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fictionalmenmakemecry · 2 years

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Staying by his Side

Written Upon Request!

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Characters: Johnny Depp x Reader

Summary: You support Johnny while going through the difficult times of the trial. As time goes by, you feel him drifting more and more away from you. You get to breaking point and confront him, only for him to show a side you never saw before.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut

I looked at myself in the mirror as I fiddled with putting on my earrings which I got for a birthday gift. I could sense someone's eyes on me and turned around to see Johnny in the doorway of our bedroom, fixing the cuffs of his suit.

"How do I look?" Johnny sighed walking towards me.

I rarely ever saw him nervous. He was usually the relaxed one in the relationship but this trial showed me a different side of him. A side I felt sorry for. He was everything he usually wasn't. He was anxious, fearful, worried and doubtful.

"Handsome as always" I gave a reassuring smile straightening his tie and brushing off some loose lint on his shoulders.

He gave me a small smile and brought his attention to my ears, instantly noticing them.

"I wish we had a better reason to wear these" Johnny reached up brushing his finger lightly across the pearls.

"Would you help me with this?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. I leaned over to get a simple silver necklace on my dresser and handed it to Johnny.

I turned around and lifted my hair to give better access to my neck. I felt the cold chain touch my neck as he put it around me and played with the latch.

"Thank you" I said quietly feeling the silence in the room.

I knew Johnny had a lot on his mind. I could see him sinking into thought as we got closer to the court date. I really could only see a shell of a man compared to when we first met 15 years ago.

"Johnny, everything will turn out okay" I brought my hand up to his face caressing it.

"The coming weeks are going to be hard but you have me, your family, friends and fans all behind you" I continued wanting to support him any way I could.

"You're right, it won't last forever" He broke into a smile.

I know deep inside me though, the smile was more for me than it was for him.

I reached up and gave him a kiss before one of his assistants knocked on the door and informed us that it was time to make our way to the courthouse.

I looked into his eyes and we both took a deep breath and made our way out of the room to face the start of a long battle.

As the days went by, I felt Johnny wasn't present when we would come back home from a long day. He was drained emotionally and mentally from reliving a lot of the unpleasant memories when it came to his ex.

We would come home, have dinner mostly in silence and then he would disappear until late hours of the night. I wanted to respect his space and give time to himself. But apart of me felt completely disconnected from him. I missed him. Even though he would be right beside me, mentally he wasn't. I felt selfish feeling the way I did. I had no right to think this way especially at this present moment. So I kept my feelings to myself.

My mind would wander to the night everything changed. I had a small dinner to celebrate my birthday at my place. Being surrounded with all my closest friends made the night perfect for me. Johnny being one of them, came bearing a gift and gave me a big hug like usual wishing my a happy birthday. We all sat around the table enjoying delicious food and making sure no glass turned empty. We laughed and reminisced of fun old memories. I looked over at Johnny greatful that he could make it.

"I'm so glad you're here" I beamed leaning over to him so he could hear me over all the loud chatter.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world" He grinned

As the night went on, people said their goodbyes and went home. I closed the front door and came back into the room to only see Johnny left who started stacking the plates and clearing the food from them.

"Oh Johnny don't worry about them. I'll deal with them later" I chuckled seeing how truly sweet he was.

"I'm not leaving you with this. I want to help" He looked up at me and smiled.

We both started clearing the table and bringing everything back into the kitchen. I rinsed the dishes and he placed them in the packed dishwasher.

"I hope you had a good night?" Johnny asked while I handed him the last of the glasses.

"I really did. It meant a lot to me that you could make it" I looked over at him drying my hands on a towel.

"Over the years, you've never missed one of mine and I intent to do the same" He leant against the kitchen counter across from me.

We looked at each other not saying anything. I noticed he was wearing a waistcoat with a navy shirt. His sleeves were rolled up making his tattoos visible.

"I never notice how many tattoos you had" I said leaning over to take a closer look.

He brought his arm closer to me turning it slowly to show me all of them.

