#PBExchangeReunion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

expectingtofly · 3 years

Text

Not Jealous (Okay, Maybe a Little... Maybe a Lot)

8.1k

fluff, set sometime in s13, tfw gets a visit from the djinn queen

(okay so in 13x16, Cas says he killed most of the djinn guarding the Tree of Life, but this fic ignores that bc I like to think that Cas is an excellent negotiator and actually became friends with the djinn and their queen :))

also posted on ao3

created for CastielWasTheFirstTemptation for the Profound Bond Discord Exchange

Dean was having a crappy Tuesday. And he’d had plenty of experience with bad Tuesdays.

He was sitting in the library trying to parse through a stack of books, organizing them according to random categories he was half-sure Sam had made up to specifically torture him.

They’d been busy with hunts all month and on their one day off, Sam had decided it was “organize the bunker” day. He was downstairs in one of the storage rooms happily cataloguing away. Dean was stuck up here, doing the same thing, less happily.

He was tossing a book onto the Sewer Dwelling Monsters pile when the bunker door screeched open.

“Hey,” he called, grabbing another book and leafing through it. “You better have remembered to pick up beer and pie because I’m going crazy here.”

“Dean, we have a visitor.”

And that’s when Dean’s Tuesday got worse.

Dean looked up to see Cas standing on the stairway next to a ridiculously tall man—and that was saying something when they lived with Sasquatch himself. Dean only needed one look at the black tattoos snaking over the man’s bald head and forearms to realize he was a Djinn.

Quickly, Dean stood, pushing his chair back. “Who the hell are you?” he demanded.

The man fixed him with a heavy stare, then proceeded to scan the room. Cas spoke up, “Don’t worry, he’s not a threat.” To the man, he said, “I promise it’s safe in here.”

“What—” Dean started, then the man nodded once and motioned to someone beyond the doorway.

In a loud voice, he announced, “May I present Queen of the Djinn, her majesty Zara.”

At his words, a woman swept through the door, dressed in a long, dark cloak, her arms and neck also covered in Djinn tattoos.

“Why, Castiel,” she said, gazing around the room. “What a lovely home you have. I have to say, though, I didn’t expect you to live underground.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean spoke up. “Who the fuck are you?”

The woman turned her eyes on him and Cas shifted uncomfortably. He was holding several reusable grocery bags in his hands. “Dean, this is Zara. My, uh, betrothed.”

“Your what?” Dean spluttered and the woman—Queen Zara, apparently—started down the stairs, her dress and cloak sweeping behind her.

“You must be Dean Winchester,” she said. “Castiel told me about you.” Reaching the bottom of the staircase, she extended her hand palm down, and Dean stared at it. He settled on shaking it, unsure whether she was expecting him to bow or kiss her hand.

“Sorry, can we back up for a second?” He looked up at Cas who was following the other Djinn down the stairs. “Did you say betrothed?”

“Yes,” Zara answered brightly.

“Okay,” Dean said, slowly, unsure if he was understanding this correctly. Cas looked a little guilty. “Care to elaborate, Cas?”

“I may have technically become married to Zara when I went in search of the fruit of the Tree of Life.” Dean raised his eyebrows, and he added, “And I may have forgotten to tell you.”

“You forgot to tell me?” Dean repeated.

“I was going to,” Cas said. “But then we ended up in that cartoon with the talking dog and there was so much going on—”

“If I may,” Zara interjected, and Dean realized Zara and the man, presumably her bodyguard, were watching them go back and forth. “I see there’s been a miscommunication. See, when Castiel arrived for negotiations to obtain the fruit of the Tree of Life, we Djinn were in the middle of a war. I asked for Castiel’s hand in marriage in exchange for giving him the fruit, and we pledged ourselves to each other, agreeing to hold the official binding ceremonies later when the war didn’t require all my focus.”

Dean glared at Cas. Pledged themselves to each other? Cas ducked his head with a sheepish look and set his grocery bags on the table.

Unbothered, Zara continued, “Now that the war has ended, I am able to turn my thoughts towards finalizing our relationship. I came to reunite with dear Castiel and bring him back to my kingdom for our official wedding ceremony.”

“Hold on,” Dean spoke up. “Wedding? Bring him back—Cas ain’t gonna marry you.”

Zara’s eye twitched. “I think that’s up to Castiel, isn’t it, Dean?”

Dean looked to Cas for help, who spoke up, “I’m afraid Dean is right, Zara. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I realized the extent of the commitment I made. I can’t marry you.”

Dean eyed Zara and her bodyguard, tensing for a fight, but Zara’s reaction was only to smile and pat Cas’ shoulder.

“It’s no surprise that you would feel that way, Castiel,” she said. “We hardly know each other, after all. I confess, part of my reasoning for journeying here was to see the real you, to learn about you. I’m eager for us to grow closer during our time together.”

“During our time—” Dean was interrupted by Zara clapping her hands. Instantly, the bunker door opened to admit a line of other Djinn who filed down the stairs, all carrying baskets or trunks or cases.

Dean stared at them. “What the fuck…”

“There’s more of them,” Cas said unhelpfully.

“Alright, we need to talk.” Grabbing Cas’ arm, Dean pulled him into the adjacent hallway. “Stay right there!” he told Zara, jabbing his finger at her.

“Dean, I’m sorry,” Cas started as Dean dragged him into the hallway.

“Dude, what the fuck? Getting freaking engaged to a Djinn isn’t just something you forget to tell us about!”

“I was preoccupied!” Cas protested.

“And now you’re gonna let them into the bunker? Are you crazy?”

“They’re not a threat, Dean. Zara is very different from the Djinn we’ve encountered before.”

Footsteps sounded behind them and Dean turned to see Sam running over. “What’s going on out here, what’s all that noise?”

“We’ve been invaded by the Djinn,” Dean said, and Sam’s eyes widened.

“What? How? I’ll grab guns—”

“No, Sam.” Cas put out his hand to stop Sam from bolting down the hallway. “It’s not like that, they’re friendly.”

“Oh, so now you’re buddies with them?” Dean asked.

Cas shot him a look and started explaining the situation to Sam. Shaking his head, Dean peeked out through the doorway to watch the Djinn pile their belongings on the map table, Zara giving instructions.

Preoccupied? Really? Then again, communication never had been one of his and Cas’ strengths.

There were about ten other Djinn besides Zara and her bodyguard. One of the men set down a large trunk and Dean winced at the scuffing noise it made on the floor. Then the man opened the trunk and Dean startled, realizing it was filled with weapons and blades.

“Hey!” he protested, storming into the room. “No weapons allowed in here. You don’t wanna start something with us, this is our home turf.”

The bodyguard stepped forward, cracking his knuckles, but Zara only laughed. “This is a friendly visit, Dean, I assure you. These items are for Castiel, as part of my dowry.” She brightened, seeing Sam and Cas enter the room. “Sam Winchester, I presume?” She extended her hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Sam took her hand and made an awkward nod, half bow. “Um, uh, pleasure."

“Charming,” Zara said with a laugh. She looked at Cas. “You were right, he does have such beautiful hair.”

