#Not Dragon Age We Swears It

[felassan]

remember that wild Dragon Age theme park ride (Dragon Age: Flight of the Wardens), originally located in Dubai until it randomly turned up years later (now also oddly-rebranded as "[Not Dragon Age We Swears It]: The Guardian") in, of all places, Skegness England? well, I had to satisfy my curiosity and obsession with obscure pieces of Dragon Age media & archival thereof. and so - actually quite some time ago now - I finally got around to going on a pilgrimage there (which was this whole, like.. heinous harrowing in and of itself, that I will not go into), and I rode it

and to my surprise the original Dragon Age in-ride movie is still part of the ride experience! - complete with references to darkspawn, a Pride demon, dragons, green "rifts", Discount Anders (a Grey Warden[?] mage called 'Eldron'), Discount Yavanna (a Witch of the Wilds called 'Alexia') and Dragon Age: Inquisition soundtrack music. there is also now a new pre-ride movie which replaces the old Dragon Age pre-ride movie as part of the ride's rebranding, and i simply ?¿?

there are also still quite a lot of identifiable Dragon Age props in the fantasy-themed queue-area of the ride (so these must have been part of the whole purchase between parks), including multiple iconic Inquisitor helmets, Grey Warden shields, a Dragon Age dragon (now with DA-dragon identifiable horns.. sawn off??), and several Dragon Age banners, including the Inquisition hairy eyeball, the templar symbol and the Circle symbol. here's some pictures.

[^this image is taken from the video linked below]

I also captured the new pre-ride movie, and you can see it along with the Dragon Age in-ride movie here ⬇️. and so now, with this epilogue to the.. most odyssey of all time, more than two years after the first message about the ride was ever sent to Ghil Dirthalen, this adventure in obscurity and the strange fever-dream meta story of the Dragon Age: Flight of the Wardens era in Dragon Age history is finally complete.

Ghil Dirthalen: The Guardian??? {Overview. - Spoilers All}

[video source & link: Ghil Dirthalen, posted here w/ permission]

some further notes, thoughts and commentary under the cut -

there's a few seconds missing from this capture of the in-ride movie. for the sake of the curious and completion: in them, you're still in the fort and you see lots of 'Wardens' walking and milling around.

a camera in the ride takes two photos of the riders during the ride, which are displayed on a screen on the way out. you can choose to buy these from the Fantasy Island merchandise store. you know those photos of people on log flume rides? it's like those, only of the four riders in a row in the seats. the photos have Fantasy Island branding on them and fire along the bottom, then in two corners there's a bit of a dragon's head and that's about it. the ride photo is the only Guardian-specific merch available at the park.

some of the queue area props appear to be from random other places. like there was a barrel which had something like "1850 distillery" written on it, which is obviously temporally/thematically and universe-ly out of place (not that that's at all unreasonable given the rest of the rideworld lore, there's totally a way it could have gotten there easily hh, see below), and I guess it's a spare or leftover prop from a Western-themed ride or something? others were generic sword'n'sorcery fantasy props (some of these are from the ride's previous life in Dubai though). there are also some pretty random props, like a dead stuffed roe deer's head on the wall and a.. comically large spoon.

there's music playing in the queue area, but it's not DA music, it's generic ye olde fantasy world music.

some folks there mistakenly thought that the long themed lead-up (it was pretty darn long) queue area with the props was the entrance to or start of something completely different, like a haunted house or maze type thing, or was the ride 'experience' in and of itself.

the ride attendant gives you the option of watching the new pre-ride movie or not. I guess they get sick of putting it on and listening to it 9000 times a day (valid), and also cutting it out reduces queue times as it's about five minutes long. it's screened in a little enclosed room at the end of the queue area. you go in and sit down, they show it to you, then you go through another door to the chair machine.

the in-ride movie is blurry and poor quality. I heard someone else who rode it say that it was so blurry that they had no idea what was going on hhh

Now about the new pre-ride movie. in the linked video, the start of the new pre-ride movie isn't included in full at normal speed as it seemed to be a compilation of whatever random fantasy-themed stock footage the video creator could find, stitched together. but again for the curious and the sake of completion: it starts out panning randomly around SPACE, like at the solar system and of planets and at the Milky Way. for a sec I wondered if it was made up of random old Mass Effect assets. then it shows dragons (FROM SPACE) invading an Earth-like planet where I suppose the Ferelden-y kindgom (formerly called "Noathen", now called "Elvia" or something) setting in the rideworld is now supposed to be set. these invading dragons invade either from space or.. another dimension?? or maybe from the future or both?? [see below], entering through a big green rift. (and they still have the green coloring for the rifts and call it/them "rifts" like in DA, which was honestly so funny to me for some reason). the whole panning in from space start to the movie reminded me a lot of the Easter eggs in the DA and ME games that, while they're just Easter eggs for fun and I don't subscribe to this theory myself (as DA is its own great, self-contained thing), could light-heartedly imply that the planet with Thedas on it is a planet in the MEverse (like the krogan head in the Winter Palace in DAI or the ogre in that ME dlc).

in the pre-ride movie, the kingdom of "Elvia" might have actually been called "Albion", which is the earliest-known name for the island of Britain. (it was hard to make out exactly what the king was saying there) the new pre-ride movie seems like it was made in England and ofc thats a common fantasy setting, so I could see it, especially since the king character's name was something like Aethylswyth, which sounded very "Old English". for me personally, if it was "Albion", it adds fuel to the fire of Caitie's cracktheory/"trying to make this fit"-headcanon for the ride story/lore (see Caitie's original video on the ride's previous life for this), that it's set somewhere obscure and backwatery in Ferelden, which is kinda England- or Britain-inspired. (dont take these thoughts or other thoughts in this post about the lore/canon etc too srsly pls hh, it's just crack for fun and I know tis just an off-brand themepark ride)

on the whole the new pre-ride movie is pretty random. there's a giant in it, but it doesn't look like a DAI giant. (is it his big spoon??) it shows a fortress in part of it which looks a bit like Skyhold if you squint, with the long bridge approaching it as the entrance. at one point one of the dragons that pops up is a dragon designed more in the style of a dragon as they are sometimes depicted in, for example, Chinese mythology and folklore. the "communication device" the king described had me rolling, it's exactly like a Dragon Age Skype Crystal or a working set of eluvians from Thedas.. I wondered if the video creator was inspired some by DAI promo images and took cues from the Inquisitor's green hand/the Anchor, since the king has a green glowing thing on (or in?) his chest. and when the king started listing the elements humans are made of, I was reminded of Fullmetal Alchemist.

