#NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING HOWEVER

[malenchka]

asra doodle 💜

#not sure if I ever posted this asra #the arcana #arcana #asra #asra the magician #ok real talk i liked asra bc theyre fuckin pretty yeah but also they’re a Gemini #i like geminis aesthetically and theoretically but pls I’ve never been able to have a friendship with one 😂😂😂 #NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING HOWEVER #are any of my followers geminis pls tell me the secret of befriending them

[transmasccofee]

kusuke is winning worst brother of the year award for sure

#cause and effect man #he actually flinches a lot and says that he cant relax when wearing his ring bc he’s constantly scared someone will attack him #which you could say is because hes been able to hear everyone around him (as well as their intentions) so suddenly lacking that ability #is uncomfortable #however i would argue that even then your first worry shouldnt be assuming that everyone you see could be hiding a knife trying to kill you

[logicalbookthief]

Rei please talk to your husband he just wants to communicate

#buddy daddies #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #kazurei #king of trying to establish healthy communication (as long as it has nothing to do with his tragic past ofc) #truly it is about the domesticity of it all #this is mostly just a sweet and funny post #however #I do sense that lack of communication could indeed cause Problems #given they are now in danger #apollo’s dodgeball pls do not come for me with this post

[employee052]

me in the day thinking abt tsp: hehe funny british man get mad n pissy, buckets and average man

me at 2am: narry do you ever wonder if my worries of designing you in an original way are, in a sense, dramatic irony when considering the fact that its very much related to the topics of ultra deluxe, where both of us got stuck in the cycle of feeling anxious over changing ourselves for the sake of pleasing others and of fear of driving them away, only to realise that in giving external reviews of our art power and desperately trying to appeal to all of them do we end up losing the original joy of the art? do you think its fucked up how through this experience, ive ended up with a skip button ending of my own where ive been forcing myself to make the content i think others would love instead of the ones i love personally. would a redesign even feel fitting? should i forgo the whole originality aspect and just let you be yourself, like how i should let myself make the art i want to make, and let you speak and be heard rather than skipped over?

the narrator, tired: For fucks sake, go tO BED-

#ozzy vent #(??? kinda?) #these have been my thoughts recently abt my narrys design #truth be told i have so many ideas for tsp thst i never do bc it never seems to get a lot of notes #i have since been working to distance from depending on likes and reblogs but its hard sjfjsjf #i love my narry i love my virgil my old man #but by god this is the first design/oc/interpretation of a character thats grown alongside me #however with the new year i hope to work on healing this weird state i am with tsp #i love it dearly #the game the community (though at times things get rough) and the characters themselves #but next year i want to make the tsp content i wanted to make this year #ill be replaying the game more n trying to form my own thoughts on certain endings and aspects #and... ill be enjoying it hopefully #not worrying about trends or overarching rp n stories #but on the stuff that makes me happy #anyways sorry for the lack of posts recently ajdjjaf #ill be back soon i hope #in the meantime it is now 3am #ozzies tsp rambles #good night

[serdtse]

//

#my friend defended her phd thesis today and I’m so happy for her #we were on this journey together until I quit two years ago and it’s amazing how well-researched her thesis is #however by the end of the day I can’t help but think that I could #do that too maybe? or I wouldn’t be able to? #also watching her defend her thesis and seeing familiar faces made me somehow nostalgic abt the whole academic setting #and lately I’ve been feeling such a lack of purpose in anything I do I wonder if it were different had I stayed #or is it nostalgia lying? I think factually I quite hated being at uni in the last semesters #but my problem was the supervisor mainly and I try to imagine now how it could be with someone else #so many maybes and hypotheticals.. maybe I’m where I’m meant to be as of now even if still not happy lol #oh i also remembered how i thought i would be lonely forever bc at my uni most of the lecturers are middle-aged and over women #and now i simply sit at home alone all day #funny huh

[appallinnballin]

yayyy spring break and off work days yayyy all this fresh free time now I can do the things I’ve

#i’m ngl i really do hope that all the time with school and my job wont make me burn through my vacations by being tired and unproductive #but i am very much feeling such at the moment and it sucks my jorts hard #i think the lack of worry would do me good however.. i want to try doing as much as i can without pushing it 👍 #my art #self #ralli #i did make awesome fucking chicken nuggets earlier tho they were. awesome fucking chicken nuggets

