only socks and underwear on your list, but the neckline and style had called out to you like a siren song.

Smoothing an errant strand of hair, you grabbed your handbag and hurried down the stairs to the living room where John was waiting, scanning the paper for something of interest.

“Ready, honey. Thanks for waiting.” You smiled and he snapped the paper closed along its pre-folded lines but froze as you came into view.

“That’s…that’s new…” he intoned, expression unreadable and making you feel the need to apologize for your over-spending.

“I…yes, I indulged a little at the store, did you want me to-” the sharp shake of his head cut off your offer to take it off, to return it tomorrow.

“It’s perfect.” He exhaled, eyeing you intensely before surging to his feet. “Come on, don’t let me make us late.” He grunted and grabbed his suit jacket from the back of the couch, sliding it on before leading you out to the car.

There was a different tension in the vehicle, John’s eyes flashing in your direction frequently through the short drive to the cathedral, his hand resting heavily against your lower back as he guided you to your favourite pew. The heat of his palm was soaking through the thin fabric of your dress making you shiver at the temperature contrast with the cool stone of the building.

“You chilly?” He leaned in the murmur, the roughness in his voice taking you back to your lazy lovemaking yesterday morning and your jaw dropped open as you suddenly realized just what was going on.

A glance at him to offer a reassuring smile and shake of your head revealed his dilated pupils and slightly flushed cheeks, making you sink to teeth into your lower lip. What on earth had gotten into your husband?!

You could feel the weight of his heated gaze on you like numerous caresses throughout the service, more than confident he didn’t catch a word of the sermon, pressing your lips together sheepishly as somehow you felt at fault for this predicament and yet you couldn’t really bring yourself to mind?

How many times had you found yourself staring at this man, star-struck and breathless with desire in the most inopportune of places…what a heady turn of events this role-reversal was.

As you rose to join your fellow congregants for the weekly post-service chat over coffee and cake, John’s hand slid to your lower back, his skin scorching through your dress by now.

“Would you mind if we ducked out early, sweetheart? I’ve got a bit of a headache…”

Feigning wifely concern, you nodded quickly. “Of course, Johnny, let’s get you home.”

The drive home felt faster than usual, perhaps because he barely stopped at the stop signs, his hand resting on your thigh, fingertips plucking at the hem of your dress idly in the silence of the vehicle. Stepping into the house, you’d barely removed your shoes before his mouth was on yours, hungrily devouring, as his hands seized your hips and pulled you flush against his body.

The prominent bulge of his cock pressed against your hip and you dropped your handbag to slide your fingers into his hair.

“This dress is my devil in the desert.” He growled against your lips, making you laugh breathlessly.

“I wasn’t sure you were paying attention, honey.”

Turning to press you up against the front door, he ground his aching hardness into you. “I was enduring my own test…” he nipped your lips before trailing his mouth down your neck, hands rucking up the hem to slip between your thighs.

Mewling as you pulled at his suit jacket, you clung to him as he pinned you tightly to the door and quickly wrung an orgasm from you with practiced efficiency, leaving you a knock-kneed, panting, shaking mess.

Stepping back to shuck off his jacket and yank his tie free, you reached up to pull down your side zipper, eyes shooting wide at his verbal interjection.

“Ah! This?” His fingers strayed back to toy with the hem of your dress. “No, this stays on.” He said firmly, voice taking on a deep timber that flooded you with fresh desire.

Lurching forward, you instead focused your efforts on stripping him completely, following him down to the small carpet on the foyer floor, lifting your hips as he pulled your underwear off over your garter straps and stockings. Nestling between your thighs beneath your dress, his darkened eyes hungrily drank in the sight of you as he rocked his hardened length through your damp folds until you were begging for him.

“If my wife insists.” He smirked and rocked forward, sinking into your wet heat as your mingled groans filled the foyer.

The novelty of this coupling and desperation of his thrusts, combined with the insistent circles of his thumb on your clit, meant it did not take long for either of you to find release, left a sweaty, gasping mess on the floor of the entry way.

#answered asks #thinking brady thoughts #ladies who brady #tw catholicism

[mrfoox]

Uh you ever.... Feel okay or pretty decent and then you remember your lifes circumstances and then you're at the verge of tears?

#miranda talking shit #Maybe this is too specific but hah yeah ... #I can feel okay and be like ah things are pretty good ! And then i remember how my life 'is' and im close to a breakdown #Trying nit to compare myself to others and so on but like.... Its so hard not to lmao #25 soon and no job havent finished high-school i got no partner (plus i guess a virgin lol) #And all the things i havent done or experienced which is pretty universal? Yeah mmm... Ive lost so much of my time and life to mental #Illness and i cant help but morn that. Like if i didnt have my child trauma id probably have a lot milder anxiety and depression which is #Keeping from doing most things... Id still have my autistic and add struggles but i want to imagine I'd manage to accomplish more if #My dep and anx wasn't this bad bc of my past... I hate how my mentality was wrecked before i even knew how to count to 100 #And sooo many years of my childhood just feeling bad and even suicidal (first time i mentioned wanting to die in my diary i was 10-11...) #Just struggling so many years mentally and since i was so young i couldn't make the connection why i was feeling like it? Like the first #Time i started considering why etc i was already like 16.... I didnt think it was weird to cry every single day as long as i can remember #Now at 25 i am still a crybaby but i do it weekly instead. Its just so ... Weird and sad. You dont understand how serious something was #That happened to you and how it affected you until youre almost an adult... And you start to understand that its not just all on you #Its not just your fault youre struggling so much. Youre not just being lazy and difficult ... God Just wish someone protected me when #It mattered . I know my past could have been worse i could have been treated a lot worse and abused more and still to this day it makes me #Feel iffy or bad to claim i was abused? I mean... I was? But cant help to feel my trauma and experiences is not as serious as others #Like i wasnt sexually abused for example or abused by my parents... And i know many have so i feel its not my ... Right to say anything ? #Like my brothers mentally abused me for years and physically from time to time but it could be so much worse #Idk where im going with this i need to go to my vourses instead im crying in the bathroom like stop #Negative

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

i think i saw you talk about picayune a bit on your twitter! i was wondering about it if you’re willing to give your thoughts. i heard it was similar to that one game that’s called the void rains upon her heart, at least from a friend of mine.