also, "through a time rift".. I mean technically Dorian's involvement in DAI DOES show green space-time magic right? Where is this other dimension? ofc I know it's not literally Dragon Age, but it's funny to think about and to try and make it "fit" skhskdhfjhe. is it the Fade? the Void? from somewhere in-between like Tevinter Nights implies exists? or is it the dimension which has Thedas's mundane world itself in it - like maybe the dragons are invading this poor guy's kingdom dimension from Thedas? if so what tf is going on in Thedas?? did Solas' explosion at the Conclave ripple through spacetime and rip holes in the fabrics of other worlds as well - like is Solas out here accidentally causing interdimensional Space Dragon invasions? like, theoretically.. the new pre-ride move does reference the in-ride movie, and in turn the in-ride movie is still Dragon Age (!), so technically the new pre-ride movie IS.. kind of.. weirdly.. canon.

((the pre-ride movie references an "outerworld", implying that even in THAT dimension there's an outer world and an inner world, definitely more than one at least. and back on the dimensions thing, I'm not clear - are the dragons coming from Thedas dimension? or are they coming to Thedas dimension? "they came through the rift, human in form but with powers, the ability to fly [that's Eldron] and the ability to transform into dragon-like creatures [that's Alexia]" implies that the dimension on the other side of the rift - if the helpers came through the same rift as the invading dragons - is Thedas, because that's Eldron and Alexia from the Dragon Age in-ride movie being referred to, and Noathen where they're from is in Thedas somewhere. so some Thedosians have travelled to another world to save it?? Dragons are escaping out of Thedas? but.. from space? but also - the narration is telling us that Eldron and Alexia and the other Guardians brought with them from where they came from, as a gift, incredible advanced technology that the people of Elvia have never seen before. he then gives the example of "this communication device" which could be read meta-ly as meaning the television screen, and of plans to build a machine made of metal and advanced technology (meaning the ride machine you go sit on, which is a themepark machine irl obviously and in the 'world' of the ride, some kind of flying machine). so like.. are Eldron and Alexia from Future Thedas (think Avatar Aang/Korra, when by Korra's time there's like lots more machinery and a more modern feel), a Thedas which has advanced complex machines like idk, AEROPLANES? is that what they mean by "time-rift"? because they specifically did say "time". is that to try and explain the modern machinery? does that mean the invading dragons also came from the future, not just from space or another dimension? the other option: Eldron and Alexia came from alternate universe Thedas, which has more modern technology in it. but Thedosians Time-Travelling From The Future And Also Space And Another Dimension is so funny to me so lets go with that. my headcanon is that on the way to Elvia they also timetravelled through a Westernthemed time period and thats why theres a recent-modern period whisky barrel)).

in the ride's previous life, the explanatory hook was that Eldron made you a special harness or saddle thing with which to ride a dragon, which was what the ride machine was simulating. however now, the hook to explain the machine is that it's a gift of advanced technology powered by carbon, hydrogen, organic matter (Big Oil lmao?) etc. (I enjoyed that this explanatory hook got wackier between eras of the ride's life, much like the whole meta story of this piece of media itself. it was already weird because riding dragons isn't really part of DA. though I don't understand meta-ly speaking this convoluted explanation for the machine. dragon-riding isn't an identifiable or key part of the Dragon Age franchise, so they could have kept the idea that you're sitting on a dragon's back and flying around on that in instead of having this wacky explanation about a flying machine gifted from magical strangers from Back To The Future and it would have been fine. I love it though bc its so absurd)

And Tiny Dragon Alexia from the original ride experience is kinda referenced (unintentionally?) when the king introduces the dragon "Guardian" "Mia", as when she comes on-screen her size or scaling looks small/kinda off, so maybe Tiny Dragon lives on. so now we have Tiny Dragon Alexia, Tiny Dragon Mia, and Tiny Dragon queue prop. it's a Tiny Dragon Conference.

and like I just have so many questions. in her original video on the ride, Ghil Dirthalen wondered at length where in Ferelden/Thedas Noathen could be. where is Elvia? why does the pov of the pre-ride movie proceed downstairs into the room where the king is - like why does the king have his throne in a basement? is he in an underground bunker for safety because of the Space Dragon invasion? why does he say we "climbed" up when we have just gone down into his dungeon? why is the tiny dragon introduced as "Mia" when the tiny dragon witch lady in the in-ride movie is called "Alexia"? does the king's green glowing chest thing work like the Anchor - does he have a chest Anchor.. a Chanchor? where did they get Discount Gandalf from the queue area and why is he exactly like the Ghil Dirthalen Stock Theatre Wizards in her original video? why did they change the kingdom's name from "Noathen" to "Elvia" in the pre-ride movie when "Noathen" was already non-existent in Dragon Age lore? why did they scrub Dragon Age from or avoid Dragon Age in the pre-ride movie but leave the whole Dragon Age in-ride movie intact? are the "Guardians" Discount Grey Wardens? is the king's whole schpeel secretly an evil plot so he that can use our bodies for like necromancy-alchemy? why does the ride run on your flesh and are we about to be sacrificed in a blood magic ritual? do we end up like the husks in Mass Effect after our organic forms are broken down into compounds to fuel the King of Elvia's flying anti-dragon defense tank? is the actor of the king a park staffer who is into larping, or someone's fun nerd uncle who likes DnD? does Caitie not in fact agree that I am very handsome and smart, indeed the World's Most Interesting Guy? 😤 why go to the trouble of sawing off the dragon's DA-dragon horns when the in-ride movie is still Dragon Age?? why are the dragons invading from space anyway like what do they want??? how can I obtain the king actor guy's autograph? where are EA's lawyers? and why is there a giant spoon?

