#J went from ace to aro

[the-simple-creature]

Take a guess what this tier list is about.

I like to imagine that J, upon becoming a murder drone realized "Wait a minute, it's not the action I hate... IT'S THE PEOPLE!"

#murder drones #murder drones v #murder drones n #murder drones lizzy #murder drones j #murder drones doll #murder drones uzi #murder drones teacher #murder drones sam #murder drones rebecca #murder drones darren #murder drones braiden #murder drones braxton #murder drones beau #murder drones khan x nori #murder drones nori #murder drones thad #murder drones yeva #murder drones tessa #murder drones cyn #murder drones tier list #murder drones james #murder drones louisa #J went from ace to aro #might delete later

[life-of-an-asexual]

ace and aro books

went on a deep dive to find some aspec rep for myself and this is some of what i came up with. not official recommendations since i haven't read most of them, but they exist and i've put several of them on my own TBR list. these are all books i haven't seen on other rec lists, and i've done my best to confirm that the rep is aspec

if any of y'all have read these, feel free to share your thoughts or correct me if i've gotten something wrong

(organized alphabetically by title and separated by age demographic; mixed genres; subject to being updated)

(ftr just because an author is not specified to be ace or aro does not necessarily mean they are allo; i include that info if i happen to come across it, but i am not going out of my way to track down the identities of every single author)

(some of these books contain themes or scenarios that may be triggering for some readers; i have only done research to ascertain the ace/aro rep; if you find certain topics upsetting to read, it is your responsibility to do the research necessary to determine if a book is appropriate for you and to proceed into a story at your own discretion)

updated 3.28.24

~Mod Q

A Milky Way Home by Hsinju Chen = adult, romance; transmasc/cis f biace4panace romance, described as low heat (author is nonbinary)

A Pale Light in the Black by K.B. Wagers = adult, science fiction; asexual MC, various other rep, coast guard in space

Alchemy by Marie S. Crosswell = adult, mystery; asexual lesbian MC, genderbent Sherlock

All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher = adult, romance; ace4ace m/m romance, identity discovery

An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows = adult, fantasy; allosexual aromantic MC in a poly relationship

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon = adult, science fiction; aroace side character, intersex MC, themes of oppression and racism

Blank Spaces & Finding Your Feet by Cass Lennox = adult, romance; both feature asexual MCs (second one features a trans LI)

The Bone People by Keri Hulme = adult, magical realism; aroace MC, themes of family and identity, deals with child abuse

The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia = adult, fantasy; aroace nonbinary MC, queernormative world-building

Catch Lili Too by Sophie Whittemore = adult, fantasy; asexual non-human MC, paranormal murder mystery

Chosen. Again. by J. Emery = adult, fantasy; asexual MC, saves the fantasy world as a teen then has to do it again as an adult

The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong = adult, sci fi-fantasy; asexual MC and found family dynamic

City of Strife by Claudie Arseneault = adult, fantasy; various rep including aspec (author is acearospec)

Coffee Cake by Michaela Grey = adult, romance; asexual MC, m/m relationship, mystery elements

The Crows by C.M. Rosens = adult, horror; ace (and aro?) major character, fucked up eldritch horror

Cupid Calling by Viano Oniomoh = adult, romance; demisexual biromantic MC, m/m romance, dating show setting, super fluffy

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz = adult, science fiction; sapphic ace MC with a robot LI

Devon's Island by Si Clarke = adult, science fiction; aroace POV character, queernormative worldbuilding, various other rep

Eight Kinky Nights by Xan West = adult, romance; gray-ace MC, butch4femme friends-to-lovers, various other rep

Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace = adult, science fiction; aroace MC, dystopia, focus on platonic relationships (author is aroace)

From the Dark We Came by J. Emery = adult, paranormal; demisexual MC, m/m romance, vampires

The Heartbreak Handshake by J.R. Hart = adult, romance; asexual MC with a non-binary LI, fully chaste (author is autistic, adhd, and nonbinary)

How Not to Summon Your True Love by Sasha L. Miller = adult, romance; ace MC and ace LI, paranormal elements

Learning Curves by Ceillie Simkiss = adult, romance; asexual MC in an f/f relationship

Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky = adult, romance; demisexual MC, m/m relationship, mistakenly sent love confessions

Perfect Rhythm by Jae = adult, romance; rural lesbian romance with an asexual LI

Poisoned Primrose by Dahlia Donovan = adult, mystery; asexual autistic MC, middle-aged protagonist (author is autistic)

Rising from Ash by Jax Meyer = adult, romance; asexual MC in an f/f romance

The Romantic Agenda by Claire Kann = adult, romance; asexual MC, fake-dating (author of Let's Talk About Love)

Second Chance by Chelsea M. Cameron = adult/new adult, romance; demi bi MC in an f/f relationship, exes-to-lovers

Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed = adult, romance; demisexual MC in an f/f romance, pure fluff

Squared Away by Annabeth Albert = adult, romance; gray-a/demi MC, m/m romance with child acquisition

Stake Sauce: The Secret Ingredient Is Love. No Really by RoAnna Sylver = adult, paranormal; gray-a MC, deals with trauma

That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert = adult, romance; demisexual MC, fake-dating, m/f age gap romance

Thaw by Elyse Springer = adult, romance; asexual MC, an opposites-attract f/f romance

To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers = adult, science fiction; multiple ace characters, various other rep, space travel

The Trouble by Daria Defore = adult/new adult, romance?; gay aromantic MC, college setting

Upside Down by N.R. Walker = adult, romance; ace4ace m/m romance

We Go Forward by Alison Evans = adult, contemporary; aroace MC, centralized friendship

Werecockroach by Polenth Blake = adult, science fiction; aroace MC, deals with mental disability, also there are aliens

~

Common Bonds = anthology, speculative fiction; stories that highlight aromanticism and focus on platonic relationships

Goddess of the Hunt by Shelby Eileen = poetry, mythology; an exploration of Artemis being aroace

Queerly Loving = anthology, various genres; asexual and aromantic rep, various other rep including trans, polyamorous, and platonic relationships

~

A Dark and Starless Forest by Sarah Hollowell = young adult, paranormal; various rep including ace-spec, chosen family dynamic

Aces Wild: A Heist by Amanda DeWitt = young adult, thriller/mystery; several asexual characters

Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace = young adult, science fiction; aroace MC (according to author)

The Art of Saving the World by Corrine Duyvis = young adult, science fiction; asexual MC

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp = young adult, mystery; asexual (and aro?) MC

Belle Revolte by Linsey Millery = young adult, fantasy; biromantic ace MC in an f/f romance

Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria = young adult, fantasy; major ace character, various other rep, centralized platonic relationship

Beyond the Black Door by A.M. Strickland = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC (demi-biromantic according to author)

Clariel by Garth Nix = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC, prequel to the Old Kingdom series

Dare Mighty Things by Heather Kaczynski = young adult, science fiction; asexual (and arospec?) MC

The Facts and Legends of Callie Catwell by Sophia DeRise = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC with lesbian LI

Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor = young adult, fantasy; several aspec characters

Forward March by Skye Quinlan = young adult, contemporary; asexual lesbian MC

Fourth World by Lyssa Chiavari = young adult, science fiction; demisexual MC and asexual MC (author is aroace)

From Under the Mountain by C.M. Spivey = young adult, fantasy; demisexual lesbian MC, aspec secondary characters

Good Angel by A.M. Blaushild = young adult, graphic novel; angel characters where asexual, aromantic, and agender are the assumed default but is explored with nuance

Help Wanted by J. Emery = young/new adult, fantasy; questioning aspec MC (and gender questioning)

Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie = young adult, science fiction; aroace MC, various other rep

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark = young adult, contemporary; asexual POV character, friendship dynamic with "fuck the rich" vibes

Island of Exiles by Erica Cameron = young adult, fantasy; asexual (secondary?) character, various other rep including intersex

It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano = young adult, contemporary; asexual-questioning MC, gray-a side character, deals with a toxic friendship

The Last 8 by Laura Pohl = young adult, science fiction; aromantic MC, alien invasion apocalypse

Little Black Bird by Anna Kirchner = young adult, fantasy; questioning aspec character

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee = young adult, romance; trans male MC with asexual LI, m/m romance, fake dating

Meet You By Hachiko by Loren Greene = young adult, contemporary; aroace-spec MC, focus on friendship

Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko = young adult, fantasy; asexual secondary character, centralized platonic relationship

The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath = young adult, historical; asexual MC, emphasized friendship, all main characters are also disabled

The Rhythm of My Soul by Elin Dyer = young adult, mystery; aroace MC, ballet academy setting

Running with the Pack by A.M. Burns and Caitlin Ricci = young adult, contemporary; ace LI, polyamorous romance

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand = young adult, horror; asexual POV character (all MCs are also sapphic), themes of grief, paranormal elements

Sea Foam and Silence & The Ice Princess's Fair Illusion by S.L. Dove Cooper = young adult, fairy tale; queerplatonic retellings in verse

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow = young adult, science fiction; demisexual (biromantic) MC, post-alien invasion dystopia

Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman = young adult, contemporary; asexual (and aro?) MC, deals with family death

The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, themes of family trauma and multiracial identity

Switchback by Danika Stone = young adult, thriller; aroace MC, survivalist situations

Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor = young adult, steampunk; aroace MC, various other rep, cat-and-mouse game

That's Not What Happened by Kody Keplinger = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, deals with the aftermath of a school shooting

This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria = young adult, fantasy; aroace MC (author is aroace)

Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver = young adult, fantasy; aromantic (and ace?) MC, f/nb queerplatonic relationship

Vanilla by Billy Merrell = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC, m/m relationship, coming-of-age

What We Devour by Linsey Miller = young adult, fantasy; asexual MC (biromantic according to author)

Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt = young adult, contemporary; asexual MC

~

A-Okay by Jarad Greene = middle grade, graphic novel; asexual MC, deals with self-discovery and body image

Come Drink With Me, Gold and Jasper, East Flows the River by Michelle Kan = all ages?; described as aromantic chinese fairy tales

The Dragon of Ynys by Minerva Cerridwen = all ages, fairy tale; aroace MC (author is aroace)

Hazel's Theory of Everything by Lisa Jenn Bigelow = middle grade, contemporary; questioning aroace MC, themes of self-discovery

The Faerie Godmother's Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle = all ages?, fairy tale; major aroace character, focus on friendship

#representation #original post #asexual #aromantic

[libbytwq]

wowie i did it! I drew sonic designs for if he were in each shatterverse!