hi anonymous; although i say i could gush about it: i mostly said everything i:d want to on the twitter already, but yeah: i love it, it:s a sneaky "top game of the year" for me, i think, and is one of those passion-projects (?) that just feels as though it carries with it a-lot of love for game design and just the act of creating games; i:d put it like this: i really enjoy survivors-type games because they:re dopamine-traps that just give me skinners-box gratification when i:m struggling to get through a day, but as a genre the games are very formulaic and usually seem like they:re 1) cynically made because the formula is hot + can make some easy cash for little effort since the game-design aspect is just laid out like clean providence 2) made a little more earnestly but usually for a developer as an exercise which happens to also be probably decently lucrative -- and both of these prior points lead to pretty stale experiences, but dopamine-trap experiences that i like all-the-same, as-well: due to me just not having a lot of money outside of my weekly grocery budget, i don:t really let myself spend money on non-grocery things, so: looking @ picayune dreams i was hit with this mix of "this looks awesome" and "i know this formula and the gloss is just going to be another stale 100% achievement grind that:ll eat up my time but leave me mad at myself for wasting $5 when i need groceries" -- but it had a demo, and (happily) the demo betrayed my cynicism and just oozed with sincerity on behalf of the developers, so: i bought it.

it:s a very good blend of shmup/bullet-hell type gameplay and the standard survivors-genre, and although i don:t think it:s the best gameplay in either genre, the experience as one whole is executed perfectly for what it is: it unfolds and never seems lazy in its effort or gameplay; the obtuse mechanics are fun to figure out; the story segments (while super iterative of yume nikki type rpgmaker stuff) have this razor-sharp conciseness for the vibe it wants you to feel that i really enjoy (it reminds me of scientology, archangel:nemesis in a weird way: because the breadth of the plot centers around being selected to save a humanity that is trapped down here on earth, sort-of indifferent to your mission -- and i think it creates this plot really beautifully despite using very little words or demanding a lot of your time (<- this point here is key for me, cause i have northernlion syndrome of nearly no-longer having patience for games that want me to stare at some story for a long time, or hit you with tutorials before gameplay, or whatever: picayune dreams just goes and trusts you to figure it out)).

i haven:t played it much lately, cause (if it had one fault, which is more just my user-experience than the devs) the runs can get to be longer than i have patience for (you can loop and at this point you:re getting close to an hour run), so i end up self-destructing when i get bored;

i:d encourage anyone to give the demo a try, or just look at the steam-page and take in the art direction -- it:s a game that probably won:t let you down if it even /slightly/ looks interesting to you, & i still feel a rush of goosebumps when the final song comes in during the last boss; it:s just solid (void rains upon her heart is another one of these great games for me but i 100%'d it earlier in the year and have just been waiting for the dev to add more content; that:s another game that i think more people should give love to because it blends shmup+roguelite formula better than any other attempt i:ve played and also never really let my expectations as a player down as i trusted it to unfold with content and excitement -- because that:s what i like about this trend of roguelite/meta-progression in games: games that use these are like constantly wanting to award you with more because it:s like they are just so eager to spend time with you and don:t want to let you down (at the least cynical)).

at the moment though i:m just playing DCSS cause i:m back in a "everything feels pretty dull and colorless at the moment" spell -- but again: that:s why i love stuff like picayune dreams and sci-fi harry; occasionally stuff surprises you with its love, its passion, and you can:t help but let yourself be affected, and i like being affected.

take care.

#picayune dreams

[solardee]

Dawn of a New Dream - Chapter 1

Long ago, two races ruled over the earth; HUMANS and MONSTERS.

They did not always get along. Presumptions, concerns, stereotypes caused endless friction amongst the various creatures of the earth, even if they happened not to abide by those two strict categories.

And indeed, there were those caught up in the strife that did not abide.

Deep in the core of the forest Heorte were two such creatures. The woods dense with gnarled tree roots, pulsing steadily with life and magic in every leaf. Sunlight trickled in from the canopy above in a lazy pattern that begged one to take a rest under the branches. 

It was idyllic. It was perfect.

A sneeze rings out amongst the plant life, startling several small creatures from their resting places as a tiny skeleton monster sits up from the roots and scrubs at his nasal ridge. Clad in pink and yellow, a golden crown like a sunrise sitting haphazardly on his skull, the babybones rubbed his sockets a bit to shake off the residual sleepiness in his limbs.

“Huh? Did I fall asleep?” he asked seemingly to no one, small voice echoing in the forest clearing in front of him.

“Well, you weren’t awake,” drifted a softer voice from above. Another skeleton was there, dressed in soft lavender and blue with a silver crown that honored the setting sun. He was leaning against the trunk calmly as he sat on the branch, legs dangling beneath him with a slight sway as if he'd been kicking them out before the other below him had woken.

“Hmf! Well maaaaaybe I just had my eyes closed, Dusk!” the pink skeleton replied, crossing his arms in front of his puffed out chest. Canary yellow eyelights peered up into the apple laden branches, failing to appear as grumpy as the babybones clearly wanted them to be.

Dusk above snorted, lavender eyelights glittering with mirth as he looked down, “Uhuh, so do you snore with your sockets closed for fun now Dawn?”

“I don’t snore!” Dawn shouted back with righteous indignity.

“Yeah you do, you just did!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too, times infinity!” 

Dawn gasped, scrambling to his feet as he glared up at his brother in the tree canopy, “That’s not fair, you can’t use ALL the numbers!”

“Can too~” Dusk grinned, wiggling lightly in place and clearly pleased with himself, “it’s not my fault you can’t count that high.”

Dawn made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a raspberry being blown, and Dusk stuck his tongue out at the other in kind.

“Alright that’s it! I’m coming up there right now!” the pink skeleton huffed, stomping his foot before clambering over to the tree and taking hold.

“Nuh-uh, it’s my turn up here now, the tree agrees with me!” Dusk argued back as he pressed his magic into the branch he was seated upon. The vines dangling from the canopy gently came to life, wrapping around Dawn like a weighted wisteria colored blanket to drag him back to gnarled roots.

“Hey-! That’s-! Cheating!!”

