#Libby is extremely mean

[moonsaurora]

yall know anyone can do the knocking method right..like are yall forgetting queen mary where they had a 30 minute knocking conversation? or literally any time there’s a random knock in a haunted place? like just cause cody was doing it alone awhile ago doesnt mean they’re faking

#sam and colby #bc some skeptics are so annoying 😭 coming up with crazy ass scenarios to try and debunk how theyre doing it #like if youre just like. i personally don’t believe or you have to experience it tourself then whatever but.. #these fucking stubborn asses or people who are wcared cause their whole belief systens are collapsing.. #like why come up with random ways they coukd be faking instead of letting yourself believe? #they felt the knocks on the ground #how would anyone know where jaqueline was pointing? like even if they were looking at the cameras ir something #still doesnt explain them feeling it #literally no explanation you come up with explains hearing them walk in and out of the room #even if they did do research…they most likely would’ve found libby’s full name and said that. i’m not sure how easy it us to find that tbh #like even if it is extremely easy..zach? like you look up sam golbach and one pops up #same with colby. but zach and his last name..there’s probably multiple people with that name. so unless they knew beforehand that zach was #coming they probably did not have enough time to research to find this specific zach. #like some of the knocks being louder than others? #even if the timeline doesn’t add up or whatever..it doesn’t mean that theyre faking the whole thing #i literally dont know how they could be faking it. like maybe they get some details mixed up or not right but that doesn’t mean they’re #faking the whole thing #ok i’m done now lol #cody and satori

[thebibliosphere]

This is more of a problem on Facebook and Twitter, but there are some fellow authors who get a tad... upset when you talk about money and royalty earnings.

Needless to say, my frankness about how royalties work and just how little many of us are earning from our labor has drawn the ire of a few people, even here on Tumblr.hell.

I'm not particularly bothered by this. In my view, they're the same people who won't discuss wages in the workplace because they don't want anyone else to earn what they do. They know the system is unfairly rigged, but they like it that way because they're scared if more people are educated about how things work, they'll lose whatever competitive edge they think they have, thus enforcing the status quo.

Needless to say, I don't care for this view.

I'm very much a "holy shit, two cakes" kind of creator. I also very firmly believe in pulling people up behind me and spreading the wealth of information that was shared freely with me by other like-minded individuals who also believe that the mysteries around publishing are gatekeeping bullshit and everyone deserves the chance to earn money from their creative endeavors, not just the people who can afford to.

Anyway, David Gaughran's 'Let's Get Digital: How To Self-Publish And Why You Should' is an invaluable resource for indie authors and provides great insight into how publishing and distribution work. It is available for free through the retailers listed on his website.

If you don't want to publish exclusively through Amazon, draft2digital.com does global ebook and also paperback distribution. (I've only used it for ebooks, but I'll be trying out their paperback options for my next book.) You can pair it up with a books2read account to create easy-to-post buy links. Draft2Digital also allows for distribution through library lending services like Overdrive. So that's neat. (NB: if you use d2d, you can't use Kindle Unlimited, so be aware of what links you have active and where if you decide to enroll in KU. You can always opt for wide distribution again once your KU time expires.)

D2D also recently partnered with FindawayVoices.com for audiobook distribution. You can find voice actors there, or you can upload your own files if you already have them. You can submit to Audible through them, too, but you'll earn a pittance more if you upload directly through Audible. Findaway also allows for library lending distribution through Libby and several other global equivalents.

If you need ISBNs, you can buy them cheaper in bulk from Bowker at myidentifiers.com

Individual storefront options like Payhip.com and Gumroad.com are also great ways to allow people to buy directly from you, though I soured on Gumroad after the whole NFT thing and their CEO harassing people on Twitter over it. Payhip is now my preferred storefront, and as an added bonus, they calculate VAT in European countries as well, so that's one less thing for me as an indie author to work out. As an added bonus, Payhip can be directly integrated into your author website if you have one. It's a feature I'll be implementing soon.

itch.io also allows for the sale and distribution of ebook files, though I haven't used it yet.

If you don't have the means to hire a cover designer or the means to do it yourself in photoshop, Canva.com has some decent-ish ebook templates. Just make sure the images and fonts you're using have the right licenses for commercial use.

Editing and formatting are also extremely important, though I know not everyone can afford them. If you can, I highly suggest doing so and shelling out extra to have them format your work across mediums. Ebook formatting is different from paperback formatting, and it can look very strange if you just try to format an ebook into a pdf. It is a skill you can teach yourself (plenty of youtube videos) if you really want to, but I prefer to throw money at my editors, who provide formatting as an additional service. Whatever you can afford to do to streamline the process is money well spent.

Also, do not be shy about using affiliate links to sell your work. Authors lose a solid chunk of money to places like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, etc., in distribution fees. Whatever pennies you can scrape back through affiliate links for directing traffic to those sites is hard-earned--and it is literal pennies sometimes. You can also integrate any affiliate links you do have into draft2digital, so they auto-generate, which is handy.

When it comes to paperbacks, BookShop.org offers the best affiliate earnings, and a percentage of the sale goes toward supporting indie bookstores. They do not take that percentage from your earnings, they pay it themselves. Libro.FM is the audiobook equivalent of BookShop.org, and they also give a percentage of sales to supporting indie book stores.

Anyway, I hope that helps someone. Good luck out there.

Also, if you're the person who sent me the irate email about "giving away trade secrets," feel free to die mad about it. 😘

#long post #indie publishing #indie author #author resources #I've posted all this before #but I figure it never hurts to post it again #also lol at that email #what a sad and bitter view

[lyrakanefanatic]

Tig quotes bc I’m incredibly bored

Avery and Jameson after getting into an argument:

Jameson: Can you get me a cup of water?

Avery, slamming down a glass of ice: Wait.

Oren: I AM COMPLETELY LOST FOR WORDS!!

Avery, narrating: Despite being lost for words, Oren yelled at me for the next 20 minutes.

Grayson, bursting into a room: This is bad. This is really bad.

Jameson: What?

Grayson: I kissed [insert phone girls name here]!

Jameson:

Nash:

Avery:

Xander: Wow. I owe Nash so much money.

Grayson: You’re acting extremely overdramatic!

Xander: I’m not acting.

Jameson: I won’t let something controversial or trivial stop me.

Grayson: You mean the law?

Jameson: Yes I hate that word.

Avery: I hate people who use their horoscope as their whole personality. Like, “haha, I’m such a Scorpio!” no Skye you’re just a bitch.

Max: I hate sudoku. It makes me feel stupid.

Avery: Then don’t do it.

Max: Yeah, but if you don’t do it you’re not only stupid, but you’re also a coward.

Max: Just won at chess against Grayson! 😜

Grayson: You threw the board at my face.

Max: Theres no such thing as fighting dirty if you win.

Libby: I love you guys, you’re the best thing thats ever happened to me. 💖

Jameson: We’re the best thing thats ever happened to you?

Libby: Yes!

Nash: ..

Nash: Im starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Gigi: What happens if you press the brakes and gas at the same time?

Jameson: The car takes a screenshot.

Grayson, who is just try to teach her how to drive properly: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Jameson: The risk I took was calculated.

Grayson: Was it really? Look where we are!

Jameson: I never said I was good at math.

Okay thats all but lmk if I should do more! 🫶

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #avery kylie grambs #grayson hawthorne #xander hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #libby grambs #phone girl

[joseopher]

The Atlas Six Halloween Headcannons👻

Nico

Loves decorating the apartment

Still goes tricker-treating as an adult

ADORES CANDY

He has the goofiest costumes

WANTS THE OTHER ATLAS SIX TO GO TRICKER-TREATING WITH HIM🥺

(even if it means he has to use ✨extreme force✨)

Gideon has to put a limit on how much candy he's allowed because otherwise, he'll get an INTENSE sugar rush and his powers will threaten to bring down the city

However, when Nico does get sugar rushes, afterwards the chaos he gets really tired and woozy from all the magic he used and he curls up with Gideon, mumbling about how much he loves him

Gideon always excuses this by thinking that Nico is just dazed so it obviously doesn't mean anything

But if Gideon occasionally lets Nico break the sugar limit...who can blame him🤷

Libby

Does not go tricker-treating and thinks Nico is a child for doing so

She does dress up in very casual costumes

Mostly spends her Halloween studying but oh...this year Nico ropes her into his shenanigans because he wants to see her

...

I mean, wants to see her suffer (lying)

She likes dark chocolate PROVE ME WRONG!!!'

She steals all of Nico's chocolate in revenge after he bothers her

(Nico holds a funeral for his chocolate, it is very sad)

Parisa

She uses Halloween as an opportunity to go to exclusive parties filled with the richest of guests and seduce them, both for chaos and money

Somehow has invitations to every gala and celebration

This becomes more difficult when the other Atlas Six (Nico) are intent on following her around like puppies (it's really just Nico) because they think they should all trick or treat together (Nico please, she's trying to be edgy and mysterious)

Reina

She is not doing anything for Halloween fuck off

Oh? Whose this?

Why it's Nico, of course! And what's this with him?

Oh! His big sad puppy dog eyes.

And his ability to chant please until she goes tricker-treating with him

Tristan

Slams the door in Nico's face

Locks the door

Bolts the door

Puts a chair in front of the door

He is not going to do something fun, he needs to brood

One explosion and a plastic set of vampire teeth later, Tristan is trudging behind Nico on this fantastic Halloween night.

Callum

@asimplesweettart said this Callum headcanon on the ta6 discord and I thought IT WAS PERFECT, so naturally I had to include it~

Nico comes to Callum's door, Callum opens it before he can knock

Oh, Nico wants to go tricker-treating? Why, of course, Callum will come, it sounds delightful.

No, he doesn't need a costume, he's already in one. Don't you see it?

No? Pity.

(Callum's costume was the clothes he wore the day that Tristan tried to kill him)

(He is pretending he is totally fine but he actually feels like he might throw up so hopefully Tristan will have the same reaction. Peak Halloween Festivity💖)

#callum nova #tristan caine #the atlas six #nico de varona #libby rhodes

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

#the atlas six #the atlas paradox #fandom rant #long post #jesus HOW MANY WORDS WAS THIS #this was long #parisa kamali #libby rhodes #nico de varona #reina mori #tristain caine #atlas blakely #callum nova #nicogideon #reina x parisa #tas #my faves #mine

[birgittesilverbae]

for the prompt! "here, hold my hand" + shannon mary

"Remind me again why I allowed you to talk me into this," Mary grumbles as she waddles across the rubber tiling towards the outdoor rink.

"I believe there was mention of spiked hot chocolate when we got home. And a massage." Shannon's sitting on the boards, drumming her heels against the panels and watching Mary's approach. Mary looks something of a penguin, with her poorly made yellow scarf (Lilith swore Libby picked the yarn out herself, but Shannon has her doubts) wrapped about her neck over her dark puffer jacket. She's pleased to see that, despite Mary's complaints about the matter, she's put on her helmet for the task.

Mary slumps against the boards beside her, hanging half over them and wheezing gently. "You mean you didn't spike the thermos? For shame, Shan. Have I taught you nothing?"

"I've still gotta drive home, darling." She pats Mary's back affectionately and slips down off the boards.

Mary groans. "How the hell do you make that look so easy?"

"Almost twenty years of practice."

"Right." She pushes herself back upright and rocks into Shannon's shoulder. "Must've slipped my mind."

"Of course, of course." Shannon opens the gate and steps out onto the ice, taking two sharp quick strides towards the centre of the rink before cutting back hard towards Mary. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired already," Mary admits with a rueful grin. "Am I supposed to feel this exhausted?"

"Lots of little muscles getting put to new uses when you put on skates. Your legs and back are probably gonna hurt for a couple days after this. Hence the promise of a massage."

"I let my girl hit because she says shit like 'hence'," Mary jokes. The flush that burns up Shannon's face must be extremely unsettling, because Mary backs off from the topic immediately. "You ready to teach me a thing or two, hotshot?"

"At least three things, actually." Shannon reaches for Mary. "Here, hold my hand. It can be tricky to get on the ice and stay upright."

Mary's hands clench tight around hers as she takes a first tentative step out onto the ice. She lurches forwards, and Shannon catches her around the waist with one arm. 

"Careful, darling!"

"Fuckin' slippery," Mary grumbles against the side of her neck, pressing a kiss to her pulse point before attempting to draw back. 