Im very proud of them, they look so skrungly

Also this was a challenge for me, i just kinda made up their designs as i went along with no references and no premade color palettes

Heres the post where i first made the idea:

Anyway, closeups + character info below

(Keep in mind, these characters exist in a timeline where the prism was never shattered)

Renegade Blur, the Sonic of the New Yoke City Shatterverse

I took some design element inspo from Knucks, with the scars and the lil spine dent thingies

He is incredibly reckless and very loud and overconfident (his scars are from being reckless and stupid)

He is kinda similar to Chaos Sonic tbh

He stops at nothing to defeat his enemies, even when his body cant take another hit

He can be a lil bit overbearing, but when it counts, his heart is usually in the right place

He works with Rebel and Knucks, and sometimes they don't get along but they can trust Blur usually

Loves races and is a sore loser

He's also never met Nine, but if he were to meet Nine, he'd be able to get along with him, but would side with the Rebels and agree he can't always be trusted

Very violently aro/ace, he do his own thing and doesn't like the idea of being bogged down by another person he has to take care of

Quill, the Sonic of the Boscage Maze Shatterverse

Took some design inspo from Gnarly and Thorn, as well as the facepaint from Prim

He can be a lil nervous and underconfident, and doesnt know he can run fast (hes a lil bit klutzy - if he runs too fast he trips on something and falls over, so he doesnt run too fast typically)

He loves his friends! He hates getting abandoned

He typically hangs out with Prim, Gnarly, Hangry and Mangey above the forest, but he does hang out with Thorn occasionally below the treetops (the rest of the group has no idea)

Thorn scares him a lot. He is so afraid of her, but he sticks around cuz they do actually care about each other, but they refuse to admit it

Quill is usually the one that the group sends below the forest, cuz he is able to grab some food without immediately getting sent up by Thorn and Birdie

If Thorn ever catches him taking berries, Quill is usually able to explain himself, and Thorn usually lets him off the hook

Quill and Thorn like each other (shhhh dont tell anyone i said that, not even quill knows he likes her)

Mangey is one of his best buds! They get along so well and no one knows why

Has never heard of the idea of relationships, but he has these weird fuzzy feelings for Thorn that he cant identify, hm must be nothing

Sexuality? Whats that?

Aklesh, the Sonic of the No Place Shatterverse

This one was my fav to design. I took a lot of inspo from a lot of the No Place characters, and "Aklesh" is Sanskrit for "Swift Lord"

The shiny rings and accessories are the colors of his friends - Red for Dread, Yellow for Sails, Pink for Black Rose, and Purple for Batten

His bandana on his head is yellow to go along with how Sails's bandana is blue

He just loves vibing with his crew, he gets along well with everybody - Sails and Dread are his besties tho

He's perfectly fine with being lazy and not doing anything everyday, but when the time calls, he's more than happy to be a swashbuckling pirate

Surprisingly, he is not afraid of water

He loves his colorful shiny accessories and is a bit of a collector

The peacemaker of the group, he settles disputes and suggests that the answer isn't through violence - but if the answer is to use violence, like if another pirate ship raids them, he won't stop fighting until he is victorious

Kind of unofficially unspokenly the second in command to Dread

Raging pansexual. Kind of a slut, with how he keeps his shirt half open /j

Aklesh thinks Dread is very very neat (and they were crewmates wink wink). Dread has no clue

ok thats all i needed to say, hope ya like it

#clip studio paint pro #digital art #my art #sonic prime #sonic au #sonic oc #blur the hedgehog #quill the hedgehog #aklesh the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog

[oscconfessions]

Sigh... I'm gonna add my two cents about the Balloon arospec drama(I'm AroAce BTW) and by my two cents I mean I'll mention it two times and just talk about something else related. I'll also be providing some knowledge about AroAceness and all that.

For those of you who don't know,

Aro: Aromantic - Little to no romantic attraction.

Ace: Asexual - Little to no sexual attraction.

Aro+Ace are spectrums and aren't just "every Aro person doesn't feel any kind of romantic attraction" or "every Ace person can't feel sexual attraction." I feel as tbough people forget that all the time so I wanted to remind you lot haha.

I'm noticed this kind of drama a few times, where people argue about a character on where they are on the AroAce spectrum. It's difficult for me to put what I think into words here, but if a character(either canon AroAce or not) doesn't have a canon placement on the spectrum then whatever, go wild.

To help with my previous statement, I'll use SakiK from... SaikiK. People generally agree he's AroAce, yet people argue about where he is on that spectrum(mainly the Aromantic part). Since it's not ever stated where he is on that spectrum(or even if he is AroAce but SHHHSHSHHSH 🤫🤫), everyone has their own interpretation of it.

I believe it should be the same for Balloon, unless Balloon comes on screen and says "I am *insert very specific thing here* " as he points to a picture of the Aro spectrum then its to to you. Obviously, don't make him a sex crazed fiend or constantly searching for love, you eejit, but it should be up to interpretation.

A little off-topic here, sorry, but I wanted to bring up umbrella terms in both the Aro and Ace spectrums(I'm included ace because eh why not! This is for my people who HC Balloon as Aro AND Ace 🙏🙏)

Here are some terms under both the aro and ace spectrums. I feel as though you guys and many, MANY others tend to forget that there are umberlla terms for AroAce. I'll define them below:

Ace umbrella:

Aceflux: someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum

Greysexual: only experience sexual attraction some of the time, and sometimes not at all.

Demisexual: An individual who does not experience sexual attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Aro umbrella:

Aroflux: someone whose romantic orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the aromantic spectrum

Greyromantic: Some may feel a strong emotional connection with others but do not desire romantic relationships, while others may feel a weak romantic attraction to some people but not all.

Demiromantic: An individual who does not experience romantic attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Now, there are MANY more, feel free to add in the replies or the reblogs (o: !

Also, my apologies that this post was very long! Also also, my personal opinion on Balloons arospec thing? Idfk, lmao. TBH, this was kinda an excuse to just talk about stuff I like and am interested in so... 👍I've seen the tweet where one of the people who worked on II said yes, Balloon is meant to be Aro, but I couldn't tell you if they went into specifics about it. Sorry for constantly saying AroAce instead of just aro for Balloon, I felt like it was still important to include all my asexuals out there and educate others about it.

(BTW! Any inaccurate info, PLEASE, PLEASE correct in the replies)

Anyway!

TL;DR:

If a character who is just stated to be AroAce(not demi, grey, flux ETC) and never has their place on the spectrum explained whatsoever, it's okay to have a little fun experimenting with it IYKWIM. As I've stated, we all have our own interpretation of the AroAce character and there's no point arguing about it and getting mad because that's fucking stupid, unless they start actively getting rid of the AroAce rep then burn them to the stakes! /j

I know how wild you mother fuckers can be, so don't shank me please. If you disagree, take a deep breath and remain calm because getting all pissy about this isn't gonna do shit. Try to go about it calmly and reasonably. <3

I'd love to see others' opinions on this, remember to be respectful! 🩵

.

#confession #/ii #/ii/balloon

[magicmindless]

Can you do Papa himself?

nooooooo I have to take this man seriously now/j

I’m just kidding I did it (though tbh I don’t think about him much but I think I did decently)

A HC list but it’s just Papa Louie

The man the myth the legend

- To the public eye, he’s seen as a friendly, generous man by most, albeit questionable with his business choices at best. If it weren’t for Quinn, he’d be facing multiple lawsuits at the moment

- Those closest to him can describe him best, and they all say similar things like how he probably means well but it’s sometimes overshadowed by his impulsiveness, and trouble of thinking things through

- He started his business alongside Roy in the small space below of what would become Papa’s apartments, choosing to make pizza since it was relatively hard to mess up. Some customers like Wally and Allan were already there but more come to live in the apartments later

- For a guy running multiple fast-food chains and therefore getting tons of money, he lives in a pretty normal house which is located in a quieter area of Tastyville

- He’s childhood friends with Professor Fitz who was his neighbor. Their relationship is best described as the free spirit and the “straight-man”, and it’s still exactly like that to this day

- Went to a private elementary school because his mother worked there as a teacher. He met Jojo as a friend, however after elementary school they’d part ways to different schools and didn’t meet again ‘til the Taco Mia era

- Big LGBTQA+ ally, though there’s a possibility that he could fall under the aro/ace umbrella. He’s not sure but doesn’t dwell on it much

- He’s always up to date on Fitz’s latest discoveries on warp coins and Ripley’s Munchmore expeditions ever since the previous incidents which involve Radley Madish and other food baddies. He doesn’t let his guard down when it comes to that sort of thing

- He’s like a second father to Roy and Joy and occasionally his other workers, but he tends to take the sibling duo on surprise trips sometimes to other cities or regions of the land. It’s typically work for Louie but also a free vacation for the siblings

- He’s a bit traumatized from when Sarge invaded and kidnapped his customers and when Radley had kidnapped him twice. He doesn’t talk much about the invasions either because of bad memories

- Believe it or not he’s not a violent person, he only ever fought in the platformers because he had no other choice

- Really bad at telling if people are in relationships or not. Of course if there’s obvious signs like wedding bands he can tell, but if isn’t then he’ll just be like “wow what great best friends” until told otherwise

- There’s only one food that he heavily dislikes which is goat cheese

- He’s the only person who knows that Joy is Ninjoy, but he’s never told her because he doesn’t want to worry her

- Other hobbies he likes are mini-golf and bowling. He’s gotten pretty good at both

- Also a fan of gardening, mainly herbs and vegetables. He gets his herb gardening tips from Big Pauly

- He hides a lot of secrets for his own well-being, and that of others, and Fitz is the only person he’d trust to keep them

- When asked about what he thought of Mortadello, he stated that he actually felt kinda bad for him. Sure, he brought himself to his ultimate downfall (with Louie acknowledging that he was also responsible in a way) but he thinks Mortadello is just troubled, plain and simple

#asks #yakkolicious #papa louie #papa louie headcanons #flipline studios

[shuubah]

Koisenu Futari Review by a Fellow AroAce

Disclaimer: anybody commenting to tell aros and aces how to feel or their two cents on what’s wrong with us will be blocked right away. 🖤

    2023 has just begun, and the calendar has already changed to the later part of February. It’s that time of the year again. I bet you’re thinking I’m talking about the infamous Valentine’s Day that has already passed 10 days ago. But no, I’m talking about Aromantic Awareness Week that spans from this 19th to 25th February, today. I’m mad amused that it falls in this so-called ‘month of love’. I’ve been awaiting it since last year to finally write a review for the J-drama Koisenu Futari, and I couldn’t ask for a better timing! Oh, love is in the air? I’ve arrived to spray anti-love aerosol! Right about when the others were busy posting in celebration of 14th February, I started writing this in order to make the existences of aros and aces known to more people. Beware of little spoilers here and there in the review. It’s no big deal though, watching the happenings firsthand is more important than the end results for this story.