“See? I win, baby brother~”

Dawn struggled against the vines as they pressed him against the mossy forest floor, squirming like the misbehaving toddler he was (even if he was 6 now, far too big to be a toddler in his opinion no matter what Dusk said). With as much determination as his bones could muster Dawn freed his hand from the tangled mess of fauna and smacked it into the base of the tree. Soft yellow magic bloomed upwards, trailing yellow trumpet flowers in its wake on the trunk until it reached the branch his brother sat upon, and then-

“Eeeeek!”

Dusk’s squeal of surprise rang sharply through the forest as he tumbled to the ground below, Dawn’s magic having shaken the branch to knock him off. He collapsed into a soft pile of yellow flora beside the wisteria wrangled mess of his brother. Startled lavender eyelights stared up at the forest ceiling before Dusk twisted his head to lock eyes with his brother, giving him the angriest pout glare he could muster. Dawn responded in kind.

The glaring contest only lasted thirty seconds before peals of laughter echoed through the trees, golden and royal purple apples shimmered in the dappled sunlight from above.

#Undertale AU #UTMV AU #Dreamtale AU #Undertale Equiverse #UTEV #Dawn!Dream #Dusk!Nightmare #Dee Drabbles #Dawn of a New Dream #UTEV Cannon #Decided fuck it I'm writing this now #Even if it's only going to be in little snippet sized pieces like this #Otherwise I'm never going to make anything while agonizing over comic panel placements #Welcome to my excuse for Dreamtale Worldbuilding #Enjoy! #I've also started throwing this on AO3 for better formatting

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

#asks #sharcbait #andrew cho #giant fucking ass-long lore post ig #bless your fucking SOUL if you read it all im your biggest fan #basically andrew's entire story pretty much i guess #oops just kinda typed it up in an ask #sighs one day ill write it/draw it proper

[loyal04]

Actually offense. The Percy Jackson Tv show had no suspense. Everything was stated out right we never got to wonder or be suspicious/surprised because everything was stated. Some Examples Medusa, The fates, Furies, EVEN CRUSTY FOR GODS SAKES. There was no build up, even the Summer solstice failed. It was supposed to be a DEADLINE but they went passed it and brushed that off in one convo with Zeus. Hades complete mood switch???? Why was Athena so petty?? Like yes Athena is most likely petty but she wouldn’t take a risk like that its, NOT smart.

Dont get me started on the last episode Traitor reveal. NO SUSPENSE No dramatic drop just. “Your the lightning thief..” LIKE BRO WHAT WHERES MY 60 SECONDS.

Im sorry to say this but I wasn’t content or happy with the tv show. Even the Cgi was weird and the fighting was terrible. The sparing they did with Luke and Percy was the best fight scene in that while show… and that is just sad. Even the fight with ARES was underwhelming. Im hoping they’ll take this criticism and really change that for season two I want dramatic drops, build up, TIME TO BREATH. MAYBE EVEN A LONG FIGHT? They drop so much lore and so fast you don’t have time to digest.

Im pissed about the May lore drop WE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT HER UNTIL BOOK 5. ANNABETH WASN’T EVEN ALLOWED INSIDE (or it was just the kitchen I believe) BUT STILL. Annabeth was almost as clueless as Percy if I remember correctly. Even if she wasnt she doesn’t have the right to spill that secret of Lukes like girl what?? Luke shouldn’t have told about Thalia but still at least she was his friend as well but his trauma about his mom was not yours to share also guilt tripping Hermes??

May’s fate wasn’t even really Hermes fault. He tried to talk her out of it and it was Hades who cursed the oracle in the first place. Im just so upset about all the secrets that were revealed early.

The acting didn’t have much emotion or I felt they portrayed it wrong. For instance Percy reacted to almost everything with the same face. The show was way to dry for my liking. Percy jackson is supposed to be funny. Sally kind of seemed like a mean mom iykwim. I mean she just had no patience for Percy at all and it constantly felt like she was guilt tripping him… no just me??? I get that shes a struggling and single parent but Whattt???? She’s supposed to be supportive, kind and loving. If I met that sally I wouldn’t expect her to sit me down in her kitchen offering us a blanket and cookies.

THEY DID GABE FOWL. They did him so poorly that man did not deserve to die sure he was a dead beat but seriously?? Tartarus would not smell like him. They should have just let him get divorced it would have made sense but turning him to stone?? For what being a lazy, grouchy stepdad??

Gabe in the book was abusive manipulated just a straight up Piece of sewer gunk. He HIT them he abused them and manipulated them into staying quiet. The entire scene with the cops and everything. The guy in the show tho?? He looks like he’d fall over from the raise of a hand bro wouldn’t even be able to throw a punch. He doesn’t even have a job?? He looks like the worst he would do is yell and make fun of you because he’s probably projecting because he’s completely useless but deserving death?? He was more of a nuisance he didn’t deserve to die being divorced and alone forever I can’t understand but seriously??

Also the Percabeth slow burn… they’re pushing it they were just friends in the first book maybe in the second we start getting into it. But seriously the first season? She just started opening up to him in the first book. WE DIDN’T EVEN GET THEIR TALK LIKE UGH WHAT I wanted the Annabeth backstory about her dad but they didn’t have the convo about her going home for the summer we didn’t get into it. They’re overcooking my 5 book long slow burn.

They stuffed to much into too short of episodes that we didn’t get time to breath or get to know our characters. It was just a one minute battles here and there, a few conversations about impending doom and Percy being sad about his mom like. I know I’m being Petty but they should have split most of those episodes into two so we had more time to learn about our characters or digest the info dumps. The first episodes had me reeling I swear my head was swirling. The characters themselves didn’t have time to breath “Oh your claimed by poseidon now you have to go on a deadly quest to find the master bolt everyone thinks you stole but we think hades stole it also he probably has your mom.” Why are they shoving everything in our face. Percy in the books had 3 DAYS to come to terms with his parentage but show percy had like a day AT MOST.

I don’t know, they just could have done so well but they didn’t. I swear Mikey mouse must have tied Rick to a chair no way he said yeah this is amazing or a good script decision. THERE WERE SO MANY PLOT HOLES or decisions that didn’t make any sense.