"It is ice, after all." Shannon keeps her hand curled in the hem of Mary's jacket and glides backwards, tugging Mary along with her. "Okay, what you want to do is turn your foot on an angle, dig in, and push."

"Easiest thing in the world, huh?"

"You'll get there, Mary."

//

Half an hour finds Mary completing a shaky half-lap, Shannon hovering protectively nearby. Forty-five minutes finds Mary settled up on the bench, back in her snow boots, watching Shannon circle the rink with great long strides, like she's floating as much as skating, flyaways whipping about her face with the speed of her movement.

An hour finds Shannon clambering over the boards to land in front of Mary, her cheeks pink with windburn. 

"Shoulda worn a scarf," Mary laughs, tugging at her own.

Shannon makes a face. "You know Lilith knitted that as a prank, right?"

Mary shrugs. "I'm pretty sure she hates it more than I do, so every time I wear it I get to both be warm and irritate her."

"Fair enough." Shannon tangles her fingers in one end of the scarf and tugs Mary forwards. "Wanna warm me up?"

"Always." Mary cups Shannon's face between her gloved palms and presses up on her toes to close the distance between them. Shannon wraps a careful arm around Mary's waist to keep her steady. "Kinda hot, you being this much taller than me."

"I'll make sure to wear skates more often, then." 

Mary kisses her, soft and wanting, a balm against the chill of the day, and Shannon thinks that this is maybe the all-around best afternoon off her life.

#ty for the prompt! #not stoked with the back half but brain is not going brr these days really so #ask #kchzndrvh #fic: dads #mary x shannon #myfic #mywn

[wardenparker]

You’re So Vain - Chapter 7

Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Oscar winning star Dieter Bravo’s reputation is suffering after the debacle of “Cliff Beasts 6″ and “Beasts of the Bubble”, so his management team has signed him on to a publicity stunt to find his soulmate and show the world a softer side of the erratic and unpredictable star. The plan quickly go awry, though, when Dieter’s soulmate wants nothing to do with him.      

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+! We finally made it! Word Count: 10.5k Warnings: *Blanket warning for chronic illness, cursing, and deceased family members. This is a Dieter fic, folks, so there absolutely will be discussions of drugs, drug use, and addiction.* Enemies to lovers, fake dating, alcohol consumption. This chapter is marked dub-con for drunk sex but *both* parties are fully into it. Drinking makes these two infinitely more honest with each other. Drunk sex, fingering, exhibitionism, biting, body shots, oral sex (f receiving), hair pulling, blink of a size kink, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, Dieter is a fucking menace and we love him.  Summary: Date number four is a celebrity birthday party, and with you and Dieter finally beginning to tolerate each other, things get much chummier than expected. Notes: WE FINALLY MADE IT. It is smut time! But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s smooth sailing from here. Please note that the dub-con tag in warnings is PURELY because both parties are drunk, not because of any coercion. They are both extremely, as the cool kids say, down to clown. 

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6

Dieter meant to talk to you. After the way that things were left, he had honestly planned to pick up his phone and text you. To ask how Nora was. Except that the next few days were busy. Costume fittings and sitting with hair and makeup as they cut his hair and experimented with his look for the film. It didn’t help that Steph texted him. Kept him in the loop on Nora, so he didn’t have the excuse to start a conversation. You had posted the picture of the two of you kissing in front of the castle - so he couldn’t even annoy you about that. And you hadn’t reached out to him. Three days of silence and he was completely overthinking why that was. Wondering if you were just playing nice until your contract with Libby is over. So he doesn’t text you.

It’s torture for you: all the wondering and the and the fear and the staring at your phone wondering if you said too much and pushed too hard and made yourself completely undesirable company in a whole opposite way by telling him all your tragic bullshit. Is that why he didn’t even check on Nora? Did you just imagine how much better you were getting along? Did you imagine that you were starting to actually give a shit about him? That he cared about your family?

It’s torture, and it’s even worse when Libby takes time out of her busy schedule to actually show up at your house with a stylist for this goddamn party instead of just sending you your outfit and bag via courier like normal. No, this Ned Allyn guy having this big blow out birthday party is apparently a really big deal, so you have to look Hollywood enough and that means she needs to see each dress on you to pick the right one. They’re all super short, skimpy, and nothing like you would wear otherwise, but Libby is never one to compromise.

Red, glittery fabric clings to your torso and you wonder how you’re supposed to walk in these heels, so sitting at the kitchen table and colouring with Nora while you wait to be picked up is the safest option. Steph is making their dinner for two and you swear to god dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with vegan mac and cheese has never sounded so good - who knows what they’ll be serving at this party besides enough booze to sink a ship.

******

Black on black. That’s what he’s wearing. The black suit is paired with a shirt that has a light print over the black material, making sure that there is not just monotony in his color scheme. Paired with a light pair of dress loafers and Libby had threatened to break his sunglasses if he wore them, so they had been left at the house. Even his hair is combed, and he wonders how you will react since it’s cut and his face has noticeably less hair on it than normal. Even wearing cologne since it’s supposed to be a party that is both fun and networking. Pulling up to your house, he sees Libby’s car is in the driveway and sighs, knowing he’s going to have to deal with her beyond the ten thousand texts she’s sent him over the past few days.

“Finally!” Libby jumps up from the table where she’s been sitting beside you, picking at your hairdo and talking your ear off about how to be a good Hollywood girlfriend, when the doorbell rings. She is the one who strides over to open it, smiling when she sees Dieter on the doorstep looking like a polished movie star. “She’s ready,” Libby tells him, stepping aside to let him in.

“Fuck Lib, she can get dressed by herself.” Dieter groans, knowing you are probably irritated after being put through a stylist. He hates when he has to spend hours with them before an awards ceremony and he’s pretty easy to style.

“Apparently not for tonight.” You have to be careful standing up because the dress is so short you could accidentally flash someone and you’re not great in heels, but you step out to the front door to say hello regardless. He looks…every inch a movie star in a luxurious black suit, and the way they’ve cut his hair for his next movie makes it curlier and seem thicker somehow, which makes you momentarily wonder what it would feel like to run your fingers through it. Nope. Get that thought out of your fuckin head right now.

Dieter’s eyes blow wide, trailing up and down your body slowly. He’s seen your skin, you were wearing shorts and a tank top at Disney, but there’s something about this that makes him want to pull you into his arms. “Wow.” He manages finally. “You— you look good.”

“I—um…thanks.” You’re not really sure what to say to it since you had no stake in how you look, but still you fluster a little and have to look away. “You do, too.”

“Exactly the reaction I was going for!” Libby nods, congratulating herself immediately as she snatches up her bag from the table beside the door. “Alright, you two. Please stay together tonight. If you do wander the party separately, don’t let it be for too long and…” she grins mischievously. “See if you can’t post another kiss? The response to the last one was phenomenal.”

“Lib.” Dieter huffs, not wanting you to think that you have to kiss him again. You haven’t talked to him, you haven’t even tried, so he doubts you want to kiss him again. Especially since he’s not sure if he wants to kiss you again, or never stop kissing you.

“Be good tonight, Dee.” She gives him a wink. “And try to have fun,” she adds to you before trotting out the door.

He rolls his eyes, wanting to remind her that his idea of fun is snorting something and he’s not going to be doing that. “Are you ready?” He asks, glancing around for Nora or Steph.

“Yeah, I just have to grab my purse.” Nodding toward the kitchen, you motion lamely with one hand. “Do you…uh, want to say hi? Steph’s making dinner and Nora’s coloring.”

“Yeah.” Dieter relaxes, grinning at the idea of seeing the little girl again. He follows you into the kitchen and smiles happily at the scene. “Hey squirt! How they hangin’?” He asks, chipper tone playful.

“Uncle Deedee!” Nora hops out of her chair and hits the ground with what can only be described as a slam, immediately running over to give him as big a hug as her little arms are capable of. “I knew you were coming! Auntie gets extra pretty to see you.”

“She does, does she?” Dieter chuckles and watches you fluster, even though he knows it’s because of Libby that you do. If you had your way, you would interact with him wearing a hazmat suit. “Heard you’ve been doing better kiddo.” He scoops her up and sets her on his lip, heedless of his expensive clothes. “Sorry I haven’t been by. I’ve been really busy and it’s annoying.” He rolls his eyes. “But your mom texted me to let me know you love the costume and you are doing good.”

“Uh huh!” Nothing in the universe could stop Nora from throwing her arms around her new favorite uncle and hugging him tight, and neither of them seem to notice when you carefully click into the kitchen with your forehead drawn to say goodbye to Steph. “You’ve been texting him?” You’re not mad, you realize as soon as the words are out of your mouth. But now at least you understand why he hasn’t talked to you. He had no reason to, if he was hearing about Nora from her mother.

“I just sent him a text the next day. With a picture of her in her costume.” Steph frowns, stepping closer to you. “I— did I overstep?” She asks you quietly, not liking the disappointment that she sees swimming in your eyes.

“No.” You shake your head and shrug, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Just…I wondered why I hadn’t heard from him, that’s all. I guess once he knew she was doing better that’s all he needed.”

“Ask him about the last few days.” Steph begs you. “He just texted me back ‘thanks’ and that’s been it. He’s probably been busy.” She reaches over and puts her hand on your arm. “Talk to him, don’t assume.”

“We’ll see.” Hugging her quickly, the last thing you want to admit is that you’re actually a little jealous that she got even one measly text from him when you got nothing at all. “I have no idea what time this thing will go until, but I promise I’ll get enough sleep to watch Nora tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it if you can’t.” Steph tells you. “The daycare promised that they will not ever give her anything that I don’t bring in again. The director will be feeding her.” They had been worried about Steph suing them after the last episode since her dietary restrictions were clearly listed.

“I promised her we’d go to the zoo so she can draw the funny horsies.” You smile, knowing Nora’s own personal sketchbook will be full of the most unrecognizable giraffe drawings in the world tomorrow. “Gnight, hun.” Once more hug and you’re back out to the front hall, where Nora is bopping Dieter’s nose and giggling like a maniac. It would be a genuinely sweet sight if not for the ugly self-doubt twisting in your belly right now. “Ready when you are,” you tell him quietly, with your purse now in hand.

“Okay.” Dieter mean mugs Nora playfully and crosses his eyes. “We gotta go, squirt.” He explains. “But as soon as I can, I’m gonna carve out some time to watch Toy Story with you, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay!” That makes her giggle happily as he sets her down again and you give her a quick, tight hug before she scrambles back to the kitchen to her mom.

“Is that something you’ll have time for?” The question is out of your mouth before you can stop yourself, even as you’re walking out the front door. “I mean, don’t you leave in a week?” Seven days, and somehow you’re supposed to stuff two more dates into that time frame. You still have no idea what Libby has planned - she wouldn’t say a word.

He’s angry for a split second, hearing the judgement in your tone. Instead of snapping at you, he sighs, guiding you over to the car since you are wearing heels. Pulling out his phone and opening it, he hands you it with his calendar open. “See what time works best. I’ll make it happen.”

That wasn’t the reaction you were expecting from him, and as he slides into the backseat beside you and signals for his driver to take off, you can see that not only does he have a jam-packed week ahead - but it looks like he’s barely had time to sleep over the last three days. Meetings, interviews, a photo shoot, and a thousand abbreviations you don’t understand are all set into his calendar with sometimes minutes to spare between them and it had never occurred to you for a second that he would be so busy. Being a movie star always seems so luxurious, but here is the evidence in front of you that it is sometimes the complete opposite. “Wow…” You shake your head at the screen. “You’ve been busy…”

“Yeah.” He huffs, rolling his eyes at his insane schedule as he leans forward and adjusts his jacket behind him so he doesn’t crush it too badly. “A day in the life sometimes. But it will taper off when I’m actually on set. I refuse to do much during the production unless it’s for that movie. Like behind the scenes stuff.”

“Not working this summer has kind of put a dent in my memory of what a work schedule is like, I guess.” His Tuesday night dinner time slot is empty on his calendar, and you tap it with your thumb before typing in Dinner and Toy Story and handing it back. “Taco Tuesday is a very serious occasion in our house. And that way Libby can’t schedule you for another dinner meeting. Just tell her you have plans with me.”

Dieter raises his brows at you. “Like how serious?” He demands. “If you tell me you don’t use crema or Cotija, I’m gonna disown the lot of you.” He jokes, sending you a small grind “Minus Squirt, because she can’t have it.”