Dean rolled his eyes and Zara motioned around the room. “As you can see, we’ve brought quite a few things. Would you mind having your attendants show mine to the cookery? We brought food for a feast.”

“Um, we don’t have attendants,” Cas said. He looked to Dean for help, and when Dean didn’t offer any assistance—Cas was the one who had gotten them into this mess—he said, “I can show you around.”

He headed off with Zara, her attendants holding baskets of food, and her bodyguard, who cast a suspicious look at Dean before following.

Dean glared at their retreating backs. “A feast? What the hell is happening?”

“She seems nice,” Sam commented.

“Nice? Did you miss the part where she’s engaged to Cas?”

“Yeah. Weird.” He started for the library. “I think we have a few books on Djinn. I wonder how binding their engagements are.”

Dean stared at his retreating back, then at the doorway where Cas and the Djinn had left through. “What the hell is going on?” he asked aloud.

A peek into the kitchen showed the Djinn plating food and cooking—Dean had to force himself to walk away before he started a war with them by barging in and demanding they stop touching his stove.

He followed Zara’s annoyingly regal voice to the hallway outside the bedrooms where Cas was apparently giving a tour to her and her bodyguard.

“How many people live here?” she asked as Dean walked over.

“Just the four of us,” Jack said.

Oh, so now Jack was in on it too. He smiled, noticing Dean. “Dean! You should try these cookies.” He held up something that looked suspiciously like what the Djinn had been putting on plates in the kitchen.

So now they were bribing his family with food? Crossing his arms, Dean said, “I don’t know if you noticed, Zara, but we weren’t exactly expecting you or your, uh, attendants. Just how long are you planning to stay here?”

“At least a week,” she answered, shattering any hope that they might be gone by 6pm. “Cas was just showing us all these extra bedrooms where we can stay.”

Dean glared at Cas, who avoided his eyes and motioned to Zara to follow him down the hallway. “Um, over here is where we keep archival documents,” he said.

Jack made to follow and Dean grabbed his elbow. “What’s her deal?” he asked, watching Zara and her bodyguard follow Cas down the hallway.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked, following his gaze.

“She barges in here with a dozen Djinn saying she’s engaged to Cas? Are they trying to infiltrate us? Can you tell if she’s evil?”

“She isn’t saying she’s engaged, she is engaged to Cas.” Jack finished off his cookie. “Cas told me, when he came back from Zara’s kingdom.”

“He told you?” And not me? he wanted to add.

Maybe it was implied on his face because Jack looked mildly uncomfortable. “I can tell, she isn’t evil. She’s friendly.”

“What else did Cas say about her?” Dean asked, trying not to sound too interested or concerned. No need to panic; Cas had only gotten engaged to obtain the Tree of Life fruit. Not like Cas was actually into the Queen.

“Cas said she was very nice, but that he was in a rush and didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. I don’t think he thought she would come after him.”

“Yeah, he looks real concerned,” Dean muttered, hearing Cas’ voice echo down the hallway along with Zara’s laughter.

Wiping crumbs off his hands, Jack said, “I’m gonna get another cookie.”

Stopping to grab his gun first, Dean followed Jack back to the kitchen. He swore, if the Djinn made a mess… But the room was empty and surprisingly clean for the amount of activity that had just been going on in there.

They followed the sound of voices to the library where the tables had been pushed together and covered in platters and dishes. Dean stopped in the doorway, staring.

“Cool!” Jack exclaimed, going over to a plate stacked high with cookies.

“I told them we could have the feast in here,” Sam said at Dean’s elbow and Dean startled.

“You told them—” Fuming, he glared at the Djinn talking to Jack. “What’s the verdict? How many do I gotta kill to get Cas out of this engagement?”

“Put the gun away, you don’t have to kill anyone. According to a book I found, as long as Zara agrees to call the engagement off before the wedding begins, Cas isn’t tied to her.” He gestured to the book shelves. “You know, this isn’t such a bad thing, them being here. We've never actually gotten to talk to any Djinn before, and the Men of Letters don’t have much information on them.”

“Of course you’d be a nerd about this,” Dean complained. He nodded at where Zara was entering the room talking with Cas. “Don’t think she’s gonna give Cas up that easily. She already seems pretty attached.”

“I’m sure Cas will talk to her, let her know this is all a misunderstanding. In the meantime, try to be friendly, okay? We can’t risk getting the Djinn on our bad side.”

“We could take them,” Dean said and Sam gave him his patented bitch face. He huffed. “Fine.”

A clinking noise drew Dean’s attention to where Zara was standing at the head of the table, tapping a glass with a spoon. The room grew quiet and she announced, “I want to say thank you to the Winchesters and my betrothed Castiel for so graciously welcoming us into their home. I hope this meal marks the beginning of a wonderful alliance between us Djinn and the hunters. Now let us eat!”

Everyone moved to take a seat, Zara gesturing for Cas to sit at her right hand side. Dean pointedly took a spot close by to keep an eye on her. “I think you’ll enjoy this dish,” Zara said, passing him a bowl. “Cas tells me you’re the cook here.”

“Uh—” Dean took the bowl and ladled what looked like mashed potatoes on his plate. “When’d he have time to tell you that?”

Zara waved her hand. “We talked some when he came to my kingdom. He told me all about you and your brother and why you needed the Tree of Life’s fruit. I must thank you for saving the world quite a few times.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“You’re welcome,” Sam spoke up.

Cas had been telling Zara about him? Inconsequential stuff, like that he cooked? Gathering himself, he said, “You know, we’ve encountered plenty Djinn before you.” He ignored the death stare Sam shot at him. “Had to kill plenty too. You wanna tell me how I’m supposed to trust you? What’s stopping you from poisoning all of us?”

Sam cleared his throat and the bodyguard standing behind Zara’s chair glowered at Dean. Dean glared back.

“Those Djinn were not part of my kingdom,” Zara said solemnly. “Our most sacred law is to never bring anyone harm. If I had found those Djinn you speak of, they would’ve been brought to a swift justice.” She glanced at Cas. “I’ve already gained the trust of Castiel, I'd hoped I had your trust as well.”

“You do,” Sam said quickly, side-eying Dean. “Dean’s just being, uh, cautious.”

Cas nodded, and across the table, Jack tore into his meal, seemingly not worried at all that the Djinn had prepared it. Sam gave Dean a pointed look and Dean rolled his eyes. So, Zara and her crew weren’t evil and apparently didn’t mean them any harm. Didn’t mean Dean was going to fall over himself trying to be friends.

Ignoring Sam’s record-setting bitch face, he hesitantly started eating, finding to his annoyance that Zara was right. This food was pretty damn good.

He kept his mouth shut throughout the rest of dinner. Zara answered Sam’s questions about her kingdom, about the community the Djinn had created in the mountains, hidden from humans. According to her, it was “Heaven on Earth.”

Scowling, Dean drank from the goblet in front of him. Some kind of concoction he wasn’t sure he liked or not. Zara sure was laying it on thick. When she mentioned royal gardens, Dean saw the moment interest flared in Cas’ eyes.

For fuck’s sake. Of course Zara loved to garden. Bet she had a whole bee farm, or whatever they called those. Anything to get in Cas’ pants, no doubt.