   Koisenu Futari begins with the fateful encounter of two people who feel neither romantic nor sexual attraction. Kodama Sakuko always feels out of place whenever the topic of romance comes up. It doesn’t help that she’s a grown up woman with a younger sister who’s already married and has a child. Her mother’s continual insistence for her to follow the same path soon makes even the time with her dear family feel oppressive. To make the matters worse, her coworkers harbor the same mindset, with seemingly no place for platonic mingling. Thanks to her job though, she crosses paths with the retail employee Takahashi Satoru, who happens to make an off-handed remark that there’re people in this world who don’t fall in love. It leaves an impression on Sakuko.

   Meanwhile, she plans to share an apartment with her friend and move out of home to escape her mom’s nagging, only to be ditched by the said friend later because apparently she got back with her ex-boyfriend. Frustrated by her inability to fathom people’s fascination with romance, Sakuko searches on the internet about it in the hopes of finding something for better understanding. There, she discovers about aromantic and asexual people for the first time in her life, and feels a connection with the terms. She puts two and two together, speculating that the employee she met in the supermarket just the other day may very well be the one behind the blog post. Filled with excitement to finally stumble upon someone like-minded, she once again appears before Satoru to affirm her conjecture. As they get to discussing about their identities after the confirmation, Sakuko makes a bizarre proposition for the two of them to try living together and see if they can become a family without any romantic feelings involved, much to Satoru’s dismay. He reluctantly agrees when Sakuko manages to persuade him with the problems of both of their current living conditions along with the benefits they both get if she comes to live in his house. And so, the trial for two aroaces to become a family begins.

   As someone who loves hanging around in the online aro and ace communities, and occasionally watches J-dramas, you’d probably expect me to have jumped onto Koisenu Futari as soon as it became available for the international audience. The truth is, I went back and forth for several months before finally sitting down to watch it. Because it revolves around a subject matter that’s very close to my heart and precious to me, I had all the more apprehensions that it might misrepresent us, dance around the concept of being aromantic and asexual without using the specific terms given it’s a Japanese production, and most importantly – an ending that wouldn’t be satisfying for the actual aros and aces. Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to imagine adult aroaces leading happy lives to their likings amidst the busybody culture. I’m usually all for pragmatic conclusions, but it was that one exception when I didn’t want a reality check.

    Now that I’ve finished the full series, did my misgivings hold true? I’m not gonna dillydally and straight-out say it: absolutely… not! However, don’t take this to mean that it’s gonna be a smooth ride. Because from time to time, the turn of events will make you step back and think to yourself, ‘I don’t like this if it’s really going where I think it’s going’ or simply have qualms about how they’re gonna handle a certain predicament. That was the reason why I couldn’t pass a judgment on the show until nearing the end. Several incidents arise in such a short drama, and thankfully every single one of them got an agreeable closure in the end. With the last dilemma of Satoru following his dream versus Sakuko keeping their family together resolved, I must say that I couldn’t ask for a better finale. It’s hands down one of my favorites, the most fulfilling and gratifying ending in a piece of media.

    Speaking of Sakuko and Satoru’s ‘family without romantic feelings involved’, which they like to refer to as “family (subject to change)” for the lack of better words, it can essentially be described as a queerplatonic relationship. I’m not gonna explain what that is for those who got a question mark over their head right now. You can check out this TikTok video that clarifies it better than I ever could in a few sentences (that one time TikTok became accurate and helpful). One thing though, take what I said as more of a headcanon than an absolute truth. Because it took me a while to take a step back and remind myself that a relationship is queerplatonic only when the people involved in it decide to define it as one. Otherwise, it’d be no different than alloromantic people forcibly claiming a non-romantic relationship is “romantic” regardless of the said pair’s negation just to suit their own fancy. But I’m pretty sure the real reason in the case of Koisenu Futari is because the term “queerplatonic” just doesn’t exist in Japanese, and they’re not familiar with this English word either. Yep, that’s one of my initial doubts right there.

    It’s fine though, because the two fundamental and crucial terms are there at least. That’s right, the words “aromantic” and “asexual” have made their way into the Japanese vocabulary! Albeit, they’re said in the Japanesque style. Given how the Japanese people speak English words, I thought the abbreviations – “aro” and “ace” – would be pronounced as “âro” (アロ) and “ēsu” (エース). But they turned out to be “âroma” (アロマ) and “âseku” (アセク) instead, short for “âromanchikku” (アロマンチック) and “âsekusharu” (アセクシャル). Though, â might be the wrong phonetic in these cases. I guess I should’ve known, since Japanese people have this habit of taking English words and shortening them to their liking for convenience. Though, I’ve found that there is one actual Japanese word for asexual, musei (無性). But of course, it pertains to reproduction. And it’s no surprise either that there doesn’t seem to be any word for aromantic. Ah, the temptation I feel to crack the notorious ‘asexuals are plants’ joke right now…

    Ahem! Forget that for now, because I’m about to impart an illuminating piece of information that I picked out thanks to Koisenu Futari. It’s revealed in one episode that in Japan, the very word for “romance” was conceived in the Meiji era (1868-1912), and the values associated with it were nonexistent prior to that. Doesn’t it almost sound like romantic attraction is a concoction of the modern period, similar to how queerphobics complain that aromanticism, asexuality and other queer identities are newfangled fads? When you put it that way without further context, it probably does. To fully understand what this fact actually entails, we need to elaborate on the said Japanese word, “ren’ai” (恋愛). Take this with a grain of salt as I’m not an expert, but from what I’ve gathered so far with my limited knowledge of the Japanese language as well as the culture, renai is more about the whole affair of finding a love interest, getting into a romantic relationship, and engaging in sexual activities than it is about the matter of attraction itself. So, in essence, it’s not opening up a debate as to since when the Japanese people have started feeling romantic attraction, but rather when the idea of pursuing romance came into being in the land. Having played otome games set in the Meiji and the consequent Taishou era (1912-1926), I can tell that taking a lover wasn’t a common practice back then. Sure, those aren’t the most accurate and reliable depiction of history, but when even dating sims can’t play it up, that speaks for itself.

    Looking at Japan isn’t even necessary to recognize the veracity of the bottom line of this. Coming from an Asian country myself, once upon a time, romantic relationships were frowned upon like it was one of the biggest disgraces to ever happen to a family here, if not the biggest one. Nowadays, most families have grown to become more accepting of young adults getting into romantic relationships and marrying a partner of their choice, what with dating becoming more and more of a commonplace. It’d be fine if that was all there was though, but it has reached the point where I went to listen to a popular native podcast of ours around the time of Valentine’s Day, and it started with the anecdote of a high school guy asking around on social media if it was abnormal for him to not have a girlfriend yet, and if he should do something to find someone. The face I was making then was probably a sight to behold, since I instantly turned into a fine real life specimen of the “IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT” meme of Spongebob. That, my reader, is what we call amatonormativity.

    All this fuss about being single isn’t so much about attraction as it’s about compulsively following specific customs just to fit in with everyone else (not saying everyone who desires a romantic relationship is like this), as if we’re all dolls with the same features, manufactured together in a set. If we’re really going with the excuse of loneliness, wouldn’t it mean the humans, living in the olden days when romantic partners weren’t prevalent and corporations didn’t promote Valentine’s Day for the sake of profit, were the loneliest of all? And if it’s because it’s in our nature to want to be loved and cared for, how come many of the present-day surveys and statistics tell us that humans are suffering from loneliness more than ever before as the time goes on, when everyone’s getting into romantic relationships left and right? Doesn’t it seem to say something about today’s attachments and connections that are so sought-after? You’ve probably heard of the saying, “gender is a social construction.” Now if I may, hoping I won’t be skewered and grilled for this, “romance” is a social construction. Emphasis goes to the quotation marks. It makes sense when you learn about all the different kinds of attractions that exist, and how they can be mutually inclusive when it comes to certain actions, varying from person to person.

    I may have gotten somewhat derailed from the review, but it matters not. The focus of it isn’t just on Koisenu Futari being a J-drama, but spreading awareness about aromanticism and asexuality. Besides, I can imagine Satoru nodding in agreement with me and saying the same. Throughout the series, he often talks about amatonormativity with Sakuko and sometimes the others. That was a characteristic absolutely indispensable for him as well as the drama to be so relatable to the aros and aces. Screwing with rubbish societal norms isn’t enough, the need to rant about the dozens of distresses that suck the life outta us day in and day out is at the center of this ordeal. He’s an excellent embodiment of our thoughts and feelings. On the other side, Sakuko finds herself in messes that are the pictures of of our day-to-day troubles.

     The pair’s contrasting personalities also create a great juxtaposition for two aroaces. From my observation, for Sakuko, her aromantic aspect is prevailing to her identity; while for Satoru, it’s his asexuality. Sakuko is amicable, social and cherishes those dear to her. Romantic interests of the others towards her, however, puts her at a loss. Her encounter and conversations with Satoru – who’s the only aroace she personally knows – helps her to gather her thoughts regarding her orientation and get better at dealing with those situations little by little. In turn, living with Sakuko and spending time with those around her gradually alleviates the emptiness in Satoru’s life left by the death of his dearest grandmother. He has always carried around regret in his heart for being unable to confide in the only person close to him about his identity, as well as his incapability to grant her a grandkid when he was her only family. After all, not only is he a sex-repulsed ace, but touch-repulsed altogether. To top it all off, the meddlesome attitudes and comments from his surroundings have him jaded, so much so that he doesn’t even want the understanding of others. When communication fails again and again because people refuse to see things from someone else’s perspective or just accept them as they’re due to their fundamental differences from each other, shutting them off may be the only option left. His no-nonsense, solitary disposition very much resonates with me, although personality-wise, I may or may not appear closer to Sakuko on the outside.