“Serious like we make our own tortillas and I got my pork carnitas recipe from an abuela that lived in my apartment complex after I broke down and followed the smell to her door after smelling it every week for six months.” It’s awkward to find a comfortable way to sit in such a short dress, and you end up just stretching your legs out in front of you with a sigh. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who hates cilantro?”

“Fuck no.” Dieter snorts. “If your breath doesn’t smell like cilantro and onions after tacos, did you really eat them?” He asks with an amused chuckle. “One shoot, there was this taco truck a few streets over, I would get like fifty tacos every day for me and some of the crew. Best fucking munchie food.”

“When I was in grad school there was this place near campus that made the best every kind of taco. I mean anything you could ever want, they made.” The way you sigh at the memory is almost reverent. “I swear if I ever travel again, I’m just going to sit in that restaurant for an entire day and do nothing but eat tacos.”

“That sounds like a great vacation.” Dieter groans, imagining just that. “I love eating new things while I’m traveling.”

Traveling stopped being a possibility for you years ago with your salary being what it is and helping to take care of Shawn and then Nora, but you nod anyway. “If you’re ever near Gainesville, Florida, just ask anybody on the UFL campus where the best tacos are. You’ll thank me for it.”

He wants to offer to take you there. Just to see if these tacos are as good as you say, but he doesn’t. Instead, he nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The ride is mostly friendly, and you talk about Nora to keep it that way. She seems to be the ultimate middle ground between you that never causes a fight, so you don’t really mind it. It’s not until the car pulls into a gated community right on the coast that you blow out a long, soft breath. “So…this party is going to be on tv at some point?”

“No.” Dieter frowns and shrugs. “Maybe some videos from people’s phones, but this is private party.”

“Okay.” That means you misunderstood completely when Libby was explaining the guy’s reality show to you and honestly it’s a relief. Gossip websites are plenty for you to deal with. The thought of being on tv was terrifying. “That’s…that’s better. TV cameras would have scared the shit out of me, to be honest.”

Dieter chuckles and throws you a small smirk. “Yeah?” The idea is foreign to him but that’s okay. “I guess it’s so no one is filmed doing things that might be technically against the law.”

“Right.” There will probably be plenty of that tonight, and you can only assume that Dieter despises the fact that you’ll be with him because it keeps him from enjoying himself. His sobriety agreement is strictly between him and Libby, but after what he knows about your past, he fully understands that recreational drug use isn’t something you’ll ever willingly engage in again. “Well…you do whatever it is that you do at these things. I’ll stand nearby and keep smiling unless somebody talks to me.”

Dieter snorts and shakes his head. “Looking like that?” He asks, sneaking a glance at your legs. “You’ll be seduced into a bedroom if I turn my back for a second.”

"Not even a remote possibility." You can say that for sure, though you're not sure if his remark is also an accidental compliment of some kind. "I'm not a seduced by total strangers kind of girl."

“You don’t know that.” He teases. “Chris Evans is going to be there.”

“And I’m sure he will have a very pretty, very funny date.” There’s no possible way to actually tell him that you haven’t given a single thought to any other man since that goddamn kiss, so you just shrug as Dieter’s driver pulls up outside an enormous mansion already swarming with partygoers. “Maybe I’ll try to stand in the same room as him so I can tell Nora that I saw Captain America. But…I came here with you. So I’ll leave with you.” Unless he wants to sleep with someone else, in which case you’ll be calling this car back to get you in a heartbeat and probably snatching a bottle of tequila from the party to drink on the way home. God what an awful thought that is…

There’s a surge of pride in him, knowing that you’re going home with him, even if that’s not how you see it. “Good to know...” He murmurs softly, tapping his fingers in his leg to keep from touching you. The door opens and Dieter grins. “Party time.”

It is…overwhelming. To say the least. The enormous mansion and seemingly endless sea of guests is ready to swallow Dieter whole the second he gets out of the car. People can’t resist saying hello, reaching for hugs, and telling him how great he looks, and you can’t say you disagree. The problem is that they’re already about to separate the two of you right from the get-go and you won’t know what the fuck to do if you lose him in there. Text him? Sure. But who’s to say he’ll notice?

Dieter greets people, some friends, others just casual acquaintances. Feeling his energy being buoyed by the presence of others. Always enjoying those that work in the arts. He feels your hand on his shoulder slip away and turns to see that you are being moved away. Not rudely or on purpose, but Dieter doesn’t like it. “Hey! Come greet my soulmate!” He moves past to reach you again and slips his arm around your waist, anchoring you to him.

In a moment of gratitude, you just cling to him. He’s different like this - energized and almost sunny in a way you haven’t seen from him in person before. With his arm around your waist, you twine your own around his shoulder, leaning into him sideways so that no one can get between you without a whole lot of effort. “Thanks,” you murmur close to his ear, giving his shoulder a squeeze before you put your free hand out to greet the few people who care to say hello. A few kiss your cheek and a few others laugh incoherently about some joke you don’t know, but Dieter’s hand stays on your waist the whole time.

He has a reputation as a philander, as a man who flits from liaison to liaison, they couldn’t be called relationships because they didn’t last long, but Dieter tries to make sure that his partners have fun with him. This extends to you tonight. Putting aside everything and remembering that you wouldn’t be interested in any of the party favors, he plies you with champagne, making sure that your glass is never halfway empty until you decide you want to drink something else.

“You…you just…you just go to parties like this? All the time?” After more champagne than you can keep track of and definitely not enough food, you’re giggly and excitable and whispering loudly beside Dieter next to one of the multiple pools on this enormous property. “This is like what parties are like in movies.”

Dieter grins, liking this version of you. You’re relaxed and he thinks he might have seen you smile more tonight than all the other times with him combined. “Yeah.” He bobbles his head enthusiastically, having kept up with you drink for drink. “Makes sense cause all the movie stars are here.” He teases and throws you a wildly exaggerated wink.

“Shuddup.” Warm and fuzzy and just loose enough from all the bubbly to be silly, you stick your tongue out at him and scrunch up your face like that somehow makes it mean more. “I’m just a civilian, Deedee. It’s all fancy here. They’re gonna know I don’t beloooong.”

“You do belong.” He huffs, frowning at you with the biggest pout. “You— you’re here with meeeee, to start.” He holds up one finger with a snort. “And you l-look like a sexy little starlet in that dress.” He triumphantly takes away the one finger and acts like it explains it all.

The raspberry you blow at him is loud, but no one pays you a second of extra attention, too engrossed in their own conversations. “Just cause it’s red,” you huff, finishing the last of the champagne in your glass. “Lib said you loooove red.” The compliments that his manager had paid you while you were getting ready were numerous, but at the time you hadn’t paid them much attention.

“You do look good.” He’s mortally offended you don’t believe him, biting his lip and shaking his head. “You could have any guy you wanted here tonight.” He insists. “Girl too.”

“Pfffft.” After shaking your head for a second too long, you get dizzy and have to cling to him on the lounge chair you’re sharing. “Don’t want any of them,” you mumble, only vaguely conscious of the fact that you have no filter as you inhale the scent of his cologne.

“What do you want?” He leans back in the chair and feels his alcoholic buzz make the world tilt slightly, so he opens his eyes.

“What everybody wants.” When he leans away you almost instinctively go with him, still leaning on his shoulder. “To be wanted.”

“True.” Dieter blows out a sigh. “I’ve forgotten what that feels like.” He hums drunkenly, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer, nearly pulling you into his lap.

“Me too.” This close to him, it’s like everything else - the house, the people, the party - dissolves and it’s just you and him. Which is a feeling you honestly never thought you would have in your entire life, and it makes you feel soft around the fuzzy, liquored edges. “‘Xcept…‘cept for when you kissed me…” You mumble, focused on watching his lips more than any other part of him. “And I could pretend you did…”

“Shocked me.” Dieter mumbles, remembering how good it had felt. “Hated it.” He confesses. “Knowing you w-would never want that.”

A lightning bolt of shock couples with a groan of aggravation, and you end of fixing him with an unintentionally plaintive expression while you’re halfway sitting in his lap. “Then you shouldn’t have hated it,” you tell him, slightly slurred words all the more honest for all the champagne that smeared them. “You think I would still be so mad if I didn’t still like you?” It is definitely the first time you have ever admitted it out loud, with the inevitable embarrassment far from your thoughts at the moment. Only a hopeful flip in your stomach that has nothing to do with the liquor and everything to do with the way he’s looking at you right now.

Dieter has an answer, somewhere rattling around in his brain. Quirky and hilarious, but he can’t think of it with your big, glassy eyes on him. Hopefully filled with the desire that has him moving. Lunging forward and eagerly pressing his lips to yours like he’s been granting a wish. He swallows up your squeak easily, the sound of surprise overruled by the crushing pressure of his lips against yours and the humming satisfaction buzzing all through your body. Your arms tighten around him, holding him as close as you can and praying to whatever is out there that this isn’t a dream that your tipsy brain conjured up in your bed or the back of his car after having too much to drink. Just hoping that this is real. That your soulmate might actually want you, too.

That spark, that pull deep in his belly, is back when his lips are against yours. Making him groan quietly and grip the back of your neck, pressing you harder against him as his tongue slides against the seam of your lips to beg for entrance. Amazed that he is kissing you again and wanting to keep doing it forever.

If the first kiss shared between you was all shock and tension the way you hadn’t been able to believe how good it felt, this second is like the snapping of all the tightly coiled wanting that you had not been willing to acknowledge that day. A messy, enthusiastic declaration of desire that has both of you grasping at each other like you’re trying to get under the other’s skin. You open up for him instantly, moaning a little more loudly than could be considered soft but not caring for a single second.

Dieter shudders, drunk on the taste the champagne from your mouth and the canapés that you should have probably eaten more of. He’s not thinking about the past right now. Otherwise his hands never would have slid down your back and squeezed your ass like they did, nearly pulling the short fabric up over your curves in his eagerness.

That earns him another squeak from you and a giggle as you shift in his lap to get as close to him as humanly possible. It might be your imagination, but his hands feel huge now that they’re on you, and the thought of what they might feel like elsewhere is immediate.

“Fuck.” Dieter curses against your lips, eyes closed, and he starts to scatter kisses along your neck after ducking his head down. “Feel so good baby.” He slurs slightly, but he is already hard underneath you. The length of the dress keeps you from straddling you, but his legs are spread wide, and you are slotted between them, his cock pressing against your mound.

All you can do at first is whimper, the small sound breaking through as you try in vain to get your breath back from where he had stolen it away. “So good,” you agree wholeheartedly, gasping when his teeth nip at the sensitive skin of your neck. “‘S unbelievable.”

He keens when you writhe against him, grinding on his cock. Doesn’t even remember the last time he got laid, but he wants you more than he’s ever wanted anyone. “Let me— fuck, let’s go home.” He pants out, rocking your ass up and harder against him. “Want to see what’s under this dress.”

The devious smirk on your face when you finally process the comment is so lecherous that you make yourself squirm, panting openly as your eyes find his. “Not much,” you tell him honestly, loving the way you can feel him twitch in his pants in response.

“Fuck.” He whines, pouting instantly and look at you with needy, pleading gaze. “Do you want to have sex with me?” He asks breathlessly, wanting nothing more than that in his present state.

“Get the fucking car, Dee.” Pressing into his space again, you crush your lips to his quickly before pulling away again, nodding eagerly. “I can’t guarantee I won’t fuck you in the car if the drive takes too long.”

“Yes ma’am.” His eyes blow wide at the idea and he’s wearing a nearly giddy grin. Stumbling to his feet and bobbling slightly before he reaches for you. “Come on - we’re blowing this popsicle stand.” He declares loudly, making a few people turn their heads. “I’m getting laid!”

The smattering of cheers and applause has you burrowing into his side as the two of you stumble inelegantly back into the house to find your way downstairs. He has his phone out in one hand, summoning whatever member of his security staff is working tonight, while the other arm is wrapped so tightly around you that you might as well be wearing him as clothing.

Both of you are standing in front of the house, slightly swaying together and he clings to you and you to him. “Want to—” Dieter grunts and blinks rapidly as his vision blurs. “Wanna make out in the car?” He asks.

“Duh.” You snort, giggling in bubbly amusement as the car you vaguely recognize as his pulls up to the curb. “You’re fun to kiss.”

“Mr. Bravo.”