He tried another sip from the goblet and grimaced. No, not good, he decided. Way too similar to the healthy crap Sam was always eating. Cas asked about the plants Zara had in her gardens, and Dean wondered why Cas had never planted a garden here at the bunker. He was always talking about the benefits of spending time in nature since, apparently, they didn’t get enough sunlight living in an underground bunker. Then again, Dean hadn’t ever really taken Cas’ talk about gardens and sustainability seriously. He categorized Cas’ interest in plants and bees as just another example of what a dork he was. A powerful angel of the Lord, but a dork all the same.

“I’m so happy to see you again,” Zara told Cas as a few of her attendants served what Dean guessed was some kind of Djinn desert, some weird pale pudding. She leaned forward and took one of Cas’ hands, and Dean clenched his own hands into fists under the table.

Zara stroked her thumb over Cas’ knuckles. “Now that our tribe is at peace with our warring siblings to the North, we are looking to expand relations with other kinds. Humans, for instance, and angels. I think you can be a strong ally in making that happen.”

“I can try,” Cas said. He looked uncomfortable, staring at her holding his hand, and Dean remembered sitting across him in a brothel, trying to get him laid on possibly his last night on Earth. Good times. Even after years of being on Earth and talking to women, Cas never lost the deer in the headlights look when one of them showed interest in him. The sight gave Dean a strange satisfaction. Zara had no chance with Cas.

She was going to give it her best shot, though. As if a feast wasn’t enough, after dinner, Zara presented Cas with gifts—ornate swords and knives with gilded handles, books detailing the Djinn history and folklore, robes and cloaks like the ones Zara and her entourage wore. Cas kept a polite smile on his face, but Dean saw the increasingly overwhelmed look in his eyes at the sheer amount of gifts.

Dean felt similarly overwhelmed and, somewhere along the line, he decided he’d had enough of Zara doing her damndest to impress Cas, touching his arm at any given chance. She had Sam and Jack under her spell too, it seemed, because neither of them were bothered by the ridiculous show she was putting on.

Even when he left the library and shut the door to his room, voices and laughter carried down the hallway. He was glad everyone else was having a good time and completely ignoring the absurdity of this situation. Cas? Engaged? And to royalty?

Seething, he sat on his bed and turned on the TV, trying to distract himself. He didn’t know how much time had passed before he realized he was watching an infomercial for a nonstick pan.

A knock on his door sounded and he swore under his breath. “Go away, Sam,” he called. If he had to get another lecture about hospitality…

“It’s just me.”

Dean straightened, said, “Come in,” and Cas opened the door, holding a grocery bag.

“I know, I know,” Dean said. “Don’t be rude to our guests, blah blah blah. I get it.”

“You were very rude to Zara,” Cas agreed, shutting the door behind him. “She’s only trying to be kind.”

Dean scoffed. “Yeah. Kind. That’s all.” Cas stared at him, cocking his head, and Dean rolled his eyes. Of fucking course Cas would be oblivious to Zara flirting with him. “You finally get through the fuckton of gifts she brought?”

Cas sighed. “It was too much. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it all.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Sam will be up early organizing everything.” He nodded at the bag in Cas’ hand. “What’s that?”

“Oh, um,” Cas glanced down at it. “I thought you might want this.”

Dean took it from him and looked inside. The pie and beer he’d requested from the grocery store earlier that day. “Thanks,” he said.

Cas stepped closer to the bed, then hesitated. Dean motioned for him to sit and Cas did so on the edge of the bed, away from Dean’s legs. He glanced at the TV. “We should have another movie night soon. We haven’t had one in a long time.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He was pretty sure Cas was just trying to appease him, though he didn’t know why. He was the one who’d been rude to Zara, Cas’ “betrothed.”

He opened a beer and watched Cas out of the corner of his eye, heart starting to quicken a little, as it always did when he was alone with him. It was ridiculous, because he and Cas were just friends. Obviously. He didn’t know why he had to remind himself so often.

Cas twisted a loose thread on his trenchcoat sleeve. “Dean,” he started.

“Your girlfriend’s gonna start looking for you soon,” Dean interrupted. Cas lifted his head and squinted at him. “She sure is trying to impress you, going on and on about her kingdom.”

“It's a very beautiful place,” Cas said. “I wouldn’t mind visiting again. But I wouldn’t want to live there.” He studied him and Dean looked away, picked at lint on the comforter. “Dean, she may be trying to impress me, but I have no intention of marrying her, I never did. This whole situation is an unfortunate accident.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Right. Yeah. Of course.” Obviously. I know that. Didn’t mean Zara fawning over Cas didn’t make his skin crawl.

Cas looked like he wanted to say more, but he stood. “I suppose I should return to the library. Are you coming?”

“Uh, yeah, in a bit,”

Cas left and Dean stared at the closed door, then down at his pie. It shouldn’t matter what Cas did, who he was interested in, who flirted with him. Not like Dean had any say in the matter, not like they were dating or something—which was not an option. Because Cas was just a friend. His best friend, but a friend all the same.

Sighing, he picked up his pie and beer before he left his room. He was going to need them if he was going to have to watch Zara and Cas interact.

***

The next day, Zara and her entourage showed no signs of going home. Dean ran into several of them in the bathroom down the hall, two sitting in the kitchen talking to Jack, and four more in one of the archival rooms helping Sam—as Dean had suspected—catalogue Cas’ gifts.

Zara and Cas he found talking in the library, continuing a conversation from last night about agricultural practices in her kingdom. Apparently there was a lot to say on the topic. Last night, before going to bed, Zara had made some cheeky remark about waiting after the official wedding ceremony to consummate her and Cas’ marriage, and Dean had wanted to rip her head off. It only made things worse that apparently Cas wasn’t bothered by that remark, but of course not—Zara liked gardening and was cultured and had given him a million and one presents. There was no real reason to hate her, though that wouldn't stop Dean.

He paused in the library’s doorway, before Cas and Zara could spot him, and caught the tail end of what Zara was saying,

“I know that you are distanced from Heaven, as evidenced by you living with hunters.”

Dean bristled at the underlying meaning in her words—Cas had no place with him and Sam. They were just gross humans.

Zara continued, “We have many in my kingdom who have been displaced from their homes, who are no longer a part of their own. I think you will find us to be an accepting community.”

“I’m sure I would,” Cas said, and Dean’s heart sunk. “But Heaven hasn’t been my home in a long time. This is my home now.”

Dean felt a little stunned at his words. Cas said it so emphatically. As if the bunker wasn’t just a place he’d ended up, but somewhere he chose to be, wanted to be.

Making a U-turn, he grabbed his keys and jacket and took Baby out for a drive. Unfortunately, even the rushing wind through the windows and the blaring music on the radio couldn’t distract him from his thoughts.

Did Cas really think of the bunker as home? Here? With him and Sam and Jack? Well, of course, he told himself. Cas lived here, didn’t he?

It was more than that, though, Dean knew. Cas had rebelled against Heaven to help them. Stuck by their sides for years. If this wasn’t his home, then where else?

And who did Zara think she was? She thought Cas needed a home, that she could give him one. As if they weren’t good enough for him. Well, Dean knew Cas deserved a lot better, but they got along pretty well. Had been through enough shit together, at least.