#pjo tv show #pjo tv series #opinion #just an opinion #dont need to agree it is just what I think #pjo spoilers #pjo series #show criticism #pjo show criticism #I apologize if I offended anyone

[blu-joons]

When You Absentmindedly Trace Against Him ~ Got7 Reaction

Mark:

Your hand was in a world of its own as you trailed it through Mark’s hair. Whilst he was completely aware of what you were doing, you were unaware, a quality of yours that always managed to make him smile.

“You’re doing it,” he told you, knowing you knew exactly what he was on about.

“Playing with your hair,” you laughed, never failing to surprise yourself at what an absentminded hobby it had become.

“I’d love to figure out how your hand moves into my hair without you even realising it,” Mark laughed back across at you, “it’s like you’re being controlled.”

A chuckle came from you at the same time too, “I think it’s your fault for having hair that I just want to play with. I love being able to just play with your hair and relax.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of sitting here and having you play with my hair,” Mark smiled, tilting his head back to look at you.

“I don’t think I’ll tire of you playing with my hair too,” you responded straight away, catching the smile that was on Marks’ face.

“I definitely say carry on then.”

Jay B:

The feeling of your hand moving against his brought a shy smile to Jaebum’s face as he settled down for the night. As soon as he looked at you, he could tell that you were almost gone, with sleep not too far away.

“Would you ever stop doing this unless I told you to?” He suddenly asked you.

“Doing what?” You quizzed in reply, too tired and too stressed to really realise what it was that you were doing.

“You’ve been tracing my hand for ages,” Jaebum informed you, watching your fingertip continue to go round and round and circles in the centre of his palm.

A hum came from you as you glanced down and realised what it was that you were doing too. “I do it so subconsciously, I’d probably never realise to stop these days.”

“Does it help you sleep?” Jaebum then asked you, intrigued as to how much drawing against him actually helped you.

“It does,” you confidently informed him in response, “it’s like my own little distraction, shutting me off from the rest of the world.”

“In that case, I’ll keep distracting you.”

Jackson:

His eyes had been on you for some time, noticing just how distant you were. Jackson had waited, feeling you drawing lightly against his arm until finally you seemed to come to reality, looking across at him.

“What are you thinking?” He asked you straight away, knowing you were fretting.

“Just work,” you hummed, trying your best to forget about it and stop yourself stressing out about things so much.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Jackson then offered, knowing that talking to him would hopefully make things easier for you, rather than bottling things up.

Your shoulders shrugged in reply to him, too clouded and sleepy to really know what it was that you wanted. “Everything just feels so confusing right now for me.”

“I get it,” he sympathised, “but you don’t need to be absent, you know that I’m here if you want to talk to me.”

“I do,” you agreed, smiling weakly across at Jackson as his worried eyes still watched you closely, “ad you know that I’ll be alright?”

“I do, but I always worry about you.”

Jinyoung:

The drawing of your fingertips in Jinyoung’s hand soon began to get lazy as you struggled to keep your eyes open. It was something that he picked up on too, looking to you as a break came in the drama.

“Why don’t you close your eyes?” Jinyoung suggested, making you jump.

“I’m not tired,” you tried to protest, blinking several times in an attempt to try and keep your eyes wide open.

“You’re not concentrating at all anymore,” Jinyoung told you, glancing at your hand over his, “if you got any sleepier than you’d stop drawing on me now you know.”

Your head shook as Jinyoung sent you a knowing glance. “I want to stay awake with you,” you admitted, as his head shook too, knowing how tired you were.

“Don’t stay awake for me,” he whispered, “if you need to rest then you need to rest, you’ll tire yourself out more.”

“Stop making good points,” you joked, shuffling to rest your head against Jinyoung’s shoulder, “it’s impossible to argue when you use logic.”

“Just admit it, you know I’m right.”

Youngjae:

A sudden laugh made you jump, glancing to your left to where Youngjae was. His body was wriggling everywhere, with you unaware of your hand tracing against his waist that was beginning to make him giggle.

“That tickles,” Youngjae told you as he glanced back and met your eyes.

“What does? Me?” You quizzed, realising that your hand was hovering exactly over Youngjae’s ticklish spot.

“You’ve been drawing circles around my waist for the past half an hour,” Youngjae explained to you, “I’ve been holding back my laughter worried that you were asleep.”

Your head shook in reply to him, “I’ve not been asleep, I guess I’ve just been off in my own little world for a little while, thinking about all sorts of different things.”

“Are you alright though?” Youngjae asked, his laughter stopping as his eyes looked to you with slight concern.

“I’m good,” you assured him, bringing a smile to your face too. “I’ll try and not tickle, you need to try and sleep, not spend the night laughing.”

“It’s your fault for tickling me Y/N.”

BamBam:

A yelp came from BamBam as he felt several strands of hair be pulled a little too roughly. The noise made you jump, looking down at the same time that he looked up at you whilst tucked up into your side.

“Do you mind?” BamBam chuckled, noticing just how tired your eyes were.

“What did I do?” You asked, completely unaware that you were the reason for the sudden sharp pain that BamBam felt.

“Did you not realise that you were playing with my hair?” BamBam asked with a chuckle at how unaware you were. “You’ll make me bald if you’re not careful.”

Your eyes glanced down to see your hand resting against the top of BamBam’s head. “Sorry, I had no idea that I was even playing with your hair. Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

“I’ll survive,” he teased in reply to you, “just try and not daydream when you play with my hair next time?”

“I think I can do that,” you joked back in response to him. “I hate to think of the trouble that I’ll get into if I start pulling strands of your hair out anyway.”

“And that will just be my mum.”

Yugyeom:

A smile came from you as Yugyeom began to draw against your arm just like you were doing to him. With the two of you facing each other, you were absentminded in the patterns that you drew over his arm.

“This is cute,” Yugyeom whispered, beginning to get a little bit shy around you.

“Us?” You asked, drawing yourself out of your daydream to look across at the grin that was on Yugyeom’s face.

“You had no idea that you were lost in your own little world then, did you?” He asked, knowing you all too well as you escaped in the comfort of Yugyeom’s presence.

A shy nod of the head followed from you, “I was just comfortable, and I’m so used to drawing against you, especially with all of your tattoos these days, I can’t ignore them.”