#dragon age #Not Dragon Age We Swears It #bioware #solas #video games #lul #long post #longpost #gpoy #mj and the world #saveserault #mass effect #(shoutout to the DA Archivists) #thanku to ghil for her vids and for permission to post this video here #this whole episode in my life and in the DA fandom feels like a strange shared fever dream. was that real? am i? is Skegness? is DA4? r WE? #lmaoo #skegness the swampy ass crack of england #Fantasy Island - where dreams go to die (but fever dreams live on) #(cant believe one of the pretend Wardens from Ghil Dirthalen's Eldron's fake Warden cult was literally there irl at Fantasy Island. im ded) #and if u are reading this thinking wat the heck fel r u ok its just a rebranded themepark ride like calm down its not That Deep #i grasp ur collar and raise you that #in the time between dai and DA:D i have fully lost my mind #what dragon age does to a guy #while we wait for dragon age 4 this is the plot of dragon age 4 #on my knees constructing elaborate headcanons about and trying to make sense of a Not dragon age theme park ride #surrealism.txt

[sharpshootingbucky]

Me trying to find matt mercer throughout dragon age absolution

#i swear i heard that man do like 4-5 voices #he she we matt mercer #dragon age #dragon age absolution #he was a one man show good for him #critical role #has trained me for this

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

there's a lot to be said (and have been already said) about narrative differences and similarities between Sera and Solas

but I just had a thought:

it's bloody interesting that one thing that Sera emphasizes is her hatred of pride (particularly one that's stupid or hurts people)

while Solas is, in some senses quite literally (it's in the name), the embodiment of it

isn't it?

#da posting #dragon age #sentences that feel mighty weird to type during june ahah #related to the post: pity we didn't see the companions' reactions to Solas's plans at the end of Trespasser #if my Inquisitor is fuming at the whole 'stupid prideful thing' Solas has going on with his inability to stop #then I'm pretty sure Sera didn't have one non-swear word to say about it

[chialattea]

today I dreamt da4 came out and it had a wlw tal vashoth romance option but they’d gone and made her dainty and petite and I was so pissed off I immediately woke up with the biggest migraine I’ve ever suffered

#da4 #dragon age #I swear to god if that happens I’ll burst a vein #IF WE DONT GET FEMALE 7FT BURLY TAL VASHOTH LOVE INTEREST #THEN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT #(points at Iron Bull) my problem is he isn’t a men of wö #I. WANT. GIANT. WOMEN #at this point I try not to think on whether it’ll actually be a good game I’m playing this shit regardless #dragon age fire emblem and rune factory I’ll take you three to my grave #I can’t fucking believe the game actually… exists #will exist at least #as in we’ll actually be able to play it??? this year???? #insane #I am beating solas to death with a hammer (slightly affectionate) #(dreamily) isabella appearance….. #i love women

[shivunin]

In Any Life

Maria Hawke/ Fenris | 21,734 Words | Completed Summary: When Fenris leaves for Tevinter, he and Hawke promise to stay in contact. Unfortunately, their letters go astray almost immediately. As always, I recommend checking the tags on AO3 before you dive in!

Excerpt:

29 Wintermarch, 9:41 Dragon

Hawke, 

I can only assume that something has gone wrong. 

Months without word from you, when I had expected to find volumes, can only mean that something has gone wrong. I have written to Varric and Isabela in case the error lies in Ferelden somewhere. I'll know more if their responses reach me. To be safe, I will attempt to hide this in someone else’s shipment of mail. 

If someone is intercepting these letters, I assure you that you will regret it. 

I wish I could find the words to explain what has happened here, Hawke. When I’d had word that Danarius’s devices had been found, might be used again, I knew I could not remain in a world where they existed. It is far worse than that. I wish I could tell you; you would certainly have something to say that would make sense of it all. 

I had thought to be home before the new year began, but I know now that I will be several months longer at least. I am sorry. I did not mean to mislead you. 

Write back, Hawke. I cannot return to you yet, but

Write back. Please. 

—Fenris

Read more

#i swear i meant to post a link when i first posted this sdfakj but here we are #fenhawke #fenris #fenris dragon age #maria hawke #da fanfic #shivunin scrivening #posting this in chapters was funny bc i have more than one one-shot that're longer than this whole fic #but here we are!! and it's done!! hooray! #long post #just in case

[juniemoe]

 ANVIL OF THE VOID;

caridin: you have my eternal thanks, stranger. atrast nal tunsha... may you always find your way in the dark.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #da:o #daedit #vgedit #warden surana #yennefre #vilnaedits #vg: dragon age #ch: surana #video games #oc: ashara #sorry for having a boring neutral good oc sjkjsksj #i literally always make the same choices #next time i swear i'll mix things up a bit #i promise!! #ALSO i just really wish we knew more about and of dwarven language i love it sm

[bisexualmultifandommess]

*Hawke consistently shows a dislike of Blood Magic and always tells Merrill to reconsider in her quests*

Merrill:

#like do you have memory loss or something?? #why are you surprised we say no every time lmao #I swear to god I love her but jesus she can be so frustrating #dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #dragon age series #dragon age memes #memes #marian hawke #female hawke #merrill #dragon age merrill

[sweetmage]

⚠️Trigger Warning: Vaguely Implied/Referenced Past SA (undescribed)

▫️Tags: Trauma, Angst, Strained Friendships, Arguments

▫️Characters: Ser Roderick Gilmore, Edan Cousland, Arl Rendon Howe (referenced)

▫️Word Count: 914

▫️Summary: Sinking deeper into the all-consuming spiral of vengeance, Edan Cousland desired nothing more than to see Howe pay for the pain he and his men inflicted on the people of castle Cousland, including his dearest friend Roderick. However, in his quest to keep the flames of his rage alive, sometimes the very person he hoped to help and avenge becomes collateral.