    Setting aside the protagonists, I must bestow the titles of honorable mention and best side character to Matsuoka Kazu. Don’t get your hopes up right away though, because he’s gonna get on your nerves as soon as he gets involved with the plot. He’s the personification of the traits that make aros and aces roll their eyes, being insufferable at times. You’re probably gonna hate him, which you’re supposed to, until you start appreciating his character development. He goes from the greatest menace to the greatest supporter of Sakuko. Not to mention, I couldn’t have discovered the above-mentioned history of “renai” without him, since he’s the reason why Satoru goes off lecturing about it! Honestly, our lives would be much gentler if more of the aphobics could grow to be thoughtful of us like he does. Even Sakuko’s family members come around to a considerable extent. I was touched by her parents’ acceptance of her, albeit one outright and one reluctant. Meanwhile, her sister’s story is a good example of how life’s rhythm can be easily thrown off when it’s mainly build around just a romantic partner.

    Keep in my mind though, this is a Japanese show, so it goes without saying that the narrative is going to follow the style of their dramas. The biggest complaint I hear in regard to J-dramas is that they contain too much of overacting, and I can totally see where it’s coming from. Koisenu Futari though, in my opinion, is the opposite of that. Subtlety is an integral quality of it, not that there is no exaggerated reactions whatsoever. Sakuko and Satoru in particular make these faint yet distinct facial expressions that seem to say more than their words. Their respective stars, Kishii Yukino and Takahashi Issei, were the perfect choices for the roles. Takahashi Issei’s acting especially feels like Satoru’s character was made to be portrayed by him. They even share the same surname and all! I was surprised and delighted to find out he’s the one who voiced Amasawa Seiji, the deuteragonist of Studio Ghibli film Whisper of the Heart. Acting is acting, I guess. As for the supporting cast of Koisenu Futari, the performances that stood out in my eyes were Sakuko’s longtime friend Kadowaki Chizuru, played by Kojima Fujiko, and Sakuko’s father Kodama Hiromi, played by Koichi Mantaro. They left an impression on me.

    In spite of all the praises I’m singing about Koisenu Futari, I still can’t say that I’d absolutely recommend any and every aromantic and asexual person to watch it. This might sound like it came from the left field, but it’s actually for their sake. Because this isn’t as simple as a fantasy show or something where two characters are specified to be aroaces since they couldn’t care less about romance and sex. Rather, it’s a true-to-life depiction of the issues that come with identifying with these labels. The alienation and loneliness resulting from being “different”, falling apart of friendships due to romantic interest of the other party, vexation stemming from the inability to relate and thus empathize with those going through heartbreaks, aphobic belief that aros have it easy just because they don’t have romantic entanglements to worry about, family and societal pressure to get married and have kids, apprehension regarding the future that’ll likely be lonesome otherwise — all these difficulties experienced by aros and/or aces are remarkably brought out. In short, the plot is all about trying to navigate this world full of amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity. And as much as it feels great to see our representation, such a high level of relatability also means it can be triggering to see the exact same things that distress us in our everyday lives.

   I, for one, was left overwhelmed by the very first episode. Sakuko’s excitement over the initial living arrangement with her friend reflects the deepest desire of my heart that has been there since forever. I’m definitely not the only one; for many aros and/or aces, it’s a situation that’s considered a dream come true. Except the ingrained relationship hierarchy, where romantic partners are put above everyone else, pretty much always turns it into a pipe dream. After finishing that episode, I had to sit in silence for a while, trying hard to contain my emotions. On top of it, what occurs between the two of them later hit too close to home, again. Watching it unfold almost felt like a personal attack, the thought ‘I’m in this drama, and I don’t like it!’ running through my mind all the while. However, I have to admit that the last scene of the drama makes it worth it. The image of Sakuko happily cycling down the road with the most heartfelt, carefree smile on her face screamed freedom to me. Then revisiting the drama in order to write this review aroused the displeasure in me along with the appreciation all over again. It’s really up to how much an individual viewer can take depending on their mental state.

    For alloromantic and allosexual people though, I’d definitely recommend them to complete Koisenu Futari. Not merely because otherwise they’d be missing out on a wonderful show, but mostly because it’s important that they come to see things from aromantic and asexual people’s viewpoint. Of course, for one thing, you can avoid upsetting them and treat them right when you know better. Now, you may ask, what’s the odd of you running into an aro and/or ace when those’re such rare orientations? The thing is, many of us go through an identity crisis at the beginning because we’re never taught about the very existences of aromanticism and asexuality in the first place. It needs to become a common knowledge like homosexuality, bisexuality etc. Even when we do get to know who we are, we still feel the need to keep this intrinsic part of our personality to ourselves because of ignorant people’s hurtful attitude. So, if you’ve already proved yourself to be uncomfortable for the topic, the possibility of you being privy to the fact of someone you know being an aro and/or ace is very low in the first place.

   This obliviousness isn’t harming only aros and aces though, it concerns you, and your near and dear ones, too. Why do I say that? Well, once you step into the world of aromanticism and asexuality, your eyes will open to a whole bunch of problems around us, as well as a whole lot of ways of life. Namely, the clutch that amatonormativity, heteronormativity and allonormativity have on us, and how liberating living can be if you get to defy them. I can’t go into the details of what they mean in this review. You can always search on Google and Tumblr to learn their definitions, etymologies and implications. All I’ll say is that the Four Horsemen (including platonormativity) of the ‘love and sex are what make you human’ bullshit go hand in hand with misogyny, sexism, toxic gender stereotypes, toxic masculinity, domestic violence, colorism, body shaming, ableism and many, many more severe social issues. It’s impossible to escape them so long as you live in the society. So when you really think about it, being aphobic is basically advocating for your own victimization and/or decadence. Although, I suppose something as ridiculous as aphobia prevails at all is because the mere existences of aros and aces challenge the beliefs and learning that alloallo people have nurtured throughout their lifetime. It’s human nature to feel threatened by something they don’t understand. But on the other hand, broadening your worldview with the aromantic and asexual perspectives serves to benefit you regardless of your orientation. Personally speaking, even if I don’t identify as an aroace someday, I’d still be grateful for everything I’ve been taught thanks to it. I wouldn’t exchange this experience and thought process for anything.

   If there’s one flaw of Koisenu Futari though, it has to be its approach of aromanticism and asexuality being largely inadequate. The matters are explored through the two protagonists only, resulting in a limitation as to which facets of the orientations can be introduced to the viewers. There is this one time when Sakuko attends a gathering of aros and aces, but it’s way too short to put enough emphasis on the briefly discussed topics: the spectrums’ independence from each other, and the variation in individual preferences. That’s right, aromantic and asexual are the umbrella terms for two separate spectrums. You must’ve already noticed my continual usage of “and/or” until now, that’s because being a part of one spectrum doesn’t necessarily connote being a part of the other. Both of them also consist of a wide range of microlabels, and those’re contradistinctive at times. I daresay, compared to the entire populace of the rest of the world, I’ve witnessed way more diversity in these tiny communities that’re more or less close to the population of Denmark. A series could cast a dozen of aro and ace characters, but many of the particularities would still end up left out. Given the acute lack of our representation in the media, a complete drama dedicated to us is already an absolute blessing. Even just two characters, who’re gateway to the plain basics, are a great starting point. That’s all well and good, but the problem is that those who aren’t well-informed with the comprehensive nitty-gritties might develop a rigid concept of the identities, and thus question the validity of those of us who don’t fit the mold.

  I’d suggest alloromantic, allosexual and questioning folks to take Koisenu Futari as a stepping-stone to learn about aromanticism and asexuality. Thanks to Kaizen Subs, it’s accessible for the international audience. They did such a fantastic job with the subtitling. I don’t wish to depreciate any fansubbers who pour so much hard work into voluntarily providing English subtitles, but I also can’t deny that I often come across translations that’re far cry from the actual speeches. I was afraid the same might happen to Koisenu Futari, especially due to the lingos in the aro and ace communities that’re foreign to the outsiders. It was an utter relief to discover that it wasn’t the case. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find somebody else’s style of translating similar to mine for the first time as a translator. Personal reflection aside, this is your cue to watch the drama. Visit this link to download the subtitles. Just rename the files corresponding to the episode file names on your device, and it’ll make the subtitles automatically show up on the videos when you open them, whether it’s on computer or phone. Oh, and where to find the raw episodes? That question’s a no-no in public, but here goes: Đ Ɽ ₳ ₥ ₳ ₵ Ø Ø Ⱡ

  My only sincere request is for people to keep an open mind, about us and about the world. Koisenu Futari’s MyDramaList entry used to have the “naïve female lead” tag before, and that was more than enough infantilization of aroaces. Look at it this way, romantic and/or sexual attractions can be considered ghosts to us. Almost everybody around us claim to be able to see them, those who’re chasing after them. They ask us why we can’t perceive them. It’s because they only ever exist in the tales of others, not in our own realm, at least not without the exact same power. Maybe some of us have barely happened to encounter them at some point, but unsure of whether those’re actual ghosts or some other apparitions. Some can only see them once in a blue moon, under specific conditions. Some adore the idea of ghosts and their stories, regardless of their ability to sense them or the wish to interact with them in person. At any rate, we all belong under the hefty green or purple umbrella, or where they both blend in to take on blue, orange and yellow colors; our very own spaces beneath the rainbow.

  It’s okay if you can’t grasp our hues right away. You can take your time. If it still doesn’t help, that’s okay, too. What’s not okay is dehumanizing or demonizing us. Don’t forget that humans are abusing and destroying each other in the name of love all the time. If you believe it’s a lie or an exaggeration, then open your eyes, strain your ears and take in what’s happening throughout the world. There’re more important things than love, attraction or even comprehension. Remember that consideration, compassion, communication and consent can go a long way to bring about happiness and peace in life. Also, please refrain from shoving “B-but aromantic/asexual people can feel romantic/sexual attraction and/or engage in such activities!” and other bigot commentaries down our throat. That’ll be all from me.

  Happy aromantic awareness week! It’s coming to an end soon, but may the awareness stick around.

