#Jay! Where have you been loca?

[solazu1]

Ohhh my god nobody fucking look at me I know I know

#Blame jay merrick supremacy server pls #Yes.. yeah it’s a satire twilight x mh shitpost i know #I KNOW. #DONT. DONT LOOK AT ME #Brian is Jacob #Jay! Where have you been loca? #HELP #marble hornets #tim wright #jay merrick

[a-wayne-at-heart-too]

The Robins as...

DICK:

If truth be told, he’s not that fond of being in the driver’s seat on these trips. After all, he’s usually the one who initiates them, and being at the wheel robs him of some bonding time with his siblings while in transit.

Tim: “Now, Simon says, try to reach the little toe of your left foot with the little finger of your right hand from the back --” 

Dick: *starts to do as Tim says*

BatRV: *swerves dangerously close to a cliff*

Jason: “Uh, you’re NOT PART OF THE GAME, DICKWAD!”

Dick: *regains control of the vehicle* “Whoops, sorry!”

Dick: *smirks* “You just don’t want me to win.”

Damian: “One of these days we’re leaving you at home, Grayson.”

His taste in music... Okay, it’s not that bad. Once in a while it’s even really good. But what drives everyone else restless is that his playlists are on repeat.

Damian: *in the passenger seat, reaching out for the console*

Dick: *wiggles his finger at Damian* “Uh uh uuuuh! You know the consequence of touching that dial.”

Damian: *retracts his hand and sulks* “-Tt- I’m not interested in your hour-long hugs.”

Dick: “Okay, that’s a teeny bit hurtful, Little D. But, guys, this stuff helps me stay awake. And since you’re not letting me join any of your games...”

Jason: *grabbing fistfuls of his own hair* “I swear, Goldie, one more ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ and I’m leavin’ this loco --”

Tim: *grabbing his backpack and his Bathoverboard* “Want me to come with you?”

Dick: *activates the Child Lock* “This is why you bring that hoverboard?”

>>>---<<<

JASON:

He might as well have coined the phrase “pedal to the metal” because when he’s at the wheel, you can expect the travel time to be cut by at least half (when it’s done properly, that is).

Dick: *sheepishly waving at the horrified cashier lady as he whispers to Jason* “When I said ‘Let’s drive-through’, this wasn’t what I meant, Jay...”

Damian: *shaking his head at what’s left of the wall at the Batburger drive-through lane* “Todd, remind me to thank you for delaying our vacation for at least another hour and a half.”

Jason: *revving up the engine* “Then maybe next time we don’t take the Batmonster truck when it’s my turn to drive, huh?”

Tim: *returns to the truck after speaking with the manager and grabs a checkbook from his backpack* “I hope Bruce likes owning a fast food chain.”

As much as he’s in a hurry when he’s driving to their destination, he sure takes his sweet time on the way back home. By then, everyone else is already worn out from all the fun they’ve had and he welcomes the peace that comes with it.

Dick: *in the backseat, snoring lightly*

Tim: *in the passenger seat, mumbling in his sleep*

Jason: *grins as he secretly admits to himself that trips like this were worth it, right before he notices the bloody roadkill in their path, which induces a flashback of -- *

Jason: *hits the brakes suddenly, causing the truck to jerk forward*

Dick: *shifts positions, then resumes snoring*

Tim: *wipes slobber off his face, then remains unconscious* 

Damian: “Todd.”

Jason: *breathing heavily* “Damian? You’re up?”

Damian: “I haven’t slept.”

Jason: “Well, it’s still a long way out, little buddy. Go to sleep.”

Damian: “Perhaps... you could use the company.”

Jason: “... Okay.”

Damian: “Okay.”

>>>---<<<

TIM:

Backseat driver. Literally.

Jason: *staring at the self-steering wheel in front of him, frowning* “So... What am I supposed to do here, Timbo?”

Tim: *reclining the backseat until his legs are up, then puts his hands behind his head as he relaxes into it* “Nothing. That’s the beauty of it.”

Dick: *shaking his head, amused* “You’re no fun.”

Tim: *sips coffee from his guzzler helmet* “Oh, yeah? Activate ‘Mask of Zorro’ protocol. Code 1940.”

Windshield: *morphs into a projection screen and starts playing a movie* 

Damian: “Perhaps you're not totally useless after all, Drake.”

He doesn’t “text and drive”. Oh, goodness, no... That’d be too easy. (Also, his concept of a “vacation” is a bit muddled.)

Tim [speaking into the Bluetooth headset]: “No, Lucius, I totally get that, but if LexCorp stock were to plummet --” *rattles on in corporate jargon as he navigates through a myriad of encrypted folders on his laptop (which is expertly balanced on the dashboard) with one hand and steers the BatSUV with the other*

Damian: *in the passenger seat, gesturing to Tim* “Pennyworth repeatedly brings up that one time I read an urgent text message from Superboy while driving and he gets away with this behavior?”

Dick: “First of all, technically, you shouldn’t even be driving yet. And, secondly, trust me, Tim’s gonna have his day in court with Alfred.”

Tim: “Hack into it? You’re asking me if I can hack into Luthor’s system?” *turns on his hologram projector, which instantly generates a virtual map of the entire LexCorp database* “Do robins fly --” *pauses, then nods his head slowly and shuts off the projector* “Oh... You’re telling me I shouldn’t do that. Got it.”

Jason: *grabs a handful of popcorn from a bowl before passing it to Dick, who’s in the backseat with him* “Why doesn’t he just activate that autopilot crap again?” 

Dick: *shrugs* “Boy Wonder loves a challenge.”

>>>---<<< 

DAMIAN: 

Sure, he drives. But only when they’ve gotten at least fifty miles away from Bruce and Alfred and have ensured that all tracking devices have been disabled (at least to the best of their knowledge).

Damian: *frantically searching the Batcampervan while they’re parked at an abandoned gas station in the middle of nowhere* “Where are those boots --” *looks up to see Jason holding them above his head* “Todd, you piece of $#^% --”

Dick: “Hey. Language.”

Damian: “You’d rather I break Todd’s bones, Grayson?”

Jason: *smirks* “Say you’re the mediocre Robin and I’ll give them back.”

Tim: *sniggers* “Oh, what’s the matter, tiny bird? Can’t reach the pedals without them?”

Damian: *clenching his fists* “When I’m through with the both of you, you’ll have those pedals jammed down your --”

Dick: *checks his watch and sighs* “That’s enough, guys. Let Damian drive. It's his turn. And we’re running late.”

And since he also inherited his father’s “drama queen gene"...

Tim: *staring at the clouds through a window in the Batjet* “What part of road trip didn’t you get, brat?”

Damian: “You’re free to jump off at any time, Drake. I’ll even open the hatch for you.”

Dick: “Bruce is gonna pop a vein when he finds out this thing’s missing from the Batcave, but I have to say... Not bad, Little D.”

Tim: *rolls his eyes* “Because you wanna jump.”

Dick: *smirks as he adjusts his jumpsuit and puts on goggles* “Because I wanna jump.”

Jason: *strapping on a parachute* “Man, I don’t remember the last time we did this just for fun, and not for ‘justice’ or whatever. Now, open that hatch, baby!”

Damian: *with smug grin on his face* “Say I’m the excellent Robin and I’ll open it.”

>>>---<<<

Hey, @nocanonhere​, I’m sorry it took a while for me to answer this Ask. It was honestly a fun suggestion. Thank  you!

P.S. While it did occur to me to feature other Batfamily members (since I love the idea of them being on family trips), my sleep-deprived brain cells only had enough energy to focus on these four. I’m hoping to expound on this idea someday soon, though.

#a-wayne-at-heart-too | originals #The Robins as #Richard Grayson #Jason Todd #Timothy Drake #Damian Wayne

[mimssides]

Life on Crow Avenue: Part 24

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Roman went to practice an hour and a half later. Samantha had to rescheduled it, since she had a prior engagement. Roman didn’t mind but it meant that Janus wouldn’t come, since he always played at James’ Jazz Palace on Fridays. Which was fine, of course. He had just hoped that his friend (they were friends yes, he reminded himself) would be there and spend some time with him.

Because no matter how much Roman liked Patton, Logan, Virgil and especially his brother it was different to be around Janus. It made him relax and dream like he used to before so many things had happened. Well, not exactly like then but it was close enough to feel nostalgic and yet different enough to not hurt. And it was nice to have things not hurting you for a little bit.

A little lost and discouraged Roman parked his car and mentally steeled himself, so he could smile and go smoothly through practice tonight. With a last sigh he slid out of his car seat and walked towards the entrance. With a small hum on his lips, he went inside.

“Like what you see, Mr. Superstar Actor?”

Roman froze on the spot. In front of him stood Janus, repeating his words from the very first time they really spoke but now so much fonder and warmer than then. He wore a black dress shirt, the yellow vest from his performances, black dress pants, his black bowler hat and a yellow bow tie.

Under other circumstances, Roman would have whipped out a smart retort and asked playfully what was going on. But right now, Roman couldn’t do that. Life had been a lot lately and even though he was finally able to sleep in his own bed again, since they moved the kittens out of his bed last Tuesday, he still felt somewhat exhausted and watching Janus smile at him like this really did something to him.

“Hey...” Roman managed to mumble and pushed his hair back, despite it being in perfect shape.

Janus’s look softened more and he walked towards him.

“Are you surprised?”

Roman subconsciously scratched a spot on his hairline and bit his lower lip.

“Surprised would be a word for it, yeah,” Roman admitted not quite certain what to think of all of this.

Janus shifted on his feet, placing his walking stick in front of him and said calmingly: “That’s alright. It’s supposed to be a surprise but I don’t want to overwhelm you. This is meant to be relaxing for you, after all.”

Roman felt a little uncomfortable. He didn’t know why exactly. He was happy to see Janus, really happy even, but all of this seemed weird and he did not understand what was exactly happening in this moment.

“Tonight is no practice,” Janus explained without being prompted to. “I asked Sam to not tell you, so I could get you to take a break. The meeting wouldn’t have been today no matter what, so I was just seizing the opportunity to get you out of your four walls and, well, force you gently to have some time away from home and distress for a moment. I have planned a few things we could do, but you’re setting the pace, you will say what you want and if you want to go home to your brother and the kittens, I will not stop you.”

Roman let that sink in. He kept staring at Janus, who was still smiling, still standing and still being patient with him. It grounded him immensely.

“So, I have – I have a choice?” Roman asked slowly.

A shiver ran down Roman’s spine when Janus said: “You have all the choices, Roman. Tonight, you can have whatever I can reasonably give you.”

Roman’s lips twitched and he could not stop himself but smile. Not the practiced one for his friends but the wobbly one for himself. And Janus saw the difference and stepped closer stretching out his hand for him. And Roman took it.

Janus laughed lightly and asked him: “Does this mean you would like to stay with me?”

Roman nodded bashfully and Janus’s smile widened.

“Alright then. But first, before you decide what we’ll do; How are you Roman? How do you feel?”

Roman squeezed Janus’s hand and looked down to his feet. He watched his foot tap quietly on the floor and realized how tingly he felt.

“A bit nervous?” Roman tried not quite sure if that description was really what fit his current emotional state.

“There are no wrong answers. Take your time.”

Roman looked up again. He recognized the tone. It was the one Janus used for Virgil, when he got anxious for some reason. He knew he did not like that feeling. But he ignored it for the time being and instead said: “A bit uncertain and unprepared fits probably better. I – I don’t think I had an evening away from home and my brother in – in a very long time? I feel a little lost really, so, uh – maybe you could tell me what our options are?”