[pyrriax]

pyrr pyrriax is significantly less productive when it spends several hours just bouncing between vcs in pursuit of human interaction

#haunted ecosystem #i spent the last several hours just chilling muted in a vc with a few people i dont really Know but we're friendly so it works #bonus was playing on an mc server at the same time and immediately making it my goal to harass jack #i got caught in a self-instated death loop trying to get him to free my corpse from his claim PDVNDJK #however: i now have an area where i get to set up a farm and become a beast (spend several hours lost in farmer's delight) #its okay its better than the average of like 11 hour calls #i write significantly less when i'm being social and not just in my little hole in the wall scribbling random concepts #also i need to read more fic to get my brain going again since currently i am lacking in things kicking around in my skull #aside from a concerning amount of oc stuff that will likely never see the light of day beyond ocassional snippet posts #im planning to work on a few projects i just also need to. not have things i need to work on #im working on a gift fic thats a little late but i just need to Come Up With Something

[blueskittlesart]

Hi! As someone who now kinda wants to check out Trigun because of the hype, do you recommend that I can start with Stampede? Or do I really need to watch the OG anime first to better understand/enjoy it? Thank you! 🙋🏻‍♀️

you can start with stampede! i'd say knowing the context of the original enhances the experience but isn't necessary to enjoy the show. I would consider stampede more viewer-friendly, especially for those of us who are used to modern storytelling conventions (the original suffers the consequences of general writing trends in anime at the time it was produced and of the fact that it was produced long before the manga was finished, so the story is somewhat disjointed and has a lot of filler which makes it REALLY hard to get into.) if you do end up liking stampede, however, I'd suggest trying out watching at least SOME of the original because it adds a lot of cool nuance and context to the story that stampede tells!

#your only REAL handicap is that you're missing out on references that clue you into the context of the story early on #and quite a few references in the finale. but none of those references are hugely necessary to understand the plot so you should be fine! #i didn't DISLIKE the origial and like i said im glad i watched it first but it was. REALLY hard to get into. #even as someone who understands writing trends & enjoys a lot of older anime trigun is. a product of its time. #there's almost no context given for the story you're witnessing until a good 20 episodes in. #the main villain isn't named at all until halfway through the runtime #and even TWO EPISODES BEFORE THE FINALE i still did not have enough information to fully understand what the hell was going on #vash was going into the final fucking battle and i still didn't know what knives WAS let alone what the fuck he WANTED #not to mention nick was FULLY DEAD and i still didnt know what his deal was. like ok go off king have ur moment bleeding out in the church #but can you EXPLAIN WHATS GOING ON BEFORE YOU SUCCUMB TO THE BLOOD LOSS PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD #stampede does that whole thing WAY better imo. it sprinkles the backstory more naturally throughout the show #again. part of this is 90s writing conventions. but there's only so much i can take fr #it was like comparable to evangelion in terms of LACK OF CONTEXT #anyways. this isnt supposed to be me complaining about the original. it had its moments. i watched 24 episodes of it like it was not BAD #but like. i think the story really benefits from the way that stampede chooses to lay everything out. is what im saying. #tldr watch them in whatever order but if you like stampede try the original #you might not like it more than stampede but you WILL feel cool when you realize how it all relates to stampede #asks #vash is also WAAAAAY sexier in stampede. HOWEVER. the women of the show are like 10 times sexier in the original. so. pick your poison ig

[diodellet]

hi hi!!

it's so funny seeing your reblog bc i was literally just about to revisit some of your fics so i can finally give them my proper thoughts

bc i first found them when i was just lurking and barely interacted with anything ;;

i particularly enjoy your jamil fics (of course) they truly made me feel things hfhjdjjs

anyways just wanted to let you know i love your writing!!

hopefully you dont mind but expect some spam soon and i wish you a good one! 💖💖

SLKDJFLSDF LODS U DONT HAVE TO BUT UWA ur too kind, thank you for the impending spam🥹🥹 icb those were written over a yr ago ahhh im getting nostalgic💕💕