Zara had met Cas only once; she hadn’t stopped apocalypses and faced demons with him. Dean knew Cas better than anyone, or so he liked to think. Cas knew him better than anyone, at least.

That’s what this is, he told himself. Why Zara annoyed him so much. He was just pissed that Zara thought she knew what was best for Cas. It didn’t matter that Cas seemed to get along well with her, that she had so much in common with him, that she wanted to marry him. Technically, if Cas wanted to marry her too, that wasn’t a problem either.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter and glared out at the road. Not a problem.

When the sky was dark, he returned from his drive to a quiet bunker. Zara and her attendants were nowhere to be seen, and as he came down the stairs, Cas walked into the war room.

“Where were you?” he asked, stopping short.

Dean shrugged. “Just out for a drive.” He held out a plastic bag. “Here.”

Frowning, Cas took it from him and pulled out two packets of seeds. “Tomato seeds?” he asked, studying them.

“Just thought, I don’t know. You’re always talking about nature and whatever. You could start a garden outside. If you want.”

Cas looked up at him, some unreadable emotion on his face. Dean almost asked if a garden was still in the works, or if Cas had started to envision the Djinn gardens. “Figure even if you don’t eat you should contribute to dinner,” he said instead. “Start growing food.”

Cas smiled and looked back at the seeds. “Thank you, Dean. That's very thoughtful of you.”

Dean felt his face heat. Looking around, he asked, “Where’s her majesty?”

“She went to bed.”

“She try to seduce you?”

Cas cocked his head. “No. Why would she?”

“Uh, maybe because she’s trying to marry you.”

“Well, I’m not marrying her. I think she understands that.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“I’ve made my intentions clear, Dean.”

“Right,” Dean said, not convinced. Cas studied him, the familiar, peculiar squint to his eyes and Dean nearly squirmed. Turning, he said, “I’m going to bed.”

He passed Sam in the hallway near the bedrooms. “Hey,” he said, not stopping.

“Dean,” Sam called, and he turned. “You alright? Where were you all day?”

“Just wanted to get away from our million visitors. I’m fine.”

“Is, um… Is everything alright with you and Cas? He was wondering where you went.”

Dean crossed his arms. “We’re fine. I mean, he brought the Djinn here, but nothing we can do about it now.”

“Right. Um. Well, it’s just…” Sam looked like he was choosing his words carefully. “You’ve been acting… Well, acting kinda weird around Zara and Cas.” Dean stared at him. “Like you’re jealous or something.”

“I’m not fucking jealous! What the hell is there to be jealous about?”

Sam raised his hands. “I’m just telling you what I see.”

“Well, you’re fucking wrong.” Sam started to speak, but Dean ignored him and turned on his heel, continued to his room. “I’m not fucking jealous,” he muttered under his breath.

I’m not jealous, he repeated to himself the next day, watching Zara and Cas talk over breakfast. Or the next, which played out the same way: too many strangers wandering the hallways, Zara taking up all of Cas’ attention. Not that Dean needed Cas’ attention; he just didn’t see how Cas could be so oblivious to Zara’s intentions.

Unless Cas wasn’t oblivious and he was actually interested in Zara.

Absurd, Dean told himself. But the idea sat heavy in his stomach anyway. I’m not jealous, he told himself again. He was starting to sound less convincing.

***

“Hey where’s Cas?”

Zara looked up from where she and Sam were poring over books in the library. Sam frowned, looking around. “I haven’t seen him yet today.”

“If you find him, tell him to join us,” Zara said, “Sam and I are going through the Men of Letters’ books on the Djinn. I’m afraid there are quite a few historical inaccuracies.”

“Right, sure.” Leaving the library, Dean headed back through the hallways, wondering where Cas could’ve gone. He hadn’t left Zara’s side much in the five days she’d been here.

Maybe he’s finally gotten annoyed with her, he thought hopefully.

When his search through the bunker proved futile, Dean had a thought and headed outside. Sure enough, a few yards from the bunker door, next to a bag of potting soil and a tray of small green containers, Cas sat cross legged on the grass holding one of the seed packets Dean had bought for him.

“Hey,” Dean said and Cas looked up at him.

“Hello.” He began placing the seeds into the containers and Dean stood there awkwardly, watching. Maybe planting the seeds was a sign; maybe this meant Cas was planning to stay. Or maybe it meant Cas was going to take his tomato plants with him to Zara’s kingdom.

When Cas remained silent, Dean started turning away to leave him to his planting. “You can fill this tray with soil,” Cas spoke up, stopping him.

“Um, okay.” Sitting down next to him, Dean scooped soil out of the bag with a shovel and poured it carefully into the planting containers. Cas smoothed soil over the seeds he'd planted.

“Zara and Sam sure are getting along well,” Dean said after a few minutes of silence. “They’re going through the books in the library right now. Apparently there’s a lot of ‘inaccuracies’ in them.”

“Hmm.” There was a smudge of dirt on Cas’ chin that Dean was more than tempted to wipe off. Looking away, he poured more dirt in the containers before he was idiotic enough to try.

The weather was warm, a breeze rustling the leafy tree branches around them. Dean wished he could relax, but being in such close proximity to Cas was making his pulse race, per usual. Maybe even more so now, considering the way he’d been feeling lately. Not jealousy, he told himself. Just, concern. Friendly concern for Cas.

Unwittingly, he thought of the way Zara looked at Cas, spoke to him, touched him, and he gripped the shovel tighter in his hand. Okay. Fine. Maybe Sam was sorta right. Maybe he was a little jealous. It didn’t mean anything though.

Realizing Cas had stopped planting seeds, he glanced sideways at him. Cas was letting soil sift through his fingers, a crease between his brows and a seriousness in his gaze that didn’t match the gentle way his fingers moved through the dirt. Dean started to wonder if Cas had come out here to get away from everyone, if something was on his mind.

“You and your plants there wanna get a room?” he asked and, fuck, that wasn’t what he wanted to say. Words were hard.

Cas glanced at him, then his recently planted seeds, and dropped the dirt he was holding. Apropos of nothing, he said, “Zara said she’ll call off the engagement if I really want.”

Dean’s initial surge of relief faded away when Cas kept glaring at the soil. Since he was pretty sure the tomato seeds hadn’t done anything to bother him, he asked, suddenly nervous, “Do you want to call it off?”

“Yes, Dean. I don’t want to marry her.” Looking away, he brushed dirt from his hands.

“But?” Dean pressed.

Cas sighed. “But she wants me to come back with her. Just for a visit. And I don’t know if I should.” He reached for a watering can at his side. “Zara and the other members of her kingdom were very welcoming when I first visited, and I’ve enjoyed taking to Zara during her stay here, but we have work to do. I can’t just leave.”

They did have work to do, but that was nothing new. Dean looked around at the start of Cas’ garden, at the slight rise of dirt a few yards away that marked the bunker underground. Maybe this was home for Cas, but it couldn’t compare to a kingdom, not how Zara described it. Begrudgingly, he thought of Cas and Zara's similar interests and her descriptions of her kingdom and how perfect it would be for Cas.

