#LIKE ITS BEEN AROUND 4 KLAUS YEARS SINCE DAVE DIED | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gilmores-glorious-blog · 4 years

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i wish that i knew what makes you think i'm so special

more klaus/dave but this time it’s hurt/comfort bc i like to suffer :) title from love like you from steven universe

The ghosts were worse at night. It was quiet, no sound but insects and birds and explosions in the distance. Klaus kept his eyes open and he saw the mangled corpses of soldiers and civilians crowding him from every angle; he closed his eyes and he saw his father, saw Ben’s death over and over, saw Dave dying every kind of horrible death imaginable.

He decided the corpses were preferable to his own imagination.

But sometimes his exhaustion got the better of him. It had been three days since he’d last slept. Even when Dave fell asleep in his arms, when they snuck out to the jungle, Klaus didn’t dare to rest his eyes. God knows what would go wrong if they were both sleeping alone out there. So Dave had insisted they stay at the camp tonight, and that Klaus at least try to sleep.

Klaus tried so hard not to give in. He had gotten quite used to the ghosts around here, and as long as he ignored the ones that were men he’d known, his soldier buddies that had died too early, he could manage them well enough. But fighting in a war was tiring, and Klaus had to admit that this cot was more comfortable than the jungle floor, and although he missed Dave’s arms, he could hear the man snoring quietly in the cot across from his, and he could feel his eyes closing…

dave’s hands cradled his face. it was nice. klaus leaned in to kiss him, but before he could, dave crumpled to the ground in front of him, blood streaming from his mouth.

‘dave!’

through the blood, he tried to speak. tried to say goodbye to klaus.

‘you’re…’

klaus nodded at him frantically, encouraging him to talk.

‘you’re my greatest disappointment, number 4.’ the blonde curls turned to gray hairs, and the body that had been lifeless a moment ago was now all too alive. his father’s hands were around his throat, choking him.

he couldn’t breathe. couldn’t think. he needed dave.

klaus saw his siblings in the fading edges of his vision. they said nothing as reginald squeezed the life out of their brother.

in his final moments of consciousness, klaus heard a voice that belonged either to ben or to dave.

‘better him than us.’

Klaus woke up screaming. He clutched at the blanket around him, trying to remember where he was.

Dave was next to him in an instant. “Klaus!”

Klaus looked at Dave. Dave was here. Klaus was here. They were both alive. How?

“Hey, hey, take some deep breaths, ok? I’m here, you’re gonna be okay.” Dave moved his hand to Klaus’ back and rubbed it gently.

Klaus heeded his instructions, and after a few shaky breaths, the heat of the Vietnam night air made its way into his lungs and he felt his brain start to work again.

“Dave.” He reached a trembling hand up to touch his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Klaus, what happened?”

“Ah, nothing new. Just nightmares. Ghosts. The usual.” Klaus waved a dismissive hand. “Come ‘ere.” He pulled Dave up off from his spot kneeling on the ground and tugged him down onto the bed next to him.

“Woah, hold on.” Dave stood up again. “You know we can’t do that here. Your screaming probably woke some others up, and they can’t see us.”

“Fuck that, I wanna kiss you.” Klaus grabbed at Dave. He knew somewhere in the back of his brain that Dave was right, but he was tired and scared and shaken from his dream and he needed to touch Dave.

“Klaus.” Dave wrapped a hand around Klaus’ arm, knowing that Klaus was too weak to fight back anymore. “We can’t. Do you want to leave, though? I promise I’ll stay awake this time, and you can sleep in the jungle.”

As much as Klaus wanted to stay in the relative comfort of his bed, he wanted to hold Dave even more, so he stood tentatively.

Dave threw on a shirt and wrapped his jacket around Klaus before heading out of the tent.

Neither of them spoke as they walked towards their spot- a small clearing surrounded by trees, far enough from camp and secluded enough that no one would find them- but as soon as they were away from other people, Dave took Klaus’ hand.

The moment they made it to their clearing, Klaus threw his hands around Dave’s neck and kissed him, hard.

Dave reciprocated the kiss long enough for Klaus to send them both tumbling to the ground, but he pushed Klaus up a second later.