PLS those first fics were from when i was overtaken with the worst worms in the brain because of jamil and he singlehandedly inspired so much writing and unwelcome plot bunnies i must free myself from my deadlines so i can spread the brainworms toda other jamilnatics

#i wasnt trying to shade ppl with that rb #but i was thinking of how the main fandoms ive been in have changed and become more hostile to writers #seeing several writer mutuals receive entitled asks and even anon hate?? in our yr of the lord 2024??? #and seeing writer lodis deactivate from burnout and lack of interactions idk #im not the best example of a good interacter but im trying to push myself out of my shell (however little that may be) #dellet-asks #scint1llat3

[birbhouse-doodles]

What's a bad miracle? They got a word for that?

That scary movie artober challenge thing I keep doing has arrived! I'm kicking it off with a really obvious choice, a super visually stunning and insanely good one, probably the most fun movie I've seen so far this year: Nope

#mine #tober 22 #nope 2022 #nope movie #fuck guys i can't believe i actually made this. in the sketchbook with crappy craft paints in 2 days to boot #like this was me squaring up to several art things i tend to suck at. staring them dead in the eye and just. doing it #the many bright primary colors. the horse. the hand-centric pose. and the paints themselves were what i was worried about going in but? #i'm really really happy with how all of those things went and kind of amazed at how this turned out #i maintain that horses are not as hard to draw as people say. tack and horse accessories however........ #people who know enough about saddles to spot all of my mistakes dni #it sure wasn't for lack of trying #OH and this does have alt text I just forgot to put that at the start of this tag essay

[melonnade]

KABUTO YAKUSHI.

#web weave #web weaving #kabuto yakushi #yakushi kabuto #Naruto #I love seeing these so I decided to try to make one myself #hopefully it turned out well #just to clarify; when making it I did not intend for this to sound romantic #it’s supposed to be about grief & the loss of identity that comes with a lack of purpose #but someone pointed out this sounds ship-y. not what I wanted but you’re free to interpret it however you want #long post

[emmafaeru]

one of the things that's insane to me about terraria is it's lack of online prescence. it's the 10th best selling video game of all time. there's like 3 people who make videos about it. it's been around for 13 years. there's not even 400 fics tagged as terraria on ao3. 45 million people have played it. there are maybe 4 pieces of fanart somwhere if you really dig for them. and the crazy part is I totally agree. I have never wanted to create about terraria. I have rarely if ever wanted to consume content about terraria. this is a game I have a disgusting amount of hours in and I would give a very high rating of and I have never once gone feral over it like I have with other things I consume. terraria is this ball of awesomeness of a game mixed with this complete fucking undecipherable void of a prescence and i think it's insane

#if we're actually thinking about why though #1) the complete lack of story/worldbuilding/setting/ heavily discourages any attempt of a narrative #it would be like trying to write a captivating story about minecraft steve in minecraft block world #'but minecraft has so many stories thought up in it! like [insert minecraft smp]' #2) yes but consider that minecraft's relatively short - and frankly unfulfilling - progression #means that after you beat minecraft the only thing left to do is to create - either with yourself or other people #which incidentally is also why minecraft servers are such a big thing - becuase of that natural steer into playing with other ppl #however (as anyone who's tried to beat it knows) terraria has a LOT of progression - and it's all built to be extremly satisfying progress #which means when you beat terraria. you can beat it again! in any one of 2098456 ways you choose all of which give you a unique playthrough #incidentally this is also why in my experience servers are so much less of a thing in terraria #while the modding scene is sososo much bigger and relevant - tapping into that 'replay the thing but DIFFERENT' again type of replayability #I'm comparing terraria and minecraft btw because both are sandbox games but they have wildly different prescences #and often times people will write minecraft having more content down as 2d/terraria being more limiting creatively #but actually some of the prettiest builds in a videogame I've seen were in 2d/terraria #I think there's a more fundamental difference at play there #in the type of replayability that mc and terraria offer #one kind of forces you to create or play with others if you want more out of it #while the other offers this kind of seemingly endless well of challenges that never steers you in that co-op/creative direction #both are great in their own right #but it means that minecraft has more content 'staying power' as it is a space designed first and foremost to steer players into creating #and also most importantly - cooperating and playing with others to creat together #while terraria more often focuses on that core gameplay experience/challenge #while never steering/forcing players into that creating/co-opting space #unless they intentionally seek out that experience for themselves #see - the terraria builder community (not massive last time I checked) and server players (I don't think they exist) #also 3) eye of cthullu is stupid hard to draw in 3d without doubling over laughing #like 👁️ <- oh man look who's floating ominously!! he sure is gonna getchu!! #^ I ramble about things #also i still think terraria is better than minecraft. for the record