Dieter swings his head around when he hears his name, grinning at the driver. “RICO!” He giggles as he tugs you along with him. “Don’t look in the rear-view mirror, ‘kay?”

“Sure, Mr. Bravo.” Rico cracks a grin, always glad to see his boss happy, and opens the back door for the two of you to climb in. “Straight home, I’m guessing?”

“Quickly.” This time when you are climbing into the car, Dieter slaps your ass with a giggle.

“C’mere.” You practically tug him in after you, giggling just as jubilantly when Dieter huffs and squawks before landing on the seat beside you with an oof and a broad grin. Rico is still rounding the front of the car when you pout about seatbelts keeping you too far apart and buckle yourself into the center of the backseat to be closer to Dieter.

“Fuck, I want to bite you.” Dieter growls, lunging for you and grabbing your thigh, twisted in his seat. “Just fucking eat you up.”

Even as the car glides forward you slide a little in your seat, trying to get into his lap but failing because of the seatbelt. “Do it.” The thought of being marked - regardless of whether or not there is a physical bite mark visible, he still did it - makes you squirm.

“Fuck the seatbelts.” Dieter pushes the button, aware that Rico will be careful, and he rides without them all the time back here. He drags you into his lap, growling playfully at your squeal and immediately burrowing his face into your neck, teeth digging into your skin while he shoves his hand under your dress.

“Fuuuck.” Completely unconcerned with anything else in the world right now, the way he’s attacking your skin and grasping at your entire body is making you wetter than you have been in years. The slickness so eagerly dampening the tiny set of silk shorts under your dress just pours out of you in waves that you couldn’t control even if you wanted to. As it is, though, you’re more than happy to let him explore your legs and hips with those overlarge hands, feeling like he’s touching all of you at once and never letting you breathe between deep kisses and the seemingly incorrigible amount of bites he’s leaving along your neck.

“Fuck.” Dieter strokes the material and hooks a finger under the material to touch the slick skin underneath. “Hot, you’re so fucking hot, baby.”

His hand is between your legs - something you vaguely register as having considered impossible before - makes you moan so unrepentantly that the people in the next car over can hear you. Not that they can see through the tinted windows, but it is loud. “Can’t even fuck — fuckin remember,” you mumble between kisses. “Last time anybody touched me — shit.”

“Fucking shame.” Dieter groans, shaking his head as he bites your collar bone. His fingers slide down and presses against your entrance but doesn’t push inside. “You fucking look so good like this.”

The shallow, shaky moan on your lips is enough to have Rico practicing very controlled breathing and forcibly thinking extremely pure thoughts up front, but you’re blissfully unaware as you shift in Dieter’s lap on the drive. “Gonna look even better all spread out,” you hum, squirming to try to get him to touch you even a little bit more.

“Jesus yes.” Dieter’s tongue slides along your shoulder and because you didn’t pull away, he starts to push two fingers inside you. Moaning at how hot and tight you are. “Fuck.”

“Jesus — oh my god—” You really had forgotten how much better it feels to have any part of a person inside you than your toys, and you toss your head back and moan at the feeling of being filled up even a little. “Fuck yes.”

Dieter hisses and his cock throbs in his pants. Curling his fingers up and watching your throat move while he searches for the spot that makes you squeal. It’s always so much fun when he finds that. “Look at you.”

“Feels so fucking good.” At this point you basically just wish you could sprawl out on top of him but being in the backseat of a car definitely prevents that. Instead you find yourself canting your hips toward his hand to beg for more while you try to remember what the hell his neighborhood looks like out the window through a haze of champagne and pleasure. Have you ever actually been to his house? Would you even know what to recognize? None of it seems to matter, just as long as he doesn’t stop.

Dieter can’t think of anything but you. The sweet tightness of your cunt around his fingers with the moans that are filling the backseat has him ready to just fuck you right here. But he can’t. That much he knows, or at least he thinks he does. Needs to get you into his house. Maybe his pool. “Want you to cum.” Dieter murmurs, pumping his fingers as fast as he can without losing rhythm.

It’s like he’s halfway in between giving you permission and begging you to bestow a gift on him, but either way when the floodgates open your whole body is wracked with it. Turning your head to pour what you know will be a very loud moan into kissing him instead of letting it roar, the full force of cumming on his fingers has you nearly blanking out to the world around you. Anything outside of you, him, and the literal flood of pleasure threatening to drip down to his watch just doesn’t exist anymore.

Dieter pants against your mouth, groaning when he feels how wet you get. “Fuckin’ beautiful.” He murmurs, lost in the haze of the booze and how easily you respond to his touch.

Rico clears his throat. “We are home, sir.”

You nearly lose your senses, giggling in wild embarrassment because you had completely forgotten anyone else was even with you. For all you cared, it was the champagne bubbles floating you home. Untangling yourself from Dieter and climbing out of his lap is about the most uncoordinated you have ever been in your life but it feels like you did a great job, even if you do hate that he had to take his fingers out of your dripping pussy in order for you to move.

Dieter stumbles out of the back, grinning as he slips his fingers into his mouth and moans at your taste. Making a theatrical production of sucking your juices off and licking every drop from skin. “Don’t— uh, don’t come into the bedroom.” He warns Rico, snickering and winking at him. “I’m gonna be balls deep in like t-two minutes.”

“Enjoy your night.” It’s always what Rico says whenever his boss has a guest for the night, and he will definitely be playing some music downstairs while he whiles away the nighttime hours.

“Oh, we’re gonna.” You grin, snagging Dieter’s other hand and tugging him toward the front door only to stop short a second later. “Yer house is biiig.”

“That’s what she said.” Dieter snorts, tugging you closer. “C’mon, wanna show you the bed. Or the hot tub.” He waggles his brows and leers playfully, ready to strip you down.

“Take me to bed, Dee.” Batting your eyelashes prettily - and making the world spin a little in the process - you lean hard on the fact that he admitted earlier in the night that he likes when you use his nickname and lean in to steal a kiss at his front door.

Dieter growls and chuckles, barreling through the door in his haste to get you where he wants you. “Kick your shoes off.” He huffs, doing the same with his own and racing for the stairs as fast as his drunken gait will allow.

The heels that Libby strapped you into take work to get out of and you definitely might have broken one of the buckles trying to get them the hell off, but you follow him up the stairs with that same disjointed walk of someone who would definitely not pass a breathalyzer in a million years. You’ll have to get a better look at his house another time, because right now all you’re doing is blatantly watching his ass as he walks just a step or two ahead of you.

“Want another drink?” Dieter spins around at the top of the stairs. “Or do you want something else?” He would offer drugs, there’s a few stashes he had around the house that Libby hadn’t found. But he wouldn’t because it’s you and he knows you wouldn’t appreciate the offer.

“Drink is good.” The other stuff just holds no appeal for you, whereas you could go on feeling fuzzy and free like this for ages.

“Wine? Vodka - no I drank all the vodka, uh, rum? Or water?” He squints and looks up at the ceiling as he tries to remember what all he has.

“Just pour two of something.” It doesn’t really matter what it is, just as long as he’s still touching you somehow while you share that drink.

There is a bar cart in his bedroom. Maybe it speaks to bad habits, but there are times when it comes in handy. Like when he wants to pour some liquor on a partner and lick it off. “Okay.” He carelessly pushes the door open and waves his hand around. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Jeeeeez…” Looking around his room as you walk in behind him, you let out a low whistle at the sheer size of the place. On one wall there is a series of large and small paintings all signed with the same signature - his - that you will want to study at length some other time. Right now your only real concern is getting him out of that suit, and since just thinking about it makes you grin, you plop right down on the edge of his soft bed and pull your legs up under you.

Dieter moves over to the bar cart and snatches up the bottle of rum he had promised and pulls off the cork, turning around and grinning when he finds you already on his bed. “That’s where I want you.” He hums as he tips the bottle up. “Bet this would taste great between your pussy lips.”

It’s not something you’ve ever done before, and the wolfish look on his face makes you nod with eager anticipation. “Only one way to find out.”

Dieter chuckles, trying to swagger over to you but trips on the rug and nearly goes sprawling into the floor before he catches himself. “Fuck.” He huffs, looking offended at the carpet before looking back at you. “Did you see that? Almost embarrassed myself.”

“Watch out for attack rugs,” you nod like it’s the wisest thing you’ve ever said, just watching him step closer and closer to where you’re waiting. “They’re mean.”

Dieter nods seriously. “They are mean, I don’t like mean.” He sends you a pout before he completely changes tactics. “But I like you spread out in my bed.” He coos, coming closer now that the evil rug has been defeated.

“Yeah?” A breathless giggle of anticipation has you rocking slightly in place. Or maybe that’s all the champagne keeping you at a steady sway, you can’t tell at all. Either way you look past him at the wall of art before refocusing. “Should paint me one day.”

“Hmmm.” Dieter crawls up on the bed. “With clothes or naked?” He demands, putting the bottle to the side and grabbing your ankle to tug you closer.

“Both.” As soon as he’s close enough, your fingers are already fumbling for the buttons on his shirt. “Used to dream ‘bout it.”

His cock twitches and he grins down at you. “Thought you didn’t know I painted?” He asks, even as he works to find the zipper of your dress. “Fuck, how do I get you out of this?” He hisses, not finding anything to unzip or unbutton.

“Just pull.” That earns him another giggle, since getting the damn dress off you is a lot easier than he was making it out to be. “I paint,” you remind him, captivating by watching his hands skate across your skin. “Wanted to be your muse.”

Dieter shudders, tracing your curves and greedily grabbing at them. His inebriated state making him slightly clumsy as he fumbles with the strapless bra. “Come off.” He hisses, glaring at it. “Want to see the titties.” It takes both of you, and definitely more time than it should, but eventually your bra hits the ground beside the rumpled ball of fabric that was your dress. “Titties!” Dieter crows in delight and wastes no time in burying his face between them while cupping them closer. “Fuck.” He muffles against your skin before his tongue comes out to glide along your sternum.

“Likes titties. Check.” Intoning it like the most important checklist in the world, you let out a half-moan at the feeling of his tongue on your skin. “Fuck.”

“Love ‘em.” Dieter turns his head and sucks one nipple into his mouth, biting down on it gently before soothing it with his tongue. Looking up at you with big eyes, he finds your tilting your head back in pleasure.

“Don’t stop.” It’s been forever since anyone has actually touched you and the feeling is as intoxicating as any liquor. All you want is more.

“Neferrr.” Dieter promises, your nipple still in his mouth. Letting go of one breast, he slides his hand down to cup your pussy over your panties.

“Shit.” Just like before, your hips seek more from his hand immediately, this time bucking up toward his palm. Even having cum once, you never want the sensation to end.

Dieter strokes you over the panties, teasing you with his fingers. “So good.” He tells you after he pulls off your tit with a pop.

“You’re not naked.” The complaint comes with a pout, which you aim at him despite the gasping sigh that comes when he presses his fingers over your swollen clit, making you throb and ache gorgeously.

Chuckling, he pulls away and stumbles off the bed. “Eager— I like it.” He waggles his brows and starts to throw off his clothes in careless abandon.

“Gotta be fair,” you contest, slipping both thumbs into the sides of your panties to slide them off and chuck them into the growing pile of rejected clothing. After working so hard to keep your soulmate’s marks a secret for more than ten years, it feels strange and extremely intimate to actually bare yourself to him like this. Thank god the cloud of alcohol in both of your minds isn’t letting either of you dwell on anything but how good you feel and how much you want each other in this moment.

Dieter has managed to strip down to his boxers. “Look at you.” His eyes blow wide and practically pants at the sight of you naked.

“Or you could fuck me.” You smirk, shifting back on his bed to make room for him to climb in beside you.

Dieter quickly strips off his boxers, cock bouncing as he steps out of them and kicks them to the side. “Oh, I’m gonna fuck you.” He promises, climbing back into the bed and grabbing the rum bottle. “Right after I drink from your cunt.”

Your utter lack of inhibitions at the moment have you reaching for him, the fingers of one hand wrapping themselves around his impressive length. He’s too close and too tantalizing not to touch and he’s so pretty like this - looking wrecked when you’ve barely even touched him. “Fucking hell, where do you hide this thing?”

Dieter’s grin is open mouth, moaning when you squeeze him. “I— ugh, there’s a reason— reason I wear baggy pants.” He groans. “Plus I’m a grower.” He huffs.