"I've gotten so used to them, I don't even pay attention to them anymore" Johnny glanced up at me.

"You don't have any?" He asked bringing the focus on to me.

I blushed instantly knowing what I was going to have to show him.

"I do" I embarrassedly smiled

"I didn't think you would" Johnny smirked raising his eyebrows.

"I was 19, drunk and it was spontaneous" I chuckled turning around and dropping my cardigan off my shoulders to allow him to see a small snake running down the middle of my back.

I could feel his fingers brushed along my skin as he moved my hair to the side. I felt goosebumps raise along my arm from the surprised contact.

"It suits you" I could sense him smiling flirtatiously

I turned around to come to the realization of how close we were. I didn't want to pull away. So I stayed and looked up to see his eyes meet mine.

Johnny and I had always been close. There was moments I thought we could get together but the timing was never right. One of us would be busy with work or would be in relationship. We were always supportive of each other. I had a baby crush on him but I tried to not get in the way of our friendship. I wouldn't have thought he would feel the same way about me.

Up until this very point.

He took my hands into his and brushed his thumbs along my knuckles making me feel instantly at ease.

"You look beautiful tonight" Johnny commented softly his eyes never leaving mine.

I felt myself turning red and glanced away in shyness. Every cell in my body wanted to lean up and kiss him but something was holding me back. I brought my eyes back to his to see him looking at my lips but bringing his eyes back to mine.

I sensed him lean in slowly to me. Before I knew it, I felt his soft lips press against mine. My hand instantly went to his neck feeling the heat come off his skin. His hands went to my hair, tucking it behind my ear. My body felt electric, I felt my face melt into his other hand as he rest it on my jaw.

Even after 4 years, thinking back on that memory, it still stay fresh in my mind.

I woke up at 3am to not feeling a sleeping body next to me. I got up groggily and aimlessly found my dressing gown in the dark, I threw it around me and made my way out of the room. I walked down the hallway to see a dim light coming from the kitchen. I slowly pushed the ajar door further not wanting to startle Johnny. I peeped my head around to see him smoking a cigarette over the kitchen sink blowing the smoke out the open window.

"Can't sleep?" I asked bundling my dressing gown around me and making my way to him.

He glance over taking one last inhale before throwing the end of his cigarette out the window.

"I don't even know what that is anymore" He laughed quietly to himself walking towards me.

He looked down at me wrapping his arms around my waist. I rested my head against his chest closing my eyes and remembering all the happy memories that we made in this very kitchen. The delicious meals and midnight feasts we dug into.

"Come on love, let's try.. What is it called again?" Sleep?" Johnny chuckled.

"Very funny" I smiled securing his hand in mine and leading him out of the kitchen.

The days turned into weeks and suddenly a whole month has gone by in a blink of an eye. Johnny and I had gotten to a point where, to me, it felt like we were living in two different worlds at times.

I would try my best to make his favourite dinners. I would suggest we watch classic movies that he enjoyed to take his mind off things. I even went to buy some of his food that he loves. He would comment on it and try to show some type of appreciation but I knew he just didn't have any interest.

He spend his days in court or in meetings with his legal team. He come home and rarely did we even eat together anymore. He would close his office door and that would be that.

I would knock on his office door hoping he would open it and let me in so we could spend some quality time. But most of the time, he would give me an excuse or explain how busy he was.

I had gotten to the point of cracking. I fell in love with someone who enjoy spending their time with me. Someone who wanted to be in a relationship with me. But it felt that Johnny just was too busy or just didn't care about me like he used to. Some nights while eating dinner alone, I would start crying feeling the emptiness of the house and loneliness consume me completely. I would pull myself together and carry on before Johnny would even notice.

As the court days flickered by, we were coming near the end and tensions were building. The jury was going to give their decision and see how it would be settled.