[mymarifae]

what do you think about the new girl page? seeing lots of divisive opinions on that one

mm. mmmmmm. hoooooooo boy ok let's talk about this. i guess.

to sum it up succinctly? it strikes me as bizarre. like, just bizarre. it's weird on multiple levels and fucks with established characterizations of susie, kris, AND noelle. it's messy and i think it was a poor choice. and for now i'm tentatively bonking toby over the head with a hammer (i will get into why it's tentative for now, rest assured) and i'm also bonking everyone praising it and immediately incorporating it into their views of the characters.

to break it down further...?

in and of itself, it's like. alright, we've got this indirect and yet very clear confirmation that susie was adopted/temporarily housed by (and is still bouncing around in the foster care system) a human family and has/had a "mother" who abuses/d her. so she's lashing out. she's redirecting her pain and trauma onto the one human in hometown. who was also adopted. by a family of monsters. a family that is kind and loving. that's not fair, why didn't she get to be a dreemurr, why did kris steal her chance, this isn't fair this isn't fucking fair-

she's a hurt, scared kid. and i don't necessarily think this is a. well i don't want to say "i don't think this is a bad scene to canonize" because it is a bad scene - it's uncomfortable and it caused me a lot of pain to read. but it's not like unforgivable, and it doesn't make susie a bad person.

i will never hold a grudge against a kid for lashing out when they were never taught love and kindness and acceptance. i will never hold a grudge against a child for being scared and hurt and so so so so angry at the unfairness of the world.

my issues with it arise from the way it just... doesn't... make sense. if susie was truly so horrible to kris, why were they so quick to trust her? hell, why was she so eager to be their friend? there should be a hell of a lot more tension between them. the things susie said to kris were genuinely pretty awful and can't be swept under the rug Just Like That.

it also completely contradicts the way chapter 1 is set up, where we slowly piece together that susie never actually bullied anyone. sure, the way the blog post is written makes it sound like she only went after kris when they were alone, but that kind of visceral hate isn't going to go completely unnoticed. i mean, noelle picked up on it before seeing the classroom incident, yeah? i feel like someone would have said something. and i feel like MK especially would have made one off-hand comment about how much susie seems to hate kris Specifically instead of just repeatedly saying that they've never seen her actually do anything bad, but, b-but, BUT she still sucks kris lol.

also, noelle's "i always thought susie can't be that bad!" comment makes noooooooo fucking sense if she saw this unfold. because she literally saw that yeah. she's that bad.

it puts kris and susie's current easy natural loving friendship in a very weird light, and i very much dislike how many people are jumping to accept it. yes, i also love depth in characters' relationships. i love layers and complexities and tensions.

depth =/= toxic. and that's what this blog post does. it makes it toxic. it makes noelle's crush on susie toxic and uncomfortable as well. (seriously: "maybe i should buy apple shampoo so she bullies me instead? XD" ?????????????)

now you will note that i said i am Tentatively bonking toby over the head with a hammer. there is another reason why i don't like people jumping to incorporate this whole mess into their understanding of kris and susie's friendship:

... how do you know this is a scene from our game's current timeline?

it's pretty obvious deltarune has some fuckery going on irt timelines and resets similarly to undertale. on that same note, i've always loved how quickly susie and kris Click, but it has always made me raise an eyebrow. because that is not two teens slowly realizing they have more common ground than they thought and slowly letting their guards down around each other. that is two already best friends reuniting.

the way i've come to understand it is this: in the very, very, very first instance of "deltarune", it took kris and susie a very long time to become friends. BECAUSE of what happened in the classroom and whatever else. they only began to trust each other a heartbeat away from the end of the world. and then they fail. and then the timeline resets. and they do it again.