“Maybe you should visit,” he said, hating the way the words felt in his mouth. Cas frowned at him and he added, “Not saying you should marry Zara, but sounds like a cool place.” One part of his brain screamed at him to shut up shut up shut up, but the other told him this was the mature thing to do. Give Cas the freedom to make up his own mind.

Cas nodded, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know.” he said quietly. “But if you really think so...”

“Yeah, of course,” Dean said, feeling a little sick. Ignoring the sensation, he pat Cas on the shoulder. “Whatever you want.”

Take that, Sam. Could a jealous person do this?

***

Encouraging Cas to leave with his Djinn friends may have been the mature thing to do, but that didn’t stop it from hurting like hell. Going back inside, Dean holed up into his room, not wanting to hear Zara’s gleeful excitement when Cas told her he was going back with her to her kingdom. He had a feeling Zara wasn’t going to be calling off the engagement anytime soon.

He didn’t emerge until that night, when sounds of conversation and activity had diminished outside his door. One thing he had to say for the Djinn, despite the number of them staying over, the bunker had never been cleaner and they’d all obeyed his command to stay out of the garage. Begrudgingly, he had to admit it wasn’t so bad having them over. If only Zara wasn’t actively trying to impress Cas.

How many days had they been here? They’d probably be leaving soon. His stomach twisted at the thought, knowing they would take Cas with them.

Just for a visit, he told himself. He’ll be back.

He went into the library looking for a drink and found Zara and Cas poring over books side by side.

“Oh, hey,” he said, stopping in the doorway.

Cas looked up at him, a worried expression on his face. “Are you alright, Dean? You disappeared all day.”

Why does everyone keep asking me that? Going to a side table, he poured himself a drink. “Yeah. Just tired.”

“I’m sure it must be exhausting hosting so many visitors all week,” Zara said. You don’t know the half of it, Dean thought. “But don’t worry, we’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.”

Dean turned, nearly spilling his whiskey. “Wait, what?”

Zara smiled at him. “We’re returning to my kingdom tomorrow.”

He thought he’d have a few more days… “Tomorrow?” he managed.

“Yes. I’m afraid I can’t stay forever, my people need me back home. And I know they will be waiting to hear news of my betrothed.” She pat Cas’ hand and Cas turned red.

“Oh. Right,” Dean managed. “Okay.”

He tried to say something else, then turned and left the room in a rush. Tomorrow. Cas was gonna leave and Dean had told him he should go.

The kitchen was empty and he sat at the table, stared at the glass in his hand.

I’m being an idiot, he thought. Cas can do whatever he wants, he doesn’t have to stay here. Probably been looking for an out for ages.

Needing to do something with his hands, he stood and grabbed ingredients from the cupboards. Without really thinking about it, he started making a pie, mixing the ingredients with more force than was necessary.

“Fucking ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath, rolling out the pie dough. Tell Cas to go to a Djinn kingdom, that’s smart. With Zara of all people? He’s gonna come back officially married to her, talking about the royal gardens. Or just not come back at all.

“Fuck,” he muttered, throwing open the fridge door to grab the butter.

“What’re you doing?”

Dean wheeled around to see Sam standing in the doorway. “What’s it look like?” He slammed shut the fridge door. “Making a goddamn pie.”

“At…” Sam leaned forward to see the time on the microwave. “2:14am?”

“Is it a crime to make a pie at 2am? I had a craving.”

“What are you, pregnant?”

Dean flipped him off and Sam leaned on the doorway. “Don’t see why you’re in such a bad mood. You should be glad; Zara’s leaving tomorrow. You’ve been bitching all week about the ‘invasion’.”

Pausing in draping the pie crust dough over the filling, Dean stared at him. Glad? Was no one else seeing the problem here? “What, you going with them too? Packed your bags yet? Zara seems to have put you under her spell too.”

Sam frowned. “Dean, you don’t think Cas—“

“It doesn’t matter,” Dean said quickly. “He can do whatever he wants.”

“Yeah, but you got this all wrong.” Straightening from the doorway, Sam came to the island. “Cas isn’t going with the Djinn.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he isn’t! Why the hell would he?”

Oh, I don’t know, Dean thought. Maybe because Zara is fucking perfect for him and knows exactly what he wants and knows how to actually talk to him and not act like a goddamn idiot every time he’s in the room.

Furiously, he crimped the edges of the pie crust and accidentally tore a hole. “Son of a bitch!”

“Okay...” Sam said, watching him. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but snap out of it. Cas isn’t going anywhere and maybe if you talked to him, you’d know that. Or even just stopped to think for a second.”

“Fuck off,” Dean said, and Sam threw up his hands.

“Fine,” he said, leaving the room. “But you’re freaking out over nothing.”

Dean glared at him and put his pie in the oven, sat back down. He’d done plenty of thinking and like it or not, it didn’t seem completely outside the realm of possibility that Cas would want to be with someone who understood him and appreciated him. Not that Dean didn’t understand or appreciate him, of course he did. Cas was his best friend and Cas had saved his life countless times and Cas was Cas—he was dorky and sarcastic and weird and considerate and too fucking earnest in a way that made Dean squirm while also being secretly jealous of how Cas could just say things and, and—

And fuck he wanted Cas to stay.

He didn’t know how long he stared at the table, but he startled when the timer beeped to announce his pie was done. He glanced at the oven, then looked around the empty room.

"I think I really like him," he said aloud.

Taking the pie out of the oven, Dean grabbed plates and silverware and headed to the library, hardly knowing what he was doing, just hoping to find Cas. Thankfully, Cas was still there, sitting alone.

“Made pie,” Dean announced eloquently, setting everything down.

Cas looked up and shut the book he was reading. “Oh.”

Tossing his oven mitts to the side, Dean cut a slice and wordlessly slid the plate to Cas. Cas stared at him like he had two heads. “Figured you might want to try it,” he said. “See what the molecules taste like.” In truth, he was stalling. He didn’t know what to say to Cas, how to share his recent epiphany that yes, he was jealous, and yes, he did like his best friend, and yes, he was panicking a little.

Cas looked like he had a few questions, but he took the plate. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem.” Dean’s hands were sweating as he served himself his own slice and sat down across from Cas. He had been hungry before, but now his stomach clenched in anxiety, too many words rolling around in his head with no coherency.

Cas picked up his fork and Dean figured the best way to start was with the truth.

“Don’t go,” he blurted out.

Cas paused, fork poised midair. “What?”

Dean’s face flushed, but it was either speak now or regret it forever. “I know I said you should leave with Zara, but I didn’t mean it.”

Cas slowly lowered his fork, and it seemed speaking a few words broke down a wall in Dean’s mind because the rest came flooding out.

“I know I can be a real dick,” he said, “and I know I don’t know anything about gardening or agriculture, and I know I’ve been acting weird lately, but it’s because I really don’t want Zara to take you away from us. And maybe that’s selfish on my end—no, I know it is. But she doesn’t know you, really know you! And I do. I’ve known you forever and you’re my best friend and also maybe I wish we were more.” His face heated further, and he quickly added, “It’s alright if you don’t want more, that’s fine, just forget this conversation, but the main point is that I don’t want you to leave. I mean that. Please stay.”