⭐Read On AO3! (Or under the cut!)

"You know, you make that face a lot," Edan remarked as he approached Roderick near the campfire, his eyes tracing the hard set lines between his furrowed brow, the sharp, downward slope of his thin-pressed lips.

Roderick snapped to attention as though suddenly awoken from a trance. "And what face would that be?"

"Like you've just tasted sour meat or something," Edan responded, plopping down beside him on the strewn-out blanket, stretching his legs and leaning back on his hands. "I take it something's on your mind?"

He shrugged. "You could say that."

"And would you say?" Edan asked, gazing at him while he stared vacantly off into the distance. "Care to discuss?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Hm, well alright then... In that case, I think I have an inkling. Rest assured my friend, your suffering will not go unavenged. When the time is right, we will face that slimy bastard together and—"

Sighing forcefully, Roderick waved off his valiant speech. "Right, right... Howe, I get it. In due time, my Lord, in due time."

Edan fell silent, watching him for a moment in the firelight. He looked positively miserable, dark circles under those hollow, rheumy eyes of his, all pale skin and sunken cheeks.

"Everything alright, my Lord?" Roderick spoke after an uncomfortably long silence. "You look like you want to ask me something."

"Oh, how observant! As a matter of fact, there was something I was wondering about..."

Roderick didn't turn, but his eyes drifted in Edan's direction, urging him to continue.

"I heard you didn't sleep soundly last night. That is, I heard it. You sounded very distressed, I almost thought to tear my way into your tent to check on you but I feared frightening you more.” He scratched at the back of his head, gathering himself for a moment before he dared to continue.  “It was hard to make out all of it, but you spoke of a few things… some things you haven’t yet told me." Edan leaned forward slightly, his expression grim. "Would you care to tell me any further details? Might that help ease your troubles?"

Roderick shook himself free of another memory, face contorted into something unreadable. "I've spoken as much of my ordeal as I am able to."

"And yet there's still so much I don't know," Edan continued, voice softening ever-so-slightly. "I cannot imagine what could be worse than what you've already imparted upon me."

"For your own sake, I'd recommend you don't try. There are cruelties in this world no man should know, even in their imagination. You should be thankful for that, my Lord."

He waved away the sentiment with a flick of his hand. "I don't need to be spared. You lived it and you're still standing, I think I could handle a simple recounting of the events."

Roderick's posture stiffened as if pulled taut by a string while his expression fell sullen. He turned away from Edan completely, glaring into the surrounding darkness, arms crossed tightly over his chest. Through gritted teeth, he replied, "I don't see what you could possibly gain from knowing the ins and outs of how they humiliated and defiled me. Must I recount every detail of my torment?"

"Defiled?" He asked, unnerved by his choice of words and what they unfortunately confirmed. "So what I overheard while you were dreaming... Rory, I'm so sorry..."

"Are you really?" he bit back. "This was what you wanted to hear, was it not? Has that information satisfied you?"

"No!" Edan was so tremendously appalled that he could hardly get the word out. "How could I ever be satisfied knowing my dearest friend has faced something so dreadful, so inhumane... I'm sickened if anything." And enraged beyond that. Another tally against Howe, another reason he wished to see him shredded to ribbons, knowing even an ounce of the pain he had inflicted on the poor people of castle Cousland, on his beloved family, on Rory...

"Huh, that’s funny," Roderick retorted, lips curled into a sneer. "For someone so disgusted you sure seek it out like a maid in the market seeks gossip. I think there are more pressing matters ahead of us like, oh I don't know, the darkspawn? Perhaps you should focus on that instead."

Wincing at Roderick's icy tone, Edan took a deep breath before continuing. "Alright then, perhaps I've pushed too far."

"Perhaps you have," he agreed curtly.

"And... I'm sorry," Edan spoke softly, though he quickly added, "But can you really blame me? The thought that you, you of all people , suffered such great horrors at the hands of that... that monster .... it boils my blood. The more I learn about what Howe and his wretched men did to you, the more I wish to see them suffer. To make those sick, sorry bastards pay for what they've done. And they will pay." He was lost in his own head now, bringing his fist down into his open palm as he swore to his ideals. Roderick went quiet again, staring off into the distant forest with a pained expression. "If you'll excuse me," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "I think I need to be alone for a while." Rising swiftly to his feet, he shambled off towards his tent without a single look back.

Edan could only watch as he left, confused and concerned at his abrupt departure, but more certain now than he'd ever been about what he must do.

#tw: sa mention #dragon age #dragon age origins #ser gilmore #cousland #ser gilmore npc #oc: edan #jun fics #idk if it comes up in the mod at all but I realized you can keep pushing Rory to discuss his trauma even when he's not ready #of course I choose them simply to get the lore but I often have Edan swear to get revenge for him afterwards #and he's just like “please never make me talk about this again :')” #so far he's never gotten truly angry or shut him down over it but idk I think he should and has the right so here we are

[sandwichmustbetasty]

Alright, so I have somewhat weird request, but... Any Raleigh Samson x Warden fics out there? I swear, this man lives in my head rent free. Also I think it would be neat if warden adopted themselves a washed out, pathetic ex-templar. 

It could be before Corypheus. Literally 2 hours ago I had this insanely vivid scenario playing in my head for absolutely no reason - Warden somehow ending up in Kirkwall, taking a stroll in the darktown taking one look at that drown-rat man and going: i’m taking him with me.

On more depressing note I immadiately stared to think how my Amell could be able to help Samson with lyrium whitdrawal, slowly weaning him off, so that in time of Inquisition he would be clean and strong again. I feed on angst and hurt/comfort so yeah, the whole recovery process would be great to witness.