and the... feelings, the vague memories and the déjà vu. they linger. distantly, susie remembers a time when they were almost friends. and as the timelines go on, again and again, they just build up. things begin to change. their stories become brighter and brighter, despite ultimately ending in the tragedy that [gaster] wishes to prevent. until we get to this point where susie feels like she should be furious with kris for Something, but she can't bring herself to. and thus our current timeline, the beginning of Our Game, is born.

i stand by my theory that kris and susie's friendship will be what prevents the roaring or the angel's heaven or whatever other apocalyptic events ralsei decides to tell us about later. the red soul's intervention has nothing to do with it. they have lived countless lives together. they know now, just intrinsically, that there's no one they can trust more than each other. they are best friends till the end.

and by god is it going to be a happy one.

toby still gets a bonk over the head if this is the case btw because i ultimately disagree with using "ogh. timelines." as character development but i'll accept it if it means this stupid blog post isn't real (anymore). otherwise, he is going to need to pull some fucking magic out of his ass to explain this properly to me because it literally demolishes 2 chapters of build up and development ABFNDBDKGKFGKFJKGKDG 👍🏾

#i love deltarune very much but i do think toby's writing in many aspects is lacking #ESPECIALLY in terms of timelines and the red soul and player involvement and like. whatever. perhaps he will tie it all in by ch7 but... #as of now that is both undertale and deltarune's biggest weakness. you can twist however you want #but a from a purely canonical viewpoint it doesn't make sense. it Doesn't. we are all extrapolating and guessing and it's annoying #toby is amazing at characters and character interactions and humor and relationships. he is not so amazing at the . meta nonsense. #i'm serious ddlc is the only game that i've played that handled the incorporation of the literal player decently #everyone else just does this weird unexplained confusing Mess and uhghhh. stop itttt stop trying to be 'cool' and 'smart' #just letyour stories be stories. they are real enough as they are. i promise. #anyways... yeah this wasn't it #mailbox

[oscill4te]

rambles bi stuff

.

ok i put a readmore bc shame lmao but i still wanna keep the post up

i wish the stag/doe thing that bi ppl on tumblr (i think around 2019?) were tryna make happen years ago actually became a thing and took off. i know i can just call myself masc, it works just fine tbh. but stag is such a cool word which is why i lament that it didnt take off lmao. could you imagine? such a fun dynamic and very creative imo. anyway heres old ass art i made for it. a stag and her doe. mourn with me.

#if anyone is confused; bi women basically were trying to make our own terms for describing our feminity or masculinity #w/o taking from lesbians bc it feels disrespectful to be bi and call urself butch for instance (imo) #just bc bi women did in the past due to lack of community doesnt mean we still should now yknow. thats my opinion however. #i think this was an awesome thing it just didnt take off. also to my knowledge i heard that people seemed to have an issue w it which sucks #oh well #anyway i love masc bi women w all my heart <3 #txt #bi tag #may delet elater bc i get ashamed talking about bi stuff sometimes. its a me problem :P

[mylonelydreaming]

Since some people want to get on my case (despite apparently not knowing Japanese themselves) for how I explained "tadaima", here's several people explaining it more or less the exact same way I did:

As you can see, it is used 99% of the time with people who you live with and/or have a close relationship to.

#This is even the case for when it was used in another game I love Kingdom Hearts 2 #because Destiny Islands is their home and they grew up there together #so yes. #it does imply they share a home/that they are each other's home/close relationship #I was literally taught Japanese by a Japanese woman I'm not pulling stuff out of thin air or trying to say japanese is more spiritual #however like many languages words DO carry more meaning than in english that is untranslatable. #there are words in french and german that can't truly be translated to english #it's not saying a language is more spiritual and deep to point out that fact #totk discourse #however yes the house pronouns/lack of is a poor argument due to the name of the well #but that hardly matters when cohabitation is still strongly implied by all the other evidence

[katyspersonal]