Cas’ gaze had turned serious during Dean’s rambling, and Dean stopped there, heart pounding, mouth dry. He hadn’t expected to say all that, but he realized he meant what he’d said. Had meant all of it for a long time now, even if he’d been pretending not to. And maybe it was too late to tell Cas now. But he’d finally said it.

“Dean,” Cas said, and Dean braced himself for the I’m sorry, but... The, you suck and I’m leaving with Zara. Or even, you want more? That’s absurd. Why the hell would we ever be more than friends?

But what Cas said, instead, was, “I thought you wanted me to leave.”

Dean stared at him. And, yeah, he guessed he had told Cas to leave. But Cas should know by now that he was an idiot who usually said the wrong things. “I didn’t mean it,” he said. “I’ll go crazy if you leave, honest. I can’t…” He thought about how empty the bunker felt when Cas left for even a day, thought about how much it killed him to see Cas with Zara, and said, almost desperately, “I can’t do that. You leaving.”

Cas’ gaze had softened and his voice was quiet when he asked, “What do you mean by more?”

Dean’s heartbeat kicked up and he stared at his plate. Fuck. What did he mean? “I don’t know. Well, maybe I do. I just…” He took a deep breath and met Cas’ eyes. “I just want to be with you. Romantically, or whatever. More than just being friends.” He held Cas’ gaze even though his heart was pounding and a tiny voice in his brain screamed, abort mission, because it felt like such a relief to get the words out, albeit awkward and stilted.

Cas studied him and Dean’s pulse hammered in his chest as he waited for inevitable rejection. Instinct told him to backtrack, but now that he’d voiced everything, it seemed like torture to have to carry it all inside him again. He didn’t know how he’d done it for years.

Then Cas spoke. “I want more too,” he said, like it was the easiest thing to say in the world.

Dean stared at him. “You do?” he managed, and Cas nodded.

“I was never going to leave, Dean. This,” he gestured around them. “This is my home. Here with you. I want to be with you too.”

“Oh,” Dean breathed. Cas never was going to leave. He started to feel a little ridiculous for his panicked pie baking, but a smile tugged at the corner of Cas’ mouth and Dean started smiling too. Cas wanted more.

“Can I… Can I kiss you?” he asked and Cas nodded. He started pushing his chair back, then Dean was standing and meeting him by his chair.

Raising his hand, he touched Cas’ cheek. He was feeling a little dizzy from the remarkable change of events in so short a time, but the look in Cas’ eyes anchored him. This is what he wanted, had been wanting.

Cas’ eyes fell shut when he leaned down to kiss him, and Dean smiled a little before pressing his lips to Cas’, finally.

His brain short circuited a little when Cas kissed him back, and it was a second before he could process the way Cas was pressing up close to him, hands gripping at his shirt. Slipping his arms around Cas’ waist, he pulled him flush, chest to chest. Cas made a small noise in the back of his throat and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean’s head spun.

They kissed until Dean couldn’t catch his breath, until he felt weak at the knees. He let out a breathless laugh when they broke apart, and Cas smiled at him.

“I’ve wanted more for a long time,” he said. “I didn’t think you did too.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean kissed him again, pausing to say, “I guess I just never admitted it to myself.”

“And you realized this while making pie?” Cas asked, gesturing to the dish on the table.

“Yeah,” Dean admitted, a little sheepishly. “But better late than never, right?”

“Right,” Cas said with a smile and kissed him.

Dean kissed him back, then took his hand, tugged him to the hallway. Cas followed easily, smiling, and Dean couldn’t resist kissing him again along the way.

They eventually made it to Dean’s bedroom, but Cas paused when Dean grabbed the doorknob. “Hold on.”

Letting go of Dean’s hand, he went to the room where Zara was staying and knocked on her door.

After a few moments, she opened it in a silk nightgown. “Why, hello, Castiel,” she said smiling. “What a surprise.”

“I need you to annul our engagement,” Cas said and Zara’s smile froze. Dean bit back a grin. “Now,” Cas added.

“I—Um. I thought we would discuss this further at a later time. Perhaps allow you more time to decide—”

“I’ve decided.” Cas motioned to Dean, and Zara leaned out to see him standing there. Dean waved. “My home is here.”

Zara blinked at them and Dean stepped forward. “What he means is,” he snaked his hand around Cas’ waist, “he’s taken.”

Cas grinned at him and Zara looked mildly stricken, staring back and forth between them. Then resignation spread over her features and she smiled a little. “I see.” Waving her hand, she said, “Well, then. Consider yourself free of our engagement.”

“Thank you,” Cas said.

“Of course. It’s the least I can do to repay your hospitality. And I won’t stand in the way of true love.” She started to shut her door, then paused, looking at Dean, “And since I seem to be single once again, please tell your brother he is welcome to visit my kingdom anytime.” With a wink, she shut her door, and Dean stared at it for a moment.

“I don’t wanna unpack all that.” He looked at Cas and smiled a little. “You sure you don’t wanna marry her?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I’m sure.” And, as if to prove his point, he kissed Dean again. Then he pulled back to meet Dean's eyes. "You haven't been jealous all this time, have you?"

"No," Dean said. Cas' eyes narrowed and Dean admitted, "Maybe a little." Okay, maybe a lot.

Tag List:

@becky-srs @xojo @marvelnaturalock @aelysianmuse @prayedtoyou @letsjustdieeveryone @good-things-do-happen-dean @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @theninthdutchessofhell @madronasky @famouspsychicpizzabandit @multifandomdisorder @arcticfox007 @mixtapecas @improvedpeanut @castiel-is-a-cat @harmonyhelms @thetrueliesofafangirl @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you @theangelwiththewormstache @confusedisaster @welcome-to-crowleys-hellhole @queen-rowenas (tagging you bc your post about the djinn queen sparked this idea :))

#PBExchangeReunion #profoundnet #dean is a little out of touch with his feelings #dean gets jealous #first kiss #sam knows what's up #expectingtofly writes

116 notes · View notes

ashdeancas · 3 years

Text

Heaven on Earth

This was written as part of the ProfoundBond fic exchange for @internetintroverts . I really do hope you like it!

Dean was standing near the trees outside the bunker enjoying the gentle early morning sun. The rising sun cast a rosy hue across the morning sky. He could hear the birds singing and flying around, relishing the perfect spring morning.

I should probably head inside and make some breakfast. Dean thought, Cas will be up soon.

As he was making breakfast he was thinking if he should surprise Cas with a breakfast in bed. Some bacon, toast and eggs to go with a hot cup of coffee.

He set the breakfast on the tray and took it to their room. Cas was still sleeping, Dean could feel his heart swell with love seeing him so peaceful and content.

“Hey, Angel. Rise and shine.”, Dean said softly, caressing his cheek.

“Nooooo. I want to sleep. Few more minutes”, Cas grumbled.

“Come on, wake up. I made you breakfast.”

Dean moved the breakfast tray closer to Cas’s nose to try to wake him up. Cas slowly opened his eyes and peeked at the breakfast.

“Mmmmmm. Smells so good. Thank you, Dean“

“No problem, Cas. Now, come on, get up and eat.”