Janus playfully bowed his head and explained: “Of course, Roman. I can offer you several places to go and have a nice dinner, potentially a spa evening if that’s to your liking, a theatre or cinema visit or a casual dinner down in our practice room.”

Roman blinked. A spa... evening? He began to giggle and shook his head. With raised eyebrows he glanced down to Janus, who matched his look flawlessly.

“I think casual dinner sounds about right for now. I’m not fancy enough for high dining, too fancy for cinema and definitely not comfortable enough to go in a spa and let someone massage me or something like that,” Roman said and Janus bowed his head.

“Then, please follow me,” Janus said and Roman walked behind him as the went downstairs into the room where they usually had theatre practice.

Janus held the door open for him and Roman was about to make a joke about his gentleman like behaviour when he got a proper look of the room. It was a rather big room, only little natural light from three cellar windows on the west side, a few posters hung at the light beige walls and usually there was a circle of chairs in the middle of it. Yet now there stood a table in its middle with a white tablecloth and pristine plates and cutlery sitting on it. A few chairs stood in the edges of the room, decorated with red clothes and a few props were carefully placed on them.

“I hope this is to your liking?” Janus asked and Roman turned around with a stunned expression.

Janus raised one eyebrow and smirked. With a smooth motion he let him know to follow him and pulled out a chair for him. A bit baffled Roman sat down and Janus chuckled a little as he watched him.

“Would you do me the favour of closing your eyes for a moment? I have another little thing to prepare,” Janus asked of him and with a soft nod Roman closed his eyes.

He listened to Janus walking around for a bit. There was the sound of a lighter and then he got distracted by quiet music starting to play. He concentrated and recognized it from a play he had watched once. He liked it and forgot to listen to Janus’s steps for a few moments. Only when Janus’s steps were getting closer again, he turned his head towards the noise and realized that he was standing next to the table. Roman frowned a little when the lighter made a sound again and Janus walked away once more.

“Alright then, my friend. You may open your eyes.”

Roman did so and immediately turned to look towards the door where Janus’s voice had been coming from. Janus was standing next to the light switch and – the room was dimly lit with candles. He looked back to the table and saw a white candle flicker on the middle of it.

Roman just stared at the tiny light for a moment. Looked at it move and breath in its small and subtle way and pressed his hand over his mouth. The gesture was not grand. It was not hard to prepare a room like this or light candles. But it needed time and consideration and Roman was not sure if he remembered someone had given him either unconditionally in the past few months, maybe even year, besides his brother.

Movement from the door let Roman fall out of his thought process and he looked towards it. Janus was coming closer, expression a little softer, less suave. He walked to the opposite side of the small table and sat down slowly. For a moment Janus just looked at Roman and let him feel the quiet.

“Feeling alright there, Roman?” Janus asked finally.

The smile Janus got as a reply as Roman pulled his hand away from his mouth was blinding. It was the first moment in that evening that Janus would lose a bit of his cool and it was perfectly timed as Roman took his chance and used that little waver to his advantage.

“I need you to know something about me, Janus,” Roman said a euphoria and a tiny spec of playful teasing shining through. “I show my adoration for things through teasing, because sometimes it’s just too much to right out say how much something means to you, you know? And this? This room, the candles, the music? This is absolutely ridiculous.”

Both began to laugh a little, ignoring how Janus pushed a handkerchief over the table so Roman could dry his cheeks from the few tears that had fought their way out of his eyes.

“It looks fantastic, Jay. When did you do this? How long-?”

Roman had cut himself off and Janus took it as a sign to talk: “Thank you. While the plan was mine and mine alone, I had a bit of help from Rodriguez. We met this afternoon around three and I have planning this for around two to three weeks or so. It’s hard to catch such a busy individual as yourself off clock.”

Roman’s smile broadened and he asked Janus about the music he chose. Janus explained his process as he took out a fancy bottle and a plate of some appetizer sandwiches from a little cart close to the table. Even before Roman could say anything about the ‘wine’ Janus told him that it was in fact juice that he had put in a wine bottle for aesthetic reasons.

Janus couldn’t continue with his talk about his music because his explanation threw Roman in a five-minute-long laughing fit. He pouted but despite himself, he found Roman’s snorting and giggling quite endearing. When he finally calmed again, Janus resumed his talk about the music he had chosen and Roman took his time to listen and eat and drink. After a few titles and the reasoning behind them, Roman caught onto the music which was playing and his eyes began to light up.

“Defying Gravity? You put Wicked into this?” Roman asked while listening to Glinda and Elphaba singing in their dispute.

Janus blinked a bit taken aback from the sudden interruption but quickly caught himself and said amused: “You mentioned that you like dramatic numbers and this one is very powerful and uplifting. I expected you would enjoy it.”

“Oh, I adore it! Elphaba is one of my favourite characters! She’s so smart and strong and I just like her whole spiel! If I had a better range, I would absolutely try and sing more of her parts,” Roman babbled and Janus feels himself leaning back a little.

“If you could, you would play Elphaba? Not Fiyero or Glinda?”

“She’s the hero type and I’ve got a weak spot for those roles. A tragic hero, admittedly, but a hero nevertheless,” Roman said and took a sip of his juice.

They held eye contact for a long moment until Janus cleared his throat and announced: “I did order some food. Remus said that you enjoy Chinese take-out the most, which I know does not fit the vibe but it’s your comfort food so I took that risk. He told me which menu and which place is the best in your opinion and well, it’s arriving soon. So, let me go and grab it, while you think about what you want.”

“What I want? But you already ordered?” Roman asked confused.

A smirk appeared on Janus’s lips and he told his guest while already leaving the room: “I was not talking about the food, dear. What do you want in general? What would you want to have in your ideal world? In your dreams?”

And with that Janus disappeared.

As someone told me lately: “Everyone deserves the chance to fly!”

Roman blinked. What he wanted. What he dreamed about. In an ideal world. That was a rather dreamy question from a man like Janus. He seemed to be more of a pessimist or realist to Roman. And yet Roman could not bother himself to think about that anymore as his thoughts escaped to some fantasies, he had had to push away due to the life he had been living.

After ten minutes Roman heard the door open and swiftly got up, as he saw Janus enter with a few food containers. Janus already wanted to protest when Roman took a few of his hands, but stopped when Roman shot him a fond look and insisted: “Oh, just let me help you, you drama queen.”

Janus let it happen and they laid out their food for their dinner. Roman took noodles first, while Janus preferred to start with a soup.

“So, Rem knows of this?” Roman asked after swallowing his first bite.

“He does, yes,” Janus said casually. “Also, the rest of the theatre group even though that the don’t have any details. I had to tell them because Sam is away every year around this time and would have blown my cover had I not told them not to. And because of Renee’s noisy nature Patton as well as Logan are in the picture.”

Roman chuckled at Janus’s dramatic eyeroll.

“I’m impressed how many people managed to not let this slip through. You must have bribed them royally.”

“You’d be surprised, but no bribery was involved in this whole mission. They were eager enough to shut their mouths if it you would profit from it. Our mutual friends wanted to see you happy. Believe it or not.”

I don’t. Roman raised his eyebrows with a smile, not quite as certain and convincing as it usually was. Janus took note of it but did not bring it up again.

Instead, he changed the topic again and asked Roman: “Now, have you thought about what you would want if you could have anything?”

Roman paused his chop sticks mid-air. His eyes almost glazed over at the thought and then at once there shone through something warm and very, very vulnerable.

“In a perfect world, I’d be an actor and I’d perform somewhere far away from here and where I was born. I’d be happy to be myself, I’d have fans and I’d write autographs and I’d make people happy and I’d speak up for those whose voice is silenced.”

Roman paused and looked at Janus. The smile was still on his lips but he had crossed his arms and his fingers were digging into the skin of his upper arms even through the red fabric of his turtleneck sweater.

“That’s noble,” Janus said in a quiet tone.

Roman grinned and broke the eye contact.

“Maybe, but it’s not really perfect... There’s so much I can’t account for. So many things that would have needed to go differently for that to be true. And it would also destroy the good things, the more than good thing happening in my life right now...”

“Like what?”

“Like you.”

It came so effortlessly over Roman’s lips that Janus almost didn’t register the meaning of it. But as it hit, it let him miss the soft glint in Roman’s eyes as his look settled on the cane which was leaning against the table.

“Perfection is such a weird thing. Like it’s supposed to be perfect, but how would we have met you and the others, if it was not for our imperfect decisions and imperfect life? We would have missed out so much and while the bad things were there, I would not want to give this moment away.”

Put On A Happy Face was playing in the background. Roman laughed and pushed a few stray hairs behind his ear. He should be grateful for what he had. For the chances he had been given, not many people could live a life like his and could still call themselves lucky enough to be standing.

“You do know that you are allowed to dream and desire things nevertheless?”

Roman frowned and looked at Janus. The man looked at him intently, no longer caught off guard or uncertainty residing in his expression.

Softly, but firmly Janus continued: “While perfection is a deceptive thing, there is no shame in wishing for a better or different reality of future. Or even wishing some things in the past had gone down differently. Life is hard and you are your closest friend, Roman. It is your goal to make yourself happy. And that can mean that you act or think selfishly, which is fine too. I am a very selfish person and I’m absolutely not ashamed of it. Who but me will take care of me at the end of the day, pray tell?”

Roman gulped. He felt tears well up in his eyes and take an airy breath as a bitter smile spread on his face.

“... There are things I’d change or want even though I know I can’t have them... I’d love to perform or sing in front of a big audience. I... I’d like to be recognized for the things I do... And-” Roman’s demeanour changed and intensity stirred in his body - “I want Remus to be mentally stable. I want that he didn’t have to see my body after the accident. I want my father to be gone, just gone. I don’t care where but just somewhere where he can’t hurt anybody anymore.”

Janus was about to get up. To go and hold Roman for as long as he needed, just as Patton and Virgil had done it that evening after Remus’s attempt. Bur Roman held up his hand. Janus halted and watched Roman’s lips shiver but his expression softened and his shoulders slowly growing less tense.

Then he licked his lips and said to Janus: “You said that you’d give me whatever I wanted and you can reasonably give me… So, please, let’s not – not talk about this? Let’s not make my sorrow and grief be what we remember about tonight. I don’t want them to be with me tonight, even though it’s hard for me to push these thoughts away. But maybe I can do it with your help, so… Will you help me?”

“Yes. It’s the least I can do,” Janus answered without missing a beat.

A smile curled up in the edges of Roman’s lips and Janus found himself making mental notes of all those things he had mentioned. He would bring them up when the time was right. He would see if he could help Roman with his troubles.

But now he decided to go for a different route, took another spoonful of soup and asked Roman after swallowing: “When we first met here, you said to me that this is your chance to flee from the person you had to be everywhere else. It was an intriguing answer you gave me there, you know?”

“It was?”

“Oh yes,” Janus said in a slightly playful tone. “I have rarely looked forward to see a stranger again as much as I did back then. I wanted to hear more of his dreams, more of what the mysterious stranger’s wished his life to be like.”

“If it was with his life right now,” Roman said not quite looking at Janus but at the flame of the candle, “He’d like to get to have a guest number once on Broadway, Stay, I Pray You would be nice, he’d say. He’d want to eat a good meal on most days. He’d like to see his twin happy. Really, truly happy. And he’d like to go back one last time. Just see how it is now, how the people from back then are doing.”

And then Roman looked up. The candle light illuminated him warmly and the flame danced as a reflection in his eyes.

“He’d love to know how an artist like this charming man with the black bowler hat ended up working in the pet store of his nephew.”

A laugh died in Janus’s throat as he heard that and asked Roman while raising his eyebrow: “An artist? Me?”