“Wait.” He sat up, bringing Klaus with him. “Are you alright?”

Klaus blinked, confused. “Yeah!” He moved towards Dave again, but found Dave’s hand on his chest stopping him.

“Klaus, your dream. Do you need to talk about it?” Dave moved to sit against a tree, and Klaus crawled after him, not wanting to stand.

“Oh right. That.” He laughed dryly.

“I know you get nightmares a lot, and I’ve tried not to ask about them, but if that’s what keeping you awake, we need to do something about it.”

Klaus said nothing, fiddling with Dave’s hand.

“I used to get nightmares when I was little,” Dave continued. “And my ma always had me talk about them with her. I hated it, but it did help. To tell someone else what’s happening in the dream that scares you so much. Do you think you can talk to me?”

Klaus swallowed nervously. He really didn’t want to share his dreams, but Dave wanted him to, and he wanted whatever Dave wanted.

“You were there.” He starts. “You were there, and I tried to kiss you, but you died before I could.” Klaus felt Dave stiffen next to him, but he said nothing. “There was blood everywhere, and you were trying to tell me something, but before you could you turned into my father. He started choking me, and my siblings were all there watching, and the last thing I heard before I died was you or my brother saying it was better that it was me he killed and not the rest of you. Which is true, of course, so that’s the worst part.” Klaus blinked back tears as he stopped abruptly, finding it too hard to keep speaking.

“It’s not true.” Dave said immediately, taking both of Klaus’ hands. “It isn’t true. I would die a thousand times before I let you get hurt, and I would kill a hundred men if it saved you from a scratch.”

Klaus looked at him, eyes glistening. “You’re such a sap.”

Dave smiled, kissing Klaus’ hand. “I am. But Klaus, you gotta understand, your dream was just that. A dream. I’m so sorry you have these nightmares, but they’re not real, Klaus. I’m alive. I’m right here. And your family isn’t. Your father can’t hurt you here. I’m gonna protect you. No matter what, I’m gonna protect you.”

Klaus leaned forward and kissed Dave gently. “Thank you.” He whispered, touching their foreheads together. It was a nice moment, and Klaus knew he shouldn’t ask what he wanted to, but he had to know.

“Why?”

“Hmm?” Dave was distracted, running his fingers through Klaus’ hair.

“Why do you want to protect me? Why do you want to help me through this? It would be so much easier for you to just leave, like everyone else does.” It had been three months since Klaus and Dave got together, but Klaus still couldn’t believe that Dave actually wanted to be with him. Guess that’s what thirty years of abuse and abandonment issues does to a guy.

“Klaus…” Dave had a sad look in his eyes. “I protect you because I care about you. I want to help you because you deserve help. And I’m never going to leave you, because you are an incredible person. Don’t- don’t say you aren’t because it’s not true. You are funny, and brilliant, and unique, and kind, and loving, and that makes you incredible. I know your past has taught you not to believe these things, but I need you to listen to me when I say them. I’m not lying, Klaus. I’d never lie to you.” Dave stopped talking for a moment and brushed his lips against Klaus’.

“I love you, Klaus Hargreeves.”

Dave kissed Klaus again. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life.”

Klaus thought Dave was crying, but he wasn’t sure. Klaus was definitely crying, though. Because somehow, despite every past relationship and every reason Klaus had to not trust Dave, he found himself believing his every word.

Klaus moved so he was straddling Dave and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you, David Katz.” He held Dave’s head up so they made eye contact. “I didn’t think love was real before I met you. You’re the first person I’ve ever truly loved.”

Yeah, Dave was crying. Klaus lay his head down on Dave’s shoulder and cried along with him.

They sat like that for a while, neither one talking. What a strange sight that must have been. Two soldiers, beaten and bruised by the war raging on around them, clutching on to one another and weeping.

Finally Klaus lifted his head from Dave’s shoulder and began to wipe away his tears. “This would be embarrassing if it were with anyone but you.” He laughed weakly.

Dave chuckled, rubbing at his own eyes. “Pretty good summary of what love is.”

Klaus kissed Dave, and the salt of their tears mingled in his mouth, and it was the sweetest kiss Klaus had ever had.