“Never gonna give you shit about your pants again.” You swear, leaning over and kitten licking the purple tip of his cock where precum has beaded so beautifully just waiting for you to enjoy it.

“Shit.” He hisses, jerking his hips back and flattening his hand on your sternum to push you back. “Don’t— it’s been too long since I’ve had a mouth on my cock.” He explains as he opens the rum bottle and takes a long drink before he hands you the bottle and smirks, moving down and dribbling some on your cunt before he winks and starts lapping it up.

Just like that all thought has evaporated from your mind again, as you fall back in the mountain of pillows on his bed and reach down to card your fingers through his curls. “Fucking yes, Dee, oh my god.” That smart mouth of his and quick tongue were made for eating pussy, apparently, and it is an amazing revelation.

Dieter loves it. Groans and messily sliding his tongue through your folds and circling it around your clit before he flicks it boldly. Pulling away and holding his hand out for the bottle. “Another.” He demands, eyes dancing with wicked delight.

“Whatever you want, just keep doing that.” It could be an order or it could be begging, and you don’t really care which as you quickly hand him the bottle after another swig for yourself.

“Yes ma’am.” His chuckle is loose, slurred slightly, and he turns the bottle up with another large mouthful of the flavorful rum before he leans back over your cunt. Swallowing most before letting another little stream of the alcohol bathe your pussy lips as he groans and dives back in.

The delightful surprise that Dieter loves to have his hair pulled comes with all of the most gorgeous grunts and groans in the universe. He’s messy but you couldn’t give less of a shit, too lost in how good it feels to care much about technique. All that matters is that he never, ever stops.

He laps and licks, sucks and strokes your cunt. Never satisfied with the moan or whimper that pours from your lips, determine to hear more. His world spinning as he devours your cunt and he’s not quite sure that it’s the alcohol causing it. Curses and praises and moans and whimpers and who the hell knows what other kind of sounds are pouring from your lips, spurring him on. When your thighs start to tremble around his ears you’re fairly certain you’ve reached shouting volume levels but that could not fucking matter less. Being a half a breath away from cumming on his tongue is everything, even if you never ever thought it could happen until right now.

Dieter can feel that you are close. Curling his tongue around your clit, he sucks on it like he’s trying to quick dissolve a pill for a faster high. Gripping your hips and closing his eyes in pleasure when he feels your body instantly seize up.

“Fuck, fuck — oh my god!” The world spinning around you is absolutely not because of all that champagne this time, as Dieter hungrily laps up every drop of pleasure he can wring out of you. The feeling of floating only seems to increase, taking you up and up so that the deep bend of your back arching off the bed feels more like flying than anything else.

He hums, smirking at you as he props his chin up on your mound when you finally start to relax bonelessly into the bed. “Good?” He huffs, wanting the praise.

“So good, baby.” Raspy though your voice is, it’s nearly a coo. “No wonder you’re always smirking.” You laugh, panting as you try to find your breath again. The fingers that had been tugging at his hair are limp now, like the rest of you. “You’re hung like a fucking horse and eat pussy like you’re drowning.”

Chuckling, Dieter plants wet, sloppy kisses up your body before finally kissing your lips. “You like that, huh?” He teases, nipping your lip and smirking again.

“Mmm.” A greedy hum against him lips as your hands grasp his flesh - soft middle a tantalizing juxtaposition against his strong limbs. “Maybe a little,” you tease right back.

Lips connect with yours again and again, grunting happily as he lowers himself on top of you and grinds against your belly. “Can I fuck you?” He asks breathlessly, licking the shell of your ear.

“God, yes.” If he doesn’t, you’re about ten seconds from flipping him over and taking the reins, because apparently tonight - the more orgasms you have, the hornier you get.

“Thank fuck.” He huffs, nearly giddy with relief and he giggles against your neck before he straightens and wraps his hand around his cock and pumping it.

“‘S been a while.” You barely get the thought out before he’s nudging the head of his cock against your entrance with that lopsided grin on his face.

“‘S’okay.” He promises, his mouth falling open when he pushes the head inside you. “Oh fuck, baby.” He moans. “I-I’ll go slow.”

The only sounds in the room for a long moment are your shared groan and the wet press of two bodies fitting together. The way your heart is beating out of your chest is nothing compared to the way your body is singing everywhere he touches you, and for just a second you swear nothing in the world has ever felt this good - though that could be the decade of near-celibacy talking. Right now, everything is so fucking good, and as you adjust to having Dieter fully sheathed inside your body, you might even say it’s perfect.

He pushes his arms up under you, pulling you close and burying his head into your neck while he waits for you to tell him that he can move. Panting and clearing his eyes against the pleasure of your tight walls squeezing him tight.

“Dee—” His name is no more than a whine. “Need you to move, baby, please.”

“Yesssssss.” His first few strokes are slow, gentle. Making sure you aren’t tensing up or showing signs of pain. Groaning when you hook your leg around his thigh and urge him on.

He’s almost tender, and the juxtaposition of that gentleness with the feeling of him practically splitting you open is fucking amazing. Meeting every thrust with your own grasping walls and rolling hips, you’re sure he’s enjoying the absolute reverence in the way his name falls repeatedly from your lips. All he can think of is you, filling you up. The way your walls drag against his cock and push him closer to cumming with every soul searing thrust. Head swimming with pleasure and alcohol. Groaning your name when he bottoms out again and has to stop for just a second before he cums. Turning his head to press his lips to yours while he calms down before he starts moving again.

If you had a little more presence of mind you might have noticed how perilously close to lovemaking this encounter has become. How instead of a rough and demanding race toward orgasm in has become about being as close to each other as you possibly can be without letting go for even a second. Every kiss is just a little bit desperate and every breathless pant just a little more reverent than a random post-party fuck would imply.

Dieter reaches down and pulls your leg up higher, changing the angle and grinding deep into you. "Fuck, want you to cum for me." He groans, eyes flickering down between you where your lips are stretched around him. "Look at that. Look at your pussy taking me."

“So goddamn deep.” The change in angles makes it feel like he’s grinding all the way into your chest cavity. The fingers that had been tangled in his sheets now skate rhythmically over your clit, the slick and swollen nub screaming for that extra attention as a way to bring you over the edge all over again.

"Y-you gonna cum?" Dieter huffs, needing you to cum for him before he gives in. Staring deep into your eyes and biting his lip when he surges deep again.

“Close.” With your back arching off the bed it’s like you’re unintentionally offering him the most gorgeous possible view of your tits and you barely notice. Too lost in the sensations to care. “Fuck, take what you need, baby. I’m so fucking close.”

Dieter groans, his pace faltering slightly but he quickly tries to find it again. Reaching out and pinching a nipple. “Cum for me.” He rasps out.

Though you’re not always the most into following orders, this is one command that you’re absolutely dying to obey. The sharp, strangled cry of his name barely makes it out of your throat before your whole body clamps down on his in every way, bringing you back to that shivering, quivering mess you’ve been for him all night.

Gasping, in one brief moment of clarity, Dieter remembers that you didn’t talk about birth control. Giving one more half thrust before he’s ripping himself free of your cunt, cock twitching and spurting, painting your stomach with his seed as he groans your name loudly.

“Oh my god….” The deeply satisfied groan that bubbles up from the bottom of your throat becomes a heady sigh as you reach for him, needing that gorgeous feeling of his lips on yours after one more searing orgasm.

Groaning, he willingly kisses you, smiling against your lips and giggly with how good he feels. “That was— was great.” He murmurs, soft and relaxed now. High off endorphins.

“Mmmm.” Disagreeing would be a big fucking lie, and you’re still just buzzy enough from endorphins and bubbly to be honest. “We should do that more.”

“Hmmmm.” The rum bottle thankfully has the cork back in it so it didn’t spill everywhere, but his foot brushes against it, making him lift his head up so he can stare down at it for a moment and wonder how it got there. “Yep.”

The fading adrenaline rush makes you yawn, and you giggle at the silly sound of it as you stretch out in his bed. “Sleepy.” You announce with an indulgent grin, feeling so good you might already be dreaming.

He is used to passing out, nodding and reaching over to clap, turning off the light. It was stupid, but he loved his clapper for times such as these. “Night.”

“Night.” Without a single thought to cleaning up or even glancing at the time, you snuggle down under the sheets as easily as if you were in your own bed.

Dieter curls himself around you, not minding the mess, and buries his face against the back of your neck. Closing his eyes and immediately falling into the deep sleep of the satisfied and drunk.

****** The angry sound of your alarm cuts through your heavy sleep, rudely catapulting you out of your dreams and back into the reality of morning. It would be bad enough if you were only being woken up, but as consciousness creeps in, so does a pounding headache and upset stomach. Before you’ve even opened your eyes your body is ready to declare war on itself and you honestly can’t even think to remember the last time you were this hungover. Everything hurts and the sunlight creeping in the windows is already too bright even with your eyes closed. That blaring noise is going to be what kills you though - is it really blaring or are you just so hungover that it feels like it? Who knows.

Shoving your blankets back, you sit up on the edge of your bed and realize immediately that something is wrong. Besides your head spinning, your feet have landed on a plush rug…but you have hard wood flooring in your bedroom. Where the fuck—?

A second later you’re peeling your eyes open to the realization that you are not in your own room - and it’s only as you look around you that you realize you can hear snoring behind you. Like an awkward, slow-motion reveal in a bad romantic comedy, you force yourself to turn around only to find Dieter curled up in a ball amongst luxurious white blankets. You’re naked. In Dieter Bravo’s bed. With the worst hangover of your life. And is that…there’s dried fucking cum all along the insides of your thighs and in streaks on your torso. How the fuck did this happen??

First thing to do is locate your phone and stop the awful beeping. Following the sound, you spot your purse on the edge of his dresser across the room and manage to stumble over to shut it off. 8am. Zoo Day! says the banner on your phone and you groan out loud, which only makes your stomach turn again. You promised to take Nora to the zoo today and she’s been so excited to see the giraffes that you cannot possibly postpone the trip on account of Auntie Gigi being a dumbass.

“Dieter.” His name comes out in a rasp and for a brief, horrifying moment you wonder if it’s from making a lot of noise last night, because you definitely had sex. That is not up for debate. “Dieter.” Not a single millimeter of movement from the man in the bed and you groan because of course he can sleep through anything when you actually need him to wake up. “Dieter.” At the side of the bed this time, you nudge and nudge him, actually trying to shake him awake, but to no avail. He’s dead to the world and you might actually be concerned something is wrong except he’s snoring away with a smile on his face. “Dieter, please wake up!” As loud as you can be, which is not very loud, he’s still fast asleep. You’re going to have to leave without talking to him. This is going to be awful.

There’s a pile of clothes on the floor - his and yours - and you wonder if you were having fun with him for once. God you wish you could remember if you were having fun. You must have, right? Panties. Bra. Dress. Getting your clothes on again there is no sign of your shoes, but you do spot his sketchbook on the side of what looks like it must be his desk. Fuck - are you really going to just have to leave him a note?

You sigh, reaching for one of his sketching pencils, and try not to throw up. Dieter— I have to go home to watch Nora today. If she doesn’t see the giraffes, she’ll be sad. Hangover from hell. We should talk? Signed with your name, it’s the best you can do at the moment and you blow out another sigh.

His house is fucking huge, and it’s impossible to find your way through it while simultaneously trying to call an Uber from your phone, but you have to get home. Steph is supposed to leave for work in less than an hour and it will take longer than that to get home. Fuck fuck fuck. Does he live in a fucking labyrinth? How the hell do you get out of this house?

Rico appears, smothering the amusement at the wild hair, although the frantic expression on your face concerns him slightly. It’s obvious you are looking for a way out. “Do you need a ride?” He asks, glancing behind you to the closed door where his boss is still sleeping from the sound of light snoring.

“I have to get home.” Your voice sounds like you got hit by a freight train, and you nod which makes your head pound. “You’re…Rico? Right?” He’s driven Dieter a couple of times before and been to your house. Steph said some nice things about him, if your spotty memory serves.

Rico nods. It’s not his place to question the emotional entanglements of his boss or his soulmate. His job was to provide security and transportation. He had given plenty of ‘ride of shame’ rides to Dieter’s liaisons. “I will take you there.” He tells you, holding out the bottle of water and the aspirin for you to take. He had been about to deliver it to the bathroom via the upstairs laundry room that connected to the master suite.