Roman smiled softly and tilted his head to the side.

“Yes, of course,” he insisted nonchalantly. “I know what an artist looks like. A person who lives far more for the art they create than the audience they have or don’t have. I see it when you play all those Friday nights. What you do is not a performance. What you do is art. And I want to know how that art ended up in a pet store.”

Janus looked down at his now empty bowl of soup and took the Cantonese style fried rice with duck. Personal questions were not his favourite. Quickly, he glanced up and eyed Roman for a moment. He wouldn’t force him to tell him more than he wanted. This was not information he would use against him. Frankly, Janus didn’t think that it was information that could even be used against him.

“I don’t know about being an artist,” Janus said as he watched his rice between the chop sticks, “but I definitely ended up in a pet store because of Virgil. The kid – the kid ‘s always been important to me. And I didn’t have a lot of other things to do, anyway. I had been working in Sancus’s back office after finishing college and helping around with family business after I’ve turned 23, so I didn’t really mind the change when Virgil came up with the idea three years ago. He came to me and asked if I thought that opening a pet store could work out for him. And I said yes and helped him get everything together, took a few classes with him, so we would actually know what we were doing and asked some family for helping us with a location and where to get some trustworthy suppliers and after a year we had things ready to go.”

“That’s fascinating! What was your major in college if I may ask?”

Janus delayed answering that question for a moment by eating some rice. He didn’t manage to stall long though as he felt Roman’s eyes on him and eventually explained: “Music education. Not that I ever got to use that but I was good at it.”

“Music education? Like in becoming a teacher for music?”

Janus huffed, his eyes brows slightly twitched upwards and he had to force his voice to sound evenly as he said: “Yes, I know. People don’t see me in that position.”

“Why? I’ve never seen you teach someone something but I can see you doing a good job at it! You’re a good talker, have a fantastic presence and are patient. That’s ideal for any teacher, I’d say.”

The rice fell off Janus’s chop sticks. He blinked several times. He couldn’t believe that Roman had just said that. Even more so, that Roman sounded like he believed what he had said. Nobody ever thought that he would make a good teacher even though he had always been very good with all of his nephews and nieces of all ages.

“Are you alright? You look like you just froze,” Roman asked after a few more moments of Janus not responding.

“I – You most certainly weren’t the first person to ever tell me I’d make a good teacher. Totally expected that.”

Hastily, Janus began to pick up his rice again and kept his eyes on his food. Embarrassment was not something he was used to deal with and the second he heard Roman breathe in he tensed awaiting some amused jab or light joke Janus would not be able to take at all.

“It’s okay.”

Damned be that warm voice that led Janus to glimpse up and watch Roman as he continued: “Sometimes the people you’re closest with can’t see what you really can do. They can’t see your change and growth because they see you everyday and that all. So, they miss your potential and that’s how you miss your potential as well. You’re the closest person to yourself, you even said that before, which is why you sometimes miss how hundreds of little changes became a big one and made you a new person.”

Janus raised his eyebrow a little and smirked. It was his attempt to hide the fluttering heart beating against his chest and the emotion welling up within his mind. Judging the smug smile on Roman’s face it didn’t quite work and Janus found himself not minding it all that much.

They continued eating and Roman asked Janus about what he would have liked to teach his students and how his ideal school day would look like. Answering Roman was a lot easier than Janus could ever have imagined; he was attentive, gave him all the time he needed to formulate his statements, laughed and asked questions at the perfect places. Or well, maybe it just seemed perfect to Janus because Roman was interested in what he was saying, was listening, was genuinely happy as Janus talked and Janus really liked to have somebody listening to him and enjoying the time they spent together.

Janus really liked talking with Roman. Janus liked Roman.

They had stopped eating a while ago and by now their conversation changed topics several times and Roman was now talking about a play he had been in in High School. Janus didn’t properly listen to what he was saying though. His mind was preoccupied with finding reasons to not get closer to Roman, to not reach for his right hand which rested on the table, to simply not get in a dangerous distance to his … friend.

And suddenly Janus noticed that Roman had stopped talking. A little startled he refocused and saw how Roman looked to the speakers, which were playing a rather slow instrumental piece. Right, he had changed the playlist to a slower one a while ago.

Roman’s gaze was suddenly back on Janus. He rested his elbow on the table and placed his head on top of his hand with a teasing smirk on his lips. Subconsciously Janus gulped. Suddenly he felt very hot for some reason.

“This would be good music to waltz to.”

Wait. Waltz? As in dancing?

“Of course, as in dancing. I wouldn’t want to waltz over you,” Roman said slightly laughing and sat up in his chair.

“Did I say that out loud?”

That made Roman laugh out loud and despite himself Janus chuckled as well over his own awkwardness.

But eventually Roman regained his composure and told Janus: “But now seriously; this is good music to dance to. If I may be so straight forward, despite my very much queer nature, would you be interested in a dance with me?”

Janus was not a good walker. He was no sportsman in any sense of the word either. He hadn’t mourned those facts since he was twelve years old.

“You might have forgotten, but I am not particularly good at walking.”

“And?”

Janus gaped and shook his head: “Why would you want to dance with me? I can’t dance. I never learnt it and I am not really equipped to be good at it.”

Roman tilted his head a little to the side. Then he got up from his chair and walked up to Janus’s seat. Just in front of him he put his hand next to his on the table and leaned slightly towards him.

“Who asked you to be good at it?” Roman hummed and let his finger softly tap against Janus’s. “You don’t need to be good at it and I’ll show you how. You can even take your kind, whatever makes you comfortable. We can make it work. The question is only; Do you want to dance with me?”

And despite everything, Janus did want to dance with Roman.

“I do.”

Roman’s smile grew and he stepped back to let Janus stand up. After a short moment, Janus decided to go without the cane and let Roman guide him away from the table. In a low (and awfully sensual) voice Roman told him how it worked and placed his hands above Janus’s hip and one in his hand.

 And then Roman began to lead. Stiffly Janus tried to move along, stared down to his feet. He knew the rhythm, he was good at rhythm things, and his right leg seemed to move rather easily along the music. The left one though did not cooperate. He wasn’t used to move it backwards, to the left and to the right so much. It didn’t really hurt; it was simply uncomfortable and he wanted to better for Roman. He wanted to be good for Roman.

Suddenly, Roman’s hand was gone from his shoulder and beneath his chin softly lifting it up.

Wide eyed Janus looked up as Roman said: “My eyes are up here, love. Staring at your feet won’t make you more comfortable. Just focus on me.”

“Oh, just focus on you. As if I hadn’t been doing that already,” Janus mumbled which elicited a sweet little snort from his dancing partner.

“I almost can’t believe you. I don’t feel as if I had your unshared attention, you know?”

“Oh, you do Señor Segura Reyes, you do.”

Their voices had grown low and they stood far closer to each other than the dancing required them to be. Roman could feel the buttons’ of Janus’s vest through his own pullover and already registered that his forehead would most likely bump into the rim of Janus’s hat when he got just a little bit closer.

“Your eyes are the most intense umber I’ve possibly seen in my whole life.”

“Oh? What else?” Roman whispered breathlessly.

Janus grinned and let the hand on Roman’s shoulder wander towards his neck up towards his jawline, softly stroking over the skin and saying: “I can smell your aftershave and feel the stubble under my fingers. Both very attractive indeed.”

There was an almost inaudible wince from Roman at that last statement and Janus pulled him even closer to himself.

“And then there are your lips of course,” Janus said and looked from them up to Roman’s eyes.

They were sparkling with anticipation.

“They could have my unshared attention at any moment.”

They had stopped moving. They wanted to pull closer but that wasn’t even possible anymore.

“If you want to,” Janus added with a raspy voice.

“Yes, please.”

And then they kissed.

___

Taglist

@varthandi

@sammy-is-obsessed / @exhaustedfander

@alexisrealgay

@softie-sushi

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

@winter-jay-official

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@whattheremus

For this fanfiction:

@frawkeye

@arodynamic-enby

@espepspes

@bullet-tothefeels

@fukindork

@shadeofadye

@magic-but-its-green

@a-non-binary-pan

@simone-the-weird-person

@tlhrfanfic

#sanders sides #roman sanders #janus sanders #roceit #romantic roceit #making out #first kiss #florist/tattoo artist au #Life on Crow Avenue #eir writes #please reblog #we did it! #these fools are finally getting somewhere!

[roguesavior]

Rare question tag game I stole 

I’ll tag @j-erseyboy and @gayperrymason and if anyone else wants to do then go for it!

1. What is your favorite childhood story of yourself?

When I lead a small gang of kids to steal some supplies from a building site and we built a fort in the woods. I was like 7 or 8 and didn’t realise how disruptive it was to do that sfjsdf

2. What is the stupidest way you have ever gotten hurt?

Zipped up my hoodie then pulled it on over my head to see what would happen and what happened was I got the zip stuck on my eyelid. Was also around 7-8 years old then too

3. What was the first PG-13 movie you watched?

Not a clue!

4. What was the first R rated movie you watched?

Scream. I was 4, horror movies were just always on in my house

5. When was the moment you felt most badass?

A rapper (Hyro Da Hero) was supporting a band I was going to a few tour dates of and I’d talked to him a few times and he was cool as hell. One morning we just walked past each other on the street and without speaking or signalling each other we high fived and it felt so damn good, just the timing...perfection 

6. What is a band you can reliably always love?

Green Day, I guess. I’ve been burnt thinking that shit before tho (I’m goin’ with band-bands and not solo babes) 

7. What is your favorite form of self expression?

Music/songwriting but basically whatever makes the person show their feelings the best

8. What is something from your childhood you wish you still had?

A collection of original Jurassic Park toys, I had all the jeeps and dinosaurs and characters and stuff and played them to death but my dad sold them. I re-brought a few from ebay last year but it’s not the same

9. Where is your favorite place on earth?

I haven’t found it yet

10. What is the longest friendship you have ever had?

18 years so far

11. Is there anyone is your life you wish you had met sooner than you did?

Ya

12. Do you believe in ghosts?

YA

13. What is the coldest water you have ever swam in?

A beach in Cornwall during the winter, I ran from the road to the water and my mom got mad because my teeth chattered for like an hour afterwards

14. How old were you when you learned how to swim?

Around 4, ish?