“Hey,” Dave broke the kiss after a minute. “You should try to get some sleep.”

Klaus didn’t argue this time. He shifted so he was laying his head on Dave’s lap, staring up at the night sky. Here in the clearing, a few stars were visible amidst the lingering smoke of explosions.

Klaus’ eyes closed and he felt Dave’s hand on his face, his fingers gently tracing Klaus’ eyes and nose and lips, before lingering in his hair.

Klaus didn’t fall asleep right away, he was too distracted listening to the sounds of the jungle and the sound of Dave’s heart and his breathing, distracted by the feel of Dave’s hands, one in Klaus’ hair and the other clasped in Klaus’ hands, distracted by the feel of Dave’s legs underneath him and his chest to the side of him.

Right when Klaus had nearly drifted off, he heard Dave speak. It was quiet, so quiet that Klaus wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it. Dave must have thought Klaus was already asleep, meaning that he was speaking to himself and to no one at all.

“I love you Klaus. So much.”

Love. Klaus let the word roll around in his tired brain. He’d always hated that word. He thought it was just a word people used to validate their abuse. A word people used as a lie to trick him into trusting them. A word people used to a sickening amount towards others, but never towards Klaus.

But somehow, against all odds, lying there in the middle of an active warzone, in Vietnam, in 1968, someone was using that word towards Klaus. Not as a lie. Not to abuse. Simply because he meant it. Because he loved Klaus.

And goddamnit, Klaus loved him too.

#klaus x dave #klaus hargreeves x dave katz #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy fanfiction #tua fic #jesus christ i'm lonely #i want what they had #obviously minus the whole active warzone/ending in tragedy thing #eli.posts #eli.writes

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wykart · 5 years

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Does it Matter (It’s Klaus)

Part 2 of Fifty-one years (and one day) later (read on ao3)

Summary: The truth comes out, and Klaus must come to grips with the fact that his entire life of happiness with Dave was taken away by his own brother.

Chapter 5: And my brain is like an orchestra (chpt. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4)

He knocked again. No answer. He sighed, he really hadn’t wanted to intrude like this, but Klaus left him no choice. Just as he was about to teleport through the door, however, the lock clicked, and the door swung open gently. As soon as he took a step forwards, he knew something was wrong. The air felt cold, clustered. He could feel breath on his neck and eyes on his back, watching.

“Klaus?” He called, “you in here?”

“What are you doing here,” A voice croaked from the living room. Five walked through the entrance way and saw him sitting on the carpet, that old black patch-worked, fur-trimmed coat thrown over his otherwise bare chest. He looked like shit. The feeling was only getting stronger, shadows shifting in the corner of his eye, an incessant muttering in the background of every thought – he couldn’t possibly be imagining it.

“Actually I came to ask you if you were alright,” he said, eyes trained on the floor.

“Bit of a stupid question, wouldn’t you say little bro?” He wished he’d stop calling him that, but now wasn’t the time to argue.

“It occurs to me that I… I never apologised, for what I did, or for what I said.” Klaus didn’t answer. He just stared, silent, stony. “I told the other’s the truth, they all wanted to be here too but I told them it should be just me since this is… well it’s all my fault so…” he couldn’t find the right words, and all the while, those voices kept on growing. A twist of vertigo deep in his gut as he felt something large, something black, skulking through the air. “Look, I don’t do this sort of thing often, you know that,” what was it? It made his blood run cold and his eyes sting like he was staring into the sun. “I’m sorry. I know that won’t make anything better, and I know you won’t ever forgive me, I’m not asking for that. I’m just asking for you to come back to the academy. Vanya’s in trouble and… Klaus, are you listening?” He’d starting grinning, chuckling to himself, staring off into the distance. His eyes snapped back to attention when Five stopped talking, a purposeful expression on his face.

“There’s just one thing, Five, one thing that doesn’t quite add up,” he smirked, feigning confusion. “How did you know I would never have come back? Hell, how did you even know where I was in time? I never told you where I served, never told you why I came back, you didn’t go back to your magical time travel agency until after I’d been back for hours so, my question is, how did you know?” Five shuffled from foot to foot, averting his eyes. He couldn’t have been more obvious. “There’s something you’re not telling me here, isn’t there?”