But oh boy, I sidetracked a bit, but my main point still stands. Is there in the whole wide universe a Samson/Warden fic? It would literally made my day.

Also, here’s a crappy meme for attention

#dragon age #da2 #raleigh samson #red templars #lyrium #warden #fanfiction #samson #i swear fic with them would make me insanely happy #also #i'm currently during exams #my boi raleigh should be the last thing i focus on #but here we are i guess

[crossdressingdeath]

Time for Positive Things About DAI: I do like that the game lets you interject in some of the party banters. One of my biggest complaints about the party banters in the other games was that it never really felt like my character was... part of it, you know? It's nice to hear your companions actually talking to each other and interacting without you, don't get me wrong, but it always feels like soldiers in the back ranks chit-chatting as they follow their commander more than a group of friends hanging out (with you included in the group). Little things like the opportunity to teasingly defuse one of Blackwall and Dorian's arguments or the chance to respond with embarrassment (or glee) when other companions start grilling your LI about your relationship just gives more of a sense that you're a group of friends rather than a commanding officer and their subordinates when you're walking around the world. Being able to respond like a person would to some of the conversations that your companions are having, especially the ones involving you or involving tension in the group, and especially being able to choose how you respond like it's any other conversation with a companion, is just a really nice addition to the party banter system! More of that in DA4, please!

#dragon age inquisition #also can da4 please give us at least one 'stop arguing i swear i'll turn this party around' interjection #every game has had at least one banter that could've benefited from an 'i'll turn this party around' interjection #it is time to give us one #it's odd because dai is generally the worst at making you and your companions feel like FRIENDS rather than coworkers #but things like banter interjections and the wicked grace cutscene are some of the best group interactions in the series #in those very specific areas dai is actually i'd argue the BEST at making the group feel like friends #they feel very natural and casual and like an extension of the group dynamic! #(just ignore how we don't really SEE that group dynamic outside of those scenes)

[kiwiwinjindouche]

guys i neED TO KNOW

For science (no)

Does it look good?? Isn't it a bit too much out of character?

I mean my best friend and I both think he looks stunning but it seems too he's another character and not just Jindosh, kind of?

But this haircut sure looks fine

Idk what to do with this (apart from another OC maybe but oops teehee)

#dagyne_rambles #What is not helping is #I finally started this rpg dating sim where we kill dragons and such #Wait I mean Dragon Age but dating Dorian is my only goal there #Dorian my beloved #I swear the mustache and haircut and gay middle aged man pattern is showing a lot lately #Anyway

[dolores-slay]

I fully own up to the fact that I would like Solas if everything about him was the exact same except he was bi. One of those cases where not being bi actually makes no lore sense and takes away from a character sorry not sorry.

#I still would not romance him probably but #extremely weak of bw making him het and even weaker with the 'reason' they gave #'we didn't want to fall into a stereotype' and then make iron bull #no offense to iron bull ofc #but there's so many stereotypes about bi people you're bound to fall into some so just don't be a coward #dishonorary mention also to the game's weird forced gendering of the old gods wth is up with that? #I keep complaining but I like these games I swear I'm just spicy like this #dragon age

[necromancer-nonbinary]

Chapter 9. We almost have all the Wardens by now

#xander writes #we cannot outrun this story #wcots #dragon age #dragon age: origins #on god i'm gonna get more of zusana's section written today. i swear

[monzabee]

third time's the charm (social media au) - mv1

masterlist

Summary: The one where you are there to celebrate Max winning his third title, and the whole world is there to witness it.

Pairing: max verstappen x reader (model used: mun ka young)

Warnings: none other than some cursing, internet being the internet

Request: "First of, in love with your social media au works. Could you do one with Max where reader is a K-pop idol (solo) and one of the biggest artist both in Korea and internationally, ever since she debuted (early-middle 2010s) she's been associated/sponsored by Red Bull. So she and Max have secretly been together for a year or two until someone caught Max in Korea and everything starts unfolding. (Ps. fully understand if you aren't able too❤️)"

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

ynofficial

Liked by yg_ent_official, iconnews, jennyrubyjane and 982,927 others

ynofficial: excited for this weekend's schenanigans, can you guess where i'm heading?

jennyrubyjane: not la??😿

ynofficial: 아니, 곧 만나러 갈게 약속할게😭

user: is it paris? new york? london? THE OPPORTUNITIES ARE ENDLESS

redbullracing: can't wait to have you with us again!

ynofficial: 감사합니다 🥹🫶

user: SHE'S GOING TO A F1 RACE, AGAIN??

user: she's just like me i swear

comments on this post have been limited

ynylnfans

Liked by kpopworld, ynnews, and 325,746 others

ynylnfans: Y/N at the airport this morning, going to the qatar gp!

user: the queen of airport looks😭

user: love the way she makes that ludicrously capacious bag work🫡

user: oh to be y/n and travel the world while looking this good

view all 6,625 comments

user: see everyone is sad because we have to share her with the f1 girlies but i'm just glad we're getting looks

user: her fashion game on race weekends have been on point

ynofficial posted a story!

ynofficial posted a story!

ynofficial tagged location: losail international circuit

Liked by maxverstappen1, ynylnfans, f1wagss and 827,637 others

ynofficial: how does the saying go again? third time's the charm✌️☝️

user: no way, no actual way

user: have you not seen her story...

user: i knew she was a red bull girl, but i didn't know she was THE red bull girl😭

user: okay but when is the new album dropping?? the kids need music

the comments on this post has been limited

maxverstappen1

Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, ynofficial and 836,547 others

maxverstappen1: the past couple of days with ms yln

user: i'm so confused right now🤨

user: where is the race content and who is this man??

user: i can't believe this post just called me single in all the languages ever

ynofficial: always a pleasure🫶

maxverstappen1: ❤️

view all 21,536 comments

danielricciardo: is this why you said no to hanging out?

maxverstappen1: what do you think?