15.  What song do you listen to when you’re sad?

I don’t really listen to music when I’m sad cos I usually end up feeling worse even if it’s good stuff and I’m trying to actively avoid wanting to die

16. Are you an adrenaline junkie?

Noooo I’m a huge wimp. I was 22 before I rode a rollercoaster

17. What is a song that takes you back to childhood?

So many but the first I thought of was Livin Da Vida Loca by Ricky Martin 

18. What is your favorite word?

Fuck

19. What is your least favorite word?

Genitals. It’s just sounds so fuckin gross

20. What scent reminds you of childhood?

Gingerbread men

21. Were you sad when you found out clouds weren’t like pillows, or did you never think that?

Nah, I never thought that 

22. When in life did you laugh the hardest?

Definitely with Jay, I don’t have a clue what we were talking about but it was some time in like 2014 and I laughed so hard I was crying and couldn’t see, and I bent my head into my lap and just smashed my head straight on the desk

23. What makes you laugh when you don’t feel like laughing?

Also probably Jay, we’ll just talk about something ridiculous. And that vine of the girl saying “hello?” when a whole bottle of water is tipped on her face

24. Do you come from a big family?

General family yes cos I have like 30+ cousins but my immediate family is small

25. What is your favorite part of yourself?

Weird flex but I like my forearms

26. What is the worst pain you have ever felt?

When I broke a couple ribs, but that’s probably pretty tame tbf

27. Do you swear often?

All the time

28. Do you get confused for being older or younger than you are?

Younger. I brought a bike the other day and the dude was like “you’re between frame sizes but you’ve got loads of time to grow into the bigger one” but I’m 27 :/ 

29. What is your favorite way to eat a potato?

Chip shop chips (british chips, not like crisp-chips) 

30. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Just when people say I made them feel better when they really needed it, that shits important

31. Describe yourself in 6 words?

Small man yearns for cat cabin

32. What is the worst insult you have ever received?

When someone mistook me for someone else who I super hated 

33. Have you ever taken in any media that changed your life?

I kinda take in a bit of everything worthwhile so that’s a hard thing to answer

34. Have you ever collected anything?

^^ JP toys mentioned above and I’ve got a lot of Game of Thrones and Alien merch and figures too

35. Strangest thing you have ever broken?

Nothing that strange, other than my ribs it’s just been fingers and toes 

36. Weirdest food you have ever eaten?

I used to put gummy cola bottles in a sandwich with crisps. English people will put anything in a sandwich but I don’t think cola bottles are the go-to anywhere

37. Childhood nickname?

Theebo, which my mom still calls me 

38. Most people you have shared a bed with in a non sexual manner?

Three others I think, so four of us in a king size 

39. What is something that makes you fall asleep?

god i wish i knew please tell me

40. Did your parents ever accidentally lose or forget you?

They lost me in the Magic Kingdom in Disneyworld and I thought they were going to fly home without me, it was about 4 hours til I found them. scary shit

41. If you were a superhero what would your weakness be?

Kittens. If you made me pick between a basket of kittens and bus full of people...sorry folks, you’re dead. 

42. What food reminds you of home?

Bread and butter pudding. I rarely even ate any but it was something that got made on Sundays when I was growing up

43. What is your comfort food?

Pizza 

44. Cold room with lots of blankets or hot room with no blankets?

Cold every single time

45. No shoes without socks or no shoes with socks?

First one, I’m usually barefoot

46. Do you run hot your cold?

So, so fucking hot

47. Favorite condiment?

Ketchup is king

48. What utensil do you use the most?

Knives I guess, while cooking

49. When are you most comfortable?

Like 2am when I have nothing to do and am just playing a video game and chatting shit with Jay and it feels like the rest of the world is in bed

50. If you could be really good at one thing, what would it be?

Carpentry. I’d love to just have the skills and $$$ and lack of fear around giant saws half an inch from my hand to go for it and fix shit up/build whatever I could think up

#tag games #long post

[softmagicks]

Answer 21, Tag 21 

 tagged by @marigoldeneyes

1. Nicknames: ...moony lmao. that’s it glkfdnglkfdngdlf NOBODY CALLS ME....... ANYTHING ELSE...............

2. Zodiac Sign: aquarius

3. Height: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh like 5′6ish?

4. Hogwarts 🏠: ....slytherin

5. Last Thing I googled: d.iners, d.rive-ins and dives lmao

6. Favourite Musicians: OOOOF um in no particular order: the d.oors, m.etallica, h.ozier, also still lowkey into like.... livin’ la vida loca era r.icky m.artin lmao

7. Song Stuck in My Head: GOOOOOOD ‘just the girl’ has been stuck in my head all fuckin day and i haTE IT

8. Following Now: 23

9. Followers: 27

10. Do I Get Asks?: sometimes lmao

11. Amount of 💤?: depends tbh

12. Lucky Number: 13

13. What I’m Wearing: tbh i’m still in my gym clothes

14. Dream Job: idk i don’t really... have one

15. Dream Trip: again...... don’t really have one gfdlkngfdlkngdlkn IDK TRAVELING IS A LOT AND I’M.... TIRED(TM)

16. Favorite Food: a bitch loves pasta lmao ALSO...... POZOLE...........

17. Instruments: flute, clarinet, saxophone gknfdlgkfdn

18. Languages: english. i can like... read/understand spanish but my mouth does NOT wanna make the right sounds to speak it lmao 

19. Favorite Song: i put a spell on you by screamin’ jay hawkins is, how u say, a jam

20. Random Fact: the only gODDAMN THING I’M ALLERGIC TO IN THE FUCKING WORLD IS ALMOND BLOSSOMS AND YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE? IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING ALMOND ORCHARD

21. Aesthetic: black coffee, all black everything, flour on your clothes, combat boots, cats lounging in the sun

Tagging: idk steal it and say i tagged u

#* ooc

[brooklynislandgirl]

Una Noche Loca|Closed

@multi-mused

Miami.

She'd never really been before. But after the wedding, there'd been a lull. Jay had gone to Seattle for a visit. Baz...had left, without really saying anything to anyone. And of course, Andy was on his honeymoon. Which left Beth holding almost a month worth of vacation and absolutely no one to spend it with. She'd chosen her destination with a map and a dart she'd forgotten where it had even come from.

So far, it had been alright, the first four days. Miami seemed to be New York's sassier cousin, all about palm trees and the screech of the metro rail. It was both the Labyrinth and the Minotaur, a kind of Pleasure Island for pretty much everyone who wasn't Beth, who felt more like Alice down the rabbit hole. The beaches were nice, the people friendly enough and the food was pretty good. She'd visited little Havana, and little Haiti. She'd managed to catch some waves and art museums, and even some great Latin samba at one park or another. Chatting up the locals, Beth discovered the best place to get cafe con leche, and she'd been kindly directed to the best place drunk, tattooed, and where to hit up the hottest clubs.

She didn't drink, and she wasn't about to step foot into a club without an adultier adult at her side. So. Tattoo it was. She'd always meant to get another one, but never seemed to have the time.

She stood outside Tonic, and took everything in with wide green eyes. The space looked magnificent compared to what she was used to, and the windows oddly made her feel safer, but that didn't mean her heart wasn't pounding inside of her chest. It wasn't that she was a coward, nor that she was terrified of getting inked. Quite the contrary really, she already had one piece, and it was like an addiction. After the first, you always wanted more.

The difference here was she was in a strange city, and the last time she'd gotten one, she'd been with her brother. He'd gotten his on his shoulder, and she got hers on her hip. Ah well, it was about time she started doing things on her own, right?

Right.

With a deep breath, she stepped inside.

#multi-mused #{Trent}

[pli1999]

Party Like It’s 1999 11/4/17

Come on Over to Shania’s Edition

Aerosmith – “Living on the Edge”

Lenny Kravitz – “Always on the Run”

Live – “I Alone”

R.E.M. – “Losing My Religion”

Smashing Pumpkins – “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”

Filter – “Take a Picture”

Citizen King – “Better Days (And the Bottom Drops Out)”

White Town – “Your Woman”

Shania Twain – “(If You’re Not In It for Love) I’m Outta Here”

Sheryl Crow – “Everyday Is a Winding Road’

The Cure – “Friday I’m in Love”

Supergrass – “Alright”

The Farm – “Groovy Train”

New Radicals – “You Get What You Give”

Blues Traveler – “Run-Around”

Faith Hill – “This Kiss”

Shania Twain – “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?”

Dixie Chicks – “Goodbye Earl”

Eagle-Eye Cherry – “Save Tonight”

James – “Laid”

Jessica Simpson – “I Think I’m in Love With You”

Deee-Lite – “Groove Is in the Heart”

Britney Spears – “…Baby One More Time”

Mandy Moore – “Candy”

Robyn – “Show Me Love”

TLC – “Creep”

Whitney Houston – “It’s Not Right (But It’s Okay)”

Destiny’s Child – “Say My Name”

Mariah Carey – “Fantasy”

702 – “Where My Girls At”

Ace of Base – “I Saw the Sign”

Shania Twain – “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” Shania Twain – “That Don’t Impress Me Much”

Amy Grant – “Baby Baby”

Wilson Phillips – “Hold On”

Meredith Brooks – “Bitch”

Blink 182 – “What’s My Age Again”

Blur – “Song 2”

Hole – “Celebrity Skin”

Third Eye Blind – “Semi-Charmed Life”

Spacehog – “In the Meantime”

Chumbawamba – “Tubthumping”

Spice Girls – “Wannabe”

Christina Aguilera – “Come On Over (All I Want Is You)”

Backstreet Boys – “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”

N’SYNC – “Tearing Up My Heart”

5ive – “When the Lights Go Out”

Annie Lennox – “Walking on Broken Glass”

George Michael – “Freedom”

Natalie Imbruglia – “Torn”

Shania Twain – “Any Man of Mine”

Shania Twain – “Don’t be Stupid (You Know I Love You)”

Cardigans – “Lovefool”

Next – “Too Close”

Ginuwine – “Pony”

Mark Morrison – “Return of the Mack”

Ma$e – “Feels So Good”

The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy and Ma$e – “Mo Money Mo Problems”

Will Smith – “Miami”

Lou Bega – “Mambo No. 5”

Aqua – “Barbie Girl”

Real McCoy – “Another Night”

Gloria Estefan – “Turn the Beat Around”

Jennifer Lopez – “Waiting for Tonight”

Ricky Martin – “Living La Vida Loca”

Nirvana – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

Alanis Morissette – “You Oughta Know”

No Doubt – “Just a Girl”

Len – “Steal My Sunshine”

Q-Tip – “Vibrant Thing”

Jay-Z featuring Blackstreet – “The City Is Mine”

Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth – “They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)”

Beastie Boys - “Get It Together”

Nine Inch Nails – “Closer”

Bjork – “It’s Oh So Quiet”

Shania Twain – “You’re Still the One”

Wyclef Jean – “Gone ’Til November”

Guns n’ Roses – “November Rain”

#90snight #partylikeits1999

[unscriptedguidelines]