“Shall I turn around?” Yugyeom proposed, “you’ll be able to draw against my back if you want to if I do that.”

“You’re alright,” you smiled in reply, “I enjoy drawing on your arm, and I think I could get used to feeling your hand tracing against my arm at the same time too.”

“Laying like this sounds perfect to me.”

---

Masterlist

#got7 #got7 imagine #got7 scenario #got7 reaction #got7 reactions #got7 scenarios #mark tuan imagine #jay b imagine #jackson imagine #jinyoung imagine #youngjae imagine #bambam imagine #yugyeom imagine #mark tuan #jay b #jackson #jinyoung #youngjae #bambam #yugyeom #got7 drabble #got7 one shot #got7 fluff #kpop #kpop imagine

[theobjectofyourire]

I do agree with anon that aemond seems to have a bad relationship with sex which is because 13 is too young to have your first sexual experience (Aegon’s fault) and his mother and father relationship (Because if your idea about intimacy and relationships is Viserys and Alicent + your older brother creepy ass of course your perception of the whole thing would be fucked up) and I do like to believe that his first and last experience was at the brothel when he was 13.

Here comes Daemon’s role , he’ll notice how aemond is repulsed by intimacy and sex and he will just go “Okay time to fix this boy.” so he starts to slowly change that and make aemond actually enjoy physical touch and all slowly till aemond consents to having sex with him on his 18th birthday and daemon just makes love to him all night because he deserves to be handled with care this beautiful boy deserves softness and touches that are meant to comfort rather than hurt (I’m too soft for them being soft and fluffy helppp)

Okay now I’m gonna go scream into my pillow because I really need someone to write this and I’m too lazy to actually write (somehow I want my thoughts to write itself and yet I still call myself a writer)

OKAY I'M FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO ANSWERING ALL THESE MARVELLOUS DAEMOND THOUGHTS LETS GOOOOO

firstly anon you aren't alone I think you just described every writer ever. like I wanna take the idea from my mind and plop it down and voila it's perfect. could you imagine? we'd be unstoppable

secondly, the way I am so so soft for touch-starved Aemond. seriously, it's one of my favourite things in the entire world, and the idea of Daemon being gentle with him and giving him all the affection he's sought for so many years is just 😭

you're spot on with Aemond having a really complicated, negative experience with sex and really, extending past that, intimacy in all forms. he didn't see any love in his parent's marriage, though he did see his mother's unyielding devotion to her husband and king. and more than that, neither he nor his siblings received much care from Viserys. even when Aemond lost his eye (not only lost, but had it taken from one of Rhaenyra's sons and I could go on a whole psychoanalysis of this but I'll save that for another post), Viserys showed little concern. he was more upset by the slanders than the violence. could you imagine losing an eye and having no one but your mother defend you? not even your own father? what that must have done to his self worth is nothing short of heartbreaking

then, on top of that, he has an older brother whose behavior is utterly despicable, who puts him in a situation he has no desire to be in and he's forced to experience something before he's ready. you end up with someone who's probably severely repressed because it's the only safety he knows, who views sex as something deeply disquieting at the very least, and who struggles with intimacy in its most base form not only due to his experiences, but also due to people's reactions to his scar.

I feel like when he's grown, he has no idea how stunning he is. how the scar adds to his beauty, how the sapphire is positively mesmerizing. he's used to people viewing him as monstrous, as a freak. he's used to people flinching away from him. he wouldn't know what to do with a soft touch. he wouldn't know what to do when Daemon removes his eye patch and peppers kisses along his scar, telling him how beautiful he is in low murmurs.

Aemond is so touch-starved that the slightest brush of Daemon's fingers is like a kiss from the gods. so exquisite it's almost painful. his body is rigid and unyielding, untrusting of this kindness. it isn't until he presses his lips to the sapphire that Aemond starts to quiver. his body succumbs, the years of repression melting like flesh from bone under the heat of his dragon. his dragon. because in this moment, it's clear as the summer skies. Daemon is his, and he is Daemon's.

a tear falls to his cheek. Daemon wipes it away with his thumb, perhaps before kissing the spot where it fell. his hands are on his waist, sliding to the small of his back as he slowly moves closer, pressing his forehead against his nephew's. he feels so fragile. but Daemon's treating him with such care. such love.

every touch is a gift. every kiss, a mercy, the likes of which he was not granted in his childhood. they trace each other's scars as they explore each other's bodies. this night, they are not warriors. they are artists. poets. immortalizing each other in the softest ways, known and unknown until hurt is forgotten and love encompasses all.

okay I need to add fluffy daemond to my list of fics to write at some point. this hit me in the feels I'm so soft for them😭annnnd now I can't stop thinking about how Daemon would affectionately call him 'taoba' in the sweetest murmurs okay I have to stop before I start sobbing pls keep sending your thoughts tho I love this

#help this is so soft #touch starved aemond is breaking me #soft daemon gets me every time #daemond #daemon x aemond #hotd #hotd headcanon #aemond headcanons #so fluffy #I cannot

[rw47vr-key]

You'll be alright

◆ Characters : Jake x Fem! MC + another character ◆ Summary: a very short imagination snippet,kinda related to episode 10 ◆ Warning: hurt, language etc(Im so sorry, someone's lazy to proof read) (A/N at the end)

"What?do you have a death wish?? Please trust me. Go back to your home!I'm going inside the mine and that's settled. Hurry up!.

"...Remember , I'm doing this only for you and Hannah's safety! ", a tired voice yelled at the other side of the call and hang up without even waiting for a reply.

"Wait! It's not only about the TWO of us!! Dammit Jake! ", MC cursed, almost throwing her phone out of anger and frustration. Anger and frustration that was born in her heart, that was broken and broken repeatedly because of the different harsh realities this guy has put her to struggle in.Despite being aware of it, she kept failing in controlling her heart from loving him.

" Should I even trust him in this? " "One Or other way I am always tangled up with him in my life,does he even know who I really am? Or is he pretending not to know? ", so many thoughts and imaginations flooded her head, she sighed , burying her face in her hands.

She looked at her watch hopelessly,there was only 30 min until jake would reach the mine. She calmed herself down and started her car towards the duskwood forest.

After travelling for what felt like hours, she hopped out of the car and opened the back door.It was so dark around her and she tried her best to not make any evident sound.