“Thank you.” For a split second you have to imagine how many times this man has done this before if he’s so fucking prepared for it, but that is a rabbit hole you can’t let yourself fall down. “You wouldn’t…uh…maybe have seen a pair of high heels anywhere?” They weren’t in the bedroom that you could find and you’re almost certain you were wearing them when you were at the party.

“They are by the door, miss.” Rico gives a small smile, remembering the yelled conversation between the two of you as you made your way upstairs. “Mr. Bravo was concerned about the stairs.” He explains.

“Oh.” Nodding hurts, but it’s your reflex reaction so you end up wincing. “I…um…I don’t remember much,” you admit, realizing this man probably knows a fuckton more than you about what happened last night. “Hangover.”

That makes Rico nervous. Because of the slightly tumultuous relationship you have with his boss, and he is fully aware of the repercussions if you felt taken advantage of. “Both of you were very relaxed.” He acknowledges. “And eager to continue your night upstairs.”

“I’m sorry if anything made you uncomfortable.” He was the one you drove you last night, you remember him picking you up from the house, and that means he must have picked you up from the party, too. Groaning slightly at the way it makes your stomach slosh, you pop a couple of pain killers in your mouth and wash it down with some water before handing the pill bottle back. “I’m sorry, I just really need to get home.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Rico guides you towards the stairs and hovers behind you to make sure you don’t lose your balance. “I am the soul of discretion.”

 ______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat​ @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri    

YSV: @tortor-mcgee @hnt-escape​ @sammus-white​ @spanishmossmagnolia  @frasmotic  

My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Dieter Bravo #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x female reader #The Bubble #soulmate au #enemies to lovers #fake dating #Trash Can Man #IT IS FINALLY SMUT TIME

[stillsolo]

* OPTIONAL ELABORATIONS :

SONG: i have several 'theme songs' for han, but this has to be my favorite. the second i heard this on the radio all those years ago, i knew it was perfect for han!

the s.truts - could have been me: don't wanna live as an untold story / rather go out in a blaze of glory / i wanna taste love and pain / wanna feel pride and shame / i don't wanna take my time / don't wanna waste one line / i wanna live better days / never look back and say / could have been me

PROTEA: stands for change and transformation. signifies daring and resourcefulness. it is symbolic of diversity and courage. primary symbolic meanings are strength, courage, and resilience since the plant survives in extreme climate conditions. also symbolizes diversity, due to the hundreds of variations in color and shape found within their genus.

and since it's a bit difficult to read :

GREEN FLAGS: loyalty comes first, cheating is all but incomprehensible to him, will never turn his back on you, your material conditions/class/wealth are irrelevant, witty but knows when to get serious, charismatic but authentic about it, mundane isn't boring if it's with you, is far more observant of / attentive to your thoughts/feelings/body than you'd think, will readily risk his life to save yours again and again and again.

RED FLAGS: severe trust issues from childhood physical/mental abuse, prone to verbal/emotional outbursts (not always anger), very confrontational (not always in anger), will sooner chase you from room to room than give you space to breathe, has no patience & won't wait for answers when angered, has a hair-trigger temper if you push the wrong buttons, will not drop you and instead act like you don't exist because bad options are still options.

tagged : @sgterso thanks libby, i bet you knew i'd love this one!!!

tagging : @techniiciian @tapalslegacy @alootus @debelltio @desiccation (teshin) @duelfated (luke) @mnolith @oflightsbeam & anyone else who wants to do this!!

template below!

#( . i have so many thoughts and feelings about this but i should be in BED #( . this was so fun tho!! #˒・*。◞ ( dash game ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴇ ғᴀᴠᴏʀs ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʟᴅ‚ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ’ᴍ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ. #˒・*。◞ ( hc ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴs‚ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴʀᴏᴅ. #( . also laughing bc han is so fucking vanilla that it just. tickles me

[authorsadiethatcher]

It's a new month and that means it's time for another State of the Thatcher Address. I considered doing an April Fool's post where I would announce my retirement from writing, but that could easily be taken the wrong way and I'm not going anywhere. I've got a ton of great content upcoming, which I'll highlight toward the end.

It's also properly spring now, which I love. And after a rough March where I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with my writing deadlines, I am finally ahead, meaning I can relax and push the fun angle a little more, at least in my writing process.

A quick reminder that you can find my books on Amazon, Smashwords, Google Play Books, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Everand. You can also read everything I’ve published under my Sadie Thatcher name since last May on Ream, which is a subscription platform built specifically for authors. You can check out my Ream page below.

Ream: https://reamstories.com/sadiethatcher

And speaking of Ream, I have a Ream exclusive novel called The Muse (extreme dollification) that is now complete. I've made the first three chapters available for free. All you have to do is sign up as a follower at the link above to get a taste of my first real story that is too extreme for Amazon.

I also post the occasional bit of flash fiction for followers on Ream. I have one up already and plan to post another one this week. This week's flash fiction story will be called Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

This month I plan to actually spend some time on my other pen name, Libby Feron. As Libby, I write fantasy romance. I've got two projects I'm working on. The first is a series of novellas that could stretch into novels by the end of the series. The other is focusing on the sister in Magic's Most Wanted as she heads off to college. I don’t talk about my fantasy writing often, so checking out https://libbyferon.com/ and signing up for the email newsletter is the best way to stay informed. At some point, there will be a free novella offered.

Now it's time to talk about what to expect this month. First, there is one last book in the Spirit Week Series. That will be a double transformation with an orgy at the end. Be wary of the Bimbo Blonde hair dye. I will also be releasing a series about body glitter that turns people who touch it into bimbos. That should be a lot of fun.

The big one that I'm looking forward to, and will begin writing as soon as I finish writing this post, is College Investigation Journal. There is a dorm section at Thatcher College that keeps turning out bimbos. Every woman who lives there turns into a bimbo. And the college is sending in a graduate student to discover why. This will be written in a diary or journal format, similar to Experiment in Submission.

After that, I've got two more series that will appear toward the end of the month. One is about using bimbofication to hide secrets. The other will involve dreams somehow. I haven't figured out the details beyond that yet.

So as you can see, there's a lot of cool stuff coming this month. And I'm hoping April makes for an all around good month for my followers and readers.

#sadie thatcher #writing #buildingbettergiggles #story #state of the thatcher address

[queenpiranhadon]

It's-a me with a new book series to hyper fixate on

So ehem I just finished the first book of the Inheritance Games (not adding it to my fandoms list until after I finish the series tho) and uh...

(spoilers below the cut)

BAHAHA XANDER WITH HIS SCONES I CAN'T- HE'S GONNA BECOME A POLITICIAN AND CREATE ENEMIES AND ALLIES SOLELY BY GIVING THEM BLUEBERRY OR LEMON SCONES HELP-

And the ending though?? Like I WANT Xander to go to Avery and work together because they both have crucial information but I also want him to get the recognition he deserves I will die on that hill.

Jameson seriously gives me Sirius Black + James Potter vibes (idk is that just me 😭). But like 👏🏾 do 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 treat 👏🏾 Avery like a piece in this big game, get over your dead ex and tell her you love her pls and thank you.

But like you know those videos about the best book boyfriends and their nicknames (idk maybe it's just me lmao) but like "Heiress" and "Mystery Girl" and "Cinderella" I'm squealing.

Grayson- okay there's a lot to him. I am in love with Avery's chemistry with Jameson but Grayson's chemistry with her is adorable too (in the first book at least). Like they start nerding out about statistics and probability like I want a man who will not only just judge me but join me as I overanalyze the implications of outfit, song, and set choices in movies or question the bounds of the universe and talk about the possibilities of the fourth dimension thank you very much.

But like, he has suffered a lot, even if nothing is really his fault, he takes it upon himself to blame himself because believes as the all-knowing Hawthorne he is responsible for everything. That being said, he could've been maybe less of an asshole in the beginning like man wdym by "you're injured and you will tell me why." like yes, that amount of dominance is attractive at certain moments but dude just leave the poor girl alone 😭

Nash I relate to on a spiritual level like oldest sibling, knows pretty much everything that his sibling are still trying to figure out, couldn't care less, doesn't care less, etc etc like join the club lmao. Obviously though, being in the Hawthorne family and having three extremely clever younger brothers all competitive in their own way, he's definitely felt undermined before and probably just stopped trying to be better. And I get that, even if I still try to be better than my own younger brother but he's just living his life, razzing up girls as one does lmao.

And his relationship with Libby...don't get me wrong, they're adorable together, like he's persistent in making sure she's secure and stable and his overprotectiveness is well...ehem he wants this things as they are lmaoo. But even so, I'm still a little wary about him because of his dating history but who knows maybe he'll prove me wrong.

Avery's so funny like first thing she thinks about when meeting any of the Hawthorne's (the grandsons I mean) is damn he's hot. And I mean after everything, I just love her, her reactions are on point, she's just trying to figure stuff out lmao.

I'm leaving my rant here uhm sorry for the essay heh

#the inheritance games #tig #nash hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #alexander hawthorne #xander hawthorne #avery grambs #avery kylie grambs #alexander blackwood hawthorne #jameson winchester hawthorne #xander blackwood hawthorne #grayson davenport hawthorne #nash westbrook hawthorne #jennifer lynn barnes #i am the much needed publicist of alexander blackwood hawthorne and you can't tell me otherwise

[unscapedgoat]

You guys don't understand how fucking hilarious the concept of Harold and Honeycutt as a duo is

Like, Honeycutt keeps having faith in others and he trusts the turtles a lot. He clearly outwardly expresses that he enjoys Donnie and the others' company, and often gives people the benefit of the doubt. He always tries to do the "right thing" and carefully weighs out each option to obtain a "net good" before acting (though, he isn't always right on this).

Meanwhile Harold is a whole menace to society. He is depressed and jaded and has extreme attachment issues. Bro's so isolated and emotionally constipated that he snaps at literally anyone in sight. I mean, c'mon in Hero Micro #3 he tried to kill a teenaged turtle because said turtle turned out to be the kid he cyberbullies online.

Remind you that both were probably traumatised beyond recognition and both started science for the sake of discovery, and then got hit by the reality of the REAL scientific world. Nevertheless they still decided to keep doing it because it's just what they love.

There's so many similarities about them they would love each other's company. But at the same time Harold and Honeycutt's personalities are like oil and water never mixing together. Heck Libby works extremely well with Harold because she's there to tone down whatever bs Harold is spouting at the moment. (armaggeddon game #1)

Also this moment when they first met (idw #46)

Please have more of them I want them to be friends so bad idw. I love Libby too I just want more Harold x Libby. The only straight people who I tolerate smh (and Marra x Zayton and Aloraph but still)

They should be friends. This is why they're childhood besties in my own iteration of the turtles.

#azazel.txt #rambles #tmnt #tmnt idw #zayton honeycutt #harold lilja #libby meitner #fugitoid #theyre on earth now #please #please have more of them #im starving

[cattatonically]

Book Lovers - Emily Henry

Synopsis

One summer. Two rivals. A plot twist they didn’t see coming….

Nora Stephens’ life is books—she’s read them all—and she is not that type of heroine. Not the plucky one, not the laidback dream girl, and especially not the sweetheart. In fact, the only people Nora is a heroine for are her clients, for whom she lands enormous deals as a cutthroat literary agent, and her beloved little sister Libby.

Which is why she agrees to go to Sunshine Falls, North Carolina for the month of August when Libby begs her for a sisters’ trip away—with visions of a small-town transformation for Nora, who she’s convinced needs to become the heroine in her own story. But instead of picnics in meadows, or run-ins with a handsome country doctor or bulging-forearmed bartender, Nora keeps bumping into Charlie Lastra, a bookish brooding editor from back in the city. It would be a meet-cute if not for the fact that they’ve met many times and it’s never been cute.

If Nora knows she’s not an ideal heroine, Charlie knows he’s nobody’s hero, but as they are thrown together again and again—in a series of coincidences no editor worth their salt would allow—what they discover might just unravel the carefully crafted stories they’ve written about themselves.

My Thoughts

My mother watches an ungodly amount of Hallmark movies. My ex-husband has worked on an ungodly amount of Hallmark movies. Suffice it to say, I know my Hallmark movies, their tropes, and what they’re all about.

What Book Lovers does is take ever clichéd Hallmark trope, and shred it to unrecognizable pieces. And honestly, that is the best thing that this book could have done.