“No, not yet. Not until I get my morning kiss.”

Dean laughed as he leaned in to offer a kiss that’s just like everything else this morning - soft, gentle, and perfect.

“I love you, Cas.”

“I love you, too, Dean. I wish you had told me this before it was too late.” said Cas with a sad smile.

Dean heard a loud wailing sound and he jerked awake, clutching his heart. He looked around trying to get his bearings. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Yet it felt so real.

The wailing was getting louder. Dean groaned as he got up from his bed and made his way to Jack’s room.

Sam was already there trying to get Jack to stop crying.

“It’s okay, Jack. Everything is okay, I am here. You want some milk, huh? Come on, let’s go to the kitchen.” said Sam as he picked Jack up from his crib.

He noticed Dean standing at the door and said “You look like hell. Please tell me you weren’t drinking again.”

Dean shrugged and turned to head to the bathroom to take some aspirin for his throbbing headache.

“Come on, Dean. It’s been three months since Cas died. I miss him, too. But you can’t keep drinking yourself to death. Please, talk to me.”

“Just leave me alone, Sam.”

He could see the worry on Sam’s face but he couldn’t face it, talk about it.

Dean went inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror, face red and tears slipping down his cheeks.

I am sorry, Cas. I wish I had told you sooner. Confessed my feelings instead of cowering behind a wall, being an emotional mess. Now it’s too late. Too fucking late. And I can’t do anything about it.

Dean closed his eyes, trying to remember his dream, Cas smiling at him, telling Dean that he loves him. But all he could think about was that night he lost everything. The night he lost Cas. The night Lucifer stabbed him before Dean and Sam could seal him inside the Apocalypse world forever.

Dean kneeled at the spot where Lucifer stabbed Cas. He did not know how long he was kneeling next to Cas, was it seconds? Minutes? Hours?

He remembered Sam talking to him, trying to get him to come inside the cabin, saying something about Jack and Kelly dying giving birth to Jack. But he could not bring himself to think about all that. All he could do was stay with Cas.

Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Cas, my Angel, my best friend, my person, my everything. How many times he longed for Cas when he was off doing his Heaven work. How many times he longed to tell Cas how he really felt. How he loved him with everything he got. How scared he was to admit his feelings towards Cas.

But now it's too late. Cas is dead. Everytime he closed his eyes he could see the blinding flash of light, Cas's grace leaving his vessel.

Dean kept staring at Cas’s burnt wings etched on the ground. Oh, how many times he wondered what Cas’s wings would look like. How many times he wondered if Cas would show him his wings, to touch it, to feel it.

But this was not how he imagined seeing his wings. Not dead. Not burnt to the ground.

Cas, please come back to me. I need you.

Dean showered, took some Aspirin and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Sam was sitting on the dining table with Jack on his lap, feeding him a bottle of milk.

He was making some bacon when all of a sudden he remembered his dream. He was making Cas bacon and eggs too. He felt the spatula leave his hand and drop to the floor. Dean’s throat closed up and tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. No, no, no. Stop thinking about it.

“Dean, are you okay?” asked Sam with a tinge of worry in his voice.

Dean cleared his throat and said “Yeah, Sam. I am awesome.”

Sam sighed and said “Do you want to hold Jack for a while?”

Dean looked at the small bundle in Sam’s lap, tiny fingers wrapped around his feeding bottle. But all Dean could see iis that he is Lucifer’s son.

“No, Sammy. I don’t want to hold him” said Dean roughly.

“Dean, he is just a baby. Just, look at him. He’s so adorable.”

“No, Sam. I can hardly look at the kid. He is Lucifer’s child. He’s the reason Cas is dead. He promised him paradise on earth and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead. Now, you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t.” shouted Dean, all his feelings and regrets turning into such anger.

Jack started to cry again. Sam gave him an annoyed look and left the kitchen with Jack.

Dean was trying to calm himself down by taking deep breaths. He shouldn’t have shouted at Sam. Deep down he knows it’s not Jack’s fault. I mean, he is just a baby, an infant. Damn it. He should apologize to Sam later. Maybe buy him a salad or something. But not now. Right now, all Dean wanted to do was drink and pass out so that he doesn’t have to deal with all his feelings towards Cas, all those unsaid words.

Dean went on a couple of solo hunts to take his mind off things. A vampire nest in Omaha. A djinn case in Wilmington. And a bunch of bars along the way. Sam called him every now and then to give him some updates about the case, told him about Jack and how adorable and lovely he is and asked Dean how he is doing. Dean always cut the call when he was asked that question and headed to the bar to drown in his sorrows instead.

Dean was heading back to the bunker after three weeks. He got there around midnight. Sam and Jack were already asleep. He showered, went to bed and tried to get some sleep.

Next morning, he woke up and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast for them. Sam and Jack came in after a few minutes. Jack was cooing in Sam’s arms, trying to catch his ridiculously long hair.

“Morning, Sammy. How is he doing?” asked Dean nodding at Jack.

Sam was looking at Jack with a soft smile and said “He is doing great, Dean. He is a really quiet kid, not troublesome at all.”

“Hmmm.”

They were having their breakfast, Jack was drinking his milk making tiny sounds every now and then. Sam kept looking at Dean as if he wanted to ask something.

Finally, after a long silence, “Dean. Can you look after him today? I have been cooped up inside, doing baby stuff for weeks. I feel like I need a day or two out in the sun, get some fresh air, maybe go watch a movie at the theater next town. There is a new French documentary I want to watch.”

Dean looked at Sam. He really looked like he needed some rest from the baby duties. He looked at Jack. Dean sighed.

“Fine, Sam. I can take care of him for a day or two.”

“Cool, thanks, Dean. All of Jack’s stuff is there in his room. His diaper bag, his clothes, his toys.” said Sam as he handed Jack to Dean.

After a few minutes, he heard the bunker door close. Dean looked at Jack. He had finished his bottle and looked like he was about to take a nap.

“Let’s get you into bed, now, shall we?” said Dean as he left the kitchen to Jack’s room.

Jack was quiet for the most part. Dean spent some time watching western movies and hanging out with Jack. Sam was right, Jack was an easy kid.

He found it slightly better to look at Jack now, to take care of him. All his anger seemed to vanish when Jack gave him a smile.

He had put Jack to sleep and went to his own room. Dean was struggling to go to sleep. He was still thinking about Cas and imagining “What if” scenarios. He also prayed to Chuck, again, begging him to bring Cas back. But nothing happened.

He heard some noises coming from Jack’s room. Dean went to check in on him and found that Jack was wide awake.

He picked him up from his crib and sat on the rocking chair near the window.

“Hey, kiddo. Can’t sleep? Me too.”

Jack looked at him with those big blue eyes. Eyes just like Cas’s.

“You know, Castiel, he was an Angel. You have his eyes. He has these blue eyes, eyes like the sky. Every time I look at your eyes, you remind me so much of him. Hell, you even look like him. I don’t know how much you know about Cas, how much your Mom told you, but he loved you before you were even born. He believed in you. He believed that you will be good for this Earth. You will rid this Earth of suffering. But he is gone now, and I don’t know where he is, heaven or somewhere else, so even if you do all that, he wouldn’t be here to see it all.”