"I warned you not to come here", Jake murmered coldly right behind her ear. Surprised by the sudden voice, she screamed a bit louder , for which he hushed and placed his hands on her mouth, assuring her that it was only him, the hacker.

She huffed in relief ,tears ready to fall but then she could see his eyes widen in surprise, as if he saw a familiar figure before him. He blinked a few times,wondering if it was a hallucination.Though it was dark, the warmth and presence was so familiar that he can't understand whether it was real. "No it is her, definitely her, the MC I loved 4 years ago", he thought , slowly taking off his hands from her. She could see him trembling in realisation and he called out her in nickname that he used to call, and she nodded wiping her tears. "Too late in finding out me, Jake.You know, I was very upset that you didn't realise it was my new number, my voice,even though I recognised you right away! And hah! you call yourself a hacker".

He interrupted in a rather pleading voice"No ,no..its not what you think. I only looked for the name of the phone number that hannah sent.I didn't go through much of your personal data. I just ...thought the name was a coincidence.I..."

" you left me alone without a proper goodbye like in those damn old movies", she screamed, which woke up the sleeping baby in the back seat of the car. The baby started crying immediately, she picked him/her up, weeping along with him/her.

Jake gave her a doubtful gaze ,and then looked at the tiny being whose fluffy hair and little nose resembled him ,he realised what the beautiful truth and the life ahead of him he missed and how much of a jerk boyfriend he was to her."I...didn't know. I am..I am sorry. In the end,I was the same as my...", he cried inaudibly and fell on his knees before her. She quickly rushed to hug him before he could say that word. "No! I know why you left. It's not entirely your fault. Please! , I didn't come here for that! Let's leave it to the police! I'm begging you! I am afraid you will leave me and our baby alone! I don't want that! ", all those lonely days' sorrow ached in her heart, she cried on his shoulders,as he pulled her closer and hummed , " I already saved her", and when she became silent after hearing that, he kissed her forehead and also the baby,and continued "And you saved me. I promise I won't leave you again. ", and with that said, he fainted leaning on her.

He was not injured outside anywhere, but the wounds deep inside him were only there, and she could feel it as she gazed at his strong yet fragile body. She whispered as if reciting a wishful prayer,"Don't worry, jake, I promise to take away all your pain".

"Officer! someone's here! Oh there are two, no three of them!Hey! Are you alright, miss? ", A paramedic hurried with a torch in his hand.

She carressed Jake's cheek not taking his eyes off him, and responded with a soft smile "yeah we will be alright. "

A/N: Hii lovelies 💙 yepp,It's been a longg time(also I wrote this on a whim haha).I apologize if there is any mistakes. I know this was unrealistic but if you've read this until the end, thank you😅😭❤Take care! ily!🌸💕

#duskwood #duskwood jake x player #duskwood jake #duskwood MC #I may delete it too jskhgsjjh #duskwood fandom #duskwood everbyte #duskwood fanfiction #iamjake #duskwood episode 10 #writings☆

[nanoland]

Fleabags, by TJ Land

the title: Fleabags

the deets: MLM shifter romance, novella

the blurb: 

Out hunting in the woods one day, Hugo runs into another shifter: a small weasel with a big mouth.

the link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B082ZB68Y5

the extract:

Hugo smelled him before he saw him.

Acrid. Vinegary.

Weasel.

Growling, Hugo’s yellow eyes flicked towards a nearby gooseberry bush. The leaves rustled. A twig snapped.

Hugo lunged.

The weasel shrieked and struggled as he pulled it from under the bush and into the sunlit clearing. It was an ugly beast. Its fur was dirty, one of its ears was torn, and its beady eyes bulged with panic. Briefly, Hugo considered snapping his jaws and ending its miserable life.

But no. Beneath its nasty weasel smell lay the scent of a fellow shifter. Murder wasn’t a proportional punishment for intruding on his territory.

Besides, it would probably make him sick.

Pinning the trespasser to the ground with a paw, Hugo returned to his human form. As soon as his throat was the right shape, he said, “What are you doing here, rodent?”

Trembling, the scruffy little weasel transformed into an equally scruffy little man in his late twenties, his light brown fur becoming light brown skin and his fangs becoming coffee-stained teeth. Not much to look at, on the whole: his pointy chin was unevenly shaven and his dark hair flopped sulkily over his eyes in a misguided attempt at style.

“Don’t eat me,” he whined, crawling back.

Hugo snorted in disgust. “If that was the plan, you’d be in my belly by now. Now explain why you’re trespassing on my pack’s land.”

The weasel squeaked. “Pack?! There’s more of you? Shit, I didn’t know! It’s not my fault! No one put up a sign!”

A sign.

Hugo shut his eyes and growled, “You’re from the city.”

Damn. This happened every time tourist season rolled by. A bunch of idiot city shifters would get the urge to reconnect with a natural world that no longer had a place for them and would descend upon the woods en masse, a handful invariably getting lost and stumbling into the pack’s territory, scaring away the game and pissing in places they weren’t supposed to. Many was the time Hugo had been tempted to gobble one up just to set an example.

“The road’s that way,” he said, pointing west. “Start walking now and you might get there before nightfall.”

With that, Hugo turned to go, already planning a trip to the river to wash off the weasel’s stink.

“Um – haven’t got any grub, have you?” the weasel asked.

Hugo went rigid before turning one of his fiercest glares on him. “You’re serious? You trespass on a wolf’s territory, interrupt his hunt, and now you’re asking me to share my hard-earned food with you? Hunt your own dinner, lazy rodent.”

“Oh, I would,” the weasel assured him, crossing his skinny legs. “I’m a top-notch hunter, me. All my friends say so. Even won a prize for it once. But, y’see, the thing is, I’m an urban hunter. Do my best hunting in alleyways and those sorts of places.”

With a disgusted snort, Hugo said, “You mean you’re a scavenger. No wonder you reek.”

The smaller man frowned. “Bit rude. You don’t exactly smell like a bathtub full of lavender bubbles to me, you know.”

“I’m leaving now.”

The wretch followed him.

“I’m Twitch. What’s your name?” he asked, jogging to keep up.