I knew I loved Nora from the beginning. I knew that whatever happened in the book, I would always be in her corner. And I’m so glad I was.

I also knew that I would adore Charlie Lastra. And I did. Undoubtedly.

Despite some plot aspects that I did not like – I am never a fan of a character being forced to say yes to something they don’t want to do as a plot device – the characters more than made up for that, and kept my interest. I was rooting for Nora and Charlie from the prologue to the epilogue.

I just truly adored them as characters. They were unapologetically honest – most of the time – and never once did they try to be anything but themselves around each other. And honestly, it was refreshing.

This whole book was extremely refreshing. This book took contemporary romance, and revitalized it. It took classic romance tropes, said “not today, Satan”, and, in my not so humble opinion, breathed new life into a tired, predictable genre. Nothing about this book went the way I thought it would, and I love that so much.

Whatever transformation is happening with the romance genre the last couple years, I’m here for it. And if that means reading more Emily Henry, well, I’m certainly not complaining.

#Book review #Book Lovers #Emily Henry #Catt reads #Catt's life in books

[thebibliosphere]

extremely bizarre question: does libby/overdrive only pay you when your book is purchased or do you get paid when a book gets checked out too? and if you get paid when the book gets checked out, is there a certain amount of the book I need to read for it to count?

for context: I do most of my reading on desktop and unlike overdrive, libby doesn’t have a desktop app (adobe digital editions is terrible and doesn’t let me use the arrow keys to turn pages) so the only way for me to read library books on my computer is to put them in calibre, essentially pirating the library book. I’m aware that this is Not Great, so every time I reread a book, I check it out from libby again and return it after two days. but, libby has so much internal tracking (even after I turned off everything I could get my hands on) that I’m worried that returning an “unread” book will count against the authors/libraries

It depends on the library and its agreement with Overdrive.

For some of them, I only get paid when they buy the ebook or renew their digital license. (Most digital licenses last about a year or for X amount of checkouts. This is dependent on region/country.)

Other times, I get paid when the book is bought and when the book is checked out (again dependent on region/country).

It's a very small amount, but it adds up if enough people are doing it. It also doesn't matter if the person reads it or not. Libby/Overdrive isn't like Kindle Unlimited, it's not paying authors per pages read. It's just a flat rate.

Also, even if you don't read the books, don't feel bad!

Even putting them on hold and checking them out really helps authors! It shows demand for the book, which means the library is more likely to renew the digital license, which is great! It keeps the eBook in the system and makes the library more likely to consider buying other titles from the same author.

So thank you for checking the book out of the libraries every time you do a reread. It helps more than people realize :)

[tbookblurbs]

The Atlas Complex - Olive Blake (The Atlas #3)

1.5/5 - disappointing conclusion to the trilogy; no real satisfying character arcs or conclusions to those arcs; truly baffling character decisions

SPOILERS BELOW

To be completely honest, I read this book more out of a desire to see how, exactly, Blake planned to wrap up the character arcs than any real desire to engage with it because I also found the second book to be disappointing.

Basically, none of the characters are truly served in this book. The one with the best outcome is Callum and he ends up dead anyway. Every single character spends this whole book whining and complaining about their lack of purpose. Over 200 pages of the book go by before anything of note happens. Truly, I think Blake needed an editor and/or someone to tell her the harsh truth - that everything in this nearly 500-page novel could have been said in 200.

I just found myself extremely dissatisfied with the arcs. Reina gets no screentime and undergoes no real change. Nico/Gideon are stagnant. Parisa doesn't do anything interesting until page 350/474. Tristan whines, literally, the whole time about how he doesn't know what his purpose in life is. Libby undergoes a "corruption" arc and still manages to hem and haw and bite her nails the entire time, even though she's supposed to have grown a spine by now. By the end of the book all I wanted was for someone to just do something instead of overthinking their place in the world.

This book also continuously asks questions that I find to be overwritten and that Blake attempts to answer in text. The meaning of life and why humanity is the way it is does not need to be answered in your trilogy about six people without an ounce of backbone or direction between them. Even more so, the answers that Blake provides are not answers I find terribly interesting or useful. I am no longer interested in debating if humanity is fundamentally awful or if people with talent are always directionless and easily swayed to power schemes or if somebody can be both a good and bad person at the same time. These have all been done and, frankly, been done better elsewhere. To have multiple of your characters claim that ethics isn't really "their thing", that their experiments are just that and have no consequences is ... not a good look, particularly after the summer of Oppenheimer and the moral imperative of scientists everywhere. Like, yes, your experiments do have a greater ethical cost. That's common sense, actually.

The worldbuilding remains frightfully vague. The prose used is purposefully convoluted, which meant I had to read probably a third of this book at least twice to actually understand it. And I don't mean that in the there-are-complicated-metaphors-here sense. I mean it in the this-sentence-structure-and-word-choice-are-so-odd-and-complex-as-to-be-useless-to-the-reader sense.

By the time something interesting came up, I was so done with slogging through the rest of the book that it felt like a relief that might come in death. I just wanted it to be over.

Chief among these sins is that Blake also introduced new characters in this (already overstuffed) book that were substantially more interesting than our POV/main characters. Why tease me with concepts that are actually interesting before throwing me back into the weeds? It's cruel.

#this was for sure a book #if you've already read the second then like sure go ahead and read this #but if you've only read the first one just stop there #its for the best #OH AND IT WASN'T EVEN GAY #THIS WHOLE TIME IM HOLDING OUT FOR THROUPLES AND GAY/LESBIAN COUPLES AND WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING #the atlas complex #olivie blake #book review #magical realism #fantasy

[joseopher]

how do you interpret the "it only broke because i broke it" scene/conversation with tristan and callum in the atlas paradox? what are the important parts of it? i really like the scene and i feel like you'd have more thoughts about the significance of it than i got on my own

I DO HAVE MORE THOUGHTS!!!

Spoilers for The Atlas Paradox under the cut!!!

So we begin.

"It took three days after the incident with the captive witch for Tristan to come find him. Ridiculous. As if they were schoolgirls waiting three days to text back."

This implies that after their interaction (Tristan taking a hostage and Callum having some fun) it was a given that Tristan would come to find him. Callum could think this because:

a) He's arrogant and "understands" emotions well

b) Callum and Tristan know each other so well that they don't need to make a verbal agreement that Tristan will eventually find Callum

Option B is suggested by this earlier line: "The shorthand between Callum and Tristan had been long enough established that Tristan did not require clarification."

They were very close friends, they knew each other very well.

This line is also important: "'Finally,' Callum said without looking up from his book."

What says the most is that Tristan does not question what Callum means by "finally". Meaning it's very likely that they both understood this meeting was inevitable.

Another quote that caught my attention was:

"I thought, ‘You know what will be fun? I’ll just make up a nice little story that will haunt Tristan for three days and then I’ll simply tell him it was all a joke, ha ha.’ Certainly it’s not an extremely fraught situation. After all, what possible knowledge would I have of such fragile emotional tangles? None whatsoever, methinks—"

This may sound reasonable for a normal person to say. But this is Callum, he has crafted a persona that plays with people like toys. The version of himself he trying desperately to make everyone believe would indeed fuck with someone like that.

And Tristan has every right to buy into this. Tristan's paranoid, Tristan's been manipulated by Callum and Tristan has seen Callum try to make someone he cares for take her own life in front of him.

But all he says is, "Fine. Point taken."

HE👏TRUSTED👏CALLUM'S👏WORDS

Not necessarily because he believes Callum deserves his trust but because he knows that this isn't what Callum would do.

They know each other so well but also not in the ways they need.

The misunderstandings start here: "False. I do not hate Rhodes. I do not even dislike Rhodes. She simply does not matter."

Callum does not waste effort on those that do not matter to him. But in this line, he's saying that Tristan does matter to him, that he wouldn't be presenting this information to him if he didn't matter. Tristan does matter to him, despite all their betrayal, despite the resentment and hate, he is important enough to be worth Callum allowing himself to feel for, even if that feeling is dislike. (But these lines suggest he still likes Tristan: "'Tristan doesn’t have his own ideas. It’s what I like about him.' He meant to say liked, but it obviously didn’t matter.").

Tristan doesn't see this and instead fixates on Callum's next words that suggest he wants to kill Libby.

Moving on, I find this quote very memorable:

"Callum remarked, producing a very neat and well-prepared document from the inside cover of his book—which was actually How to Win Friends and Influence People, chosen for its many wonderful techniques. For example, one way to make people like you was to smile, which Callum winningly employed now."

This quote suggests that Callum still wants Tristan to like him. He's still trying to recover from Tristan considering killing him, still trying to process rejection from the one person who saw him for who he was. He longs for Tristan to like him again, to heal over that injury or just have the power to reject him back.

This is furthered by this quote:

"No, no, wildly incorrect. I don’t just want you to try, Tristan. I want you to succeed. I want you to succeed so valiantly and with such flying colors that you believe yourself to be invincible and invulnerable and, ultimately, a more evolved version of your current self. But of course you won’t do that. Which is honestly very sad for me, because I really am an optimist."

Callum rarely lies, so it's likely that he does want Tristan to succeed, he does care.

"You’re manipulating me somehow. I know you’re trying to talk me out of it.

But, of course, in Tristan's pov, anything he had with Callum was just manipulation. He does not allow himself to think that Callum still cares because of his own self-doubts. He does know Callum very well but his own disbelief that anyone would care about him + assuming everything between was manipulation which is because of his self-doubt stops him from even considering the idea that Callum desperately wants to be liked by him. He knows Callum but his own doubt and self-loathing opens room for misunderstanding.

"And yet, I am the only one in this house who’s been any help to you at all, Tristan, so you’re welcome."

Callum is practically screaming at Tristan. He's like, "See I'm helpful, no one else, I'm helping you Tristan despite everything, please for god's sake pay attention to me."

"The glare he received from Tristan was a ruthless thing of beauty."

I have nothing to say about this quote other than: GAAAAAY

"Which was thoroughly impossible. A comedy of errors to the highest degree. And this was who Tristan had chosen over Callum! This was what he had done, and in the murky plumbing of Callum’s allegedly nonexistent heart, he hoped that Tristan suffered for it."

Callum's intentions are stated here. He is jealous, but more than that, he still feels betrayed. This was the person he had ACTUALLY brought himself to care about despite his trauma (Direct quote: "Callum did not enjoy this, the destruction of a human psyche for which he had actually allowed himself to care."), Tristan would always be the most important person in his life, but from his pov, he is not Tristan's most important person, no, he's disposable to Tristan.

AGAIN THIS IS THE PERSON THAT SAW HIS FLAWS AND STILL ACCEPTED HIM (to an extent). Tristan saw him murder Parisa and still hung out with him. Everything was almost okay between them despite Callum revealing a lot of himself to Tristan.

This quote happened after Callum murdered Parisa:

"I’m not here to have a row," he [Tristan] said. "You’re right, of course. I know you’re right."

Callum looked warily unconvinced. "Is that supposed to be concession or a compliment?"

"Neither. A fact. Or rather, a white flag."

“So this is a truce?”

"Or an apology," Tristan said. "Whichever you prefer."

CALLUM HAD FOUND SOMEONE THAT SAW HIM:

"I see you" came out of Tristan’s mouth before he had decided fully what to say.

AND IN HIS POV TRISTAN REJECTED HIM FOR SOMEONE "GOOD". Tristan rejected him for someone who would never do anything unseemingly like him. That is the crux of this, that is the deepness of this hurt, that Callum can never be like this version of Libby he perceives, someone good, innocent and moral. He thought that he had someone who would accept his damage and trauma and (in his pov) he was wrong.

"This was just the world. You trusted people, you loved them, you offered them the dignity of your time and the intimacy of your thoughts and the frailty of your hope and they either accepted it and cared for it or they rejected it and destroyed it and in the end, none of it was up to you. This was just what you got. Heartbreak was inevitable. Disappointment assured."

He is back to his typical apathetic ways, as earlier in the book it is implied that this isn't the first Callum has been rejected like this, with his mother and father (potentially his sister) and others that he had watched himself fade out of significance to them:

"They loved you one day, didn’t the next. Callum had watched himself fade in significance from too many people’s lives, and yes, okay, that was not an excuse for … what was it that Tristan had disliked about him, ultimately?"

And also, I find this important:

"Honestly, Callum was doing just fine with his grief."

Callum labels what he has been experiencing for this past year as grief. Showing just how much Tristan's betrayal hurt him.