“You’re right,” he sighed, “there is… something else.” He knew it would be easier if he just got it over with. This was his chance to get it all out in the open. No more secrets, no more lies. Let him think he was a monster, hell, he’d be right. It wasn’t as if there’d be a place for him in this world after the apocalypse had been averted. He didn’t belong here, with his family, with people living their lives. He belonged in the ruins, alone, wandering forever. Klaus was right about that, even though he hid in this body, the one his siblings remembered, Number Five had died a long time ago. “I know that you never would have come back because you never did, in another version of events at least. You never travelled back, and you lived your life in the past, for fifty years.” Five hesitated, trying to gauge his response. Nothing. Just that disquieting stare. “You were eighty, you were done with your life, you didn’t want to have anything to do with us, or with saying the world-“

“Was I happy?” His voice was soft, and so full of hurt, barely a whisper.

“I - I don’t know, Klaus, how would I know,” he sighed, defensive, dismissive.

“Well, was I with him?” A simple question, carrying the weight of the world. Five couldn’t bring himself to lie, not anymore.

He cleared his throat. “You were, I think... I think he would have passed away earlier this year… if I hadn’t...”

Again, Klaus chuckled to himself, as if that strained, hollow laughter was the only thing stopping him from going over the edge. “Just when I thought you couldn’t do anymore damage. Just when I thought I had nothing more left to lose. Turns out you didn’t just kill him, you killed me too.” And that feeling, there was no denying it now, a deep sickness in the air, wiling away at his senses, his sanity. Was it Klaus? His power had never felt this way when they were children. There’d always been a strangeness that followed him, a darkened edge, always one foot in the grave. This was different. It was powerful, maddening, Five could feel the vast emptiness of other worlds, other planes... it was suffocating.

“Look Klaus,” he pressed on, despite it all, pressing down. “I’m sorry, but that version events should never have happened in the first place. The fact of you being in that time – just for a few months – is bad enough, let alone a lifetime.” Tell him he should never have suffered. It didn’t change the fact that he had.

“You, on the other hand, can meddle with time as you please,” he quipped, still smirking. None of it seemed to bother him, the building noise in the back of Five’s throat, static behind he eyes as if he was about to pass out.

“Hate me, I don’t care, I deserve it.” He shook his head, trying to dispel the swarm, clear his eyes of those black shapes, taking form. “I would’ve travelled back further, killed him before you’d even met to save you the grief, but I arrived too late for that.”

Klaus made an exasperated face, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He stood up, looking away, still laughing that hollow, grating sound. “That’s your fucking take away? Are you serious?”

This wasn’t going at all as planned, and Five was having a hard time forming thoughts at all. “I’m not asking you to do this for me, do it for the others - Diego, Allison, Luther,” he paused, “and especially Vanya.”

He stood, arms folded, indifferent. “And what makes you think I’d do anything for them?”

“They’re your family,” He spluttered, against the grain. He could’ve sworn there were hands reaching, wide eyes in the dark, silhouettes by the window.

He scoffed, “we were never a family, we were just a bunch of kids forced together, experimented on, then left to fend for ourselves.” The intensity kept on building. Five repressed the urge to double over, struggling to keep his footing - and all the while, Klaus stared, dark curls swaying in a nonexistent breeze. “I finally found a life that made me happy -“

“What the...” He stammered, stepping back. “Are you doing this?” He couldn’t quite believe it himself.

Klaus didn’t seem to hear. “You took it away,” he murmured, and Five could see the beginnings of tears forming in his eyes. Five felt the air relinquish its grip for a moment, the tightness in his throat subsided, he could think – he could move.

He cleared his throat, trying not to let his fear betray him. “So, you’re not going to help, and if the world dies, let it, right Klaus?” He turned to and started walking back towards the door. “Just forget it, I’m leaving.”

The door swung shut in front of him, locks clicking back, barring his way. “You’re not going anywhere,” Klaus muttered. Five’s heart was racing. This was impossible, it was Klaus, he wasn’t capable of any of this.