“Go away,” Hugo growled, and slipped into his wolf form just in case Twitch needed more evidence of his lack of interest in this conversation.

“Not an extrovert, got it. Look, what I’m worried about is making my way back to the road all on my own. I’m not used to all this nature, being a city hunter; don’t know much about it except that it’s full of snakes and quicksand and poison ivy. The point is, ah… could you come with me? Please?”

Hugo set off at a run, disappearing into the trees, confident in the knowledge that neither of Twitch’s forms would be able to keep up.

the cover: 

#books #shifter romance #gay romance #mm romance #lgbtq books #indie publishing #bookblr #writeblr

[attackedastoria]

I have too many feelings

So like, it's bad enough that I'm completely fucking traumatized from my mother having a psychotic break and physically assaulting me multiple times. I spent an entire week monitoring her with barely sleeping because I was honestly terrified of her. And guess what!! I was right to be, because I found MULTIPLE KNIVES hidden in her room she was probably planning to use because I wouldn't let her leave the house! So yes, I am STILL fucking traumatized by that, and no amount of "Oh its just the disease it wasn't really her" IS NOT GOING TO FIX THAT. christ, I still wake up in a cold sweat panicking because I hear a noise that sounds like floorboards creaking, thinking its her. So no, I'm not fucking over it, and no, I don't really wanna go see her in the fucking psychiatric hospital yet. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my mother, my best friend, is essentially dead and some psychotic stranger is wearing her skin. Forgive me if I'm a little fucking fucked up about it.

Oh, but that's not all! Two days after mom is taken away, I get to be informed that my family is selling the house asap, because of course, they failed to get her proper insurance coverage despite assuring me it was all handled. So now they're freaking out about the cost, and they want me out ASAP. Because I have soooo much money to make that happen in the middle of January. Its not like I haven't been able to work properly for 2 years due to taking care of my stepfather, and then my mother. Apparently I'm supposed to just pull housing and money out of my asshole for that! And it's all my fault for not planning properly, you know, when I was under the impression her disease was still being managed well and she had another few years before any worse progression. I should have somehow gotten a job while also looking after her 24/7. Yup.

Also, fuck whatever is going on with my mental health that makes me struggle the entire past year, I'm totally not suffering caretaker burnout, yelling at me is definitely the best motivating course of action.

Luckily, I have a Saint for a best friend willing to give me shelter, but its across the country, so it's going to take some time to plan the move and you know, find a fucking place to live. But oh no, that's not acceptable! You need to be gone ASAP! Also, while you're struggling with your personal housing and mental crisis, please work 12hrs a day packing and cleaning the house so we can put it on the market asap! WORK FASTER YOU LAZY CUNT YOURE NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH, ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO!! God. I've been tempted to really fuck them over by claiming tenants rights so I have longer to prepare, but I know they'd just completely shut me off from moms money which I need right now.

I know they can't wait to get rid of me and never see me again(and honestly, same at this point), but I just... I'm so fucking exhausted. Mental, emotionally, physically. I've had zero time or room to grieve. My entire life is being uprooted with zero preparation or warning. I have to rehome our dog because no one in the family can take him. I'm also sick now with some kind of hell cold. I just... I've contemplated killing myself so many times the past few weeks, because what's the point? I'm tired of being in constant despair. I'm tired of being angry. I'm just fucking TIRED.

Fuck. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest.

[weabooweedwitch]

YOURE SO FREAKING PRETTYYYY MWAH

Fhfjfjfjfj usually i would say "oh my gosh no I'm noooot oh my gooood you're too nice noooo cjfjfjfj" but, to be honest---

Not to sound vain but I really have been feeling a lot better about myself in certain ways. Yeah, I still struggle with a lot of self esteem issues, but like... oh my gosh... those leg surgeries really did change so much? I'm sort of dieting but not really like, GUNNING FOR IT and I'm still visually dropping pounds. Like, ok, so here is the photo I took earlier today

And HERE is a photo I found from my birthday last December

I know the photos are at different angles so its not the best example but like... you can tell i don't have as big of a stomach anymore. And this isn't even about, you know, like, let's not even get into the whole "people who are overweight are just generally treated extremely shitty" and im not like, trying to imply i have more value as a person or anything with less weight but like

I literally fucking grew up not being able to walk and run like regular able bodied people. I literally used to get severe leg cramps and have to stop and take a break walking around a fucking Walmart. We didn't know i was disabled for so many years and there were so many years I was blamed for my weight problem, I thought it was my fault, that it was something I COULD achieve but never worked hard enough? That I was just so fucking lazy? And then I'm told at 21, 22 years old "actually you literally cannot walk regularly, anyone would have significant problems with this condition, can we fix it for you?"

Its just. Its not just about the confidence and the weight. Its about being comfortable with my body in any capacity. Because it was never just that I just didn't like myself visually, I couldn't love myself even functionally. And now I have some of that control back, I just? It feels nice to know that I wasn't really doing anything wrong. This was just something that happened to me and it wasn't my fault and now that the problem has been elimated I can? Take care of myself fine? I'm losing weight? It just. Feels good.

There is one thing that makes me sad still though. And to be honest its probably a thought that stems of our society but like. Ok. You know how uh. How do I phrase this. Im just gonna overgeneralize and you guys can assume the nuance. You know how so many guys just wanna fuck 18 year olds or 21 year olds. Like that there are significant numbers of people that act like once you're past a certain age you're just used goods. I feel so sad because I'm finally losing weight and getting out there more and im. 25 already. That feels so crushing. Its like my window of beautiful youth and being desired was just closed on my face. And I know that isn't the truth! But it gets me down sometimes cause I feel like I'm. Already passed my expiration date

But otherwise! I'm really looking forward to seeing how my body develops in this next year and ever more and im hopefully going to get more confidence and maybe even have a meaningful relationship someday