Headers' credit: theprideful

“amatanormativity will not save you" flag credit: rjalker

#koisenu futari #恋せぬふたり #Two People Who Can’t Fall in Love #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro week #aromantic awareness week #aromantic awareness week 2023 #J-drama #Japanese drama #takahashi issei #issei takahashi #takahashi satoru #satoru takahashi #kishii yukino #yukino kishii #kodama sakuko #sakuko kodama #review by shuu #actually aromantic #actually asexual #actually aro #actually ace #actually aroace

[bigmack2go]

I havent posted abt atwow in much too long so…

Aonunete

Aqachno/rotxorro!!!

Lesbian or aro-ace kiri

Non-binary kiri👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Tuk went from the most feminine female to the genderlessed baddass in the history of gerless badasses

^human au Tuk🤷🏼‍♀️^

Gender confused Rotxo [male or non binary] (in the end he just decides they doesn’t need a lable)

Tsireya and neteyam are besties!

Just found out it isnt canon that koko loro and rotxo r triplets LIKE BRO THE LOOK T H E S. A. M. E.

Ao'nung and rotxo both would be one of those guys to wear a purple hoodie with a black daun-jacket all fall and winter as their only outfit but it somehow always stays clean. Any way aonung would have that style in a very straight way (this man is everything but straight 💀😭)

Double eyebrowpircing human rotxo

Kiri has freckles and she would 100% be on wich-tok, tumblr, and collect christals if she were human

And tsirey pulls of e. V. E. R. Y. Eyeliner look, style and color

I just wanna say i believe in sully-brothers-wearing-toothnecklaces supremacy

Rotxo-> purple hoodie with goofy pictures

Kiri is one if those remus-lupin-cardigans girls to cry to lana del ray in the bathroom (me)

And she showed tsireya lana-del-ray

and kiri hhas a septum and an eybrowpricing maybe even a lip or toungeonr

And loak is a basketballer i just know it

And he would be one of those people who could just where whatever combined with what ever and call it style and it would work.

(Wich is the worst part of these people istg)(IM LOOKING AT YOU JIMMY I HOPE YOU FEEL MY GLARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN YOU WANNA SLEEP BUT THAT TNGLE IN YOUR VACK KEEPS YOU AWAKE what—)

While neteyam on the other hand would have the best and most homosexual (-/j) style that exists in this universe like bri he be so fine

And allthough he almost never does he could ahundret percend pull of indiekid (he usually pulls of normal indie but ykyk)

PLUS neteyem eventually beat some actual style into him

Also if this isnt human loak i dont want it

Neteyam also would have the best music taste and you K N O W it

Neitiri would obviously be of faith and Neteyam too. Neteyam would be one of those guys thats friends woth the cool kids but solehow hea the only one in that friendgroup that has morals.

Aonung our beach boy surfer boy he's so QuiRcy Ahhh 🤪🤪 (i just cringed at my self) Tangtop and bathshorts summerjob at some random pool am i wrong??

and tuk did karate

TELL ME IM WRONG

I DARE U

And aonung almost cried when he got his tatoos. For. every. Single. One.

Now that would be totally fine if he didn’t go around telling everyone how tough he was and how it didnt even hurt, just tickled. (Nete was there for some of them. He bust raises his eyebrows and silently judges him when he says shit like that)

Rotxos tail curls when hes rly happy or exited

If rotxo was to cook smt he would 100% burn it and when i say burn it i dont mean Oh No ITs AIL bLaCk AnD cRuSTy NO I MEAN

FIRE

There

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME NORM SPELLMAN WOULD HAVE PLAYED 'BORN THIS WAY' TO SPIDER FUCJING SOCCORO WHEN HE CAME OUT AS TRANS

Oh and also i just know he loved golf back on earth

Jake showed them all human stuff like lana del ray and shit and spider is in LOVE woth spiderman like broooooo uts just a little too accurate

And they're all Beyoncé obsessed bc jake showed them

Some of these are from my friend btw but she doesn’t have tumblr. ALSO i made none of the incredible artworks! The TikTok of the artist is in each photo!

#headcannons #atwow #avatar #avatar the way of water

[mycomori]

don wana bother emy roomates i know she’s out some wher but she went out right as i came home from work and theroay but i need to be sure of thsi text to our landlord asking about adding a third roommate (one of my best friends since hugh schools) liek techically the house is two bedroom but i basically turned the sun room into a bedroom and we use the other bedroom as storage an shit. but we have talked about possibilty of havin both of havin soemone on that second room while i technically reside in the living room. last time it wa brought up was my friend z and her husband wanting a place to move in to get out her moms place w is i heist by and unsafe for multiple and many reasons. even tho they separated and he had to go bakc home to aus to go inpatient whike she rightfully focused on her own healing. want to give her a safes plave and soem kind of shitty home or the best selbalance or a home i cluld ever fathom being able to give my friend ajd family let alone my children. i’ll never have kids forn so manyb trauma reasons an i can’t even be upset cause is di their own good yknow? i love kids, i grew up as an only child endlessly depressed by my lack of siblings. i basically raised multiple of my little cousins. i i want kids…tanta the saddest part. i want a kid, just one would be more than enough, but i’ve always wanted a kid. but i’m ace an aro an traumatized and viably scarred and alwaus sci no matter hard i try an d’élite how much i want to have a child of my own i just achy l’ideale justify it i muself if there is even a chance i could unknowingly hurt or even absue then lie i knwk i have so many robjens i vaghe b trust to take care of myself i j can’t be responsible for whoek ass child that’s mh a whole entire human being in at their most impressionano stage anyone who’s not a fuckin shitsatik alike wanv to help and protect others especially children. anyone who doesn’t is a vile piece of shit who can burn foreve in the seventh level of hell.

[solarishashernoseinabook]

top 5 fanfics (including by yourself)? -devi

-proceeds to very humbly list five of my own fics- /j

but I think I will list some of my fics below this cuz I'm comfortable enough to say I feel proud of a lot of them, but I wanna shine the spotlight on other people first :D

Also disclaimer: this list is not in any actual order, it's just what's come to me

To See The Stars by aseikh (aka The Fic Solaris Will Not Shut Up About) - it's the first fanfic I read for RA and I plan on printing it out and binding it when I get money together for materials. I'm a complete and utter sucker for "lovers who are separated come back into contact and fall back in love again" and this fic is that to perfection

I'm Fine on My Own by ranger-melany/Maeve_Lynn - Mel reached out to me and at least one other aro ace to make sure this fic was accurate and it's one of the most sweet and honest depictions of being aro ace I've ever read

Give Me a Reason by MysteriousDeviant (yup!) because I love this take on my idea for Halt seeing Will still under his addiction

Spring by MysteriousDeviant (hehehe) because we were utterly robbed of Will working through his trauma

In My Bones by iamapiranha for being just. SO dramatic in the first chapter (unfortunately I haven't had time to keep up with it because. well. adult life. but the first chapter of this one really stayed with me)

Of my own fics, I'd say The Ward Ghost because I've put a lot of thought into how one relatively small event would change canon and everyone's characters; The Royal Ranger because getting to really write Halt and Crowley becoming friends is super fun (plus I get to vent my frustrations with people not taking autism seriously through Halt); Richard Thompson Learns About Rangers because I had just SO much fun writing various superstitions in people had; Will and Horace Have an Adventure because I had a lot of fun writing the kids that young; and News from Clonmel, because I absolutely adore the response it got from people (especially on tumblr where people went into it htinking it would just be a fun little romp and then got blasted with Angst™)

Ask game! Put "top 5" anything in my inbox and I'll answer :3

#asks #ask games #top 5 asks

[sacred-algae]

Hey, can we take a minute to talk about Abro Todd?

I know a lot of people headcannon Todd as Bi, but I really think Todd would fit abrosexual perfectly. So let’s go:

Abrosexual means the fluctuation of sexuality, fluidity. One day you could be Bi, the next Pan, the next Gay, hell even god forbid straight(/j), and along with that side of it, a lot of abro people fluctuate on the aspec too.

How does this apply to Todd? Let’s get into it.

Todd has always struggled with his sexuality, going back and forth between labels a LOT, and never really feeling valid. Most of the time he knew he was bi, but then he would go through periods where he really wasn’t attracted to women at all, then the same with men, and it was all really confusing. AND on top of all that craziness, he would also go through periods of being ace and/or aro. The only time when his attraction to genders didn’t change was when he was in a relationship, and that didn’t happen a lot. And even in them, they didn’t last long after a period of asexuality came. Because his partners couldn’t understand that yes, he was interested in sex a month ago, but for the past few weeks he just isn’t, and it wasn’t anything wrong with them... it just was... maybe there was something wrong with him?

He felt... broken. Like he was malfunctioning. Surely this isn’t how things work. Being ace was supposed to be a constant thing, not something that popped up like the McRib. (Only a lot more often) This isn’t supposed to be like this. Couldn’t his brain make up it’s goddamn mind already?

And then came Dirk. And oh boy, he did NOT want to mess this up. He needed Dirk in his life, he couldn’t loose him. So he didn’t say anything about his crush. And then he fell in love with Dirk. Now he really couldn’t tell him. So he didn’t. He would sit there and be hopelessly lovesick while Dirk sat there not knowing and probably not feeling the same way.

And then, the impossible happened. Dirk confessed his feelings first. And holy fuck was he happy. And he forgot about his problem, he had never had a person in his life as important as Dirk before, no one meant anything to Todd like Dirk did. So maybe... just maybe his brain could make up it’s mind. This is Dirk. Of course Dirk would fix him.

And then it happened. And he was so screwed. And Todd had not only pulled back from sex, he knew he could tell Dirk that and he would be fine with it, just maybe not why, he went back to feeling guilty and broken. And he spiraled and spiraled, pulling away both physically and emotionally, he wouldn’t talk as much, he wouldn’t smile as much, he just kinda existed. Dirk had noticed this, and while Todd insisted everything was fine and he’d be back to “normal” soon, Dirk didn’t believe him. He worried he did something wrong, broke a boundary or hurt him. And it had been a few weeks of Dirk checking in on him, worrying about him, Todd insisting everything was ok. It had been a few weeks when Dirk had finally, and possibly somewhat aggressively, sat him down and asked what was wrong, something was wrong and he needed to know, he needed Todd to be ok again. He wanted his happy Todd back and he didn’t care what it took to get happy Todd back. Todd broke down and told him how this is just a thing that happens with him. And he knew it would happen every once and a while, never knowing when, never knowing for how long but he knew he would be back to “normal” (something Dirk shut down immediately) some time. He knew there had to be something wrong with him because people aren’t just ace all of a sudden for a few weeks at a time, it’s not how sexuality works. Dirk, relieved that he didn’t do anything wrong, was convinced that this had to be normal, it was a spectrum after all.