“Excuse me?” He asked. Shaking his head, he braced to jump through the door, tensing his muscles, focusing his mind. Nothing happened. There was no reason for him to be out of energy, and yet he was powerless. A wave of nausea fell over him, magnified tenfold from what he had felt earlier. There were other people here, he was sure of it now, faces ebbed and flowed from his vision, cast in dark smoke. He turned to see Klaus, hovering a few inches above the ground, arms stretched out at his sides and balled into fists. Blue light emanated from his hands, two glowing beacons. The dead couldn’t resist.

“Klaus,” he cried, he felt hands grasping at his arms, nails digging into his skin, things that lurked just outside his vision. “What the hell is happening, what are you doing?”

“Listen to me!” He screamed. His voice carried the weight of dozens, hundreds, all piling on. Whispers and shouts tumbling over one another, speaking through one mouth. “you took him from me, the only person I’ve ever loved…” tears streamed from wide, blue eyes, blinding light that saw into all the farthest dimensions, the most twisted of spirits. Those eyes saw more than any mind could comprehend without unravelling. “You took my whole life!”

Five couldn’t stand anymore, his head was spinning, ears ringing as a thousand voices joined his own inside his head. The figures began to solidify, gory things, covered in blood and disease and anger. They tore at him, pulled him down to the floor. All of Klaus’ hatred, his anger, his grief – they were channeling it. All the while that noise kept building, and though he pressed his eyes shut the faces followed, dead eyes staring from behind his eyelids. Was this what it felt like to go insane? “Klaus!” He screamed, but his brother was too far away, staring into another world.

Klaus kept on muttering, an incessant ostinato, reminding himself of who he was, lest he lose himself to the spirits that used him. He killed him, he killed him, he killed him/none of them care, none of them even notice/pity, pity, pity, that’s all they have for you/the child’s what they see in you/make him pay, make him pay.

Five was barely aware of his body anymore, beaten black and blue, skin mushed and purple against cracked bones, skin swollen around the eyes, nose dripping hot blood. He tried to jump away, but he couldn’t concentrate over the voices, unrelenting, until another voice joined the fray. “Klaus!” It cried, a strange coherency to it that separated it from the others. “Stop it! Please, stop, you’re hurting him, can’t you see, he’s going to die!”

Klaus kept on muttering, Five could still make out his voice among the others, leading. Shut up, shut up/don’t listen/he deserves it.

“Klaus, please, what’s happening to you? I can’t let you do this!” It sounded so familiar, such a calming thing to hear as he drifted off…

Something must have interrupted Klaus’ concentration, because Five regained a fraction of lucidity, enough for the pain to come flooding back to reality, enough to pull him back to his thoughts. There was a figure standing behind Klaus, pulling his arms back, holding him as he struggled and cried. Five only saw their face framed in a fleeting second of clarity. In his delirium, he couldn’t be sure whether he’d only seen what he wanted to, but he could’ve sworn it was Ben. Regardless, it gave him the time he needed to escape, a relinquishment of the tide that held him in place. He relaxed his mind, his aching body, and disappeared into the fabric of space, reappearing a dizzying moment later on the other side of the door. Despite his protesting bones, he ran. It was the only thing he could think about, getting as far away from that place as possible before it pulled him in again.

It was a fair way back to the academy, but all the way, he kept on running. Running and jumping, running and jumping - a few metres, a few blocks, whatever he could manage. People stared as he stumbled; a kid, bloody and bruised, staggering down the sidewalk. He pressed on, anything to stop that ringing in his ears, anything to push that image of Klaus from his mind.

When he finally came upon the academy steps, he barely had the energy to stand, let alone teleport. He knocked on the door with as much strength as he could muster, and within moments Luther answered it. He must have been waiting for him to come back, eager to get on with the mission.

“Five!” He exclaimed, as he saw his brother, beaten and broken, eyes barely open. “What happened to you? Who did this?”

“K-Klaus,” was all he managed to say before the pain and exhaustion became too much to bear, and he collapsed into Luther’s arms, unconscious.

#tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #number five #klave #dave katz #umbrella academy #angst #ao3 #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

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