[iwannabeastarstarrockmann]

i dont fucking know if my thoughts are my own or if ive just been so emotionally and verbally abused each day that im starting to internalize someone elses idea of me. idk what to think lately. im so fucking depressed and anxious and sad like every single day, it hurtsso much, and it fucking sucks that there are people in my life who just view me as a sad sack of shit with no aspirations or value. i never get more than a day to get better from anything before someone in my life is pressuring me to get off my ass and do something productive. dont you know tht there is something seriously wrong with me. idk why i cant do things, i just cant. i wan to be so productive and social, i just cant bring myself to do it right now. i feel so trapped and overwhelmed. do you realize how exhausting it is to wake up everyday with a mind attacking itself, with a body that aches, with a hope that this will be your last day of suffering, with no sense of what it is you need in order for the suffering to stop. i want to scream but i have no energy to. i want to die one minute and then hope to save my own life the next, contradicting every word or thought with an action that is not my own. theres days where my health anxiety is practically non existant and then something will happen, it could be something so nonsensical and somehow ill get triggered or worried and there i go absolutely obsessed with some strange pain or weird tension, or god forbid i actually get infected with something. thats all i could focus on 24/7 until i find some way to make it better, but the worry from the thing that im feeling and wondering about my health, this shit brain decides its so stressful and scary that i should just starve myself, cause if i were skinny, these prooblems wouldnt feel so big, or maybe id be able to go to the doctor if im 2 sizes smaller. that doesnt make any sense. i know it doesnt so why do i do what i do. and then theres the cutting that i feel i have to do or else i wont learn from my mistakes but if i cut myself whenever i impulsively feel like it, then that makes my immune system too weak to fight off whatever i think i have this week so im trying to recover from that as its only making everything more complicated, but its all i can think about, especially in this self loathing state im in now. im such an idiot, im just a sick fuck who cant stop thinking to herself that maybe im faking all this and im actually okay. i think its all my fault for being this way, i dont remember what started all these unhealthy coping mechanisms but it has to have started with a thought right? i feel so ashamed for being this way, it was stupid of me to ever adopt such habits restriction makes me more confident but the constant exercise makes me too weak to go anywhere to show that confidence, and great! now i actually am sick, and my immune system is shit, and my emotional state and self hatred is making it worse, and im too overwhelmed to see anyone in my life who thinks they love me, because i dont want them to see me like this. they wouldnt believe me if i tried to explain that im struggling and need help. ive tried. they dont listen. they dont realize whats important. i know i put em through hell, im selfish, im self centered and dramatic and lazy and gross and undeserving of any love they think they have for me. i dont trust it. dont tell me you love me, you barely know me, the real me, the one i keep locked behind a closed door each night, to contemplate what im going to do about this shit life ive curated for myself. im so tired, im so fucking tired all of the time. i dont know how to keep going. i dont know how to do anything for that matter. im not even going to revise this shit post, im too tired, i just need to announce somewhere, somehow, that im so fucking lost that i dont even know if my thoughts are my own, or what it means to be a person. everyday with this bullshit, now im getting into existential dread territory, im just so sick of my own shit! im sick of myself. why cant i function like everyone else???

i want it to be over, i wish my problems could just be solved without any external help. i just want to wake up tomorrow and for everything to just be okay. i want to feel okay again. i dont need anything fancy, please let me wake up tomorrow with hope of brighter days. its so hard to see the beauty in my life when im being suffocated and pinned down by something invisible. i dont have the capacity to love or care for anyone or anything, and no one can see that i just need a break?? how can you not see me? no one can see, ill show them and they still wont see! they refuse, simply because, they cannot see inside my head and dont care enough to want to. they think they do. i tried to tell them time and time again but i think its just that when i am feeling okay, they dont like the choices i make. when im okay, i make sure i make the most of that time by prioritizing my own happiness over everyone elses, and that really pisses people off! to the point where they want to tear me down and take that light away from me. i didnt ask to be here, now, with all this pressure on my shoulders to be more than what i am. im simply existing. i can feel it. tomorrows gonna be so shit. i can always sense the storm before it comes, i wish i could prevent it, or ease my pain in some way. these substances are nice in the moment but eventually the buzz will wear off and ill just be me again, with nothing to offer. i dont have anything to offer. life is too hard, i gave up so long ago and didnt even realize that is what was happening at the time. i just go through it day by day without fully processing that ill have to wake up the next day. i wish my life was a dream i could wake up from. my brain isnt working right. i dont recognize myself. i hate how alone we all are. every sensation, thought, visual, sound, and taste. you are completely isolated from everyone around you.

[life-with-a-4yearold]

Do you ever get them days where everything seems to annoy you? Anxiety goes through the roof even though there isn’t anything to be anxious for? Days where you feel yourself being miserable but cant snap out of it? When you feel like all you want to do is sleep. When your partner does FUCK all to help! And you feel sooo deflated because all he says is “ive been to work all day” all you wanna do is cry? That’s how im feeling now. All I wanted him to do was bath our daughter and get her pjs on while I finished clearing up dinner and walked the dog. I couldn’t even do that… I just wanted to scream and cry and in all honesty just leave and never come back. I have had enough of being treated like a mug and not being able to do things I wanna do. Id love to be able to sit in piece with a glass of wine watch a couple episodes of my series and scroll through my phone. By the time I have done dinner bathed her walked the dog cleared dinner up had a bath myself and cleaned up toys and whatever else I have had to do, im just shattered! And want to go to bed. Its never ending I feel like im a single mum when im not? I have a partner and no matter how many times I tell him Im struggling or need him to help me he just ignores me. Im on my own and I don’t need to be. Why should I feel like this we should be a team and be able to help each other, I don’t expect him to do everything I just want him to bath and put her pjs on while I clean and clear the kitchen. Is that so much to ask for? Im not sure what I am trying to get at here but I just needed to vent and let it all out.

Im planning on having  day to myself tomorrow, films blankets and snack while she is at play school. Ill do the cleaning I need to do and then that’s it. Im finished may even get a take away so I don’t have to cook, ill probably be called lazy but to be honest I don’t give a flying fuck anymore. Im shattered im stressed and everything is getting on top of me. I feel myself being more moody with my daughter and it isn’t her fault. I have made a camp out for her as that’s what she wanted to do and im able to sit here and write this while my partner lays in bed all nice and peaceful, I sometimes think I make it worse for myself and instead of being just happy I make a major deal out of everything.

Its only 19.06 here and feels like its 01.00 its been such a long and stressful day that I don’t think I could actually handle anything else. Lets hope and early night and some good sleep will make me feel better tomorrow.

Life-with-a-4yearold!

#children #family #motherhood #momlife #kids