And then they found the term. And everything made sense for once in Todd’s life. And when he fluctuate to ace again, he was happy knowing that it was normal and he was ok and valid. Dirk was just glad he could help and that Todd was happy.

So... there you go. Abrosexual Todd.

#dghda #dirk gently #brotzly #dirk gently's holistic detective agency #todd brotzman #abrosexual #abrosexuality #abro todd brotzman #aspec headcanons #abro pride #dghda art #dghda fanart

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Ouran High HCs

For the fifteenth birthday of one of my favorite romantic comedies, and the day that I started watching said romantic comedy with my boyfriend who is relatively new to anime it got me thinking about these characters and how wonderfully diverse their personalities are. The show has 100% chaotic energy and I love it so much. I wanted to look at every major character in the host club (Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, my favorite twin Kaoru, Honey-senpai, and of course Mori-senpai.) using all their personalities and make some head-canons for favorite group of crazies!

Haruhi:

- She/they icon, we stan

- Always preferred to wear more masculine clothes growing up, they were less expensive than the feminine ones. Plus she felt more comfortable in a pair of shorts as opposed to a dress.

- A very active child, she was always running around her neighborhood, going to the park and doing things with her dad.

- Her dad taught her everything that she needed to know about makeup once she became a member of the host club.

- She worked a part time job in order to help her dad pay the bills and to get food money.

- She thought that she was arosexual before joining the host club. Despite the confessions that she got in junior high they either went entirely over her head or she told them that she was too focused on her studies for romance at that time. Of course all that changed when she met our favorite blonde haired himbo goofball.

- She did wind up taking the conversational French with the twins and often times they'll slip into it for practice. Of course, Tamaki always understands when they talk shit about him so they just do it to mess with him.

Tamaki (my favorite):

- Bisexual king, honestly I love that for him out here living his best life.

- He didn't have much of a childhood between constantly needing to be there for his mom and make sure that she was healthy and okay. It's why he made the host club in the first place to live out his childhood that he was robbed of.

- Is actually way smarter academically than most people might think. If you were to look at the class grades he's always right behind Kyoya. He dedicates a lot of his free time to studying. He's not inherently stupid, just naive.

- His mom was the one that got him into cosplay by introducing him to the various kinds of fabrics. It stemmed into a personal interest that he could lose himself in and distract himself from the loneliness.

- He practiced flirting on Kyoya back in middle school for the future host club once he had his heart set on it.

Kyoya:

- In the words of the great immortal J Michael Tatum "Kyoya is probably gay". It was something that didn't even occur to me until I watched him do an Ouran panel and then I was like holy shit the king makes a good point.

- While Tamaki was his gay crisis, he quickly realized that he would spend forever pining after him and eventually shelved his feelings. Tamaki was his best friend and that was more important to him than his feelings.

- Kyoya has always been a really keen observer of people's true intentions. He's excellent at reading people and knowing what they want from him. The only people he has never been able to read perfectly are Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi.

- He originally didn't want to be a doctor but he eventually wanted to prove himself so badly that he told his father that he would surpass his expectations no matter how high they were.

- Doing background checks on people is fascinating to him. It's not just for blackmail purposes but he likes learning people's weaknesses. He's also an excellent chess player.

Hikaru:

- The definitive over protective sibling. Anybody hurts Kaoru they will wish that they were dead. Kaoru is the most important person in his life and he would do anything to protect him.

- His tsundere tendencies come from a place of wanting to protect those he loves not out of anger.

- While he is begrudgingly worse at letting in other people once you fight your way through his walls he's actually a really amazing friend and s/o.

- His love of the fashion industry stems more from the model side of things than anything else. He can't design anything of his own to save his life.

- He never cared about any girls in his life before Haruhi came into his. Even though he didn't know how to deal with his feelings she was the first person who ever really showed that she cared about him.

Kaoru (my preferred Hitachiin sib):

- One big gay disaster that is absolutely crushing on Kyoya (I just learned about this ship today and it has stolen my life juice.) To blush when he's working with Hikaru to please the ladies all he has to do is think of Kyoya in his brother's spot.

- Is the far superior designer that can actually make really beautiful clothes. Most of the costumes that are worn by the club are designed by Kaoru.

- His hair is a lot softer than Hikaru's even though it's the same style, hair product and everything. I think that his would be more poofy and Hikaru's more spikey.

- Kaoru has always felt like he had to work harder to be like his brother that when you spend time with him alone at first it will be almost like you're talking to a replica of Hikaru and not a separate entity. At first it's a little bit awkward but once you get him out of his shell you find what a sweet and amazing person he is.

- Kaoru is an incredible skateboarder. He loves the feeling that he gets from the wind in his hair and designed his own skateboard. A lot of his hobbies outside of the club are athletic related causing him to have a more defined body than his brother since Hikaru is basically a cat.

Honey-senpai: - If this boi could make cakes and pastries for a living without the threat of eating them all he would make the best sweets. He knows when something is just the right amount of sweet and when something is too sweet.

- He learned martial arts to be stronger because he knew that people would try to take advantage of him due to his childlike nature.

- Honey had a fight with his grandmother before she passed away over something completely selfish. That is why he is so attached to Usa-chan.

- Him and Mori were always really close, even as children and understand each other better than anybody.

- His constant animosity between him and his younger brother is because he feels like he is constantly being babied due to his personality.

Mori-senpai:

- Mori has autism. He is also selectively mute. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, the show itself gives them to me.

- Looks like a tough guy but in actuality would give the best hugs. I want a Mori hug. Haruhi probably gets the most Mori hugs because he is immensely protective over her.

- Aro-ace baby but gives the best platonic cuddles to any of the club members that are having parental issues.

- While he prefers spicy over sweet he does have a sweet tooth at random times of the day. Has been sighted at a local Cold Stone five minutes before closing in the dead of winter, while it's snowing outside by Kaoru and Kyoya while they were trying to find a place to get warm while out on a date.

- He actually didn't start his athletic endeavors with kendo, he started with ballet and gymnastics when he was really young.

And that's all my head-canons for the day! Happy anniversary to my favorite ridiculous throw everything against the wall and see what sticks to it romantic comedy. I hope that one day we will either get a season two or at this point it would be better to just do a hard reboot. Hoping that one day we will see our boys animated in high definition, even though I feel like an HD Tamaki would definitely kill me.

#ouran high school host club #ouran headcanons #headcanons #ouran 15th anniversary

[vanillaa-sky]

Hey! Could you make a post of your Aro and/or Ace headcanons?

I certainly can! I know you only asked for aro and ace but I’m gonna expand on some of them simply because we need more characters who are aro OR ace, rather than them all being aroace specifically.

Ace:

Allison Hargreeves, thanks to this post! (heteroromantic ace)

Stanley Uris, not actually sure where this hc began? I think I just saw other people making ace Stan posts and said ‘Yeah I can get behind that’. (See also the nb Stan hc because that’s Good)

Luke Patterson, again I think this is just because I’ve seen other people hc him as ace, but the pan ace Luke hc lives rent free in my mind

Willie (JATP), thanks to @thesunwillart’s posts, serving rights on all fronts

Julie Molina, I saw jatp and went wow that shit fucks, everyone’s ace now :/ and that was very big brained of me tbh! I mean her assigned colour is purple too so like? What other evidence do you need? /j

Not a hc but Jonathan Sims, actually canon (!!!!), you love to see it!

Din Djarin (hello angry anons <3), definitely bi-ace you can’t change my mind. Think this started from his complete disinterest in chapter 2 (?) when Greef suggests he goes to the Twi’lek baths? That man is ace and he just wants a nap :/

Aro:

Kristy Thomas, I’m still unsure on what I actually hc her as, because I feel her lines about not having a crush on any boys could either be read as aro OR that she’s a lesbian? I definitely see her as aspec though I know that much, perhaps demi?

Sasha James, stole this one from Gray because he said aromantic bi Sasha and mans went off with that, excellent hc king

Naimi-Selari-Nykantia/Nyx, I just fucking love her teasing Callum and Rayla for their feelings and decide she’s aro based on that alone, let more aros bully romance pls

(Honestly it’s a lot harder to think of aro hcs just due to the fact that a lot of characters are/have been in romantic relationships that I either enjoy or see as happy and healthy)

AroAce:

Five Hargreeves, you’re telling me that he genuinely fell in love with a mannequin? No he has Trauma and latched onto an inanimate object. Also I think aroace people should be allowed to commit a little crime, as a treat, y’know?

Another canon character, Zephyr Hernandez, genuinely teared up a little when he said he was aroace :’)

Luke Crain, another Luke for the list, seen a lot of good readings of his character and how he was written as aroace and I definitely see where they’re coming from! He’s aroace in my heart

#asks #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aroace hcs #how tf do I tag this?

[we-the-pride-system]

system list, triggers, and DNI

So yes read this before you interact uwu

important!!!: Anthony is dating @remote-controlled-watermelon !!! 

(okay so since people can’t get the memo, people who kin, and doubles, are welcome here. we love y’all. keep bein your funky selves!) 