ynofficial

Liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, yg_ent_official and 998,625 others

ynofficial: date night with one mr verstappen

user: I NEED HER WARDROBE, RIGHT NOW😭

user: girl, i get that you're happy and in love, but please drop a song or something😭

ynofficial: after date night?👀

user: i never thought i'd be jealous of max verstappen but here we are

view all 32,746 comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

ynofficial: 🥹

ynofficial

Liked by yg_ent_official, iconnews, jennyrubyjane and 982,927 others

ynofficial: third time's the charm. out this friday. enjoy🤭

user: OH I KNEW IT

user: i can't believe we're getting a song about sid from ice age

user: sid and the dragon babies

redbullracing: are we invited to the listening party?

ynofficial: of course!🥹

user: finally, it's been so long😭

maxverstappen1: oh i definitely will

ynofficial: i know you will🙃

view all 542,243 comments

user: damn, this right after the hard launch of the century??

#monzabee #formula 1 x reader #social media au #f1 social media au #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #formula one x reader #max verstappen media au

[roosterforme]

Adult Education Part 7 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Jessica can't get enough of the comfort she feels around Jake, and he can't help but press her to define what they are doing. Everything feels heated and still sweet when they hang out for the day, and when she brings up the alumni event, he's immediately onboard.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, eventually 18+

Length: 3700 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica couldn't remember the last time she felt this comfortable and confident around someone else. She had grown into the understanding that her own company was the best company for her, and especially for the past year, she had kept contact with most people to a minimum. Keeping them at a professional arm's length as much as possible. But when she was with Jake, she didn't feel like she needed to be quiet and keep her head down to survive. 

"I got pretty much every kind of snack for today," he told her as they stood in his kitchen. "Just because I don't know all of your favorites yet."

Yet. That was the second time he'd made her heart flutter like this. He also told her he was getting attached to her. And now his cheeks were a little pink as she picked up some chips and salsa.

"I told you I'm not picky as long as you have Sam Adams for me."

"I'll make sure I always have it," he promised as he took two bottles out of the refrigerator and followed her to the living room. "You relax and shout to me if anyone scores, okay?"

"Where are you going?" she asked from her spot on the couch as he set the beers down and left again. She noticed the stack of journals she'd given him were sitting near the corner of the coffee table. 

"Just going to add everything to the crockpot so we can have dinner later."

Jessica settled back into the cushions and watched him walk away, his shirt hugging his broad shoulders. He was perhaps even more handsome than Brian Conley, which was something she would have never thought possible. When she and Brian were sleeping together, she thought he was the most attractive man she'd ever seen. Ten years older. Gray hair mixed in with chestnut brown. Icy blue eyes. But now she was coming around to the idea of someone her own age, with lighter hair and pretty green eyes. 

When Jake returned a minute later and settled down right next to her, even though there was plenty of room, she asked, "How old are you?"

He took the jar of salsa from her hand and opened it as he said, "Thirty. I'd ask you how old you are, but my mom would be really disappointed if she ever learned that I did. So if you'd like to tell me, that's fine, but I'm not asking."

Jessica laughed as she opened the bag of chips and curled her legs up onto the couch so her thigh was resting on his. "How would your mom ever find out anyway?"

Jake scoffed as he scooped salsa onto a chip. "You don't think she's going to want to meet my girlfriend?" He shoved the whole thing into his mouth before grabbing more. "She'd get the information out of you somehow, I'm sure."

She sat there quietly and broke a chip in half before nibbling on it as she tried not to smile. She hadn't been in a relationship since right after grad school. Most guys didn't seem inclined to want to do more than sleep with her. Her brand of nerdy was a hard sell. She was smarter than almost everyone else, she was introverted, and she preferred playing Dungeons & Dragons or reading a book to going out. Well, excluding an evening at Chippy's. 

"I'm thirty one," she said softly with a grin. 

"Perfect," he replied, casually scooping more salsa onto a chip. "I also wouldn't be upset if you told me if you bought that green underwear you were looking at on your phone."

She started nibbling on the other half of the chip as Jake's arm rubbed hers. "Maybe." He was looking at her out of the corner of his eye before turning away from the football game completely to face her. "Okay... yes, I bought the set," she said, biting her lip. "You're missing the game."

"I don't really care about the game all that much. Like I said before, I think I've gotta be the world's worst Longhorns fan."

"You're terrible," she confirmed as he held out the jar of salsa for her. 

His gaze dipped down to her lips. "Why are you so far away?" he asked softly. 

She wanted to laugh, because she was practically sitting on his lap. Instead she leaned in and kissed his cheek as she said, "What was I thinking?" Jake's body was big and warm and cozy as he draped his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled in close to him with her cheek resting on his chest. She dipped a chip into the jar he was holding and teased him with it before she shoved it into his mouth. 

"Thanks, Baby," he murmured as he chewed it up. Then she took the jar and the chips and set them on the table and grabbed the beers instead. They sat cuddled up, sipping the drinks, and Jake was actually less annoying when the Longhorns scored than she had anticipated. She just relaxed into him as the condensation from her bottle dripped occasionally onto his jeans, but he didn't complain, so she didn't move. 

"You want another one now?" he asked, taking her empty bottle in the same hand as his and kissing her hair. 

"No," she whispered. "And don't get up. I'm comfortable."

"Okay," he replied softly, leaning forward just enough to let the bottles drop with a thud onto the area rug. 

Jessica pushed him back with her palm on his abs, and she bit her lip as she felt his muscles. "I said don't move."

"You're in charge, Reedy."

--------------------------

This was all wildly thrilling for Jake. He was with a beautiful woman who wanted to chill on his couch and run her hand back and forth across his abs while they watched football together. He never did this kind of thing. Ever. This was indulgent in a way he didn't usually operate. 

When Jessica looked up at him through her eyelashes, he reached over and adjusted her glasses. Then he felt her hand dip inside his shirt and come to rest just above his jeans, fingers stroking almost to the point of tickling. And he wasn't even watching the game. Maybe it was halftime. He wasn't sure. It didn't matter. 