Fast Lane: Part I

By T. East So here's a snippet of the urban romance novel I'm writing....for fun, once you reboot this, add your own paragraph to the ending of this part ✨🙌🏾 Part I Kash Sometimes in a world where you don’t know what people value more, money or loyalty, you have to grow up and faster than most. Sometimes you have to fight through many obstacles and sometimes you have to bite the bullet and make it out somewhere. I am a living testimony to how you make it in this world. My name is Kasha Saraine Delancy but everybody calls me Kash or KJ for short. I am the Princess of Charlotte….more so the Charlotte Drug trade. My parents were Daniela Martinez-Delancy and Kashon Delancy, the Queen and King of the QC. I say were because some pussy ass bastard who felt like they were too powerful took them out in a car explosion when I was 5. I never really got a chance to love and know them but they were my heart. I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle, also my parents bestfriends, My aunt Carmen is my mother’s sister and definitely took me in and loved me like her own daughter. My uncle Terrence was my father’s best friend and protects me like no other. Their twin daughters Jayelin and Kayelin are my best friends and we ride this life out like the thuggettes that we are……..well I’m speaking too much. I think WE should tell you this story… … Kash “Ain’t nothin’ to a boss, we ballin’ when you see us..” -Duffle Bag Boy ​“Students, make sure you turn in those final papers to me by tomorrow evening. I wouldn't want any of you lacking before graduation next week”, said my Economics professor. I grabbed my things and walked out of class with pure joy written on my face. This was my last class of my senior year and I couldn't help but to be too proud of myself. I was 20 years old and graduating from Johnson C. Smith University with a degree in Business and a minor in Hospitality/Tourism. Yeah, your girl is a beauty but what’s beauty without brains ya know? I was relieved and happy that now me and my best friends could put our plan into action. See, me and the twins wanted to open up our on string of strip malls, including a House of Kash boutique, a Paradize spa chain by Jay, and a Tomboy sneaker/heel boutique by Kay. I was so lost in these thoughts that i did not notice the non moving object in front of me. It was too late by the time I looked up and I fell flat on my butt with my phone and books droping. “Oh man, little ma, are you good?” said the deepest baritone voice I’ve ever heard. Getting up and rubbing my butt, I looked deeply into the most gorgeous set of hazel eyes. I stepped back and took in this person at a glance. “Little ma, you staring a little hard.” he laughed. I shook off my embarrassment and glared at him. “Well I wouldn't be staring if you hadn't been in my way” I spat. He tilted his head and looked at me sideways. “Well if I recall, it was you who wasn't looking up ma and with all due respect you can leave your attitude on the ground cause I'm not beat for it.”. I shook my head and gathered my belonging and proceeded to walk away. I was about to graduate and I definitely did not have time for the foolishness. I could feel a pair of eyes on me so I swung my long ombre natural hair to the side and looked back. Sure enough, Hazel eyes was staring so I put a jump to that trunk I got back there and strutted off. ​I was cruising in my BMW X5 down South Caldwell street when I decided to hit up the twins for a late lunch. “Kaaaaaaay!” I yelled into the car speaker. “Kash, why do you have to yell mama? Usted esta loca, mama,” she laughed. I smiled and got to business. “Look, I finished. The deal is done. Let’s meet for lunch and tell your sister be on time please. We are finally ready.” I said. There was a short pause before Kay spoke. “Kash, I’m so proud of you baby. This is the day you’ve been waiting for and the moment me and Jay have been longing for. Let’s get this money. Live fast…” she said. “And die slow….” i spoke back. “We all we got” we both said in unison. I smiled at the phrase that Jay came up with years before. I got off the phone with her and cruised through downtown to our favorite restaurant, McCormick and Schmick’s. It was a high priced restaurant but it was perfect for this moment. No more struggling, no more bad days……it was on from there. Kay ​After hanging up the phone from Kash, I immediately got down on my knees and praised God because we were finally making moves. Let me introduce myself though, I’m Kaylen Brianna Martinez-Jones but most know me as Kay. I am a 5’4 Dominican and Black bombshell with a coca-cola body shape. I rock 22 inches of my REAL natural hair that is lightly colored blonde and it rests atop a firm but plump derriere. I am the brains of the trio and definitely the most observant. I peep things with these hazel-brown eyes from afar and near and I make sure we don’t ever get into serious trouble. And by serious trouble I mean……well I’ll let Kash tell you the rest. I graduated from the University of North Carolina with a degree in Computer Science and a degree in Business. I always thought I would be a computer analyst for a firm or for the FBI but my real passion is shoes. Growing up, I was always daddy’s little girl so I caught the tomboy persona from him. I have a LOVE for heels, just like any grown woman but I also had a love for sneakers just like any grown man. I always had the first hand on any retro Jordans or any hot new sneaks that were coming out. Speaking of Jordans, I need to hit up my connect about this OVO Jordan pack that Drake is releasing. I know that Kash has an unhealthy obsession with Drake so this would be a great graduation gift for her. I hit up Rell on my iPhone while I pulled out clothes to meet up with the girls. “Kay Bay, what’s the deal lady?”, yelled Rell. I chuckled because Rell was your typical hood nigga. “Man Rell why the fuck you yelling, son? Look I need the scoop on that OVO pack I’m looking for. Who, what, when, and where?” I inquired. “Look, I got the pack but you have to scoop it from the dude I always cop from. I am currently out of town on family business shawty. “ he said. I rolled my eyes because whenever Rell said that, that meant he did some hot boy shit and he had to get out of dodge. “Alright Rell but make this the last time you do this. I pay you too much money to be dealing with strangers. What’s his info?” I grabbed a pen and paper. “Aight, his name is Jus and he’s a real cool dude, shawty. I told him that you meeting him today at 2.” I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 1:30. “Damn Rell!! When was you gon’ tell me?” I yelled. I hung up before he answered and rushed to shower and get dressed. I threw on a pair of YSL ripped washed skinny jeans and a black racer back Beyonce “Surfboardt” belly tank. I threw on my matte black pair of Louboutin Red Bottoms and grabbed my black Marc Jacobs tote bag and headed to my garage. I hit the locks on my black and chrome 2015 Audi A5 coupe and headed down South Blvd to meet up with this guy. As I was driving, I contemplated on my life at hand. At the young age of 19, I was already successful in my endeavors. I graduated college early because I was a genius if you would say. But my genius mind had nothing to do with my hustle. I inherited the hustle strictly from my dad. My dad was the infamous Terrance Jones, the right hand to Kash, my godfather and a man who once ruled the Charlotte drug world with an iron fist. My dad was his right hand and best friend, more so like brothers. While Uncle Kash handled the business, my dad was the enforcer. His assassin mind and cold heart made him one of the top killers on the east coast. Fortunately I didn’t inherit that dark side from him, but I couldn’t say the same about my twin Jay. Although we were daddy’s girls, we were spitting images of our beautiful mother. Carmen Martinez-Jones was a beautiful dominican bombshell but played NO games. I was blessed to have two parents that were ride or die totally. At times, I prayed for Lil Kash because I know she missed her parents deeply. But I knew we were about to make Uncle Kash and Aunt Dani proud. The sounds of beeping horns broke me out my thoughts. I channeled my focus on the highway as I pushed 80 going towards Southpark mall on the Southside. I was leery meeting this guy Rell hooked up because I didn’t trust anybody that wasn’t La Familia. Hell, I didn't even trust Rell but as long as he kept being on point with the sneakers we wouldn’t have any issues. I pulled up to the mall and valet parked my whip. When I stepped out, I had the attention of all the men in the vicinity. I whipped my hair to the back and strutted towards Maggiano’s,the upperclass Italian restaurant. When I reached the hostess, she smiled at me. “Hello, Miss Kay. How are you?” said GiGi. I smiled and hugged her. “I’m well, Gi. Can you set me up at my usual spot? I’m meeting somebody and I want to see them before they arrive.” I said. She nodded and led me to my special table. I ordered a glass of Cupcake Moscato and proceeded to online shop on my iPad. A girl couldn’t get enough of shoes and clothes as it seems. I looked up and saw a tall gentleman walk up to Gigi. I couldn't get a good look at his face until they started to walk up this way but when I did, I almost lost my nerve and my panties. This man stood at 6’4 and had the skin of perfectly roasted almond. His waves were making me sea sick and his swag was on one thousand. When he got closer, I noticed the Balmain jeans that slightly hung off his hips and the red Balenciaga sneakers on his feet. He filled out the Givenchy T-Shirt nicely with his muscles and tattoos that went on for days. I was so caught up that I didn’t notice that him and GiGi was standing right before me. “Miss Kay?” said GiGi. I sputtered and coughed. “Yes please sit down” I said. He smirked and sat down and his Curve Men cologne wafted under my nose. “Sup ma? I’m Jus.” he reached out his hand. I looked and tilted my head. “Do you have my shoes?” I asked. He shook his head and took back his hand. I was in no mood to have conversation. Jus I didn't know what I did to God but I thanked him for sitting this beauty in front of me. Shorty was looking right in those YSL jeans and I couldn’t help but wonder what she was working with back there. But I knew one thing, the woman I was looking at was going to be my wife and the mother of my children. Her features had me wondering what she was mixed with but the movement of her lips had me mesmerized. “Look ma, Rell said you needed the OVO pack but honestly, I need your number.” . She turned her head to the side and smiled a smile that shook my whole world upside down. “Listen Jus—“ . “Actually, its Justice ma,”, I licked my lips and smiled at her. “Well JUSTICE, I appreciate the flattery but obviously it gets you nowhere. Honestly, I just want to talk about the shoes.” she spoke to me. “Now Rell told me you had the Drake OVO pack and I am trying to acquire that for my best friend since she’s graduating”. I sipped my drink. “Well congratulations to her, and yes I have the OVO pack. But before I give you that, I need two favors from you.” She frowned. “And what favors are those?”. she said. “Please give me your number and you and your friends come to my brother’s birthday party tomorrow night at Cameo”, I said. She thought for a few seconds and smiled. She then proceeded to gather her things and stood. “You know when you walked over here, I thought you had substance. Guess I was wrong.” She then sashayed her way out of the restaurant. I was sitting in complete shock for a few minutes when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the waitress who showed me in. She gave me a smile and dropped a note in front of me. Jus, Those shoes and my best friend mean more to me than your lack of substance. I will see you tomorrow night. Please put me down for 4 people. and by the way, the name Justice suits you. xoxoxo Kayelin (not Ma) 704-555-8438 I smiled and laughed. Lilttle ma definitely was going to be a challenge but for some reason, that was a challenge I willing to make. I left the restaurant and hopped in my range truck. As I left out of the mall area, my iPhone rung. “Talk to me” I said into the speaker. “Boy every time I call you, wounding like you on some boss shit. “ I laughed outloud. Only person who call me and get away with saying dumb shit like that was my brother Kaide. “Nigga what the fuck do you want?” I said between laughs. “Maaaaaaaan I’m calling you to see if you were ready for little brother’s party tomorrow.” said Kaide. I sat back and my thoughts drifted to our other brother, Jordan. I am the oldest of us three boys. My name is Justice Koran Santiago and I am the oldest brother to Kaide Martine’ Santiago and Jordan Edward Santiago. My mother raised me to always look out for my brothers and that’s what I am trying to do. But sadly, my mother never got her wish because 6 yeas prior I fell into the trap of my slick talking father, Johan Santiago. My father was the son of a Colombian drug lord, my grandfather Jose Lete’-Santiago. But my father didn’t take the drug lord route, instead he became one of the top assassins in the world. And his oldest son didn’t fall too far from the tree. I am the leader of my own assassin group and my brother Kaide was right there beside me. I took contracts out from the biggest names in the world. I have killed people for presidents, senators, entertainment stars and even gold digging ass housewives. My only rule is that I do not hurt, touch or kill children. I could diminish the innocence of a child. Another reason why I halfway listened to my mother and didn;t let my brother Jordan get involved with any of the stuff Kaide and I did. I steered my brother right and sent him off to college. Jordan just finished up his undergrad years at Howard University with a Bachelor’s in Science and a Bachelor’s in Chemistry. I was such a proud big brother and I knew my brother was destined for greatness. Now don’t get me wrong, I was proud of Kaide. Not many people knew but Kaide had his degree in business and was trying to open up some event planning businesses. He was actually in the talks with 3 sisters from Charlotte who had business called the Conglomerate. But this business we were in was tricky. And I know it could not last forever. “Ay Jus, I meant to tell you, I met the girl of my dreams today, fam. I know I did.” I laughed because Kaide was truly a ladies man. SO him saying that perked my attention. “Oh really bro? What did she look like?” aide started rambling “Son I swear she was a reincarnate of a love child of Aaliyah and Selena. Shorty bumped into me and I promise you not, she melted in my arms dawg” he yelled. I laughed because I never heard him speak like this. “Well seems like me and you both my brother. Well I invited my future to the party tomorrow with some of her friends.” Kaide chuckled. “That’s funny considering the fact that Jade will be in attendance tomorrow”. I shuddered and frowned at the thought of my ex. “Listen we will handle that when it comes up but more importantly, we have a contract to be fulfilled by Saturday. Lets get it done.” I could hear Kaide sigh through the phone. “Sayless. I’ll catch up with you later.” I ended the call and mentally prepared myself for this week’s activities. Jay I rolled over and looked at the sun gleaming through my window. I tried to sit up in bed but the pain that shot through my body was enough to make me lie right back down. The night I had last night was surely enough to make a grown man tremble but I had no emotions. Well unless it came to my off and on and off again boyfriend Taz. I looked over to see if he was still there but of course he wasn’t. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower to numb some of the pain away. I also checked my texts to make sure my sisters Kaye and Kash got in safe last night. Last night was a close call and we could never be that close again. I might as well let the beans slip and let you know that we were hit-men or hit-women if you will. We will under the control of my father Terrance and I made damn good money. But I made so much money that I couldn’t figure out why I had such a shitty love life. Speaking of my love life, I was hearing a voice coming from inside my bathroom that I knew belonged to Taz. I tip toed to the door and eavesdropped. “Baby look, I’m sorry but you know what it is. I promise I’ll come over in a hour and pound that pussy out for me. Let me hear her purr for me.” I barged in that bathroom and threw his phone. “Purr motherfucker PURR. Do me and YOU a favor and get the fuck out of my shit now.”, Taz ran after me as I stormed back into my bedroom. “Baby please don’t do this. You know I was just playing with girl, I was gon’ get right back.” he whined, mimicking a Lloyd song. “Nigga if you don’t shut the fuck up copying other niggas shit. I am sick and tired of your bullshit. You disrespect me all day long and act like that shit’s okay. Newsflash BITCH, it’s not okay. I am completely disgusted with your dumb, STD catchin’ ass. Grab your dick, and sashay your weak ass out my crib”., I angrily spat at him. I glared into his eyes and a quick flash, his eyes turned to black. I turned to grab my cellphone and felt a hard WAP to the back of my head. “Bitch, you think you gon’ talk any kinda way to me and think ima let that shit ride. Get your ass up and lay on that bed.” he yelled. For some odd reason, I obliged to his words and laid on the bed. I was scared as fuck to know what he would do if I didn’t and since my guns were not accessible, I did my best to try to make it through this ordeal. As Taz started pounding his fists into my body and my hands went flying back to protect myself, my thoughts drifted to my sister and Kash. If only they know how I was acting right now, they would wonder how the hell was I one of my dad’s best assassins. But the truth is, my inner self was not that worthy of such a brave title. I had insecurities for days, starting with the fact that I kill people for a living. For a while, the people I killed kept popping in my dreams and then I became numb to the bloodshed. The bloodshed helps me numb myself to the insecurities and problems I have, especially with men. As I kept drifting into my thoughts, I didn’t realize Taz had picked me up in the car and dropped me in an alley. He kicked and beat me some more before he stole my keys and my car and sped off. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, praying that God loved me before I went to hell when I heard a voice calling to me. I tried to turn my head but the pain in my head prevented from doing so. I felt myself being lifted into a car and hearing two different voices. “Jordan, man what the hell? How are we going to explain this to Jus?” said one voice. “I don’t know Kai, but we can’t leave her there like this man. She needs help. Let’s take her to Carolinas Med, quickly.” said the other. I could hear the other guy suck his teeth. “Man you’re right. But I don’t want to hear Jus’ mouth man. We were supposed to meet him 30 minutes ago.” While they were talking, I just kept replying the memories in my head. I kept thinking of my sister, Kash, my parents, and my family. I knew that if something happened to me, blood will shed. My father and brothers will tear the streets with the rest of the crew, bodying anybody in sight if something happened. The funny thing is, I also kept thinking of the voice I was hearing in the shadows. It was like something kept drawing me to it. The sweet, melodic baritone voice kept telling me to fight and that everything was going to be okay. I just simply laid back and let the darkness consume me. Stay tuned for Part II