Anthony: host, trans and currently very gay, he/they  [14] tag: moth chats

Jeremy: protecter, cisgender, in a relationship with Carlos, he/him pronouns. [20] tag: jerm talks

Carlos: we don’t know his role, cis, happily married to Jeremy, he/him pronouns. [23] Tag: Carlos speaks

Pea: Caregiver, non-binary, lesbian, they/them pronouns. [19] tags: Pea talks

Alys: Trauma keeper, non human, he/him pronouns. [?] tag: Alice chats

blinkie: old alter, somehow wasn’t added on here before?!?!, robot, he/him. tag: blinkie talks

13: trauma keeper, non human, mute, typ3s lik3 this. They/them pronouns. [??] tag 13 talks

Addie: NO LONGER A LITTLE, big pain in the ass, your aloud to cuss when she’s around cus she couldn’t give less of a shit. She/her pronouns. [13] tag: Addie talks

Quill/ Quillie: Little, plans to take over the world, no cussing around her. She/her pronouns. [6] tag: quillie talks

Spider: Little, Anxious mess, he’s okay with cuss words just not a lot. He/him pronouns. [10] spider chats

Rosie: caregiver, sweet, she/her pronouns. [19] Rosie talks

Prince: reformed prosecutor, not to be confused with Roman, he/him pronouns.[17]  prince talks

Virgil: fictive from sanders sides, non-binary icon, they/them, he/him pronouns. [16] Virgil chats

Deceit: fictive from sanders sides, don’t call them Janus, they/them pronouns. [16] dee talks

Logan: fictive from sanders sides, dating Remus, he/him pronouns. [17] Logan lectures  Remus: fictive from sanders sides, dating Logan, it/its, veay/vem, pronouns. [18] remus bothers

Roman: fictive from sanders sides, ace aro, single and never ready to mingle, he/him pronouns. [17] Roman chats Sylvie: fictive from epithet erased, hates his source character  but finds A good chuckle out of it, chill af, gremlin, basically sylvie if he went apeshit. Don’t call him Sylvester, he prefers Sylvie. his tag is lampchop talks. Questioning so for now he/him. [15] 

Giovanni potage: fictive from epithet erased, loves his source, basically best soup dad, TYPES LIKE THIS, his tag is VILLAN SPEAK. He/him. [19] 

Molly: fictive from epithet erased, Loves Giovanni and sylvie, baby protect her, I’m also counting her as a little since she’s 12. She/her. [12] tag beartrap chats

Dave strider: fictive from homestuck, chill, rambles a lot, gets trauma memories sometimes so if he suddenly stops talking to you that’s what’s happening, just stand by and give moral support if needed, has PTSD. He/him. [14] tag Dave talks

Karakat: fictive from homestuck, angy boi, usually fronts after Dave, TYPES LIKE THIS, he is very tired of peoples bullshit. He/him. [14] tag karakat talks

Eridan: fictive from homestuck, types with double vv’s and ww’s, thinks very high of theirselve, “gender Is for humans I have no need for it.”  They/them, he/him. [14] tag Eridan speaks 

Hollow: innocence keeper, no one really knows their age, they them pronouns, usually talks in the third person. Tag: hollow talks

 Tenya iida: BNHA fictive! Baby, will usually front if your talking about sonic, orange juice, really anything orange flavored, or deku(he misses him) trans man, he/him pronouns, 16 years old (ya nasties.) tag: tenya talks chats Goop: don't know much about them yet, completely fine with all pronouns just mainly uses they/them, will reblog memes untill they die. About 17 years old. Tag: Goop memes

Cyar: angy, >:(, that’s it. It’s a fragment. Don’t ask. Unknown age. It/its pronouns (all it/its will be tagged as it/its use) Tag: Cyar talks.

chris: p chill, fictive of someone irl, 13, they/them. Tag: Krys talks.

D1no: little! About 6 to 7. Still talks babyish. They/them, he/him. Tag: dino talks

Em: mute. Sister of LL. Is still getting used to well, everything. She/her. 14. Tag: em speaks.

Logan/LL: silent. Brother of Em. Doesn’t talk much but can. 14. He/him. Tag. LL talks.

Patton: we have the whole set. 23 yo, we don’t know him that well. he/him. Tag: Patton talks

onix: fictive of a name??? how does that even happen? he/him. 19. tag: onix talks

percy: yep a percy fictive of epithet erased. she/they. 28. tag: percy talks

spike: not a fictive! just mistook him for one. he/him, they/them. 17. tag: spike.txt

cheshire: little, about 9 years old?? uses he/him they/them and she/her. genderfluid. tag: cheshire speaks

Jake english: “use reuse recycle!” he/him 18. tag: jake talks

frisk: no thoughts head empty 10 years old, fictive, little, they/them. tag:frisk talks

Wilbur soot: mcyt fictive! is ghostbur. he doesn’t remember what he did and is very confused as to where he is. fish just all the 🐠 way. 21! he/him tag: Wilbur.txt

Fundy: mcyt fictive! doesn’t forgive his dad but is willing to vibe with him. knows some spanish 19 he/him. tag: Fundy text

Phill: “yes with two Ls” mcyt fictive. system dad. role caretaker! if you don’t feel comfortable talking to him let him know he doesn’t mind :) 38 he/him tag: Phill talks

mack: chaotic protecter. he/they, 19. tag: mack talks

Wilbur/Wil: Fictive of alivebur, mcyt fictive. role protector! pls tell him if he needs to calm down he gets a little loud. 19! he/him. Tag: Wil talks

Tommy: fictive of tommyinnit, mcyt fictive, (not of the youtuber of the character), 14, he/it pronouns. Tag: Tommy,TxT

Ranboo: forgot to do this yesterday lol, fictive of ranboo the character, 17 they/it tag: ranboo talks

Technoblade: again another fictive of the character, p chill, usually won’t announce when he’s fronting cus it’s easier. 20 he/him tag: Techno talks

The happy scale! (This is a stolen idea bc sometimes our emotions get icky but hey whatcha gonna do! This also includes emojis cus we have very complicated emotions)

:)  happy! Ether used in a nice way or in a passive aggressive way.

:( eh not the best. Sad. Man this sucks. Yknow stuff like that.

>:( mad, angry, pissed off.  :/ meh, don’t really feel anything rn.  🥺 baby, love, I love this, please love me.  😔 yep, oof, oh well.  👏 yes, preach sister!

🙏 thanks!

🤟 I love you!  Stuff: 

Sarcasm is usually tagged /s and jokes are tagged as /j , as we cannot tell if people are joking or not in real life or through the Internet. If you are talking to us please use /s when your sarcastic and /j when you are joking.

Triggers: 

 police brutality and police in general, unsympathetic Janus, and uh mild nudity like showing tummy or breasts, romantic molly x Sylvie (kissing is fine just no icky stuff, only platonic here.), the California fire stuff + covid 19, calling me baby, doll, gorgeous, or any girl term (if a girl alter is fronting that is the ONLY exception), the trump protesting thing/ civil war 2 happening rn

DNI list:

Terfs, no trauma systems, unsympathetic Janus stans, “all lives matter”, map, pedofile, gio x molly shippers or sylvie x gio shippers, r3mrom shippers, romantic Sylvie x molly (we mean like sex stuff here, platonic only)

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hello Erica! I'm kinda new to all this self-shipping stuff, so if I understand correctly, you are in some kind of relationship with Arthur? Can you explain how that happened? How did you two meet?

Hello, darling!💚

Welcome to the wonderful realms of ✨self-shipping✨! It’s a real life changer, and I’m not kidding! Yes, you understand correctly! I consider myself to be in a very real, committed marriage to Arthur Fleck; I wear wedding rings, I celebrate anniversaries, the works. With my wonderful husband I have finally come into myself and I’ve never been more at peace with who that woman is; deeply flawed and less than ideal as she is (in my opinion; I struggle with self-loathing and Arthur helps me with that, too). 

UNDER THE CUT TW; MENTIONS OF TRAUMA FROM AN ABUSIVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, NIGHTMARES, DISSOCIATION, EMOTIONAL HEAVINESS. I WENT HARD ON THIS ANSWER.

Arthur and I met on the 4th October 2019; it was the very first release date in the UK and ever since the trailer had first aired, I had... a tugging in my gut that I had to see Joker. No negotiations, no questions asked... I had to see the film. That feeling never faded and I actually booked my tickets an entire week before the very first showing on the 4th of October. I left work an hour early to make sure that I had plenty of time, I was an hour early to the cinema and everything. I very nearly didn’t go, tbh, even after all of my planning, because I have... trauma associations with Leto’s!Joker (abusive ex-boyfriend who literally modelled himself after Leto’s Joker and always called me “his Harley” and expected me to call him “Mr. J” etc. so as you can imagine, I have troubles with Harley and Leto’s Joker even three years after I escaped the relationship in fear of my life), but the tugging in my gut was too much for me to ignore and I went.

And oh. my god. Nonnie. I fell in love with Arthur before I even knew his name. Carnival was spinning his sign on the streets of Gotham and I remember my entire body went still and my mind went quiet and the only coherent thought I had was, “oh, there you are”. Arthur’s everything I never knew I needed until I did and he was a literal splash of colour; I was in a very dark place when he found me. Nightmares, dissociation, falling behind in university to the point of being almost unable to catch up, struggling with my job, panic attacks... and then Arthur found me and he saved me. Not physically, that was another battle and I was saved by someone else, but he saved my soul. I was at the point of giving up on myself and on my life and just at that point when I couldn’t take it any more and I began to seriously consider stepping out in front of a bus... 

There he was.

I saw the film a total of four times at the cinema. I still have the stubs. I saw him on the 4th of October, the 15th, the 22nd and the 12th November. It was a massive struggle to wait until the 10th February for the DVD to be released in the UK but I held on, and Arthur was with me the entire time. He’s been with me every single day and we’ve had our moments, we’ve had our times of doubt and we’ve wondered if it’s worth it... but it is. He’s the only person who can make me cry tears of pain and love at the same time. He’s the reason I make an effort to eat more than once a day, the reason I even graduated university the first time and decided to pursue a second degree in psychology with counselling because I want to devote my life to helping people like Arthur. He saved my soul, he changed my life, and I will never be able to say thank you or I love you enough to him. It’s ironic, really, when one considers my hobby of being a semi-decent writer.

The relationship happened naturally, I just... felt an instant, very intense connection. I’ve been a self-shipper for my entire life, even before I knew what it was called, and I’ve always known that when I feel a pull inside me, it means that something is real, right, and it’s meant for me. These rings I wear for him are comfort items, a symbol of love and devotion to Arthur, but also a symbol of commitment to myself. To take care of me, to be kind to myself (failing at that last one right now but I’m trying)... to try. I love Arthur Fleck very dearly and I never want to live another day without him now that I know the magic of his existence. He’s the reason I’m so soft and kind even when I just want to be cold and bitter and angry. He’s the reason I’m here today, my love, and I’ll never be able to live in such a way that my gratitude and love will be adequately expressed. I love him. So much.

I’m crying from love right now and my heart’s squeezing in my chest and it actually hurts physically but I love this ache. This soul deep yearning for someone not in this reality, but someone who’s arguably more real than any of us are because after we’re all dead, Arthur will remain. He’s forever. He’s my forever. I won’t ever love like this again and I don’t want to. I identify as aro-ace in reality so this marriage to him is ideal for me, just like he is. He’s perfectly imperfect and I love him and... I’m out of words. He always brings me to the point where words run dry.