It was coming to the end, the final week of the trial, tomorrow would be the last day. I heard constant mumbling from outside Johnny's office as I walked past making my way to the kitchen. I went over to the oven and opened the door to check on tonight's dinner. To see it nearly ready, I set the table for myself and decided that maybe tonight Johnny would actually want to have dinner with me. I carefully set his side in hope. I heard the office door opening and the sound of voices getting clearer as everyone made there way out of the room. I peered around the corner to see them making their way to the front door and Johnny saying goodbye.

He turned around and saw me, giving me a weak smile before waving them off and closing the front door behind them.

"I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight?" I asked.

"It's nearly ready" I added smiling in anticipation.

"Yeah, I will. It smells great" He nodded coming towards me

"Great" I said a little too enthusiastically.

I gestured for him to sit at the set table and starting prepping dinner on to plates. I handed him his plate as he poured two glasses of wine.

We both settled into our dinners with only the sound of cutlery hitting the dishes.

"So how do you feel now that it's nearly over?" I asked taking a sip of my wine.

"Some relief knowing we are near the end. At this point, whatever happens, happens" Johnny said popping some mash potato into his mouth.

I looked down at my plate and suddenly lost all appetite. I felt a lump build up in my throat.

"Is everything okay?" Johnny asked concerned as I continued to look down.

I kept looking at my plate knowing that if I met his eye line, I would start crying. I have gotten to a point where even having dinner with him felt like he was a stranger to me. I felt completely depressed coming to that realization and my stomach was heavy.

I could feel Johnny's stare follow as I left the room. But I didn't care what he thought. I was too overwhelmed with emotion to even consider his feelings at this moment. He trailed behind me as I reached for the tissue box on the counter.

"Excuse me" I mumble trying to hold myself together before dropping my cutlery and getting up, making my way to the kitchen.

I brought the tissue up to my face to stop the tears falling down my cheeks. I clench my jaw to try and stop myself from completely breaking down.

"Y/n" Johnny uttered worryingly taking a few step towards me with open arms.

I put my hand up to stop him from coming any closer. I looked up at him to see his face covered in confusion and concern.

"What's wrong?" He furrowed his brows together.

There was silence for a couple of moments. I need to be able to control my emotion.

"Are you really that oblivious?" I remarked playing with the damp tissue in my hand.

I looked over to see Johnny taken aback.

"I-I know we've been distant the last few weeks but..." Johnny stuttered pushing his hair out of his face.

"Distant is one way to put it" I mumbled pressing my lip together.

"Why do you say that?" He questioned.

I took a deep breath knowing that everything that has been building up the last few weeks would be dished out right now. All my emotions that built up, the pain and loneliness.

"Johnny do you even love me anymore?" I asked sharply looking over at him.

His eyebrows shot up in disbelief and I heard him take in a deep inhale. His warm brown eyes were now filled with sorrowfulness. He searched my face while trying to find words.

"For the past month, I have never felt so alone in a relationship. I knew it was going to be hard. But we've always been there for each other even as friends over the years." I expressed crossing my arms.

Johnny stood there in what looked like complete shock.

"Y/n, I'm sor-"

"You're telling me you had no idea?" I interrupted looking at him coldly.

"I tried to support you in every way possible. I would make your favourite dinners, give you massages, stayed up with you all hours in the night to help you with documents." I stated my voice unwavered.

"You know how hard it is to hear about your partner and his ex's sex life? For the whole world to hear your sexting conversations ?" My voice started to break as I raised it. I could not hold back all the emotion that I had pushed down for so long.

Johnny dropped his head down what looked like in shame. Tears rolled down my face again wiping them away with the disintegrating tissue in my hands.

"I love you so much. I give you everything I could to support you. But I can only give so much before I'm left with nothing." I wept.

My head started pounding and I had finally cracked and flooded the room with my sadness. We both stay silence for awhile. Both of us gathering our thoughts.

"I was going to do this when this whole court situation was over with" Johnny muttered.

"What?" I looked confusingly at him not understanding what he was talking about.

He reached his hand out and I looked up at him. I hesitantly took it and he leaned me out of the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked not understanding what was happening.

We stopped outside his office door and he turned to me.