Why did he suddenly want a girlfriend so badly that he kept thinking about it? He was thinking about how this could be a normal weekend for him. And how he could have Jessica curled up with him like this in bed. 

He was staring. He knew he was. But so was she. And her small hand was moving across his skin in the most addicting way. "Reedy," he whispered, and that was all it took. She planted her hand with her fingertips inside his jeans, and Jake groaned as she kissed him. When her hand slid up his abs to his chest and pulled his shirt up with it, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her until she was in his lap. 

In the deepest recesses of his brain, Jake knew he couldn't let anything too wild happen today. Just kissing. Just like this. But when he let his hand trail down to Jessica's round ass, he realized the fabric of her leggings was thin and that he could feel her thong through it. It felt lacy. He wanted to know what it looked like. 

He palmed her a little rougher, until she broke the kiss and rubbed herself against him. "Oh, Jessica," he groaned, taking in the sight of her wide eyes and crooked glasses. She was raking her fingers slowly through his chest hair while Jake squeezed her butt. He couldn't think straight as her lips met his again, and then his hand was up the back of her shirt.

Her skin was so damn soft, and Jake was not going to be able to conceal the fact that he was getting hard for her when her knee kept nudging him through his jeans. Her feather soft kisses were becoming more demanding as she brought her other hand up to ruin his tidy hair. And fuck if he could control himself. 

In an instant, she was on her back along the couch with Jake on top of her. She let out a surprised giggle as her head came to rest on the cushion. "This okay?" he asked, kissing along her jaw. 

Jessica responded by spreading her thighs so he could settle against her, and Jake had to keep reminding himself that this was a marathon, not a sprint. But her body was warm and inviting, and she was so responsive to his touch. Every gasp from her lips had him pushing his hands a little further up her sides and sucking a little harder on her neck. 

"Jake," she moaned, rolling her hips up against him. 

"Fuck," he gasped, one hand sliding between her back and the couch as he pushed himself against her this time. Her lips were parted, and she was digging her fingers into his shoulders. Jake moaned when she wrapped one leg around his hip. Her shirt was pushed up almost to her tits, and he wanted to taste all of her skin. But she pulled him close for another kiss, and Jake knew he had to pump the brakes. 

He slowed it all down, easing his hand up to her back instead of her perfect ass. He let each kiss taper off until his lips were barely brushing hers. And then he felt her leg slide down from his hip as she took his hand and guided it further up her shirt until he was touching her bra. She chased his lips as he pulled away from her, and now she looked embarrassed.

"Jessica. Not a horny quickie on the couch. Not for our first time together."

"Okay. Right," she whispered, her fingers tracing along his neck. "Do you want to go to your bedroom?"

He kissed her cheek and said, "I think we should save it for another day."

As he slowly let his hand trail down her tummy, she turned her face toward the TV and laughed a little awkwardly. "Is it that obvious that it's been a long time for me? I'm sure that's not the case for you."

He didn't quite know what to say. "No, it's not obvious. And no, you're not wrong," he murmured, his brow creasing as he leaned closer for a soft kiss. Had it really just been two weeks ago that he brought someone home from the bar? "But it has actually been a very long time since someone mattered like you do. So the pacing is kind of important to me."

"You're sweet." A pretty smile touched her lips, and then he let himself kiss her belly before pulling her up so she was sitting and looking at him. Her hair was a little messy, and her glasses were crooked again, and Jake was suddenly afraid he was going to fuck this all up. She adjusted her glasses with the backs of her fingers and leaned in to kiss him one time. 

It really was halftime now, and Jake watched her stand and look through the stack of journals on the table. Her voice was still soft and breathless as she glanced at him and asked, "Where's the one with my phone number? I wanted to show you something in the article I wrote."

Jake wanted to laugh or maybe cry. This woman thought he was smart. Well, he knew he was smart, but nobody else ever seemed to care if he was. "It's in my bedroom."

"It's in your bedroom?"

"Yeah," he replied easily. "I'm keeping that one for sure. You can have the rest of the journals back, but not that one. I worked hard for that phone number."

She giggled. "You really did. And you did great. Can I get it out of your room?"

He thought he was going to respond by telling her yes, but instead he suddenly asked, "Are you seeing anyone else?"

Now her expression was surprised as she came to stand between his spread legs, and he looked up at her. "Are you asking me if I'm meeting other men at Chippy's and during my office hours?"

Jake nodded and swallowed hard as she bent at the waist and let her hands rest on his knees. "Yeah. I'm sure Chippy would be delighted to see you with someone else."

"No," she laughed. "I'm not seeing anyone else. Are you?"

"Absolutely not."

"Good." Her hands slid up to his thighs as she kissed him, which was doing nothing to help him get rid of the awkward half erection he was sporting. "Is it cool if I grab the journal from your room?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "You'll see it in there."

When he watched her walk away, he groaned and sprawled out on the couch. He needed to pull himself together, or she would definitely be taking someone else to Chippy's soon.

-----------------------------

To Jessica's immediate delight, she found the journal on Jake's nightstand. It was even folded open to the page with her article and phone number. She picked it up and headed back to the couch where he was sprawled out now with his head propped up on the pillow. Hot, needy sex had sounded delicious twenty minutes ago when he was grinding against her, but when she looked at him right now, she knew that's not what she needed. She'd had plenty of that in Brian's office and the backseat of his SUV. 

She didn't want to think about him. Not when Jake was reaching for her hand and pulling her down on top of him like she weighed nothing. He didn't even grunt or groan as she settled chest to chest with him. Her legs were tangled with his as he wrapped his arms around her, and she tried to keep the journal from getting smashed. 

"What do you want to talk about? I think I have the whole thing memorized," he said softly, keeping his attention on her even though the second half of the game was on. 

"I wanted to show you how I wrote about your Super Hornets," she said, unable to stop smiling now. 