But enough about Callum, that's pick apart Tristan's most important words:

"Whether you put it there or not," Tristan said, his voice heavy with irony, “this—between us—it was real for me."

Tristan's belief that this might not be real, was what made him agree to murder Callum. Parisa describes him as being in agony with this decision until:

"A little slip of parchment from his head ignited suddenly in flames; curling edges that fell to smoldering pieces, crumbling to ash."

This is interesting because the paper/talisman that Tristan uses to discover that Callum is manipulating him is described as a "slip of paper", which is essentially the same as "parchment".

It was not Callum's "killing" of Parisa that made him decide, nor Callum's constant suggestions to kill Libby, not even that if the initiates didn't kill Callum they would likely start attacking each other, which would put Tristan's life on the line. Tristan and Callum's bond went beyond those things. Instead, it was the concept that their bond, which was so strong it made Tristan (eventually) overlook Callum murdering someone he cared for, was fake, meaning that he had no reason to continue to care for someone that doesn't give a fuck about anyone else.

So this is Tristan acknowledging that the reason he justified murdering Callum wasn't good enough. That he's realized, even if it was fake, he doesn't care. Because what they had was great enough that it didn't matter. It was real to Tristan.

"You can pretend that it didn’t matter."

This is interesting because both Callum and Tristan believe that the other is acting like what they had was nothing. For example Callum's pov:

"As if Tristan’s resolution to kill Callum was less of a betrayal purely because he’d changed his mind. As if everything that Callum had ever shared with Tristan—every intimate thought, every private confession—had been a falsehood—or if not a falsehood, then so very paltry that it could be unimagined, rescinded, undone."

It's miscommunication at its finest.

"That I was the one who wronged you. That you had no hand in how things happened. That I made a choice based on nothing, based on my own insecurities and flaws."

This is Tristan saying that the murder and betrayal, should not be ignored either. Callum should not sit all high and mighty and analyze what happened through an unfeeling, apathetic lens, then, claim that Tristan did this because of the intricate way his emotions and trauma clashed together. Callum knows why this happened, they know each other very well and ignoring all the messed up fuckery that led to Tristan's betrayal would be denying their relationship.

This is furthered by:

"But I am not such an idiot—I’m not so devoid of feeling," Tristan spat, "to not be perfectly aware that you and I had something rare and difficult and fucking significant, and in the end it only broke because I broke it."

The most important part here is that Tristan is admitting fault. He knows they could have continued their homoerotic friendship if he didn't choose to kill Callum. That, yes, Callum is also to blame but Tristan was the one who ended it. And he's sorry. Telling Callum sorry before didn't work so he's saying it in a different way. This is desperation. It's saying: I don't care if you hurt me or manipulate me. I accept that. I accept your faults. What we had is more important. Please stop pretending that it was nothing.

Now back to Callum's POV:

"He felt his victory ballooning into rage, pure rage. He felt anger with an intensity that was incandescent with bereavement. He wanted, just as he had wanted at the beginning of this godforsaken year, to murder Tristan. To take him by the throat and slice him into ribbons and serve him like a roast—and also, to meticulously and with great inconvenience inconvenience to himself weave a flower crown laden with unrequited meaning, with which to adorn Tristan’s incredibly stupid and perfectly functioning head."

CALLUM AGREES WITH WHAT TRISTAN SAYS, FURTHER PROVED BY THIS:

"Mostly, though, Callum wanted Tristan to suffer profoundly for every honest word out of his mouth."

But he doesn't understand exactly what Tristan is saying. Because yes, everything between them was important and they both had a role to play in its downfall. But Tristan still rejected Callum. Tristan's emotions tell Callum that he loves Libby. Everything that Callum is not.

To him, Tristan doesn't love Callum but Callum loves Tristan.

"—and also, to meticulously and with great inconvenience inconvenience to himself weave a flower crown laden with unrequited meaning, with which to adorn Tristan’s incredibly stupid and perfectly functioning head."

The key word is "unrequited". Callum loves Tristan with his everything. He admitted before:

"I love you. That’s why you can’t turn your back on me, even if you want to."

Of course, Callum slipped this in while he was manipulating Tristan so he could play it off as just part of him telling Tristan what he wanted to hear his father say.

However, he doesn't believe Tristan feels the same.

But that's not necessarily true. Emotions are complicated. We know there has been a tarnish on their relationship since Callum "murdered" Parisa. As described by Callum himself:

"There is bitterness now, resentment. A bit of tarnish, or rust I suppose, on what we were.”

This is furthered by Callum manipulating Tristan, because how is Tristan supposed to trust any affection from Callum after knowing that Callum was playing with his emotions? Especially since Callum said he loved Tristan while making him more miserable than he's ever been in his entire life.

So Tristan is very upset with Callum, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him. But to Callum, it's the same sort of love Tristan holds toward his father, too bitter and wounded to really count.

Whereas Tristan's feelings toward Libby are more "pure" in a way. There's not that bitterness there, in fact, it's an obsession with her innocence as Parisa explains:

"You like her because she’s innocent, Tristan. Because she’s moral. Because she’s good. Because she represents something to you that the rest of us no longer have, because we came here. And because we made choices."

and:

"Libby Rhodes is not your goodness, Tristan,"

Libby hasn't hurt him like the others, so his love for her is pure.

To Callum, this is a rejection of him as he is not everything that is good.

Not to mention, Tristan acknowledging that what they had was real is terrifying to Callum. He refuses to open himself up to love and trust after Tristan's betrayal. He knows those emotions only weaken him. He cannot allow it to happen again.

So Callum does the only thing he knows how to do:

"Good luck," said Callum. "With everything. Hope it works out between you and Rhodes."

Tristan’s expression darkened. "Did I not just say—"

He continues his plan.

"Like Atlas Blakely, Callum was going to stick to his plan, even if it was objectively flawed and would lead to either despotism or tears."

In Callum's mind, he can't have Tristan even if he wants Tristan. He cannot trust and cannot untaint Tristan's feelings for him, so he continues with his plan, with his depression, with his persona of apathy because he is the only safe option in his mind.

So those are my thoughts!

#novacaine #tristan caine #callum nova #the atlas six #tristan x callum

[ghoulishbuck]

This post is for those who want to know places to get books or where I personally get mine. If you would like to add places please leave them in the comments.

Ways I acquire books:

•Libby- this is an app that connects with your library card(s). 90% of what I read I loan from my library using this as audiobooks and ebooks at times are easier for me to use.

•Kindle Unlimited- I own an old fire tablet that I just got two months of kindle unlimited for free on but personally I won’t continue it after it ends because I have a hard time with ebooks.

•Amazon- I rarely buy things on here now but they do often have a lot of books on sale. I do also browse for deals on ebooks and have gotten a plethora of ones I’m interested in for free.

•Secondhand stores- most of my collection comes from secondhand/ thrift stores. I very rarely buy a book from chain stores or for full price. This also includes antique stores.

•PangoBooks- 98% of the time if I want to buy a specific book I’ll look for it here before I look elsewhere. They also at times do give out coupons like spend $20 get $5 off.

•NetGalley- every now and then I’ll request digital arcs (ebooks and audiobooks that aren’t released yet). As long as you read the books you request and review them (or state you DNF’ed and why) on the site and keep your ratio at least at 80% of all accepted request reviewed you’re golden. But, having another place where you talk and review books does increase your chances. Personally, I have my Goodreads and Instagram account linked to help even though I haven’t touched my Instagram account in awhile.

•Library- I’ve barely checked out any books in person since I got my library card but that’s purely because I’m really trying to read my physical tbr and stay away from adding more to it.

•Gifts- if people ask me what I want for something for example my 21st birthday which is a few months away I’ll either say a certain book, an author, or a gift card to someplace that sells books. Sometimes I’ll say other things depending on the person. Now that doesn’t mean I’m expecting a bunch of books especially new ones in fact when I gave someone a list of books and author names I only gave them things that I thought they could easily find in a thrift store and always remind them that it’s not a list of things that needs to be completely bought but more of a scavenger hunt that they can end at anytime.

•Audible- for awhile I had a subscription mostly due to multiple free trials and it not cancelling even after I cancelled… Anyways, I prefer using Libby.

•Half Price Books- this is both a secondhand store and not. A good chunk of my books have come from here although these days this is mostly only my go to when I’m near one, when I don’t have time for a thrift store (I will look at nearly the entire place), or when I’m hoping to find certain more popular books.

•Barnes & Nobles- I very rarely went to Barnes even when I lived near one but every now and then I would buy some books from there. I do wish I could be near one when they do their 50% off hardcover sale they usually do on the 26th of December.

•Giveaways- I’ve won quite a few e-book giveaways on Goodreads. Personally, I’ve only won one physical giveaway and never received it. Which is pretty 50/50 when it’s the publisher doing the giveaway from what I understand.

•Dollar Tree- this is pretty hit or miss but whenever I go I make sure to check out their book section because they do sometimes have books I am interested in.

•Target- their price on books especially viz manga always gets me. Along with the deals they do every now and then like buy one get one 50% off or buy two get one free.

•Walmart- they also have about the same pricing for books as Target does but the only extra deal they do is for books they put on clearance which they put in cardboard bins.

•Book Outlet- discounted books that are pretty cheap although condition can vary. Not like extremely bad but like I have gotten a book with a small rip in the cover, the cover smushed on the top and bottom of the spine and a broken spine on a hardcover. I just think it’s better to know what the condition could be be before going into it. As long as your fine with the chance of getting that I highly recommend it. They are currently doing a fiction books sale right now where their only $5.99 and everything else is 20% off. Just dropping my referral link below if you use it you get $5 off of a $25 or higher order.

•Rightstuf (rip now is under Crunchyroll)- they had some great deals on manga, graphic novels, anime figures, and anime. I sadly didn’t take part in the birthday sale even though I really wanted to but I did make one or two purchases from them and had a good experience.

•Book of the Month- I’ve been getting books from them for just about to be a year and one month. I personally have really enjoyed it but I also will read anything that interest me and usually even if I don’t care for the months picks after watching people react to them and talk about them I want to pick up at least one of them. Book of the Month referral below.

•Aardvark- I got this one month with the discount code they always have where you get your first book for $4. There’s been a few books I wanted that they have but it’s been too rare for me.

Other ways that I haven’t yet done:

•Library sales- every now and then libraries will sell the books they no longer plan to keep in circulation and the profits go directly to the library.

•Little Free Libraries- these are strictly take a book leave a book deals. Most of these are run by a book lover who just wants to make books more accessible to people but they have to take the money out of their own pocket to keep it filled.

•Asking Publishers for physical arcs- this is the one I’m most anxious about and know the least about. From what I heard you have better chances of getting accepted for physical arcs if you have a big following. And it’s better to wait until you have had a book blog be somewhat regularly active (every week or two minimum) for six months. After that point you have to send an email to the publisher specifically asking for a certain physical arc(s), link your blog, make it professional sounding and just cross your fingers.

•Independent bookstore- I live in the middle of nowhere so the closest one to me is over two hours away (this is actually the closest bookstore period) and it’s also pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I just have a hard time paying full price so even though I love browsing through a bookstore the drive just for the bookstore that’s full price isn’t worth it.

•ThriftBooks- I like to know the condition I’m buying books in so I’ve never bought something from here as new could actually mean good condition depending on the person.

•SciFier- this is what a lot of people especially in the UK use especially for manga. It’s like a Rightstuff but from what I’ve seen better.

•eBay- I feel more comfortable with Pango’s system of just incase the seller screw’s you over than with eBay’s so I’ve never bought anything from here.

•Facebook Marketplace- I don’t have Facebook so I’ve never used this but I have seen some good deals.

•Garage/Yard/Estate Sales- I haven’t been to any of these in quite some time but when I did go things were quite cheap because they just wanted to get rid of things.

•Illumicrate- special edition book subscription service

•Fairyloot- special edition book subscription service

•Owlcrate- special edition book subscription service

•Broken binding- special edition book subscription service

•Forbidden planet- Manga, books, comics and figures store

•Indigo- Canada’s verison of Barnes & Nobles

#books and reading #lgbt reader #male reader #booksbooksbooks #books #reading #queer reader #bookworm #book collecting #book #bookish #book blog #bookblr #book community #booklovers #books & libraries #reader #readerblr #lgbtq reader #book sale #book blr #book buying #book haul