"You don't understand how sorry I am to ever make you think that I don't love you." Johnny apologized taking both of his hands in mine.

"Looking back, I realised how cold I've acted towards you" He continued.

His eyes would flicker between both of mine. His voice was quiet and soft. I felt his thumbs brush the back of my knuckles like he always does when I need comfort.

"Johnn-"

"No, I need to say this" He cut across me.

"We've been friends for a long time and you always been there for me. Since then, I've fallen madly in love with you. To ever think, I've hurt you in any way makes my heart ache. I've wanted to show how much you mean to me for awhile and I struggled. But something came to my mind and I've been completely engrossed in it. I hope you'll forgive me" Johnny expressed apologetically.

He let go of one of my hands and turned the handle of the door. We walked into his office to see it in an untidy state; documents, files and stacks of paper everywhere.

We weave through the mess until we got to a door at the back of this room which I always assumed was a closet of some sort.

"I hope this explains it" He glanced at me nervously before opening the door.

He opens the door and instantly colour pops out. The walls are covered in sketching and painting in every size and colour. My eyes were overwhelmed visually not being to focus on thing before moving on to the next. I took a few steps and notice the room wasn't big but it was cluttered with paints, inks, varnishes, sketchbooks. Multiple canvas were stack against the walls of his artwork of all different styles. There was a desk but it was covered in papers and paintbrushes, it was a complete mess.

"Oh my god" I mumbled to myself.

The walls were covered in candid photographs of random people on the street. Some were crossing a street, eating ice cream and other random things. They were beautiful and made them special moments.

"Did you take these?" I asked looking over at him with my mouth open from shock.

Johnny stood in the door way still, with his hands behind his back. He looked like a little kid who was shy about showing his schoolwork.

"Y-yeah I did" He nodded giving a small smile.

I turned back around continued to making my way around the room. I grinned instantly seeing photos of me that I didn't realise he had taken. Photos of me cooking, cleaning and even sleeping. The photo had me laying on my stomach with my arms under the pillow hugging it. I looked peaceful and completely unconscious. I felt him come up behind me leaning over resting his head over my shoulder.

"You look so beautiful sleeping. I never get tired looking at you" He smiled affectionately at me.

I brought my hand up and caressed his face resting my head against his.

The more I looked the more photos I found of me. There had to be hundreds of me doing the most mundane activities. I was overwhelmed with how much he loved taken photos of me. I wondered how I was this oblivious to my surroundings.

"How did you take so many photos of me being completely clueless?" I quizzed feeling embarrassed.

"It was hard at the beginning but I would notice when you would go into your little world and day dream and if I was quiet enough you wouldn't even look up" Johnny explained.

In most of the photos, I was smiling mindlessly. It really did show that I was happy in life with Johnny before this whole court thing happened.

I finally turned to face the door way when I noticed a canvas sticking out behind the door sitting in a easel. I pulled the door away to reveal the true size of it and notice that it was me. It was a painting of me reading in the sun. I brought my hand up to my face completely taken back on what I was seeing.

"Johnny" I gasped

I could hear Johnny chuckle lightly behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my head.

"You always are so hard on yourself. I wanted to create something that even you could see how beautiful you are." Johnny grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

I had no words. I was completely in shock and I couldn't stop looking at the painting. He put so much detail into it. My sunhat that I wore was exactly the same. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I couldn't believe he did this for me. After everything I said earlier I felt terrible.

"All this time you were working on this?" I asked still in awe.

"Mhmm" He hummed

I continued to stare at it not being able to take my eyes away from it. I turned to face Johnny not knowing what to say. I was entirely caught off guard.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I gestured at the room

He took a deep inhale and picked up a paintbrush absentmindedly, messing with the hairs of it. He scrunched his mouth up to one side as his mind wandered.

"Um.." He begun, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Well, many people don't know this side of me. It's my safe place where I know I can come here and let my guard down completely" He continued to looked down at the paint brush.