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Life on Crow Avenue: Part 20

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___

“You’ve cooked for a whole battalion, ro-bro,” Remus remarked, watching his brother put the lasagne into the still cold oven.

Roman turned around and shot him an annoyed look before he checked if everything was in place. The aubergine-tomato antipasti were in place, they had garlic bread in case someone wanted to eat something between the starter and main course. He had thought about making a primo piatto and a secondo piatto, but decided that they probably would have enough with the lasagne and like that everyone would still like to eat dessert; a fig and raspberry tart.

He hoped they would like it.

“They’re gonna love it. Now, go change. They’re gonna be here in like half an hour,” Remus told Roman as he nudged him in the side.

With a huff Roman disappeared and Remus looked around in the living room. Mrs. Snuffles was sitting on the cat tree Virgil had given them and looked at him with her beautiful blue eyes. Smiling he walked up to her and nuzzled his face against her fluffy face, her eagerly headbutting into the movement. Softly he lifted her from the tree, adjusted her in his arms and held her like one would hold a baby, gently swaying her in his arms.

Cats always had always been one of Remus’s favourite animals. Just how they carried themselves, how much elegance and dorkiness fit in one single, fluffy entity amazed him each time anew. And somehow it fit perfectly into their new life. A life, where their living room is spacey and bright. Where their couch didn’t smell funny and he actually liked the combination of the furniture they had.

“Earth to Remus?”

Remus flinched and turned around. Roman stood in the end of the hallway, grinning at his brother’s weird cat dance.

Remus blinked. Roman was wearing a thin wine-red cardigan, beneath a white t-shirt and the black slim fit jeans Remus had bought him. Together with the slightly condescending and yet somehow charming smug smirk on Roman’s face, he looked good. Really good.

“What have you done with my brother?” Remus joked and walked towards Roman. “He’s never been seen in nice clothes on a Sunday forever!”

Roman rolled his eyes and picked the hem of his cardigan’s sleeve. He knew it was a compliment. He appreciated it. But somehow it just felt weird to make himself look fancy. To try and look at himself in the mirror and like or at least accept what stared back at him.

“Don’t make such a sour face! You look splendid! Jan’s never going to be able to eat any of the food because he’ll keep gawking at your pretty face!” Remus insisted, seeing far too well that Roman was doubting himself.

Nervously Roman pressed his lips together and told Remus with a sigh: “That would be a waste of food.”

“Come on! I know what kind of hairdo that is! Look-At-Me-And-Hold-Your-Breath! This is dress to impress, and if you don’t admit you’re a dirty liar!”

With a mischievous glint in his eyes Roman retorted: “I didn’t say that’s not my intention. It’s just gonna be a shame for the food that’s going to be wasted, won’t it?”

With mock offence Remus stared at him with his mouth wide open before the twins broke into a laughing fit. Mrs. Snuffles didn’t appreciate the shaking very much and Remus had to let her down still giggling furiously, when the doorbell rang.

Remus gave Roman a nod and then walked up to the door, pressed the speaker and heard Logan’s voice: “Salutations. It is Logan Fojtík. Excuse the disturbance.”

“We invited you, bicho. You’re not disturbing,” Remus chuckled and pressed the button to let Logan in.

A few short moments after Logan had walked up the stairs and Remus greeted him with a wide grin and a hug. The bookstore owner reciprocated the hug after a short second of hesitancy and then gave Roman a cordial nod as a greeting. Roman just smirked at the awkward look on Logan’s face and told him to follow him into the living room. Roman also made the mental note that Logan was wearing the turtleneck sweater and the slightly nicer jeans he usually wore on Friday evenings, which seemed to be an outfit he reserved for special occasions.

With ease Roman then enthralled Logan in some casual conversation about the food he had prepared. Logan looked mildly interested, even though he looked over to Remus playing with Mrs. Snuffles several times. That too, Roman would definitely remember for future events.

But soon there came the next ring and Remus let Janus and Virgil in just has he had Logan. Virgil had brought some cat treats and a few more toys for Mrs. Snuffles and was soon sitting with Remus on the floor playing with the cat instead of socializing with the with the other people in the room.

“Seeing this makes me wish, I was a pet,” Roman comments amused as both Janus and Logan gave him a look. “Unlimited attention, affection and reassurance thrown at you with no questions asked and you won’t even be punished if you scratch an asshole’s face.”

“While that outlook does have its appeal,” Logan commented his eyes locked on Mrs. Snuffles trying to catch a string with feathers attached to its end, “I would not enjoy doing my business in a litter box or outside under a tree.”

Janus chuckled and sat down at the already set table. For a moment his eyes drifted over the plates, the cutlery, cutlery mats and napkins, which were set up carefully and beautifully, before he looked over to Logan and teased lazily: “What a humorous remark coming from you, Mrs. Fojtík. I didn’t think you’d have an ounce of fun in your body.”

Logan did not grace that remark with an answer but shot him a glare. Janus did not care for it and instead turned to Roman and told him: “The table looks marvellous, Roman. I don’t think I’ve ever been invited for dinner at someone’s place who had such a sweetly decorated table.”

Janus watched Roman’s eyes glow with pride and listened happily as Roman started to tell how he liked decorating and how it was a way to treat themselves with something nice.

“After all, sitting at a nice set up table makes one feel a bit like royalty, doesn’t it?” Roman rambled happily.

Janus answered with a smile and a nod and would have been content to listen even longer, when the doorbell rang again and Roman stood up to get the door.

Not too surprisingly, Patton had arrived and Roman let the tattoo artist into their flat. He had a cheery look on his face and promptly thanked Roman for the invitation.

“Oh, don’t mention it, padre! After the way you all helped us last Friday, I wanted to give something back. It’s the least I can do,” Roman said and shot a look over to Remus who looked up from Mrs. Snuffles in front of him and gave a little nod.

“Yeah, something happy for a change,” Remus said and looked down Mrs. Snuffles.

Remus’s eyes shone peacefully. Lips tugged in a lopsided smile. Patton felt his heart pound in his chest. Remus looked beautiful and in this very moment every fibre in his body was painfully aware of that. He actually shivered when Remus raised his look from Mrs. Snuffles to him and the little smile grew a little wider as he met Patton’s eyes. It was the best thing he had felt in a long time and he was sure that his smile reflected the sentiment well, as Remus chuckled and got up from the floor.

“Now, princesa, do you want to get us all into a food coma?” Remus asked and put his hands on his hips with an eyeroll.

Energetically, Roman jumped to action and ushered their guests to get to the table.

“Oh, I hope you’re hungry!” Roman announced in a singsong tone and the five others settled down around the table.

Curiously Janus looked into the kitchen from his chair, as Patton complimented Remus’s clothes; a green t-shirt with pink spots, a light blue jeans vest and orange skinny fit pants. Remus gave to comment back, adding that he liked the look of the pastel pink tank top, with black ripped-jeans and the bun Patton had put his hair in.

“Your hair is nice too!” Patton gave back and looked at the black messy hair on top of Remus’s head.

Remus tousled through his bangs and shrugged.

“Thanks. I don’t really know what to do with it. It’s a bit ‘meh’ so I tend to just let it do its thing.”

“Are you aware how to best take care of the hair type you have?” Logan suddenly chimed into the conversation.

And so, Roman served his aubergine-tomato antipasti, as the conversation about hair styling and grooming got started. Logan did most of the talking, Patton sometimes adding something and Remus curiously asking questions. The conversation only got interrupted when Logan finally started eating, after Roman chiding him for letting the food get cold. In that sudden pause, Janus took the chance to compliment Roman’s cooking, as the others did just a moment after.

They ate, talked and the mood was light and pleasant. Remus had, as promised earlier, gotten out his sketchbooks and went through it with Patton while Roman got the main dish ready. Virgil was once again playing with Mrs. Snuffles and Logan occupied himself by following Roman into the kitchen, asking about how he had prepared the antipasti from before and offering his help, which was politely declined. And Janus had sneaked away from the table and inconspicuously walked through the flat, looking in all rooms without entering any of them so his snooping around would not be detected.

Just as Janus peeked into Roman’s room, strikingly tidy with red and gold accented décor knickknacks, a hand was put on his shoulder and he flinched  as he was caught red-handed.