So, anyway. sksksk thank you so much for your questions, darling, and for your curiosity, it means a lot to me! I hope that I’ve answered you properly and if you have any more questions, then please let me know! I hope that you’re safe and well!💖

#erileck #self-shipping #nonnie #requests closed

[aromantic-in-distress]

A long post about my aromantic experiences.

Here we go guys.

I wish I knew I was aro before I was 12. Romance was everywhere, and annoying before I was 12, but hey; I had bigger fish to fry at that age. When I was 12, I started junior high. In junior high, my classes went from this: sitting in a class for a couple hours; bathroom breaks; going next door to change classes; lunch; and more classes, to change classes every 45 minutes to 1 hour with 5 minutes in between.

I could talk.

I had never even thought of being able to talk between classes, and now, it was common place. I had made a couple friends and I had a place to sit at when lunch came around. I sat at a table, with (what I thought was) five other alloromantic 12-year-old-girls.

BIG MISTAKE.

After we had grown closer, my friends do the whole "who do you have a crush on" thing. This had happened before. I had usually picked guys I had mild squishes on, but uh. Yeah. I had a "crush" on the strangest boy in the grade. "What about [popular guys name]? Everyone has a crush on him." Even my current, actual squish had crush on this guy.

I didn't understand what made him so cool. Was it because he was shy? Or smart? Or blond? Or tall? I just kinda looked at him like:

Why?

He was the dude almost all the girls liked and I didn't. Why?

So valentines day came around. I hated it at the time but I couldn't tell you why? (Hint I'm aromantic). I gave him (two) roses.

UPROAR.

I was laughed at for the next two semesters (almost a calendar year, if anyone wasn't familiar with the American school system) and he was the one driving the mocking.

At first I was really confused. No one liked him (romantically) and few people liked him (as a person).

Not liking me back was one (expected) thing. Making fun of me for liking you when you're already at the bottom of the barrel? That was a totally different (unexpected) thing. I was upset, to say the least. People kept laughing at me.

Fast forward to the end of summer break. I dated a guy for like two weeks so I could "try the romance"

Gross.

We're still really good friends though, which helped me out. I guess.

Fast forward (again I know) it's Valentines day again. I'm 13 now and I am really wondering if I was actually aromantic. I didn't want to be, because everyone had to fall in (romantic) love right?!? (Don't you adore internalised amatonormativity?)

My friend asked me out. I said yes. We dated for a week.

Eww, romance.

We're still good friends after the attempt, but I had discovered that maybe I wasn't cut out for this whole romance jazz.

Fast forward to the worst year of my life yet. I'm a freshman, I'm 14, and I still haven't accepted the fact I'm aro. One of my friends comes out as aro ace, and for a moment, I thought I could to.

I did. It was strange. I felt relieved that I didn't have to pretend anymore. It was nice.

My friend who came out as aro/ace turned out to be demi-ro/ace. Which was fine, but, she fell for my only other friend.

M a j o r O o f

I remember crying (a lot) and questioning my existence. I felt more broken than ever. It seems literally everyone could fall in love; except me. There also was a weird feeling for aro-specs (versus people who were just aro). I supported the rest of my community; just from afar. My demi-ro friend, was very much for the fact that her gf was more important than her other friends, and she was also quite possessive.

I spent that year alone.

I focused a lot on my school work and music stuff, and by the end of the year, I was just confused. It wasn't so much a saddness that I felt towards my "friends" just confusion. Why would someone willing do this to me, with full knowledge of my history with romance? I reasoned that, perhaps its purpose wasn't an act of aggression, but it hurt me regardless of its intentions.

I just wished someone would remove me from existence. I didn't want to die, I just didn't wanna be there.

Fast forward(last time)

As of writing this, I'm about to go over to a friend's house.

I have a friend

I'm starting my second half of my sophomore year in a couple of days. I still talk to my demi-ro friend. I still talk to her gf. We…don't hate each other.

My dearest aros and aro-specs. I get it. Life can throw unwanted things at you. I understand being excluded because of being aro. If you need someone to talk to

I. Am. Here.

#aro post #aro #aroace #aromantism #aromantic #alloaro

[divagonzo]

I don't understand why some prioritise romantic love so much in fiction. Like in fics, Ron usually says something like Hermione is the one he loves most. And I don't get it? He loves her more than his parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, HARRY, and even his children????? Same with Harry, he usually mentions how Ginny is the most important person in his life, and I can't help but think "what about Ron???? What about your children??" Why does love have to be measured and ranked all the time?

‘Ello Nonnie. I hope you don’t mind while I’m tucking into some homemade poutine right now….

I’m going to assume you’re one of my Aces by the wording you used in this ask. If I’m wrong, I’ll admit to it later.

Under a Read More ‘cause this got long fast.

Humans are quite fickle in that they want labels, boxes, sorting, prioritizing, and compartmentalizing. They, in general, are more comfortable by being able to sort these issues out and categorize them by personal importance. So thus, it’s easier to mention that, for most allosexuals, that Romantic love is prioritized (and sometimes also vilified, too.)

Ask 100 people and you’ll have a list of 100 different ordered priorities for them.

In the Grand Scheme of things, yes, romantic love is considered the paragon, the highest priority. It’s the highest if you fit a very narrow scope of such things. Those priorities get a bit wonky when you aren’t that narrow scope person. Those who are Ace… or Aro…. maybe not in a romantic relationship… wouldn’t necessarily make romantic love their priority.

Most people, including writers, won’t specify how someone loves one another. Some could be construed as laziness but it’s more of an unwritten social construct that “romantic love is the priority” especially if it is with people who are partnered off. (I’m intentionally avoiding Polyamory on this issue because, so I understand it, the dynamics are wholly different and I’m going broad brush here.)

But let’s get to brass broomhandles here… we’re talking Ron Weasley, the one who has so many spoons and so much love in his heart and soul that not even powerful dark magic can keep him shut up. This is the lad who went in harms way repeatedly to protect his friends and family.

So for him to say he loves Hermione the most, part of it probably is how he is feeling in that particular moment but also it’s a social expectation in that you love your partner just that much.

It’s bollocks. Love can be a long-term feeling but more importantly, it’s a choice to feel this way. It’s not always blazing fire passion. Sometimes, it’s in the little embers of “Have a great day,” “Thinking of you,” and “Here’s a small bauble for you ‘cause  I thought you’d like it.”

I won’t get into my own situation (but will talk later if anyone is interested) but suffice to say, for many people, their spouse/romantic partner is a priority but not necessarily the only one you do love.

This is especially true for those who ascribe to the mindset that there are different forms of love, all of which are vital, healthy, and important to a person.

They are, listed below,

“Eros” or Erotic Love. The first kind of love is Eros, which is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. …

“Philia” or Affectionate Love. …

“Storge” or Familiar Love. …

“Ludus” or Playful Love. …

“Mania” or Obsessive Love. …

“Pragma” or Enduring Love. …

“Philautia” or Self Love. …

“Agape” or Selfless Love.

So let’s go down the list here….

Eros: Love for your partner. For Ron, That’s Hermione (or those who say Harry, that’s good too. YMMV.) He’d say this probably in a moment to reassure Hermione, to let her know he’s not leaving her, he’s there (like she just had a nightmare - whatever.) This doesn’t discount that he loves his parents, his siblings, especially Harry, probably Neville too *and Luna especially* but this particular flavor of love would be focused on his romantic partner. (AKA Hermione.)  He’s chosen his one and focusing on his own partner and their needs. (And better be hopefully reciprocated from their partner.)

Philia: Affectionate Love. This could be for Luna, for Harry, for pretty much anyone that Ron feels especially close to without feeling the need to engage in (adult behaviors behind closed doors). Yes, there are plenty of people who engage in Philia with people whom they are not married to. I’ve got quite a few who fill this category. (And being a Dragon with trust issues, this is huge.)

Storge: Familial Love. This is for his siblings, parents, nephews, and nieces, maybe even cousin Barny. The bonds are there, they bind, and it’s a welcome feeling to spend time with them. You don’t want to necessarily want to be overly affectionate with them (limits are probably a Bro Hug, maybe a kiss on the cheek if it’s Mom or Dad) - and no further. (Anything further is greatly frowned upon in Western Society.)

Ludus - playful love can be with kids by enjoying the time spent with them. It’s silliness and pranking and being goofy.

Mania - in short, the Potions Professor for Ms. Evans. #enoughsaid

Pragma - enduring love. This is the big one for me and probably Ron, too. It’s those who are ride or die, be there on your worst day or your best, and fight by your side or celebrate living another day. It’s the one you’re sitting at a table when you’re 80 playing chess because they are still rubbish at it but it’s time spent together and that’s wonderful. It’s a quiet contentment with your partner, with no need to fill the quiet space but enjoying the time spent with them.

Philautia - self-love. (No, not that. I won’t get into the grotty bits of this.) (This is ace safe) but the big point here is that you’re content with who you are and are comfortable in your skin, with your well-being, welfare, and how life is going. It’s that you don’t want to check out early and if you were snatched away you’d be madder than a wet moggie on Sunday.

Agape: Sacrificial Love. See Harry J Potter. But aside that, I’d say Ron Weasley falls into this one particular, especially with those who he is closest to, like Harry and Hermione. There are numerous examples in the books where he puts his own safety and welfare at the back of the line, looking out for his best friends and siblings and more. His martyr complex did drive much of it, especially with his rubbish self-worth by the end of the BoH, but I think that had anything happened to H or H, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.  Rather he pay the price and neither of the others.

So, in short? There are numerous examples of all 8 forms of love and it really depends on the person what they value the most. The thing is, most people won’t read the gen fic that focuses on the other forms of love (aka in need of fluff) besides Eros or Philios. But then those of us who fall into the 1% would - but that’s where we need to write our own stories and tales, so we can focus on the other forms of love besides Eros.

But there’s also the aspects of a personal love language, in how you show these forms of affection for someone. Ron? Loves his wife, his kids, his best mate, his siblings, his family. All receive the love from him but it’s different flavors of it. But since this is fic, it’s focused on Eros.

But that shouldn’t discount that other forms of love are vital and healthy and necessary.

#Anonymous #Dragon asks #Dragon listens #Dragon speaks #Dragon talks XXX #Dragon talks forms of love #and why fic focues so much on the romantic love #when others are just as important in a person's life