"After everything we've been through, you deserve to see this side of me"

I felt horrible for everything I said. I should have just been open with him the whole time. We would have avoided this whole mess altogether.

I immediately went over to hug him feeling the weight of all the words I said earlier. I was ashamed to ever doubt Johnny. Especially in this period of time where he needs all the support he can get.

"I'm so sorry" I uttered regrettably.

"No, no love" I felt his arms engulf me

"This isn't your fault. It was stupid and selfish of me to just pull away from you all this time"

We stood there holding each other. I realised how much I missed him touching me and being so close to me.

I felt his finger graze the skin on my hip that was just under the hem of my shirt. My skin was sensitive to his delicate touch. After so much distance between us, my body felt at home in his arms.

"How about we make our usual midnight snack?" Johnny offered

I instantly beamed knowing I've missed us, just being us after so long.

"I would love that"

We made our way to the kitchen and we gathered all our usual comfort food such as ice cream, chips, peanut butter, whipped cream and cookies. I sat on the kitchen counter while Johnny stood between my legs and we fed each other like usual.

I fed him a cookie while he picked up the can of whipped cream and squirted some in this mouth with the cookie. I couldn't stop myself from laughing seeing his facial hair covering in splotches of cream.

"Mhmm?" Johnny grinned with a full mouth gesturing at the whip cream can in his hand wanting to offer me some.

I nodded while giggling. I opened my mouth wide and watch as he carefully aimed the cream into my mouth. The cream started building up fast to the point where I was shake my head telling him to stop.

I glanced over to see a cheeky smile on his face as he continued to squeeze the can. I pulled away and push his hand aside to have cream fly all over us as we laughed uncontrollable. Johnny put down the can and we looked at each other. Cream was everywhere, in our hair clothes and faces.

I got my finger and wiped some off his cheek popping the light fluffy substance in my mouth.

"I think you missed a spot" Johnny laughed glancing all around us to the mess.

He leaned in licking the cream off my face moving his way down my neck. Feeling his lips pressed against me made squeeze my thighs together involuntarily. A quiet moan escaped from my mouth as I felt his hot breath spread across my skin.

"I've missed you so much" I breathed feeling his hands travel up my thighs.

"I missed you too baby"

"Seeing you in your little suit for court makes my mind go places" Johnny hummed leaning into my ear.

"What places?"

I bring my hand down to his chest and wrapping my legs around his waist bringing him closer to me.

"Let's just say I've been distracted in court imagining all the ways I could take you while leaving everything on" He teased kissing my lips gently.

I felt his harden crotch against mine. I wiggles my hips wanting to tease him. His eyes were filled with irresistible desire. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me.

Our lips pressed together eagerly and I felt him deepen the kiss. His tongue moved against mine. I brought my hands to his shirt and fumbled with the buttons impatiently wanting to feel his skin against mine.

He grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and we broke our kiss for a moment while he pulled it over my head, throwing it on the kitchen floor.

"I've missed this body so much" Johnny held my waist kissing all the way from shoulders to the top of my breasts.

I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his soft hands on my back. His warm lips pressing against sensitive spots on my body.

I opened my eyes to the sounds of objects hitting the floor. I looked over to see Johnny pushing the snacks off the kitchen counter.

"We can deal with that later" Johnny smirked

I laid my back across the cold marble countertop feeling goosebumps travel along my skin. Johnny kissed down my stomach 'til he got to my jeans where he undid the fastener and pulled them down. I raised my hips wanting them off me as fast as possible.

I gazed down to see him kissing my upper thighs making his way slowly to my underwear. My core was pulsing. My hands went to his hair.

"Please Johnny, you're killing me here" I whined easing my hips up trying to get him closer.

"Mhmm, what do you want love?" He teased pulling away slightly from my covered pussy.

"I want you to eat my out Johnny" I whimpered

"I think someone needs to say please" He looked up with his deep brown sexy eyes.

"Please, can you eat me out?" I was begging at this point.

"With pleasure" Johnny purred with his soft velvet voice.

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