"Yeah, I saw that. You know more about the damn things than I do, Dr. Reed."

She laughed. "I'm Dr. Reed again?"

"Jessica," he whispered in that drawl that made her heart clench as he rubbed her back. "You ever been up in one before? You wanna fly with me one day?"

She let the journal slide to the floor as she gaped at him. "Would I be allowed? I've always wanted to!"

He shrugged. "I can investigate it. Or I could always sneak you out onto the tarmac after dark so you can sit in the cockpit."

"That sounds scandalous."

"It would be," he confirmed with a smirk. "You could sit on my lap. I could show my throttle. Teach you how to use it."

Jessica felt warm as she kissed him, his hands heavy on her lower back. But it was sweet and intentional instead of rushed even though she was straddling his abs. She was always at least slightly turned on when she was around Jake, and she was starting to suspect he felt the same way. But his restraint was sexy. 

"I like this," she whispered between soft kisses as she ran the tip of her nose up along his. 

"Me too, Baby," he replied, and when she bit her lip and pulled away a few inches to smile, he looked like he was in awe. 

"What?" she asked. 

He shook his head. "I just can't believe you're into me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're handsome. Everyone is into you."

"That's not what I meant," he said with a laugh. "And you're obviously better than everyone else."

Jessica had to reel in her ridiculous grin as she threaded her fingers through his soft hair. "Hey, can I ask you something? And feel free to say no, because it's probably going to be really, very dumb, and I won't be upset if you don't want to go-"

"Yes."

She stared at him for a beat. "I didn't even ask it yet."

"I know. Whatever it is, I'm in."

Once again, he was making her feel warm inside. And he still hadn't looked at the game. "So you'll be my date for a posh fraternity fundraiser for alumni weekend?"

He pushed her hair back behind her ear and said, "I don't think posh and fraternity belong in the same sentence together, but yes. I'd love to be your date. Since we're exclusive now."

"Oh, that was smoothe Lieutenant." She found herself tracing the lettering on his shirt as her cheek came to rest on his shoulder.

"I thought so, too," he whispered. Then she dozed off on him. 

-------------------------

Jake held Jessica while she slept, her breaths soft on his neck while he watched the end of the game. He should really get up and stir the chili, but he didn't want to disturb her. If dinner wasn't edible, he would just order a pizza instead. No big deal. 

She finally seemed fully comfortable with him. She was letting him hold her while she napped, and she wasn't shying away from the idea of them dating. He knew there was more to the picture with the way she made him work for it and the rumors Bradshaw's wife told him about. But she was so fucking sweet, Jake didn't care about what anyone else said. And it honestly turned him on when she made him earn his privileges with her. 

She moaned softly in her sleep and wrapped her arm around him. He was going to have to ask Bradshaw or his wife what to wear to a frat party. That's somewhere he never thought he'd be caught dead, but he found himself wanting to make Jessica happy. So exceptions could be made. 

Suddenly she popped up with both palms planted on his chest. "I can't believe I fell asleep," she mumbled, and Jake smiled at the mark on her face from where her glasses had been pressing. 

"You want dinner?" he asked as she sat up straddling his hips. Her shirt had slipped a bit, and he could see the strap of her bra. And honestly, this position was enough to get him going, the way her breasts were clearly pressed together inside her A&M tee. When she nodded, he scooped her up as he sat and then stood. 

She slid down his body with a little giggle, and soon they were both sitting on the stools at his kitchen island. He watched her dip a tortilla chip into her bowl of chili and take a bite. "This is so good," she gushed. "I don't know how to cook anything. You just put stuff in a crock pot? And it just cooks it into a meal?"

"Yep," he replied, trying not to laugh at the look on her face. Now he was thinking about buying her a crock pot. What the fuck was wrong with him? She took another bite and closed her eyes like it was the most pleasurable thing she'd ever tasted. "Baby, has nobody ever cooked for you before?"

"No," she moaned. "Unless you include my mom, and I only get to eat that for holidays. If I can manage to get back to Massachusetts."

He stroked her cheek with his fingers and said, "You want me to bring you dinner again this week? When you have office hours?"

She moaned again and climbed onto his lap to finish eating. Which turned into her straddling him again while he ran his hands all over her perfect ass again. And once again he could hardly believe he pumped the brakes so hard earlier, because eventually her lips were on his neck and her glasses were pressing into his jaw. 

"If you come by on Tuesday, I'll wear something cute to work," she informed him, and his head tipped back. 

"You always look cute."

"Then I'll wear something sexy."

Jake grunted. "Baby, you always look sexy." A few more brushes of her lips, and he found himself asking, "Do you want to spend the night?"

"Oh," she gasped, but she kissed his Adam's apple before pulling her lips away from him.

"We could cuddle. Make out," he clarified, meeting her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. "I could make you breakfast."

She bit her lip and then said, "See, this isn't fair. Now you know that the secret way to get me to do anything is with food. And I don't know what your secret is yet."

"Apparently it's girls with glasses."

Now she was laughing as she planted her hands on his shoulders. "I have a lot of work to do tomorrow at home. I need to start making up midterm exam questions."

"I could help you," he murmured, only half joking. "I solved your problem correctly the day we met, remember?"

"Jake, I will remember for the rest of my life how earnest you were the day we met."

He smiled, and he found his heart swelling with pride. "So you'll stay?"

"Next time," she whispered. "Next time I'll stay. And we can do more than cuddle and make out."

Jake pulled her a little closer with his hands still on her butt. "Yeah. Let's do that."

Eventually he packed up a container with the extra chili and linked his fingers with hers. He walked her to her car and kissed her until they were out of breath, and then he let her leave. But he missed her warmth and her hands on him. He ended up rereading her journal articles and looking up a recipe to make for Tuesday while he imagined just how sexy her outfit might be.

-------------------------

They are exclusive. She ordered the green set. She's dressing sexy on Tuesday. I'm ready. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 8

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