I respect your opinions and especially the way you defend your right to express them online, I don’t support people trying to shoo you away from the fandom in such horrible ways, but that one post you made about “me” on anon trying to support the artist that wanted to start making YouTube videos is kinda hurtful. I didn’t have any ill intentions and wasn’t trying to imply that their queerness is the ONLY thing that’s interesting about their takes, it was just that: a few simple words of support meant for specifically this person, that I thought of while typing that anon ask, I knew they won’t interpret it the way you do and didn’t see any problem with it. I’ve been following this artist for years and I really liked them as a person (they even used to be my tumblr crush) and as a creator, and yes, the fact that they take into account less common interpretations (aka lgbt headcanons) is ONE OF THE THINGS I appreciate about them. I feel like you overreacted too much and projected onto“me” things you have been resenting about people who hurt you and claimed they did it for righteous reasons. Just because I share their enjoyment of “queer interpretations” of my hyperfixation doesn’t mean I hate cishet people and think their interpretations are automatically “lesser”. I even distanced myself from certain people in the fandom BECAUSE I saw how hypocritically they treated you and it made me feel unsafe in this space. Sorry for accidentally digging out this post that you made about “me”, not suspecting that the anon that angered you isn’t one of the people who dogpiled you and that maybe they even enjoys some of your content. I don’t want to start drama with you, I just got jumpscared by realizing that you’re talking about ME in one of your opinionated posts and, I admit, felt personally attacked for things I never even meant to imply. I’m just as autistic and chronically online as you and take petty and unimportant things personally. I don’t want to be your enemy is what I’m trying to say. Have a nice day!

It was very surprising to wake up to this, and thank you so much for reaching out about this. I will add the post about my reaction for the context:

This is true that re-reading this post now sounds like I've made some very strong assumptions about you. You told that artist to make their own lore videos because "we need more queer voices in BB/DS/ER analysis videos", and the way I interpreted it? ...yeah the post IS here on how. I don't want to vague, so here for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about, witness my anger in all its ugliness. /srs "Projecting" my own bad experiences, as well as just a very unlikeable trend I do see in the fandom, is an understatement: I straight up assumed that you were possibly one of the people who at least agreed with slander, and yes, my already pre-existing paranoia has grown x4 times stronger after all the stalking and harassment. I don't think there is a way to heal and go back on always assuming the worst unless I distance from the fandom for a year or so, but unfortunately, engaging in a special interest is a bit too crucial for me as a person. It is like if I have a poor eyesight and special interest is my glasses, and sure as hell 'irl fandom group' is not a thing in my city, or even country, so

All this is the context to specify that I can't promise that "now I've learned my lesson to never assume something about strangers online and will never do it again :333". Because this is just too late. I'd say that "at least I should not post these assumptions publicly", but by coming to me to talk about you've healed a grudge that has been bothering me, whereas if I just kept it in private I'd still feel angry. So, in the end, posting it publicly.... helps? Because it found you, even if odds were small, kinda like tossing bottle in the sea and it actually being picked up by someone.

I am still sorry for hurting you so, it is not a normal situation. THE lesson I should carry from it is, "maybe the person I am assuming things about thought the rest of the context was self-explanatory". You already feel unsafe in the fandom like you said, and I really regret that I've added to this anxiety (even if by different reason and context). I used to love that artist a lot and they were crucial part of my enjoyment in the fandom. Hopefully they did start to make videos, though. We do need more people to do analysis, just that, the identity of the one that does them should never matter. By your message you meant that thanks to that, their analyses would be able to feature readings like transgenderism and gay feelings, when people that do not experience either would simply most likely not read them in the story, and it should have been obvious from the start without an explanation. But you know how it is 🤝 autism, right.

I still value that you found me approachable enough to address the post directly and explain, and I am sorry. It is a no brainer that I no longer have hard feelings. You helped me with this a lot, but I don't have a way to help you back besides declaring my assumptions 100% invalid. I hope this will still work.

#ask replies #fandomry rambles #personal #(ish) #I don't know how to apologise because every time I tried and did feel genuine they got picked apart for detecting the signs of- #-'not taking accountability uwu'. again WHO I am explaining this to? you literally just said you saw how those people think hahah #but yes that taught me that dissecting the situation (for lack of better term) is more helpful than trying to undo the harm #I know I can't take back the anxiety you've endured because of my overreacting. it is now set in history however small moment. #and I do feel bad about it. #but I am glad that you addressed it directly in my face. okay on anon actually but you are genuine so it counts.