“You could have asked for a tour, Jay.”

Janus turned to see Roman smirking at him. Speechless he opened his mouth only to close it again and press his lips together. Roman grinned until Remus called from the living room: “Are ya’ making out? Should we not wait with the food for you?”

With an eyeroll Roman turned around but kept his eyes locked on Janus. A smile tugged at the edges of Roman’s lips and he said quietly: “I’ll be happy to show you around after you’ve told me how much you like the lasagne I’ve made.”

Finally, Janus found his composure again, grinned back and replied: “Then I’ll be kind enough to indulge you, Señor Segura Reyes.”

Roman chuckled and they went back into the living room. Smoothly Roman walked around the table to Janus’s seat, pulled it back for him and sat down telling his guest to help themselves with the lasagne.

Already anticipating Virgil’s questioning look Roman told him: “It’s vegetarian. I could have made a different dish for you but I didn’t feel like it and just made the meatless variant for all of us.”

“Cool. Thanks,” Virgil mumbled a little shyly before he took some of the lasagne.

“What did you take instead of the meat?” Logan asked eyeing the food in front of him judgingly.

“Spinach and Cheese. And if you find that inedible, I can get you something else,” Roman answered and rose his eyebrows playfully daring.

Logan pressed his lips together and looked back down to the food. It smelled good and it didn’t look like the vegetables his mother used to make him eat when he was younger. He could at least try. And so, he tried.

“Das ist alles andere als ungeniessbar,” Logan almost inaudibly said under his breath and took another bite.

Roman, who was sitting next to him, shot him an incredulous look which turned into an excited one and he enthusiastically said: “Danke sehr! Ich wusste nicht, dass du Deutsch sprichts?”

Baffled Logan looked up to Roman and the rest of the table did the same, not knowing what Roman had just said and why he suddenly spoke in a different language.

“Ich, uh, übe noch. Sprache war schon immer ein Leidenschaft von mir,” Logan said slowly, not quite certain if he had gotten the gender of ‘passion’ right.

“No way!” Roman exclaimed joyously, “Me too! Languages are so cool! Which ones besides German do you know?”

Logan blinked. Blinked again. Roman’s enthusiasm for languages matched his own passion, which was rare, and he seemed very eager to talk about it. Not dismissing him. He was not dismissing him, Logan realized, took a little breath and started telling Roman how he had begun learning Czech and Polish when he was in his early teens and over the years had added Spanish and German to the mix.

“That’s so cool! You have to teach me some Polish and Czech! I’d love to get into some new languages. It always interesting to see how they are different or the same to some languages I already know. And like, both are Slavic languages, right? I’m curious if they work similarly to Russian!”

“You speak Russian?” Logan asked intrigued.

“Not super well, but I’d get by. The wife of our florist mentor is Russian and I got to learn if from her. And he’s Brazilian, which is why I know some Portuguese. German, Italian and French I learned in school and from old Disney VHS movies Mamá got on a flea market. It’s so interesting to see how all of them sound and work and-”

“Yes, my thoughts exactly!” Logan agreed and the two kept on marvelling over the beauty of languages until the main dish was eaten.

The others kept quiet and just watched both men being unabashedly passionate about languages and how they work. Watched Roman stumble over his words because he got excited about tenses in Spanish and Logan raising his voice in euphoria about cases in Slavic languages. It was quite a scene they got to look at and none of them could complain, even though Remus would later claim that the nerding out over languages was the bane of his existence.

When all had finished their lasagne, Roman picked up the plates and put them into the dishwasher. The rest settled down on the couch, beanbag and the armchairs before dessert would get served. Remus and Virgil were yet again playing with Mrs. Snuffles and Janus, Patton and Logan just watched them have fun, since they were all a bit tired after the big meal. Roman soon joined them and sat down on the couch next to Janus, bickering a little with his brother about how he was neglecting their guests.

“What no! Look their all happy doing nothing after overeating on your stupidly delicious food!” Remus retorted.

Roman puffed his cheeks and nagged: “Still! You could at least try and indulge them in a convers-”

“Sorry, Rem, could you maybe check something on Mrs. Snuffles for me?”

Both twins shut up immediately and Virgil looked up from the cat to see Remus’s extremely concerned look.

“She’s fine! It’s fine! Just-” Virgil quickly added hoping he could stop Remus from freaking out - “just check something for me. Just touch her belly for me and tell me if what you feel.”

Remus blinked, gave a short nod and inched closer to the white cat lady. Softly he petted her until she laid down and carefully touched the side of her belly.

“It’s pretty normal, I think? Like I feel her breathing and some tiny movements, I guess? Isn’t that just digestion, though?” Remus asked warily.

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, smiled and told Remus: “It could, but I think you might need to wait with neutering her. It’s possible that she’s pregnant but I’d have the vet check her to make sure.”

Remus squealed in an octave dogs and bats could hear and successfully made all guests jump in their seats. This was the best thing to ever happen to Remus and an ecstatic voice in the back of his head told him to kiss either Patton or Logan or even both just to get all the pent-up energy out. Instead, he tackle hugged Virgil, who was not prepared for Remus’s hug and fell backwards so both ended up laying on the floor.

And while that happened and drew all the attention on Remus and Virgil, Roman had a silent anxiety attack. Trembling he stood up, quietly mumbling No estoy preparado para ser padre. and taking out his phone to open the app where he had to arrange little squares according to hue. He forced himself to concentrate on the colours, on moving his fingers accordingly and not focus on the fact that their cat would-

Colours. Sorting. Making a clean perfect hue.

I am a wonderful, amazing, gorgeous, magnificent hue-master!

Alright. Okay.

Roman turned back to look at his brother, who was still almost smothering Virgil and decidedly walked up to them. Firmly he grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him back a little.

“Stop pestering him! Get up and go whip cream to get your energy out. I need more calories after this shock,” Roman chided Remus.

Snickering Remus got up, shoving Roman a little in the shoulder and turning towards the kitchen.

“Oh, you’ll love them too! Don’t worry,” Remus told him as he disappeared.

Roman fumed for a few seconds, massaged the bridge of his nose before he offered Virgil his hand to get up.

“How many kittens does a cat have in a litter, generally?” Roman asked in the most defeated tone they had ever heard him use.

Virgil cleared his throat and answered: “Around four. And don’t pick her up until you know for sure if she’s pregnant or not. You could accidentally hurt the babies.”

Roman nodded and declared that they would have desert now, since he now needed some stress food. Before long the six men sat at the table again, all with a big slice of a fig and raspberry tart. Roman had put a big spoon of whipped cream on his slice and told the others to help themselves with the cream as much as they wanted. Patton took the offer and toasted Roman with a sympathetic smile as Remus bounced on his chair and asked Virgil a million questions about kitten’s and how to care for them.

It was more than clear that Remus was very hyped for the potential of a kitten litter and was already unwilling to give away a single one of them. No matter what Roman would say, Remus wouldn’t change his mind and Roman had to accept it.

“Hey, if they ever get too rowdy and you need a break, I can maybe catsit? Is that a thing?” Patton offered.

That got a snicker out of Roman and he thanked Patton for the gracious offer but Remus would have to catsit, since he was the one who wanted to keep them. Remus said he would do that happily and the evening continued calmly. After finishing desert Roman showed Janus the flat and around ten the four guests eventually bid goodbye and left the twins to themselves.

The tension on Roman’s shoulders had eased away a bit. But it was still there. He still felt it linger and he was glad when Remus asked if he should clean the kitchen, so Roman could get ready for bed.

But next to Remus nobody seemed to have noticed. Which was good and what Roman had wanted. He told himself.

He didn’t want others to know. They didn’t need to know. After all, he had it under control.

At least, that was what he told himself.

___

@varthandi

@sammy-is-obsessed / @exhaustedfander

@alexisrealgay

@softie-sushi

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

@winter-jay-official

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

Tagged for this fic:

@frawkeye

@arodynamic-enby

@espepspes

@bullet-tothefeels

@fukindork

@shadeofadye

@magic-but-its-green

@a-non-binary-pan

@simone-the-weird-person

#sanders sides #brotherly creativitwins #roceit #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #mrs. snuffles the cat #food mention #panic attack #it's not very detailed but it is there #Life on Crow Avenue #eir writes #please reblog

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Life on Crow Avenue: Part 22

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Lunch was going well this Friday and Virgil was talking with Logan about good books on pet care for families and kids who wanted to help with the training of their pets. Because of that he almost missed Roman asking Remus about changing the working hours.

“Why would you want to change the opening and closing times?” Virgil asked a little anxiously even though he did not know why he felt anxious right now.

Roman was reacting quicker than Remus was and turned to Virgil with a gentle smile on his lips.

“Oh, we’re thinking about hiring someone working part-time for the store. Ideally, they could also help us with the taxes and stuff but just a helping hand would be a nice start. And if we had help, we could maybe do an evening sale once a week or and open on Saturdays,” Roman explained and suddenly all were staring at him.

Logan, Virgil and Janus seemed a little taken aback while Patton looked slightly overwhelmed though happy. Curiously he let his eyes rest on Remus and saw him subtly nod towards his direction. Patton beamed. The twins had had a talk yesterday night and he felt so happy that things finally were turning around for them. They truly deserved it.

“So, you could maybe have some more free time, I assume?” Patton offered after another beat of silence and Roman directly caught onto his line of reasoning.

“Yeah,” Roman agreed with a wide smile, “that was the plan! We never had that luxury before but I think that we could try to treat ourselves now, right Emi?”

Remus leaned back in his chair and looked uncharacteristically blank from Roman to Patton before he gave a slow nod and added: “Yeah. That’s the idea. The flowers sales are working well and we have a steady number of returning customers. It’s not a bad investment to employ someone now, when were still having everything under control. It’s the best time to make them familiar with the shop.”

“I wasn’t aware that your store was going this well,” Logan said and eyed the brothers with furrowed brows.

At that Remus’s odd behaviour stopped and he snickered, while Roman gasped offendedly. With astounding speaking speed Roman began to rattle down about the flower delivery service, the decoration for different holidays and celebrations, they provided as well as all the advertisements he had made and was still making on social media and the several posters and flyers he had hung up on community boards and distributed around a few retirement homes as well in parks around the aera.

“When did you have time to do all that?” Janus asked as Roman ended and began to eat the pasta he had prepared for them today.

Chewing and gesticulating with his fork Roman answered: “Before the move we had a few days, because we packed everything up rather quickly and then I got to design a few things on our laptop. And when we came here, I did the footwork, when Rem had a bit of help from the movers to get the store in order. It’s an important part of business and mouth to mouth advertisement is really good with clientele but especially older clientele, like ours. And we can’t stop now just because it’s going well. We’ve gotta go with the time and make sure we’re still what our customers want and need.”

“So, you’re basically your own advertisement department?” Janus asked frowning.

“Yeah. It’s important for business. I want to eat and for us to have a home. Can’t be slacking off, can I? Also, I like doing it. Our teacher always let me design new posters for the store and even paid for a and editing program that I still use because I was really good at it. It’s a fun change from – Oh, do you think I could hang up a job application ad at the board from the theatre group? Or would Rodriguez not like that?”

Janus almost had a whiplash from the sudden change of topic but then confirmed that Roman very likely wouldn’t have any objections against that. Roman seemed to be more than happy about it and the group returned to their lunch and previous conversations.

___

A week later Janus and Roman went to the meeting of their theatre group. Roman had offered to drive him, so Virgil didn’t have to or that Janus didn’t have to drive himself, as he apparently wasn’t a good driver and didn’t like to drive. To Janus it was a rather welcome development and he liked sitting on the co-driver’s seat and watching Roman behind the wheel.