Jack was looking at Dean without taking his eyes off, as if he was absorbing Dean’s every word.

“He saved me, you know. So many freaking times. He even gave up Heaven and his army for us, for me. I don’t think I deserved it, all the faith he had in me. I couldn’t even save him when he was taken from me. I failed him.

Tears were rolling down Dean’s face, but Dean continued.

“I miss him, Jack. I miss him so much. I … I love him. I love him so much it hurts. I don’t think I will be able survive without him. I regret not telling him how I felt, how I feel. I wish I could get him back, I wish I could say all this to him. But, it’s too late now.”

Dean rubbed the tears off his face and looked at Jack. Jack was still staring at Dean with such intensity and for a minute he thought Jack’s eyes turned golden and it glowed.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at Jack again, but it was back to blue. Did he imagine that? Did he hallucinate the golden eyes?

They both were quiet for a while and slowly Jack drifted off to sleep. Dean kissed Jack’s forehead and put him in his crib.

“Good night, Jack. Sleep well.” said Dean and went back to his room.

A few minutes later Dean got a call on his phone. Sam was probably at the movies or sleeping in a motel, who would be calling at this hour?

Dean’s heart raced as he looked at the caller ID. It was Cas. How was that possible?

“Cas?”

“Dean, it’s me. I am outside. Can you let me in?”

It definitely sounded like Cas. He raced off to the bunker entrance and opened the door.

“Cas?”

“Hello, Dean”

He rushed to hug him, and held on to Cas for far too long. Cas hugged him back and he didn’t want to let go of him either.

“Never do that again, Cas. Please don’t die on me.”

“Okay, Dean.” Cas said as he tightened his grip on Dean.

Dean finally let go of Cas, but he was still close enough to feel Cas’s warmth next to him, still holding his hands. Dean closed the bunker door and led Cas to the war room. Dean seemed to be a loss for words.

“How long was I gone?” enquired Cas.

His lips started to quiver and he was starting to tear up. “Too damn long, Cas. I thought I lost you.”

“What happened? How are you here?” asked Dean.

“I was in the Empty, it was dark and well, nothing. It’s this void where angels and demons go after they die. They sleep for eternity dreaming about all the regrets and failures. It was awful.”

“I am sorry, Cas. But hey, you are back now, I am so glad you are back, pal.” said Dean, and before he could lose the courage, Dean added, “and I missed you, so much”.

“How are you, Dean? What happened after I was gone? Where is Sam and Jack?”

“Sam is taking a couple days off to get some fresh air. As for Jack, come on, let me take you to him” said Dean as he took Cas’s hand and led him to Jack’s room. It felt good to hold his hand, comfortable. Cas did not seem to mind, either.

“Cas, meet Jack.”

Cas looked at Jack with a face full of love and adoration. Dean’s heart swelled with love looking at Cas with such a soft expression on his face.

“He looks so much like you. He has your eyes, you know” said Dean softly.

“He’s beautiful”, whispered Cas.

They both stood near the crib for a few more moments, staring at Jack, staring at each other.

Dean could not keep it in any longer.

“Cas, I need to tell you something.” said Dean as he left Jack’s room.

Cas looked at Dean with questioning eyes, “Sleep well, Jack” and he followed Dean to his room.

Dean was pacing in his room, trying to control his heart beat. He needed to say it now. Cas is back, he is here. He has to tell Cas how he feels. Otherwise he would crumble to dust. All those times he wished that he had told Cas the truth, he could not wait any longer. He should not wait any longer. He waited long enough.

“Dean. What’s wrong?” asked Cas as he came inside Dean’s room.

“Cas, I, uh, I need to tell you something.”

Cas was looking at him with a worried look in his eyes. Dean cursed himself for panicking and making Cas worry.

“Cas, I know that I have said some hurtful stuff to you in the past. You are my best friend and I sometimes did not treat you like that. I don’t know why I get so angry, it’s just always been there. When things go bad, it comes out and I can’t stop it. No matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it.”

Dean could feel his eyes burn as he feels the tears running down his face. Cas was looking at him with a pained expression, his eyes starting to tear up as well.

“I, uh, I, uh, I love you, Cas. I have been in love with you for a while now.” whispered Dean as he took a step closer to Cas.

Dean could see a flicker of shock in Cas’s eyes now.

Cas stared at him with tears in his eyes. “Dean …” said Cas softly.

“I regret the fact that it’s taken me so long to say it. I wish I had the courage to say something before, but I was a coward.”

The air was thick with emotion. Cas was still quietly staring at Dean, his expression soft. Dean was starting to panic, what if he doesn’t love me like that, what if I ruined our friendship by saying things out loud.

“Cas, say something” pleaded Dean.

“Dean” breathed Cas, quiet but raw with emotion, eyes wide in shock. The constant longing he had sensed from Dean growing over the years made so much sense now.

“Cas”

“Dean, everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.” said Cas softly with tears running down his face as well.

“I love you, too, Dean”

Dean closed the distance between them. He let his eyes wander between Cas’s eyes and lips. Dean bites his lips. He leaned in slowly, giving Cas some time to back off if he wanted to.

“Cas, Can I kiss you?”

Cas gently wiped the tears off Dean’s face and he gave Dean an adorable smile and nodded.

Dean looked into Cas’s eyes and gently cupped his face before closing his eyes and placing a tender kiss as delicately as he could on Cas’s lips.

As the kiss became more intense, Cas snaked his fingers into Dean’s hair and his other hand was wrapped firmly around his lower back. Dean pressed his lips more firmly into Cas’s and slipped his cautiously into his lips. Soon they were gasping for air, well at least Dean was. Cas, being an angel, he could go on all night long.

“Wow, that was awesome” said Dean breathlessly. That was when he noticed something else embracing him, something soft. He turned and saw Cas’s wings was also wrapped around him.

His wings. It was magnificent, divine. It was black with hints of green.

“Cas, they are beautiful. You are beautiful” gasped Dean.

“Thank you, Dean.” blushed Cas.

“Can I touch them?” Dean whispered in awe.

Cas nodded. Dean slowly raised his hands to touch Cas’s feathers. The wings twitched a little as Dean trailed his hands over them. It was so soft.

“Awesome”

They kissed for quite some time and then they finally went to bed.

Next morning, they woke up to find Sam playing with Jack sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hello, Sam” said Cas.

Sam looked up with a shocked and happy face. “Cas?”

He looked at Dean looking for some kind of explanation. Dean went to take Jack off Sam's hands. Sam rushed to give Cas a hug.

“I am so glad you are back, Cas.”

“Me, too, Sam” said Cas.

They all sat around the kitchen table, exchanging stories. Jack instantly liked Cas, he jumped to Cas from Dean’s arms. Dean was looking at them with so much love. Dean took Cas’s hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles. Sam caught his expression and Dean blushed, shrugging and getting up to make some breakfast.

Dean has never been this happy. This peaceful. This content. He has everything he needs right here. He has his Angel, his kid and his baby brother.

All was well. This is heaven on earth.

#PBExchangeReunion #profoundnet #destiel #deancas #supernatural #spn #destiel fanfic #fanfic

13 notes · View notes