When they arrived, nothing was out of the ordinary; they greeted their friends, asked how everyone was, just the causal small talk until all where here and they could start with the current meeting.

The time flew by and soon their meeting had reached the end. They were all sticking around for a bit and Roman took his chance to talk with Rodriguez about the ad he wanted to hang up and went to talk with him in the backroom where they stored some props. Janus used that opportunity to gather the rest and finally speak with Samantha.

“Okay, I need to be quick but I have a small request, Sammy dearest,” Janus began and the whole group was already curiously listening.

“What is it Jay?” Samantha asked rather suspiciously of the sweet tone.

Unbothered by her visible distrust Janus answered: “You will be out of town at the 4th, as you usually are, I assume?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to remind you all of-”

“Do me a favour and do not do that. I would like to surprise Roman with something. And as I know him, he won’t let himself have some additional downtime which means I will have to trick him into it. And for that I could use the meeting as an excuse, if you would not inform him that it’s not taking place.”

Samantha blinked several times before she frowned at him and raised an eyebrow in a disapproving manner.

“I won’t help you seduce this him, Jay. I’m not an accomplice to your playboy stick,” she told him.

Janus let out a groan and he shot a vicious look the tree women that snickered at his predicament.

“For once I’m not trying to do that, Sam! He – He needs something for himself and I doubt that a one-night stand is what that is or that he would even be interested in that. I really just want him to have something nice. He’s been through a lot lately and I don’t think he’s really taking care of himself. Just don’t say anything to him. I’ll do the rest. It’s all I ask of you.”

Samantha scrunched her nose. She wouldn’t say she was Janus’s friend but she liked the man well enough. He was a cynical and sarcastic character and he was a decent improviser and actor. And she did respect him, despite his casual anecdotes of sleeping with random men once in a while. She looked over his shoulder and saw Roman and Rodriguez coming back.

Roman was not any random man to her. He was charming and passionate about what they were doing here. He was definitely talented but more importantly he was a hard worker. He tried harder than the others and put a lot more effort and time in the little practices they did. And other than that, she simply liked him. So, she took a leap of faith and nodded to Janus and shot the rest of them a look to keep their mouths shut about this.

Gratefully, Janus gave her a nod of acknowledgement before he turned towards Roman who walked towards him with a big smile.

“I assume, I will have to wait as you are hanging up your flyer?” Janus asked playfully and Roman shoved him softly.

“A flyer? What for?” Renee asked.

Roman turned towards the middle-aged woman. She was Celia’s friend and drove her here. Curiously she watched as Roman showed her the piece of paper he was going to hang up close to the door.

“Job application? You look for someone working in your store?”

Roman nodded and explained: “Yes! It’s going well and we could use a helping hand.”

Renee’s eyes wandered over the paper and she looked back up at him.

“This is a part-time job for a flower shop, do I see that right?”

“Yes. If you know someone who would be interested, please let them know! The payment and workload will be discussed in the interview with me and my brother, if you were wondering,” Roman explained as his tone got a little more serious.

Renee nodded and studied the paper a little longer. The she glanced back up at him and scratched the side of her nose.

“I used to work in a flower boutique and my youngest is up to college now. I’ve got the time for a job to be honest but I’d like to know why you decided to hire now? You haven’t been open very long, not even a year, as I understand it. Why didn’t you hire someone from the beginning or do it later?”

Janus watched Roman’s expression grow serious. The others hadn’t seen him like that before. Even when he plays a serious character it has no resemblance with the person that was standing here in front of them now. This, Janus assumed, was businessman Roman. The Roman that was concerned with his and his brother’s survival and would do what it takes to get them through.

And suddenly it slipped. He grew softer again and looked sheepishly to the side before telling her patiently: “We are writing black numbers and have already established a number of returning customers. But it is getting a bit much since it requires both of us to work with little to no breaks. So, it is a decision for my and especially my brother’s mental health. If you are interested in the position, further information will be disclosed at the given time.”

Renee looked at him rather surprised. Roman simply cracked a grin and huffed, walking past her towards the entrance where he could hang up the ad.

“But do not apply if you’re not a hard worker! We won’t take you just because I know you and you have some free time to fill!” he called over his shoulder and Cecilia and a few others started to laugh while Renee didn’t look too amused about that comment.

Janus just looked after him and let his words from before go through his head. There had been something hanging around the twins and Janus hadn’t been able to point his finger on it. Now he had something to go off and when Roman and he told the others goodbye and drove back home, Janus took the chance to make sure he was assuming the right thing.

“I suppose that there would be a reason as why you wouldn’t tell me and you certainly don’t have to now, but did something happen with Remus and you that you are doing this for your mental health?” Janus asked as they stopped at a red light.

Finger tapping. Roman’s fingers were tapping on the wheel and his eyes directed to the street while he occasionally glanced to the rear mirrors. He pressed down the gas pedal as the red light went green and Janus assumed that this was the end of the conversation. But as the had left the crossroad, Roman cleared his throat and Janus turned to look at him.

“Rem’s going to a therapist every Thursday. He scheduled it himself, made all the calls. I only learnt about it when he asked me if he could leave earlier to go to the meeting. He isn’t super comfortable to tell everyone that he is going, which is why we hadn’t said anything yet. So, please don’t tell Virgil or Logan.”

Janus faltered. He hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t expected to see Remus going through with it. Not that he didn’t want he to get better but the possibility of Remus actually trying to do some work on his mental health had seemed so impossible in his mind.

“Is the silence a sign of disbelief?” Roman asked with a grin.

With a fake cough Janus tried to regain his composure.

“I wouldn’t say disbelief...”

“It’s fine. Quite frankly-” Roman paused as they stopped at another red-light and looked to Janus with such a unbelieving and yet relieved expression – “I’d had lost hope a good while ago. For him truly getting better. Parts of my head already trying to accommodate myself to a life where he no longer would be. Not that I think I could live a life without him but – Well. Now he’s trying and I think it’s worth to try and believe in him.”

Janus was left speechless. Roman was a lot of things; brave, enthusiastic, idealistic, hot-headed and a hard worker. He was not a quitter. He was not a guy like Janus who gave up when he realized something would get too complicated or too hard.

But maybe that thought wasn’t quite fair to Roman. Because Roman was human. He had lived a rather eventful and traumatizing life; he had fought his way up to this very moment but how often had he fallen back? How often did he fail at the things he deemed too important to fail at? Even the hardest optimist had their limits. And Roman had almost lost his brother four times now. The only thing that he had been able to rely on for so long. And Roman had just told him something that Remus had explicitly told Roman not to tell other people.

“Why did you tell me?” Janus asked as they reached their destination and Roman had parked his car.

Roman turned and looked at him while unbuckling his seatbelt. He met Janus’s gaze and paused in his movements for a minute.

“I am scared too. Not only him. This feels like a last chance and it’s nagging on my brain. I needed to tell someone who isn’t him or Pat. And so, I told you. Because I trust you.”

Janus just stared into Roman’s dark brown eyes. He wasn’t sure if he was still breathing or if he had stopped but in this moment he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. All his mind was telling him in this moment was that he was looking at Roman, who trusted him and that he was entirely uncertain as of why he did trust him.

“I don’t understand,” Janus said with a dry mouth. “I - I acted inconsiderately after Remus’s attempt. I was not helpful to you in that moment when you needed me most and-”

“That was this evening. That one evening. And yeah, it was a big thing but it was big for us all. Stressful for us all. And you have your story and baggage too. I cannot expect of you to act perfectly in that situation. And I don’t. Not when you excelled in every moment after. You were kind and understanding and I appreciate it a lot. You let me hold your hand. You came for me and it’s been a while since anyone came just for me.”

Nothing terrible should happen to Roman ever again. No one should ever hurt him again. He should never be in danger again. And Janus would do whatever was in his power to secure that he decided in that very moment, as he looked into Roman’s eyes and just gave a nod before he got out of the car.

They parted ways. Janus got ready for the set in James’ bar and after he had played for the night, he sat down to the gang’s usual table. Listened to Logan talk with Roman over classic literature, greeted Virgil when he joined them later on and made sure to keep an eye on Roman for the whole evening.

___

Virgil and Janus had decided to have a movie night this Saturday evening and Janus was now in the kitchen getting the second batch of chips during one of the cheaper vampire movies he had ever seen in his life. And due to his nephews love of such movies, he had seen a fair share of them.

Whistling a tune Janus checked his phone and to his dismay found another message of Juno. She had been on his case for the last few days and normally he had little problem to blend her badgering out, but not when it was about this. He sighed, pushed the message away and got back to Virgil in the living room. Unceremoniously, he flicked the light switch on and got Virgil’s attention.

With a frown Virgil looked over and as Janus waved with his phone, while putting the chips bowl down on their coffee table, he had a hunch what was going on.

“Did Mom write you about something?” Virgil asked and pulled his legs onto the couch to hug them against his chest.

Janus clicked his tongue and put his hand next to the bowl before he bitterly smirked to Virgil.

“I get that she’s your Mom and that she worries and that you talk with her about stuff that weighs you down,” Janus began in the calmest voice he could muster. “But did you really have to talk with her about what happened to the twins? She’s bugging me about it since you did and asks regularly if something else happened and if it worries you or makes you sick.”

Virgil’s expression darkened the more Janus spoke and when he had finished Virgil pressed his face against his knees and groaned in agony.

“I told her not to freak out! I really said that I’m fine, uncle J! I – I just- I’m sorry she’s giving you a hard time! I just wanted to talk with her about – about you know? We almost lost Remus and we had no idea! It – it-” Virgil tried to explain but couldn’t quite finish.

Sighing Janus moved closer to his nephew and put his hand on his knee, drawing little circles on it.

“I get it, chief. I do. It’s a heavy load those two brought with them. And you were brave enough to still choose to interact with them, while I shied away from it at first. I’m just annoyed by her, you know. She always dots you and she really isn’t talking nicely about neither Roman nor Remus even though neither is responsible for all of that. She cannot see that though and maybe you could try and not mention them too much to her for the moment? Just so I could get a little peace of mind for now?”

“Yeah, sure… I’m sorry about her. She always makes it hard on you, even though you’re not responsible for me.”

Janus smiled and Virgil looked up again and rested his chin on his knees.

“You’re her only baby. She’s worried,” Janus replied and ruffled through his hair with a fond grin. “Not everyone has the best son on earth, you know.”

“Oh, shut up!” Virgil squealed and hid his head again by pressing it against his knees.

Janus snickered and put the movie back on to get Virgil out of hiding. It worked and the two continued watching the movie in silence. Virgil ended up huddling against Janus’s side and he kept “stealing” chips from his bowl even though Janus had it brought for the two of them.

“Are you worried about her disliking Roman?”

Janus looked over to Virgil with a frown. His nephew smirked a little and continued: “Because she might give you shit once you’re together with him?”

Groaning Janus shoved Virgil to the side and listened him giggle at his theatrics just to shove him back into the upper arm. Janus bickered for a moment to which Virgil only rolled his eyes and eventually flicked his arm again, so Janus would stop.

“Listen,” Virgil said as Janus rubbed his arm in pretended pain, “it’s fine that you like him.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do and don’t interrupt me. He’s a sweet guy. And you keep insisting that he doesn’t need a relationship now but you shouldn’t decide for him if that’s the case. He should get a say in it too. I mean like, if I shouldn’t get doted on, he shouldn’t either, am I right?”

Janus said nothing to that and Virgil knew that he had one this argument. He settled down again and they kept watching the end of the movie before putting in Mary Poppins after Janus’s request.

___

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